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That’s a Bernie

TJ Adamson

Every family has a Bernie. If yours doesn't... it's probably you.

Join brother and sister TJ & Kelly, along with Kelly's wife Kirsty, as they dive headfirst into the hilarious chaos of family life. From outrageous stories and questionable decisions to everyday moments that leave everyone saying, "That's a Bernie!" Expect plenty of laughs, playful bickering, listener stories, and brutally honest conversations that prove no family is ever as normal as they think they are.

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21 episodes
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Avg 50 min
English

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#20
Saturday · 55 min
Episode 20 – Would We Survive? (Absolutely Not!) ☢️😂
🎙️ Episode 20 – Would We Survive? (Absolutely Not!) ☢️😂 What would you do if the world ended tomorrow? Build a bunker? Run for the woods? Hide in Primark? Or just accept your fate and put the kettle on? 😂 This week on That's a Bernie!, we're putting our survival instincts to the test, and it's fair to say humanity probably shouldn't be relying on us! From nuclear war and zombie-apocalypse-style survival planning to being stranded on a desert island, hijacked planes and a world without electricity, we're tackling some of life's most ridiculous (and occasionally terrifying) hypothetical disasters. We've got plans to build bunkers in Steven's garden, disappear into the Portuguese wilderness, survive on coconuts and chickens, and somehow squeeze the entire family into one house for 30 days without someone committing murder. But the real questions are: Who's actually useful in a crisis? Who's getting voted out first? And how long would we last without Wi-Fi, online shopping or a functioning toilet? As usual, there are strong opinions, questionable logic, plenty of family arguments and absolutely no guarantee that any of us would make it out alive! 💬 We want to hear from you! Who would you want on your survival team? And which member of our family do you reckon would be the first to go? Don't forget to send us your Bernies, dilemmas and family dramas, and follow That's A Bernie Pod on Facebook and Instagram! 🎧 Grab a cuppa, stock up on pasta and join us for another episode of That's a Bernie! Because when the apocalypse comes, the biggest threat might actually be our own family! 😂
#21
Wednesday · 29 min
🎙️ Unsupervised: Broken Beds, Family Secrets & Bad Decisions! 😂
They gave us microphones. That was their first mistake. 🎤😂 Welcome to Unsupervised – The Kids Take Over!, the brand-new Wednesday bonus podcast from the chaotic family behind That's a Bernie! This week, Taylor and Phoebe are officially taking control, and it's safe to say the adults might live to regret this decision! From a friendship that started with a shove in the school lunch queue to broken beds, damaged televisions and camping trips where drinks were apparently more important than blankets, the girls are sharing the stories that probably should've stayed between them. They're spilling their first impressions of the family, reminiscing about questionable adventures, discussing their love of animals and revealing a few things that might get them into trouble when the adults listen back! Throw in theme park disasters, birthday plans, potential pet snakes and a healthy dose of completely unfiltered nonsense, and you've got the perfect introduction to our newest podcast duo. Will they stay on topic? Unlikely. Will they embarrass the family? Almost certainly. Will we ever trust them with microphones again? Well… they're back next Wednesday, so apparently yes! 😂 💬 Get involved! Send Taylor and Phoebe your questions, embarrassing stories, family dramas and suggestions for future episodes. Find us on Facebook and Instagram at That's A Bernie Pod. 🎧 Unsupervised – Every Wednesday! And don't forget your usual dose of That's a Bernie! every Saturday at 6pm. No adults. No filter. Absolutely no idea what they're doing! 😂🎤
#19
October 31 · 34 min
Episode 19 – When I Grow Up… (Still Waiting!) 😂
Remember when we were little and thought we had our whole lives figured out? Yeah… how's that working out for everyone? 😂 This week on That's a Bernie!, we're taking a trip down memory lane to discover what we all wanted to be when we grew up — and how spectacularly different reality turned out! From aspiring vets, footballers and paramedics to unexpected career changes, abandoned qualifications and a rather unfortunate encounter with an angry tanuki (yes, really!), nothing is quite as straightforward as we imagined. Along the way, we're talking dodgy exes, difficult decisions, regrets, the joys of getting older and what we'd tell our younger selves if we had the chance. Would we change anything? Have we actually grown up? And is it too late to sack off adulthood and become a millionaire who shops for a living? Expect plenty of laughs, a few surprisingly heartfelt moments and the usual family honesty that probably should've stayed off the microphones! 💬 We want to hear from you! What did you want to be when you grew up, and how different is your life now? Get in touch on our socials, and don't forget to send us your dilemmas and family dramas! 🎧 Grab a cuppa, get comfortable and join us for another episode of That's a Bernie! Because growing older is compulsory… growing up is apparently optional! 😂
