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Please Don't Take Me Home

Lock It In Studio

Please Don’t Take Me Home is a funny, nostalgic football podcast about the joy, misery and glorious absurdity of supporting a club.

Hosted by Piers Hewitt, broadcaster, drummer with The Boxer Rebellion and lifelong Southend United fan, and comedian, presenter and Crystal Palace obsessive Jim Daly, each episode welcomes a well-known football fan from the worlds of comedy, music, sport and entertainment.

Together, they revisit unforgettable away days, heartbreaking defeats, last-minute winners, lucky superstitions, terrible journeys, questionable scran and the moments that keep supporters coming back season after season.

Formerly known as Away Days, Please Don’t Take Me Home celebrates the beautiful day out, whatever happens in the ugly game.

New episodes every week. Follow or subscribe wherever you get your podcasts.

Producer: Will Nichols

Production Company: Lock It In Studio

Music: Chris 'Woody' Wood

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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26 episodes
weekly
Avg 55 min
English

Episodes 26

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S3 · E6
Today · 51 min
Doc Brown: Meeting Ian Wright and getting done by Wayne Routledge
Comedian, actor and musician Doc Brown joins Piers and Jim to talk about his lifelong love of Crystal Palace. Doc remembers Wayne Routledge denying him a goalscoring moment in a charity match, meeting Ian Wright at the end of his street and seeing John Barnes at his first ever football game. He also explains how Three Lions influenced the song he wrote for Palace’s FA Cup final and nominates Stoke as one of football’s most miserable away days. Plus, the perfect time to score a goal, “Gherkin’s in a pickle” and an important update on the "Akabusi effect." Please Don’t Take Me Home is a football podcast about the day, not the game. Follow Please Don’t Take Me Home: Instagram TikTok X/Twitter Facebook Email: pdtmhpod@gmail.com Hosted by Piers Hewitt and Jim Daly Music by Chris 'Woody' Wood Produced by Will Nichols A Lock It In Studio production Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S3 · E5
October 7 · 49 min
Chesney Hawkes: Timmy Mallett and the West Ham Firm
Singer-songwriter and lifelong West Ham supporter Chesney Hawkes joins Piers and Jim to celebrate the joy, pain and beautiful nonsense of following the Hammers. Chesney remembers losing 4-0 at Spurs on his first away day, following West Ham home and away throughout the 1980s and performing for 50,000 supporters before the Conference League final in Prague. He also reveals why Matt Le Tissier keeps turning up at his gigs, attempts to build a touring band from former footballers and introduces us to the fearsome West Ham hard man known as The Mallet. Plus, naming a dog after Julian Dicks, forcing your children to support the correct club and the mysterious disappearance of babies called Phil, Nigel and Keith. Follow Please Don’t Take Me Home: Instagram TikTok X/Twitter Facebook Email: pdtmhpod@gmail.com Hosted by Piers Hewitt and Jim Daly Music by Chris 'Woody' Wood Produced by Will Nichols A Lock It In Studio production Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S3 · E4
September 30 · 39 min
Who Is the Greatest Bald Footballer Ever? With Woody
Former Away Days co-host and Bastille drummer Woody returns to find out what Piers and Jim have done to the place. They look back at England’s World Cup campaign, before Piers makes the horrifying discovery that neither Jim nor Woody watched the Mexico game live. There is also an examination of a vintage Billericay shirt, some shameless Wembley bragging and an important debate about the greatest bald footballer of all time. Plus, the remarkable 34-year playing career of Barry Hayles, the footballers they first spotted in public, Dave Benson Phillips at Chessington’s reptile house and Cliff Richard struggling with a cashpoint in Portugal. Follow Please Don’t Take Me Home: Instagram TikTok X/Twitter Facebook Email: pdtmhpod@gmail.com Hosted by Piers Hewitt and Jim Daly Music by Chris 'Woody' Wood Produced by Will Nichols A Lock It In Studio production Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S3 · E3
September 23 · 51 min
Alfie Dundas: Ben White would be my Best Man
Comedian and Arsenal fan Alfie Dundas joins Piers and Jim to answer the important questions: how much prison time would he serve to attend the 1966 World Cup final, which footballer would make the best man at his wedding, and how did anyone celebrate before the invention of the high-five? Alfie assembles the ultimate footballer stag do, explains why being Jobe Bellingham would be dreadful, reviews the podcast’s questionable commitment to discussing football and reflects on the best and worst matches he has witnessed at the Emirates. Follow Please Don’t Take Me Home: Instagram TikTok X/Twitter Facebook Email: pdtmhpod@gmail.com Hosted by Piers Hewitt and Jim Daly Music by Chris 'Woody' Wood Produced by Will Nichols A Lock It In Studio production Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S3 · E2
