Secondhand Therapy

Love Me or Control Me? | #152

Support the boys: PATREON - http://patreon.com/secondhandtherapypod MERCH - http://shtpod.com Aura: Your data is being sold right now. Let my sponsor Aura find the brokers selling it and remove you automatically. Try 14 days for free: https://aura.com/sht Psychic Source: Go to our sponsor https://trypsychicsource.com/sht10 and use our code sht10 to try up to 40 minutes with an advisor for just $19.80. That is up to a $240 value! BetterHelp: Sponsored by BetterHelp. Visit https://betterhelp.com/secondhandtherapy. For members in the US, therapy may now cost less. With insurance, many members pay $15 or less. Some pay $0. If you don't have insurance or you don’t live in the United States, you can still get 10% off your first month. Insurance availability, coverage, and cost may vary by state, plan, provider network, therapist availability, and deductible status. http://vasectomyfarms.com — A portion of all profits are donated to women’s reproductive resources _____ You can love someone, worry about them, and still have no idea whether you're helping or making everything worse. So where's the line between protecting someone and trying to control them? Lou and Michael wrestle with addiction, grief, family loyalty, and the uncomfortable difference between empathy and enabling. When someone you love is struggling, how much responsibility belongs to you? And how do you set boundaries without feeling like you're abandoning them? A candid, sometimes confrontational conversation about personal responsibility, complicated family relationships, coping with loss, and the uncomfortable ways love and control can get tangled together. With the usual inappropriate humor, because apparently even emotional baggage needs a punchline. BUSINESS INQUIRIES: business@shtpod.com Follow us here: http://instagram.com/secondhandtherapypod http://tiktok.com/@secondhandtherapypod Contact us: secondhandtherapypod@gmail.com 818-850-2448 PO BOX 230595, Las Vegas, NV 89105 Cover Art Design: Louie Paoletti Theme Music: Jamie Franks Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

My Brain Needs a Damn Manager | #151

Support the boys: PATREON - http://patreon.com/secondhandtherapypod MERCH - http://shtpod.com Aura: Your data is being sold right now. Let my sponsor Aura find the brokers selling it and remove you automatically. Try 14 days for free: https://aura.com/sht Psychic Source: Go to our sponsor https://trypsychicsource.com/sht10 and use our code sht10 to try up to 40 minutes with an advisor for just $19.80. That is up to a $240 value! BetterHelp: If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our sponsor. Visit https://betterhelp.com/secondhandtherapy for a discount on your first month of therapy. #sponsored If you have questions about the brand relating to how the therapists are credentialed, their privacy policy, or therapist compensation, here is an overview written by the YouTube creators behind the channel Cinema Therapy that goes into these topics: https://www.reddit.com/r/cinema_therapy/comments/1dpriql/addressing_the_betterhelp_concerns_headon_deep/ http://vasectomyfarms.com — A portion of all profits are donated to women’s reproductive resources _____ Why is it so hard to let go of control, stop overthinking, and feel comfortable with uncertainty? On Secondhand Therapy, we explore the messy realities of mental health, anxiety, grief, personal growth, and the complicated ways our minds shape everyday life. Through honest conversations, dark humor, and unfiltered reflections, we get into the psychology of fear, emotional healing, pessimism, optimism, gratitude, and learning to navigate life's challenges. If you're interested in self-awareness, relationships, emotional intelligence, and making sense of the human experience, join us for another conversation about figuring it all out — or at least trying to. BUSINESS INQUIRIES: business@shtpod.com Follow us here: http://instagram.com/secondhandtherapypod http://tiktok.com/@secondhandtherapypod Contact us: secondhandtherapypod@gmail.com 818-850-2448 PO BOX 230595, Las Vegas, NV 89105 Cover Art Design: Louie Paoletti Theme Music: Jamie Franks Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

I'm Trying To Be Better | #150

Support the boys: PATREON - http://patreon.com/secondhandtherapypod MERCH - http://secondhandtherapypod.com Aura: Your data is being sold right now. Let my sponsor Aura find the brokers selling it and remove you automatically. Try 14 days for free: https://aura.com/sht Psychic Source: Go to our sponsor https://trypsychicsource.com/sht10 and use our code sht10 to try up to 40 minutes with an advisor for just $19.80. That is up to a $240 value! BetterHelp: If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our sponsor. Visit https://betterhelp.com/secondhandtherapy for a discount on your first month of therapy. #sponsored If you have questions about the brand relating to how the therapists are credentialed, their privacy policy, or therapist compensation, here is an overview written by the YouTube creators behind the channel Cinema Therapy that goes into these topics: https://www.reddit.com/r/cinema_therapy/comments/1dpriql/addressing_the_betterhelp_concerns_headon_deep/ http://vasectomyfarms.com — A portion of all profits are donated to women’s reproductive resources _____ How do we grow as people without overthinking every decision, taking everything personally, or feeling like we’re constantly falling short? On this episode of Secondhand Therapy, we get into personal growth, self-awareness, relationships, emotional intelligence, and the messy reality of trying to become a better version of yourself. From navigating expectations to understanding our own patterns, we explore the challenges of change, communication, and figuring out what actually matters. Because working on yourself is complicated, progress isn't always linear, and sometimes the best therapy comes with a few laughs. Secondhand Therapy is a mental health and comedy podcast about relationships, self-improvement, vulnerability, personal development, and the everyday struggles of being human. Join us for honest conversations about emotional growth, self-worth, and navigating life with a little more awareness and a lot less pressure. BUSINESS INQUIRIES: business@shtpod.com Follow us here: http://instagram.com/secondhandtherapypod http://tiktok.com/@secondhandtherapypod Contact us: secondhandtherapypod@gmail.com 818-850-2448 PO BOX 230595, Las Vegas, NV 89105 Cover Art Design: Louie Paoletti Theme Music: Jamie Franks Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

