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Zero Effort

Coline & Alex

This is the podcast we never had and probably the reason why one of us still doesn’t speak German and the other one never really learned French. We’re a German–French duo who spend a lot of time talking about words. Not to teach vocabulary, but to understand what’s actually going on underneath.

This is not a language course.

And definitely not a “how to behave” guide.

It’s about:

why things feel different in Germany and France
what we secretly admire (and don’t understand) about each others culture
work culture, daily life, and unspoken rules
and laughing at ourselves instead of taking everything too seriously

If you’re living between cultures, working in Germany, curious about France, or just enjoy honest conversations with a bit of humor and self-irony — you’re in the right place.

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S2 · E32
Monday · 37 min
#32 - The One Where We Talk About French Laws
We are running a bit late again, but we are back! We kick off this episode by talking about the German national holiday on the 3rd of October (Tag der Deutschen Einheit). Coline shares her frustration about the holiday falling on a weekend, which means all supermarkets are closed and her only option for getting eggs was ordering through Wolt. Then, Coline takes the lead with a massive list of French laws that completely shock Alex, proving that France and Germany operate very differently: DNA Tests & Paternity: Why ordering an at-home DNA ancestry kit (like MyHeritage) in France can get you a €3,750 fine, and why secret paternity tests are strictly banned. Food Waste & Dumpster Diving: France’s brilliant 2016 law forcing supermarkets to donate unsold food to charities, compared to Germany where taking food from a supermarket dumpster is considered stealing. Religion & The State (Laïcité): The strict French ban on religious symbols in public schools and official statistics, which completely contrasts with the German system of church taxes and religion classes in public schools. Public Pools & Speedos: Why French municipal pools legally ban loose board shorts and force men to wear tight Speedo-style trunks. Workplace Rules: France's "right to disconnect" from work emails after hours, the "Journée de solidarité" (working one unpaid day a year to fund elderly care), and the surprising law that legally protects your right to drink wine and beer at the office! Weird & Wonderful Decrees: The ability to legally marry a dead person (with presidential approval), writing valid bank checks on napkins or toilet paper, the strict 4-ingredient law protecting the traditional French baguette, and the mandatory 40% French music quota for radio stations. Tune in to hear Alex’s reactions, and make sure to subscribe so you don't miss next week’s episode where Alex brings a list of crazy German laws! Follow us for more instagram.com/hellocoline instagram.com/alex.von.mydealz tiktok.com/@hellooco tiktok.com/@alex.von.mydealz Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S2 · E31
September 28 · 37 min
#31 - The One Where We Talk About Bundesländer
Welcome back! We are a bit late this week due to a very busy September, but a huge shoutout to our listener Lily for checking in on us! This week, Coline prepared a deep dive into a concept that is completely mind-boggling to French people: the German Bundesländer (Federal States). While France operates as a highly centralized nation with 18 regions, Germany is a federation of 16 independent states and the differences between them are massive! We break down the biggest cultural and legal clashes you will experience when crossing state lines in Germany: Opening Hours & Spätis: Why Berlin lets you shop 24/7, while Bavaria strictly shuts down all retail stores at 8 PM. The Holiday Imbalance: Why working in Munich gives you 3 to 4 more paid public holidays per year than working in Berlin, and the crazy story of Augsburg's exclusive Peace Festival on August 8th. The Education Chaos: Why the German school system is controlled locally rather than nationally, leading to massive differences in the Abitur. We discuss why Saxony and Bavaria rank at the top, while Berlin and Bremen are criticized for the "cheap baccalaureate". Summer Vacation Rules: Why Bavarian schools always start their summer break last (hint: it dates back to kids needing to help with the farming harvest). Independent Police Forces: The extreme contrast between Berlin's liberal laws (maximum 48 hours detention) and Bavaria's strict regulations (including keeping the old green uniforms, up to 30-day preventive detention, and phone spyware authorization). The Election Mess: How having state elections scattered throughout the year completely paralyzes national politics. Plus, Alex gives a quick history lesson on how Germany went from 300 independent mini-states in the Holy Roman Empire around the year 1800 down to the 16 federal states we know today. Let us know in the comments if your country is highly centralized like France or a federal patchwork like Germany! Follow us for more instagram.com/hellocoline instagram.com/alex.von.mydealz tiktok.com/@hellooco tiktok.com/@alex.von.mydealz Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S2 · E30
September 21 · 35 min
#30 - The One Where We Talk About Oktoberfest
