Skip to content
Artwork for Five Aside
SportsSoccer

Five Aside

Five-aside

This is the Five-a-side pod, essentially a futbol podcast although once in a while we will delve into other topics such as lifestyle, social/political issues, history etc

Play
  • 35 episodes
  • Avg 46 min
  • English

Support the show

Goes straight to the publisher. podnod takes nothing.

Counted on this page — what you have heard stays on this device, so it is not something the list can be paged by.
  • S4 · E18
    Friday · 12 min

    Alonso? I’ve Seen Enough.

    Chelsea’s honeymoon is officially looking shaky. After a frustrating defeat to Brentford, Akan unloads on Alonso’s tactics, substitutions and in-game management — questioning whether individual brilliance has been covering up much bigger problems all season. From the Quenda vs Estevão decision to Brentford’s second-half tactical adjustments, the boys break down where Chelsea lost control and why patience with Alonso is already wearing dangerously thin. Timestamps 00:00 — What went wrong for Chelsea? 00:44 — Warning signs in Alonso’s starting XI 01:20 — Brentford change the game after halftime 02:05 — Is Alonso getting exposed? 02:47 — Chelsea’s attack stops clicking 03:39 — Why doesn’t Alonso trust Estevão? 04:07 — “I’ve seen enough” — Akan loses patience 05:00 — Individual brilliance masking tactical problems? 05:50 — Chelsea “escaped” earlier results 06:22 — The Alonso rant goes nuclear 😂 07:00 — Outcoached by Brentford’s manager 08:03 — The Estevão debate continues 08:51 — Worst possible defeat before the international break 09:23 — It’s not losing — it’s how Chelsea lost 10:12 — Breaking down the three-at-the-back problem 11:10 — Alonso’s in-game decisions under fire 11:42 — “You gotta go, bro!” 😭

  • S4 · E17
    Friday · 20 min

    Quadratic Predictions: Arsenal Flex, United Stress & Madrid Derby Madness

    The Five Aside boys are back with another round of fearless predictions—and apparently Q’s government name is now Quadratic. 😭 We break down Brentford vs Chelsea, Brighton vs Arsenal, City vs Sunderland, Spurs vs Villa, Fulham vs Man United, Bournemouth vs Liverpool, Barcelona’s latest five-goal agenda, and the Madrid Derby. Expect questionable scorelines, Arsenal confidence, United slander, Barcelona propaganda, FPL Haaland doubts, and a potential Five Aside watch party. Who’s cooking this weekend, and whose prediction is getting clipped for all the wrong reasons? Timestamps 00:00 — Welcome to Five Aside + the birth of “Quadratic” 01:40 — Brentford vs Chelsea: upset incoming? 03:35 — Brighton vs Arsenal: champions ready to flex 06:35 — Man City vs Sunderland + Haaland/FPL doubts 08:40 — Spurs vs Aston Villa: battle of the disappointments 10:20 — Fulham vs Man United: the United entertainment tour 12:40 — Bournemouth vs Liverpool + storyline predictions 14:55 — Sevilla vs Barcelona: the five-goal agenda 16:35 — Atlético Madrid vs Real Madrid: game of the weekend 18:20 — Madrid Derby watch-party talk + free-drink chaos 19:45 — Five Aside jerseys, socials & outro