I'm Not Ready For Your Opinions | #149

Support the boys: PATREON - http://patreon.com/secondhandtherapypod MERCH - http://secondhandtherapypod.com Play Q-Less: https://grandislegamesllc.sjv.io/k4AGz0 Aura: Your data is being sold right now. Let my sponsor Aura find the brokers selling it and remove you automatically. Try 14 days for free: https://aura.com/sht Psychic Source: Go to our sponsor https://trypsychicsource.com/sht10 and use our code sht10 to try up to 40 minutes with an advisor for just $19.80. That is up to a $240 value! BetterHelp: If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our sponsor. Visit https://betterhelp.com/secondhandtherapy for a discount on your first month of therapy. #sponsored If you have questions about the brand relating to how the therapists are credentialed, their privacy policy, or therapist compensation, here is an overview written by the YouTube creators behind the channel Cinema Therapy that goes into these topics: https://www.reddit.com/r/cinema_therapy/comments/1dpriql/addressing_the_betterhelp_concerns_headon_deep/ http://vasectomyfarms.com — A portion of all profits are donated to women’s reproductive resources _____ What happens when love, grief, trauma, addiction, betrayal, and shame become impossible to separate? In this episode of Secondhand Therapy, we get into the complicated reality of relationships, emotional healing, grief, vulnerability, and what happens when the past continues to shape the way we experience love in the present. We talk about emotional trauma, complicated grief, addiction and relationships, trust, betrayal, guilt, shame, self-forgiveness, boundaries, control, fear, and the difficult process of moving forward after experiencing something that changes you. It’s an honest conversation about relationships and mental health—and about the things we carry long after a relationship ends. Sometimes healing isn't about finding a perfect explanation. Sometimes it's about learning what you can control, what you can't, and how to live with everything in between. Secondhand Therapy is a mental health and comedy podcast about relationships, vulnerability, anxiety, emotional growth, therapy, grief, and the messy parts of being human. BUSINESS INQUIRIES: business@shtpod.com Follow us here: http://instagram.com/secondhandtherapypod http://tiktok.com/@secondhandtherapypod Contact us: secondhandtherapypod@gmail.com 818-850-2448 PO BOX 230595, Las Vegas, NV 89105 Cover Art Design: Louie Paoletti Theme Music: Jamie Franks Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

• Transcript

Please Don't Listen to This | #148

Trigger Warning: This episodes contains discussions containing substance abuse and self harm. Support the boys: PATREON - http://patreon.com/secondhandtherapypod MERCH - http://secondhandtherapypod.com Play Q-Less: https://grandislegamesllc.sjv.io/k4AGz0 Psychic Source: Go to our sponsor https://trypsychicsource.com/sht10 and use our code sht10 to try up to 40 minutes with an advisor for just $19.80. That is up to a $240 value! BetterHelp: If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our sponsor. Visit https://betterhelp.com/secondhandtherapy for a discount on your first month of therapy. #sponsored If you have questions about the brand relating to how the therapists are credentialed, their privacy policy, or therapist compensation, here is an overview written by the YouTube creators behind the channel Cinema Therapy that goes into these topics: https://www.reddit.com/r/cinema_therapy/comments/1dpriql/addressing_the_betterhelp_concerns_headon_deep/ http://vasectomyfarms.com — A portion of all profits are donated to women’s reproductive resources BUSINESS INQUIRIES: business@shtpod.com Follow us here: http://instagram.com/secondhandtherapypod http://tiktok.com/@secondhandtherapypod Contact us: secondhandtherapypod@gmail.com 818-850-2448 PO BOX 230595, Las Vegas, NV 89105 Cover Art Design: Louie Paoletti Theme Music: Jamie Franks Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Sorry You Feel That Way | #147

Support the boys: PATREON - http://patreon.com/secondhandtherapypod MERCH - http://secondhandtherapypod.com Play Q-Less: https://grandislegamesllc.sjv.io/k4AGz0 Psychic Source: Go to our sponsor https://trypsychicsource.com/sht10 and use our code sht10 to try up to 40 minutes with an advisor for just $19.80. That is up to a $240 value! BetterHelp: If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our sponsor. Visit https://betterhelp.com/secondhandtherapy for a discount on your first month of therapy. #sponsored If you have questions about the brand relating to how the therapists are credentialed, their privacy policy, or therapist compensation, here is an overview written by the YouTube creators behind the channel Cinema Therapy that goes into these topics: https://www.reddit.com/r/cinema_therapy/comments/1dpriql/addressing_the_betterhelp_concerns_headon_deep/ http://vasectomyfarms.com — A portion of all profits are donated to women’s reproductive resources _____ What happens when care turns into caretaking, expectations turn into resentment, and control starts to feel like safety? In this episode of Secondhand Therapy, Lou and Michael explore codependency, relationships, healthy boundaries, anxiety, emotional regulation, control, trust, self-trust, communication, accountability, and personal growth. They unpack the complicated ways codependent relationships can create unspoken expectations, blurred boundaries, anxiety, guilt, and attempts to control how other people respond. The conversation also explores healthy relationships, emotional needs, empathy, relationship communication, intention versus impact, accountability, apologies, and learning how to communicate more effectively. The episode also gets into emotional overwhelm, avoidance, coping mechanisms, self-sabotage, progress, motivation, and trusting yourself when everyday responsibilities feel bigger than they actually are. Along the way, Lou and Michael examine how fear, anxiety, uncomfortable emotions, and old patterns can affect the way we navigate relationships and personal growth. This is an honest, funny, and relatable conversation about mental health, relationships, codependency, anxiety, boundaries, communication, self-awareness, emotional growth, and the process of becoming more aware of your own patterns. BUSINESS INQUIRIES: business@shtpod.com Follow us here: http://instagram.com/secondhandtherapypod http://tiktok.com/@secondhandtherapypod Contact us: secondhandtherapypod@gmail.com 818-850-2448 PO BOX 230595, Las Vegas, NV 89105 Cover Art Design: Louie Paoletti Theme Music: Jamie Franks Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Unspoken Expectations Ruin Everything | #146

