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The Allusionist

Helen Zaltzman

Adventures in language with Helen Zaltzman. TheAllusionist.org

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  • 24 episodes
  • fortnightly
  • Avg 40 min
  • English

Episodes 24

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  • Tuesday · 34 min

    234. No Names

    Alexinomia is the aversion to saying people's names. Psychologist Thomas Ditye explains what it means to have this condition - in some cases not even saying your spouse's name during 25 years of marriage - and the research he and colleague Lisa Welleschik are doing to learn more about it. Find their work (and tell them about your alexinomia, if you have it) at alexinomia.org. For more info and a transcript of this episode, visit theallusionist.org/alexinomia. Sign up at theallusionist.org/donate to fund the continuing existence of this independent podcast. For $5/month or above, get the ad-free version of the show; donors at all levels can join me for regular livestreams where I read relaxingly from my ever-expanding collection of vintage dictionaries, plus you get bonus written content including behind the scenes info about every episode, membership of the Allusioverse Discord community, and watchalong parties for films and TV shows: together we'll watch the 2026 season of Great British Bake Off and you get my drawings of Paul Hollywood in the style of medieval marginalia. Find the Allusionist at youtube.com/allusionistshow, instagram.com/allusionistshow, facebook.com/allusionistshow, @allusionistshow.bsky.social… If I’m there, I’m there as @allusionistshow. Our ad partner is Multitude. If you want me to talk compellingly about your product, sponsor an episode: contact Multitude at multitudeshows.com/ads. The Allusionist is sponsored by: • Jones Road, modern-day makeup tfor effortless routines. Shop at Jonesroadbeauty.com and use code ALLUSIONIST at checkout to get a free full-size mascara. • Squarespace, your one-stop shop for building and running your online forever home. Go to squarespace.com/allusionist for a free trial, and get 10 percent off your first purchase of a website or domain with the code allusionist. • Quince, luxurious clothing and homewares without the markup. Go to quince.com/allusionist for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

  • September 9 · 40 min

    233. Phobia

    'Phobia' gets used for anything from a mild aversion to a debilitating anxiety response to various forms of bigotry. Deboki Chakravarti and Sam Jones of the podcast Tiny Matters join to consider the term from its comedic origins with one of the founding fathers of the USA, via rabies and Greek deities, to its role in their lives today. CONTENT NOTE: we’re not trying to stoke anyone’s phobias, but we do discuss some common phobia-inducers, including snakes, germs and small holes, and there’s a brief mention of tarantulas. There’s also talk about OCD and rabies. For more info and a transcript of this episode, visit theallusionist.org/phobia. There's a social meetup in Vancouver on Sunday 13 September, to watch the annual zucchini races. All are welcome. Information is at theallusionist.org/events. Sign up at theallusionist.org/donate to fund the continuing existence of this independent podcast. In return, you can join me for regular livestreams where I read relaxingly from my ever-expanding collection of vintage dictionaries, plus you get bonus written content including behind the scenes info about every episode, membership of the Allusioverse Discord community, and watchalong parties for films and TV shows: together we'lll watch the 2026 season of Great British Bake Off and like last year there'll be some particularly chaotic bonus content. For $5/month or above, get the ad-free version of the show. Find the Allusionist at youtube.com/allusionistshow, instagram.com/allusionistshow, facebook.com/allusionistshow, @allusionistshow.bsky.social… If I’m there, I’m there as @allusionistshow. Our ad partner is Multitude. If you want me to talk compellingly about your product, sponsor an episode: contact Multitude at multitudeshows.com/ads. The Allusionist is sponsored by: • Jones Road, modern-day makeup tfor effortless routines. Shop at Jonesroadbeauty.com and use code ALLUSIONIST at checkout to get a free full-size mascara. • Squarespace, your one-stop shop for building and running your online forever home. Go to squarespace.com/allusionist for a free trial, and get 10 percent off your first purchase of a website or domain with the code allusionist. • Quince, luxurious clothing and homewares without the markup. Go to quince.com/allusionist for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

  • August 25 · 33 min

    232. Vega

    What do you call yourself if you're a part-time vegetarian? What petty linguistic things would you change? And what do you do if people gripe at you if you say that you are bi or pan? To answer these questions from the Allusionist mailbag are esteemed alumsionists: Hrishikesh Hirway and Samin Nosrat of Home Cooking podcast; academic and author Alex Ketchum; lexicographer Kory Stamper; and linguist Lauren Gawne of Lingthusiasm podcast. For more info and a transcript of this episode, visit theallusionist.org/vega. Sign up at theallusionist.org/donate to fund the continuing existence of this independent podcast. In return, you can join me for regular livestreams where I read relaxingly from my ever-expanding collection of vintage dictionaries, plus you get bonus written content including behind the scenes info about every episode, membership of the Allusioverse Discord community, and watchalong parties for films and TV shows: together we're watching the 2026 season of Great British Sewing Bee. For $5/month or above, get the ad-free version of the show. Find the Allusionist at youtube.com/allusionistshow, instagram.com/allusionistshow, facebook.com/allusionistshow, @allusionistshow.bsky.social… If I’m there, I’m there as @allusionistshow. Our ad partner is Multitude. If you want me to talk compellingly about your product, sponsor an episode: contact Multitude at multitudeshows.com/ads. The Allusionist is sponsored by: • Squarespace, your one-stop shop for building and running your online forever home. Go to squarespace.com/allusionist for a free trial, and get 10 percent off your first purchase of a website or domain with the code allusionist. • Quince, luxurious clothing and homewares without the markup. Go to quince.com/allusionist for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