  • S4 · E16
    Thursday · 1 hr 8 min

    Manchester United Need an Exorcism… and Real Madrid Might Be Next

    Manchester United are back in the group chat for all the wrong reasons. 😭 This week on Five Aside, the crew breaks down United’s chaos against Brighton, whether Bruno Fernandes is actually part of the solution or part of the problem, and why the club may need to finally abandon the “United Way.” Elsewhere, Liverpool keep getting results without convincing everyone, Arsenal’s youngsters get their flowers while one striker gets absolutely COOKED, and Real Madrid somehow inspire an actual threat involving kerosene. 🔥 Plus: is VAR fixing football or just giving us HD mistakes? And has the Premier League officially outgrown the Carabao Cup? Football analysis, agendas, slander and absolutely no emotional stability. Just another episode of Five Aside. ⚽️ Timestamps 00:00 — Cold Open: The agendas begin immediately 01:46 — Welcome to Five Aside 03:14 — Liverpool vs Spurs: Does playing well matter if you lose? 06:57 — What exactly is wrong with Liverpool? 10:12 — The Liverpool lineup debate gets spicy 11:33 — Arsenal vs Ipswich 12:08 — Arsenal’s youngsters are DIFFERENT 13:52 — Madueke gets his flowers 15:44 — Arsenal’s striker problem 17:36 — “Take the No. 14 off his back” 😭 19:54 — Manchester United vs Brighton 20:49 — United actually looked good… for a minute 23:07 — Shea Lacey deserves more minutes 23:20 — The Bruno Fernandes debate begins 24:15 — What is actually wrong with Manchester United? 25:03 — Why the “United Way” needs to die 27:38 — David accidentally delivers a TED Talk 28:08 — Can United ever move on from Bruno? 31:22 — Real Madrid enter the firing line 33:56 — “Real Madrid are lucky they don’t play in the Premier League” 35:00 — “THIS CLUB IS GOING TO BURN” 🔥 47:00 — VAR: What is even the point anymore? 53:47 — Bad decisions, agendas & football common sense 56:57 — Should referees actually face consequences? 58:00 — The VAR accountability debate continues 1:04:55 — Has the Premier League outgrown the Carabao Cup? 1:06:17 — Chelsea catch a completely unnecessary stray 1:07:08 — Five Aside announcements, jerseys & FPL banter

  • S4 · E15
    September 11 · 18 min

    MAN UTD TO SHOCK CITY?! 😳 | Our Premier League Predictions Get HEATED

    The Manchester Derby is here, and the Five Aside crew are already choosing violence. 😂 Can Manchester United survive City after a Thursday-night European game? Will Arsenal handle a physical trip to Sunderland? Can Liverpool’s shaky defence survive Fulham? And have Spurs become a team that simply tries hard and loses anyway? We go game-by-game with predictions for Manchester United vs Manchester City, Sunderland vs Arsenal, Liverpool vs Fulham, Tottenham vs Everton, Chelsea vs Hull City and Bournemouth vs Brentford, plus quick trips to Spain for Real Madrid vs Rayo Vallecano and Levante vs Barcelona. Expect questionable scorelines, Arsenal propaganda, United optimism, Spurs slander, Chelsea hate-watching and the usual Five Aside chaos. Drop your predictions in the comments — and tell us which one of ours is going to age horribly. 👀⚽ Timestamps 00:00 — Welcome to Five Aside + immediate Arsenal/United banter 00:44 — Manchester Derby preview: Man United vs Man City 01:15 — Arsenal fans supporting United?! 02:08 — If City win, make it 4–0 😂 03:00 — Can United handle Thursday–Sunday football? 04:35 — Man United squad depth & derby predictions 05:21 — Sunderland vs Arsenal 06:15 — Are people disrespecting Arsenal? 07:00 — Arsenal, set pieces & last season debate 08:00 — Can Sunderland make it physical? 08:48 — Sunderland vs Arsenal score predictions 09:05 — Liverpool vs Fulham 10:05 — Could Fulham actually get something at Anfield? 10:25 — Tottenham vs Everton 11:00 — Spurs problems + Marmoush debate 12:00 — “They’re a bad team that tries” 😭 12:40 — Everton upset predictions 13:05 — Real Madrid vs Rayo Vallecano 13:35 — Levante vs Barcelona 14:05 — Chelsea vs Hull City 14:40 — Are we getting another Chelsea disaster? 15:20 — Why Chelsea should respond 15:48 — Bournemouth vs Brentford 16:30 — Brentford are cooking 16:52 — Manchester Derby watch party + outro 17:35 — Bonus Ipswich slander & final United thoughts