Support the boys: PATREON - http://patreon.com/secondhandtherapypod MERCH - http://secondhandtherapypod.com Play Q-Less: https://grandislegamesllc.sjv.io/k4AGz0 Psychic Source: Go to our sponsor https://trypsychicsource.com/sht10 and use our code sht10 to try up to 40 minutes with an advisor for just $19.80. That is up to a $240 value! BetterHelp: If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our sponsor. Visit https://betterhelp.com/secondhandtherapy for a discount on your first month of therapy. #sponsored If you have questions about the brand relating to how the therapists are credentialed, their privacy policy, or therapist compensation, here is an overview written by the YouTube creators behind the channel Cinema Therapy that goes into these topics: https://www.reddit.com/r/cinema_therapy/comments/1dpriql/addressing_the_betterhelp_concerns_headon_deep/ http://vasectomyfarms.com — A portion of all profits are donated to women’s reproductive resources _____ What happens when love, friendship, communication, and expectations all collide? In this episode of Secondhand Therapy, a tense conversation turns into a deeper look at relationships, emotional triggers, anxiety, resentment, control, communication, and the expectations we place on the people we care about. Sometimes the conflict in front of us isn't the whole story—and sometimes our reactions are shaped by experiences that started long before the current situation. Lou and Michael explore what it means to feel considered, misunderstood, supported, or judged in a relationship, while unpacking the difference between intentions and impact, spoken and unspoken expectations, and taking responsibility for your own emotions without taking responsibility for someone else's. It's an honest, uncomfortable, and occasionally very funny conversation about relationship dynamics, boundaries, emotional regulation, family patterns, codependency, personal growth, and trying to communicate better with the people you love. BUSINESS INQUIRIES: business@shtpod.com Follow us here: http://instagram.com/secondhandtherapypod http://tiktok.com/@secondhandtherapypod Contact us: secondhandtherapypod@gmail.com 818-850-2448 PO BOX 230595, Las Vegas, NV 89105 Cover Art Design: Louie Paoletti Theme Music: Jamie Franks Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Michael Finally Said It | #145

Support the boys: PATREON - http://patreon.com/secondhandtherapypod MERCH - http://secondhandtherapypod.com Play Q-Less: https://grandislegamesllc.sjv.io/k4AGz0 Psychic Source: Go to our sponsor https://trypsychicsource.com/sht10 and use our code sht10 to try up to 40 minutes with an advisor for just $19.80. That is up to a $240 value! BetterHelp: If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our sponsor. Visit https://betterhelp.com/secondhandtherapy for a discount on your first month of therapy. #sponsored If you have questions about the brand relating to how the therapists are credentialed, their privacy policy, or therapist compensation, here is an overview written by the YouTube creators behind the channel Cinema Therapy that goes into these topics: https://www.reddit.com/r/cinema_therapy/comments/1dpriql/addressing_the_betterhelp_concerns_headon_deep/ http://vasectomyfarms.com — A portion of all profits are donated to women’s reproductive resources _____ What happens when anxiety turns literally everything into a potential problem? On this episode of Secondhand Therapy, Michael goes down the rabbit hole of anxiety, control, uncertainty, and the exhausting need to always have a plan. From needing an exit strategy to questioning every possible worst-case scenario, he starts looking at why his brain has such a hard time believing that things will be okay. A therapy session introduces a surprisingly strange cast of characters from inside his own head—including an extremely anxious robot and a very unexpected voice of reason. Lou and Michael unpack what anxiety is actually trying to accomplish, why uncertainty can feel so threatening, and what it takes to start trusting yourself when your brain keeps insisting that something could go wrong. It's funny, uncomfortable, unexpectedly emotional, and filled with the kind of therapy revelations that make you stop and go, “...oh.” BUSINESS INQUIRIES: business@shtpod.com Follow us here: http://instagram.com/secondhandtherapypod http://tiktok.com/@secondhandtherapypod Contact us: secondhandtherapypod@gmail.com 818-850-2448 PO BOX 230595, Las Vegas, NV 89105 Cover Art Design: Louie Paoletti Theme Music: Jamie Franks Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Problems and Patterns with Laura Day | #144

