Two Dudes Talkin' Therapy

Dr. J and Dr. V

Two licensed clinical psychologists, Dr. Jacob Ambrose, PhD and Dr. Vincent Barbieri, PhD provide their insights on all things therapy, with a twist of humor and rich therapeutic wisdom! Join as they demystify the world of counseling, offering valuable insights and practical knowledge.

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September 28 · 19 min
Emotional Neglect
Full Episode on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/2dudestalkintherapy Dr. Vincent Barbieri and Dr. Jacob Ambrose are licensed psychologists who explore trauma, attachment, relationships, ADHD, and emotional development on Two Dudes Talkin’ Therapy. In this episode, they break down childhood emotional neglect—one of the most invisible forms of childhood trauma—and explain how growing up without emotional attunement can shape your identity, relationships, and ability to trust your own emotions as an adult. Why do some people intellectualize everything they feel? Why can intimacy feel like something you have to earn? Why do some people lose themselves in relationships or feel drawn toward emotionally unavailable partners? Vincent and Jacob explore how these patterns can develop, why they often make sense in the context of childhood, and what healing can actually look like. Chapters: [00:50] Defining Emotional Neglect and Pain [04:35] How Emotional Neglect Shapes Your Sense of Self [08:00] Intellectualization: When You Learn to Live in Your Head [13:30] How Childhood Neglect Shows Up in Adult Relationships [19:00] How to Heal Childhood Emotional Neglect Childhood emotional neglect is often difficult to identify because it is defined less by what happened and more by what was missing. A child may have had food, shelter, education, and caregivers who appeared functional from the outside, while still growing up without the emotional attunement needed to feel understood, protected, and free to experience their natural emotions. Vincent and Jacob discuss how children develop a sense of self in relationship to other people. Through processes such as affect mirroring, caregivers help children understand what they are feeling and teach them that their emotional experience makes sense. When that reflection is absent, inconsistent, or met with emotional distance, a child may begin to suppress their natural reactions in order to preserve connection. Over time, this can affect the development of identity. Rather than learning, “This is what I feel, this is what I need, and my internal experience makes sense,” the child may learn to look outside themselves for cues about who they should be. Their natural emotions and impulses can begin to feel unsafe, excessive, inconvenient, or wrong. For many people, one adaptation is intellectualization. Instead of fully experiencing emotions, they analyze them. They may become highly self-aware, reflective, articulate, or skilled at understanding other people, while remaining disconnected from their own needs and emotional impulses. Thinking becomes safer than feeling. These patterns can become especially noticeable in adult relationships. Watch the full episode to learn more about healing emotional neglect. DISCLAIMER: The content in this podcast and video is provided for educational purposes only and is not intended to diagnose, treat, or replace professional mental health or medical care. If you are experiencing significant psychological distress or are seeking treatment for trauma or other mental health concerns, consider speaking with a qualified healthcare professional.
