Stethoscopes and Strollers

137. You Worked Hard for This. You’re Still Allowed to Let It Go

Hey Doc, “You worked so hard for this.” I still hear some version of that when people find out I stepped away from clinical medicine. And yes. I did. I worked hard to become an OB/GYN. I fought to become the surgeon I wanted to be. I sought out mentorship, built my skills, became someone other physicians could learn from, and eventually got exactly what I had been working toward. And then my life changed. My priorities changed. I changed. In this episode, I’m sharing part of a conversation I had with surgeon and coach Dr. Amy Vertrees on The Business of Surgery podcast. While I was telling her about my transition away from surgery, she said something that stopped me: “Everything I did in the past is going to hold me hostage for the future.” Whew. Because that is exactly what so many of us do. We look at the years of training. The sacrifices. The skill we worked ridiculously hard to develop. The salary. The expectations attached to being a physician. And instead of allowing all of that to be part of our story, we turn it into evidence that we have to keep living the same story. For me, there were even more layers. Was I betraying the version of myself who fought so hard to become an excellent surgeon? Was I reinforcing stereotypes about women stepping back after having children? Was I letting down the patients who specifically wanted a Black physician caring for them? Those weren’t small questions. I had to work through every damn one of them. Eventually, I realized that being excellent at something does not obligate me to do it forever. And neither does being well compensated. Because golden handcuffs are still handcuffs. Platinum ones too. 😂 In this episode, we talk about the identity crisis that can come with changing your career, why leaving something good can sometimes be harder than leaving something obviously toxic, and how I stopped making decisions based on who I used to be and started paying attention to the life I actually wanted now. Your past self does not get to dictate the rest of your life. She might actually look at you and say, “Damn, girl. Good for you.” Listen to the episode and decide what you’re ready to stop letting your past decide for you. What did you think of the episode, doc? Let me know! Subscribe to ✨Stethoscopes and Strollers✨ on your favorite podcast platform so you never miss an episode. Apple Podcast | Spotify | YouTube Connect with me: Website | Instagram | Facebook Join my Email list to get tips on navigating motherhood in the medical field. If you are going through a transition -- becoming a parent, leaving a job, figuring out how manage it all, schedule a strategy coaching session and get clarity and strategic next steps for the life and career you want. Strategy Coaching Session with Dr. Toya

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136. Doc, You Can Stop Breastfeeding

Hey Doc, You can stop breastfeeding. You can stop pumping. You can know all of the benefits, have enough milk, have a baby who breastfeeds well, and still decide: I don’t want to do this anymore. I know that can be an especially complicated decision when you’re a physician. We know the evidence. We know the recommendations. We know exactly what we’re “supposed” to do. And when you’re already spending hours away from your baby because of work, breastfeeding can become the thing. At least I can do this for her. That was part of my experience with my daughter. I was making enough milk, but barely. If I didn’t drink enough water, missed a meal, or skipped a pumping session, my supply would drop and I’d spend the next few days trying to catch up. Everything revolved around producing enough milk. I made it eight months. I wanted to make it a year. And eventually I had to admit that breastfeeding was taking a significant toll on my mental health. So I stopped. And the relief was almost immediate. In this episode, I’m sharing part of an older conversation from the Mom & Mind podcast because I know there is a physician mom somewhere who needs permission to make the decision that is right for her, her baby, and her family. We talk about: How breastfeeding prolonged my postpartum anxiety Why pumping felt like its own special form of torture 😂 The additional pressure physician moms can put on themselves because we know the benefits of breastfeeding Why breastfeeding and mental health deserve a much more nuanced conversation The guilt that can come with stopping even when you know it’s the right decision Why unsolicited advice to “just keep going” can make a struggling mom feel even worse How to support another mom without immediately trying to fix her problem Because sometimes she doesn’t need another suggestion for increasing her supply. She doesn’t need another supplement, pumping schedule, lactation consultant, or “Have you tried…?” She might need you to listen. She might need you to tell her she’s not a bad mom. She might need someone to say, “It’s okay to stop.” And if you don’t know what she needs, there is a very simple way to find out: Ask her. “What do you need from me right now?” That question goes far beyond breastfeeding. I use it in my marriage. I use it with my clients. And it can completely change the way we support the people we love. So if breastfeeding is working beautifully for you, wonderful. If you love it, wonderful. And if breastfeeding is making you miserable and you desperately want someone to tell you that you’re allowed to stop: Doc, you can stop. You don’t have to suffer to prove that you’re a good mother. Listen to the episode, and please send this one to the physician mom who needs to hear it. What did you think of the episode, doc? Let me know! Subscribe to ✨Stethoscopes and Strollers✨ on your favorite podcast platform so you never miss an episode. Apple Podcast | Spotify | YouTube Connect with me: Website | Instagram | Facebook Join my Email list to get tips on navigating motherhood in the medical field. If you are going through a transition -- becoming a parent, leaving a job, figuring out how manage it all, schedule a strategy coaching session and get clarity and strategic next steps for the life and career you want. Strategy Coaching Session with Dr. Toya