Support the boys: PATREON - http://patreon.com/secondhandtherapypod MERCH - http://secondhandtherapypod.com Psychic Source: Go to our sponsor https://trypsychicsource.com/sht10 and use our code sht10 to try up to 40 minutes with an advisor for just $19.80. That is up to a $240 value! BetterHelp: If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our sponsor. Visit https://betterhelp.com/secondhandtherapy for a discount on your first month of therapy. #sponsored If you have questions about the brand relating to how the therapists are credentialed, their privacy policy, or therapist compensation, here is an overview written by the YouTube creators behind the channel Cinema Therapy that goes into these topics: https://www.reddit.com/r/cinema_therapy/comments/1dpriql/addressing_the_betterhelp_concerns_headon_deep/ Southern New Hampshire University: Go to https://snhu.edu/sht to explore over 200 degree programs and find your path forward. #sponsored http://vasectomyfarms.com — A portion of all profits are donated to women’s reproductive resources _____ What if your intuition isn't random—and what if changing your life has less to do with willpower and more to do with paying attention to your patterns? In this episode of Secondhand Therapy, we sit down with Laura Day to unpack intuition, manifestation, executive dysfunction, personal growth, healing your past self, and the psychology of real change. We explore whether some people are naturally more intuitive, how executive dysfunction may affect the way we process information, and where intuition overlaps with manifestation and intentional living. The conversation gets especially interesting when we dig into why change can feel impossible even when you desperately want it. Instead of relying on belief, trust, or massive life overhauls, we talk about noticing small changes, gathering evidence, and creating a feedback loop that builds confidence over time. We also explore the difference between trying to force yourself to change and understanding the patterns that are already shaping your behavior. Plus: discipline vs. motivation, core values, minimalism, authenticity, kindness vs. niceness, and why being “nicer” might actually be harder than it sounds. If you've ever wondered why you keep repeating the same patterns, struggled to trust yourself, felt stuck trying to change, or questioned whether your intuition is actually telling you something, this episode is for you. BUSINESS INQUIRIES: business@shtpod.com Follow us here: http://instagram.com/secondhandtherapypod http://tiktok.com/@secondhandtherapypod Contact us: secondhandtherapypod@gmail.com 818-850-2448 PO BOX 230595, Las Vegas, NV 89105 Cover Art Design: Louie Paoletti Theme Music: Jamie Franks Topics include: intuition, manifestation, executive dysfunction, self-awareness, personal growth, healing your past self, behavioral patterns, discipline, intentional living, core values, authenticity, confidence, emotional healing, self-improvement, and therapy. Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Low Stuff and Steam | #143

Trigger Warning: This episode contains a discussion including suicide Support the boys: PATREON - http://patreon.com/secondhandtherapypod MERCH - http://secondhandtherapypod.com Psychic Source: Go to our sponsor https://trypsychicsource.com/sht10 and use our code sht10 to try up to 40 minutes with an advisor for just $19.80. That is up to a $240 value! BetterHelp: If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our sponsor. Visit https://betterhelp.com/secondhandtherapy for a discount on your first month of therapy. #sponsored If you have questions about the brand relating to how the therapists are credentialed, their privacy policy, or therapist compensation, here is an overview written by the YouTube creators behind the channel Cinema Therapy that goes into these topics: https://www.reddit.com/r/cinema_therapy/comments/1dpriql/addressing_the_betterhelp_concerns_headon_deep/ Southern New Hampshire University: Go to https://snhu.edu/sht to explore over 200 degree programs and find your path forward. #sponsored http://vasectomyfarms.com — A portion of all profits are donated to women’s reproductive resources _____ What if your “need for context” is actually just defensiveness in disguise? This week on Secondhand Therapy, Lou and Michael unpack low self-esteem, codependency, validation, people-pleasing, emotional safety, and the surprisingly complicated art of admitting when you’re wrong. A conversation about why some of us struggle to trust our own opinions, constantly look to other people for reassurance, and feel personally attacked when someone points out a mistake. Lou digs into what codependency and low self-esteem look like in everyday life—from difficulty making decisions and valuing other people’s opinions over your own to seeking praise, struggling with healthy boundaries, and needing external validation. They also explore how childhood experiences can shape confidence, emotional regulation, and the ability to process your own feelings. Meanwhile, Michael confronts his own relationship with defensiveness, accountability, perfectionism, and the instinct to explain himself whenever he feels criticized. Is providing context actually helpful—or is it just a very articulate way of avoiding “I fucked up”? The conversation gets into emotional intelligence, conflict in relationships, resentment, holding space, vulnerability, self-worth, childhood emotional neglect, processing emotions, and the difference between taking accountability and beating yourself up. And, naturally, there is an extended discussion about cereal for dinner. BUSINESS INQUIRIES: business@shtpod.com Follow us here: http://instagram.com/secondhandtherapypod http://tiktok.com/@secondhandtherapypod Contact us: secondhandtherapypod@gmail.com 818-850-2448 PO BOX 230595, Las Vegas, NV 89105 Cover Art Design: Louie Paoletti Theme Music: Jamie Franks Topics: low self-esteem, codependency, defensiveness, emotional intelligence, validation, people-pleasing, self-worth, accountability, emotional regulation, childhood emotional neglect, relationships, boundaries Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Being Misunderstood is my Toxic Trait | #142