  • S4 · E14
    September 10 · 56 min

    Champions League & Chill? Chelsea Can’t Relate 😭

    The Champions League is back — but somebody forgot to invite Chelsea. 😭 The Five Aside crew breaks down the opening European action, from Arsenal grinding out a big away win and Barcelona’s terrifying attack to Liverpool’s shaky start and Real Madrid doing what Real Madrid always do: somehow winning. Plus, we debate whether Erling Haaland is already entering GOAT goalscorer territory, make our way-too-early Champions League winner predictions, and enter the Ballon d’Or trenches over Harry Kane, Olise, Mbappé, Bruno, Messi and more. And yes, AK gets absolutely cooked for watching Carabao Cup football on a Champions League night. Timestamps 0:00 – Intro 0:27 – Intro / banter, Chelsea vs Leeds (Carabao Cup) reactions 3:16 – Chelsea's tactical issues under Alonso, midfield problems 16:00 – Real Madrid vs Inter Milan recap 17:32 – Liverpool vs Atletico Madrid recap 21:20 – Chelsea's poor away record vs big clubs 18:48 – Arsenal vs Napoli recap, Saka & Zubimendi praise 24:52 – Ødegaard discussion & comparisons to Rashford 31:35 – Barcelona vs PSG/other UCL games, Ferran Torres hat trick 32:03 – Yamal free kicks & goal-scoring development 33:30 – Champions League winner predictions 40:47 – Haaland's scoring numbers & GOAT scorer debate 42:27 – Comparing Haaland to Mbappé/Madrid fit 45:47 – Ballon d'Or nominees discussion 50:00 – Bruno Fernandes & Portugal World Cup debate 56:32 – Ronaldo's controversial 2013 Ballon d'Or win debate 59:22 – Wrap-up & outro

  • S4 · E13
    September 7 · 32 min

    Kai Havertz, Chelsea Tax Collector! Arsenal Fight Back to Sink the Blues

    Arsenal concede almost immediately… and still walk away with a 2–1 win over Chelsea. 😭 The Five Aside crew takes over Brewhouse in Atlanta for instant post-match reactions as Arsenal fans celebrate, Chelsea fans run through the excuses, and even the neutrals admit the Gunners looked like champions. Ødegaard gets flowers for a captain’s performance, Havertz comes back to haunt Chelsea AGAIN, and David Raya delivers when it matters. Then the banter spreads across the Premier League: Tottenham’s zero-point nightmare, Manchester United reactions, Liverpool under Iraola, and some dangerously early predictions for the Premier League, Champions League, FA Cup and PFA Player of the Year. Timestamps 0:00 – Arsenal 2-1 Chelsea reactions begin 0:59 – Atlanta Gooners: match recap, Saka & Ødegaard praise 2:22 – Chelsea fan's honest breakdown (wing-back issues) 3:32 – Heated Arsenal vs Chelsea debate 7:46 – Arsenal dominance debate continues 8:26 – Stamford Bridge chants & birthday shoutouts 8:47 – Tottenham fan: 0 points discussion 13:21 – Man United vs Everton reactions 15:16 – Predictions: EPL, UCL, FA Cup, PFA (Man U/Everton fans) 15:38 – Arsenal comeback story & Havertz praise 19:08 – Chelsea fan's calm take & Ødegaard Man of the Match 22:18 – Predictions from Chelsea fan 22:53 – Aston Villa fan reactions 24:52 – Liverpool fan on Ipswich win & predictions 28:57 – Neutral fan's dominant Arsenal take 30:41 – Yamal vs Saka debate 31:38 – Best player of the game & final predictions 32:01 – Five Aside outro/shoutouts

  • S4 · E12
    September 4 · 13 min

    Goals or Clean Sheets? Weekend Predictions

    The Five Aside crew is back with another round of predictions, and nobody is feeling safe. Arsenal vs Chelsea takes center stage as the boys debate whether Chelsea can turn the Emirates into a shootout—or whether Arsenal shut up shop after scoring first. Then it’s Everton vs Man United, Liverpool’s trip to Ipswich, City vs Coventry, Forest vs Spurs, plus Barcelona and Real Madrid predictions in La Liga. Bold scores, instant prediction changes, Spurs panic and plenty of ball knowledge. Timestamps 00:00 — Arsenal vs Chelsea takes center stage 01:15 — Jesus doubts & Chelsea’s approach 02:25 — Can Chelsea force Arsenal into a shootout? 03:45 — Arsenal vs Chelsea score predictions 05:20 — Everton vs Man United predictions 06:35 — Ipswich vs Liverpool predictions 07:30 — Man City vs Coventry: how many? 08:20 — Forest vs Spurs & De Zerbi pressure 10:15 — Can Spurs finally bounce back? 11:05 — Valencia vs Barcelona predictions 11:40 — Real Betis vs Real Madrid predictions 12:35 — Game to watch & Super Sunday plans 13:00 — Arsenal nerves and final thoughts

