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When We Die Talks

Zach Ancell

When We Die Talks is a collection of real conversations with real people about death, meaning, and what it’s like to be human.


Each week, host Zach Ancell speaks with an anonymous caller. It begins with one question: What do you think happens when we die? From there, the conversation goes wherever it goes. Belief. Doubt. Loss. Relief. Fear. Sometimes even laughter.

These aren’t experts or public figures. Just everyday people saying the quiet parts out loud. The result is raw, unpredictable, and deeply human.


New anonymous calls every Tuesday.


Want to add your voice? Apply to be a caller at whenwedietalks.com. Leave a voicemail and share a belief, a question, or a moment you can’t shake about death: 971-328-0864.

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  • 27 episodes
  • weekly
  • Avg 51 min
  • English

Episodes 27

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  • #59
    June 9 · 47 min

    Anonymous #37 — Can Faith Change What It's Like to Be With Someone Who Is Dying?

    This week's caller is a retired physician who spent decades at the bedside of dying patients and now works at a funeral home. They have been present for death on both sides: as the person trying to slow it down, and as the person who shows up after. Somewhere in all of that, faith became the thing that held it all together. This is a conversation about what it looks like to build an entire life around proximity to death and come out the other side more certain, not less. We talk about the difference between the brain that perceives and the brain that just keeps the lights on, what it felt like to be airlifted off an island during a military coup at 22 years old, and why the anatomy lab might be one of the most quietly spiritual places a person can sit. We also get into what families get wrong about what their loved ones are experiencing near the end, why the body is so complicated it's hard not to believe something made it, and what it costs a person emotionally to keep showing up for other people's worst moments without breaking down. In this conversation: What the brainstem keeps doing after the upper brain goes quiet, and why families often mistake that for suffering This is the anatomy book mentioned during the call: Body of Work: Meditations on Mortality from the Human Anatomy Lab by Christine Montross Why promising to be there at the deathbed changed how this caller practiced medicine Being airlifted out of Grenada in 1983 and what that moment did to how this caller decided to live What burying your emotions to help other people actually does to you over time Why the caller can't understand choosing to believe there's nothing after death Book Recommendations: The Bible All Anonymous Book Recommendations: View the full list Video Episode: If you'd like to watch this conversation instead of just listening, you can find the video version on YouTube About When We Die Talks: When We Die Talks is a podcast built around anonymous conversations about death, loss, and how contemplating mortality shapes the way we live. If you’re new here, start with the Episode Guide. It’s designed to help you find conversations that match where you’re at—curiosity, grief, hesitation, or openness. Stay Connected 🌐 Website: whenwedietalks.com 📰 Substack: When We Die Talks 📸 Instagram: @whenwedietalks ▶️ YouTube: When We Die Talks ✉️ Email: zach@whenwedietalks.com Want to share your thoughts? Leave a voicemail at 971-328-0864 and share what you believe happens when we die. Messages may be featured in a future episode. If you’d like to have a full conversation, you can apply to be an anonymous caller at whenwedietalks.com.

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  • #58
    June 2 · 42 min

    Anonymous #36 — Does the Fear of Death Go Away, or Do You Just Get Better at Living With It?