#18
October 24 · 1 hr 13 min
Episode 18: Everyone’s Entitled to Our Opinion
⚠️ Listener discretion advised: strong opinions ahead. And we mean STRONG. Jayne with a Y is back, Bernie has once again joined the chaos, and Chris occasionally provides commentary from somewhere in the background — which means this slightly longer episode of That’s a Bernie goes exactly as calmly as you'd expect. We start innocently enough. Should chocolate go in the fridge? What about eggs? Fruit? Are Pokémon cards a legitimate investment or just expensive bits of cardboard? You know, the important issues facing society. And then things escalate. We get into family fallouts, wedding invitations, personal space, anxiety, autism and diagnostic labels, parenting, pronouns, identity and the increasingly complicated business of trying to communicate respectfully when people see the world very differently. There are strong and contrasting opinions throughout this episode, and we don't always agree with each other — or necessarily express ourselves perfectly. These are personal views, experiences and an open family conversation rather than expert commentary, and some listeners may disagree strongly with what is said. But that's rather the point. Somewhere amongst the arguments, tangents and oversharing, there's also a surprisingly thoughtful conversation about boundaries, accountability, emotional regulation, family expectations and learning when it's better to walk away than win the argument. Five people. Several controversial subjects. Approximately zero filters. Grab a brew, put your chocolate wherever you believe chocolate belongs, and join us. Expect chaos. Accept Bernies. Love each other.
#17
October 17 · 42 min
Episode 17 - Jayne With a Y: From Colleagues to Chaos
Jayne with a Y has entered the chat… and Bernie came along for the ride. This week, we’re joined by our best friend Jayne for her first episode of That’s a Bernie — and there was absolutely no chance this was going to be a quiet catch-up. We go right back to where it all started: working together at the Manor, first impressions, clashes, questionable management techniques, workplace dramas, and the moments that somehow turned a group of colleagues into something much more like family. There’s plenty of nostalgia as we remember the absolute chaos — and genuine magic — of the care home in its heyday, from donkeys and dementia care to the friendships that survived long after we all moved on. We also discover why you should never spell Jayne without a Y, why TJ calling her “Archer” remains one of life’s simplest pleasures, and just how fiercely loyal she is when somebody she loves needs her. Naturally, Bernie is there too, contributing exactly the level of Bernie-ness you’d expect. It’s funny, nostalgic, occasionally emotional and very, very us. Expect chaos. Accept Bernies. Love each other. 🎧 Have a story, dilemma or your own “That’s a Bernie” moment? Get in touch with us on Facebook or Instagram — we want to hear them! And remember: it’s Jayne. With a Y. Woe betide you if you forget. 😂
#16
October 10 · 47 min
Episode 16: Habits – The Good, The Bad & The Ugly
We all have habits. Some are good. Some are annoying. And some should probably remain private for the rest of our lives. Naturally, we're sharing all of them. This week, we're exposing the good, the bad and the downright ugly habits we live with every day – from the little routines we're secretly proud of to the disgusting things we definitely only do when nobody's watching. We're deciding which everyday habits are green flags, red flags or absolutely fucking feral, confessing the weird things we thought everybody did and discovering which irritating behaviours we've somehow inherited from our parents. Then things get personal. We're revealing the habits our partners can't stand, admitting what drives us mad about the people we live with and, because apparently family harmony means nothing to this podcast, calling out each other's most annoying habits too. There's also Habit Court, where everyone gets the chance to defend one of their questionable behaviours while the rest of us decide whether it's perfectly normal, mildly irritating, a massive red flag or grounds for immediate removal from society. Expect confessions, judgement, hypocrisy and at least one moment where somebody says: “Hang on… you do WHAT?!” Because everybody has bad habits. The difference is, most people are sensible enough not to record theirs and put them on the internet.
