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The Autism Handbook

Dr. Salena Justice

This is the handbook you never got. Whether you were diagnosed last week or decades ago, or you're still in that process of figuring it out, if you've ever felt like everyone else got instructions and you didn't, you're in the right place.

Every episode we're going to dig into something concrete and practical. Things like how to actually understand and cope with your emotions, communication strategies that work for a brain like yours, tools for planning and organizing your day, and how to navigate change without it completely derailing you. The kind of stuff that makes daily life feel a little more manageable and a little less like you're just figuring it out as you go.

My goal is simple. I want you to leave every episode with something you can actually use. Not just something to think about. Something to do.

I created this podcast because I kept seeing the same thing over and over in my practice. People coming to me who were smart, self-aware, and had already done so much work on themselves. They knew their patterns. They understood their struggles. What they were missing was someone handing them the actual tools. And I thought, I can make that accessible to more people than just the ones sitting across from me in a session.

At the end of the day the goal of the podcast is making sure you know you're not the only one who didn't get the handbook. And that it's not too late to get one.

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14 episodes
weekly
Avg 10 min
English

Episodes 14

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S1 · E14
Wednesday · 10 min
What is Time Blindness? and What Actually Helps
Ever looked up and realized two hours disappeared, or dreaded a task for a week and then finished it in five minutes? In this episode, I'm breaking down time blindness, what it actually is, why it happens, and the tools that make the biggest difference. I'm walking through why time can feel like just “now” and “not now,” what's actually happening with executive function underneath it, and six tools I use most with clients, including one of my favorites involving a stopwatch and a dishwasher. In this episode: What time blindness actually is, and why it shows up as both chronic lateness and chronic earliness Why it happens: executive function, task initiation, dread, and hyperfocus all playing a part Six tools that help, including timing everyday tasks, visual timers, layered alarms, buffer time, working backward from a deadline, and body doubling Why the fix isn't trying harder, it's moving the clock outside your head Resources mentioned: Follow on Instagram Learn more about therapy and assessments
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S1 · E13
October 7 · 11 min
Shutdown and Autistic Burnout, Are They The Same Thing?
Ever gone quiet for the whole evening and had no idea why, or watched someone you love go still and assumed the worst? In this episode, I'm breaking down what shutdown actually is, why it happens, and how it connects directly to autistic burnout. I'm walking through what shutdown looks like from the inside, how it's different from a meltdown, why it happens when your nervous system hits capacity, and what actually helps during and after one. In this episode: What shutdown actually is, and why it can look like going quiet, losing words, or staring at nothing for a while How shutdown differs from a meltdown, and why the same person can experience both depending on the day Why shutdown happens, and how it connects to autistic burnout, the short version and the long version of the same story What actually helps: reducing sensory and social demands, letting yourself stim and rest, and catching your early warning signs Resources mentioned: Follow on Instagram Learn more about therapy and assessments
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S1 · E12
September 30 · 6 min
Unmasking Your Autism, What It Actually Looks Like in Real Life
Ever been told to "just be your authentic self" and wondered what that even means when you're not sure what's underneath anymore? In this episode, I'm breaking down what unmasking actually looks like in real life, and why it's a lot less dramatic than the internet makes it sound. I'm walking through the small everyday choices that make up unmasking, why the mask can drop all at once after a diagnosis, and how to start noticing what's underneath without forcing anything. In this episode: What unmasking really looks like day to day: skipping forced eye contact, bringing a fidget to work, wearing ear plugs at a loud family dinner Why the mask can fall off all at once after a diagnosis, and what skill regression can look like when your autopilot disappears Why baby steps are the sustainable version, and why it isn't safe for everyone to unmask everywhere A simple place to start if you don't know what's underneath: noticing where you force yourself after a social situation Resources mentioned: Follow on Instagram Learn more about therapy and assessments
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S1 · E11
September 23 · 10 min
What to Say to a Partner or Friend After You Get Diagnosed as Autistic
Ever finally found the words for something you've carried for years, and then frozen when it came time to tell someone? In this episode, I'm breaking down what to say to a partner or a friend after you get diagnosed, and how to have that conversation without over-explaining your entire life. I'm walking through why this conversation feels so high stakes, how to approach a partner versus a friend, and what to remember if someone doesn't react the way you hoped. In this episode: Why telling someone feels so much bigger than it should, from the fear of being rewritten as broken to the pressure of breaking an unspoken contract as the low maintenance one How to tell a partner: picking your moment, connecting the diagnosis to things they've already seen, and giving them a specific job instead of just asking for understanding How to tell a friend, including how much backstory to share and why you don't owe anyone your whole history in one sitting What to do if it doesn't go well, and why one person's reaction is never a vote on whether you're autistic Resources mentioned: Follow on Instagram Learn more about therapy and assessments