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135. The One Thing I Don’t Want You to Outsource: Your Money

Hey Doc I love outsourcing. Cleaning. Childcare. Grocery delivery. The random tasks that somehow require 47 emails and a phone call during business hours. Please. Take them. But there is one thing I do not want you to completely outsource: Knowing what is happening with your money. In this episode, I’m sharing a conversation I had with Dr. Felecia Froe on the Money with Mission podcast about my own money story. I grew up in Trinidad and Tobago watching my parents work hard, build businesses, and use their money generously. But nobody sat me down and taught me about investing, taxes, wealth building, or financial independence. Then I became a physician. And shockingly, between learning the Krebs cycle and trying to keep actual humans alive, nobody taught me much about money there either. I eventually started educating myself. I learned about investing. I stopped assuming my financial advisor was performing some kind of financial wizardry. 😂 And I started understanding something that became incredibly important later in my career: Knowing my financial situation gave me choices. When I was burned out and miserable in medicine, money mattered. When I decided not to buy into partnership and walked away from a well-paying job without another job lined up, money mattered. When I invested $10,000 in my first coaching program and started seeing possibilities for myself outside of traditional medicine, money mattered. Not because money magically fixes your life. Because understanding your money gives you information. And information gives you options. In this episode, we talk about: What I learned about money growing up in Trinidad and Tobago Why I eventually stopped using a financial advisor and started educating myself How my husband and I talk about money together Why we’re intentionally teaching our children about money early The connection between financial knowledge and my decision to leave a job that was burning me out Why investing $10,000 in coaching felt enormous at the time and what I got from that investment The importance of understanding your value as a physician Why I believe every woman should know what is happening with her own money, even when someone else manages the day-to-day finances You do not need to become an investing expert tomorrow. Start with the basics. Know where your money is. Know how much you have. Know what debt you have. And please, Doc, know whether your taxes are being filed. Your husband may be wonderful. Mine is. I chose well. 😂 I still know what is happening with our money. Listen to the episode, then go check your accounts. What did you think of the episode, doc? Let me know! Subscribe to ✨Stethoscopes and Strollers✨ on your favorite podcast platform so you never miss an episode. Apple Podcast | Spotify | YouTube Connect with me: Website | Instagram | Facebook Join my Email list to get tips on navigating motherhood in the medical field. If you are going through a transition -- becoming a parent, leaving a job, figuring out how manage it all, schedule a strategy coaching session and get clarity and strategic next steps for the life and career you want. Strategy Coaching Session with Dr. Toya

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134. Please Take Care of Yourself, Doc

Hey Doc, This episode is a plea. Please take care of yourself. There has been a lot of loss in the physician community lately, and it has made me take a harder look at the care I’m giving myself too. Because I can preach about putting yourself first all day long, but meanwhile my Peloton has basically become furniture and my eating habits have been…questionable. 😂 And it reminded me that taking care of ourselves isn’t one thing. You can exercise regularly and be struggling mentally. You can eat well and be completely unsupported at home. You can go to therapy and still be working in a job that is slowly destroying you. You can look incredibly functional from the outside while barely keeping your head above water. Physicians are particularly good at that last one. We are trained to keep going. Sometimes we’re outright praised for ignoring what our bodies and minds are telling us because patients need us, there’s nobody to cover the shift, and somebody has to get the work done. Then many of us become mothers and bring that same conditioning home. In this episode, I’m sharing part of a previous conversation from the Mom & Mind podcast about physician burnout, anxiety, sleep deprivation, motherhood, and why asking for help is one of the most important skills we can develop. We talk about: Why some of the qualities that make us excellent physicians can make anxiety harder to recognize The medical culture that teaches us to push through even when we’re physically or mentally unwell Why sleep and support matter so much during the postpartum years The belief that we should be able to handle everything ourselves Why asking for help isn’t limited to hiring someone. Family, friends, neighbors, therapy, coaching, and community all count What it means when your current life simply does not allow you to adequately care for yourself You deserve help. You deserve rest. You deserve care and support. And if taking care of yourself feels impossible within the life you’re currently living, I want you to seriously consider what needs to change. Because life is too short, Doc. Listen to the episode. And then check in with yourself, for real. What did you think of the episode, doc? Let me know! Subscribe to ✨Stethoscopes and Strollers✨ on your favorite podcast platform so you never miss an episode. Apple Podcast | Spotify | YouTube Connect with me: Website | Instagram | Facebook Join my Email list to get tips on navigating motherhood in the medical field. If you are going through a transition -- becoming a parent, leaving a job, figuring out how manage it all, schedule a strategy coaching session and get clarity and strategic next steps for the life and career you want. Strategy Coaching Session with Dr. Toya

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133. These Children Will Have You Thinking You're a Bad Mother

