The Paula Faris Show

That Sounds Fun Network

Join Emmy-Award winning journalist, Founder of CARRY™ and America’s most curious mom, Paula Faris, as she and her frequent co-host, husband John, talk about the hottest topics that parents are talking about. This listener driven show tackles your big questions: "When to have the sex talk with my kid? Why are we fighting about the dishes again? How can I juggle work and life? Why are teenagers and toddlers so hard?" If you’re talking about it, Paula is talking about it in a real, relatable and authentic manner. Join Paula as she engages in a conversation style of no sugar coating, authenticity and keeping it real. She will have you laughing and learning. Life Happens. Let's Talk About It!

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Tuesday · 28 min
Are We All Control Freaks?
Am I a control freak? Absolutely. 😂 But here’s the question I wanted to talk about with my good friend, NYT bestselling author Lysa TerKeurst: Aren’t we ALL a little bit controlling? And is control actually a bad thing? All month long, we’re talking about control and how it shows up in our lives, especially as women. Because the constant need for control wreaks havoc on our bodies, our social health, and our relationships (hello, just wrapped that series!). Lysa just wrote another best-selling book about it. To kick off this series, we’re talking about the fine line between responsibility and control, what happens to our bodies, our anxiety, and our relationships when we’re constantly trying to control what we can’t. Here’s the tension, especially for me: control gets things done. It pays the bills. It gets kids to practice. It creates order and builds businesses. So… are we control freaks? Or are we just really responsible women trying to keep everything from falling apart? Let’s talk about it. Listen in to learn more: 0:04:58 — Control Is Often Rooted in Fear 0:07:31 — The Paper-Thin Line Between Responsibility and Control 0:10:16 — You Can’t Save People From Their Own Choices 0:11:55 — Control Is Fear Disguised as Strength 0:13:17 — Lead Without Micromanaging 0:15:37 — Responsibility Gets Things Done, Not Control 0:16:35 — Control Creates Anxiety and Relationship Tension 0:19:49 — Know Where Your Responsibility Ends In this episode, we are digging into why we try to control people and circumstances in our lives, what drives the need for control, whether control is always a bad thing, the difference between responsibility and control, why attempts to control others don’t give us the results we want, the emotional and relational weight of control, the difference between healthy leadership and control, and real-life signs of control issues. LINKS and RESOURCES: Connect with Paula on Instagram Paula’s Newsletter is on Substack!! THE CARRY ALL weekly newsletter is on Substack!! Paula’s Book: You Don’t Have To Carry It All Connect with Lysa on Instagram Lysa’s New Book: Making Peace with What I Can’t Control Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
September 29 · 43 min
When Is A Friendship Worth Saving?
When do you fight for a friendship and when do you walk away? For the finale of our series on social health, Liz Bohannon and I are putting on our Dear Abby hats and tackling the friendship questions you sent us: conflict, exclusion, betrayal, gossip, growing apart, toxic friendships, and the heartbreak of losing someone you've loved for years. What if you've simply outgrown your friend group? What if one misunderstanding threatens to end a friendship? What do you do when you feel left out—or when a friend seems to be pulling other people into side conversations without you? And what happens when you're caught in the middle of two friends who aren't speaking? We also hear from a woman whose 17-year friendship ended after a relationship became toxic, and she says she's never let anyone that close again. How do you protect yourself without closing yourself off? Liz and I get into the messy, uncomfortable reality of friendship: when to have the hard conversation, when to give someone another chance, and when it's time to let go. And maybe the biggest question of all: What does a healthy friendship actually require of us? Because friendship is one of the most important investments we can make in our health and our lives. So let's talk about which relationships are worth fighting for and which ones aren't. Listen in to learn more: 0:05:01 — It’s Never Too Late to Invest in Friendship 0:07:27 — Gossip Destroys Trust and Relational Safety 0:10:31 — Name the Unmet Longing Instead of Outgrowing the Friendship 0:15:18 — Healthy Friendships Can Handle Conflict 0:20:00 — Make Generous Assumptions Before Assuming the Worst 0:24:01 — Use “I” Statements to Create Space for Repair 0:27:30 — A Friendship After Conflict Won’t Be the Same, But It Can Be Better 0:28:53 — When Repair Keeps Failing, It May Be Time to Walk Away 0:31:12 — Friendship Breakups Are Real Heartbreak 0:32:17 — Don’t Let One Toxic Friendship Cost You Future Connection In this episode, we are diving into when a friendship is worth saving, how to set a zero-tolerance policy for gossip in friendship, working through conflict and the importance of repair in healthy relationships, healthy communication in naming your needs and unmet longings with your friends, the heartbreak of ending a long-term friendship, what makes a friendship toxic, and when it’s time to walk away. Download Liz’s 4-step process: how to have the hard conversations. SEEDS: Download the free SEEDS app and take one small step today: plant your first seed and see what God can grow. Connect with Paula on Instagram Paula’s Newsletter is on Substack!! THE CARRY ALL weekly newsletter is on Substack!! Paula’s Book: You Don’t Have To Carry It All Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