    This week's caller is 79 years old and has spent the last three years going down every rabbit hole death has to offer. All in service of a book that's about to come out. They have lost a husband and a mother. They have survived breast cancer. And somewhere in all of that, they stopped being afraid of dying and started being afraid of being dead. This is a conversation between two people who have ended up in surprisingly similar places on a topic most people won't touch. We talk about what it means to sit with "I don't know" as an actual answer, why sadness might be easier to live with than fear, and what panpsychism and a pretty intense psychedelic experience have to do with any of this. We also get into ego, annihilation, the logistics of being a ghost, and why the idea of nothing before you were born is somehow less terrifying than the idea of nothing after you die. In this conversation: The difference between being afraid of dying and being afraid of being dead Panpsychism — the idea that everything, including rocks and plants, has some form of consciousness — and why it's making a quiet comeback 5-MeO-DMT vs. DMT, and why machine elves are not the vibe Ram Dass on ego dissolution and why releasing the self might be the only real antidote to the fear of death Why fear might just be sadness wearing a disguise The "nothing before you were born" reframe — and where it came from Annaka Harris' book Lights On (I mentioned this during the call but couldn't remember the title at the time) Book recommendations: The Emigrants by W.G. Sebald More book recommendations from past episodes: View the full list Video Episode: If you’d like to watch this conversation instead of just listening, you can find the video version on YouTube About When We Die Talks: When We Die Talks is a podcast built around anonymous conversations about death, loss, and how contemplating mortality shapes the way we live. If you’re new here, start with the Episode Guide. It’s designed to help you find conversations that match where you’re at—curiosity, grief, hesitation, or openness. Stay Connected 🌐 Website: whenwedietalks.com 📰 Substack: When We Die Talks 📸 Instagram: @whenwedietalks ▶️ YouTube: When We Die Talks ✉️ Email: zach@whenwedietalks.com Want to share your thoughts? Leave a voicemail at 971-328-0864 and share what you believe happens when we die. Messages may be featured in a future episode. If you’d like to have a full conversation, you can apply to be an anonymous caller at whenwedietalks.com.

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  • #57
    May 12 · 51 min

    Anonymous #35 — How Do You Keep Loving People When You're the One They're Going to Lose?

    This week's caller was diagnosed with a terminal illness at eight years old. They have never not known that death was part of their life. They are an actor, a writer, a reader, a person who rescues snails and keeps a pet millipede and loves sharks because they understand what it feels like to be misunderstood. They are also someone who has spent their entire life figuring out how to live fully inside a body that makes that complicated. This is a conversation about what it looks like to choose life, loudly, intentionally, and without apology, when death has always been in the room. We talk about the guilt of knowing you're going to hurt everyone who loves you, the difference between being afraid of death and being afraid of dying, and why so much of how we portray terminally ill people in media gets it completely wrong. We also get into what they hope they can do once they're gone, why they want to perform at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival even though their doctors would disagree, and the one thing they still want to experience before they die, which is not what you'd expect. In this conversation: The difference between fearing death and fearing the process of dying Why "you don't look sick" is something we should all agree to stop saying The guilt of knowing your death is going to hurt the people you love most Book recommendations: Reverie by Ryan La Sala; I Fell in Love with Hope by Lancali More book recommendations from past episodes: View the full list Video Episode: If you’d like to watch this conversation instead of just listening, you can find the video version on YouTube Nemosené: Your Life Story A guided audio interview to capture your story in your own words for the people you love. Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you. About When We Die Talks: When We Die Talks is a podcast built around anonymous conversations about death, loss, and how contemplating mortality shapes the way we live. If you’re new here, start with the Episode Guide. It’s designed to help you find conversations that match where you’re at—curiosity, grief, hesitation, or openness. Stay Connected 🌐 Website: whenwedietalks.com 📰 Substack: When We Die Talks 📸 Instagram: @whenwedietalks ▶️ YouTube: When We Die Talks ✉️ Email: zach@whenwedietalks.com Want to share your thoughts? Leave a voicemail at 971-328-0864 and share what you believe happens when we die. Messages may be featured in a future episode. If you’d like to have a full conversation, you can apply to be an anonymous caller at whenwedietalks.com.

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  • #56
    May 5 · 48 min

    Anonymous #34 — Can The Losses That Broke You As A Teenager Also Be The Things That Made You?