#15
October 3 · 50 min
Episode 15: How Did Any of Us Get an Education
Get your PE kit, find your homework diary and prepare for a detention, because this week we're going back to SCHOOL. We're revisiting the teachers we loved, the ones we absolutely couldn't stand and the ones who, looking back, probably shouldn't have been responsible for children in the first place. There are school dinners to remember (and some we'd rather forget), playground politics, ridiculous rules, PE trauma, embarrassing moments, detentions, questionable punishments and the various things we definitely weren't supposed to be doing. We also ask what we were actually like as pupils, whether our old school reports told the truth, what today's kids would make of the things that were completely normal when we were growing up – and whether any of us would survive a day back at school now. And, because apparently enough time has passed to make honesty seem like a good idea, there may also be a few school confessions that our parents are hearing for the very first time. So sharpen your pencil, cover your exercise book in leftover wallpaper and try to remember your PE kit. Class is in session – although judging by our stories, it's genuinely remarkable any of us learned anything at all.
#14
September 26 · 51 min
Episode 14: The Internet Made Me Do It
he internet has given us instant access to information, connected the entire world and completely transformed modern life. And we've used it to buy absolute shite. This week, we're talking Internet Fails – the dodgy purchases, ridiculous trends, questionable life hacks and viral nonsense that somehow convinced millions of perfectly sensible adults to lose all common sense. We're confessing the things the internet made us buy, from products that looked life-changing online to the crushing disappointment that actually arrived through the letterbox. We revisit some of the bizarre trends we've collectively participated in over the years, judge whether viral life hacks are GENIUS or complete BOLLOCKS, and remember the rumours, chain messages and Facebook warnings we somehow used to believe. There's also influencer culture, TikTok recommendations, online shopping disasters and the uncomfortable realisation that we're all much easier to influence than we'd like to admit. But it's not all bad. We also admit the bits of the internet we genuinely love and couldn't imagine living without. So clear your browser history, cancel that Temu order and step away from TikTok Shop. The internet made us do it – and frankly, we should have known better.
#13
September 19 · 51 min
Episode 13: We Can't Even Get Through the Intro
We'd love to tell you that this week's episode starts professionally. It doesn't. Before we've even properly begun, Bernie and Kirsty spend nearly two minutes completely corpsing, nobody can pull themselves together and any remaining pretence that this is a professionally produced podcast disappears entirely. Eventually, we manage to talk about dating. This week we're looking back at first dates, disastrous dates, online dating and the red flags we probably should have paid considerably more attention to. From Tinder and Plenty of Fish to awkward cinema trips, unwanted advances and dates that should have ended much sooner than they did, there are some questionable romantic decisions to unpack. TJ also opens the vault on a couple of his more memorable encounters – including a date involving a man dressed as a wizard and another where an unexpected hairpiece rather changed the mood. We ask what actually makes a good first date, whether you should eat in front of someone you've only just met, who should pay, how dating changes once you're married with children and whether a night on the sofa with a board game can legitimately count as date night. There's also dating safety, separate bank accounts, terrible matches, relationship finances and the important matter of keeping the spark alive when real life, children and budgets get in the way. Come for the dating disasters. Stay to find out whether Bernie and Kirsty ever actually stop laughing.
#12
September 12 · 1 hr 3 min
Episode 12: Wish You Weren’t Here
You spend months looking forward to a holiday… only to arrive and discover the food is dreadful, the drinks contain approximately three molecules of alcohol and apparently you're not even allowed to eat your snack where you want to. This week, we're talking holidays – the good, the bad and the ones that make you question why you bothered getting on the plane. TJ gives his verdict on a recent trip to Majorca, including disappointing all-inclusive food, questionable drinks, hotel rules, buying his own bloody kettle and an unfortunate encounter between his skin and the Spanish sunshine. We compare all-inclusive with self-catering, argue over what actually counts as an essential hotel-room luxury and discuss why Gran Canaria and Tenerife might have won our affections instead. There's also airport chaos, cancelled-flight panic, cruises, balcony cabins, family holidays from years gone by and the important question of whether going away with your children is actually a holiday at all. Naturally, we don't stay on topic. Somehow we also end up discussing zoos and animal sanctuaries, painful knees, pets, Netflix, horror films, true crime and the television programmes we're currently obsessed with. Basically: sun, sea, family, animals, questionable entertainment and quite a lot of complaining. Wish you were here? After listening to this, perhaps not.