September 22 · 38 min
SOCIAL HEALTH: Why Friendship Gets Harder As We Get Older
Why do our circles tend to get smaller as we get older? You told us your struggles about moving and finding yourself far away from the people you love. About how much harder it is to make new friends. About feeling excluded. And about the surprisingly complicated question of what happens when you love your friend but don't love their kids. So in Episode 4 of our series on social health, Liz Bohannon and I are tackling a question so many of you asked: Why does friendship get harder as we get older? And how many friends do we really need? Is it that we have less time? That our lives get more complicated? That our standards change? Or are we doing something else that makes friendship harder than it needs to be? Liz has a fascinating framework for thinking about this—and it made me rethink everything from how much we should expect from different friendships to how much agreement we actually need from the people in our lives. We also get into the different “circles” of friendship, why you can be surrounded by people and still feel lonely, and what to do when the friendships you want don't fit neatly into your life anymore. And we tackle the question so many of us have faced: Do I need to find new friends or do I need to rethink the friendships I already have? Let’s Talk About It. Listen in to learn more : 0:01:10 Social Health Revolution: Friendship as Longevity Superpower 0:03:20 Why Friendship Feels Harder With Age: Moves, Seasons, Exclusion 0:05:00 Not a “You” Problem: How School Systems Once Did the Work for Us 0:09:30 Proximity Power: Urban Commune & Designing Life Around Friends 0:13:40 Alignment Rules: High-Intimacy Requires High-Agreement 0:16:30 Book Club Moms: When Curiosity Matters More Than Compatibility 0:19:40 Beyond Echo Chambers: Resisting Moral Narcissism and Fear of Difference 0:24:00 Dunbar’s Circles: Intimates, Close Friends, Friends, Acquaintances 0:27:10 80/20 Social Energy Rule: Invest in Your Closest 10–15 People 0:30:10 When You Love the Friend but Not the Kids: Creative Third-Way Options 0:34:00 2 Paths to Relational Billionaire Status: Move to Your People or Root With Neighbors In this episode, we are digging into why making friends gets harder as we get older, how to set healthy expectations in adult friendships, how agreement and alignment within our friendships should match levels of commitment and intimacy, the different types and levels of friendship we need in our lives, and how many friendships we actually have capacity to maintain. LInks and Resources SEEDS: Download the free SEEDS app and take one small step today: plant your first seed and see what God can grow. Connect with Paula on Instagram Paula’s Newsletter is on Substack!! THE CARRY ALL weekly newsletter is on Substack!! Paula’s Book: You Don’t Have To Carry It All Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
September 15 · 37 min
SOCIAL HEALTH: How Do You Actually Find Your People?
“I just can’t find my people.” We heard some version of that over and over from you. Maybe you’ve moved. Maybe your closest friends live across the country. Maybe you have plenty of people around you, but still don’t have the kind of deep, vulnerable friendships you’re craving. So in Episode 3 of our series on social health, Liz Bohannon and I get very specific about how you actually find your people and what might be holding you back. Liz argues that if we want richer friendships, we have to get a little more “chalant.” We have to name what we're looking for, be willing to initiate, and get comfortable with the possibility of rejection. She shares how she intentionally built her own close circle and why it took about three years to find the right people. We also tackle your questions about making friends when you're constantly moving, how to turn casual friendships into deeper ones, and whether everyone really needs to be a “best friend.” And Liz has a pretty radical—and liberating—idea: you don't have to wait for your village to appear. You can create it. Let’s Talk About It. Listen in to learn more : 0:00:00 Relational Fortune Favors the Bold 0:01:05 Social Health as a Longevity Superpower 0:03:30 Three Ingredients of Deep Friendship 0:06:45 Naming Your Longings Up Front 0:11:40 Weekly Rhythm as the Path to Relational Wealth 0:18:10 Be Shallant, Not Nonchalant 0:25:00 Friendship by Design, Not by Accident 0:33:20 Proximity Over Perfect Compatibility 0:44:10 Split Emotional vs Practical Support When You Move 0:54:30 Lower the Bar, Raise the Connection 1:00:40 Treat Everyone Like a Potential Best Friend 1:06:20 Paula’s 3 Big Takeaways: Rhythm, Proximity, Naming In this episode, we are digging into establishing healthy rhythms in friendship, prioritizing proximity, naming your desires in your friendships and relationships, navigating the risk of rejection, why deep friendship requires long-term investment, and building strong friendships even when you move often. Links + Resources SEEDS: Download the free SEEDS app and take one small step today: plant your first seed and see what God can grow. Connect with Paula on Instagram Paula’s Newsletter is on Substack!! THE CARRY ALL weekly newsletter is on Substack!! Paula’s Book: You Don’t Have To Carry It All Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
September 8 · 35 min
SOCIAL HEALTH: Why am I always the one reaching Out?
