THE PDA PARENT PODCAST

Calm Parenting Podcast

What if most of what we’ve been told about PDA actually keeps our kids stuck — and there’s a better way to help them thrive? Host Kirk Martin, a PDA dad with a PDA son, shares insights, strategies, and real-life experience to help your child with PDA grow confidence and capacity — without force, avoidance, or walking on eggshells. Visit https://CelebrateCalm.com/PDA to learn more.

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25 episodes
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English

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Tuesday · 15 min
You Do Not Have to Active Or Accommodate Your PDA Child—There Is A Middle Ground #28
Have you been told that your only two choices with a PDA child are to either "activate" their nervous system or "accommodate" them to keep the peace? This rigid framework leaves parents walking on eggshells and kids feeling helpless. Instead of oscillating between controlling your child and surrendering through endless accommodations, you can guide them through discomfort, normalize their anxiety, and collaboratively solve problems without triggering trauma. Let’s learn to do this! P.S. Want personal mentoring with me and extra insights like this about your child? Go through the PDA Parent Program at https://celebratecalm.com/pda. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
September 29 · 20 min
Worried About Your PDA Child & Social Skills? Hope & A Different Perspective. #27
When our PDA kids opt out of group chats, sit alone at lunch, or skip school assemblies, our immediate parental reaction is to worry and try to "fix" their social skills. But what if we're measuring them against the wrong standard entirely? Instead of viewing social retreat purely as a deficit, we explore how PDA kids often possess incredible self-awareness, a low tolerance for superficial drama, and a unique ability to thrive in one-on-one, real-world adult environments rather than chaotic peer settings. P.S. Want personal mentoring with me and extra insights like this about your child? Go through the PDA Parent Program at https://celebratecalm.com/pda. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
September 15 · 6 min
What Your PDA Child Desperately Wants You to Know About Their Lives #26
When I resist, it’s not because I need control—it’s because I’ve had none. I’m not trying to make your lives harder. I’m trying to protect something essential inside me." In this short, but powerful episode, you will gain deep insight into what your child with PDA is really thinking and feeling. Please share with others. Want personal mentoring with me and extra insights about your child? Go through the PDA Parent Program at https://celebratecalm.com/pda. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
August 25 · 32 min
Is PDA Really A Nervous System Disability? The Answer Has Profound Consequences. #25
I completely understand why empathetic parents and experts would claim that PDA is a nervous system disability. But I think it can lead to kids feeling a loss of autonomy, parents feeling paralyzed with indecision, and endless accommodations that make kids feel helpless instead of competent and confident. If PDA is not a nervous system disability, that is GOOD NEWS because it means we have more ways to help the kids we love so much. Want personal mentoring with me and extra insights about your child? Go through the PDA Parent Program at https://celebratecalm.com/pda. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
August 11 · 8 min
The Secret to Motivate PDA Kids Internally When They Reject Every External Demand #24
Constant demand avoidance can leave you feeling exhausted and stuck. But behind the refusal lies an utterly fascinating internal world where your kids are building, tinkering, creating, designing, and wrestling with big ideas. Many kids with PDA are secretly pushing and challenging themselves in ways no external reward or consequence could ever match. Discover how shifting your perspective from "external compliance" to "internal drive" helps tap into your child's natural, self-directed motivation. Want personal mentoring with me and extra insights about your child? Go through the PDA Parent Program at https://celebratecalm.com/pda. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
July 28 · 8 min
Dads: 8 Minutes To Become The Calm, Authoritative Leader Your Kids & Wife Respect #23
When your child digs refuses to listen, your instinct as a Dad is just like mine was: “I can’t let this kid get away with this. How will this child ever succeed in life?” That standard playbook backfires with these kids. So like a good quarterback, we call an audible to a play that works better. I promise if you will take on this challenge to try a different approach, it will become the greatest and most satisfying adventure of your life. It will change you, your child, and your family. Get personal mentoring with me through the PDA Parent Program at https://celebratecalm.com/pda. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
July 21 · 24 min
I Am Concerned Our PDA Kids Won’t Launch In the Real World. Alternatives to Screens & Burnout. #22
I don’t do fear with parenting, but I am genuinely concerned about mainstream PDA advice that is handicapping many of our kids and robbing them of their childhood. Some recommend letting kids stay isolated in bedrooms and on screens for months. If this doesn’t sit right with you, then I want to provide some alternatives that I believe are actually more compassionate for our kids. I hope you will share this raw, unfiltered episode. Get personal mentoring with me through the PDA Parent Program at https://celebratecalm.com/pda. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
June 30 · 25 min
Everything Can Be Challenging With A Child with PDA! #21
What other parents take for granted can be a huge struggle for your child—and for you. Because you are likely that exhausted caregiver just trying to get through the day. I want to give you specific actions steps and the process we use to address tough issues like potty training, hygiene, eating, and more. I think you’ll find this case study practical and insightful. To get this kind of personal mentoring for your specific challenges, go through the PDA Parent Program at https://CelebrateCalm.com/PDA See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
June 23 · 17 min
4 Options for Handling Tough Situations With PDA Kids #20