  • S4 · E11
    September 3 · 1 hr 6 min

    Winners, Losers & Transfer Window Abusers

    The transfer window is CLOSED — which means it’s time to hand out receipts. 😂 The Five Aside crew debates the biggest winners and losers of the window, from Chelsea somehow turning long contracts into a transfer-market cheat code to Manchester City assembling a midfield that belongs in a Bugatti showroom. Manchester United’s business gets put on trial, Tottenham may have bought an entirely new postcode, and Liverpool’s new-look attack still has plenty to prove. Then the debate heads to Spain: did Real Madrid actually have the best window? Has Barcelona finally found its missing piece? Can Atlético fans forgive Alvarez after the transfer drama? And, naturally, the crew finishes by arguing over the Premier League top five before giving Messi his flowers. Timestamps 0:00 – Intro banter (pre-show football chat) 1:22 – Show intro / welcome 2:50 – Transfer window winners & losers 48:01 – Revisiting preseason predictions / new top five 59:30 – Messi tribute segment 65:32 – Outro / sign-off

  • S4 · E10
    August 31 · 40 min

    Money Can’t Buy Spurs Happiness 💸😭 | AK & Dalu’s EPL Takes — Gameweek 2

    AK & Dalu are back with the Five Aside EPL Takes, and Gameweek 2 brought goals, chaos and plenty of ammunition for the agenda. They break down Man City’s latest statement performance and the excitement around Cherki, Liverpool dropping points again against Nottingham Forest, and Tottenham’s rough start continuing despite spending big. Chelsea and Brighton serve up a seven-goal thriller, Cole Palmer reminds everyone what a fully fit version of him can do, and Bruno Fernandes leads Manchester United’s five-goal demolition job. Plus: FPL pain, tactical debates, transfer talk, Spurs slander, and AK & Dalu hand out their Player, Underrated Player and Team of the Week. Timestamps 00:00 — Intro: “All I do is win!” & Gameweek 2 chaos 02:43 — Man City & the Cherki hype train 05:03 — City’s spending & transfer talk 06:18 — Why Cherki is bringing the fun back 07:42 — Liverpool held 2–2 by Nottingham Forest 09:06 — Should Liverpool fans be worried? 11:02 — Liverpool’s intensity, Gakpo & squad questions 13:52 — Tottenham: money can’t buy happiness 😭 14:30 — Newcastle expose Spurs 16:24 — Newcastle’s grit gets its flowers 17:59 — Chelsea 4–3 Brighton: absolute cinema 20:19 — Chelsea’s counterattack & Brighton’s threat 21:00 — Cole Palmer is BACK 23:28 — What’s changed tactically for Palmer? 25:24 — What actually makes a natural striker? 27:52 — João Pedro delivers again 28:28 — Can Chelsea genuinely compete for the title? 29:45 — Manchester United 5–2 Ipswich 30:31 — Ipswich chose bravery…and paid for it 32:34 — Bruno Fernandes masterclass 34:50 — Five Aside Fantasy League prizes 35:59 — Arsenal vs Aston Villa predictions 37:10 — Player of the Week debate 38:21 — Cherki, Bruno & Mccatee get their flowers 38:43 — Team of the Week 39:12 — Outro

  • #10
    August 25 · 15 min

    Three Point Lane! Chelsea Win, Palmer’s Back & London Is Blue

    Chelsea start with three points — and AK & Inii are already feeling dangerous. The lads break down a hard-fought London derby win, the early goal, Cole Palmer finding his rhythm, Romeo Lavia’s encouraging display, the midfield control issues without the preferred pairing, and why Robert Sánchez remains a major concern. Plus: Pedro’s 20-goal challenge, “JP Morgan”, new-signing first impressions, and why everyone might want to keep sleeping on Chelsea. Timestamps 00:00 – Chelsea fans can finally smile again 01:24 – Lineup reaction & pre-match panic 02:03 – Why Chelsea lose this game last season 03:02 – Lavia, Reece James & the makeshift midfield 04:18 – Is Cole Palmer finding his rhythm again? 05:16 – Sánchez has GOT to go?! 06:56 – Inii responds: three points are three points 07:26 – Lineup concerns & the lightning-fast opener 08:51 – The 20-goal challenge & attacking chemistry 09:32 – Why Fulham away is always a nightmare 10:45 – Rivals struggling & the value of three points 11:13 – Chelsea’s biggest problem: midfield control 12:14 – Why it’s too early to hit the panic button 13:09 – “The pressure is on Arsenal!” 13:38 – Standout players & debut performances 14:19 – Palmer combinations & “JP Morgan” 😂 14:38 – $200 bet won: stop sleeping on Chelsea 15:07 – Title talk?! Final thoughts & Up The Chels