We are running a bit late this Monday, but for good reason! Coline is back from a whirlwind trip through London and Paris, and she has some strong opinions on how the British and French capitals compare to Berlin. From London’s luxurious late-night shopping hours (why does Germany close everything so early?!) to a debate over which city has better food, friendlier people, and better nightlife, Coline shares her ultimate travel verdict. Plus, she reveals a surprising story about getting recognized by a podcast fan at a Shake Shack in London! 🍔 In the second half of the episode, we shift our focus from European capitals to the biggest festival in the world: the German Oktoberfest. 🍻 Alex tests Coline’s knowledge on the festival, and the facts might surprise you: 👑 The Origin Story: Why Oktoberfest was never originally about beer, but rather a massive 1810 royal wedding reception for Crown Prince Ludwig and Princess Therese. 🗓️ Septemberfest? Why a festival named "Oktoberfest" actually takes place in September. 💰 The Economics of Beer: We break down the jaw-dropping stats of the modern Wiesn. From waiters making €5,000 in two weeks, to the crazy €16 price tag for a single Maß (liter) of beer. ⛺ Massive Scale: A look at the 12,000-person beer tents and the staggering 8 million liters of beer consumed in just 16 days. ⚠️ A Serious Warning: Coline shares a very important safety warning about a dangerous trend involving needle-spiking at European festivals and large events. Have you ever been to Oktoberfest? Do you agree with Coline’s London vs. Paris ranking? Let us know in the comments, and we will be back on schedule next week! 🥨🍺🎡 Follow us for more instagram.com/hellocoline instagram.com/alex.von.mydealz tiktok.com/@hellooco tiktok.com/@alex.von.mydealz Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S2 · E29
September 14 · 32 min
#29 - The One Where We Stop Apologizing for Our Accents
This week, we are kicking off episode 29 with Alex forgetting what he wanted to say, Coline claiming she has an excellent memory, and a scientific discussion that neither of us is qualified to lead. Apparently, Coline can see German words in her brain (Spoiler Alert: the endings are just a little blurry!) Then, we get into a question we keep receiving: why do a French person and a German person speak English together? Neither of us speaks the other’s language, and Latin felt like too much effort. From English lessons at school to awkward office conversations, we discuss accents, confidence, and how much of your personality gets lost in translation: 🇫🇷 Own Your French Accent: Coline responds to comments about her English and explains why she stopped pretending to understand everything in international meetings. Her priority now? More vocabulary, less worrying about sounding perfect. 🇬🇧 Oxford English vs. Bavarian Miami: Alex remembers his very British English lessons and shares his thoughts on Germans trying a little too hard to sound American. “You’re not from Miami. You’re from Bavaria.” 🗣️ Please Don’t Speak French to Me: We encourage everyone to practise languages—until Coline immediately admits she hates it when Alex speaks French. We discuss why switching languages with someone you know can feel strangely personal. 🎭 Am I Funnier in My Own Language? The frustration of jokes you can’t translate, not having the words to express yourself, and realizing your international friends might never know the full version of you. Alex, naturally, claims he’s hilarious in both languages. 💭 Dreams in French, Nightmares in German: Alex recalls the first time he started dreaming in English during a school trip to the US. Coline has a slightly different explanation for where German fits into her dreams. 🎩 “Chapeau” vs. “LOL”: Coline calls Alex’s French vocabulary old-fashioned, then reveals she has recently started saying “LOL.” She also discovers “having beef”—and now has another reason to start an argument. 🔌 My Phone Is… Branching? A search for the English equivalent of “culotté” takes a detour through charging phones, French underwear, and whether translation technology will ever let Alex discover how funny Coline really is. Our message for the week: speak English, own your accent, and don’t let the fear of making mistakes stop you. If we waited for perfect English, this podcast would never exist! Don’t forget to review the podcast, leave us 5 stars, and tell us: do you feel like a different person when you switch languages and which language do you dream in? 🥖🗣️💭 Follow us for more instagram.com/hellocoline instagram.com/alex.von.mydealz tiktok.com/@hellooco tiktok.com/@alex.von.mydealz Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S2 · E28
September 7 · 34 min
#28 - The One Where We Come Back and Still Don’t Speak German
We’re back! This week, we are kicking off episode 28 and Season 2 with Berlin’s rainy weather, Christmas sweets already taking over the supermarkets, and Coline’s hatred of cinnamon. After a month-long summer break, we’re happy to be back and genuinely touched that you actually missed us. Did we prepare anything? Of course not. It’s still Zero Effort! We catch up on our holidays in Italy and Spain, mixing up languages at supermarket checkouts, and why Alex used to think Lake Garda was exclusively reserved for his parents’ generation. We also celebrate reaching 50,000 and 70,000 followers on Instagram. Thank you for being here! Then, we dive into your questions about life in Berlin, language struggles, and the differences between France and Germany: 🛒 Fluent in Supermarket German: Coline’s essential vocabulary: “Mit Karte, bitte” and “Nein, danke.” Plus, the very Berlin welcome she received at Rewe after a month in Italy. 🏕️ Germans & Camping: Caravans, French mobile homes, Dutch holiday stereotypes, and our debate about whether camping is actually a cheap holiday. 🇩🇪 Living in Berlin Without German: We share our experiences of working and getting by in English—and why everyone switching to English can make practising German surprisingly difficult. 🤝 Making Friends & Fitting In: Is finding an international circle the same as feeling integrated? We talk about German friendships, French office conversations, and being the person who can’t follow what everyone else is saying. 🗣️ Our Own Version of English: From “theater” versus “Kino” to “Are you gaming?”, we discuss the English that makes perfect sense to us—and sometimes confuses our American friend. 🎒 French vs. German School Life: We compare early starts, long school days, Wednesdays off, and occasional Saturday classes, before getting into university, gap years, and when we started working. We also talk about the possibility of video podcasts, Alex’s reluctance to post Instagram stories, and the return of Coline’s favorite response after he explains something: “Cool your life.” Don’t forget to review the podcast, leave us 5 stars, and tell us about your own experiences living abroad or send us a question for a future episode! 🥖🇩🇪🎙️ Follow us for more instagram.com/hellocoline instagram.com/alex.von.mydealz tiktok.com/@hellooco tiktok.com/@alex.von.mydealz Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S1 · E27
