The Complex Trauma Podcast

Why Do I Want Two Opposite Things? Conflicting Parts in Complex Trauma

Why can you feel lonely and then want everyone to leave you alone, or set a boundary and immediately want to take it back? Today, I explore why conflicting parts and contradictory responses can feel especially intense after complex trauma, drawing from parts work, attachment research, fear learning, and Somatic Experiencing. You’ll hear why missing someone doesn’t mean the relationship was safe, why guilt doesn’t prove a boundary was wrong, and how the body can move toward something while also putting on the brakes. The goal isn’t to decide which response is the “real you,” but to understand what each one expects, protects, or needs. The question to take with you: how much might be right for me right now? Thanks for listening to The Complex Trauma Podcast! Be sure to follow, share and give us a review on your favorite podcast platform. Follow on Instagram: @sarahherstichlcsw Follow on TikTok: @sarahherstichlcsw Learn more about EMDR & trauma therapy in Pennsylvania with Reclaim Therapy This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or nutritional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Remember, I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. Nothing in this podcast is meant to replace actual therapy or treatment. If you're in crisis or things feel really unsafe right now, please reach out to someone. You can call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, text them, or head to your nearest ER. The views expressed by the host and guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organizations or institutions. Reliance on any information provided by this podcast is solely at your own risk.

Grieving What You Never Had After Emotional Neglect

How do you grieve a childhood you never had? If you grew up with childhood emotional neglect, you may have heard that grief is part of complex trauma recovery and still have no idea what you're supposed to be grieving, or what that grief is supposed to feel like. This episode is built around a listener's question. She grew up without much affection, remembers wanting it, and came to believe that needing it meant she wasn't growing up properly. Decades later, she's wondering whether she has anything to grieve, and whether feeling sad about it is selfish. We talk through how the grief of emotional neglect works when nothing specific "happened," why you often only recognize the loss through contrast, and why receiving care now can sometimes make you feel worse before it feels better. In this episode: Why the grief of childhood emotional neglect is hard to locate, and how a point of comparison can suddenly make it visible What you're actually grieving when you never had the thing Why grief can feel like self-pity, and what "my childhood was good overall" might be protecting you from What this grief can look like, including anger, envy, numbness, disbelief, and trying harder with the parent you still have Why a partner's hug or a therapist's kindness can make your body brace, and how to read that response Memory reconsolidation, and how receiving care now may update old emotional learning Why you don't have to go looking for grief or perform it correctly What grieving can look like in actual life, without turning it into a checklist Whether accepting a parent's limitations means giving up on the relationship When grief gets too big, and what to bring to your therapist This episode is sponsored by Cozy Earth! I’m so excited to have them supporting The Complex Trauma Podcast. Head to Cozy Earth and use code RECLAIM for 20% off your order. Thanks for listening to The Complex Trauma Podcast! Be sure to follow, share and give us a review on your favorite podcast platform. Follow on Instagram: @sarahherstichlcsw Follow on TikTok: @sarahherstichlcsw Learn more about EMDR & trauma therapy in Pennsylvania with Reclaim Therapy This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or nutritional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Remember, I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. Nothing in this podcast is meant to replace actual therapy or treatment. If you're in crisis or things feel really unsafe right now, please reach out to someone. You can call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, text them, or head to your nearest ER. The views expressed by the host and guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organizations or institutions. Reliance on any information provided by this podcast is solely at your own risk.

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How Narcissistic Abuse Shapes Self-Trust, Relationships and Complex Trauma with Amy Marlow-MaCoy