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S1 · E10
September 16 · 11 min
Workplace Accommodations That Actually Help Autistic Folks
Ever known something at work is harder for you than it needs to be, and talked yourself out of asking for a change anyway? In this episode, I'm breaking down what workplace accommodations actually look like, and how to ask for them without it turning into a whole ordeal. I'm walking through what actually counts as an accommodation, why asking feels so loaded when you've spent years masking, real examples that make a difference, and language you can use whether or not you're ready to disclose anything at all. In this episode: What actually counts as an accommodation, and why most of them don't require a diagnosis, HR, or a formal process Why asking feels so hard when you've built your whole skill set around blending in Real accommodations that help: sensory, communication, workload, and social changes that actually move the needle How to ask, with actual scripts, plus what to do if you're not ready to disclose or if you get pushback Resources mentioned: Follow on Instagram Learn more about therapy and assessments
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S1 · E9
September 9 · 15 min
The Misdiagnosis Pipeline: Are You Anxious, Depressed, or Autistic?
Ever been in therapy for years, doing everything right, and it still doesn't quite land? In this episode, I'm breaking down why anxiety, depression, or BPD so often gets named before autism ever does, and what that actually costs someone by the time they get the real answer. I'm walking through why high-masking autism doesn't look like what most clinicians were trained to spot, why BPD in particular gets misapplied so often, and what it means for you if any of this sounds familiar. In this episode: Why anxiety and depression get named first, and why treating them as the whole picture leaves people managing symptoms without ever finding the source Why BPD gets misdiagnosed so often, and what's actually happening underneath things like rejection sensitivity, meltdowns, and shutdowns Why clinicians miss it: outdated training, masking, and diagnostic tools that were never built with adults in mind What it actually costs to spend years being treated for the wrong thing, and what actually helps once you're looking at the full picture Resources mentioned: Follow on Instagram Learn more about therapy and assessments
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S1 · E8
September 2 · 8 min
The 0% at home problem — giving everything at work and having nothing left
Ever give everything you have at work and have nothing left the second you walk in the door? In this episode, I'm breaking down why the “0%” feeling isn't laziness, and what's actually driving it. I'm walking through why work costs high-masking autistic adults so much more than the job itself, why that cost is invisible to everyone around you, and what actually helps once you're running on empty. In this episode: What the 0% actually looks like, and why work drains high-masking autistic adults more than the job itself Why the exhaustion is invisible from the outside, and why that makes it look like laziness Why “just push through it” backfires and leads to full autistic burnout What actually helps: acknowledging it, building in recovery time, lowering the bar at home, and adapting your day-to-day Resources mentioned: Follow on Instagram Learn more about therapy and assessments
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S1 · E7
August 26 · 10 min
What an Adult Autism Assessment Actually Looks Like
Wondering what actually happens in an autism assessment? In this episode, I'm walking through exactly what the process looks like with me, from the first consult call to the final report. I use an interview-based approach instead of leading with observation, because for high-masking clients, observation alone tends to miss what's actually going on underneath. In this episode: Why I don't lead with observation-based tools like the ADOS for high-masking clients What happens before the interview: the consult call and the self-report measures What the 90-minute interview actually covers, area by area What to expect emotionally during the interview What happens after: the follow-up session, your diagnosis, and your report Resources mentioned: Follow on Instagram Learn more about therapy and assessments
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S1 · E6
August 19 · 10 min
Autistic Burnout Isn't Just Being Tired
Autistic burnout isn't just being tired. In this episode, I'm breaking down what autistic burnout actually is, how it's different from everyday burnout, and the seven things that tend to cause it. It's a specific kind of exhaustion that builds up slowly, often from a handful of causes stacking on top of each other, until it finally catches up with you. In this episode: What autistic burnout actually is, and the six signs that tend to show up together How autistic burnout is different from regular work or life burnout The seven most common causes I see in my practice A real, identity-protected example of how these causes stack up without anyone noticing One simple weekly check-in you can start using to catch burnout before it becomes a shutdown Resources mentioned: Free worksheet: Identifying Your Autistic Burnout Causes Follow on Instagram Learn more about therapy and assessments
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S1 · E5
August 12 · 9 min
Routines vs. Rhythms: Why Your Routine Keeps Falling Apart