  • S4 · E9
    August 24 · 27 min

    WE ARE SO BACK… SOME TEAMS AREN’T 😂 | AK & Dalu’s EPL Takes

    The Premier League is BACK — and some clubs clearly missed the memo. 😂 AK and Dalu break down the opening weekend, from Arsenal looking like the most complete squad in the league to Tottenham proving that money can’t buy everything. We get into City’s resilience, Brighton doing Brighton things, Manchester United’s worrying start under Carrick, and why fitness and mentality are already separating teams. Plus: #FreeMartinelli, Myles Lewis-Skelly hype, Sangaré’s impressive showing, some outrageous early-season predictions, and enough hot takes to get us cancelled before Matchweek 2. New season. Same Five Aside chaos. ⚽🔥 Timestamps 00:00 — New season, new studio & the Premier League is BACK 02:30 — Arsenal start strong: is this finally their year? 03:20 — Saliba, Lewis-Skelly & Arsenal’s new-look squad 05:00 — “The most complete squad in the league” 06:15 — Tottenham: money can’t buy everything 😂 07:00 — Spurs spending gets VERY suspicious 👀 07:40 — Why preseason fitness is already showing 08:00 — How far can Tottenham actually go? 09:15 — Brighton cook Aston Villa 10:00 — Brighton: Chelsea’s “academy away” 😂 11:30 — Man City survive Bournemouth 12:00 — Haaland means business again 13:00 — Can City challenge for the title? 14:30 — The Maresca slander begins 😭 16:00 — Manchester United: we need to talk 16:45 — The Bruno Fernandes problem 17:40 — Wild Top 4 prediction: Crystal Palace?! 19:00 — Why United struggle when they have to dominate 20:30 — Is Carrick really the man for Manchester United? 22:15 — #FreeMartinelli: what is Arsenal doing? 24:00 — Has Arsenal outgrown Martinelli? 25:30 — Player of the weekend: Sangaré 26:10 — Teams to watch: Brentford & Brighton 27:00 — Final takes & outro

  • S4 · E8
    August 23 · 17 min

    21 Assists & No Control: Bruno Mars United Again

    Manchester United are back… and so is the pain. 😭 After another frustrating performance, the Five Aside crew breaks down why United still struggle to create against teams sitting deep, whether Michael Carrick deserves patience, and why the club’s problems go far beyond the manager. Then comes the main event: Bruno Fernandes discourse. Is United’s reliance on Bruno’s goals and assists actually holding the team back? The crew debates his lack of control, the Ødegaard comparison, Tielemans’ struggles, and whether the Messi-Ronaldo era has completely cooked the way fans judge footballers. Plus: United’s ownership problem, the Amorim decision, Carrick Out shouts already, and why rebuilding properly might mean accepting some serious suffering first. Timestamps 00:00 — The Manchester United hate-watch begins 00:55 — Why United dominate possession but create nothing 01:30 — Is Bruno only elite in transition? 02:15 — Does United have to build everything around Bruno? 03:00 — Carrick, the owners & United’s endless cycle 05:30 — David joins: United still can’t defend crosses 06:10 — Carrick’s questionable lineup decisions 06:45 — Tielemans and United’s midfield system 07:25 — United’s midfield lacks physicality 08:05 — Is it already time for “Carrick Out”? 08:30 — Why United might need to be bad before getting good 09:20 — United fans, patience & chasing instant results 10:00 — Did United make a huge mistake sacking Amorim? 10:35 — Does United need to move on from Bruno Fernandes? 11:00 — Bruno as United’s Aubameyang 11:45 — The biggest problem with Bruno’s game 12:20 — Are goals & assists ruining football analysis? 13:30 — The Ronaldo/Juventus comparison 14:20 — Did Messi & Ronaldo break our expectations? 15:05 — Modern Ballon d’Or debates beyond G/A 15:35 — Tielemans, Palhinha & United’s new midfield 16:15 — Ødegaard vs Bruno: control vs chaos 17:00 — Why Carrick deserves a genuine chance 18:00 — Final thoughts & Five Aside sign-off