Hey Doc, These children will really have you questioning your entire motherhood résumé. This summer, I left my kids in Trinidad with their grandparents while my husband and I stayed home to work on our businesses. And before you come for me, please understand the setup: camp, personal transportation, loving grandparents, extra help, someone cooking for them, and my mother making my son fry bake on request. This child was living GOOD. And yet, my son was crying, telling me he hated camp and wanted to come home. It was hard to hear, even when I had photographic evidence that he was perfectly happy when he wasn’t on the phone with me. Then, a few weeks later, I told him we were coming to get them. His response? He didn’t want to come home. Sir. In this episode of Stethoscopes and Strollers, I’m talking about what happens when your child’s very real feelings start making you question whether you’ve made a terrible parenting decision. Because your child can be sad. They can miss you. They can cry. They can even be absolutely furious about a decision you made. And none of those things automatically mean you made the wrong decision. Sometimes being their mother means trusting what you know, allowing them to have their feelings, and resisting the urge to immediately fix their discomfort just so you can stop feeling guilty. I’m sharing what this experience taught me about motherhood, guilt, and sticking with a decision even when your child is giving an Oscar-worthy performance suggesting you have personally ruined their life. Spoiler: mine went from crying himself to sleep to asking when he could come back to Trinidad. There’s hope for you, Doc. 😂 🎧 Listen to the full episode of Stethoscopes and Strollers. What did you think of the episode, doc? Let me know! Subscribe to ✨Stethoscopes and Strollers✨ on your favorite podcast platform so you never miss an episode. Apple Podcast | Spotify | YouTube Connect with me: Website | Instagram | Facebook Join my Email list to get tips on navigating motherhood in the medical field. If you are going through a transition -- becoming a parent, leaving a job, figuring out how manage it all, schedule a strategy coaching session and get clarity and strategic next steps for the life and career you want. Strategy Coaching Session with Dr. Toya

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132. Travel and The Lies We Tell

Hey, Doc I'm sharing part of an interview I did on my friend Dr. Weili Gray's podcast, *The Dare to Dream Physician Travel Podcast*. At the time, she had just pivoted her show to focus on travel, and listening back now feels like opening a time capsule. We talk about my journey from Trinidad to Howard University, residency, burnout, entrepreneurship, and coaching. But we also talk about one of my greatest passions: travel. From solo trips through South Africa... to scuba diving on the Great Barrier Reef... to standing inside the slave castles in Ghana while pregnant with my son... this conversation reminded me how much travel has shaped who I am. But the most surprising moment came near the end. I casually said, "I haven't really traveled that much." Then I started listing the places I'd been. Twenty-two countries. Five countries in Africa. Australia. Greece. Turkey. The Seychelles. Botswana. Ghana. I realized, in real time, that my brain had been telling me a story that simply wasn't true. That's what this episode is really about. The stories we believe about ourselves. In this episode, we talk about: - Why I started traveling alone during residency - My love affair with the African continent - The emotional experience of visiting Ghana and the slave castles - How scuba diving became one of my favorite adventures - Why I don't wait for other people before living my life - The surprising lie I realized I'd been telling myself - Why coaching and community help us see ourselves more clearly One of the biggest reasons we stay stuck is because we believe our own thoughts without questioning them. Sometimes all it takes is saying them out loud for someone else to hold up a mirror and say, "Wait a minute... that's not actually true." That's the power of community. That's the power of coaching. And sometimes, that's the power of a podcast conversation. 🎧 Listen in, get to know me a little better, and maybe you'll catch one of the stories you've been telling yourself, too. What did you think of the episode, doc? Let me know! Subscribe to ✨Stethoscopes and Strollers✨ on your favorite podcast platform so you never miss an episode. Apple Podcast | Spotify | YouTube Connect with me: Website | Instagram | Facebook Join my Email list to get tips on navigating motherhood in the medical field. If you are going through a transition -- becoming a parent, leaving a job, figuring out how manage it all, schedule a strategy coaching session and get clarity and strategic next steps for the life and career you want. Strategy Coaching Session with Dr. Toya

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131. Use Your Physician Privilege