Why am I always the one reaching out?” That was hands down, by far the biggest complaint we heard from you when we asked about friendship. The texts that go unanswered. The friends who say, “We need to get together!” but never actually make a plan. The feeling that if you stopped reaching out, the friendship might just… disappear. So in Episode 2 of our series on social health, Liz Bohannon and I are tackling reciprocity and asking a complicated question: Do friendships actually need to be 50/50? What should we expect from our friends? When does being the one who always initiates become exhausting? And how do you know whether you're investing in a friendship that's actually giving something back? Liz challenges the way we think about keeping score in friendship and offers a completely different framework for thinking about who reaches out, who shows up and what we're really asking of one another. If you've ever thought, “Fine. I'm done reaching out. Let's see if they ever call me…”then this episode is for you. (I’m guilty of this!) Because friendship isn't always as simple as who texted first. Let’s Talk About It. Listen in to learn more : 0:00:00 Initiation Is the Price of Admission 0:04:20 Social Health Is Your Job, Not Theirs 0:09:05 From Consumer to Co‑Creator of Connection 0:14:30 Replace Reciprocity with Long‑Term Mutual Benefit 0:19:45 When Unequal Initiation Still Works 0:25:10 Rhythms and Rituals Beat One‑Off Hangouts 0:30:20 Make Recurring Plans Your Social “Rock” 0:35:40 Handling Mismatched Commitment Like an Adult 0:41:15 Naming Your Needs with “Big Kid Words” 0:46:30 Treat Inner‑Circle Friendships Like a Marriage 0:51:00 Clear Expectations to Prevent Silent Resentment In this episode, we are diving into reciprocity in friendship and relationships, two things to consider if you are always the one initiating, how American culture shapes our view of friendship and community, mutual benefit in relationships and why that matters more than reciprocity, personal responsibility in friendship and social health, good communication with friends, and healthy expectations in friendship. Links + Resources SEEDS: Download the free SEEDS app and take one small step today: plant your first seed and see what God can grow. Connect with Paula on Instagram Paula’s Newsletter is on Substack!! THE CARRY ALL weekly newsletter is on Substack!! Paula’s Book: You Don’t Have To Carry It All YOUTUBE SEEDS: Download the free SEEDS app and take one small step today: plant your first seed and see what God can grow. https://tinyurl.com/RONSeedsApp Connect with Paula on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/paulafaris/?hl=en THE CARRY™ ALL NEWSLETTER by and for working moms is on Substack https://officialcarrymedia.substack.com/ Paula’s Newsletter is on Substack!! https://paulafarisofficial.substack.com/ Grab a copy of Paula’s book, You Don’t Have To Carry It All : https://amzn.to/4e80WyF Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
September 1 · 33 min
SOCIAL HEALTH: Why Friendship Might Matter More Than Your Diet
What if one of the most important things you can do for your health has nothing to do with what you eat, how much you exercise, or how many hours you sleep? It might be your relationships. I'm kicking off a month-long series on social health with my friend Liz Bohannon, and we're starting with the big question: Why do we treat friendship and connection like an optional extra, a “bonus”, when research suggests they're one of the strongest predictors of how long and how well we live? Liz breaks down what “social health” actually means, why it's not as soft or fluffy as it sounds, and why the quality of our relationships may matter more than we realize. Possibly more than diet, exercise and sleep (controversial, I get it!). We also talk about the uniquely American tendency to prioritize work, achievement, family and busyness while squeezing friendship into whatever time is left over. Throughout this series, Liz and I are tackling the questions and frustrations you sent us—from Why am I always the one reaching out? to How do I find my people? to When is a friendship worth saving? Because maybe the secret to living longer isn't another supplement, another workout or another diet. Maybe it's the people we do life with. Let’s Talk About It. Listen in to learn more : [0:00:26] Social Health Takes Center Stage [0:04:06] Defining Social Health Clearly [0:05:42] Data Proves Relationships Drive Longevity [0:09:25] Loneliness Compared to Heavy Smoking [0:15:18] America’s Hyper-Individualist Trap [0:18:16] Career Over Community: The “Radical” Misalignment [0:21:57] Sacrifice and Inconvenience as the Price of Friendship [0:22:58] Redefining Friendship: Grocery Aisles Over Girls’ Trips [0:25:11] One Friend Can’t Meet All Your Relational Needs [0:26:30] It’s a Design Problem, Not a You Problem [0:28:40] Move Closer to Your People, Not Just Better Schools [0:29:48] Two Choices: Go to Your People or Befriend Neighbors [0:30:29] Reciprocity as the #1 Pain Point in Friendship In this episode, we are digging into social health, the impact of relationships, friendship, and community on our longevity and overall quality of life, how culture shapes our view of relationships and connection, why we need to prioritize relationships and community instead of treating them as a bonus, practical ways to build stronger social connections when we feel lonely or disconnected, the importance of being willing to be inconvenienced for friendship, and how to adjust our expectations about friendship. LINKS SEEDS: Download the free SEEDS app and take one small step today: plant your first seed and see what God can grow. Connect with Paula on Instagram Paula’s Newsletter is on Substack!! THE CARRY ALL weekly newsletter is on Substack!! Paula’s Book: You Don’t Have To Carry It All Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
August 25 · 37 min
Mom-encholy: The Weird Grief of Watching Your Kids Grow Up.