If you've ever built a routine, stuck to it for a while, and then abandoned it the moment something went wrong, this episode is for you. In this episode Dr. Salena Justice introduces the concept of rhythms versus routines and why the shift in thinking can completely change your relationship with structure. Adapted from the work of Dr. Tay, a psychologist specializing in autistic kids, this framework has been really impactful with adult clients too. In this episode: Why structure and predictability are genuinely regulating for autistic brains Why rigid routines often fail, and why that's not a personal failing The all or nothing thought pattern that causes routines to collapse What a rhythm actually is and how it differs from a routine A real life workday example of a rigid routine vs a rhythm What anchors are and how to identify yours How to build a rhythm that can survive real life interruptions Your takeaway: how to start building a rhythm this week Resources: Dr. Tay - psychologist specializing in autistic kids Follow on Instagram: @dr.salenajustice Learn more about therapy and assessments
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S1 · E4
August 5 · 11 min
What Is Masking, Anyways?
If you've heard the word masking but aren't totally sure what it looks like in your own life, this episode is for you. In this episode Dr. Salena Justice breaks down autistic masking, what it actually is, why it happens, and what it looks like across every area of daily life. It also includes an honest conversation about why unmasking isn't always the goal and why that nuance matters. In this episode: What autistic camouflaging actually is and why it's more than just masking The three components of camouflaging: compensation, assimilation, and masking Why masking is a survival strategy, not a choice, and why it often develops without anyone realizing it The social chameleon experience and how autistic assimilation goes beyond a typical work persona Why unmasking isn't always safe or realistic, especially for people of color and marginalized communities What masking looks like in social situations, your body, your emotions, at work, and in relationships Why years of masking can leave you genuinely unsure of who you actually are Your action step: how to start noticing your masking without judgment Resources: Free worksheet: Identifying How You Mask Your Autistic Traits Follow on Instagram: @dr.salenajustice Learn more about therapy and assessments
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S1 · E3
July 29 · 10 min
How to ACTUALLY Manage Your Energy
Have you ever had a day where you did nothing and still felt completely exhausted? There's actually a really good explanation for that. In this episode I break down energy accounting, one of the frameworks I come back to constantly in my work with autistic adults. Once you understand it, you start to see your energy in a completely different way. Credit to Dr. Megan Anna Neff whose work on this concept has been incredibly influential. In this episode: What energy accounting actually is and why the phone battery analogy works What drains the battery, work, socializing, masking, sensory environments, unexpected changes, and emotional labor What charges the battery and why it's more personal than people think Why some things do both and how to get specific about which is which for you The most important thing nobody talks about, why you need a little battery left to recharge Your takeaway, how to start mapping your own energy this week Resources mentioned: Dr. Megan Anna Neff, autistic burnout and energy resources Follow on Instagram Learn more about therapy and assessments
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S1 · E2
July 29 · 12 min
What Is Autism, Really?
When most people hear the word autism they picture something pretty specific. Usually a young boy. Usually someone with very obvious social difficulties. That's one presentation. But it's a really narrow slice of what autism actually looks like, and it's the reason so many adults go completely undetected for decades. In this episode I go through the DSM criteria for autism one by one, but not in a textbook way. In a real life, this is what it actually looks like in the adults I work with every day kind of way. In this episode: The official DSM definition in plain language Deficits in social emotional reciprocity, what this looks like beyond "not making eye contact" Nonverbal communication differences and why compensatory strategies hide them The truth about relationships, friendships, and the unspoken rules nobody explained Stimming in adults, the subtle version most people don't recognize Insistence on sameness, rigid routines, and black and white thinking Special interests in women and why they often look socially acceptable Sensory differences, hyper and hypo reactivity in everyday life Why autism gets missed in adults, especially women and high masking folks Resources mentioned: Follow on Instagram Learn more about therapy and assessments
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S1 · E1
July 22 · 5 min
This is the Handbook that You Never Got
Welcome to The Autism Handbook. In this first episode I introduce myself, share a little about how I got into this work, and explain exactly what you can expect from this show. I'm Dr. Salena Justice, a licensed psychologist who specializes in diagnosing and treating high-masking autistic adults. I've spent my entire career working with people who are really good at seeming fine. Until they're not. This podcast exists because I kept seeing the same gap over and over. Smart, self-aware adults who already understood their patterns but had no idea what to actually do about them. The Autism Handbook is my attempt to fill that gap, one concrete, practical episode at a time. In this episode: How I got into specializing in autistic adults What shifted in my practice after COVID Why I created this podcast and who it's for What to expect from upcoming episodes Resources mentioned: Follow on Instagram Learn more about therapy and assessments
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