September 21 · 18 min
Why CPTSD Makes You Feel Guilty About Everything
Full Episode on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/2dudestalkintherapy Why can guilt feel so intense after complex trauma—even when you logically know you haven’t done anything wrong? In this episode, psychologists Dr. Jacob Ambrose and Dr. Vincent Barbieri explore the connection between complex trauma (CPTSD), guilt, and shame, and explain why these emotions can become deeply ingrained after years of emotional neglect, criticism, abuse, or unpredictable relationships. We explore why people with complex trauma can feel responsible for other people’s emotions, why forgiveness and reassurance can sometimes feel threatening, and how trying desperately not to become a “burden” can lead to emotional suppression, overwhelm, and even greater guilt. We also discuss how these patterns can increase vulnerability to manipulation and shape the kinds of relationships that feel familiar or “safe.” Finally, we explore how to begin changing your relationship with guilt, separating genuine responsibility from trauma-based shame, validating your emotional experience, and building hope that the patterns you learned to survive do not have to define the rest of your life. If you’ve ever felt guilty for having needs, struggled to believe reassurance from other people, or felt like your emotions make you an inconvenience, this episode is for you. Chapters: 00:09 Complex Trauma and Guilt 02:13 Changing Your Relationship to Guilt 06:58 Ted Lasso and Forgiveness 10:33 The Threat of Forgiveness 14:02 Overwhelmed by Coping Mechanisms 15:42 Susceptibility to Manipulation 22:50 A Roadmap Out 28:57 Emotional Neglect 36:49 How To Build Hope
September 14 · 41 min
Ep. 52: Improving Self Worth | 2 Dudes Talkin' Therapy
Subscribe to our patreon for more exclusive content-- Patreon Subscription Link: https://www.patreon.com/c/2dudestalkintherapy Dr. Jacob Ambrose and Dr. Vincent Barbieri are psychologists who specialize in helping people better understand themselves, their relationships, and the patterns that shape how they see themselves. In this episode, they break down what self-worth actually is, why childhood experiences, shame, and unhealthy relationships can make you question your value, and the practical steps you can take to build a healthier sense of self-worth. They explore why tying your worth to achievements or other people creates instability, how low self-worth can keep you stuck in relationships that reinforce old wounds, and why developing boundaries, self-empathy, and trust in your own reality are essential parts of healing. They also explain why growth can initially feel uncomfortable—and why learning to tolerate doubt while changing old patterns may actually be a sign that your sense of self-worth is becoming stronger. #selfworth #selfesteem #relationships #relationshipadvice #psychology #mentalhealth #healing #shame #boundaries #selflove #attachment #childhoodtrauma #peoplepleasing #emotionalhealing #therapy #personalgrowth #selfrespect
September 7 · 18 min
Dating With Insecure Attachment
Many people find that they are either too distant or too desperate during the dating process. These patterns often have deeper roots in attachment, nervous system responses, past relationship experiences, and for some, neurodivergence. ADHD and other forms of neurodivergence can intensify experiences like rejection sensitivity, hyperfocus, impulsivity, emotional intensity, and difficulty regulating uncertainty in relationships. Combined with anxious or avoidant attachment patterns, dating can quickly become a cycle of chasing, withdrawing, overthinking, or feeling overwhelmed by connection. Watch this episode to learn more about the underlying reasons these patterns occur, how attachment and neurodivergence can shape the dating process, and how to begin navigating relationships in a healthier and more secure way. #DatingAdvice #AttachmentStyles #AnxiousAttachment #AvoidantAttachment #SecureAttachment #ADHDRelationships #ADHDInAdults #Neurodivergent #Neurodivergence #DatingWithADHD #RejectionSensitivity #RelationshipPsychology #AttachmentTheory #DatingPsychology #HealthyRelationships #EmotionalRegulation #RelationshipAdvice
August 31 · 23 min
Ep. 50: ADHD in Women