July 27 · 43 min
#27 - The One Where We Talk About Superstitions
This week, we are kicking off episode 27 with some German weather small talk, Coline’s impressive German fluency ("Ich bin müde"), and the struggle of remembering what we actually already talked about in previous episodes! We start by looking at international McDonald’s menus during the World Cup (from the French Croque McDo to Oktoberfest sausage burgers), our thoughts on the Tour de France (and collecting free sponsor swag as kids), and the extreme heatwaves hitting France. We also reveal how our podcast and videos originally started during our lunch breaks including Coline’s favorite comeback phrase: "Cool ta vie, tu veux un cookie?" Then, we jump into a massive list of French and German superstitions, customs, and beliefs about good and bad luck: 🪜 Scaffolding & Ladders: Why Coline touches her head whenever walking under construction sites, and why walking under ladders breaks holy symbols. 🥖 Bread & Table Etiquette: The medieval origin of placing baguettes upside down (bread reserved for the executioner) and why 13 people at a dinner table is considered a curse. 🍷 Eye Contact & Cheers: Why missing eye contact during a toast gives you 7 years of bad luck in love (and its historical link to avoiding poisoned drinks). 🔪 Knives vs. Shoes: Why gifting a knife in France requires paying a coin in exchange, and the German belief that buying a partner shoes means they'll run away. 💩 Dog Poop & Salt Slings: Stepping in dog poop with your left foot for good luck, and throwing salt over your left shoulder to erase bad luck. 🐱 Black Cats & Sneeze Predictions: The rules of black cats crossing your path, plus the bizarre belief that a cat sneezing near a bride guarantees a happy marriage. 🎂 The Birthday & Good Luck Curses: Why wishing someone a early birthday is forbidden, and why saying "Merde" instead of "Good Luck" is necessary before big events in France. Don't forget to review the podcast, leave us 5 stars, and share your country's strangest superstitions in the comments! 🥖🥂🔮 Follow us for more instagram.com/hellocoline instagram.com/alex.von.mydealz tiktok.com/@hellooco tiktok.com/@alex.von.mydealz Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S2 · E26
July 20 · 41 min
#26 - The One Where We Tell You Why We Talk In English
In this episode, we address a question we get all the time: Why do a German and a French person record their podcast in English? We explain our reasoning, but we also take this opportunity to look at how our native languages shape how we communicate in English—and the hilarious direct translations that sneak in. We break down 4 distinct linguistic habits and colloquialisms that French people (and sometimes Germans) use that don't quite translate perfectly: 🫀 "By Heart" (Par cœur): The beautiful historical origin of this phrase, how it connects to ancient beliefs about the heart being the seat of memory, and why the German version (Auswendig lernen) is just a bit less poetic. 🤢 "Vomite" (Vomir): Why Coline uses a highly clinical medical term when she means she "threw up," and how Alex uses the German equivalent ("Ich könnte kotzen") to express extreme annoyance rather than actual physical sickness. 🧐 "Si" vs. "Doch": The ultimate linguistic tool to contradict a negative question. We realize that the French "Si" and the German "Doch" are exactly the same concept—something English completely lacks! 🗣️ "Quoi" and "Hein": How the French end almost every sentence with random words or sounds just for emphasis, and how Germans do the exact same thing regionally with words like "oder wat" or "gell". Don't forget to subscribe, leave us a 5-star review, and check out our Instagram accounts for new videos every day🥖 Follow us for more instagram.com/hellocoline instagram.com/alex.von.mydealz tiktok.com/@hellooco tiktok.com/@alex.von.mydealz Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S1 · E25
July 13 · 36 min
#25 - The One Where We Talk About Weddings
Welcome back to another chaotic Monday episode! This week, Coline is back from her trip, and we are kicking off with the most important update: summer weather, fluctuating skin tones, and exactly why Alex spends his sunny days in a dark basement studio. ☀️🕶️ We then dive into Coline's recent observations from Italy, which sparked a massive debate about international store names. Why do German brands like DM and MediaMarkt exist abroad, but under completely different names? (And why does France seemingly have neither?) We also unpack the cultural trauma of finding Apfelstrudel in an Italian supermarket when all you wanted was fresh local food, and why coming back to Germany means facing the ultimate craving: Spätzle. 🍝🛒 Finally, we transition into our main topic for the day: Summer Wedding Season. Since it's peak marriage season, we are diving deep into some rather strange traditions and wedding trivia, including: 🇩🇪 The "Right Hand" Ring Rule: Why Germans wear their wedding bands on a different hand compared to France and the rest of the world. 