What happens when you grow up learning that someone else’s needs, emotions, or version of reality matter more than your own? In this episode, I’m joined by Amy Marlow-MaCoy, MEd, LPC, to talk about narcissistic abuse and its relationship to complex trauma. We unpack narcissistic family systems, gaslighting and DARVO, the roles children can take on in these families, and why survivors may struggle with self-trust, perfectionism, overfunctioning, guilt, and boundaries long after childhood. We also talk about what happens when you begin changing these patterns, the complexity of low and no contact, and what it can look like to rebuild a relationship with yourself after years of learning to question your own experience. About Amy Amy Marlow-MaCoy, MEd, LPC, is an internationally known clinician and trainer specializing in gaslighting, narcissistic abuse, and complex developmental and relational trauma. She is the author of The Gaslighting Recovery Workbook and co-author of The Clinician’s Guide to Treating Adult Children of Narcissists. Amy is also the founder of The Courageous Heart Institute, a learning community for clinicians specializing in treating survivors of narcissistic abuse. Amy has advanced training in Internal Family Systems (IFS), EMDR, Brainspotting, and other trauma treatment approaches, and provides therapy, consultation, supervision, and continuing education for clinicians working with narcissistic abuse and complex relational trauma. Follow Amy on Instagram and Facebook! Check out her website here Thanks for listening to The Complex Trauma Podcast! Be sure to follow, share and give us a review on your favorite podcast platform. Follow on Instagram: @sarahherstichlcsw Follow on TikTok: @sarahherstichlcsw Learn more about EMDR & trauma therapy in Pennsylvania with Reclaim Therapy This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or nutritional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Remember, I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. Nothing in this podcast is meant to replace actual therapy or treatment. If you're in crisis or things feel really unsafe right now, please reach out to someone. You can call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, text them, or head to your nearest ER. The views expressed by the host and guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organizations or institutions. Reliance on any information provided by this podcast is solely at your own risk.

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Functional Freeze and Why You Feel Stuck Even When You’re Functioning

You’re functioning. You may even be the person everyone relies on. But inside, you feel stuck, distant, or like you aren’t fully there for your own life. In this episode, I'm answering a listener’s question: Is functional freeze actually real, or is it something the internet picked up and oversimplified? We explore what trauma clinicians mean by functional freeze, why it isn’t a formal diagnosis, and how mixed patterns of activation and shutdown can make you look capable while everything inside feels stalled. I also explain why functional freeze and dissociation aren’t interchangeable and why difficulty getting started can have many possible contributors, including complex trauma, chronic stress, depression, ADHD, exhaustion, and executive-function challenges. You’ll also learn: Why you may mobilize instantly during a crisis but struggle to begin a simple task How childhood emotional neglect and complex trauma can give you more practice responding to others than initiating from within yourself Why urgency, pressure, and responsibility may organize you more easily than desire Why stopping doesn’t always make rest feel restorative How small choices, movement, pleasure, and everyday acts of agency can help build greater nervous-system flexibility Functional freeze can be useful language for a real experience. But it was never meant to become the whole explanation for you. This episode is sponsored by Cozy Earth! I’m so excited to have them supporting The Complex Trauma Podcast. Head to Cozy Earth and use code RECLAIM for 20% off your order. Thanks for listening to The Complex Trauma Podcast! Be sure to follow, share and give us a review on your favorite podcast platform. Follow on Instagram: @sarahherstichlcsw Follow on TikTok: @sarahherstichlcsw Learn more about EMDR & trauma therapy in Pennsylvania with Reclaim Therapy This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or nutritional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Remember, I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. Nothing in this podcast is meant to replace actual therapy or treatment. If you're in crisis or things feel really unsafe right now, please reach out to someone. You can call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, text them, or head to your nearest ER. The views expressed by the host and guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organizations or institutions. Reliance on any information provided by this podcast is solely at your own risk.

The Longing to Be Understood in Complex Trauma Recovery

You finally understand something about yourself. Something that took months of therapy to even name. And now you need someone else to get it too. This week we're talking about that longing, where it comes from, why it can feel so urgent with certain people, and what happens in your body when the conversation doesn't go the way you hoped. We'll cover emotional flashbacks, the fight flight freeze fawn response, and the difference between being understood and being agreed with. Plus, what's actually yours to hold onto when someone doesn't meet you where you're at. This episode is for anyone who has ever tried to explain their trauma response to a friend, a partner, or a family member and walked away feeling more alone instead of less. Thanks for listening to The Complex Trauma Podcast! Be sure to follow, share and give us a review on your favorite podcast platform. Follow on Instagram: @sarahherstichlcsw Follow on TikTok: @sarahherstichlcsw Learn more about EMDR & trauma therapy in Pennsylvania with Reclaim Therapy This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or nutritional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Remember, I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. Nothing in this podcast is meant to replace actual therapy or treatment. If you're in crisis or things feel really unsafe right now, please reach out to someone. You can call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, text them, or head to your nearest ER. The views expressed by the host and guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organizations or institutions. Reliance on any information provided by this podcast is solely at your own risk.