  • S4 · E7
    August 21 · 9 min

    Game Week Won Already? 😂 EPL Predictions, Upsets & 3-Point Audacity

    The Premier League is BACK, which means the Five Aside prediction table is officially open — and the agendas have started immediately. 😂 The boys predict EPL Game Week 1, with 1 point for the correct result and 3 points for the exact score. Arsenal get plenty of love against Coventry, United’s new firepower gets backed against Hull, Spurs are tipped to start flying — while some absolutely shameless upset predictions enter the chat. Then it’s Newcastle vs Liverpool, Chelsea’s Monday-night trip to Fulham, City vs Bournemouth and more. Plus, we introduce the Five Aside FPL league, tease the upcoming jersey/merch drop and lay down predictions that will either look genius or absolutely horrific by Monday. Screenshot the receipts. We’re keeping score all season. ⚽😂 Timestamps 00:00 — Cold Open: Chelsea 1-1?! 00:17 — Welcome to Five Aside: Prediction competition rules 00:55 — Arsenal vs Coventry predictions 01:35 — Hull City vs Manchester United 02:08 — Everton vs Crystal Palace 02:40 — Brentford vs Tottenham 03:10 — Dortmund vs Bayern predictions 03:35 — Brighton vs Aston Villa 04:35 — Newcastle vs Liverpool 05:35 — Fulham vs Chelsea: Monday FC 😂 06:35 — Manchester City vs Bournemouth 07:20 — Five Aside FPL league announcement 07:40 — Five Aside merch & watch-along tease 08:00 — Football is BACK!

  • S4 · E6
    August 20 · 1 hr 14 min

    2026/2027 Season Preview- Predictions, Pings & Pure Madness

    The boys are finally back together — and the new season hasn’t even properly kicked off before the agendas start flying. 😂 We lock in our 2026/27 Premier League predictions, debate whether Arsenal can defend their crown, hear the Chelsea title propaganda, rank the best transfer windows, and break down Arsenal and Manchester United’s latest moves. Then everything goes completely left: Is Joao Pedro really an R9 regen? Can he break Chelsea’s infamous No. 9 curse? And somehow that turns into an all-out Joao Pedro vs Gabriel Jesus war. Plus: Baleba to United, Arsenal building the Avengers of Premier League defences, Spurs’ transfer business, bold season expectations and plenty of takes that will absolutely come back to haunt us. New season. Same Five Aside chaos. ⚽🔥 Timestamps 0:00 Intro / banter 1:01 Premier League predictions 7:18 Best transfer window debate 18:41 Joao Pedro / Ronaldo "regen" debate 28:29 Chelsea's number 9 curse 34:35 Gabriel Jesus vs Joao Pedro argument 41:34 Arsenal defense (Konsa signing) 48:16 Man United's Baleba signing 66:37 Season expectations (per team) 70:32 Final thoughts / sign-off

  • S4 · E5
    August 17 · 1 hr 7 min

    Gunner Be a Long Season! Arsenal Flex, Chelsea Dream & City Catch Strays

    The Premier League is almost back, and the agendas are already in mid-season form. Arsenal celebrate another statement performance over Man City, while AK explains why Chelsea’s once-a-week schedule could turn them into genuine title contenders. Dalu and AK put the bias on the table and make their Premier League predictions, debate whether Arsenal are actually dominant enough to retain the crown, assess Chelsea’s rebuild, question City and United, and take the prediction tour across Europe. Expect bold calls, questionable logic and enough receipts to ruin friendships by May. Timestamps 0:00 – Intro & 5ASIDE theme song 0:21 – Arsenal 3-0 Man City Community Shield recap 5:09 – Skelly, Ødegaard, Tzolis standout performances 10:14 – Will Chelsea actually win the Premier League? 12:13 – Premier League title predictions (top four & more) 33:34 – Top scorer predictions & Osimhen-to-Arsenal talk 39:42 – La Liga predictions 46:20 – Serie A predictions 46:50 – Can this Real Madrid team match Mourinho's 2011-12 side? 53:26 – Should Chelsea sell Enzo Fernández to Man City? 56:18 – Separating the man from the art (Enzo debate continues) 65:26 – Joao Pedro vs. Ronaldo de Lima (R9) hot take 66:03 – Outro & sign-off

  • S4 · E4
    August 13 · 35 min

    Trebles, Tactics & Terrorball: Is Luis Enrique Already in the GOAT Debate?