🏛️ Standesamt vs. Church: Why a church wedding in Germany holds zero legal power and you have to get the bureaucracy out of the way first. 🔊 The Autokorso: The loud, honking car convoy tradition that police graciously tolerate on weekends. 🪙 Brautschuhe mit Pfennigen: The old superstition of brides paying for their shoes entirely in copper cents. 💍 The Wedding Cake Trap: A look into a typical German wedding timeline, the afternoon cake tradition, and the psychological meaning behind whose hand is on top when cutting the cake. 🎈 EVG/EVJF vs. JGA: A breakdown of Bachelor and Bachelorette parties, the public humiliation factor, and a legendary rural French tradition that literally translates to "burying your single life" in a coffin. Do you agree with the right-hand ring rule? Have you ever witnessed a bride-kidnapping or a tree-sawing contest? Let us know your thoughts and your own country's wedding traditions in the comments! Don't forget to subscribe, leave us a 5-star review, and check out Coline's tan on Instagram! 🥖 Follow us for more instagram.com/hellocoline instagram.com/alex.von.mydealz tiktok.com/@hellooco tiktok.com/@alex.von.mydealz Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S1 · E24
July 6 · 31 min
#24 - The One Where Coline Shares 10 Things She Hates About Germany
After sharing the things she loves about Germany in a previous episode, Coline is holding nothing back today! In Episode 24, we dive into the 10 Things Coline Hates (Or Strongly Dislikes) About Germany. Before getting into the list, Alex and Coline warm up by comparing school grading scales around the globe. Did you know that the letter E doesn't exist in US grading so it won't get confused with "Excellent"? Or that Finland grades from 4 to 10 to encourage student progress, while China uses a 100-point scale? Then, the main debate begins. From limited supermarket selections to the reality of German service culture, Coline breaks down her biggest everyday frustrations after six years of living in Germany, while Alex tries to defend (or completely agrees with) his home country. Let us know in the comments: what are your top three things you love or hate about living in Germany or France? Follow us for more instagram.com/hellocoline instagram.com/alex.von.mydealz tiktok.com/@hellooco tiktok.com/@alex.von.mydealz Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S1 · E23
June 29 · 35 min
#23 - The One Where We Talk About German Hobbies
Welcome to Episode 23! This week, we are diving deep into the fascinating, highly structured, and sometimes bizarre world of German hobbies. Alex kicks things off by showing Coline an actual German Instagram account (GermanBradCutter) dedicated entirely to cutting the perfect 11-millimeter slice of bread. This perfectly segues into the realization that German bread culture is so serious, it's literally protected as a UNESCO Intangible Cultural Heritage (with over 3,200 types of bread and 10,000 master bakeries). But the cultural shocks don't stop at the bakery. We unpack the intense commitment required to join a traditional German Verein (club). From the Schützenverein (Marksman Club), where the ultimate prize is buying beer for the whole town, to the legendary Schrebergarten. Coline is absolutely horrified to learn that renting a relaxing garden plot in Germany comes with a massive federal rulebook dictating exact fence heights, plant distances, and a strictly enforced midday silence. Words and concepts you’ll learn (and actually remember): 🇩🇪 Der Schrebergarten (An allotment garden where Germans go to relax... by strictly following federal rules, measuring their 1.25m fences, and adhering to the 33.3% land-use law). 🇩🇪 Die Mittagsruhe (The sacred midday quiet time between 1:00 PM and 3:00 PM where absolutely no noise is allowed). 🇩🇪 Der Schützenkönig (The "Shooting King" of the local marksman club, who gets a wooden target on their house and the expensive honor of buying the whole club beer). 🇩🇪 Die Modelleisenbahn (The classic German basement empire of miniature model trains, mostly built in the 1:87 "H0" scale). 🇩🇪 Wanderlust (The deep German desire to go hiking on Sundays, usually equipped with matching Jack Wolfskin windbreakers). 🇩🇪 Der Verein (A registered club. You need exactly 7 people to start one, and joining means a serious life commitment, not just a casual subscription). Also: Why the younger German generation has swapped model trains for hyper-realistic farming and train simulator video games, the difference between French meals and the pragmatic German Abendbrot, and our brilliant business plan to launch a Franco-German "Apéro & Baguette Cutting" club. New episode every Monday! Please consider leaving a 5-star review, subscribing so you never miss an episode, and dropping your favorite weird hobby in the comments. 🥖🎯 Follow us for more instagram.com/hellocoline instagram.com/alex.von.mydealz tiktok.com/@hellooco tiktok.com/@alex.von.mydealz Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S1 · E22
June 22 · 35 min
#22 - The One Where Coline Shares Her Favourite Things About Germany