Support the boys: PATREON - http://patreon.com/secondhandtherapypod MERCH - http://secondhandtherapypod.com Psychic Source: Go to our sponsor https://trypsychicsource.com/sht10 and use our code sht10 to try up to 40 minutes with an advisor for just $19.80. That is up to a $240 value! BetterHelp: If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our sponsor. Visit https://betterhelp.com/secondhandtherapy for a discount on your first month of therapy. #sponsored If you have questions about the brand relating to how the therapists are credentialed, their privacy policy, or therapist compensation, here is an overview written by the YouTube creators behind the channel Cinema Therapy that goes into these topics: https://www.reddit.com/r/cinema_therapy/comments/1dpriql/addressing_the_betterhelp_concerns_headon_deep/ Southern New Hampshire University: Go to https://snhu.edu/sht to explore over 200 degree programs and find your path forward. #sponsored http://vasectomyfarms.com — A portion of all profits are donated to women’s reproductive resources _____ What happens when the internet sees 90 seconds of your life and decides they know your entire personality? This week on Secondhand Therapy, Lou and Michael unpack the fallout from a viral clip that sparked a comment-section debate about flirting, relationships, jealousy, safety, and whether Michael crossed a line by giving a woman a drawing. What starts as a conversation about social media judgment turns into something much deeper: the difference between being misunderstood and being wrong, how much weight we should give strangers’ opinions, and why taking accountability for your own emotions matters. They also get into control, projection, relationship boundaries, communication, emotional responsibility, gaslighting, the importance of language, and the uncomfortable reality that sometimes the people criticizing us online might actually have a point. Because growth isn't about being right all the time. It's about being willing to look at yourself when you might be wrong—and figuring out what feedback is actually worth listening to. Secondhand Therapy is a mental health and comedy podcast about relationships, vulnerability, men's mental health, emotional growth, therapy, anxiety, communication, and the messy process of figuring yourself out. BUSINESS INQUIRIES: business@shtpod.com Follow us here: http://instagram.com/secondhandtherapypod http://tiktok.com/@secondhandtherapypod Contact us: secondhandtherapypod@gmail.com 818-850-2448 PO BOX 230595, Las Vegas, NV 89105 Cover Art Design: Louie Paoletti Theme Music: Jamie Franks Topics include: social media criticism, being misunderstood, internet judgment, relationships, jealousy, flirting, relationship boundaries, emotional accountability, personal responsibility, control, projection, communication, gaslighting, therapy, self-reflection, men's mental health, vulnerability, emotional growth, and learning when to take criticism seriously. Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Can You Flirt by Accident? | #141

Support the boys: PATREON - http://patreon.com/secondhandtherapypod MERCH - http://secondhandtherapypod.com Psychic Source: Go to our sponsor https://trypsychicsource.com/sht10 and use our code sht10 to try up to 40 minutes with an advisor for just $19.80. That is up to a $240 value! BetterHelp: If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our sponsor. Visit https://betterhelp.com/secondhandtherapy for a discount on your first month of therapy. #sponsored If you have questions about the brand relating to how the therapists are credentialed, their privacy policy, or therapist compensation, here is an overview written by the YouTube creators behind the channel Cinema Therapy that goes into these topics: https://www.reddit.com/r/cinema_therapy/comments/1dpriql/addressing_the_betterhelp_concerns_headon_deep/ Southern New Hampshire University: Go to https://snhu.edu/sht to explore over 200 degree programs and find your path forward. #sponsored http://vasectomyfarms.com — A portion of all profits are donated to women’s reproductive resources _____ What happens when your intentions don't match how other people experience you? This week on Secondhand Therapy, Michael shares why he switched to a dumb phone, started drawing at his local coffee shop, and accidentally found himself in a debate about whether kindness can be mistaken for flirting. From there, the conversation turns into something much bigger: emotional intention, dating, relationship communication, trust, boundaries, and how differently men and women move through the world. The guys also explore one of the hardest relationship questions: How do you know when it's time to leave? They discuss emotional exhaustion, falling in and out of love, long-term relationships, fear of commitment, avoiding vulnerability after heartbreak, and whether love is something you choose over and over again. Later, they unpack a book about curiosity, emotional healing, and breaking old thought patterns, leading to a conversation about anxiety, self-awareness, emotional growth, therapy, and rewriting the stories we inherited about ourselves. If you've ever struggled with dating, relationships, overthinking, emotional avoidance, attachment, vulnerability, or figuring out whether to stay or walk away, this episode is for you. BUSINESS INQUIRIES: business@shtpod.com Follow us here: http://instagram.com/secondhandtherapypod http://tiktok.com/@secondhandtherapypod Contact us: secondhandtherapypod@gmail.com 818-850-2448 PO BOX 230595, Las Vegas, NV 89105 Cover Art Design: Louie Paoletti Theme Music: Jamie Franks Topics include: relationships, dating, emotional intelligence, therapy, attachment styles, vulnerability, emotional healing, communication, commitment, anxiety, self-growth, boundaries, curiosity, overthinking, personal development, mental health, breakup advice, emotional resilience, men's mental health, psychology, self-awareness. Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

I Am Her | #140

Support the boys: PATREON - http://patreon.com/secondhandtherapypod MERCH - http://secondhandtherapypod.com Psychic Source: Go to our sponsor https://trypsychicsource.com/sht10 and use our code sht10 to try up to 40 minutes with an advisor for just $19.80. That is up to a $240 value! BetterHelp: If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our sponsor. Visit https://betterhelp.com/secondhandtherapy for a discount on your first month of therapy. #sponsored If you have questions about the brand relating to how the therapists are credentialed, their privacy policy, or therapist compensation, here is an overview written by the YouTube creators behind the channel Cinema Therapy that goes into these topics: https://www.reddit.com/r/cinema_therapy/comments/1dpriql/addressing_the_betterhelp_concerns_headon_deep/ Southern New Hampshire University: Go to https://snhu.edu/sht to explore over 200 degree programs and find your path forward. #sponsored http://vasectomyfarms.com — A portion of all profits are donated to women’s reproductive resources _____ What happens when you finally let yourself be angry? This week, Michael shares one of his biggest therapy breakthroughs yet after writing a deeply emotional letter to his late mother. What begins as grief quickly turns into conversations about childhood programming, emotional suppression, people pleasing, inherited coping mechanisms, and the uncomfortable realization that we often become the very people who shaped us. Louie and Michael also explore the difference between happiness and fulfillment, why expressing emotions is essential for human connection, learning new skills as adults, and how fear quietly controls more of our lives than we realize. If you've struggled with grief, emotional neglect, family trauma, unresolved anger, people pleasing, self-worth, or healing your inner child, this episode will probably hit close to home—with plenty of laughs along the way. BUSINESS INQUIRIES: business@shtpod.com Follow us here: http://instagram.com/secondhandtherapypod http://tiktok.com/@secondhandtherapypod Contact us: secondhandtherapypod@gmail.com 818-850-2448 PO BOX 230595, Las Vegas, NV 89105 Cover Art Design: Louie Paoletti Theme Music: Jamie Franks Topics include: therapy, grief, emotional healing, childhood trauma, parent-child relationships, anger, emotional vulnerability, people pleasing, happiness vs. fulfillment, self-discovery, fear, emotional regulation, personal growth, mental health, and healing from the past. Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