I pulled an audible this week, and I'm so glad I did. My hubby John was supposed to join me for another episode about sending our daughter off to college. Instead, he went golfing (on a 90-degree day, no less), so I called one of my closest friends, Michelle, and asked her to jump on the podcast with about an hour's notice. You’ll love Michelle! She’s a preschool teacher, a mom of three, and a fellow mom navigating that strange middle season of parenting: one kid out of the house, two still at home, and a whole lot of feelings in between. We talk about “mom-encholy,” that bittersweet and very strange mix of pride and grief that hits when your kids grow up and leave home. We talk about parenting older kids from a little farther away, the quieter house, and why friendship has become such a lifeline. I’m learning that we can’t rush the grief or talk ourselves out of missing our kids. We have to feel it, keep moving, and more importantly, let our friends help carry it. Honestly, this was the perfect accidental episode, because next week I'm launching a month-long series on friendship, connection and social health. I can't think of a better way to begin than with one of the mamas who has reminded me what friendship is supposed to look like. Because when we’re going through something hard, the best thing we can do is call a friend. Life Happens. Let’s Talk About It. Here’s the prayer I read from Dr Roland Ashby: “Heavenly Father, I lift my children into your hands. Go into the rooms I can not walk into. Stand at the doors I am not there to lock. Guard their hearts from bitterness, their minds from fear, their bodies from harm. Lord, you see what they carry, that they will never bring home to me. The worry they decided not to mention. The thing that went wrong that they handled alone. When they are tired, be their rest. When they are unsure, be their answer. When they are far from me, do not let them be far from you. Keep them close to you even in the seasons they drift from me. And let them find out one day that somebody was praying over their whole life before they ever thought to ask. In Jesus’ name, Amen.” Listen in to learn more: [0:00:00] Calling an Audible With Michelle [0:03:32] Friendship Chemistry and Personality Clash [0:03:47] Lightning Round: Meet Michelle [0:07:02] Real-Life Paula vs Expectations [0:08:42] A Year of Show-Up Friendship [0:10:08] John’s Golf-Day Cameo [0:11:08] Naming Mom-Melancholy [0:15:13] From Helicopter to Quiet Watcher [0:18:58] Grief, Growth, and Letting Them Fly [0:20:12] Weekly Girl Time as Lifeline [0:22:38] Rethinking Coed Dorm Life [0:23:10] Inside a Pre-K Teacher’s World [0:25:26] Building Independence in Little Kids [0:28:03] Why Summer Break Keeps Shrinking [0:31:20] Gratitude for a Once-in-a-Lifetime Friend [0:33:40] A Nightly Prayer for Launched Kids In this episode, we are digging into parenting older children; the difference between first-time college drop-off and when college students return to school; encouragement for parents launching their kids or who have recently launched them; different perspectives on co-ed bathrooms in college dorms; and what back-to-school is really like for teachers. Connect with Paula on Instagram Paula’s Newsletter is on Substack!! THE CARRY ALL weekly newsletter is on Substack!! Paula’s Book: You Don’t Have To Carry It All Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
August 18 · 33 min
And Then We Drove Away
Well…we dropped Caroline off at college. And I’m not gonna lie…. it’s been a week. I knew I would be emotional. I just didn’t realize how emotional I’d be after we left. The actual drop-off was surprisingly easy. But then you come home, walk past their empty bedroom, smell their pajamas because they still smell like them (yes, I did that), and it hits you: this chapter of childhood is over. This week, John and I are talking about what it’s really been like: the pride, the sadness, the excitement and the very weird realization that our family dynamic has changed. We’re talking about how the transition affects the siblings, how much we should be checking Life360, and how you let your kid go experience this new life without emotionally hijacking it for them. And I’m also sharing some of the advice I’ve gotten from moms who have done this before, because apparently this is one of those things you just have to go through to understand. I’m learning that you can be incredibly happy for your kid and still really miss them. You can be proud and heartbroken. Cheers and tears can exist at the exact same time. So if you’ve dropped a kid at college or you’re about to—come sit with us for a little bit. We’re figuring this out, too. And maybe the only way through it is…through. Let’s Talk About It. Listen in to learn more: [0:00:00] Empty Nest Transition Hits Home [0:00:46] Coping by Wearing Daughter’s Clothes [0:01:53] Preserving Her Room as a Shrine [0:02:24] Turning College Drop-Off into a Smooth Operation [0:02:45] Clemson’s Hyper-Efficient Move-In System [0:03:20] Dining Hall Discoveries and Cafeteria Bliss In this episode, we are diving into the experience of dropping your first child off at college, navigating college move-in day and the emotions that come with it, how moms and dads experience the transition differently, how a child moving out impacts family dynamics and siblings at home, opinions on Life360 and location tracking for college students, young adults living closer to home after college, and advice from parents who have been there. LINKS Connect with Paula on Instagram Paula’s Newsletter is on Substack!! THE CARRY ALL weekly newsletter is on Substack!! Paula’s Book: You Don’t Have To Carry It All Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
August 11 · 29 min
Why Nothing Prepares You for Letting Go