Berlin has suddenly hit 30 degrees, the air is sticky, and Alex and Colline are dealing with the heat by doing what Germans do best: talking about the weather. 🥵 Welcome to Episode 22! Before we get into the main topic, Coline triggers some major high school PTSD by talking about the infamous French Baccalauréat. But then, we get to the main event. After 21 episodes of complaining, Colline has prepared the ultimate list: 10 Things A French Person Absolutely Loves About Germany. Alex is ready for some Balsam für die Seele (balm for the soul) as Colline praises the wide German streets, the magic of the Biergarten, and why Apfelschorle is the greatest German invention of all time. We also dive into the German obsession with the "dm" drugstore (where you can print photos and get free baby diapers!), the concept of Spätis, and why Colline feels much safer walking in Berlin at night than in Paris. Plus, we tackle the wild world of German sauna rules and the famous FKK (Freikörperkultur) nude culture! Words and concepts you’ll learn (and actually remember): 🇫🇷 Le Baccalauréat (Le Bac) (The French high school exit exam). 🇩🇪 FKK / Freikörperkultur (Free body culture. A clothing-optional lifestyle that originated in East Germany so everyone could be socially equal while naked). 🇩🇪 Die Apfelschorle (Apple juice mixed with sparkling water which Coline officially declares the best thing Germany has ever created). 🇩🇪 Der Späti (Berlin’s late-night convenience stores that often function as neighborhood hangout spots and mini beer gardens). 🇩🇪 Balsam für die Seele ("Balm for the soul" the exact feeling Alex gets finally hearing Coline compliment his country). Also: Why French doctors have to write actual prescriptions for Vitamin C, why Germans instantly occupy every single square inch of sunlight the moment spring arrives. New episode every Monday! Please consider leaving a 5-star review, subscribe so you don't miss next week's brutal follow-up ("Things Coline Hates About Germany"), and let us know in the comments: what is your favorite thing about living in Germany? Follow us for more instagram.com/hellocoline instagram.com/alex.von.mydealz tiktok.com/@hellooco tiktok.com/@alex.von.mydealz Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S1 · E21
June 15 · 34 min
#21 - The One Where We Finally Reveal Last Week's Cliffhanger
Have you ever belted out the lyrics to Tokio Hotel’s Monsoon without actually knowing a single word of German? 😅 Welcome to Episode 21! We kick things off with a beautiful, completely made-up vocal performance by Coline, which leads us to discover the hilarious French concept of singing in Yaourt (Yoghurt). Then, Alex brings the receipts to follow up on last week's "Géramont" cheese betrayal. We dive deep into the psychology of "Foreign Branding"—why a French Le makes chocolate taste more premium and how the "Made in Germany" label actually started as a post-war warning before accidentally becoming a global mark of quality. We also expose the ultimate marketing lies of our childhoods: German brands pretending to be French (Bresso, Chantré, Dr. Oetker Bistro) and the devastating truth that the famous "Piemont Cherry" inside Mon Chéri chocolates is a complete geographical lie. Finally, Alex drops the mysterious French word he promised to reveal: La Garçonnière. We unpack the scandalous history of secret French apartments used for extra-marital affairs, the traditional Cinq à sept (5 to 7) timeframe dedicated to them, and why the Austrian definition of this word is significantly more boring. Plus, we review a new study ranking the happiest cities in Germany (Spoiler: Erfurt takes the crown, and Berlin is nowhere to be found). Words and concepts you’ll learn (and actually remember): 🇫🇷 Chanter en Yaourt (Singing in yoghurt—when you confidently sing a song in a foreign language by just making up sounds that mimic the words). 🇫🇷 La Garçonnière (Historically, a secret apartment used to hide an affair. Today, the French equivalent of a "man cave"). 🇫🇷 Le Cinq à sept (The 5:00 PM to 7:00 PM window—traditionally the prime time for French affairs between the end of the workday and returning home for dinner). 🇩🇪 Die Piemont-Kirsche (The legendary cherry from Mon Chéri commercials that Ferrero promised was from Italy, but is actually sourced from everywhere else). New episode every Monday! Please consider leaving a 5-star review, subscribe so you never miss an episode, and let us know in the comments: do your native languages have a word for a secret affair apartment? 🍒🤫 Follow us for more instagram.com/hellocoline instagram.com/alex.von.mydealz tiktok.com/@hellooco tiktok.com/@alex.von.mydealz Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S1 · E20
June 8 · 42 min
#20 - The One Where We Have Zero Structure (But A Lot Of Fun)
Recording from a sweltering 26-degree podcast studio in Berlin, Alex’s brain is officially melting. 🥵 Welcome to Episode 20! After an awkward pause and some complaints about the heat, we dive into the beautiful, untranslatable French concept of Le Terroir the unique mix of soil, climate, and tradition that gives regional food its identity. While Colline talks about the 1,200+ varieties of French cheese, Alex proudly brings up the German equivalent: the famous Spreewaldgurke (pickled cucumber) from the East. Naturally, we fall right back into our favorite topic: the strict rules of the French Plateau de Fromage. Colline gives a masterclass on how to respect the shape of the cheese (never cut off the pointy tip!), why you should never remove the rind, and why eating cheese with jam or mustard is a culinary offense. Plus, we settle the ultimate debate: cheese must always be eaten before the dessert, not instead of it! Alex also defends his controversial love for Babybel and the "French" cheese Géramont (which is actually a German marketing lie). Finally, we hit the language barrier. Colline tries to teach Alex the confusing rules of La Liaison (connecting words when you speak, except for the word for "beans") and why saying "I miss you" in French (Tu me manques) actually translates backward to "You are missing from me." Words and concepts you’ll learn (and actually remember): 🇫🇷 Le Terroir (The untranslatable combination of land, climate, soil, and tradition that gives French food its specific identity). 🇫🇷 La Liaison (The phonetic connection between words, like in bon appétit, designed to make French sound smooth). 🇫🇷 Tu me manques ("You are missing from me" – the painfully confusing French way to say "I miss you"). 🇫🇷 Brillat-Savarin (Colline's all-time favorite creamy cheese. Highly recommended). 🇩🇪 Die Spreewaldgurke (The famous pickled cucumber from East Germany). 🇩🇪 Der Flammkuchen (The incredibly thin, pizza-like dish from the French-German border region of Alsace). Also: Why Germans view meals as a purely transactional way to refill energy while the French view it as a social event, the German habit of eating cheese with sweet mustard, and a massive cliffhanger for our next episode! New episode every Monday! Please consider leaving a 5-star review, share the podcast with your friends, and let us know in the comments: do you put jam and mustard on your cheese board? 🧀🥒 Follow us for more instagram.com/hellocoline instagram.com/alex.von.mydealz tiktok.com/@hellooco tiktok.com/@alex.von.mydealz Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S1 · E19