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Complex Trauma, Brain Fog, Memory & Focus Problems

Why can you handle a crisis without blinking but completely blank when someone asks what you want for dinner? Brain fog, forgetfulness, trouble focusing, difficulty starting tasks, and executive dysfunction can all show up alongside complex trauma. But “trauma changed your brain” is a much more complicated story than the internet often makes it sound. In this episode of The Complex Trauma Podcast, we’re breaking down what may actually be happening when your brain feels scattered, slow, forgetful, or wildly inconsistent. Instead of another tour of the amygdala and prefrontal cortex, we’re looking at three things that can help make sense of cognitive struggles after trauma: priority, capacity, and access. We’ll talk about how trauma can shape what gets your attention, how rumination, hypervigilance, perfectionism, and people-pleasing can take up cognitive bandwidth, and why memory, focus, and decision-making may change depending on stress, dissociation, and emotional context. We’ll also unpack working memory, processing speed, executive functioning, the overlap between ADHD and trauma, and why being incredibly capable doesn’t mean your brain won’t struggle sometimes. Because maybe the better question isn’t “What’s wrong with my brain?” It’s “What is my brain trying to do right now?” This episode is sponsored by Cozy Earth! I’m so excited to have them supporting The Complex Trauma Podcast. Head to Cozy Earth and use code RECLAIM for 20% off your order. Thanks for listening to The Complex Trauma Podcast! Be sure to follow, share and give us a review on your favorite podcast platform. Follow on Instagram: @sarahherstichlcsw Follow on TikTok: @sarahherstichlcsw Learn more about EMDR & trauma therapy in Pennsylvania with Reclaim Therapy This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or nutritional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Remember, I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. Nothing in this podcast is meant to replace actual therapy or treatment. If you're in crisis or things feel really unsafe right now, please reach out to someone. You can call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, text them, or head to your nearest ER. The views expressed by the host and guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organizations or institutions. Reliance on any information provided by this podcast is solely at your own risk.

Why Trauma Memory Gaps Don't Mean You Made It Up

Maybe you barely remember your childhood. Maybe you've done years of trauma work, you're finally feeling better, and now you're wondering, was it really that bad? Did I make it all up? This episode is about trauma, memory, and self-trust. Why memory isn't a recording, why gaps and fragments don't prove or disprove anything, why healing itself can create distance from a memory, and why I don't remember doesn't have to become I can't trust myself. You don't have to make yourself hurt again to prove that you once hurt 🧡. Thanks for listening to The Complex Trauma Podcast! Be sure to follow, share and give us a review on your favorite podcast platform. Follow on Instagram: @sarahherstichlcsw Follow on TikTok: @sarahherstichlcsw Learn more about EMDR & trauma therapy in Pennsylvania with Reclaim Therapy This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or nutritional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Remember, I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. Nothing in this podcast is meant to replace actual therapy or treatment. If you're in crisis or things feel really unsafe right now, please reach out to someone. You can call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, text them, or head to your nearest ER. The views expressed by the host and guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organizations or institutions. Reliance on any information provided by this podcast is solely at your own risk.

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The Messy Middle of Nervous System Regulation

This week's episode is a little different. Instead of something super polished, I'm giving you the real time version of my own messy middle. What dysregulation actually feels like in my body right now, why regulation isn't the absence of activation, and what's actually helping me stay steady in a hard season of my life, from a walk around the block to finally asking for help. If you're a complex trauma survivor in your own hard season, this one's for you. It's okay to lower a standard, ask for the help, and let the tears come if they want to come. Grab the free Dysregulation Toolkit, an interactive tool with real techniques for whatever you're feeling in the moment here If you haven't listened to the episode about why nervous system regulation can feel impossible with CPTSD, tune in here. Thanks for listening to The Complex Trauma Podcast! Be sure to follow, share and give us a review on your favorite podcast platform. Follow on Instagram: @sarahherstichlcsw Follow on TikTok: @sarahherstichlcsw Learn more about EMDR & trauma therapy in Pennsylvania with Reclaim Therapy This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or nutritional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Remember, I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. Nothing in this podcast is meant to replace actual therapy or treatment. If you're in crisis or things feel really unsafe right now, please reach out to someone. You can call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, text them, or head to your nearest ER. The views expressed by the host and guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organizations or institutions. Reliance on any information provided by this podcast is solely at your own risk.