Hey Doc You worked incredibly hard to become a physician. Four years of undergrad. Four years of medical school. Years of residency and fellowship. Endless sacrifices. So why are you acting like you're not allowed to benefit from it? In this episode, I'm giving you full permission to use one of the few privileges you truly earned: your physician network. I've used it to get second opinions when my family needed them. I've gotten my nephew seen by a pediatric subspecialist on short notice. I've leaned on physician communities when my mom had a serious burn. Every single time, someone stepped up because I asked. And that's the part many of us forget. People actually want to help. Somewhere along the way, many physician moms start believing they're bothering people if they reach out, ask a question, or call in a favor. We spend our careers taking care of everyone else but hesitate to let anyone take care of us. I'm here to remind you that this isn't taking advantage of anyone. This is one of the few privileges you worked your entire adult life to earn. Use it. In this episode, we talk about: Why physician moms often hesitate to ask for help Real examples of how I've used my physician network for my family The surprising truth: helping others feels good Why asking for help is a gift to the person who's able to give it How to stop feeling guilty about using the connections you've earned You don't have to wait months for an appointment if someone is willing to help. You don't have to feel guilty texting a specialist friend. You don't have to do this alone. Use your privilege, Doc. You've earned it. 🎧 Listen now, and if this episode reminds you of another physician who needs permission to ask for help, send it to her. She deserves to use the network she worked so hard to build, too. What did you think of the episode, doc? Let me know! Subscribe to ✨Stethoscopes and Strollers✨ on your favorite podcast platform so you never miss an episode. Apple Podcast | Spotify | YouTube Connect with me: Website | Instagram | Facebook Join my Email list to get tips on navigating motherhood in the medical field. If you are going through a transition -- becoming a parent, leaving a job, figuring out how manage it all, schedule a strategy coaching session and get clarity and strategic next steps for the life and career you want. Strategy Coaching Session with Dr. Toya

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130. The Good Mom Myth Is Burning Out Physician Moms

Hey Doc, I’m back with another episode where I was dropping gems on another podcast. I joined Dr. Diane Shannon on Vital Signs: Thriving as a Woman in Medicine to talk about something I think sits at the heart of so much burnout for physician moms: the definition of a "good mom." Most of us inherited that definition without ever questioning it. Be there for everything. Do it yourself. Put everyone else's needs ahead of your own. Sacrifice without complaint. The problem? That model was never built for women practicing medicine. Medicine still rewards self-sacrifice. Motherhood often expects it. Put those two together, and it's no surprise so many physician moms feel like they're failing at both, even when they're doing an extraordinary job. In this conversation, we unpack where these expectations come from, why physician moms experience them so intensely, and how creating your own definition of motherhood isn't selfish. It's necessary. We also talk about the practical changes that can help you protect your wellbeing without sacrificing the career or family you've worked so hard to build. In this episode, we discuss: Why the traditional idea of the "good mom" sets physician moms up for burnout How medicine's culture of martyrdom amplifies guilt at home and at work The hidden costs of trying to do everything yourself Why redefining motherhood is one of the most important mindset shifts you can make Practical ways to prioritize yourself without feeling guilty If you've ever felt like you're constantly falling short, despite giving everything you have, I hope this conversation reminds you that the problem isn't you. It might just be the definition you've been trying to live up to. 🎧 Press play and let's redefine what being a good mom really means. What did you think of the episode, doc? Let me know! Subscribe to ✨Stethoscopes and Strollers✨ on your favorite podcast platform so you never miss an episode. Apple Podcast | Spotify | YouTube Connect with me: Website | Instagram | Facebook Join my Email list to get tips on navigating motherhood in the medical field. If you are going through a transition -- becoming a parent, leaving a job, figuring out how manage it all, schedule a strategy coaching session and get clarity and strategic next steps for the life and career you want. Strategy Coaching Session with Dr. Toya

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129. NO Is Just the Beginning: A Physician's Guide to Asking

One conversation can change your career. But first, you have to be willing to ask. In this episode, I'm joined by my friend Dr. Kristine Goins on The Physician's Guide to Doctoring to talk about one of my favorite topics: asking. Whether you're negotiating your contract, requesting a different schedule, asking for support at home, or advocating for yourself in medicine, the biggest obstacle usually isn't strategy. It's believing you're allowed to ask in the first place. We talk about why physicians are conditioned to avoid asking, how to move through the fear of hearing "no," and why connecting to what you actually want changes every negotiation. In this episode, we discuss: Why asking is a skill every physician needs How medical culture teaches us to silence our own needs Reframing "no" as information instead of rejection The role of curiosity in successful negotiation Why your deepest desire matters more than negotiation scripts How to know if you're asking for enough A real example of negotiating a locums incentive by honoring your own value A quick heads-up: Parts of this recording were unfortunately corrupted, and AI replaced portions of my voice during the editing process. It sounds a little strange in a few spots, but the conversation was too valuable not to share. Thanks for sticking with it. If this episode makes you realize you've been settling for less than you need, I hope it reminds you that asking isn't selfish. It's a skill. And it's one worth practicing. What did you think of the episode, doc? Let me know! Subscribe to ✨Stethoscopes and Strollers✨ on your favorite podcast platform so you never miss an episode. Apple Podcast | Spotify | YouTube Connect with me: Website | Instagram | Facebook Join my Email list to get tips on navigating motherhood in the medical field. If you are going through a transition -- becoming a parent, leaving a job, figuring out how manage it all, schedule a strategy coaching session and get clarity and strategic next steps for the life and career you want. Strategy Coaching Session with Dr. Toya

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128. Why I Left Clinical Medicine to Coach Physician Moms