    This week's caller is a pediatric nurse who has been around death long enough to stop fearing it and start getting curious about it. They lost their father to suicide as a teenager. A few months later, they were the one doing CPR on their childhood best friend after an accidental fentanyl overdose. They were sixteen. They didn't become a nurse because of those losses exactly, but those losses made them someone who couldn't look away. This is a conversation about what it looks like when death becomes a daily presence instead of a distant fear, and what a person builds out of that. We talk about what it's like to have a job where you see about two people die every week and what your mind does to keep moving. We get into reincarnation through a video game analogy that is really fascinating, the difference between what you believe and what you hope, and why this caller's fear isn't death itself. It's leaving people behind. We also hear the story of a man who died alone because he'd told his children he never wanted to see them again, and what he asked this caller to pass on. Content note: This episode includes a brief mention of suicide and accidental overdose. Neither is dwelt on at length. In this conversation: What it actually feels like to watch someone die and how nurses keep moving after The three-lives theory: reincarnation, Mario, and why deja vu might mean something Why their fear of death is really a fear of what they'd leave behind What a dying man asked this caller to tell people, and why she still hears his voice Book recommendation: Wuthering Heights by Emily Brontë More book recommendations from past episodes: View the full list Video Episode: If you’d like to watch this conversation instead of just listening, you can find the video version on YouTube Referenced in the intro: Gift Economy — A Mission Statement on Donation-Based Teaching by David Sudar Nemosené: Your Life Story A guided audio interview to capture your story in your own words for the people you love. Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you. About When We Die Talks: When We Die Talks is a podcast built around anonymous conversations about death, loss, and how contemplating mortality shapes the way we live. If you’re new here, start with the Episode Guide. It’s designed to help you find conversations that match where you’re at—curiosity, grief, hesitation, or openness. Stay Connected 🌐 Website: whenwedietalks.com 📰 Substack: When We Die Talks 📸 Instagram: @whenwedietalks ▶️ YouTube: When We Die Talks ✉️ Email: zach@whenwedietalks.com Want to share your thoughts? Leave a voicemail at 971-328-0864 and share what you believe happens when we die. Messages may be featured in a future episode. If you’d like to have a full conversation, you can apply to be an anonymous caller at whenwedietalks.com.

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  • #55
    April 28 · 1 hr 6 min

    Bonus — Don Sires: Exit Interview

    This one is different. When We Die Talks is built around anonymous conversations — people calling in to talk about death, dying, and what they think comes next. No names, no faces, just honest conversation. This episode breaks that format entirely, and I think once you hear it you'll understand why it had to. Don Sires was one of the very first guests on this podcast. Over a year ago he sat down with me, not anonymously, by his own choice, and talked about living with ALS, his Baha'i faith, and what he believed waited on the other side. That episode, Episode 8, became one of the most listened to conversations this show has ever had. It's still the one I get contacted about the most. A few weeks ago Don texted me. His nurse had given him four to six weeks to live. And then he asked if I wanted to do a wrap-up interview. That's very Don. I went to his home and we sat down one more time. This conversation is quieter than the first one. Slower. The Don you met in Episode 8 is still very much there, the curiosity, the warmth, the willingness to go deep, but you'll notice the difference. He wanted to wrap things up, offer some final thoughts, and leave something behind. If you haven't heard Episode 8, please start there. Get to know him first. Then come back. I'm honored that Don trusted me with his story over a year ago. I'm even more honored that he trusted me with this. Video Episode: If you’d like to watch this conversation instead of just listening, you can find the video version on YouTube About When We Die Talks: When We Die Talks is a podcast built around anonymous conversations about death, loss, and how contemplating mortality shapes the way we live. If you’re new here, start with the Episode Guide. It’s designed to help you find conversations that match where you’re at—curiosity, grief, hesitation, or openness. Stay Connected 🌐 Website: whenwedietalks.com 📰 Substack: When We Die Talks 📸 Instagram: @whenwedietalks ▶️ YouTube: When We Die Talks ✉️ Email: zach@whenwedietalks.com Want to share your thoughts? Leave a voicemail at 971-328-0864 and share what you believe happens when we die. Messages may be featured in a future episode. If you’d like to have a full conversation, you can apply to be an anonymous caller at whenwedietalks.com.

    • Transcript
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  • #54
    April 21 · 46 min

    Anonymous #33 — Why Does Some Grief Get to Be Spoken Out Loud and Some Doesn't?