  • August 11 · 21 min

    Tranquillusionist: cheesy cheesybobs

    This is the Tranquillusionist, in which I, Helen Zaltzman, say a series of words to relax your mind, replace a hectic interior monologue, maybe lull you to sleep, hopefully quell the mental uproar just for a little while. Today: nicknames for woodlice AKA rolypoly bugs AKA slaters AKA all these other things; and a list of cheeses from Great Britain and Ireland. If you need to skip the woodlouse content, go to the 5 minutes 45 seconds mark, whereupon the cheese begins. Note: this is NOT a normal episode of the Allusionist, where you might learn something about language and your brain might be stimulated. The Tranquillusionist's purpose is to soothe your brain and for you to learn very little - perhaps just a couple of facts about woodlouse urination and a 9th-century saint. Visit theallusionist.org/cheesy-cheesybobs for a transcript and more information about cheese and woodlice. There's a collection of other Tranquillusionists at theallusionist.org/tranquillusionist, on themes including champion dogs, Australia's big things, gay animals, ex-constellations and more. Sign up at theallusionist.org/donate to fund the continuing existence of this independent podcast. In return, you can join me for regular livestreams where I read relaxingly from my ever-expanding collection of vintage dictionaries, plus you get bonus written content including behind the scenes info about every episode, membership of the Allusioverse Discord community, and watchalong parties for films and TV shows: together we're watching the 2026 season of Great British Sewing Bee. For $5/month or above, get the ad-free version of the show. Find the Allusionist at youtube.com/allusionistshow, instagram.com/allusionistshow, facebook.com/allusionistshow, @allusionistshow.bsky.social… If I’m there, I’m there as @allusionistshow. Our ad partner is Multitude. If you want me to talk compellingly about your product, sponsor an episode: contact Multitude at multitudeshows.com/ads. The Allusionist is sponsored by: • Squarespace, your one-stop shop for building and running your online forever home. Go to squarespace.com/allusionist for a free trial, and get 10 percent off your first purchase of a website or domain with the code allusionist. • Quince, luxurious clothing and homewares without the markup. Go to quince.com/allusionist for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

  • July 13 · 25 min

    231. Lingthusionist

    “Linguistics and language is such a good mechanism for being curious,” says Lauren Gawne, linguistics prof, author of the book Gesture: A Slim Guide, and cohost of the podcast Lingthusiasm. I'm in vacation mode (although not on actual vacation alas), so today's episode is a fun chat with our nice pal about making language podcasts, the firey digestive punishments for linguistics researchers, working in reality television, and cute tame nouns versus scary intimidating verbs. There's a longer version of this conversation available for free over on Lingthusiasm’s Patreon, patreon.com/lingthusiasm, including Lauren explaining how she broke a famous linguistic theory. Listen to Lingthusiasm in the pod places and at lingthusiasm.com. Content note: this episode contains one category A swear and a category B swear. Visit theallusionist.org/lingthusionist for a transcript and links to various topics mentioned in the episode. Sign up at theallusionist.org/donate to fund the continuing existence of this independent podcast. In return, you can join me for regular livestreams where I read relaxingly from my ever-expanding collection of vintage dictionaries, plus behind the scenes info about every episode, membership of the Allusioverse Discord community, and watchalong parties for films and TV shows: together we're watching the 2026 season of Great British Sewing Bee, starting 14 July 2026. Find the Allusionist at youtube.com/allusionistshow, instagram.com/allusionistshow, facebook.com/allusionistshow, @allusionistshow.bsky.social… If I’m there, I’m there as @allusionistshow. Our ad partner is Multitude. If you want me to talk compellingly about your product, sponsor an episode: contact Multitude at multitudeshows.com/ads. This episode is sponsored by Squarespace, your one-stop shop for building and running your online forever home. Go to squarespace.com/allusionist for a free trial, and get 10 percent off your first purchase of a website or domain with the code allusionist. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

  • June 26 · 46 min

    230. Draculae part 4: Transformation

    Throughout the Draculae miniseries, about the Swedish and Icelandic translations of Dracula that played fast and loose with the original text, I've been wondering a couple of questions: why are cover versions of songs and remakes of films so normal and acceptable, whereas cover versions in book form cause such a stir? And do these Scandinavian Draculae count as fan fiction? And if not, why not? Fansplaining.com's Elizabeth Minkel explains what fan fiction can mean. Visit theallusionist.org/transformation for more information plus a transcript of the episode. And though this is the fourth and last part of the Draculae miniseries, it is more inspired by than directly connected to the other episodes, so you don't have to listen to them beforehand. But do listen to them, they're very fun and intriguing! Content note: this episode contains some references to (but not descriptions of) sexual content and sex slavery. There is also mention of J.K. Rowling. Sign up at theallusionist.org/donate to fund the continuing existence of this independent podcast. In return, you can join me for regular livestreams where I read relaxingly from my ever-expanding collection of vintage dictionaries, plus behind the scenes info about every episode, membership of the Allusioverse Discord community, and watchalong parties for films and TV shows. Find the Allusionist at youtube.com/allusionistshow, instagram.com/allusionistshow, facebook.com/allusionistshow, @allusionistshow.bsky.social… If I’m there, I’m there as @allusionistshow. Our ad partner is Multitude. If you want me to talk compellingly about your product, sponsor an episode: contact Multitude at multitudeshows.com/ads. This episode is sponsored by Squarespace, your one-stop shop for building and running your online forever home. Go to squarespace.com/allusionist for a free trial, and get 10 percent off your first purchase of a website or domain with the code allusionist. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