Why Relationships and Connection Feel So Hard After Complex Trauma

Why does connection feel so hard after complex trauma? You want closeness, but when someone gets too close, you pull away. You want support, but "I'm fine" comes out before you've even thought about it. You want to trust people, yet asking for help, receiving kindness, or staying present during conflict can feel surprisingly difficult. If you've ever wondered why relationships feel so complicated after childhood trauma or emotional neglect, this episode is for you. Today, we're exploring how your earliest relationships taught your nervous system what to expect from connection and why those expectations can continue shaping your adult relationships long after childhood is over. Rather than focusing on attachment styles we'll look at the relational experiences that teach us whether it's safe to have needs, depend on others, receive care, repair after conflict, and be fully ourselves in relationship. We'll also talk about: Why receiving help can feel uncomfortable Hyper-independence and why depending on others feels so risky Why conflict can feel like the end of the relationship People-pleasing and the fear of authenticity The difference between managing relationships and actually experiencing them Why you can still love people who hurt you The difference between love and emotional capacity Grieving the relationship you needed but may never have How healing happens through new relational experiences If you've ever felt like your nervous system wants connection while another part of you is pulling away, I hope this episode helps you understand why. Thanks for listening to The Complex Trauma Podcast! Be sure to follow, share and give us a review on your favorite podcast platform. Follow on Instagram: @sarahherstichlcsw Follow on TikTok: @sarahherstichlcsw Learn more about EMDR & trauma therapy in Pennsylvania with Reclaim Therapy This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or nutritional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Remember, I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. Nothing in this podcast is meant to replace actual therapy or treatment. If you're in crisis or things feel really unsafe right now, please reach out to someone. You can call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, text them, or head to your nearest ER. The views expressed by the host and guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organizations or institutions. Reliance on any information provided by this podcast is solely at your own risk.

The Impact of Emotionally Immature Parents with Lindsay Gibson

What is the real impact of growing up with emotionally immature parents? Dr. Lindsay Gibson, author of the bestselling Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents, joins the show to explain what it costs a child over decades, and how to parent differently. In this conversation, we get into: What actually makes a parent emotionally immature Why the love can be real and the harm can be real at the same time What this can cost a child over years, including a shaken sense of trust in their own perception of reality What a healthy relationship with an emotionally immature parent can look like in adulthood The fear so many carry, that we'll become our parents, and why Lindsay says that fear itself might be a good sign The four essential jobs of parenting: protection, nurturance, guidance, and limits Her seven parental mindsets for maturity, and the chapter she calls The Absolutes Dr. Gibson's new book, How to Raise an Emotionally Mature Child, is out now. Order a copy on Amazon or Barnes and Noble Find her at lindsaycgibson.com and on Instagram @dr.lindsaygibson. Thanks for listening to The Complex Trauma Podcast! Be sure to follow, share and give us a review on your favorite podcast platform. Follow on Instagram: @sarahherstichlcsw Follow on TikTok: @sarahherstichlcsw Learn more about EMDR & trauma therapy in Pennsylvania with Reclaim Therapy This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or nutritional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Remember, I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. Nothing in this podcast is meant to replace actual therapy or treatment. If you're in crisis or things feel really unsafe right now, please reach out to someone. You can call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, text them, or head to your nearest ER. The views expressed by the host and guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organizations or institutions. Reliance on any information provided by this podcast is solely at your own risk.