    The boys are back and the football banter is already in midseason form. Luis Enrique wants more Champions Leagues, but has he done enough to sit with Pep, Mourinho, Fergie and Ancelotti? Roberto Martinez catches another round of fraud-watch allegations, Xavi takes on the Netherlands job, and the lads make some ruthless Start, Bench or Drop calls featuring Henry, Ronaldinho, Hazard, Iniesta, KDB, Modrić, Van Dijk, Ramos and John Terry. Plus: Chelsea and Arsenal transfer talk, the Enzo price tag, Kelly’s future, Pedro Neto links, Madueke slander and the universal truth that Arsenal will get bantered no matter what they do. Proper Five Aside chaos. Timestamps 00:00 — Welcome Back + Is Preseason Football Dead? 01:00 — Super Cup Apathy & Football Fatigue 03:00 — Garnacho’s Awkward Aura Farming 04:40 — Luis Enrique Wants a Champions League Three-Peat 06:00 — Is Luis Enrique Already an All-Time Great Manager? 09:40 — Roberto Martinez: Football’s King of Failing Upwards? 12:00 — Did Martinez Waste Belgium’s Golden Generation? 13:30 — Brazil, Belgium & World Cup Underachievement 15:00 — Are Roberto Martinez’s Stats Actually Misleading? 16:30 — Xavi Takes Over the Netherlands 18:30 — Can Xavi Actually Coach at the Elite Level? 21:00 — Start, Bench or Drop: Henry, Ronaldinho & Hazard 22:45 — Start, Bench or Drop: Iniesta, KDB & Modrić 25:00 — Start, Bench or Drop: John Terry, Ramos & Van Dijk 26:30 — Is Sergio Ramos Overrated Defensively? 28:40 — Kelly to Chelsea? Arsenal Transfer Talk 30:30 — Enzo to Man City for £120M?! 31:40 — Balogun, Pedro Neto & Arsenal Shopping at Chelsea Again 32:45 — Madueke Slander & Preseason Overreactions 34:15 — Why Arsenal Will ALWAYS Get Bantered 35:00 — Outro

  • S4 · E3
    August 10 · 56 min

    Rodri or Not, Here Barça Come! 😭 | Mourinho’s Madrid, Arsenal’s LW Problem & Transfer Madness

    The transfer window has officially lost the plot. The Five Aside crew breaks down Rodri’s potential Barcelona move, why Real Madrid may have fumbled the deal, and whether he’s actually the missing piece Barça need. Then things get heated over José Mourinho: is the Special One still special enough to bring La Liga back to Madrid, or are we living off nostalgia? Plus, Arsenal’s search for a winger sparks a £140M debate, Liverpool’s transfer strategy gets questioned, Ferran Torres gets told to pipe down, Julián Álvarez’s price tag gets put on trial, and somehow we end up discussing what a 19-year-old should do with £140 million. Football. Transfers. Financial irresponsibility. Five Aside is back. Timestamps 00:00 — Welcome Back + Five Aside Merch & Tournament Tease 01:50 — Rodri to Barcelona: The Transfer Saga Begins 03:00 — Did Real Madrid Fumble Rodri? 05:00 — Does Rodri Actually Start for Barcelona? 06:30 — Man City Without Rodri: End of an Era? 08:20 — Haaland to Real Madrid Next? 09:20 — £140M at 19: What Are You Buying?! 😂 12:00 — Real Madrid’s Young Superstar Gamble 13:00 — Can Mourinho Develop Young Players? 16:00 — How Rodri Fits Hansi Flick’s Barcelona 17:20 — Barça vs Madrid: Who Has the Bragging Rights? 18:00 — Can Mourinho Win La Liga? The Debate Gets HEATED 21:00 — Has Mourinho Been Properly Backed? 24:00 — “Mourinho Doesn’t Have the Sauce Anymore” 25:00 — Arsenal Enter the Chat 26:00 — Liverpool’s Transfer Strategy Makes No Sense? 27:30 — £140M for Barcola?! Transfer Market Gone Mad 28:20 — Kenan Yildiz to Arsenal? 29:20 — Can Arsenal Actually Win the Champions League? 31:00 — Arsenal’s Left-Wing Problem 32:30 — New Signings & Preseason Takes 33:30 — Ferran Torres Wants His Respect 35:00 — World Cup Winner or Getting Too Big for His Boots? 36:30 — Should Barcelona Just Pay Ferran? 37:30 — Julián Álvarez: Barcelona, Arsenal or Stay Put? 38:00 — How Much Is Álvarez REALLY Worth? 39:00 — Álvarez vs Agüero… and Somehow Garnacho 😭 41:00 — The Striker Debate Continues