As we drop off our oldest child at college this week, we’re having the conversation every family eventually faces. People try to prepare you for this moment. They really do. But I don’t think anything truly prepares you for letting go. And I want to be honest…we’re not coming at this from a place of having all the answers. This week, my husband John, our daughter Caroline, and I talk through what this transition actually feels like from both sides. Caroline tells us what she needs from us as parents (it’s probably less than we think… and more than we realize). John is handling it in his very John way, steady and practical. And me? I’m somewhere between incredibly proud and completely undone. We also share the best college advice we’ve ever received. If you’re sending a child to college or you’ve already been there, I hope this episode feels like a hug and a reminder that this isn’t the end of your relationship. It’s the beginning of a new one. And if you hear me trying not to cry… just know I didn’t succeed. Life Happens. Let’s Talk About It. Listen in to learn more: [0:01:42] Dad’s Excitement vs. Mom’s Grief-Wrapped Celebration [0:03:51] Caroline’s Request for Support and Space [0:06:21] Dorm Prep, Pinterest Boards, and Move-In Madness [0:09:39] Communication Expectations After Move-In [0:11:37] Free Meals, Church Visits, and Staying Connected [0:13:18] Setting a Fixed College Budget for All Kids [0:14:13] Learning Financial Responsibility Through College Choice [0:16:36] College Is What You Make It, Not Where You Go [0:20:24] Siblings, Changing Home Dynamics, and Goodbyes [0:21:31] The Numbers 6:24–26 Family Blessing [0:23:21] Who Do You Want to Be When You Grow Up? [0:24:16] Caroline’s Vision of the Person She Wants to Become [0:25:44] Letting Go, Trusting God, and Looking Ahead In this episode, we are digging into the emotional highs and lows of dropping a child off at college, how family members process and navigate this transition differently, practical advice for parents preparing to launch their kids, the financial realities that influence college choices, and why who our kids become matters more than the college or career paths they choose. LINKS Connect with Paula on Instagram Paula’s Newsletter is on Substack!! THE CARRY ALL weekly newsletter is on Substack!! Paula’s Book: You Don’t Have To Carry It All Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
August 4 · 31 min
Why We're Ready for School to Start
I'm back after my annual July hiatus, and we've got a lot to catch up on. John is turning 50, we checked Europe off our family's bucket list, and I'm finally learning to play golf (I am still terrible LOL). But let's be honest: as much as we love summer and our kids by August, we're ready for the routine that school brings. We're talking about birthdays, bucket-list memories, why golf might be the best family sport you've never considered, and how we’re gearing up to launch our oldest to college. Life Happens. Let’s Talk About It. Listen in to learn more : [0:00:00] July Reset & College Launch Season [0:01:06] Turning 50 and Midlife Perspective [0:02:26] Legacy of John's 90-Year-Old Dad [0:04:18] Healthy Aging in the Kruger Family [0:06:39] Entering the Empty-Nest Years [0:09:11] Asheville Getaway & Couple Time [0:10:23] Golf as a Family Connection Tool [0:13:15] Back-to-School Relief and Routine [0:15:26] Summer Sports and “Voluntary” Commitments [0:18:42] Bucket-List Europe Trip Recap [0:21:05] Airbnb Strategy for Family Travel [0:22:05] Guided E-Bike Tour in Rome Highlight [0:23:19] European Food, Activity, and Health Contrast [0:24:52] Venice’s Engineering and Charm [0:26:00] Future Golf Trip Dreams for JJ [0:26:13] Preparing Emotionally to Drop Caroline off at College In this episode, we are sharing a summer recap and reflecting on turning 50, discussing why golf is a fun way to spend quality family time, the value of shared hobbies, navigating busy summer sports schedules and practices, the excitement of a new school year and getting back into routines, plus family travel ideas and tips for making meaningful memories together. LINKS Connect with Paula on Instagram Paula’s Newsletter is on Substack!! THE CARRY ALL weekly newsletter is on Substack!! Paula’s Book: You Don’t Have To Carry It All Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
June 30 · 28 min
MOMFESSIONS: Why Youth Sports Are Out of Control (And We’re Part of the Problem)
Youth sports are out of control. And the worst part? We might be part of the problem. Spoiler alert: I know I am. I’m the mom with a packed sports calendar, a trunk full of Chick-fil-A, and a competitive streak that sometimes gets the best of me. Guilty as charged. I’m also a coach's wife, so this topic hits close to home. We’re closing out Momfessions, our month-long series where we’ve said the quiet parts of parenting out loud. And for our final confession, I’m joined once again by my teammate at CARRY Media, Kristen White, a mom of three boys. This week: Why youth sports are out of control—and why we might be part of the problem. Kids are specializing younger. Parents are spending more money than ever. And somewhere along the way, sports stopped being about kids having fun and started feeling like a full-time job for the whole family. Here’s the wild part: When kids were asked what makes sports fun, winning ranked 48th. They cared more about playing with friends, getting better, feeling supported, and having fun. So maybe the question isn’t, “How far can my child go in sports?” Maybe it’s, “What do I want sports to teach my child?” This one might ruffle a few feathers (or cleats 😉). But as always with Momfessions... we’re willing to look in the mirror. Let’s Talk About It. Listen in to learn more: [0:00:00] Youth Sports Are Out of Control [0:05:15] Kids Quit Because It’s Not Fun [0:06:40] Early Specialization and Burnout [0:09:06] Parents’ Behavior Driving Pressure [0:10:53] Winning Matters Less to Kids [0:13:25] The Scholarship and Pro Fantasy [0:16:20] Chasing Travel Ball and Private Coaches [0:17:56] Parent Ego and Living Through Kids [0:18:32] Remembering the Real Purpose of Sports [0:19:40] Power of Great Coaches and Other Adults [0:20:35] You Either Win or Learn [0:22:07] Core Question: What Should Sports Teach Our Kids? In this episode, we are digging into youth sports culture, the benefits and costs of youth sports, why kids want to play sports versus why parents want them to play, the odds of playing college sports or becoming a professional athlete, the importance of great coaches and trusted mentors in the lives of kids and teens, and how to keep the focus on the value of youth sports and why kids play in the first place. Resources Connect with Paula on Instagram Paula’s Newsletter is on Substack!! THE CARRY ALL weekly newsletter is on Substack!! Paula’s Book: You Don’t Have To Carry It All Download the Savor Your Summer Guide HERE Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
June 23 · 29 min
MOMFESSIONS: Why Our Sons Might Expect Too Much From Women