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Why You Don't Know Who You Are After Complex Trauma

If you've ever caught yourself wondering who you actually are underneath the anxiety, the people pleasing, or the version of you that shows up to keep everyone else comfortable, this episode is for you. I break down what a sense of self actually is, why complex trauma gets in the way of building one, and what it looks like to start forming it now, as an adult. That means looking at three capacities trauma tends to disrupt: knowing yourself, expressing yourself, and experiencing yourself, and a few grounded, body-based ways to start reconnecting with each one. In this episode: What a sense of self actually is, and why it's built through experience, not something you're born with fully formed Why survival responses like fight, flight, freeze, or fawning aren't fixed personality traits, they're predictions your nervous system learned to keep you safe The three capacities complex trauma most often disrupts: knowing yourself, expressing yourself, and experiencing yourself Why healing this is often less about finding yourself and more about forming yourself Thanks for listening to The Complex Trauma Podcast! Be sure to follow, share and give us a review on your favorite podcast platform. Follow on Instagram: @sarahherstichlcsw Follow on TikTok: @sarahherstichlcsw Learn more about EMDR & trauma therapy in Pennsylvania with Reclaim Therapy This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or nutritional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Remember, I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. Nothing in this podcast is meant to replace actual therapy or treatment. If you're in crisis or things feel really unsafe right now, please reach out to someone. You can call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, text them, or head to your nearest ER. The views expressed by the host and guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organizations or institutions. Reliance on any information provided by this podcast is solely at your own risk.

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When Perfectionism Takes the Joy Out of the Things You Love

Sometimes a hobby amplifies whatever relationship your nervous system has with uncertainty. If you've ever found yourself staring at a blank page, putting off a creative project, or feeling tense doing something that's supposed to be relaxing, this episode is for you. Today we're exploring why perfectionism can turn creativity into a performance, how complex trauma changes our relationship with uncertainty, and why your hobbies may feel more like a test than a source of joy. We'll talk about the connection between self-worth and perfectionism, predictive processing, why healing in relationships doesn't always translate to creative expression, and gentle somatic practices to help your nervous system reconnect with curiosity and play. Whether your "painting" is art, writing, dancing, cooking, starting a business, or trying something new, this episode will help you understand why perfectionism runs much deeper than wanting to get it right. It might just be your nervous system trying to make sure you still belong. Thanks for listening to The Complex Trauma Podcast! Be sure to follow, share and give us a review on your favorite podcast platform. Follow on Instagram: @sarahherstichlcsw Follow on TikTok: @sarahherstichlcsw Learn more about EMDR & trauma therapy in Pennsylvania with Reclaim Therapy This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or nutritional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Remember, I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. Nothing in this podcast is meant to replace actual therapy or treatment. If you're in crisis or things feel really unsafe right now, please reach out to someone. You can call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, text them, or head to your nearest ER. The views expressed by the host and guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organizations or institutions. Reliance on any information provided by this podcast is solely at your own risk.

Somatic Therapy 101: The Nervous System Basics Behind Trauma Healing

If you've ever wondered why insight alone hasn't been enough to heal your trauma, this episode is your answer. We're going all the way back to fundamentals with a real somatic therapy 101, covering what somatic therapy actually is, how the nervous system holds onto trauma, and why healing from CPTSD requires more than just understanding your story. In this episode, we cover: Why trauma is a biological response, not just a psychological one (and what that means for your healing) The actual definition of somatic therapy, and the myths the internet keeps getting wrong A quick look at nervous system states: ventral vagal, sympathetic, and dorsal vagal, and why they matter for complex trauma specifically What your window of tolerance is, and why it can narrow over time Titration and pendulation: how somatic therapists help your body approach painful material safely How parts work (Internal Family Systems) connects directly to your nervous system states Why EMDR is a somatic therapy, not just "the eye movement thing" A nuanced conversation about The Body Keeps the Score and where current research agrees and pushes back Whether you're a trauma survivor trying to understand your own healing, or a fellow therapist looking for a clear, clinically grounded refresher, this episode is built to meet you where you are. Mentioned in this episode: Fawning as a Trauma Response episode Inner Child Healing and Reparenting episode Thanks for listening to The Complex Trauma Podcast! Be sure to follow, share and give us a review on your favorite podcast platform. Follow on Instagram: @sarahherstichlcsw Follow on TikTok: @sarahherstichlcsw Learn more about EMDR & trauma therapy in Pennsylvania with Reclaim Therapy This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or nutritional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Remember, I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. Nothing in this podcast is meant to replace actual therapy or treatment. If you're in crisis or things feel really unsafe right now, please reach out to someone. You can call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, text them, or head to your nearest ER. The views expressed by the host and guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organizations or institutions. Reliance on any information provided by this podcast is solely at your own risk.