I'm In The Business of Misery | #139

Support the boys: PATREON - http://patreon.com/secondhandtherapypod MERCH - http://secondhandtherapypod.com Psychic Source: Go to our sponsor https://trypsychicsource.com/sht10 and use our code sht10 to try up to 40 minutes with an advisor for just $19.80. That is up to a $240 value! BetterHelp: If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our sponsor. Visit https://betterhelp.com/secondhandtherapy for a discount on your first month of therapy. #sponsored If you have questions about the brand relating to how the therapists are credentialed, their privacy policy, or therapist compensation, here is an overview written by the YouTube creators behind the channel Cinema Therapy that goes into these topics: https://www.reddit.com/r/cinema_therapy/comments/1dpriql/addressing_the_betterhelp_concerns_headon_deep/ Southern New Hampshire University: Go to https://snhu.edu/sht to explore over 200 degree programs and find your path forward. #sponsored http://vasectomyfarms.com — A portion of all profits are donated to women’s reproductive resources _____ What happens when your brain mistakes pain for safety? This week on Secondhand Therapy, Michael shares one of his biggest therapy breakthroughs yet after a week filled with recovery conversations, codependency meetings, and difficult realizations about love, grief, and self-sabotage. The guys unpack why fear of abandonment can cause people to sabotage healthy relationships, how childhood attachment wounds shape adult dating patterns, and why some people unconsciously recreate emotional pain because it feels familiar. They also explore love addiction (SLAA), codependency recovery, emotional vulnerability, and the hidden ways grief can prevent happiness. The conversation takes an unexpected turn as Michael opens up about seeing someone who reminded him of his late mother, leading to a powerful discussion about complicated grief, survivor's guilt, healing after losing a parent, and learning how to carry someone forward without letting loss define your life. If you've ever struggled with anxiety, attachment, abandonment fears, people-pleasing, grief, emotional healing, or wondered why healthy love feels uncomfortable, this episode is for you. BUSINESS INQUIRIES: business@shtpod.com Follow us here: http://instagram.com/secondhandtherapypod http://tiktok.com/@secondhandtherapypod Contact us: secondhandtherapypod@gmail.com 818-850-2448 PO BOX 230595, Las Vegas, NV 89105 Cover Art Design: Louie Paoletti Theme Music: Jamie Franks Topics include: grief, therapy, codependency, self-sabotage, fear of abandonment, attachment styles, childhood trauma, emotional healing, love addiction (SLAA), relationships, mental health, vulnerability, recovery, loss, and personal growth. Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Beach Camping and a Control Freak | #138

Support the boys: PATREON - http://patreon.com/secondhandtherapypod MERCH - http://secondhandtherapypod.com Psychic Source: Go to our sponsor https://trypsychicsource.com/sht10 and use our code sht10 to try up to 40 minutes with an advisor for just $19.80. That is up to a $240 value! BetterHelp: If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our sponsor. Visit https://betterhelp.com/secondhandtherapy for a discount on your first month of therapy. #sponsored If you have questions about the brand relating to how the therapists are credentialed, their privacy policy, or therapist compensation, here is an overview written by the YouTube creators behind the channel Cinema Therapy that goes into these topics: https://www.reddit.com/r/cinema_therapy/comments/1dpriql/addressing_the_betterhelp_concerns_headon_deep/ Southern New Hampshire University: Go to https://snhu.edu/sht to explore over 200 degree programs and find your path forward. #sponsored http://vasectomyfarms.com — A portion of all profits are donated to women’s reproductive resources _____ Can you ever truly let go of control? This week on Secondhand Therapy, Louie shares what surprised him most after trying camping for the first time in decades. Away from mirrors, screens, and the constant pace of everyday life, he discovers an unexpected sense of stillness that sparks a much deeper conversation. From there, Michael opens up about a major breakthrough in therapy around control, anxiety, perfectionism, and the exhausting need to predict every possible outcome. Together, they explore how hypervigilance, codependency, people-pleasing, and childhood survival strategies can turn everyday decisions into overwhelming mental battles—and what it takes to begin letting go. They also discuss Internal Family Systems (IFS), parts work, body image, self-consciousness, nervous system regulation, mindfulness, and why learning to tolerate uncertainty may be one of the hardest—and most healing—skills we can develop. If you've ever struggled with overthinking, anxiety, perfectionism, control issues, or feeling like your brain never stops planning for the worst, this episode is for you. BUSINESS INQUIRIES: business@shtpod.com Follow us here: http://instagram.com/secondhandtherapypod http://tiktok.com/@secondhandtherapypod Contact us: secondhandtherapypod@gmail.com 818-850-2448 PO BOX 230595, Las Vegas, NV 89105 Cover Art Design: Louie Paoletti Theme Music: Jamie Franks Topics: anxiety, control, overthinking, perfectionism, Internal Family Systems (IFS), parts work, codependency, people pleasing, nervous system healing, emotional healing, self-worth, mindfulness, camping, therapy, mental health podcast. Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Parts Work & A Gay Wedding | #137