  • S4 · E2
    August 7 · 1 hr 11 min

    Bruno Give me rice: Image Rights, Rashford Flights & Chelsea's Youth Hostel

    Arsenal finally land Bruno Guimarães... and suddenly Dalu's biggest Premier League villain becomes his favourite midfielder. 😅 This week the Five Aside crew dive into Arsenal's midfield makeover, Vinícius Jr.'s never-ending contract saga, Rashford's uncertain Manchester United future, Chelsea's endless collection of wonderkids, Saudi money vs football ambition, and a heated debate over Victor Osimhen, wages, and whether Premier League clubs still undervalue African strikers. As always, plenty of football takes, plenty of chaos, and absolutely zero agreements. 🎙️ Topics include: Arsenal sign Bruno Guimarães Vinícius Jr. contract & image rights Rashford's United future Chelsea's transfer strategy Are Saudi clubs changing football forever? Osimhen, wages & African striker bias Timestamps 0:00 – Intro & welcome 0:19 – Meet the co-hosts 1:18 – Arsenal complete Bruno Guimarães transfer 3:53 – The Vinicius Jr. to Real Madrid saga 6:47 – Marcus Rashford's uncertain Man United future 8:48 – Man United's transfer business breakdown 16:05 – Man United's ideal midfield three 18:36 – Chelsea's rocky preseason 26:26 – Why players are chasing Saudi League money 51:13 – Is "Prem proven" really a thing? 70:45 – Wrap-up & outro

  • S4 · E1
    August 5 · 1 hr 8 min

    Transfer Window Shopping & FIFA's Price Tag

    The Five Aside boys are BACK with a brand-new season, a fresh studio, and plenty of football banter! This week they dive into the biggest football talking point of the summer: FIFA's controversial private investment proposal. Is football evolving, or is the beautiful game being sold to the highest bidder? The lads debate Gianni Infantino, transparency, UEFA's response, and what private investors could really mean for fans. Then it's onto the transfer window as Chelsea continue their spending spree, Arsenal's pursuit of Vinícius Jr., Morgan Rogers, squad building, Premier League ambitions, and plenty of Chelsea vs Arsenal banter. Expect laughs, hot takes, Nollywood analogies, and classic Five Aside chaos. Timestamps 0:00 – Intro & Catching Up 3:03 – FIFA Privatization Debate 19:29 – Nigerian Movie Tangent 22:33 – Benefits of Private Investment 24:54 – Transfer News Talk 43:56 – Rashford Back to Man United? 52:39 – Saudi League Money Debate 65:01 – Outro & Season Preview

  • S3 · E103
    July 24 · 43 min

    World Cup Winners & Sinners | Our Best XI Has EVERYONE Arguing! 🏆🔥

    The World Cup is over... and football withdrawal has officially kicked in. 😭⚽ The lads reunite to relive the tournament, share what they'll miss most, and hand out the official Five Aside World Cup Awards. From MVP and Best Young Player to Worst Fans, Biggest Disappointment and our Team of the Tournament, expect plenty of debate, banter and a few controversial picks. Did Bellingham deserve to miss out? Is Messi still untouchable? Were Portugal the biggest flop? And was Cape Verde really the surprise story of the tournament? Let us know your own awards and Best XI in the comments! Timestamps 00:00 – World Cup withdrawal is real 02:00 – Fan Fest memories & favourite World Cup moments 06:00 – The legendary Five Aside group chat 08:00 – Five Aside World Cup Awards begin 08:45 – Best Goalkeeper debate 11:45 – Full defensive line selections 16:30 – Midfield arguments (Rodri, Fabian Ruiz & more) 22:00 – CAM controversy: Bellingham vs Olise 25:30 – Front three revealed 28:15 – MVP & Best Young Player 30:00 – Most Disappointing Player 30:45 – Best Fans & Worst Fans 34:30 – Surprise Team & Biggest Disappointment 40:30 – Best Jersey 41:30 – Final World Cup Awards recap & outro

Showing 1–20 of 35 episodes