June 1 · 48 min
#19 - The One Where We Record Live From Paris
Recording live from the 4th arrondissement in Paris! (Video Podcast available on Spotify!) 🥐 Welcome to Episode 19. Alex and Coline are officially in the same room (and the same country). After walking through the sweltering 31-degree heat of Paris, Alex is absolutely mind-blown by the density of incredible restaurants and bakeries. Coline plays the perfect Parisian guide, showing Alex why he never has to check Google Reviews for a French Brasserie, and trying to teach him how to pronounce his lunch (Steak haché à cheval). The highlight of the episode? The grand unboxing of the legendary Cédric Grolet pastries! Alex braved the lines to pick up the world-famous €18 Trompe L'œil (optical illusion) desserts. We do a live, slightly sweaty taste-test of the Passion Fruit and Vanilla creations and debate whether the high-end craftsmanship justifies the crazy price tag. We also unpack some classic Paris vs. Berlin culture shocks. Alex complains about the tiny hotel rooms, the lack of trees, and the aggressively narrow crosswalks. Coline defends her city but admits she would never actually want to live in Paris long-term. Plus, we debate the French habit of sitting down to enjoy a quick coffee at the Brasserie versus the German "to-go" culture. Words and concepts you’ll learn (and actually remember): 🇫🇷 Trompe L'œil (The famous technique Cédric Grolet uses to make his pastries look exactly like raw fruit). 🇫🇷 Sauf (A French road sign word meaning "Except," which Alex points out looks exactly like the German word for drinking). 🇫🇷 Steak haché à cheval (A French dish of ground beef topped with a fried egg, which Alex desperately tries to pronounce). 🇫🇷 Arrondissement (The snail-like spiral districts that make up the map of Paris). 🇩🇪 Das Hacksteak (The pragmatic German equivalent of a burger patty served on a plate). 🇩🇪 Die Fromagerie (Just kidding, that's French. But Alex spent the whole trip pointing at them anyway). New episode every Monday! Please consider leaving a 5-star review, send us a DM with your own cultural shocks, and let us know in the comments: do you prefer the beautiful, tiny streets of Paris or the wide, green parks of Berlin? 🍋🗼🇩🇪🇫🇷 Follow us for more instagram.com/hellocoline instagram.com/alex.von.mydealz tiktok.com/@hellooco tiktok.com/@alex.von.mydealz Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S1 · E18
May 25 · 48 min
#18 - The One Where We Talk About Dating
Navigating the international dating scene is one of those everyday things where cultural differences show up surprisingly fast. 😅 Welcome to Episode 18! After a short break, Coline is back from the rocky beaches of Nice (reminding us all to go watch the legendary French movie Brice de Nice). Meanwhile, Alex's mind is completely blown by a listener DM revealing that France uses a chaotic AZERTY keyboard instead of the standard QWERTZ or QWERTY. But the real meat of this episode? The Dating Special. Thanks to your hilarious DMs, we are dissecting the wild cultural clashes between French and German romance. We cover everything from the extreme pragmatism of German men (like taking a girl on a romantic walk... through a cemetery, or asking for gas money after driving her to the hospital) to the intense psychological games of French dating. If you have ever been confused by French "second degree" banter or wondered why a French guy just called you "the star guiding his dark soul" on date three, this episode is your survival guide. Words and concepts you’ll learn (and actually remember): 🇫🇷 On ne sait jamais sur quel pied danser ("You never know which foot to dance on" – the perfect phrase for the mysterious, blurry stage of French dating where you never know where you stand). 🇫🇷 Se prendre un râteau ("To step on a rake" – the highly visual, cartoonish French expression for getting brutally rejected). 🇫🇷 Déclarer sa flamme (Declaring your flame/feelings—the stage where French men suddenly turn into 18th-century poets). 🇫🇷 Sortir le grand jeu (Pulling out all the stops / bringing your A-game to impress someone). 🇫🇷 La galanterie (Chivalry. In France, a guy smoothly paying the dinner bill is standard. In Germany, it apparently deeply offends the woman who just wants to calculate her exact share). ⌨️ AZERTY (The French keyboard layout that makes typing impossible for anyone else in Europe). Also: Why French people think hugging is way too intimate but la bise (cheek kisses) is totally casual (and why Germans feel the exact opposite), the unwritten rules of texting, and why "we should grab a coffee sometime" actually means something completely different depending on where you are. New episode every Monday! Please consider leaving a 5-star review, send us your own cross-cultural dating disaster stories in the DMs, and let us know: do you prefer the German "stare from across the bar for three hours" or the French direct approach? 🍷🌹 Follow us for more instagram.com/hellocoline instagram.com/alex.von.mydealz tiktok.com/@hellooco tiktok.com/@alex.von.mydealz Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S1 · E17