  • June 9 · 37 min

    229. Draculae part 3: Hunting Down the Count

    Many mysteries accompany the revelations that Powers of Darkness, the Icelandic and Swedish versions of Dracula, are not direct translations of Bram Stoker's original, but stories that significantly differ in character names, plot and runtime. Like: did Bram Stoker write it himself, to publish some raunchy content that British censors would forbid? Was Powers of Darkness based on his early drafts? And did he really not copyright Dracula in the USA was that a deliberate ruse? Welllll... brace yourself for ole thrill-destroyer Zaltzman to pop your balloons of excitement. Searching for the truth among all the rumours and texts are producer Iris Ishichita of the Powers of Darkness podcast, and Will Trimble and Hans Corneel de Roos, who orchestrated English translations of respectively the Swedish and Icelandic Powers of Darknesses. This is the third episode of the Draculae miniseries. Before listening to it, check out the first and second episodes explaining the three versions of Dracula and why we are talking about them. And visit theallusionist.org/draculae3 for more information plus a transcript of the episode. Sign up at theallusionist.org/donate to fund the continuing existence of this independent podcast. In return, you can join me for regular livestreams where I read relaxingly from my ever-expanding collection of vintage dictionaries, plus behind the scenes info about every episode, membership of the Allusioverse Discord community, and watchalong parties for films and TV shows. Find the Allusionist at youtube.com/allusionistshow, instagram.com/allusionistshow, facebook.com/allusionistshow, @allusionistshow.bsky.social… If I’m there, I’m there as @allusionistshow. Our ad partner is Multitude. If you want me to talk compellingly about your product, sponsor an episode: contact Multitude at multitudeshows.com/ads. This episode is sponsored by Squarespace, your one-stop shop for building and running your online forever home. Go to squarespace.com/allusionist for a free trial, and get 10 percent off your first purchase of a website or domain with the code allusionist. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

  • May 25 · 36 min

    228. Draculae part 2: Surprises in the Vaults

    Happy World Dracula Day to all who celebrate! Visit theallusionist.org/draculae2 for more information about the topics in this episode plus a transcript. This is the second episode of the Draculae miniseries, about a literary mystery which came to me via a meme: “Someone translated Dracula into Icelandic, and it took over 100 years for anyone to point out he just made a fanfic rewrite of what he wanted the story to be.” In Draculae part 2, Ásgeir Jónsson explains how he got that Icelandic adaptation of Dracula back into print, to little fanfare - but then Dutch scholar Hans Corneel de Roos set about making an English translation. Following that: like me, Will Trimble also got meme-struck, and that propelled him to get a translation of the Swedish version that begat the Icelandic one. Before listening to this, check out the first episode of the Draculae miniseries explaining the three versions of Dracula: Dracula published by Bram Stoker in 1897; the Icelandic version Makt Myrkranna by newspaper editor Valdimar Ásmundsson, serialised in his newspaper Fyallkonan in 1900-1901; and the Swedish version Mörkrets makter by an author known only as A—e, and serialised in a couple of Swedish newspapers 1899-1900. Sign up at theallusionist.org/donate to fund the continuing existence of this independent podcast. In return, you can join me for regular livestreams where I read relaxingly from my ever-expanding collection of vintage dictionaries, plus behind the scenes info about every episode, membership of the Allusioverse Discord community, and watchalong parties for films and TV shows. Find the Allusionist at youtube.com/allusionistshow, instagram.com/allusionistshow, facebook.com/allusionistshow, @allusionistshow.bsky.social… If I’m there, I’m there as @allusionistshow. Our ad partner is Multitude. If you want me to talk compellingly about your product, sponsor an episode: contact Multitude at multitudeshows.com/ads. This episode is sponsored by: Squarespace, your one-stop shop for building and running your online forever home. Go to squarespace.com/allusionist for a free trial, and get 10 percent off your first purchase of a website or domain with the code allusionist. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