Full Episode Only On Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/2dudestalkintherapy What if your experiences of rejection sensitivity, attachment insecurity in relationships, limerence, burnout, imposter syndrome, and extreme executive dysfunction were never fully because of your ADHD, but were more so the result of countless moments of rejection and wounding from a society that never understood you? This episode covers the impact of being a woman with ADHD in a neurotypical world that is often at odds with your own neurochemistry. While ADHD is already penalized in a society that is increasingly corporate, boxed-in, and productivity-focused, being a woman with ADHD creates a unique intersectionality that can leave you up against an even more punishing environment—one where the oxygen you breathe is the air of criticism. In this episode, Dr. Jacob Ambrose and Dr. Vincent Barbieri cover the impact of being a woman with ADHD in a neurotypical society that often punishes women with ADHD for their greatest gifts. Mental health risk factors are covered, along with the impact of being a woman with ADHD at work, in friendships, and finally, in the arena of dating. Share your thoughts, and make sure to catch the full episode on Patreon. #WomenWithADHD #ADHDInWomen #AdultADHD #LateDiagnosedADHD #ADHDWomen #NeurodivergentWomen #ADHDMasking #RejectionSensitivity #ExecutiveDysfunction #ADHDBurnout #ImposterSyndrome #Limerence #AttachmentInsecurity #ADHDRelationships #ADHDAwareness #Neurodiversity #MentalHealthPodcast #WomenAndADHD #ADHDHealing #TraumaInformed
August 23 · 42 min
Ep: 49 How to Become Securely Attached
Join our Patreon: patreon.com/2dudestalkintherapyTune in to discover the path toward secure attachment.In conversations about attachment, there is often a great deal of focus on what anxious, avoidant, and fearful-avoidant attachment look like. Yet the most overlooked attachment style is often secure attachment.When we do not talk enough about secure attachment, people may never get the opportunity to see what relational health actually looks like when it is modeled in real life.In this episode, Dr. Jacob Ambrose and Dr. Vincent Barbieri explore secure attachment in depth, combining theoretical concepts with practical, accessible examples. They also discuss ways you can begin practicing more secure patterns in your own relationships.Watch the full episode to gain insight into your attachment patterns and discover educational tools that may help you move toward greater security.Click the link in our bio to watch the full episode and subscribe to our Patreon for more educational content on attachment, relationships, trauma, and neurodivergence.#SecureAttachment #AttachmentStyles #AttachmentTheory #AnxiousAttachment #AvoidantAttachment #FearfulAvoidant #DisorganizedAttachment #HealthyRelationships #RelationshipHealing #EmotionalSafety #TraumaHealing #MentalHealthEducation #PsychologyPodcast #RelationshipAdvice #TwoDudesTalkinTherapy
August 17 · 17 min
Fearful Attachment
In this episode, Dr. Jacob and Dr. Vinny take a deep dive into fearful-avoidant attachment, a pattern often discussed in relation to disorganized attachment. Full episode on patreon: https://www.patreon.com/2dudestalkintherapy They explore the foundations of attachment research, including Mary Ainsworth’s Strange Situation Procedure and the later introduction of the disorganized attachment classification by Mary Main and Judith Solomon. The conversation also examines how fearful and disorganized attachment patterns may overlap with—or sometimes be mistaken for—experiences associated with borderline personality disorder, ADHD, autism, and complex trauma. These connections are discussed carefully, without treating attachment styles as diagnoses or assuming that everyone with one of these conditions will have the same attachment pattern. Finally, Dr. Jacob and Dr. Vinny explore possible paths toward healing, including: Developing greater emotional awareness Building safer and more consistent relationships Working through approach–avoidance patterns Gradually learning that intimacy can feel both close and safe Share your thoughts in the comments, and watch the full episode by subscribing to our Patreon through the link in our bio. #FearfulAvoidantAttachment #DisorganizedAttachment #AttachmentStyles #AttachmentTheory #ComplexTrauma #CPTSD #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #ADHD #Autism #Relationships
August 10 · 16 min
Ep: 47 Trauma & Dissociation