September 16 · 49 min
Chloe Petts: “I’d Be a Corrupt Referee”
Comedian, Taskmaster contestant and lifelong Crystal Palace supporter Chloe Petts joins Piers Hewitt and Jim Daly to celebrate FA Cup glory, mysterious Roy Hodgson sightings and living on a desert island with Paul Scholes. Chloe explains why she trained to become a referee before deciding the job required too much “cop energy” and reveals how corrupt she would be if asked to run the line at Palace. She also relives the overwhelming emotion of watching Palace finally win the FA Cup, remembers the Arsenal defeat that taught her about boundaries and self-esteem, and Jim tells us about the goalless away day that ended with Bovril running down the back of his white T-shirt. You can watch Chloe on Taksmaster on Channel 4, and give her a follow, here Follow Please Don’t Take Me Home: Instagram TikTok X/Twitter Facebook Email: pdtmhpod@gmail.com Hosted by Piers Hewitt and Jim Daly Music by Chris 'Woody' Wood Produced by Will Nichols A Lock It In Studio production Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S3 · E1
September 9 · 50 min
Alex Horne: Liverpool might be my Mummy
Taskmaster creator Alex Horne joins Jim Daly and Piers Hewitt at Chesham United for the first-ever episode of Please Don’t Take Me Home, the new name for Away Days with Woody and Piers. Alex reveals how a Taskmaster event led to him joining the club’s board, why he thinks football is “90% dull” and whether Chesham now means more to him than Liverpool. He also picks his dream football Taskmaster line-up, recalls the club’s famous FA Cup giant-killing and explains how he was stood up by Peter Crouch. Meanwhile, Jim reveals the Egg United tattoo that gave his wife “the ick”, Piers shares his unexpected love of away-day pyjamas, and the three of them attempt to establish what the numbers on a toaster actually mean. Follow Please Don’t Take Me Home: Instagram TikTok X/Twitter Facebook Email: pdtmhpod@gmail.com Hosted by Piers Hewitt and Jim Daly Music by Chris 'Woody' Wood Produced by Will Nichols A Lock It In Studio production Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
September 3 · 56 sec
Please Don't Take Me Home Trailer
Please Don’t Take Me Home is a football podcast about the day, not the game. Each week, Piers Hewitt and Jim Daly are joined by a notable football fan to celebrate the joy, pain and beautiful nonsense of supporting a team, from unforgettable matches and disastrous away days to pies, pints and questionable decisions. Follow Please Don’t Take Me Home: Instagram TikTok X/Twitter Facebook Email: pdtmhpod@gmail.com Hosted by Piers Hewitt and Jim Daly Music by Chris 'Woody' Wood Produced by Will Nichols A Lock It In Studio production Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S2 · E35
May 20 · 52 min
End of season wrap up, with Producer Will
It’s the final Away Days of the season and Producer Will steps out from behind the laptop to join Woody and Piers for a chaotic look back at the year. There’s talk of Southend’s Wembley glory and managerial heartbreak, Plymouth away days in the spring sunshine, and whether seeing Wealdstone four times in one season should be legally allowed. The lads revisit some of the best stories from the series so far, including Joey Page’s hellish trip to Madrid, Charlie Baker’s Babacombe Model Village campaign, Terry Alderton’s unbelievable Marc Bosnich story, and the ongoing mystery of why Mark Bosnich was also spotted tenpin bowling on his own. There’s also football espionage, cancelled playoff finals, fake COVID inspectors, terrible hangovers, playoff heartbreak, and the emotional damage caused by loving football clubs. A fittingly rambling end to another season of Away Days. ⁠Please do buy us a coffee ⁠to help the podcast grow. WhatsApp us on +44 7457 404279 Follow us on socials: Twitter Facebook Instagram TikTok Bluesky Hosts - Chris "Woody" Wood and Piers Hewitt Producer - Will Nichols Production Company - Lock It In Studio Artwork - Stuart Byford, David Shields, Charlie Thomas Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Follow Please Don’t Take Me Home: Instagram TikTok X/Twitter Facebook Email: pdtmhpod@gmail.com Hosted by Piers Hewitt and Jim Daly Music by Chris 'Woody' Wood Produced by Will Nichols A Lock It In Studio production Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S2 · E34
May 13 · 1 hr 6 min
Jon Beer - Is this the bleakest away day of all time?
