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Wholly Buyable

Chas Bayfield

Advertising Creative Director Chas Bayfield takes you on a road trip through the Bible, leaving one significant item of baggage at home- religion. He tells the story from Genesis to Revelation and explains how this more than any other book has impacted western culture. Wholly Buyable is a podcast for people who might never normally pick up a Bible but who feel they should perhaps know a little more about it than they currently do. After all, the Bible is a book for everyone, not just believers. Listeners will be taken through action sequences worthy of a 21st century TV drama. They will be seduced by erotic poetry and bombarded with hallucinatory visions. Fill your boots with betrayal, brutality, beauty and, believe it or not, comedy. This isn’t your average Bible podcast; no one will be told what to believe but everyone who joins in the journey will hopefully feel that they know the world’s best-selling book a little better.

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  • 22 episodes
  • weekly
  • Avg 20 min
  • English

Episodes 22

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  • S24 · E225
    Yesterday · 20 min

    225: The Dustlickers (Micah 6-7, Nahum 1)

    Judah’s wealthy elite are violent, and the ordinary people are liars, and this is why God has begun to ruin them. They will eat but never feel that they have had enough. They will store up wealth only to have their treasures plundered by enemy soldiers. They will plant and harvest but never see the fruit of their labour. Punishment is coming, Micah tells readers, but the good times will return and their enemies will be left in awe of a God who rescues his people. Micah's book ends and Nahum dials up the poetry with a rant against the Assyrian capital, Nineveh, which will be consumed like fire raging through dry stubble in a cornfield. Written and produced by Chas Bayfield Music by Michael Auld and Jon Hawkins Music Original cover art by Lisa Goff E: contact@whollybuyable.com X: Wholly Buyable Podcast

  • S24 · E224
    September 22 · 19 min

    224: The Destroyer (Micah 4-6)

    Incredibly, a man who lives almost two centuries before the Jews of Judah are defeated then exiled to Babylon, has a vision. In it, he hears God telling him exactly what will happen to his people. What makes Micah's prediction even more impressive is that he seems to know what happens next. Not only will a remnant of the Jews survive, they will be given a ruler who appears to be none other than their longed-for Messiah, and who will be born in Betlehem... Written and produced by Chas Bayfield Music by Michael Auld and Jon Hawkins Music Original cover art by Lisa Goff E: contact@whollybuyable.com X: Wholly Buyable Podcast

  • S24 · E223
    September 15 · 19 min

    223: Cannibals (Micah 1-3)

    Israel and Judah's leaders hate good and love evil. They tear the skin and flesh from people’s bones, eat their flesh, smash their bones and butcher them like meat for the pot. But punishment is coming. Their ancestral land will be ploughed like a field, Jerusalem will become rubble and the hill on which the temple sits will be overgrown with weeds. But Micah's words are not a warning, they are a promise. Written and produced by Chas Bayfield Music by Michael Auld and Jon Hawkins Music Original cover art by Lisa Goff E: contact@whollybuyable.com X: Wholly Buyable Podcast

  • S24 · E222
    September 8 · 20 min

    222: Swallowed Alive (Jonah 1-4)

    Given it's one of the most famous stories in the Bible, if not literature, Jonah's story needs little introduction. But most people who know that Jonah is swallowed alive forget that he not only accomplishes his mission, but brings about the largest mass conversion in the Bible. Much of it while absolutely furious! Written and produced by Chas Bayfield Music by Michael Auld and Jon Hawkins Music Original cover art by Lisa Goff E: contact@whollybuyable.com X: Wholly Buyable Podcast

  • S24 · E221
    September 1 · 19 min

    221: Terror on the Mountain (Amos 9, Obadiah 1)

    As Amos' book ends, Israel's renegade Jews are told there is nowhere to hide. God will send a monster to hunt them out of the sea, he will smoke them out of mountain caves and snatch them out of the sky. Attention then turns to the prophet Obadiah who, it's fair to say, is less than happy with Judah's neighbour, Edom. Obadiah is a short book but a feisty one, and few diatribes by a prophet against a people are as withering. Written and produced by Chas Bayfield Music by Michael Auld and Jon Hawkins Music Original cover art by Lisa Goff E: contact@whollybuyable.com X: Wholly Buyable Podcast

  • S24 · E220
    August 25 · 20 min

    220: Darkness at Noon (Amos 5-8)

    In a morally bankrupt Israel, a priest orders the shepherd-prophet Amos to take his message of doom back to Judah. “Earn your bread there and do your prophesying there,” he tells him. The man sees Amos' words as counter-cultural and offensive. Telling Israel's spiritual leaders that they are wrong is treasonous, he says, as if patriotism trumps actually following God. It's a powerful message, and proof that truth has been battling ideology for millennia. Written and produced by Chas Bayfield Music by Michael Auld and Jon Hawkins Music Original cover art by Lisa Goff E: contact@whollybuyable.com X: Wholly Buyable Podcast

  • S24 · E219
    August 18 · 20 min

    219: Naked Soldiers (Amos 2-5)

    “The swift will not escape, the strong will not muster their strength, and the warrior will not save his life. The archer will not stand his ground, the fleet-footed soldier will not get away, and the horseman will not save his life. Even the bravest warriors will flee naked on that day.” These are tough words from an Old Testament prophet, and the Jews of Israel and Judah have a simple choice: to listen and make positive changes, or to ignore the message and be utterly destroyed. Written and produced by Chas Bayfield Music by Michael Auld and Jon Hawkins Music Original cover art by Lisa Goff E: contact@whollybuyable.com X: Wholly Buyable Podcast

  • S24 · E218
    August 11 · 21 min

    218: The Stench (Joel 2-4, Amos 1)

    The land may have ben scourged by a locust swarm but punishment will not last, the prophet Joel says. God will drive the hordes or insects into the Dead Sea and wine will flow from Israel's mountains. The shepherd Amos then takes the prophet's baton and immediately launches into a withering diatribe against Israel's neighbours. Woe abounds. Written and produced by Chas Bayfield Music by Michael Auld and Jon Hawkins Music Original cover art by Lisa Goff E: contact@whollybuyable.com X: Wholly Buyable Podcast

  • August 6 · 12 min

    Israel Palestine Special

    Given how central Israel is to the Bible, it seems at best avoidant to not attempt to put this ancient nation - and its present day iteration - in context. No politics or agenda, just a bit of history that allows listeners to understand Israel's biblical origin story, and what happened next. Written and produced by Chas Bayfield Music by Michael Auld and Jon Hawkins Music Cover art by Lisa Goff E: contact@whollybuyable.com X: Wholly Buyable Podcast

  • S24 · E217
    August 4 · 20 min

    217: Black Dawn (Hosea 12-14, Joel 1-2)

    It's n0t too late for Israel's Jews to turn back to God and abandon the idols and other pagan deities who they have been worshipping themselves. To help them reach that decision, Hosea paints a terrifying future where Israel faces utter devastation. He then hands the baton to the prophet Joel whose predictions are even bleaker. Joel describes a catastrophic locust swarm that will decimate the land, all the more terrifying as it's uncertain whether or not he is being metaphorical. If it's powerful ,poetic pronouncements of doom that light your fire, you're in for the ride of your life. Written and produced by Chas Bayfield Music by Michael Auld and Jon Hawkins Music Cover art by Lisa Goff E: contact@whollybuyable.com X: Wholly Buyable Podcast

  • S24 · E216
    July 28 · 22 min

    216: The Slayer (Hosea 9-12)

    If the Old Testament prophet Hosea is known for anything, it is because God orders him to marry a "promiscuous woman". And though this action dominates the early part of Hosea's book, it is not even referred to in the later chapters. The marriage is simply a teachable moment to alert Israel's Jews of the danger of worshipping gods that aren't God, but it is the tragedy that befalls a nation which abandons God that is spelled out here. If it's righteous anger delivered with a poetic punch you're after, you're in for a treat. Written and produced by Chas Bayfield Music by Michael Auld and Jon Hawkins Music Cover art by Lisa Goff E: contact@whollybuyable.com X: Wholly Buyable Podcast

  • S24 · E215
    July 21 · 21 min

    215: The Murder Priests (Hosea 5-9)

    The narrative moves on from Hosea and his promiscuous wife to a full on diatribe against Israel. The nation is ruled by adulterers whose sins burn like an oven so hot that it doesn't need stoking for over two hours. God is furious with his people, particularly those in charge of everyone's spirituality, and Hosea spells out the punishments they can expect from God. There will be consequences, and violence is coming. Written and produced by Chas Bayfield Music by Michael Auld and Jon Hawkins Music Cover art by Lisa Goff E: contact@whollybuyable.com X: Wholly Buyable Podcast

  • S24 · E214
    July 14 · 20 min

    214: The Whore Wife (Hosea 1-4)

    A man is told by God to find himself a promiscuous woman as a wife. Not only that, he names their children as warnings to wayward Israel. This isn't the kind of story that springs to mind when people think of the Bible, but here at Wholly Buyable, if it's in the book, it's in the podcast. Written and produced by Chas Bayfield Music by Michael Auld and Jon Hawkins Music Cover art by Lisa Goff E: contact@whollybuyable.com X: Wholly Buyable Podcast

  • S23 · E213
    July 7 · 22 min

    213: The Abomination (Daniel 11-12)

    The prophet Daniel receives an epic account of the future from a terrifying angel. Detailed predictions spanning centuries of Near Eastern history pour from the angel's mouth, and incredibly, almost every one of these can be mapped against real historical events. If true, these are some of the most incredible prophecies ever recorded. Written and produced by Chas Bayfield Music by Michael Auld and Jon Hawkins Music Cover art by Lisa Goff E: contact@whollybuyable.com X: Wholly Buyable Podcast