***Full Episode on Patreon*** In this episode, Dr. Jacob Ambrose and Dr. Vincent Barbieri discuss the relationship between trauma and dissociation, including the many ways traumatic experiences can lead to dissociation as a coping strategy. Dissociation can show up mentally, emotionally, physically, and behaviorally. It may involve feeling disconnected from yourself, your emotions, your memories, your surroundings, or even other people. While dissociation can eventually become disruptive, it is also important to understand why it developed in the first place. For many people who have experienced trauma, dissociation was once a necessary way of psychologically escaping a reality that did not feel safe or manageable. We explore how dissociation develops, what dissociation can feel like, and the different ways trauma can affect memory, emotions, identity, relationships, and everyday functioning. We also discuss complex trauma and CPTSD, including what happens when trauma is chronic rather than isolated, and how healing may require more than simply trying to eliminate symptoms. Finally, we explore the intersection between trauma and neurodivergence, including how ADHD and autism may interact with traumatic experiences, emotional regulation, overwhelm, and dissociation. Topics discussed include: • Trauma and dissociation • Signs and symptoms of dissociation • Dissociation as a trauma response • Complex PTSD (CPTSD) • Emotional numbness and feeling disconnected • Depersonalization and derealization • Trauma and memory • Childhood trauma • Chronic trauma and the nervous system • ADHD and trauma • ADHD and dissociation • Autism and trauma • Neurodivergence and CPTSD • Emotional regulation • Healing trauma and dissociation This content is provided for educational purposes and is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment, diagnosis, or medical advice. #Trauma #Dissociation #CPTSD #ComplexPTSD #ChildhoodTrauma #TraumaHealing #MentalHealth #ADHD #Autism #Neurodivergent #Depersonalization #Derealization #PTSD #Psychology #Therapy
July 31 · 43 min
Exploring Complex Trauma
For those living with CPTSD (complex post-traumatic stress disorder), you know what it is like to experience reality in a way that others often do not understand. It can feel like an upside-down experience shaped by an upside-down childhood—one in which you had to continually reorient yourself to navigate a painful, unpredictable, or unsafe emotional landscape. In this episode, Dr. Jacob Ambrose and Dr. Vincent Barbieri discuss how chronic and complex traumatic experiences can lead to the development of protective nervous system responses. The nervous system learns to anticipate danger, detect potential threats, and brace for the emotional “tripwires” associated with past trauma. Although these responses may have been necessary for survival, the anticipation of past trauma can later interfere with a person’s ability to feel safe in healthy environments. Hope can feel terrifying. Emotional numbness can feel safer than vulnerability. Relationships can feel uncomfortable or threatening because allowing another person to hold emotional power may seem ineffective, dangerous, or unreasonable when safety was repeatedly withheld during childhood. Throughout the episode, Dr. Ambrose and Dr. Barbieri explore strategies for understanding and navigating these experiences through thoughtful discussion, relatable analogies, and validation of the core pain points associated with CPTSD. We would love to hear your thoughts and have you become part of our growing community. Make sure to like the episode, subscribe to the channel, leave a comment, and join our Patreon for additional conversations and resources. This content is intended for educational and informational purposes only. It is not a substitute for individualized mental health care, diagnosis, or treatment. #CPTSD #ComplexPTSD #ComplexTrauma #ChildhoodTrauma #TraumaHealing #NervousSystemRegulation #MentalHealth #EmotionalHealing #TraumaRecovery #AttachmentTrauma #InnerChildHealing #PsychologyPodcast #TherapyPodcast #HealingJourney #EmotionalNeglect CPTSD, complex PTSD, complex post-traumatic stress disorder, complex trauma, CPTSD symptoms, CPTSD healing, childhood trauma, childhood emotional neglect, trauma recovery, trauma healing, nervous system regulation, trauma response, hypervigilance, emotional numbness, fear of hope, attachment trauma, relationship trauma, childhood survival responses, healing the nervous system, how trauma affects relationships, why healthy relationships feel unsafe, feeling safer when numb, complex trauma podcast, psychology podcast, mental health podcast, Dr. Jacob Ambrose, Dr. Vincent Barbieri
July 3 · 20 min
Ep: 45 Live Patreon Q&A
Dr. Vincent Barbieri and Dr. Jacob Ambrose answer live questions from patreon subscribers during this episode. If you'd like to join the next live feed then make sure to subscribe to our patreon https://www.patreon.com/2dudestalkintherapy #therapy #podcast #psychology #adhd #nervoussystemregulation #neurodivergent #cptsd #traumainformed #selfhelp