    This week's caller has been living with grief long enough to become a student of it. They lost their mom at twenty-two. Then their cat. Then their soul dog thirteen months ago. This is a conversation about grief that doesn't rank itself, animals as family, and what it means to believe your soul chose this life even when this life has been really hard. We talk about losing a parent young and what it does when no one ever talked about death before it happened. We get into ecological grief, the mourning of a world as it used to be, and how a hottest summer on record in Greece sent this caller on a path toward becoming a grief recovery specialist. We talk about souls, reincarnation, the possibility that time doesn't exist where our animals go, and the very real question of whether you'll get to meet your dog again. And somewhere in the middle of all of it, we end up laughing about whether the old souls are just patiently waiting while the young souls keep coming back around to figure it out. In this conversation: Ecological grief and why grieving a changing world is not a disorder, it's a response Anticipatory grief — the kind that starts before you've lost anyone Why they found it harder to lose their cat than their mother, and why that makes complete sense The case for anti-speciesism in grief work — why every animal deserves to be mourned without shame A few lines from the call: "Death is the only thing that is sure that's gonna happen to our body after we're born, and yet no one speaks about it." "I didn't even want to live anymore." What losing their soul dog did, said plainly. "We don't overcome grief. We learn how to live with grief." Book recommendation: The Wild Edge of Sorrow by Francis Weller More book recommendations from past episodes: View the full list Video Episode: If you’d like to watch this conversation instead of just listening, you can find the video version on YouTube Nemosené: Your Life Story A guided audio interview to capture your story in your own words for the people you love. Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you. About When We Die Talks: When We Die Talks is a podcast built around anonymous conversations about death, loss, and how contemplating mortality shapes the way we live. If you’re new here, start with the Episode Guide. It’s designed to help you find conversations that match where you’re at—curiosity, grief, hesitation, or openness. Stay Connected 🌐 Website: whenwedietalks.com 📰 Substack: When We Die Talks 📸 Instagram: @whenwedietalks ▶️ YouTube: When We Die Talks ✉️ Email: zach@whenwedietalks.com Want to share your thoughts? Leave a voicemail at 971-328-0864 and share what you believe happens when we die. Messages may be featured in a future episode. If you’d like to have a full conversation, you can apply to be an anonymous caller at whenwedietalks.com.

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  • #53
    April 14 · 37 min

    Anonymous #32 — What Do You Do With a Faith That Can't Explain the Worst Thing That Happened to You?

    Note: This episode includes an open discussion of suicide and suicide loss. Please listen when you're in a good place to do so. This week's caller has lived through a concentrated stretch of loss that would bring most people to their knees. A beloved grandmother who raised them. Another grandmother, expected but still hard. And then, in March of 2021, their husband — suddenly, traumatically, in a way that left no warning and no clean answers. They came to this conversation not from a place of unresolved pain, but from one of hard-won peace. And they wanted to talk about how they got there. At the center of it is a belief they've held since childhood and leaned on through every loss: that no one dies without a final chance. That in the last moments of any life, there is still an opening — for forgiveness, for grace, for something that doesn't close until it actually closes. In this conversation: Losing three significant people in three years and how each grief felt entirely different What it means to find your grandmother on the floor and just know before you know Surviving the death of a spouse by suicide Why the caller believes their husband is in heaven and the theological reasoning that got them there The difference between religion and relationship, and why that distinction mattered most when the questions got hardest What it means to be a widow in your forties when you were expecting to grow old together A few lines from the call: "I didn't know up from down. I was totally crushed." "He didn't commit suicide. He died by suicide." "In those last twinkling moments — every single person has that one last opportunity." "When it's my time, I'll be ready. And not fearful." Book mentioned in this episode: The Art of Racing in the Rain by Garth Stein More book recommendations from past episodes: View the full list Video Episode: If you’d like to watch this conversation instead of just listening, you can find the video version on YouTube Nemosené: Your Life Story A guided audio interview to capture your story in your own words for the people you love. Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you. About When We Die Talks: When We Die Talks is a podcast built around anonymous conversations about death, loss, and how contemplating mortality shapes the way we live. If you’re new here, start with the Episode Guide. It’s designed to help you find conversations that match where you’re at—curiosity, grief, hesitation, or openness. Stay Connected 🌐 Website: whenwedietalks.com 📰 Substack: When We Die Talks 📸 Instagram: @whenwedietalks ▶️ YouTube: When We Die Talks ✉️ Email: zach@whenwedietalks.com Want to share your thoughts? Leave a voicemail at 971-328-0864 and share what you believe happens when we die. Messages may be featured in a future episode. If you’d like to have a full conversation, you can apply to be an anonymous caller at whenwedietalks.com.

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Showing 21–27 of 27 episodes