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Why Your Nervous System Craves Certainty (And Why It Looks Like Control)

Ever been called controlling? Too rigid? Too much? On today's episode I breaks down why it was maybe never about control. Your nervous system has maybe been trying to answer one question this whole time: am I safe? This episode covers the real reason behind reassurance seeking, perfectionism, hypervigilance, overthinking, and food rules, and why none of it is a character flaw. Using research on predictive processing and a concept called precision weighting from EMDR therapist Thomas Zimmerman, Sarah explains why your brain keeps choosing the old danger prediction even when you're safe right now. And why understanding alone won't change it. In this episode: Why control was never the real issue What your body's been telling you Why reassurance works for five minutes and then stops What precision weighting is and why it matters What healing actually requires instead Listen to Thomas Zimmerman's episode on The Beauty and the Work of Complex Trauma here Thanks for listening to The Complex Trauma Podcast! Be sure to follow, share and give us a review on your favorite podcast platform. Follow on Instagram: @sarahherstichlcsw Follow on TikTok: @sarahherstichlcsw Learn more about EMDR & trauma therapy in Pennsylvania with Reclaim Therapy This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or nutritional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Remember, I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. Nothing in this podcast is meant to replace actual therapy or treatment. If you're in crisis or things feel really unsafe right now, please reach out to someone. You can call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, text them, or head to your nearest ER. The views expressed by the host and guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organizations or institutions. Reliance on any information provided by this podcast is solely at your own risk.

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Emotional Flashbacks in Complex Trauma Explained

Emotional flashbacks are one of the most common and most misunderstood experiences in complex trauma. Unlike visual flashbacks, they don't come with images or a clear memory. They arrive as intense feelings, shame, fear, loneliness, helplessness, often with no story attached and no warning. In this episode, Sarah breaks down what emotional flashbacks actually are. You'll learn why insight alone doesn't change the nervous system's predictions, what's happening in your body when each survival part gets activated, and what healing actually requires at the level of the body. In this episode: What emotional flashbacks are and why they're so hard to catch How implicit memory keeps the past alive in the present The four Fs and how each survival part feels in the body Why understanding your trauma isn't the same as healing it What ideal caregiver work looks like in trauma therapy A simple practice for when the wave hits Resources mentioned: Emotionally Corrective Experiences episode Understanding Dissociative Parts with Dr. Janina Fisher Pete Walker, Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving Thanks for listening to The Complex Trauma Podcast! Be sure to follow, share and give us a review on your favorite podcast platform. Follow on Instagram: @sarahherstichlcsw Follow on TikTok: @sarahherstichlcsw Learn more about EMDR & trauma therapy in Pennsylvania with Reclaim Therapy This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or nutritional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Remember, I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. Nothing in this podcast is meant to replace actual therapy or treatment. If you're in crisis or things feel really unsafe right now, please reach out to someone. You can call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, text them, or head to your nearest ER. The views expressed by the host and guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organizations or institutions. Reliance on any information provided by this podcast is solely at your own risk.

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Complex Trauma and the Belief That You're a Burden

Do you feel guilty every time you need something, even from people who love you? Do you find it easy to show up for everyone else but nearly impossible to let someone show up for you? If so, this episode is for you. In episode 135, I explore the belief that you are a burden. Not as a passing thought, but as a felt sense in the body that gets activated the moment you need something from another person. I break down where this pattern might come from developmentally, how it shows up differently across attachment styles, and why receiving care can feel more threatening than giving it. I also cover the body-based signature of shame, why you might not reach out until things are really bad, and how to start telling the difference between what you actually feel and what's actually true. If you've ever deleted a text asking for help, felt sick after reaching out, or wondered whether you're actually a burden or just convinced you are, this one's going to hit close to home. In this episode: The developmental roots of feeling like a burden Why giving feels safe and receiving feels threatening How attachment tendencies shape the way this shows up for you The body's role in shame and why connection sometimes can't get in A reflection and a small practice to try this week Thanks for listening to The Complex Trauma Podcast! Be sure to follow, share and give us a review on your favorite podcast platform. Follow on Instagram: @sarahherstichlcsw Follow on TikTok: @sarahherstichlcsw Learn more about EMDR & trauma therapy in Pennsylvania with Reclaim Therapy This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or nutritional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Remember, I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. Nothing in this podcast is meant to replace actual therapy or treatment. If you're in crisis or things feel really unsafe right now, please reach out to someone. You can call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, text them, or head to your nearest ER. The views expressed by the host and guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organizations or institutions. Reliance on any information provided by this podcast is solely at your own risk.

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Why Complex Trauma Survivors Struggle to Believe Themselves

Many complex trauma survivors struggle to trust their memories, emotions, perceptions, and reactions. In this episode, we're exploring why being disbelieved can feel so painful, how emotional neglect and attachment wounds can teach us to question ourselves, and why trauma often leaves us with fragments of memory instead of a clear narrative. We discuss: • Why not being believed can feel abandoning • How self-doubt becomes a survival strategy • Trauma memory and fragmentation • Why emotional neglect can be difficult to identify • The connection between CPTSD, self-trust, and attachment • How to begin rebuilding trust in yourself Whether you struggle with childhood emotional neglect, emotionally immature parents, dissociation, hypervigilance, people pleasing, perfectionism, or chronic self-doubt, this episode will help you understand why trusting yourself can feel so difficult, and how healing begins. Thanks for listening to The Complex Trauma Podcast! Be sure to follow, share and give us a review on your favorite podcast platform. Follow on Instagram: @sarahherstichlcsw Follow on TikTok: @sarahherstichlcsw Learn more about EMDR & trauma therapy in Pennsylvania with Reclaim Therapy This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or nutritional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Remember, I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. Nothing in this podcast is meant to replace actual therapy or treatment. If you're in crisis or things feel really unsafe right now, please reach out to someone. You can call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, text them, or head to your nearest ER. The views expressed by the host and guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organizations or institutions. Reliance on any information provided by this podcast is solely at your own risk.

Why Emotional Loneliness Runs So Deep in Complex Trauma

Emotional loneliness is one of the most common and least talked about experiences in complex trauma recovery. It's not about the number of people in your life. It's about whether your nervous system has learned to let them in. And for a lot of survivors, it hasn't. Not because something is permanently wrong with you, but because your nervous system learned some very specific things about connection a long time ago. In this episode, I break down some of the neuroscience and nervous system mechanics behind emotional loneliness in CPTSD, why it runs so much deeper than social isolation, and what actually helps. In this episode: Why emotional loneliness and social isolation are not the same thing, and why adding more people to your life won't fix the second one The push-pull cycle so many survivors live in, desperately wanting connection and pulling back the moment someone gets close How emotional neglect specifically creates a loneliness that's hard to name because the wound is in what didn't happen, not what did Why hyperindependence is often a nervous system adaptation, not a personality trait The role of the HPA axis and oxytocin in why connection can feel physically threatening even when you want it How shame creates concealment, and how concealment sustains loneliness in a cycle that's hard to break What dissociation and hypervigilance have to do with why connection doesn't land even when it's right in front of you Why healing often makes loneliness feel worse before it gets better, and what that actually means What capacity building looks like when the goal is learning to receive connection, not just find it Resources that might support you: Episode 126: The Inner Critic with Emily Pagone Episode 127: Attunement and Rupture in the Clinical Relationship with Katie Fries Episode 128: Fawning as a Trauma Response Thanks for listening to The Complex Trauma Podcast! Be sure to follow, share and give us a review on your favorite podcast platform. Follow on Instagram: @sarahherstichlcsw Follow on TikTok: @sarahherstichlcsw Learn more about EMDR & trauma therapy in Pennsylvania with Reclaim Therapy This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or nutritional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Remember, I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. Nothing in this podcast is meant to replace actual therapy or treatment. If you're in crisis or things feel really unsafe right now, please reach out to someone. You can call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, text them, or head to your nearest ER. The views expressed by the host and guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organizations or institutions. Reliance on any information provided by this podcast is solely at your own risk.