Support the boys: PATREON - http://patreon.com/secondhandtherapypod MERCH - http://secondhandtherapypod.com Psychic Source: Go to our sponsor https://trypsychicsource.com/sht10 and use our code sht10 to try up to 40 minutes with an advisor for just $19.80. That is up to a $240 value! BetterHelp: If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our sponsor. Visit https://betterhelp.com/secondhandtherapy for a discount on your first month of therapy. #sponsored If you have questions about the brand relating to how the therapists are credentialed, their privacy policy, or therapist compensation, here is an overview written by the YouTube creators behind the channel Cinema Therapy that goes into these topics: https://www.reddit.com/r/cinema_therapy/comments/1dpriql/addressing_the_betterhelp_concerns_headon_deep/ Southern New Hampshire University: Go to https://snhu.edu/sht to explore over 200 degree programs and find your path forward. #sponsored http://vasectomyfarms.com — A portion of all profits are donated to women’s reproductive resources _____ We unpack why rejection hurts even when you don't want what you were rejected from. What begins as a conversation about not being invited to a wedding turns into a deeper exploration of ego, attachment, validation, friendship, and the stories we tell ourselves when we feel left out. Then the conversation shifts into an eye-opening therapy session using Parts Work (Internal Family Systems / IFS), where hidden emotional "parts" begin to reveal themselves. Anxiety, anger, people pleasing, emotional suppression, and fear of conflict all collide in an honest discussion about why expressing anger can feel so dangerous—and how childhood conditioning can shape the way we react as adults. If you've ever struggled with rejection sensitivity, conflict avoidance, emotional regulation, overthinking, anxiety, or understanding your own emotional triggers, this episode will probably feel uncomfortably familiar. BUSINESS INQUIRIES: business@shtpod.com Follow us here: http://instagram.com/secondhandtherapypod http://tiktok.com/@secondhandtherapypod Contact us: secondhandtherapypod@gmail.com 818-850-2448 PO BOX 230595, Las Vegas, NV 89105 Cover Art Design: Louie Paoletti Theme Music: Jamie Franks Topics include: Parts Work (IFS), Internal Family Systems therapy, anxiety, anger, emotional healing, rejection, friendship, people pleasing, attachment, emotional regulation, trauma responses, boundaries, therapy, self-awareness, vulnerability, relationships, personal growth, mental health, emotional intelligence, and healing childhood patterns. Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Toxic F*ckhead Island | #136

Support the boys: PATREON - http://patreon.com/secondhandtherapypod MERCH - http://secondhandtherapypod.com Psychic Source: Go to our sponsor https://trypsychicsource.com/sht10 and use our code sht10 to try up to 40 minutes with an advisor for just $19.80. That is up to a $240 value! BetterHelp: If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our sponsor. Visit https://betterhelp.com/secondhandtherapy for a discount on your first month of therapy. #sponsored If you have questions about the brand relating to how the therapists are credentialed, their privacy policy, or therapist compensation, here is an overview written by the YouTube creators behind the channel Cinema Therapy that goes into these topics: https://www.reddit.com/r/cinema_therapy/comments/1dpriql/addressing_the_betterhelp_concerns_headon_deep/ Southern New Hampshire University: Go to https://snhu.edu/sht to explore over 200 degree programs and find your path forward. #sponsored http://vasectomyfarms.com — A portion of all profits are donated to women’s reproductive resources _____ This week on Secondhand Therapy, we spiral through the chaos of modern dating, emotional wounds, and why so many of us confuse being chosen with actually choosing. What starts as a breakdown of Love Island turns into a deeper conversation about jealousy, codependency, attachment styles, rejection trauma, emotional accountability, toxic relationship patterns, and the psychology of needing validation. Lou and Michael unpack how childhood conditioning shapes adult relationships, why some people feel they have to earn love, and what happens when anger feels too dangerous to express. From dating red flags to emotional regulation, vulnerability, anxious attachment, self-worth, and healing old wounds—this episode blends therapy talk with comedy in the way only Secondhand Therapy can. _____ BUSINESS INQUIRIES: business@shtpod.com Follow us here: http://instagram.com/secondhandtherapypod http://tiktok.com/@secondhandtherapypod Contact us: secondhandtherapypod@gmail.com 818-850-2448 PO BOX 230595, Las Vegas, NV 89105 Cover Art Design: Louie Paoletti Theme Music: Jamie Franks Topics include: dating anxiety, relationship advice, emotional intelligence, trauma bonding, people pleasing, abandonment wounds, men’s mental health, self-worth, attachment theory, love addiction, and healing from childhood trauma. Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