June 28 · 39 min
ADHD And CPTSD: Episode 44
On this episode. Dr. Jacob and Dr. Vincent Barbieri talk about the differences and overlap between ADHD and Complex Trauma. They begin by describing how CPTSD is a more outcome focused kind of diagnosis whereas ADHD is more centered on mechanical like differences. They then cover midway what it feels like to have ADHD and Complex Trauma, validating the experience of both. Finally healing with these diagnoses are disucssed later on in the episode. #complextrauma #adhd #therapy #mentalhealth #podcast #psychology
June 17 · 42 min
Ep. 43: Regulating Your Nervous System
Tune into this episode where Dr. Jacob and Dr. Vincent Barbieri describe the most effective ways to regulate and rewire your nervous system, especially when you have issues in the realm of attachment and trauma. Ways of healing anxious attachment, healing avoidant attachment, and healing dismissive avoidant (or fearful attachment) are discussed in great length through the use of analogies and practical tools patreon.com/2dudestalkintherapy subscribe for exclusive content!#nervoussystemregulation #anxiousattachment #attachmenttheory #therapy #psychology #drjay #drv
June 8 · 19 min
Complex PTSD Patreon Episode
Complex PTSD in all its complexity is discussed in this episode. Catch the first 20 minutes of this episode to learn how CPTSD alters your overall sense of self while also distorts your perception of reality. In this episode the consequences of CPTSD-- dissociation, loss of identity, emotional dysregulation, numbing, etc. are discussed in great detail as well and while healing is nuanced solutions are also covered. For the full episode make sure to subscribe to our patreon! #cptsd #therapy #ptsd #trauma #complextrauma
May 31 · 41 min
Spirituality
In this episode, Dr. Vincent Barbieri and Dr. Jacob Ambrose explore spirituality through the lens of psychology and the whole person. They discuss how attachment theory connects with Christianity, Zen spirituality, emotional health, and the deeper search for meaning. This vulnerable conversation blends philosophy, spiritual belief, and psychological insight—offering a thoughtful look at how our inner world shapes the way we connect with ourselves, others, and God. #spirituality #psychology #therapy #attachment #zen #philosophy
May 19 · 40 min
Vulnerability
In this episode, Dr. Jacob and Dr. Vincent take a deep dive into the concept of vulnerability. The episode begins with a personal and vulnerable story from Jacob and Vinny, then moves into the nuances of healthy versus unhealthy vulnerability. They also discuss the weaponization of vulnerability, especially as it relates to the struggles many people experience with anxious attachment. Finally, vulnerability is explored in a way that challenges the common assumption that being vulnerable always means “sharing more” or “expressing more.” Instead, vulnerability is framed as the discomfort of moving away from familiar patterns that keep us protected. From this perspective, sharing more can be a form of self-protection for some people and an act of vulnerability for others. Share your thoughts, and make sure to subscribe to our channel! #Vulnerability #HealthyVulnerability #EmotionalVulnerability #AnxiousAttachment #AttachmentStyles #AttachmentTheory #Relationships #DatingAdvice #MentalHealth #Therapy #Psychology #TherapistsOfInstagram #EmotionalHealth #SelfProtection #HealingJourney #TwoDudesTalkinTherapy #DrJacobAmbrose #DrVincentBarbieri
May 12 · 19 min
Overthinking
Watch to learn how to stop overthinking! In addition during this episode we cover the roots of overthinking, some of the maintaining factors, along with the most common shadow wounds of many who overthink. The full episode can be found on our Patreon account. Make sure to subscribe to get this episode and more exclusive content, and finally as a way to support our work! Thanks Yall! #overthinking #psychologypodcast #anxiety #selfhelp
May 5 · 43 min
Feeling Seen
In this episode we cover the subject of being seen. What does being seen in relationships actually look like? A key distinction made in this episode is the difference between simple validation and truly seeing another individual. The struggles of those with Borderline Personality Disorder are also covered as it relates to often feeling unseen and invalidated across contexts. Make sure to subscribe for our exclusive content!
April 22 · 41 min
The Psychology Of Attraction
What actually drives attraction? In this episode, Dr. Jacob Ambrose and Dr. Vincent Barbieri explore the deeper psychology behind attraction, dating dynamics, and the hidden forces that shape who we pursue in relationships. The conversation begins by breaking down the core psychological and biological drivers of attraction—including the emotional and nervous system signals that influence who we feel drawn to. From there, the discussion moves into some of the most common mistakes people make while dating, including why people repeatedly fall for unhealthy partners such as narcissistic or avoidant types. A major theme of this episode is a powerful idea: safety is the prerequisite for attraction. Many men unintentionally undermine attraction by signaling instability, emotional reactivity, or pressure—dynamics that can activate a woman’s threat detection system rather than her attraction system. Dr. Ambrose and Dr. Barbieri also explore: • Why attraction often develops around emotional safety, not just confidence • Why people repeatedly fall for narcissistic or avoidant partners • The psychological mistakes many men make when trying to attract women • Why nervous system regulation matters in dating • The hidden dynamics of anxious and avoidant attachment styles • How safety, attraction, and emotional signals interact in relationships Using pop culture references, real-world examples, and psychological frameworks, this episode walks through the most common relational patterns people experience while dating—and how understanding them can change the way we approach attraction and relationships. If you’ve ever wondered why attraction feels confusing, unpredictable, or painful, this conversation will give you a deeper lens into what’s actually happening beneath the surface. Share your thoughts in the comments and let us know what topics you'd like us to explore next. #Psychology #AttractionPsychology #DatingPsychology #AttachmentTheory #Relationships #AnxiousAttachment #AvoidantAttachment #ModernDating #MenAndWomen #DatingAdvice #EmotionalSafety #NervousSystem #PsychologyPodcast #MentalHealth #HumanBehavior
April 17 · 19 min
Mens Mental Health
Catch the full episdoe by subscribing to our patreon! A lot of conversations about men today fall into two extremes. On one side, men are told their struggles are simply privilege.On the other side, the manosphere tells men the world is against them and they need to dominate it to be worth anything. Neither path actually heals men. In this video we talk about the men who often go unseen — the ones quietly dealing with shame, rejection sensitivity, attachment wounds, and the pressure to appear strong even when they feel completely alone. We explore how these patterns form psychologically, why so many men struggle with intimacy and emotional expression, and what real healing actually looks like. This conversation is about responsibility without shame, strength without emotional suppression, and building a healthier model of masculinity that allows men to grow instead of collapse into resentment or silence. If you’re a man trying to understand yourself better — or someone who wants to better understand the men in your life — this conversation is for you. #MensMentalHealth#Masculinity#MaleLoneliness#AttachmentTheory#Psychology#MentalHealthForMen#ModernMasculinity#MalePsychology#EmotionalHealth#SelfDevelopment
April 6 · 43 min
Good Therapy VS Bad Therapy
What does good therapy vs. bad therapy actually look like inside the therapy room?In this episode, Dr. Jacob Ambrose and Dr. Vincent Barbieri open an important conversation about the role of discomfort in therapy—and why discomfort can sometimes signal growth, while other times it may signal that something in the process may not be working.We explore how therapists can serve as a strong psychological container for their clients: not rushing to intervene out of anxiety or filling silence out of discomfort, but also not abandoning direction entirely.Good therapy often lives in the balance between two tensions:• Comfort with stillness and uncertainty• Maintaining a clear intention and treatment directionWhen therapists can hold both, the therapy space becomes a place where meaningful change can happen.If you’ve ever wondered what healthy therapy dynamics should feel like—or how to recognize when something isn’t quite right—this conversation is for you.🎧 Tune in and share your thoughts in the comments.#therapy #psychology #mentalhealth #psychotherapy #therapist #therapyinsights #mentalhealtheducation #psychologydiscussion #therapyprocess #healingjourney #goodtherapy #badtherapy #therapytalks

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