The Messy Midlife Toolkit

A coffee isn't a resignation letter.

What if you’re good at your job, but it doesn’t give you what it used to? You don’t have to hate your job to start wondering whether it still fits. In this episode, we talk about why career questions can get louder in midlife, the guilt that can come with questioning a perfectly good job, and how being good at something can sometimes keep you stuck doing more and more of something you no longer want. We explore the difference between needing a completely new career and simply wanting a different version of your working life - and share our Career Fit Check: More, Less, Keep, Explore, a simple tool to help you work out what you want next without having to make any big decisions. And remember: A coffee isn’t a resignation letter. Blog: Where’s the Jigsaw Piece? When something feels missing in your life. Follow The Messy Midlife Toolkit on Instagram. Find out more about us: Janine: https://thewellbeingadvantage.com Vivienne: https://www.lifecoachingbyvivienne.com

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Where did my confidence go?

How can you have so much life experience, and somehow trust yourself less? In this episode, we’re talking about confidence: where it goes, what or who can knock it, and why feeling less confident in one part of your life doesn’t mean you’ve suddenly become an unconfident person. We look at the difference between confidence and familiarity, why courage often comes before confidence, and why waiting until you feel completely ready can keep you stuck. We also introduce this episode’s addition to the Messy Midlife Toolkit: The Hype File - a place to collect the evidence of what you’ve done, what you’re good at and the things other people have reflected back to you, for those days when your own brain conveniently forgets. And we leave you with one question: If you trusted yourself just 10% more, what would you do? Plus, we talk about Janine’s own wobbles around putting herself out there, including writing her book, The Wellbeing Advantage: 7 Transformative Habits to Thrive in Work and Life. Follow The Messy Midlife Toolkit: Instagram: @themessymidlifetoolkit Find out more about us: Vivienne: https://www.lifecoachingbyvivienne.com Janine: https://thewellbeingadvantage.com Buy Janine's book here: https://shorturl.at/sqGkA

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The Invisible Load

Why can you feel exhausted when, physically, you haven’t actually done that much? Sometimes it’s not the things you’re doing that are wearing you out. It’s everything you’re remembering, anticipating, organising, checking, worrying about and keeping track of in the background. In this episode, we talk about the invisible load: the mental and emotional work that rarely makes it onto a to-do list, but can leave you feeling as though you’re permanently on call. We look at why capable women so often become the person who holds everything together, why “just tell me what you need me to do” isn’t always as helpful as it sounds, and how caring for other people can sometimes slide into feeling responsible for them. And, of course, we add another practical tool to The Messy Midlife Toolkit: the three-tab reset, a simple way to look at what’s taking up space in your head and decide what is yours, what can be shared, and what you might be ready to close. Just because you noticed it doesn’t automatically make it yours. Follow The Messy Midlife Toolkit: Instagram: @themessymidlifetoolkit Find out more about us: Vivienne: https://www.lifecoachingbyvivienne.com Janine: https://thewellbeingadvantage.com Buy Janine's book here: https://shorturl.at/sqGkA

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Why we spiral: maybe you’re not the problem.

Ever found yourself snapping at someone you love, lying awake overthinking, doom scrolling, or feeling completely overwhelmed by something that normally wouldn’t bother you? When we’re carrying too much for too long, it can be easy to assume that we’re the problem. In this episode of The Messy Midlife Toolkit, we talk about what happens when life leaves us at capacity - and why trying to make big decisions from that place can make everything feel even harder. We share our own experiences of busy lives and competing demands, introduce our snow globe analogy for understanding overwhelm, and ask a rather different question: Instead of “Why can’t I cope anymore?” what if you asked “What am I carrying?” And we add another simple tool to your Messy Midlife Toolkit: The Permission Slip. Remember, maybe you don't need an answer just yet. You might just need to let the snow settle first. Follow The Messy Midlife Toolkit: Instagram: @themessymidlifetoolkit Find out more about us: Vivienne: https://www.lifecoachingbyvivienne.com Janine: https://thewellbeingadvantage.com Buy Janine's book here: https://shorturl.at/sqGkA

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Rediscovering Yourself in Midlife

What happens when the life you’ve built no longer feels quite like you? In this episode, we talk about that strange midlife feeling of losing touch with yourself, when nothing is necessarily wrong, but something doesn’t quite fit anymore. We explore identity, values, the roles we take on over the years, and why feeling lost doesn’t necessarily mean you need to blow up your life and start again. Maybe you haven’t lost yourself. Maybe who you are has changed, but your life hasn’t caught up yet. Follow The Messy Midlife Toolkit: Instagram: @themessymidlifetoolkit Find out more about us: Vivienne: https://www.lifecoachingbyvivienne.com Janine: https://thewellbeingadvantage.com Buy Janine's book here: https://shorturl.at/sqGkA

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Who We Are & Why We're Here

Welcome to The Messy Midlife Toolkit. In this short introduction, meet your hosts, Dr Janine van Someren and Vivienne Berryman, and hear why we created this podcast. We'll be talking about identity shifts, burnout, confidence, relationships, career crossroads, the invisible load, and the questions so many women find themselves asking in midlife. Expect honest conversations, practical tools, and gentle reminders that you're not the only one figuring it out as you go. We're really glad you're here. Follow The Messy Midlife Toolkit: Instagram: @themessymidlifetoolkit Find out more about us: Vivienne: https://www.lifecoachingbyvivienne.com Janine: https://thewellbeingadvantage.com Buy Janine's book here: https://shorturl.at/sqGkA

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Introducing The Messy Midlife Toolkit

Welcome to The Messy Midlife Toolkit. In this short introductory episode, Vivienne shares how the podcast came about and some of the topics we'll be exploring in future episodes. From identity shifts, burnout, confidence and relationships, to the invisible load many women carry, changing priorities, friendship shifts, and the question so many of us find ourselves asking at some point: "So what's next for me?" The Messy Midlife Toolkit is a podcast for women navigating change, seeking clarity, and making sense of the messy middle of life. Follow The Messy Midlife Toolkit: Instagram: @themessymidlifetoolkit Find out more about us: Vivienne: https://www.lifecoachingbyvivienne.com Janine: https://thewellbeingadvantage.com Buy Janine's book here: https://shorturl.at/sqGkA