May 18 · 35 min
#17 - The One Where We Debunk The French Paradox
Believing that red wine magically cancels out a heavy cheese diet is one of those cultural myths we all desperately want to be true. 😅 Welcome to Episode 17! We kick things off with Coline’s recent trip to Hamburg (which Alex concludes is basically just one giant, expensive Charlottenburg). After a visit to a French Bouillon in the city, the two dive into a heated debate about hospitality: why are French waiters meticulously briefed professionals, while German service is famously... lacking? Then, Alex brings up the ultimate culinary myth: The French Paradox. He breaks down the famous 1990s study by Serge Renaud that claimed the French survive their saturated fat-heavy diets simply by drinking red wine with their meals. We discuss how this single study caused US red wine sales to skyrocket by 40% overnight! But Alex brings the brutal modern reality check, debunking the medical myth with recent WHO guidelines, under-reported statistics, and rising EU obesity rates. If that isn't enough, we tackle the wild world of European beverages. Why do Germans charge a fortune for tap water while France gives it out for free? And what exactly is the German obsession with "Medium" water? Words and concepts you’ll learn (and actually remember): 🇫🇷 Bouillon (An authentic French restaurant concept offering real, traditional French food at affordable prices). 🇫🇷 Champomy (The legendary French non-alcoholic "champagne" for kids that Colline still demands on her birthday). 🇫🇷 Carafe d'eau (Free tap water—a legal requirement in French restaurants, but an expensive luxury in Germany). 🇩🇪 Die Apfelschorle (The greatest German beverage invention: apple juice mixed with highly sparkling water). 🇩🇪 Medium Wasser (A baffling German water category that Colline describes as perfectly good sparkling water that someone shook for two minutes). 🌍 The French Paradox (The 1990s medical myth that red wine shields your arteries from animal fats). New episode every Monday! Please consider leaving a 5-star review, share the podcast to help us map our global listeners, and let us know in the comments: do you prefer still, sparkling, or the highly confusing "medium" water? 🍷🍎 Follow us for more instagram.com/hellocoline instagram.com/alex.von.mydealz tiktok.com/@hellooco tiktok.com/@alex.von.mydealz Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S1 · E16
May 11 · 35 min
#16 - The One Where We Discover the Art of French Gastronomy
This week, Coline takes Alex into the very serious world of French food culture, table manners, and the sacred rules of eating together. Alex starts with the very German assumption that “gastronomie” means working in restaurants. Coline immediately disagrees and explains why, in France, gastronomy is much more than an industry: it is a whole ritual around food, rhythm, family, culture, and togetherness. And yes, the French gastronomic meal was officially added to the UNESCO cultural heritage list in 2010. Alex is not entirely convinced that the German Abendbrot got fair treatment here. Words you’ll learn and actually remember: La gastronomie française: French gastronomy. Not just restaurants, but the art and culture of good food, preparation, cooking, and sharing a meal. Les arts de la table: The “arts of the table”: how to prepare, decorate, and arrange a proper table. Fork on the left, knife on the right, and yes, people may notice if you get it wrong. Mettre la table / Mettre le couvert: To set the table. But in France, this is not just “putting plates down.” It comes with rules. La bienséance: Etiquette, good manners, and the invisible table rules that everyone somehow knows. Except Alex. La mie: The soft inside of the bread. Very important. Do not crush it. Seriously. Also in this episode: why the bread goes directly on the table, why you should never put a baguette upside down, why cheese comes before dessert, why Germans say “piep piep piep” before eating, why cutting salad might be a crime, and why you should always taste your food before adding salt. Plus: Alex slowly realizes that French food culture is not just a stereotype, but an entire structure of daily life. And we start wondering why two neighboring countries can be so close geographically, yet so different when it comes to eating. New episode every Monday! Please leave us a 5-star review, follow the podcast, send us your topic ideas, and tell us: what is the strictest food or table rule in your culture? Follow us for more instagram.com/hellocoline instagram.com/alex.von.mydealz tiktok.com/@hellooco tiktok.com/@alex.von.mydealz Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S1 · E15
May 4 · 37 min
#15 - The One Where Germans Wait At A Red Light At 3 AM
Happy Monday, and welcome to Episode 15! We kick things off with a massive thank you to our listener Anja, who finally solved the mystery of the German Fettnäpfchen (the bowl of fat). Then, we dive straight into the absolute chaos of European traffic culture. After Coline almost got run over by a bicycle in Berlin, we decided it was time to compare the strict, law-abiding German streets with the wild, rule-bending roads of France. If you have ever wondered why Germans stand completely still at a red pedestrian light at 3 AM in the pouring rain, this episode explains everything. We debate the absolute terror of trying to cross a Parisian street, why French traffic lights skip the yellow "get ready" phase, and why Berlin's bicycle riders act like they own the entire city. Plus, we compare strict German distraction laws (no phones even if the car is stopped!) to the French reality of legally eating a full cheese platter behind the wheel. Words and concepts you’ll learn (and actually remember): 🇩🇪 Der Zebrastreifen (The crosswalk—a magical place in Germany where cars actually stop, unlike in Paris where it's basically just street art). 