  • May 11 · 22 min

    227. Draculae part 1: Enter the Castle

    A literary mystery came to me via a meme: “Someone translated Dracula into Icelandic, and it took over 100 years for anyone to point out he just made a fanfic rewrite of what he wanted the story to be.” In this first instalment of a short series about three versions of Dracula, we familiarise ourselves with the plots of Dracula published by Bram Stoker in 1897; the Icelandic version Makt Myrkranna by newspaper editor Valdimar Ásmundsson, serialised in his newspaper Fyallkonan in 1900-1901; and the Swedish version Mörkrets makter by an author known only as A—e, and serialised in a couple of Swedish newspapers 1899-1900. Visit theallusionist.org/draculae1 for more information about the topics in this episode plus a transcript. Sign up at theallusionist.org/donate to fund the continuing existence of this independent podcast. In return, you can join me for regular livestreams where I read relaxingly from my ever-expanding collection of vintage dictionaries, plus behind the scenes info about every episode, membership of the Allusioverse Discord community, and watchalong parties for films and TV shows. Find the Allusionist at youtube.com/allusionistshow, instagram.com/allusionistshow, facebook.com/allusionistshow, @allusionistshow.bsky.social… If I’m there, I’m there as @allusionistshow. Our ad partner is Multitude. If you want me to talk compellingly about your product, sponsor an episode: contact Multitude at multitudeshows.com/ads. This episode is sponsored by: • Squarespace, your one-stop shop for building and running your online forever home. Go to squarespace.com/allusionist for a free trial, and get 10 percent off your first purchase of a website or domain with the code allusionist. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

  • April 27 · 44 min

    226. Suburbia

    "The word ‘suburbia’ sort of evokes a very fixed idea of a place that is identikit, that all suburbs are the same, that within the suburb everything is the same, that all people are the same, all experiences are the same," says social historian and author John Grindrod, "I think it has this kind of flattening-out facility, that word, that isn't true." Content note: this episode contains one category B swear. And reference to Margaret Thatcher. Visit theallusionist.org/suburbia for more information about the topics in this episode plus a transcript. Find John Grindrod's work at johngrindrod.co.uk, including his new book Tales of the Suburbs: LGBTQ+ Lives Behind Net Curtains, and his podcast Monstrosities Mon Amour. This episode was produced by me, Helen Zaltzman, on the unceded ancestral and traditional territory of xʷməθkʷəy̓əm (Musqueam), Sḵwx̱wú7mesh (Squamish), and səlilwətaɬ (Tsleil-Waututh) Nations. Music and editorial advice were provided by Martin Austwick of palebirdmusic.com. Sign up at theallusionist.org/donate to fund the continuing existence of this independent podcast. In return, you can join me for regular livestreams where I read relaxingly from my ever-expanding collection of vintage dictionaries, plus behind the scenes info about every episode, membership of the Allusioverse Discord community, and watchalong parties for films and TV shows - we had a very special time watching the film adaptation of Maurice. What shall we watch next? Find the Allusionist at youtube.com/allusionistshow, instagram.com/allusionistshow, facebook.com/allusionistshow, @allusionistshow.bsky.social… If I’m there, I’m there as @allusionistshow. Our ad partner is Multitude. If you want me to talk compellingly about your product, sponsor an episode: contact Multitude at multitudeshows.com/ads. This episode is sponsored by: • Squarespace, your one-stop shop for building and running your online forever home. Go to squarespace.com/allusionist for a free trial, and get 10 percent off your first purchase of a website or domain with the code allusionist. • Quince, luxurious clothing and homewares at prices 50-80% lower than comparable brands. Go to Quince.com/allusionist for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. • Factor, fully prepared meals designed by dietitians and crafted by chefs with 100 menu options each week, always fresh never frozen. To get 50 percent off and free breakfast for a year, go to factormeals.com/allusionist50off and use code allusionist50off. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

  • April 13 · 41 min

    225. Hues

    You know what's an absolutely pesky kind of word to define in a dictionary? Colour names. A passel of lexicographers spent years - decades, even - trying different ways to describe colours in words for Webster's Third International Dictionary. It was such a huge, complicated effort that it took twelve years for former Merriam-Webster lexicographer Kory Stamper to write a book about it. Content note: this episode contains a couple of category B swears. There is also mention of puke - but, emetophobes, it's not the puke that you think. Visit theallusionist.org/hues for more information about the topics in this episode plus a transcript of the episode. Find Kory's work at korystamper.com, including her new book True Color: the Strange and Spectacular Quest to Define Color, from Azure to Zinc. This episode was produced by me, Helen Zaltzman, on the unceded ancestral and traditional territory of xʷməθkʷəy̓əm (Musqueam), Sḵwx̱wú7mesh (Squamish), and səlilwətaɬ (Tsleil-Waututh) Nations. Music and editorial advice were provided by Martin Austwick of palebirdmusic.com. Sign up at theallusionist.org/donate to join me for regular livestreams where I read from my ever-expanding collection of vintage dictionaries. This multi-year project has proven very revealing about the idiosyncrasies of dictionaries, and the people who write them! (Some of whom alas can't get enough of the word 'pudend.) As well as that, you get behind the scenes info about every episode, plus watchalong parties for films and TV shows - you're in time to catch the end of the first season of the very funny Australian murder mystery Deadloch - and you get the company of your fellows in the Allusioverse Discord community. And best of all, you're funding the continuing existence of this independent podcast. Find the Allusionist at youtube.com/allusionistshow, instagram.com/allusionistshow, facebook.com/allusionistshow, @allusionistshow.bsky.social… If I’m there, I’m there as @allusionistshow. Our ad partner is Multitude. If you want me to talk compellingly about your product, sponsor an episode: contact Multitude at multitudeshows.com/ads. This episode is sponsored by: • Squarespace, your one-stop shop for building and running your online forever home. Go to squarespace.com/allusionist for a free trial, and get 10 percent off your first purchase of a website or domain with the code allusionist. • Quince, luxurious clothing and homewares at prices 50-80% lower than comparable brands. Go to Quince.com/allusionist for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. • Factor, fully prepared meals designed by dietitians and crafted by chefs with 100 menu options each week, always fresh never frozen. To get 50 percent off and free breakfast for a year, go to factormeals.com/allusionist50off and use code allusionist50off. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