Hey Doc— One of the questions I've been asked the most over the past few months is, "Why did you leave medicine?" The short answer is: I didn't leave medicine to do something else. I left clinical practice because I found another way to serve physician moms. In this episode, I share the story behind that decision, why coaching became my second calling, and why stepping away from practicing as an OB/GYN wasn't about walking away from patients. It was about expanding the impact I could have by helping physician moms build lives they actually enjoy living. When a physician mom finds her voice, strengthens her marriage, leads with confidence, creates support at home, and rediscovers herself, the ripple effect reaches her family, her colleagues, and every patient she cares for. That's why this work matters so much to me. In this episode, we discuss: The real reason I stepped away from clinical medicine Why coaching physician moms became my life's work How supporting one physician mom creates a ripple effect far beyond one family Why I believe this work is an extension of medicine, not a departure from it What it means to find a second calling without letting go of the first Looking back, I don't think I had two separate careers. I've always been committed to helping women thrive. The way I do that has changed, but the mission hasn't. 🎧 Listen now, and if you've ever wondered what happens when your purpose evolves, I hope this episode gives you a glimpse into mine. What did you think of the episode, doc? Let me know! Subscribe to ✨Stethoscopes and Strollers✨ on your favorite podcast platform so you never miss an episode. Apple Podcast | Spotify | YouTube Connect with me: Website | Instagram | Facebook Join my Email list to get tips on navigating motherhood in the medical field. If you are going through a transition -- becoming a parent, leaving a job, figuring out how manage it all, schedule a strategy coaching session and get clarity and strategic next steps for the life and career you want. Strategy Coaching Session with Dr. Toya

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127. Part 2: How Physician Moms Can Thrive Without Self-Sacrifice

Hey Doc— Welcome back to Part 2 of this conversation. In Part 1, we talked about why so many physician moms end up exhausted, overwhelmed, and questioning whether this is simply what motherhood and medicine are supposed to feel like. In this episode, we shift to what comes next. We talk about the beliefs many of us carry into motherhood without ever examining them, why trying to do everything yourself often leads to resentment, and the practical shifts that allow physician moms to thrive without complete self-sacrifice. From building a village to strengthening your marriage to putting yourself back on your own priority list, this conversation is about creating a version of motherhood that supports your life instead of consuming it. In this episode, we discuss: Why you need to define motherhood based on your own values The myth that good mothers should do everything themselves How building a village creates stronger families, not weaker mothers Why investing in your marriage benefits everyone in your home How prioritizing yourself makes you a better physician, partner, and mother Medicine teaches us to put everyone else first. Motherhood often reinforces the same message. It's no surprise so many physician moms feel like they're disappearing in the process. My hope is that this conversation helps you think differently about what thriving can look like—and reminds you that you get to build a life that fits you. 🎧 Listen now, and if this episode made you think of another physician mom, send it her way. What did you think of the episode, doc? Let me know! Subscribe to ✨Stethoscopes and Strollers✨ on your favorite podcast platform so you never miss an episode. Apple Podcast | Spotify | YouTube Connect with me: Website | Instagram | Facebook Join my Email list to get tips on navigating motherhood in the medical field. If you are going through a transition -- becoming a parent, leaving a job, figuring out how manage it all, schedule a strategy coaching session and get clarity and strategic next steps for the life and career you want. Strategy Coaching Session with Dr. Toya

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126. Part 1: How Physician Moms Can Thrive Without Self-Sacrifice

Hey Doc— This summer I'm re-releasing some of my favorite conversations from podcasts where I was the guest because the topics are just as relevant today as they were when we recorded them. In this first part of my conversation on the Girl Doc Survival Guide podcast, we talk about why so many physician moms find themselves exhausted, questioning everything, and wondering why success doesn't feel the way they thought it would. I share parts of my own journey, but this conversation is really about something much bigger: the culture of medicine, the expectations placed on mothers, and why so many of us have been taught that self-sacrifice is simply part of the job. If you've ever felt like you're doing everything "right" but still wondering why it feels so hard, I think you'll see yourself in this conversation. In this episode, we discuss: Why physician moms are especially vulnerable to burnout and overwhelm How motherhood can completely change your relationship with medicine Why I left employed OB/GYN practice and what that decision taught me The mindset shifts that helped me stop accepting self-sacrifice as the cost of success Why building a life that fits you matters more than living up to everyone else's expectations This is an honest conversation about what happens when you start questioning the rules you've been taught and begin creating a version of medicine and motherhood that actually works for you. 🎧 Listen now, and then join me for Part 2, where we get practical about the tools and strategies that help physician moms thrive without complete self-sacrifice. What did you think of the episode, doc? Let me know! Subscribe to ✨Stethoscopes and Strollers✨ on your favorite podcast platform so you never miss an episode. Apple Podcast | Spotify | YouTube Connect with me: Website | Instagram | Facebook Join my Email list to get tips on navigating motherhood in the medical field. If you are going through a transition -- becoming a parent, leaving a job, figuring out how manage it all, schedule a strategy coaching session and get clarity and strategic next steps for the life and career you want. Strategy Coaching Session with Dr. Toya