#11
September 5 · 53 min
Episode 11: Little Luxuries & Petty Rage
What are the tiny things that make life feel absolutely glorious… and why can someone leaving an empty milk bottle in the fridge completely ruin your day? This week, we're celebrating life's little luxuries – fresh bedding after a shower, new pyjamas, Christmas Eve, a ridiculously long bath, good coffee, favourite snacks, alone time and all those small pleasures that make us disproportionately happy. But obviously, this is That's a Bernie, so the wholesome bit doesn't last long. We move swiftly onto the little things that absolutely boil our piss: shoes NEXT to the shoe rack, towels hung incorrectly, crumbs left on worktops, questionable toilet etiquette, people barging onto buses, drivers who can't manage a thank-you wave and family members who apparently believe putting things away is somebody else's responsibility. Then things get slightly more contentious as we ask: where does enjoying nice things end and being a massive snob begin? From fresh coffee and branded food to Ninja appliances, Mercedes, heated seats and judging frozen vegetables, some of us have considerably stronger opinions than others. Expect petty arguments, household grievances, questionable standards and the discovery that apparently happiness really is found in the little things. Unfortunately, so is rage.
#10
August 29 · 58 min
Episode 10: Rewind the VHS & Pass the Space Raiders
This week, we're heading back to childhood – when the internet screamed at you before it connected, VHS tapes needed rewinding, knocking on someone's door and running away counted as entertainment, and somehow we all survived without Wi-Fi. We reminisce about the sweets and snacks we desperately want bringing back, from forgotten chocolate bars to crisps that simply don't taste the same anymore – although Bernie's frankly alarming bedroom "munchy drawer" proves some people have taken their love of snacks considerably further than others. Then it's toys, TV and technology: Furbies, Micro Machines, Talkboys, Atari, Fun House, The Queen's Nose, dial-up internet and the excitement of finally getting more than three television channels. We also revisit the absolute nonsense our parents told us, the questionable games we played, school PE, communal showers, bullying, childhood mischief and the sort of things that would probably trigger a safeguarding meeting today. It's nostalgic, occasionally traumatic and increasingly chaotic. Basically, childhood was feral – and we wouldn't have had it any other way.
#9
August 22 · 52 min
Episode 9: Ghosted, Married & Moved In After a Week!
his week on That’s a Bernie, TJ’s husband Chris joins TJ, Kelly and Kirsty — and it’s time to find out what married life in the Adamson household is really like. TJ and Chris take us back to the beginning of their relationship: meeting on Facebook Dating, a little bit of ghosting, moving in together after just ONE WEEK, and eventually pulling off a secret wedding. Because apparently taking things slowly was never an option. 😂 Then it’s time to air the domestic dirty laundry. Shoes left lying around, cleaning habits, annoying eating noises, breathing too loudly (yes, apparently that's a crime) and all those tiny things your partner does that slowly drive you insane. TJ and Chris share their relationship grievances while Kelly and Kirsty weigh in on the realities of living with someone you love... but don't necessarily want to hear chewing. We also get into the considerably less funny reality of adult life — rising bills, expensive cars and the general horror of discovering how much electricity costs — before tackling DIY disasters, cupboard doors, fences and ambitious gazebo plans. And because no episode of That's a Bernie stays on topic for long, we somehow end up planning our own deaths. From being composted to scattering ashes and turning loved ones into jewellery, it's a surprisingly cheerful conversation about what we'd like to happen when we're gone — including the ongoing question of where Chris's mum should finally be laid to rest. Marriage, money, mortality and minor domestic grievances... just your average family conversation, really. Got a relationship confession, family drama, dilemma or your own Bernie? Send it to thatsaberniepod@gmail.com and follow us @thatsaberniepod. Expect chaos. Accept Bernies. Love each other. 💗
#8
August 15 · 47 min
Episode 8 | That's an Ick, Not a Bernie!
This week, TJ's youngest daughter Tia joins TJ, Kelly and Kirsty for another episode of family chaos—and apparently we've all got a lot of icks to get off our chests. We catch up on birthdays, including Tia's surprise new pet mouse and Kelly's birthday spending spree, before things quickly descend into a debate about everything that gives us the ick. From dirty nails and questionable footwear to pet names like "Daddy" and the absolute horror of spit strings on shared drinks... consider yourself warned. Things take a more personal turn as we chat about emotions, affection and grief—including losing our much-loved Frankie—before getting firmly back to the nonsense with our favourite comedians, the things that genuinely make us laugh and a game involving phrases that could apparently be said in both a funeral directors and the bedroom. 💀😂 Tia also reveals how she managed to lose her phone... only to eventually discover she'd put it in the fridge. Expect family stories, inappropriate conversations, questionable opinions and far more information than anyone asked for. Got a dilemma, an ick, a joke or a family story worthy of the pod? Send it to thatsaberniepod@gmail.com and follow us @thatsaberniepod. 🎙️ Now on YouTube, with TikTok coming soon. Expect chaos. Accept Bernies. Love each other. Every family has a Bernie. If yours doesn't... it's probably you.
#7
August 8 · 54 min
Episode 7 - Would You Rather We Hadn't Told You That?
Kelly couldn't make it this week, so naturally we replaced her with the next generation. Taylor and Declan are back, joining TJ and Kirsty for an episode packed with games, questionable revelations and the usual family chaos. We tackle the apparently controversial subject of Liverpool geography before putting each other to the test with Two Truths and a Lie and some increasingly ridiculous Would You Rather questions—with a slight detour into pagan symbols and religion along the way. Because obviously. Things get a little more personal when we reveal the songs we'd choose as our own theme tunes and the stories behind them, before heading firmly back into chaos with childhood confessions, embarrassing bath-time stories, irrational shower fears and some very candid revelations about what really happens when you've been in a relationship long enough to have absolutely no boundaries left. We finish with the things that drive us mad behind the wheel and invite you to send us your own family dramas and Bernie Dilemmas at thatsaberniepod@gmail.com. Expect games. Expect oversharing. Expect chaos. Accept Bernies. Every family has a Bernie. If yours doesn't... it's probably you.
#6
August 1 · 50 min
Episode 6 | The Football Prank That Broke Bernie
This week, our nephew Declan joins us—and somehow manages to drag his dad Steven onto the podcast without Steven actually being there. Steven claims he doesn't like talking and refuses to come on the pod... which is interesting for a man who always seems to have something to say. We talk about the brother who declined his right of reply, before getting into the elaborate prank Steven and Declan played on Bernie. The plan was simple: convince her that Steven was making Declan walk home from football practice because he'd played shit. Bernie did not take it well. We've got the WhatsApp evidence. We've got Bernie absolutely fuming. And we're conducting a full Bernie Blowout VAR Review to decide whether her reaction was justified—or whether Steven and Declan deserve everything that's coming to them. Expect family chaos, incriminating voice notes, stories about Steven and possibly the greatest Bernie Blowout we've had yet.
#5
July 25 · 52 min
Episode 5 | Pets, Pretension & Mrs Bucket
This week, TJ's daughter Taylor joins the family—and she's brought evidence. We delve into the family's slightly unhealthy obsession with their pets, ask the important question of who Taylor would save first in a house fire (her dad or the animals?), and discover just how far we'll go for our four-legged family members. Then it's time for an intervention. According to Bernie, TJ has slowly transformed into Hyacinth Bucket—and Taylor and Kelly are ready to prove it. From expensive tastes and airport lounges to questionable standards and outright snobbery, we ask once and for all: is TJ actually a snob, or does he just have standards? Expect family revelations, pet obsession, a little parental humiliation and, of course, another Certified Bernie. Every family has a Bernie. If yours doesn't... it's probably you.
#4
July 19 · 46 min
Episode 4 | Dentures, Disasters & a €60 Fart
Bernie is back—and this episode goes exactly as well as you'd expect. We settle the important questions in life: are bigger swimming pools actually better, what's going on with TikTok, and why has TJ apparently declared war on Specsavers? Things take a more personal turn as TJ talks therapy, anxiety and the complicated reality of empathy, before the family introduces Mark—a serial prankster responsible for swapped labels, upside-down pictures and years of low-level psychological warfare. Then the wheels come off completely.
#3
July 12 · 56 min
Episode 3 | Meet Bernie: The Woman, The Myth, The Blowouts
The wait is over. This week, we finally meet Bernie—the woman who inspired an entire podcast. TJ, Kelly and Kirsty are joined by Bernie herself to find out what she really thinks about having a podcast named after her, revisit some classic Bernies and give her the chance to explain the logic behind the things she says. We put Bernie in the hot seat, dig into family stories, settle a few scores and discover that giving Bernie a microphone may have been our best—or worst—idea yet. Expect questionable logic, family chaos, plenty of laughs and, naturally, a Bernie Blowout or two. Every family has a Bernie. If yours doesn't... it's probably you.
#2
July 5 · 39 min
Episode 2 | Can You Hear Us Now?
We may have forgotten to switch the proper microphones on... but the laughs were too good to leave on the cutting room floor. In this episode we debate swearing, dish out some completely unsolicited life advice, and Kirsty accidentally reveals she overheard far more of TJ's private life than anyone ever needed to know... The sound quality might be a little rough around the edges, but we promise it's worth sticking with. Sometimes the biggest Bernie happens before you even hit record.

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