We’re back with a Momfessions confession that might hit close to home: are we accidentally raising sons who expect too much from women? I’m joined by my teammate at CARRY Media, Kristen White, a mom of three boys, for a candid conversation about the messages our sons absorb about work, caregiving, and what they should expect from a future partner. Oof. We’re going there. Between the two of us, we’re raising five boys, and this conversation has been brewing in my mind for years: Are we raising sons who expect a partner…or a parent? And listen, this was an uncomfortable conversation for us. It made us examine our own habits, our own assumptions, and the messages we may be sending without even realizing it. But uncomfortable conversations are often the ones we most need to have. Before you come for us, this is NOT a working-mom-VS-stay-at-home-mom debate. It’s something much deeper. What are our sons learning about women from watching us? Are they learning that caregiving belongs to women, or that family life belongs to everyone? They’re watching everything. We talk about why boys need to see moms with dreams, goals, and identities outside of motherhood, and why they need to see fathers cooking, cleaning, caregiving, and showing up as true partners. Because I don’t want my sons to grow up looking for someone to cook and clean for them. I want them to grow up wanting to build a life alongside someone, not expect someone to carry it all. This one will ruffle some feathers. But that’s what Momfessions is all about. Let’s Talk About It. Listen in to learn more: 0:01:00] Are We Raising Sons for Partnership or Service? [0:03:39] The Cost of “Automatic” Mothering for Our Sons’ Expectations [0:05:00] Do Boys Learn Caregiving Belongs to Women? [0:07:58] Modeling True Partnership and Domestic Equity at Home [0:10:20] Spousal Equity and Joint Career Decisions in Marriage [0:12:22] Kids Seeing Mom’s Ambition and Dad Tag‑Teaming at Home [0:14:14] Research: How Working Moms Shape Sons’ and Daughters’ Futures [0:16:30] Teaching Kids “See a Need, Meet a Need” as a Family Ethic [0:18:18] Why Engaged Fatherhood Radically Shapes Boys and Girls [0:19:18] Kids Aren’t the Center of the Universe: Healthy Family Priorities In this episode, we are diving into how boys learn to respect and value women by observing their mothers, why moms need personal goals and priorities beyond parenting, the critical role of active fathers, the benefits of strong parenting partnerships, the family motto “see a need, meet a need,” and how shared family responsibilities help raise confident, responsible, and contributing children. Connect with Paula on Instagram Paula’s Newsletter is on Substack!! THE CARRY ALL weekly newsletter is on Substack!! Paula’s Book: You Don’t Have To Carry It All Download the Savor Your Summer Guide HERE Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
June 16 · 31 min
MOMFESSIONS: Why Girls Are a Heartache and Boys Are a Heart Attack and (And What We Get Wrong About Raising Them)
I’ve always said: boys are a heart attack and girls are a heartache. And if you’ve ever rushed a son to the ER or helped your daughter navigate friendship drama, you probably know exactly what I mean We’re back with Momfessions–our month-long series, talking about how we really feel about some of parenting's biggest, hottest topics. And I’m joined by my teammate at CARRY Media, Kristen White, a mom to three boys. This week: Why We Raise Boys and Girls Differently (Without Even Realizing It) It got me thinking: are those differences really about our kids…or about how we’re raising them? Kristin and I talk about the stereotypes we’ve accepted, the double standards we don’t even notice, and the different expectations we place on our sons and daughters, from emotions and independence to responsibility and resilience. And my biggest takeaway? Maybe we need to stop telling our boys to “man up” and start teaching all our kids to simply be good humans. This one might make you laugh, cringe, and rethink a few things (it certainly did for me). Let’s Talk About It. Listen in to learn more: [0:00:08] Baptism by Boy Mom Life [0:03:20] Girls are Heartache, Boys are Heart Attack [0:04:00] When the ER Becomes Your Second Home [0:05:25] The Golf Course Splinter Saga [0:08:09] Girl Drama, Social Media, and Mama Heartache [0:09:31] Caroline’s Leadership vs. Little Brother Chaos In this episode, we are diving into the unique challenges of parenting boys and girls, how gender stereotypes and societal expectations shape our approach to parenting, and the importance of being intentional as we raise confident, compassionate children with strong character. Connect with Paula on Instagram Paula’s Newsletter is on Substack!! THE CARRY ALL weekly newsletter is on Substack!! Download the Savor Your Summer Guide HERE Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
June 9 · 30 min
MOMFESSIONS: Why Summer Isn’t A Break
We’re back with Momfessions–—our month-long series, talking about how we really feel about some of parenting's biggest, hottest topics. And I’m joined by my teammate at CARRY Media, Kristen White, a mom to three boys. This week: Why Summer Isn't a Break. We spend all year dreaming about summer, but when it finally arrives, many of us are juggling childcare, camps, schedules, work, guilt, and the pressure to make it all feel magical. In this episode, we're sharing our real thoughts about summer, why so many parents feel exhausted before it even begins, and practical ways to enjoy it without burning out. Plus, Kristen introduces a simple idea called "Proof of Mom" that just might change the way you experience this season. Because your kids aren't the only ones allowed to have a summer. Let's Talk About It. Listen in to learn more: [0:00:37] Complicated Feelings About Kids Home All Day [0:01:08] Expectation vs Reality of the Perfect Summer [0:03:25] Proof of Mom and Moms in Their Own Memories [0:05:01] The Impossible Math of Summer Childcare [0:09:27] Lowering the Bar on a Magical Summer In this episode, we are digging into summer parenting challenges for working parents, including summer childcare and scheduling issues, managing the mental load, letting go of unrealistic expectations and the pressure to make summer magical, why it's okay for kids to be bored, and why children benefit from seeing their parents enjoy summer, hobbies, and personal time too. LINKS Connect with Paula on Instagram Paula’s Newsletter is on Substack!! THE CARRY ALL weekly newsletter is on Substack!! Download the Savor Your Summer Guide HERE Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
June 2 · 30 min
MOMFESSIONS: We Survived Maycember. Barely.