  • S23 · E212
    June 30 · 20 min

    212: Terror Angel (Daniel 9-11)

    Now an old man, the prophet Daniel is blindsided by a terrifying angelic visitor as he stands by a Persian river. The angel delivers a bewildering message that maps geopolitical developments in the Ancient Near East. If the message was indeed given to Daniel in the sixth century BC, it contains some of the most accurate prophecy ever recorded. Futurology nerds have been trying to figure out the math for two and a half millennia, some with tragic results. Written and produced by Chas Bayfield Music by Michael Auld and Jon Hawkins Music Cover art by Lisa Goff E: contact@whollybuyable.com X: Wholly Buyable Podcast

  • S23 · E211
    June 23 · 20 min

    211: The Death Cats (Daniel 6-8)

    In one of the most famous stories in the Bible, if not literature, a Jewish exile from Judah who has risen to power in the Babylonian regime is thrown into a pit filled with ravenous lions. Written and produced by Chas Bayfield Music by Michael Auld and Jon Hawkins Music Cover art by Lisa Goff E: contact@whollybuyable.com X: Wholly Buyable Podcast

  • S23 · E210
    June 16 · 20 min

    210: The Incinerator (Daniel 3-5)

    When Babylon's tyrannical king, Nebuchadnezzar erects a giant golden effigy and expects everyone in his kingdom to worship it, there is pushback, especially from Daniel's companions from Judah, Shadrach, Meshach and Abednigo. Threatened by death in a furnace if they do not bow down to the golden god, the men have a difficult choice to make: compromise their faith, or die horribly. Written and produced by Chas Bayfield Music by Michael Auld and Jon Hawkins Music Cover art by Lisa Goff E: contact@whollybuyable.com X: Wholly Buyable Podcast

  • S23 · E209
    June 8 · 18 min

    209: The Necromancers (Daniel 1-2)

    The last of the great prophecty books begins. With its pin sharp predictions and epic action sequences, Daniel's book has transcended the Bible. The man thrown to the lions has long been part of popular culture, but there is far more to Daniel's story than his face-off against apex predators. Written and produced by Chas Bayfield Music by Michael Auld and Jon Hawkins Music Cover art by Lisa Goff E: contact@whollybuyable.com X: Wholly Buyable Podcast

  • S22 · E208
    June 2 · 23 min

    208: The Impossible River (Ezekiel 43-48)

    Having spent multiple chapters taking down notes for the design of Jerusalem's new temple, Ezekiel sees a dramatic vision of a great river flowing from beneath the building. A river so fast and wide that after less than a mile, it is impossible to swim across. The prophet then believes he hears God telling him the tribal boundaries of a new Israel. Unsurprisingly, Ezekiel's book continues to surprise and delight to the very last word. Written and produced by Chas Bayfield Music by Michael Auld and Jon Hawkins Music Cover art by Lisa Goff E: contact@whollybuyable.com X: Wholly Buyable Podcast Conversions Lengths 45 feet = 13.7m 60 feet = 18.3m 125 yards = 114.3m 290 yards = 265m 500 yards = 460m 1 mile = 1.6km 1⅔ miles = 2.7km 2 miles = 3.2km 3 miles = 4.8km 5 miles = 8km 5.7 miles = 11km 6 miles = 9.65lm 7 miles = 9km Weights + volumes 6/lb = 2.7kg ⅓ gallon = 1.5 litres 40lb = 18.1kg 1 gallon = 3.8 litres Ephah = 35lb / 15.9kg Bath = 5.8 gallons / 22 litres Homer = 58 gallons / 220 litres Shekel = 0.4oz / 12g Gerah = 0.02oz / 0.06g Map of the New Israel https://jbqnew.jewishbible.org/assets/Uploads/341/341_utopian.pdf

  • S22 · E207
    May 25 · 18 min

    207: Return of the King (Ezekiel 42-44)

    Bible experts have long been confused as to why the chapters at the end of the Book of Ezekiel go into such granular detail about a building which, over 2500 years later, has yet to be constructed. It's one of the marvels of the Bible, and sits surprisingly comfortably in a book that has a man lie on one side for over a year, who is ordered to cook on a fire made from his own poo, whose wife is killed to make a point about the fall of Jerusalem, who describes women so debauched that it puts Fifty Shades of Grey in the shade, oh, and who sees the kneebone connected to the thighbone. I'm actually sad we're getting to the end of Ezekiel's book, and I hope you're enjoying it as much as I am. Written and produced by Chas Bayfield Music by Michael Auld and Jon Hawkins Music Cover art by Lisa Goff E: contact@whollybuyable.com X: Wholly Buyable Podcast Conversions 9in = 23cm 21in = 53cm 42in = 1m07 15ft = 4.5m 24.5ft = 7.5m 30ft = 9m 75ft = 23m 150ft = 46m 750ft = 230m 3D video render of Ezekiel's temple: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oQRegCrJHzk How the altar looked: https://in.pinterest.com/pin/51298883249768377/

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