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What CPTSD Does to Your Sleep and Why Nothing Else Has Worked

Sleep is one of the most common struggles in the CPTSD community, and one of the least understood. If you've tried the routines, the supplements, the magnesium, the blue light glasses, and you're still lying awake at midnight or waking up at 3am feeling like something is wrong, this episode is for you. Today I break down why sleep is uniquely hard when you have complex trauma, what's actually happening in your nervous system at night, and what might actually help. In this episode: Why sleep requires felt safety and why that's so hard with CPTSD The two ends of the sleep struggle spectrum: can't fall asleep vs. sleeps but never feels rested Hypervigilance at night and why the quiet, dark room can become the trigger Nightmares as attempted processing and what's actually getting in the way The IFS lens: the protectors, managers, and exiles running the show at night Why parts work is nervous system work Sleep hygiene that actually makes sense for a dysregulated nervous system Somatic tools to try before bed and when you wake up at 3am References: Dana, D. (2018). The Polyvagal Theory in Therapy: Engaging the Rhythm of Regulation. Norton. Balban, M. Y., Neri, E., Kogon, M. M., Weed, L., Nourski, B., Picard, M., ... & Huberman, A. D. (2023). Brief structured respiration practices enhance mood and reduce physiological arousal. Cell Reports Medicine, 4(1). Southwick, S. M., Bremner, J. D., Rasmusson, A., Morgan, C. A., Arnsten, A., & Charney, D. S. (1999). Role of norepinephrine in the pathophysiology and treatment of posttraumatic stress disorder. Biological Psychiatry, 46(9), 1192–1204. Yehuda, R. (2002). Post-traumatic stress disorder. New England Journal of Medicine, 346(2), 108–114. Thanks for listening to The Complex Trauma Podcast! Be sure to follow, share and give us a review on your favorite podcast platform. Follow on Instagram: @sarahherstichlcsw Follow on TikTok: @sarahherstichlcsw Learn more about EMDR & trauma therapy in Pennsylvania with Reclaim Therapy This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or nutritional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Remember, I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. Nothing in this podcast is meant to replace actual therapy or treatment. If you're in crisis or things feel really unsafe right now, please reach out to someone. You can call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, text them, or head to your nearest ER. The views expressed by the host and guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organizations or institutions. Reliance on any information provided by this podcast is solely at your own risk.

What Inner Child Healing and Reparenting Actually Looks Like

Inner child healing isn't easy work. For people living with complex trauma, it can be one of the most neurobiologically specific processes in trauma recovery. And the version most people have been handed doesn't come close to touching it. In this episode we get into what inner child healing actually is, what the young part is really doing in your nervous system, and what reparenting actually looks like and what might get in the way. In this episode: Why the inner child wound shows up as exhaustion, automatic accommodation, and disconnection from your own needs more often than it shows up as a recognizable emotional reaction What emotional flashbacks are and why the inner critic is often the young part's most audible signal The difference between toxic shame and regular shame, and why that distinction matters for healing Why insight dissolves after therapy sessions and what's actually happening when the healing doesn't land What reparenting actually is at the neurological level, including the grief piece that most content skips entirely Four body-based practices for building a real relationship with the young part of you that never got what it needed If your nervous system is chronically dysregulated and you want somewhere to start, grab the free Dysregulation SOS Toolkit here. It's a practical, body-based resource for getting out of fight, flight, freeze, and fawn in real time. Clinical frameworks referenced in this episode include Janina Fisher's structural dissociation model, Internal Family Systems, and Pete Walker's work on complex PTSD and emotional flashbacks. Thanks for listening to The Complex Trauma Podcast! Be sure to follow, share and give us a review on your favorite podcast platform. Follow on Instagram: @sarahherstichlcsw Follow on TikTok: @sarahherstichlcsw Learn more about EMDR & trauma therapy in Pennsylvania with Reclaim Therapy This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or nutritional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Remember, I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. Nothing in this podcast is meant to replace actual therapy or treatment. If you're in crisis or things feel really unsafe right now, please reach out to someone. You can call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, text them, or head to your nearest ER. The views expressed by the host and guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organizations or institutions. Reliance on any information provided by this podcast is solely at your own risk.