All month long, Kristen White and I are sharing our Momfessions – how we really feel about some of parenting’s biggest, messiest, most talked-about topics. Kristen is my teammate at CARRY Media and a boy mom to three boys, so trust me: we have thoughts. First up: Maycember. You know…the month we just survived. But barely. It’s the month that feels like December-level chaos but delivers exactly none of the holiday magic. Concerts. Field days. Teacher gifts. Sports banquets. Spirit weeks. Summer planning. Working. Parenting. Existing. Graduations! In this episode, we’re looking back at what May did to us, why modern parenting feels unsustainable this time of year, and practical ways to make sure next May doesn’t completely take us out. Because if next May looks exactly like this May…we may not make it. Let’s Talk About It. Listen in to learn more: [0:00:00] Maycember Overwhelm for Parents [0:06:59] Mental Load and Triple Logistics in May [0:09:54] Letting Go of Guilt and Missed Events [0:18:38] You Can’t Do It All, and That’s Okay [0:21:03] Minimum Viable Parenting Mindset [0:24:16] Evolving Beyond the Pinterest Mom [0:24:57] Workplaces Need May Flexibility In this episode, we are digging into surviving the chaos of “Maycember,” the challenges of balancing school activities with standard work hours, how our communication with our kids shapes their perceptions, practical strategies for managing busy families, giving yourself grace as a parent, and how employers can better support working parents during the demanding month of May. Connect with Paula on Instagram Paula’s Newsletter is on Substack!! THE CARRY ALL weekly newsletter is now on Substack!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
May 26 · 30 min
I Wish Someone Had Told Me My Kid’s Graduation Would Wreck Me
I knew this would be emotional. I just didn’t realize it would be this hard. In the final episode of my I Wish Someone Had Told Me series, I’m sitting down with Niro Feliciano—a mom of four who’s already been through this—to talk about my daughter’s graduation…and honestly, I’m a hot mess. People can try to explain what the moment is like, but until you’re in it, it’s hard to fully comprehend. Someone once described it as “grief wrapped in celebration,” and honestly, that’s the best way to put it. You’re so proud. Super excited for them.And at the same time… you’re trying to process how fast it all went. We talk about: That “weird trifecta” of emotions—happy, sad, and everything in between How the rhythm of your family changes overnight And what’s on the other side of this: a different, and often deeper, relationship with your child Niro is also our comfort animal (lol) because she offers perspective, encouragement, and the reminder that this season—while hard—is also full of growth and beauty. If you’re in this season—or heading toward it—let’s talk about it. Because it’s not the end, but it is a change. And it’s okay to feel all of it. Let’s Talk About It. Listen in to learn more: [0:03:03] Mixed emotions of grief and celebration around a child’s graduation [0:04:59] Parenting goal framed as launching capable, confident, independent kids [0:08:35] Graduation grief linked to the speed of childhood and the passage of time [0:16:09] New grief opening a box of earlier grief and regrets about parents [0:17:09] Practical strategies: choose moments to be present and plan future anchors In this episode, we are digging into why high school graduation can feel like grief wrapped in celebration, how parenting years pass so quickly, why major life transitions can resurface past grief, the evolving parent-child relationship after graduation, and practical advice for parents navigating every stage of raising teens and young adults. THE CARRY ALL weekly newsletter is on Substack!! https://officialcarrymedia.substack.com/ Paula’s Newsletter https://paulafarisofficial.substack.com/ Connect with Paula on Instagram Niro Felicano Paula’s Favorite Protein Powder 15% off Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
May 19 · 34 min
I Wish Someone Had Told Me Perimenopause Could Affect My Mental Health This Much
There was a season not long ago when I didn’t feel like myself at all. Overwhelmed. Emotional. In a really dark place. No one really prepares you for this part. Perimenopause isn’t just hot flashes and mood swings; it can quietly impact your mental health in ways you don’t expect. Even though I could point to many of the reasons… I wasn’t at all prepared for how deeply it would affect me. In this episode, I’m opening up about that season, and I’m joined by my friend, psychotherapist Niro Feliciano, to help make sense of what so many women in midlife are quietly experiencing. For many of us, it’s a perfect storm: grief, stress, shifting identity, and hormonal changes all colliding at once. We talk about: Why some women experience anxiety or depression for the first time Why this stage of life can feel so emotionally intense How hormonal shifts impact your brain, mood, and sense of self And what actually helps: support, connection, and getting the right kind of care If you’ve been feeling off, overwhelmed, or not like yourself… you’re not alone, and you don’t have to carry this by yourself. Let’s Talk About It. Listen in to learn more: [0:03:17] Suicide Risk Peaks at Midlife [0:06:49] Therapy as Lifeline in the Darkest Season [0:13:10] Dopamine, Screens & Perimenopause Vulnerability [0:15:11] HRT, Testosterone & Rethinking SSRIs [0:21:18] Social Health, Friendship & Longevity In this episode, we are diving into how perimenopause affects mental health, including hormone-related mood changes, stress, anxiety, and depression, the “perfect storm” of emotional challenges and stressors in midlife, finding the right therapist, and the powerful role of friendship and emotional support in overall wellness. If you need someone to talk to, you can call or text 988, the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