🇩🇪 Rechts vor links (Right before left—the golden rule of intersections without street signs). 🇩🇪 Die Fahrradstraße (A dedicated bicycle street where cyclists are the absolute kings of the road and cars are barely tolerated). 🇩🇪 Die Richtgeschwindigkeit (The recommended speed limit on the German Autobahn—130 km/h—because driving too slow can actually get you a ticket). 🇫🇷 Les Feux Tricolores (French traffic lights—which jarringly go straight from red to green without any warning). Also: Alex flexes his completely broken Italian skills (ordering "Spaghetti Ice"), the shocking realization that Americans leave their cars running at the gas station, and Coline confesses her top speed on the Autobahn. New episode every Monday! Please consider leaving a 5-star review, share the podcast to help us expand our listener map, and let us know in the comments: do you wait at a red light when the street is completely empty? 🚦🚲 Follow us for more instagram.com/hellocoline instagram.com/alex.von.mydealz tiktok.com/@hellooco tiktok.com/@alex.von.mydealz Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S1 · E14
April 27 · 42 min
#14 - The One Where We Expose The Weirdest German Habits
After roasting the French in our last episode, it is officially payback time. This week, Coline brings a list of the most confusing, weird, and highly specific German habits that leave foreigners absolutely baffled. We kick things off with Coline demonstrating her"fluent" Italian (which mostly consists of ordering ice cream), before diving deep into the German psyche. If you have ever wondered why your German colleagues bring their own cake to the office on their birthday, this episode is for you. We explore the ultimate German paradox: the obsession with throwing all windows wide open in the dead of winter, combined with a mortal fear of a light indoor breeze. Plus, Coline is absolutely horrified to learn that Germans not only use two separate blankets in a double bed, but actually sleep on two completely separate mattresses! Words and concepts you’ll learn (and actually remember): 🇩🇪 Stoßlüften (The sacred German ritual of shock-ventilating an apartment by opening all windows wide, regardless of freezing temperatures). 🇩🇪 Der Durchzug (The terrifying cross-breeze that Germans genuinely believe will cause instant, fatal neck pain). 🇩🇪 Die Besucherritze (The uncomfortable gap between two separate mattresses in a German double bed—where kids end up when they have a nightmare). 🇩🇪 Gästepantoffeln (The mandatory, usually terrible-looking guest slippers you are handed the second you are forced to take your shoes off at the door). 🇫🇷 Carafe d'eau (Free tap water—a basic human right in French restaurants, but something that will get you deeply judged by a German waiter). Also: The famous "German Stare" (people-watching as a national sport), why arriving exactly on time actually means you are five minutes late, the cultural trauma of restaurants that are "Cash Only," and Alex’s hot take that couples get the best sleep in completely different rooms. New episode every Monday! Please consider leaving a 5-star review, share the podcast with your friends to help us reach our 100-country goal, and let us know in the comments: do you share a blanket, or are you secretly Team German Mattress? 🛌🪟 Follow us for more instagram.com/hellocoline instagram.com/alex.von.mydealz tiktok.com/@hellooco tiktok.com/@alex.von.mydealz Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S1 · E13
April 20 · 42 min
#13 - The One Where We Learn How To Behave In France
This week, thanks to a DM from our listener Mark, we are reacting live to a German article titled "Benehmen wie Gott in Frankreich" (How to behave in France). If you want to avoid embarrassing yourself on your next trip to Paris, this episode is a survival guide. We cover the absolute necessity of saying a polite "Bonjour", the intense mathematics of the German getrennte Kasse versus the French way of splitting a restaurant bill equally, and the ultimate culinary crime: putting butter on your baguette at dinner time. Words you’ll learn (and actually remember): 🇩🇪 Das Fettnäpfchen (Literally "the fat bowl" – the German idiom for stepping right into a social blunder). 🇩🇪 Der Banause (An uncultured person—exactly what you are if you ask a fancy French chef for ketchup or Maggi sauce). 🇫🇷 Le Faux pas (A social blunder, though Colline clarifies the French mostly use this strictly for fashion mistakes). 🇫🇷 Un Malotru (Supposedly a word for a rude person who doesn't say hello... except Coline claims this is fake news and has never heard it in her life). 🇫🇷 Œufs à la coque (Soft-boiled eggs—the only acceptable meal where you can eat bread and butter outside of breakfast). Also: The anxiety of navigating the French bise versus the German handshake, why bringing wine to a dinner party is actually totally fine (despite what the internet says), and the shocking website tracking German history. Plus, the great Spotify Playlist Rivalry continues! Coline is currently beating Alex in followers, but Alex fights back with his latest German playlist addition: the Italian-inspired Schlager-pop track "Bella Napoli" by Roy Bianco. Find the playlists here BANGER SONGS TO LEARN GERMAN (Alex) BANGER SONGS TO LEARN FRENCH (Coline) New episode every Monday! Please consider leaving a 5-star review, share the podcast to help us reach our 100-country goal (shoutout to our listeners in Cambodia, Bahrain, and Kenya!), and let us know: do you secretly calculate exactly what you ate when splitting the bill? 🧀🥖 Follow us for more instagram.com/hellocoline instagram.com/alex.von.mydealz tiktok.com/@hellooco tiktok.com/@alex.von.mydealz Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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