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125. The One-Minute Reset I Use During the Worst Days

Hey Doc, This episode is a little different. First, a content warning. I talk about miscarriage and describe one of the most difficult calls I've had as an OB/GYN, so if that's not something you want to hear today, I completely understand. I also share one of my favorite tools for getting through stressful moments. It's a technique I've used for years with anxious patients during pelvic exams and on labor and delivery, but it wasn't until that call that I realized how much I needed it myself. If you're skeptical of anything remotely "woo-woo," this episode isn’t for you 😂 I hope you give it a try the next time life, medicine, or motherhood feels like a little too much. In this episode I discuss: Why the goal isn't always to eliminate stress The difficult call that reminded me to use my own tools A simple visualization I use during overwhelming moments How this technique can help both inside and outside the hospital 🎧 I hope you enjoy the episode. What did you think of the episode, doc? Let me know! Subscribe to ✨Stethoscopes and Strollers✨ on your favorite podcast platform so you never miss an episode. Apple Podcast | Spotify | YouTube Connect with me: Website | Instagram | Facebook Join my Email list to get tips on navigating motherhood in the medical field. If you are going through a transition -- becoming a parent, leaving a job, figuring out how manage it all, schedule a strategy coaching session and get clarity and strategic next steps for the life and career you want. Strategy Coaching Session with Dr. Toya

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124. When He Changes After the Baby: Understanding Paternal Postpartum Depression

Hey Doc, Father's Day has me thinking about something we don't talk about nearly enough. Men can experience postpartum depression too. In this episode, I'm diving into paternal postpartum depression, why it often goes unrecognized, and how it can show up in ways that look very different from what we typically expect. Because when a husband suddenly becomes withdrawn, irritable, distant, or seems completely disconnected after a baby arrives, the internet is usually quick to label him as lazy, selfish, or worse. Sometimes that's true. Sometimes it's not. As an OB/GYN and perinatal mental health specialist, I was surprised when I first learned that about 10% of new fathers experience postpartum depression, and that number jumps dramatically when their partner is struggling too. This conversation isn't about excusing harmful behavior. It's about understanding the difference between a struggling partner and a bad one. It's about making room for nuance. And it's about protecting something I care deeply about: your marriage. In This Episode: What paternal postpartum depression actually looks like Why men's symptoms often show up differently than women's The hormonal changes fathers experience during pregnancy and postpartum How social conditioning affects men's mental health The danger of labeling every struggling husband as "trash" Why understanding creates opportunities for healing My philosophy: Self first. Marriage second. Kids third. This is a conversation about compassion, awareness, and giving families the tools to thrive together. 🎧 Listen now wherever you get your podcasts. What did you think of the episode, doc? Let me know! Subscribe to ✨Stethoscopes and Strollers✨ on your favorite podcast platform so you never miss an episode. Apple Podcast | Spotify | YouTube Connect with me: Website | Instagram | Facebook Join my Email list to get tips on navigating motherhood in the medical field. If you are going through a transition -- becoming a parent, leaving a job, figuring out how manage it all, schedule a strategy coaching session and get clarity and strategic next steps for the life and career you want. Strategy Coaching Session with Dr. Toya

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123. Blackie, Whitey, and Beautiful Brown Skin: Raising Free Black Children in a World Obsessed with Socialization

Hey Doc, As Juneteenth approaches, I've been thinking a lot about freedom. Not the big, abstract kind we usually talk about. The everyday kind. The freedom to be a child. The freedom to love your beautiful brown skin without anyone planting doubt in your mind. The freedom to be curious, imaginative, and just a little bit weird. In this episode, I'm sharing some of the moments that make me grateful for the life my husband and I have intentionally created for our children. From my daughter proudly celebrating her beautiful brown skin to my son's innocent toy names that accidentally sparked a conversation about race, this episode is really about what happens when children are given space to simply be themselves. I also talk about homeschooling, socialization, and why I've never been convinced by the argument that children need more exposure to the world when so much of what adults struggle with comes directly from the messages we've absorbed from it. This isn't a debate about homeschooling. It's a celebration of freedom. And as we honor Juneteenth, that feels especially important. In This Episode: Why I proudly call my children "little weirdos" The difference between confidence and conditioning The first racist experiences my son had as a preschooler What my daughter taught me about beautiful brown skin Why the socialization argument doesn't move me The surprising lesson behind toys named Blackie and Whitey What freedom looks like inside our home This episode is a love letter to Black childhood, intentional parenting, and creating environments where our children can thrive before the world tells them who they should be. 🎧 Listen now wherever you get your podcasts. What did you think of the episode, doc? Let me know! Subscribe to ✨Stethoscopes and Strollers✨ on your favorite podcast platform so you never miss an episode. Apple Podcast | Spotify | YouTube Connect with me: Website | Instagram | Facebook Join my Email list to get tips on navigating motherhood in the medical field. If you are going through a transition -- becoming a parent, leaving a job, figuring out how manage it all, schedule a strategy coaching session and get clarity and strategic next steps for the life and career you want. Strategy Coaching Session with Dr. Toya

