
He's Not Judging How You Grieve. They Are. | Birthdays, Anniversaries & Proving You Loved Them.
The date's coming. You've been dreading it for days. And somewhere in that dread is a question you'd never say out loud: what am I supposed to do this year? Throw the party? Post the tribute? Order the cake? Because if you don't, somebody's going to notice. Somebody's going to wonder if you've moved on. If you ever really loved him. You're already missing someone. Now you're managing an audience. I'm going to say it so you don't have to: he's not the one judging you. They are. I've done the big party. I've done the quiet dinner. I've done the year I don't even remember. Every one of them was love. Not one of them needed an audience. If you're a widow, a widower, or a divorcée staring down an anniversary, a birthday, a holiday do whatever your heart wants. Throw the $5,000 party. Sit in the dark. Have cake with your kid. All of it counts. The only question is who you're doing it for. THREE TRUTHS 1. The date is yours. Doing nothing doesn't mean you forgot him. Doing everything doesn't mean you're performing. It only matters who it's for. 2. Some years you'll feel nothing. Some years you'll want the grand gesture. Let your body decide. Not your family. Not your friends. 3. Choose joy unapologetically. You were the wife, the caregiver, the one holding the whole ship together. Throw a bash for him if you want. Throw one for yourself if you want that more. To the non-grievers: don't go quiet on these dates. Send a voice note. Tell us a story about them. We want to hear it. Stay for the end. Somebody sang Happy Birthday off-key and I had to address it. What's one thing you've felt expected to do on a birthday or anniversary after loss? Tell me in the comments. G³ Framework: Grief → Grit → GlowUp™ This episode lives in Grief. Watch on YouTube. Listen on Spotify. Instagram · Facebook · TikTok: @thegriefdisruptor ABOUT DONIELLE Donielle Young is The Grief Disruptor®, founder of MHDS Media, author, keynote speaker, and corporate grief strategist. For over two decades she worked in corporate finance advising C-suite executives. She lost her husband Dwaine to stage 4 colon cancer and is raising their son as a solo parent. Subscribe. Leave a review. Share this with someone who needed it yesterday. #TheGriefDisruptor #TheModernWidow
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