I'm Stuck, Please Don't Hurt Me | #135

Support the boys: PATREON - http://patreon.com/secondhandtherapypod MERCH - http://secondhandtherapypod.com Psychic Source: Go to our sponsor https://trypsychicsource.com/sht10 and use our code sht10 to try up to 40 minutes with an advisor for just $19.80. That is up to a $240 value! BetterHelp: If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our sponsor. Visit https://betterhelp.com/secondhandtherapy for a discount on your first month of therapy. #sponsored If you have questions about the brand relating to how the therapists are credentialed, their privacy policy, or therapist compensation, here is an overview written by the YouTube creators behind the channel Cinema Therapy that goes into these topics: https://www.reddit.com/r/cinema_therapy/comments/1dpriql/addressing_the_betterhelp_concerns_headon_deep/ Southern New Hampshire University: Go to https://snhu.edu/sht to explore over 200 degree programs and find your path forward. #sponsored http://vasectomyfarms.com — A portion of all profits are donated to women’s reproductive resources _____ In this episode of Secondhand Therapy, Lou and Michael unpack the emotional freeze state that can hit during stress, anxiety, and grief — from dissociation in a parking lot to the invisible “reps” it takes to keep showing up. They dive deep into codependency, abandonment wounds, dating anxiety, and the fear of getting hurt when a new connection feels too familiar too fast. The conversation explores attachment styles, emotional regulation, control as self-protection, and how unresolved trauma can shape relationships. Plus: modern dating apps, vulnerability in men, non-monogamy, and why healing isn’t as linear as we hope. _____ BUSINESS INQUIRIES: business@shtpod.com Follow us here: http://instagram.com/secondhandtherapypod http://tiktok.com/@secondhandtherapypod Contact us: secondhandtherapypod@gmail.com 818-850-2448 PO BOX 230595, Las Vegas, NV 89105 Cover Art Design: Louie Paoletti Theme Music: Jamie Franks Topics: anxiety, codependency recovery, emotional overwhelm, dissociation, attachment theory, dating after heartbreak, men’s mental health, trauma healing, relationships, abandonment issues, therapy, grief, vulnerability. Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Reporting Live: I'm Trapped | #134

Support the boys: PATREON - http://patreon.com/secondhandtherapypod MERCH - http://secondhandtherapypod.com Psychic Source: Go to our sponsor https://trypsychicsource.com/sht10 and use our code sht10 to try up to 40 minutes with an advisor for just $19.80. That is up to a $240 value! BetterHelp: If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our sponsor. Visit https://betterhelp.com/secondhandtherapy for a discount on your first month of therapy. #sponsored If you have questions about the brand relating to how the therapists are credentialed, their privacy policy, or therapist compensation, here is an overview written by the YouTube creators behind the channel Cinema Therapy that goes into these topics: https://www.reddit.com/r/cinema_therapy/comments/1dpriql/addressing_the_betterhelp_concerns_headon_deep/ Southern New Hampshire University: Go to https://snhu.edu/sht to explore over 200 degree programs and find your path forward. #sponsored http://vasectomyfarms.com — A portion of all profits are donated to women’s reproductive resources Why do some people feel trapped even when the door is open? This week on Secondhand Therapy, Lou and Michael unpack the traits they inherited from their parents — addiction, anxiety, humor, shame, and the constant urge to escape. Lou opens up about a major therapy breakthrough around self-sabotage, ADHD overwhelm, money anxiety, loneliness, and feeling stuck, while Michael explores what it means to feel emotions instead of just reporting them. They dive into childhood trauma, emotional vulnerability, family dynamics, social anxiety, inherited patterns, relationships, and healing, while asking the hard question: Are we living the life we actually want — or the one fear built for us? A raw and funny conversation about men’s mental health, therapy, emotional regulation, connection, and breaking generational cycles. _____ BUSINESS INQUIRIES: business@shtpod.com Follow us here: http://instagram.com/secondhandtherapypod http://tiktok.com/@secondhandtherapypod Contact us: secondhandtherapypod@gmail.com 818-850-2448 PO BOX 230595, Las Vegas, NV 89105 Cover Art Design: Louie Paoletti Theme Music: Jamie Franks Topics: therapy, ADHD, anxiety, emotional suppression, trauma healing, money mindset, self-worth, vulnerability, family trauma, relationships, loneliness, social connection Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

A F*ck Boy and a Vasectomy | Replay

Support the boys: PATREON - http://patreon.com/secondhandtherapypod MERCH - http://secondhandtherapypod.com Psychic Source: Go to our sponsor https://trypsychicsource.com/sht10 and use our code sht10 to try up to 40 minutes with an advisor for just $19.80. That is up to a $240 value! BetterHelp: If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our sponsor. Visit https://betterhelp.com/secondhandtherapy for a discount on your first month of therapy. #sponsored If you have questions about the brand relating to how the therapists are credentialed, their privacy policy, or therapist compensation, here is an overview written by the YouTube creators behind the channel Cinema Therapy that goes into these topics: https://www.reddit.com/r/cinema_therapy/comments/1dpriql/addressing_the_betterhelp_concerns_headon_deep/ Southern New Hampshire University: Go to https://snhu.edu/sht to explore over 200 degree programs and find your path forward. #sponsored http://vasectomyfarms.com — A portion of all profits are donated to women’s reproductive resources _____ Vasectomies, validation, casual dating, and emotional accountability — this week on Secondhand Therapy, Lou opens up about getting a vasectomy, the fears that came with it, and what the recovery was really like. Meanwhile, Michael unpacks a brutal therapy breakthrough about how his actions in dating don’t match his intentions. The guys get into fear of commitment, people-pleasing, casual relationships vs emotional intimacy, validation addiction, dating apps, self-worth, and why setting boundaries is harder than it sounds. They also explore the uncomfortable truth about using relationships for external validation and what it means to finally choose yourself. If you’ve struggled with attachment styles, dating anxiety, therapy breakthroughs, boundaries in relationships, or learning how to stop seeking validation from others, this episode is for you. Topics: vasectomy recovery, men’s mental health, dating advice, therapy, emotional maturity, people pleasing, casual sex, attachment wounds, self-love, relationships, fear, healing. BUSINESS INQUIRIES: business@shtpod.com Follow us here: http://instagram.com/secondhandtherapypod http://tiktok.com/@secondhandtherapypod Contact us: secondhandtherapypod@gmail.com 818-850-2448 PO BOX 230595, Las Vegas, NV 89105 Cover Art Design: Louie Paoletti Theme Music: Jamie Franks Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy