
697. Why Women Don’t Want Sex—and What They Actually Want w/ Kimberly Ann Johnson
Menopause is not the end of your sexual life if you know how to handle it. Kimberly Ann Johnson is a sexological bodyworker, birth doula, and author of The Fourth Trimester, whose new book Erotic Seasons maps what happens to a woman’s body across menstruation, mothering, perimenopause, and the years beyond. The question driving this conversation: what does a man gain from understanding the seasons of the woman he loves? Kimberly pushes back on the trauma language that’s become ubiquitous and often weakening. She talks about hot sex and warm sex, why the parts of the body women battle hardest are the ones that make them female, and why “calm down” is often the opposite of what a woman needs. If you’ve ever felt the ground shifting in a long relationship and couldn’t name what was being asked of you, this is that conversation. Free Gift: Download an exclusive additional chapter from Erotic Seasons entitled “The Body and the Belly” at kimberlyannjohnson.com/erotic-seasons You'll learn: [0:00] Introduction [13:30] What a man gains from understanding the women he loves [22:31] Men overriding their own arousal to be good [30:59] Four seasons of a woman’s life explained [37:05] The male job is to run the perimeter [43:29] Reading your cycle as the ultimate biohack [52:12] What men get wrong about women’s desire and arousal [57:47] Erasing the staircase mentality of foreplay [1:06:21] Letting pleasure feel good and untying the knot of trauma [1:19:55] Discounting form on the spiritual path [1:32:20] Why unity in 12-Step rooms works miracles [1:46:12] Finding the gift in what was objectively negative [1:52:02] When nervous system regulation becomes suppression [1:57:21] You don’t regulate your way to an easier life [2:03:04] Why most people stay stuck in impulse and satiation Resources Mentioned: Mothering the Bones | Website Full show notes at lukestorey.com/somatic2 Related The Life Stylist Episodes: Somatic Experiencing, Birth, Sex & Trauma w/ Kimberly Ann Johnson | Podcast Find more from Kimberly: Kimberly Ann Johnson | Website | Instagram | Facebook | YouTube Read: Erotic Seasons: Tuning into the Rhythms of Women’s Sexuality and Spirituality | Book Read: Call of the Wild: How We Heal Trauma, Awaken Our Own Power, and Use It for Good | Book Find more from Luke: Luke Storey | Website | Instagram | Facebook | X | YouTube | LinkedIn My new book, A Horse Named Lonesome, launches November 17, 2026. Pre-order now at ahorsenamedlonesome.com and get bonuses: access to my Inner Circle Book Club, an exclusive Lonesome Conversations six-part miniseries, and an ebook transcript of the series. The Life Stylist is Brought To You By: URBAN ROOTS | Visit lukestorey.com/urbanroots and use code LUKE to save 15% off your first jar or 25% off your first month when you subscribe. BIOPTIMIZERS | Visit bioptimizers.com/luke and save 25% off sitewide now until November 22nd. QUANTUM UPGRADE | Visit lukestorey.com/quantumupgrade and use code LUKE15 to start your 15-day free trial. ACTIVATION PRODUCTS | Visit activationproducts.com/luke and use code LUKE for 15% off your order.