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122. How I Find Great Au Pairs When the Apps Look Empty

Hey Doc— If you're looking for an au pair right now and wondering whether all the good candidates have disappeared into thin air, you're not imagining it. I've had several physician moms ask me how I find au pairs when the agency websites seem completely picked over. And since I'm currently searching for a new au pair myself, the timing felt perfect to pull back the curtain on exactly how I do it. This is not a conversation about choosing an agency or comparing program fees. This is about creating a process that keeps you organized, efficient, and significantly less likely to lose your mind during the search. Because if you're anything like me, you already have a career, a family, and approximately 47 other responsibilities. Spending hours scrolling through profiles only to forget who you've already contacted is not the best use of your time. In this episode, I'm sharing the system I built during our last search, the one that helped us find an amazing au pair who stayed with our family for years. You'll hear why I start outside the agency apps, how I organize candidates, where I actually find people, and the simple preparation that makes the entire process smoother. In this episode, I discuss: Why the au pair apps may not be the best place to start your search The simple organizational system that keeps candidates from slipping through the cracks How I use Facebook groups strategically without getting trapped scrolling for hours What information I track for every candidate The message template that saves me time and helps start conversations quickly Why preparation matters more than most people realize Finding childcare support shouldn't feel like a second full-time job. A little organization on the front end can save you hours of frustration later. 🎧 Listen now and let me show you the system that's making my current au pair search much less painful. What did you think of the episode, doc? Let me know! Subscribe to ✨Stethoscopes and Strollers✨ on your favorite podcast platform so you never miss an episode. Apple Podcast | Spotify | YouTube Connect with me: Website | Instagram | Facebook Join my Email list to get tips on navigating motherhood in the medical field. If you are going through a transition -- becoming a parent, leaving a job, figuring out how manage it all, schedule a strategy coaching session and get clarity and strategic next steps for the life and career you want. Strategy Coaching Session with Dr. Toya

121. Patients Lie. Or Do They? How HVAC Customers remind me of patients

Hey Doc, Were you taught that patients lie? I was. Somewhere during training, the idea got planted that our job is to uncover the truth because patients won’t always tell it. Then I became an attending and started experiencing it myself. You spend twenty minutes counseling a patient. You draw diagrams. You answer questions. You document everything. Then somehow… “Nobody explained that to me.” “The doctor never told me.” “I never saw the doctor.” If you’ve ever walked back to your office wondering whether you’re losing your mind, this episode is for you. What surprised me is that it wasn’t until I left traditional practice that I gained enough distance to see these situations differently. And recently, while helping run our HVAC business, I watched my husband experience the exact same thing physicians deal with every day. A customer insisted he hadn’t been told something that had been explained multiple times. Sound familiar? In this episode, I’m talking about why these interactions can feel so demoralizing, why they contribute to resentment and burnout, and how a little compassion can sometimes protect you more than the other person. Not because patients are always right. But because carrying around the belief that it’s you versus them is exhausting. In this episode, I discuss: Why “patients lie” may be one of the most harmful lessons we learn in training How being repeatedly questioned can create resentment and burnout The surprising parallels between medicine and running an HVAC business Why people often misremember conversations without malicious intent How documentation protects us when memory and perception don’t match The role compassion plays in preserving your career longevity If you’ve ever felt unseen, misunderstood, or questioned after doing your absolute best for a patient, this episode is my reminder that I see you. And I believe you. 🎧 Listen now. What did you think of the episode, doc? Let me know! Subscribe to ✨Stethoscopes and Strollers✨ on your favorite podcast platform so you never miss an episode. Apple Podcast | Spotify | YouTube Connect with me: Website | Instagram | Facebook Join my Email list to get tips on navigating motherhood in the medical field. If you are going through a transition -- becoming a parent, leaving a job, figuring out how manage it all, schedule a strategy coaching session and get clarity and strategic next steps for the life and career you want. Strategy Coaching Session with Dr. Toya

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120. The Most Underrated AI Tool for Busy Physician Moms - Notebook LM