Your kids are going to resist, feel anxious about, want to quit, or refuse to try new experiences such as summer camp. There isn't just one way to handle this and it won't always work. And that's okay. I share four real life case studies to demonstrate how different parents and different kids responded to tough situations. I hope you find this insightful, practical, and encouraging. To get this kind of personal mentoring for your specific challenges, go through the PDA Parent Program at https://CelebrateCalm.com/PDA See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
June 16 · 6 min
PDA Kids Demanding & Saying Mean Things? 7 Minutes, 1 Big Idea. #19
Your child yells and demands that you bring them food or do something for them, and when you do, they berate you for not doing it right. The conventional wisdom is that your only options are to accommodate your child or you’ll trigger their nervous system. Those are NOT the only options—those are the extremes! I want to give you a middle ground so that you are not left feeling like a punching bag, walking on eggshells around your own child. In this 7-minute episode, I give you scripts and action steps to handle these tough situations with respect and dignity. If you want personal mentoring with me, get the PDA Parent Program at https://CelebrateCalm.com/PDA. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
June 2 · 11 min
Ask Your Child If You Have Pathological Demand Acceptance? #18
Many parents going through our PDA Parent Program said this question has helped them see their child with PDA in a completely different way and changed their relationship. A Dad said he’s been so busy trying to please others that he was embarrassed about his son’s behavior—this helped reframe how he saw his child’s demand avoidance. This is a short, but powerful episode I hope you’ll share with others. If you want personal mentoring with me, go to https://CelebrateCalm.com/PDA. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
May 26 · 30 min
Getting PDA Kids To Dentist, On Plane (I Disagree with “Not Won’t. Can’t.”) #17
How can you get kids with PDA to do hard things like go to the dentist or get on an airplane? The common sentiment, “Not Won’t. Can’t” can be debilitating for our kids when it becomes the reflexive response. In this episode, I give you alternate scripts and options to build your child’s confidence in the toughest situations. Get personal mentoring with me through the PDA Parent Program at https://celebratecalm.com/pda. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
May 19 · 32 min
PDA Kids Who Feel Wronged: 8 Ways To Deal With Unfairness & Losing At Board Games #16
Do you have a child with PDA who struggles with feeling wronged, who misinterprets others’ intentions, or who doesn’t deal well with unfairness like a brother getting a bigger scoop of ice cream or losing at board games? I want to give you very specific scripts and action steps to help your kids (and yourself!) to learn how to deal with unfairness, losing, and disappointment in life. Get personal mentoring with me through the PDA Parent Program at https://celebratecalm.com/pda See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
May 12 · 27 min
When Your PDA Child Struggles With Authority Figures At School #15
Your kids will and should struggle with a more authoritarian approach at school. They may roll their eyes at a teacher or resist that “because I said so” mentality. I want to give you some insight you can share with your child’s teachers AND a script your kids can use to advocate for themselves in a healthy way. Get personal mentoring with me through the PDA Parent Program at https://celebratecalm.com/pda See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
May 5 · 34 min
PDA & School: How To Help Teachers Help Your Child #14
How can we help teachers understand PDA? What specific tools will help our kids with PDA in the classroom? What is really important and what isn’t? I give you scripts and practical strategies. Get personal mentoring with me through the PDA Parent Program athttps://celebratecalm.com/pda See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
April 24 · 18 min
Should You Let Your Kids Demand That You Bring Them Food? #13
I want to give you reasonable alternatives to delivering food to your child’s room AND a challenge that may or may not work…but would be fascinating to try! Get personal mentoring with me through the PDA Parent Program at https://celebratecalm.com/pda/ See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
April 21 · 22 min
Why Your Child’s Fierce Autonomy is Good & How to Get Husbands/Siblings To Understand #12
If you misunderstand your child’s motives and need for autonomy, it will provoke fierce defiance, pain, and pushback. I want to show you exactly how to help kids who don’t always want to be helped; help siblings who may not understand why you give your child accommodations; and help a spouse who is reluctant and thinks you’re just letting your child get away with things. Get personal mentoring with me through the PDA Parent Program at https://celebratecalm.com/pda/ See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
April 10 · 27 min
Child Won’t Go Anywhere, Rejects School Work #11
You have been here before. You may be in this situation now. Your child has shut down and refuses to do anything. You can’t force, bribe, convince, or threaten. But I don’t want you to feel helpless. I share a real world case study with some big insights and strategies that may help you help your child feel confident and successful again. Get personal mentoring with me through the PDA Parent Program at https://celebratecalm.com/pda/ See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
April 3 · 9 min
Motivating A PDA Child? Discover What They Care About #10
Your kids will take risks, be vulnerable, do hard things, and use their big hearts when they care about something. But it can’t be at your urging and they don’t value the same things you do. So let’s discover how to internally motivate them! Get personal mentoring with me through the PDA Parent Program at https://celebratecalm.com/pda/ See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
March 27 · 23 min
PDA, Perfectionism, Physical Illness & School Refusal #9
Do you have a child with PDA who struggles with perfectionism? This will cause our kids to lash out, get stuck, shut down, and be extremely frustrated. I want to give you 12 insights, action steps, and scripts to help your kids. For more information, visit https://celebratecalm.com/pda/ See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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