May 12 · 31 min
I Wish Someone Had Told Me Adults Have the Worst Phone Habits
We tell our kids to get off their phones…But, um, if we’re honest, we’re often the worst offenders. 🤭 So how do we actually build healthy, sustainable phone habits that work in real life? In part two of my I Wish Someone Had Told Me series, I’m back with psychotherapist Niro Feliciano, and we’re not just naming the problem—we’re talking about how to fix it. We talk about: Why adults actually have the worst phone habits The surprising stat about Gen Z that might give you hope Why more time online can leave us feeling more disconnected The “slow living” movement and simple ways to start Practical, doable habits you can implement right away If you’ve ever picked up your phone for one thing… and lost 30 minutes, you’re not alone. The goal isn’t to ditch your phone, it’s to finally feel in control of it! Let’s Talk About It. Listen in to learn more: [0:00:41] Adults Have Worse Phone Habits Than Their Kids [0:02:20] Gen Z Leads the Way in Cutting Screen Time [0:04:14] Mornings Without Phones Improve Mood and Productivity [0:09:58] Dopamine, Addiction, and Doing Media Fasts [0:12:02] Grayscale, App Moves, and Notification Detox [0:19:12] Enjoying Life More When the Phone Isn’t Visible [0:20:43] Embracing Slow Living and Intentional Offline Moments SUMMARY: In this episode, we are diving into how to create healthier phone habits through phone-free moments, analog activities, and slow living, practical tips for setting better boundaries with screen time, and why life feels more balanced and fulfilling when your phone is put away. LINKS Connect with Paula on Instagram Get Paula's personal newsletter Niro Felicano THE CARRY™ ALL NEWSLETTER by and for working moms Paula’s Favorite Protein Powder 15% off YOUTUBE Connect with Paula on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/paulafaris/?hl=en THE CARRY™ ALL NEWSLETTER by and for working moms https://carrymedia.com/the-carry-all/ Get Paula's personal newsletter https://www.paulafarisofficial.com/newsletter Paula’s Favorite Protein Powder 15% off https://thepeachiespoon.com/?rfsn=8647660.93b706f&utm_source=refersion&utm_medium=affiliate&utm_campaign=8647660.93b706f Connect with Niro - https://www.nirofeliciano.com/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
May 5 · 32 min
I Wish Someone Had Told Me What Happens When You Give Your Kid a Phone
There’s a shift happening. For the first time, we’re seeing legal accountability for social media companies, growing cultural pushback on screen time, and even the return of something we thought was gone for good—the landline! All of it pointing to one question: what are phones actually doing to our kids? We gave them for all the right reasons: safety, connection, convenience.But we know more now than we did then. And if we’re honest… we might have done things differently. In the first episode of my I Wish Someone Had Told Me series, I’m joined by my friend—author, mom, and psychotherapist Niro Feliciano—for a real, no-judgment conversation about giving phones to our kids. Because chances are… you’ve already done it. I have too. We talk about: The cultural pushback Legal accountability and what it means The changes we’ve seen in our own kids Plus, the return of the landline And why this becomes one of the biggest parenting battles. If you’re wondering “What have I done… and what do I do now?”—this episode is for you. We know more now. And it’s never too late for us to do better. Let’s Talk About It. SUMMARY In this episode, we are digging into parenting decisions around kids and smartphones, how and why those rules evolve over time, landmark court cases on social media’s impact on teen mental health, the dopamine deficit and why social media use often looks a lot like addiction, the importance of nuanced family tech conversations, how boredom builds resilience in children and teens, the resurgence of landlines, and smartphone alternatives for families. Next week: I Wish Someone Had Told Me Adults Have the Worst Phone Habits Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
April 28 · 24 min
Your Biggest Enneagram Questions - Answered
Let’s answer the questions everyone asks about the Enneagram: Can your type change? Why do your results keep changing? What if you relate to more than one type? We’re wrapping up our month-long series with Enneagram expert and author Ian Morgan Cron by getting clear on what actually matters about the Enneagram. This isn’t about traits. It’s about motivation: why you do what you do. We get into mistypes, bad tests, and why you can’t outsource this to a quiz and call it done. There’s no “best” type, but there is a healthiest version of you, and the Enneagram can help you get there. Life Happens. Let’s Talk About It. Listen in to learn more: [0:00:00] Type Doesn’t Change, But You Evolve [0:04:09] Why Your Test Results Keep Shifting [0:07:21] You Are All Nine Types, But One Dominates [0:10:19] Common Mistypes and Confusing Wings [0:14:42] No “Best” Type and How Leaders Show Up as Nines In this episode, we are diving into whether your Enneagram type can change over time, common Enneagram mistypes, why you shouldn’t only rely on an Enneagram test to determine your type, which Enneagram type is considered the best, and which Enneagram type is the hardest to parent. LINKS Connect with Paula on Instagram Get Paula's personal newsletter– win Ian’s book! Meet Ian Morgan Cron Take Ian’s Enneagram Assessment: Code PAULA for 15% off THE CARRY™ ALL NEWSLETTER by and for working moms Paula’s Favorite Protein Powder 15% off Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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