Hey Doc — I finally had to sit down and record this episode because I keep talking about NotebookLM to everybody. My Facebook friends. My sisters. Random physician moms who probably just asked me one innocent question and suddenly got a 20-minute TED Talk about AI 😂 But seriously? This tool is one of the most useful things I’ve added to my life recently. And if your brain already feels overloaded by medicine, motherhood, emails, meetings, MOC articles, school forms, endless tabs open on your laptop, and the 47 mental sticky notes floating around your head at all times… this episode is for you. Most people know about ChatGPT or Claude. But NotebookLM works differently. Instead of pulling random information from the internet and confidently making stuff up like a sleep-deprived intern on hour 26 of call, NotebookLM only works from the sources you upload yourself. PDFs. Research articles. Website links. YouTube videos. Audio files. Google Docs. That means: Less hallucinating • More accuracy • Actual citations you can click and verify • And a MUCH better experience for physician brains In this episode, I’m sharing: Why I think physicians need to learn AI instead of avoiding it How I use NotebookLM for MOC studying and research The surprising ways I use it in my business and personal life Why this tool feels like having a research assistant who actually cites her sources How AI can create more time, ease, and mental space for physician moms And before somebody messages me: No, I am not using AI to cheat on my MOCs 😂 I’m using it the same way most of us already use Ctrl + F on giant articles because ain’t nobody trying to reread a 42-page paper after putting kids to bed at 10 PM. This episode is really about working smarter. Because physician moms do not need more guilt about efficiency. We need tools that help us protect our energy and our time. 🎧 Listen now if you’re AI-curious, overwhelmed, skeptical, or just tired of wasting time searching through massive documents like you’re auditioning for a detective show nobody asked for. What did you think of the episode, doc? Let me know! Subscribe to ✨Stethoscopes and Strollers✨ on your favorite podcast platform so you never miss an episode. Apple Podcast | Spotify | YouTube Connect with me: Website | Instagram | Facebook Join my Email list to get tips on navigating motherhood in the medical field. If you are going through a transition -- becoming a parent, leaving a job, figuring out how manage it all, schedule a strategy coaching session and get clarity and strategic next steps for the life and career you want. Strategy Coaching Session with Dr. Toya

119. Affirmations Aren't Magic. They're Instructions.

I have to tell you what just happened in my house. My son ran inside to find me, eyes wide, proud as anything, and announced: "Mommy, I was just being resourceful." His toy car had rolled under the fridge. He tried the broom. He tried the mop. The fly swatter is what finally worked and he found another car under there he thought he had lost. In this episode, I'm using that moment to walk you through what affirmations actually do. Not the fluffy version. The clinical one. I'll tell you how my kids ended up saying "I am resourceful" every night, what changed when I started repeating the affirmations back during the day, and what that has to do with you, doc — because this isn't a parenting episode. This is about the instructions you've been giving your own subconscious without realizing it, and what shifts when you decide on purpose. What you'll walk away with: Why your brain takes your I-am statements as instructions, even when you don't believe them yet The reason repetition has to come before the meaning lands How to reinforce an affirmation in real life so it stops being words and becomes behavior The one small homework assignment for this week — pick one, say it out loud, say it in the mirror if you want to get fancy Homework: One I-am statement. Out loud. Every day. That's it. Listen if: you've ever rolled your eyes at affirmations, you've tried them and quit because they felt like lying, or you want to know what's actually happening in your brain when you repeat the same sentence on purpose. What did you think of the episode, doc? Let me know! Subscribe to ✨Stethoscopes and Strollers✨ on your favorite podcast platform so you never miss an episode. Apple Podcast | Spotify | YouTube Connect with me: Website | Instagram | Facebook Join my Email list to get tips on navigating motherhood in the medical field. If you are going through a transition -- becoming a parent, leaving a job, figuring out how manage it all, schedule a strategy coaching session and get clarity and strategic next steps for the life and career you want. Strategy Coaching Session with Dr. Toya

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118. Traveling With Your Au Pair (And Actually Enjoying It)

Au pair travel comes up in the groups every single week, and it's usually a horror story. The awkward silences, the au pair completely checked out, the vacation that didn't feel like a vacation. I did this episode because I think a lot of that drama is avoidable, and I want to share how we do it. But before you book that extra ticket, you need to answer a few questions honestly. Is this a trip or a vacation? Do you actually want childcare, or do you just feel like you should bring them? And do you know this person well enough to travel with them at all? I'm breaking down exactly how my family handles travel with an au pair: From setting work expectations before you leave, to giving dedicated time off so your au pair can go explore, to the seating arrangement on the plane that changed everything. (Yes, I'm going to tell you to go sit somewhere else. Trust me on this one.) This one is practical and direct, and it's full of the kind of clarity that makes the difference between a vacation and a very expensive, very stressful trip. In this episode: Vacation vs. trip; and why that distinction matters before anything else When to bring your au pair and when to leave them home (both are valid) How to communicate work hours, flexible schedules, and travel days upfront Why dedicated time off during a work trip benefits everyone The plane seating arrangement I swear by You worked hard for this vacation. Let's make sure you actually enjoy it. What did you think of the episode, doc? Let me know! Subscribe to ✨Stethoscopes and Strollers✨ on your favorite podcast platform so you never miss an episode. Apple Podcast | Spotify | YouTube Connect with me: Website | Instagram | Facebook Join my Email list to get tips on navigating motherhood in the medical field. If you are going through a transition -- becoming a parent, leaving a job, figuring out how manage it all, schedule a strategy coaching session and get clarity and strategic next steps for the life and career you want. Strategy Coaching Session with Dr. Toya

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