  • February 9 · 16 min

    224. Cosmic Hairball

    Pack your oxygen tank, we're going to space. There’s a lot of etymology up there. Visit theallusionist.org/cosmic-hairball for more information about the topics in this episode plus a transcript of the episode. The singing and score is by Martin Austwick. Download his own songs that aren't about space milk at palebirdmusic.com and on Bandcamp. The show is taking a little break, and will return early April 2026. To keep in touch in the meantime, head over to theallusionist.org/donate where from as little as $2/month, or as much as $infinity per month if you prefer, you get written bonus content including behind-the-scenes info about every episode; you also get membership of the charming and nurturing Allusioverse Discord community, where we hang out and keep each other company; watch parties such as Chungking Express, Belle and The Ice Storm, and the current season of Great Pottery Throwdown; AND you get more regular livestreams with me reading from my ever-growing collection of dictionaries. AND you're keeping this independent podcast going, so thanks very much for doing that and sparing it from going to the farm upstate. You can also sign up for a free account at the same place, to get occasional email updates. This episode was produced by me, Helen Zaltzman, on the unceded ancestral and traditional territory of xʷməθkʷəy̓əm (Musqueam), Sḵwx̱wú7mesh (Squamish), and səlilwətaɬ (Tsleil-Waututh) Nations. Find the Allusionist at youtube.com/allusionistshow, instagram.com/allusionistshow, facebook.com/allusionistshow, @allusionistshow.bsky.social… If I’m there, I’m there as @allusionistshow. Our ad partner is Multitude. If you want me to talk compellingly about your product, sponsor an episode: contact Multitude at multitude.productions/ads. This episode is sponsored by Squarespace, your one-stop shop for building and running your online forever home. Go to squarespace.com/allusionist for a free trial, and get 10 percent off your first purchase of a website or domain with the code allusionist. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

  • January 20 · 33 min

    223. Bonus 2025

    It's the annual parade of Bonus Bits! Every year, the show's guests say too many interesting things and/or stuff that isn't languagey enough, so I save it up and release it in a delightful melange of facts and thoughts, about language and also not about language. That melange is today, and it includes dinosaur mouths and dinosaur poop, psychedelic plants, feminist cookbooks, and taking a class in profanity. You hear, in order of appearance: Alex Ketchum, Martin Austwick, So Mayer, Hannah McGregor, Kelly Elizabeth Wright and Nicole Holliday. Content note: there are category A swears in this episode. Visit theallusionist.org/bonus2025 for a transcript of the episode and more information about all the people who appear in it, plus links to the previous Allusionists they were in. (And yes I know 2025 is over, but I had to delay this for a month while enjoying a nasty bout of laryngitis, AKA Podcaster's Plague.) Sign up at patreon.com/allusionist for a free account to get occasional emails about Allusionist events and such, like the birthdaylusionist livestream happening on 24 January at youtube.com/allusionistshow. Or, if you want a not-free account from $2/month, you get some more emails, with behind-the-scenes info about every episode; you also get membership of the charming and nurturing Allusioverse Discord community, where we hang out and keep each other company, and we're also watching the current season of Great Pottery Throwdown together; AND you get more regular livestreams with me reading from my ever-growing collection of dictionaries. AND you're keeping this independent podcast going, so thanks very much for doing that. This episode was produced by me, Helen Zaltzman, on the unceded ancestral and traditional territory of xʷməθkʷəy̓əm (Musqueam), Sḵwx̱wú7mesh (Squamish), and səlilwətaɬ (Tsleil-Waututh) Nations. The music is by Martin Austwick. Download his own songs at palebirdmusic.com and on Bandcamp, and listen to his podcasts Song By Song and Neutrino Watch. Find the Allusionist at youtube.com/allusionistshow, instagram.com/allusionistshow, facebook.com/allusionistshow, @allusionistshow.bsky.social… If I’m there, I’m there as @allusionistshow. Our ad partner is Multitude. If you want me to talk compellingly about your product, sponsor an episode: contact Multitude at multitude.productions/ads. This episode is sponsored by Squarespace, your one-stop shop for building and running your online forever home. Go to squarespace.com/allusionist for a free trial, and get 10 percent off your first purchase of a website or domain with the code allusionist. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

  • Dec 7, 2025 · 2 hr 48 min

    222. A Christmas Carol

    Today, we read the novelisation of The Muppet Christmas Carol, also known as the 1843 festive lit hit A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens. Read by me, Helen Zaltzman; music, sound effects and additional vocals are by Martin Austwick of palebirdmusic.com. Content warning: 200-year-old attitudes towards disability. Also warning for GHOSTS. Scroll way down your podfeed or go to theallusionist.org/dickens-christmas to listen to the episode called How The Dickens Stole Christmas, which is about just why this book has such a big influence on festivities even nearly two centuries later. And it features podcasting luminaries Greg Jenner, Katie Mingle and Avery Trufelman. There are also several other festive episodes of the show, including ones about why Santa St Nick Father Christmas Kringle Klaas has so many names, Christmas song lyrics where the letters sent to Santa go, and a portmanteau word that kicked off a lot of War On Christmas. They're all gathered at theallusionist.org/festivelusionist. Support the show at theallusionist.org/donate and as well as keeping this independent podcast going, you also get to list your creative works in this year's Allusioverse Gift Guide, plus you receive bonus written material about every episode; regular livestreams with me and Martin reading from my ever-growing collection of dictionaries; and the charming and nurturing Allusioverse Discord community, where among daily sharing of thoughts and amusements, this month we will be watching The Muppet Christmas Carol and Knives Out. Find the Allusionist at youtube.com/allusionistshow, instagram.com/allusionistshow, facebook.com/allusionistshow, @allusionistshow.bsky.social… If I’m there, I’m there as @allusionistshow. Our ad partner is Multitude. If you want me to talk compellingly about your product, sponsor an episode: contact Multitude at multitude.productions/ads. This episode is sponsored by: • Greenwood Lake Roasters, purveyors of small batch craft coffee roasted just outside of NYC. Go to GreenwoodLakeRoasters.com to place your order - do it between now and December 31st and use the checkout code ALLUSIONIST to get 10% off small batch coffee and subscription orders. • Squarespace, your one-stop shop for building and running your online forever home. Go to squarespace.com/allusionist for a free trial, and get 10 percent off your first purchase of a website or domain with the code allusionist. • Rosetta Stone, immersive and effective language learning. Allusionist listeners get 50% off lifetime membership - that's unlimited access to all 25 language courses, for life - at rosettastone.com/allusionist. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

  • Nov 23, 2025 · 38 min

    221. Scribe

    "I have never felt so naked. That's how exposed I felt at the idea that my handwriting was going to be seen by the world," says Tim Brookes, founder of the Endangered Alphabets Project and author of the new book about handwriting By Hand: Can the Art of Writing Be Saved? Writing the book (yes, by hand!) celebrates the act of handwriting, even overcoming the shame arising from his own. Visit theallusionist.org/scribe for more information about Tim's work and today's topics, plus a transcript of the episode. Support the show at theallusionist.org/donate and as well as keeping this independent podcast going, you also get to list your creative works in this year's Allusioverse Gift Guide, plus behind-the-scenes info about every episode; livestreams with me reading from my ever-growing collection of dictionaries; and the charming and nurturing Allusioverse Discord community, where among daily sharing of thoughts and amusements, we're watching The Princess Bride, the current season of Great Canadian Baking Show, and Game of Wool. This episode was produced by me, Helen Zaltzman, on the unceded ancestral and traditional territory of xʷməθkʷəy̓əm (Musqueam), Sḵwx̱wú7mesh (Squamish), and səlilwətaɬ (Tsleil-Waututh) Nations. Martin Austwick. Download his own songs at palebirdmusic.com and on Bandcamp, and listen to his podcasts Song By Song and Neutrino Watch. Find the Allusionist at youtube.com/allusionistshow, instagram.com/allusionistshow, facebook.com/allusionistshow, @allusionistshow.bsky.social… If I’m there, I’m there as @allusionistshow. Our ad partner is Multitude. If you want me to talk compellingly about your product, sponsor an episode: contact Multitude at multitude.productions/ads. This episode is sponsored by: • Greenwood Lake Roasters, purveyors of small batch craft coffee roasted just outside of NYC. Go to GreenwoodLakeRoasters.com to place your order - do it between now and December 31st and use the checkout code ALLUSIONIST to get 10% off small batch coffee and subscription orders. • Squarespace, your one-stop shop for building and running your online forever home. Go to squarespace.com/allusionist for a free trial, and get 10 percent off your first purchase of a website or domain with the code allusionist. • Home Chef, meal kits that fit your needs. For a limited time, Home Chef is offering Allusionist listeners fifty per cent off and free shipping on your first box, plus free dessert for life, at HomeChef.com/allusionist. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

  • Nov 9, 2025 · 40 min

    220. Disobedience

    “The more we look into social structures, the more many of us realize we don't fit into them," says So Mayer, author of the new book Bad Language, "So each phrase or set of vocabulary is another piece of that dismantlement.” We discuss finding vocabulary for oneself, coming out as a speech act, growing up under Section 28, busting through oppression and shame, and joyous listening. Content note: in the episode we refer to sexual abuse or crimes against consent, and to suicide, but we do not go into any detail about these things, or describe any experiences. Also there are some category A and B swears. Visit theallusionist.org/disobedience for more information about So's work and today's topics, plus a transcript of the episode. Support the show at theallusionist.org/donate and as well as keeping this independent podcast going, you also get behind-the-scenes info about every episode; livestreams with me reading from my ever-growing collection of dictionaries, and the charming and nurturing Allusioverse Discord community, where among daily sharing of thoughts and amusements, we're watching The Princess Bride, the current season of Great Canadian Baking Show, and Game of Wool. This episode was produced by me, Helen Zaltzman, on the unceded ancestral and traditional territory of xʷməθkʷəy̓əm (Musqueam), Sḵwx̱wú7mesh (Squamish), and səlilwətaɬ (Tsleil-Waututh) Nations. Martin Austwick. Download his own songs at palebirdmusic.com and on Bandcamp, and listen to his podcasts Song By Song and Neutrino Watch. Find the Allusionist at youtube.com/allusionistshow, instagram.com/allusionistshow, facebook.com/allusionistshow, @allusionistshow.bsky.social… If I’m there, I’m there as @allusionistshow. Our ad partner is Multitude. If you want me to talk compellingly about your product, sponsor an episode: contact Multitude at multitude.productions/ads. This episode is sponsored by: • Squarespace, your one-stop shop for building and running your online forever home. Go to squarespace.com/allusionist for a free trial, and get 10 percent off your first purchase of a website or domain with the code allusionist. • Home Chef, meal kits that fit your needs. For a limited time, Home Chef is offering Allusionist listeners fifty per cent off and free shipping on your first box, plus free dessert for life, at HomeChef.com/allusionist. • Rosetta Stone, immersive and effective language learning. Allusionist listeners get 50% off unlimited access to all 25 language courses, for life: go to rosettastone.com/allusionist. • Uncommon Goods, which sells thousands of one-of-a-kind gifts. To get 15% off your next purchase, go to UncommonGoods.com/allusionist. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

  • Oct 26, 2025 · 46 min

    219. Making Trouble

    A change of scene for one episode: recently the brilliant poet and performer Molly Naylor interviewed me for her podcast Making Trouble, about creativity, and she kindly let me run a version of that episode here for you. We're talking about ideas, but also long-term creative careers, mortality, podcasting, external validation, and Molly offers some great prompts for either sparking ideas or making a dinner conversation a bit more lively. Find her work at mollynaylor.com, and listen to Making Trouble in the very place you listen to podcasts. Content note: this episode contains category A and B swears. Visit theallusionist.org/trouble for more information plus a transcript of the episode. And hit the Contact tab to send me a request for an etymological explanation, or a word problem you're having, or observations sparked by previous Allusionists. Support the show at theallusionist.org/donate and as well as keeping this independent podcast going, you also get behind-the-scenes info about every episode; livestreams with me, Martin and my ever-growing collection of dictionaries, and the charming and nurturing Allusioverse Discord community, where we chat about language and not-language, and there are some plans for a Zoom Halloween get-together. Together we're also watching the current seasons of Great British Bake Off - donors also get a weekly work of flanfic about the show - and the Canadian version thereof; from 2 November we'll get into the knitting show Game of Wool; and on 8 November we'll be watching the gorgeous Mira Nair film Monsoon Wedding. Find the Allusionist at youtube.com/allusionistshow, instagram.com/allusionistshow, facebook.com/allusionistshow, @allusionistshow.bsky.social… If I’m there, I’m there as @allusionistshow. Our ad partner is Multitude. If you want me to talk compellingly about your product, sponsor an episode: contact Multitude at multitude.productions/ads. This episode is sponsored by: • The Language Lover’s Lexipedia, An A-Z of Linguistic Curiosities: the new book by alumsionist Joshua Blackburn, who makes the game League of the Lexicon. Both game and book are packed full of language facts and fascinating tidbits. Get them where you buy books and games, and check out leagueofthelexicon.co.uk • Squarespace, your one-stop shop for building and running your online forever home. Go to squarespace.com/allusionist for a free trial, and get 10 percent off your first purchase of a website or domain with the code allusionist. • Home Chef, meal kits that fit your needs. For a limited time, Home Chef is offering Allusionist listeners fifty per cent off and free shipping on your first box, plus free dessert for life, at HomeChef.com/allusionist. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

  • Oct 7, 2025 · 39 min

    218. Banned Books

    It's Banned Books Week. Honorary youth chair Iris Mogul and Sam Helmick, president of the American Library Association, talk about what it is, why it matters so much, and how you can get involved. Visit theallusionist.org/bannedbooks for more information and many links about today's topics, plus a transcript of the episode. Support the show at theallusionist.org/donate and as well as keeping this independent podcast going, you also get behind-the-scenes info about every episode; livestreams with me, Martin and my ever-growing collection of dictionaries, and the charming and nurturing Allusioverse Discord community, where we're watching the current season of Great British Bake Off - donors also get a weekly work of flanfic about the show. This episode was produced by me, Helen Zaltzman. Thanks to Thanks to Charisse Barnachea, and to Liv for the Judy Blume books circa 1989. Martin Austwick sings and composed the music. Download his own songs at palebirdmusic.com and on Bandcamp, and listen to his podcasts Song By Song and Neutrino Watch. Find the Allusionist at youtube.com/allusionistshow, instagram.com/allusionistshow, facebook.com/allusionistshow, @allusionistshow.bsky.social… If I’m there, I’m there as @allusionistshow. Our ad partner is Multitude. If you want me to talk compellingly about your product, sponsor an episode: contact Multitude at multitude.productions/ads. This episode is sponsored by: • Squarespace, your one-stop shop for building and running your online forever home. Go to squarespace.com/allusionist for a free trial, and get 10 percent off your first purchase of a website or domain with the code allusionist. • Home Chef, meal kits that fit your needs. For a limited time, Home Chef is offering Allusionist listeners fifty per cent off and free shipping on your first box, plus free dessert for life, at HomeChef.com/allusionist. • Rosetta Stone, immersive and effective language learning. Allusionist listeners get 50% off unlimited access to all 25 language courses, for life: go to rosettastone.com/allusionist. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

  • Sep 24, 2025 · 37 min

    217. Bread and Roses, and Coffee

    In their heyday of the 1970s and 1980s, there were more than 200 - possibly more than 400 - feminist restaurants and coffee shops in the USA and Canada. These places were aiming to change ways of working, and upend the hierarchies of restaurants; to provide food that was ethically sourced and affordable to customers, while providing staff with a decent wage; to signal to particular kinds of people that a space was specifically for them. They didn't always succeed, and often they didn't last for more than a couple of years. But they sure did try things. Dr Alex Ketchum, author of Ingredients for Revolution, a History of American Feminist Restaurants, Cafes, and Coffeehouses, explains the ups and downs of how these places used words. Visit theallusionist.org/breadroses for more information about today's topics, plus a transcript of the episode. Support the show at theallusionist.org/donate and as well as keeping this independent podcast going, you also get behind-the-scenes info about every episode; livestreams with me, Martin and my ever-growing collection of dictionaries, and the charming and nurturing Allusioverse Discord community, where we're watching the current season of Great British Bake Off, and donors are learning that apparently it is a surprisingly productive source of writing inspiration for me. This episode was produced by me, Helen Zaltzman, on the unceded ancestral and traditional territory of xʷməθkʷəy̓əm (Musqueam), Sḵwx̱wú7mesh (Squamish), and səlilwətaɬ (Tsleil-Waututh) Nations. The music is by Martin Austwick. Download his own songs at palebirdmusic.com and on Bandcamp, and listen to his podcasts Song By Song and Neutrino Watch. Find the Allusionist at youtube.com/allusionistshow, instagram.com/allusionistshow, facebook.com/allusionistshow, @allusionistshow.bsky.social… If I’m there, I’m there as @allusionistshow. Our ad partner is Multitude. If you want me to talk compellingly about your product, sponsor an episode: contact Multitude at multitude.productions/ads. This episode is sponsored by: • Squarespace, your one-stop shop for building and running your online forever home. Go to squarespace.com/allusionist for a free trial, and get 10 percent off your first purchase of a website or domain with the code allusionist. • Home Chef, meal kits that fit your needs. For a limited time, Home Chef is offering Allusionist listeners fifty per cent off and free shipping on your first box, plus free dessert for life, at HomeChef.com/allusionist. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

  • Sep 8, 2025 · 26 min

    216. Four Letter Words: Terisk

    Watching the film Legally Blonde one day with the subtitles on, numerous perfectly innocuous words were partially asterisked out, because of a technological problem I can't name here lest this episode be blocked from your podfeed, thus becoming an example of the problem itself. Who's to blame? A 900-year-old man from Lincolnshire. Although he didn't ask for this either. Content note: this episode contains SWEARS. Educational though! Visit theallusionist.org/terisk for more information about today's topics, plus a transcript of the episode. Support the show at theallusionist.org/donate and as well as keeping this independent podcast going, you also get behind-the-scenes info about every episode; livestreams with me, Martin and my ever-growing collection of dictionaries, and the charming and nurturing Allusioverse Discord community, where we're watching the current seasons of Great British Sewing Bee and Great British Bake Off, and our previous watchalong of Legally Blonde begat this episode. This episode was produced by me, Helen Zaltzman, on the unceded ancestral and traditional territory of xʷməθkʷəy̓əm (Musqueam), Sḵwx̱wú7mesh (Squamish), and səlilwətaɬ (Tsleil-Waututh) Nations. Martin Austwick sings and composed the music. Download his own songs at palebirdmusic.com and on Bandcamp, and listen to his podcasts Song By Song and Neutrino Watch. Find the Allusionist at youtube.com/allusionistshow, instagram.com/allusionistshow, facebook.com/allusionistshow, @allusionistshow.bsky.social… If I’m there, I’m there as @allusionistshow. Our ad partner is Multitude. If you want me to talk compellingly about your product, sponsor an episode: contact Multitude at multitude.productions/ads. This episode is sponsored by: • Squarespace, your one-stop shop for building and running your online forever home. Go to squarespace.com/allusionist for a free trial, and get 10 percent off your first purchase of a website or domain with the code allusionist. • Home Chef, meal kits that fit your needs. For a limited time, Home Chef is offering Allusionist listeners fifty per cent off and free shipping on your first box, plus free dessert for life, at HomeChef.com/allusionist. • Rosetta Stone, immersive and effective language learning. Allusionist listeners get 50% off unlimited access to all 25 language courses, for life: go to rosettastone.com/allusionist. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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