This week, Woody and Piers are joined by Jon Beer, Exeter City fan and co-host of You Don’t Know What You’re Doing, for one of the bleakest away day stories the show has ever heard. There’s plenty on lower-league obsession, Devon derby anxiety, Ollie Watkins pride, fan-owned football, why nobody needs a “Prem team”, and the strange burden of caring far too much about 11 men in shorts. Jon also explains why his family once travelled to Wembley during Covid to watch Exeter lose a play-off final on a laptop outside the stadium. A truly heroic low point. ⁠Please do buy us a Coffee ⁠to help the podcast grow. WhatsApp us on +44 7457 404279 Follow us on socials: Twitter Facebook Instagram TikTok Bluesky Hosts - Chris "Woody" Wood and Piers Hewitt Producer - Will Nichols Production Company - Lock It In Studio Artwork - Stuart Byford, David Shields, Charlie Thomas Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Follow Please Don’t Take Me Home: Instagram TikTok X/Twitter Facebook Email: pdtmhpod@gmail.com Hosted by Piers Hewitt and Jim Daly Music by Chris 'Woody' Wood Produced by Will Nichols A Lock It In Studio production Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S2 · E33
May 6 · 1 hr 1 min
From the San Siro to Penrith - Felix White (Part Two)
Felix White returns for part two, taking Woody and Piers from the San Siro’s terrifyingly organised ultras to Penrith’s very accommodating chairman, via MK Dons vs AFC Wimbledon, FA Cup romance, away goals, train etiquette, service station literature and why being a Fulham fan feels very different to being a cricket fan. There’s also playoff heartbreak for Piers, end-of-season maths for Woody, a cow-based football injury, David Platt appreciation, and a question every football fan needs to worry about: home games or away days forever? Get Felix's incredible book here ⁠Please do buy us a coffee ⁠to help the podcast grow. WhatsApp us on +44 7457 404279 Follow us on socials: Twitter Facebook Instagram TikTok Bluesky Hosts - Chris "Woody" Wood and Piers Hewitt Producer - Will Nichols Production Company - Lock It In Studio Artwork - Stuart Byford, David Shields, Charlie Thomas Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Follow Please Don’t Take Me Home: Instagram TikTok X/Twitter Facebook Email: pdtmhpod@gmail.com Hosted by Piers Hewitt and Jim Daly Music by Chris 'Woody' Wood Produced by Will Nichols A Lock It In Studio production Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S2 · E32
April 29 · 55 min
Felix White Hates Man United, Loves Fulham (Part One)
Felix White joins Woody and Piers for Part 1 of a brilliant chat about Fulham, first away days, Craven Cottage, the strange comfort of supporting a club that lets you suffer properly, and why football can explain who you are before you’ve even worked it out yourself. Before that, Piers is deep in playoff anxiety, Woody is doing mathematical gymnastics, and the boys relive the chaos, limbs and full-body drama of Rochdale v York City, possibly the greatest away day of all time. Part 2 with Felix continues next week. ⁠Please do buy us a coffee to help the podcast grow. WhatsApp us on +44 7457 404279 Follow us on socials: Twitter Facebook Instagram TikTok Bluesky Hosts - Chris "Woody" Wood and Piers Hewitt Producer - Will Nichols Production Company - Lock It In Studio Artwork - Stuart Byford, David Shields, Charlie Thomas Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Follow Please Don’t Take Me Home: Instagram TikTok X/Twitter Facebook Email: pdtmhpod@gmail.com Hosted by Piers Hewitt and Jim Daly Music by Chris 'Woody' Wood Produced by Will Nichols A Lock It In Studio production Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S2 · E31
April 22 · 58 min
The A to Z of Away Days - J - St Johnstone, Juventus and Jamshedpur
This week, Piers and Woody take the letter J to some very interesting places. First up it is St Johnstone, where the chat includes Perth, purpose-built stadiums, questionable celebrity fans and the sort of away day logistics that can make or break a Scottish football weekend. Then it is on to Turin and Juventus, with grand history, glamour, Notts County roots, and the very real possibility of Piers accidentally planning an Italian minibreak entirely around pasta classes and Irish pubs. And then things head to India. Thanks to former player Peter Hartley, the lads get a glimpse into life at Jamshedpur, where football is huge, the crowds are massive, and the local wildlife seems fully committed to ruining your sleep. Geckos in wardrobes, ants on Dairy Milk and giant snakes make this one of the weirdest and most entertaining Away Days detours yet. ⁠Please do buy us a coffee ⁠to help the podcast grow. WhatsApp us on +44 7457 404279 Follow us on socials: Twitter Facebook Instagram TikTok Bluesky Hosts - Chris "Woody" Wood and Piers Hewitt Producer - Will Nichols Production Company - Lock It In Studio Artwork - Stuart Byford, David Shields, Charlie Thomas Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Follow Please Don’t Take Me Home: Instagram TikTok X/Twitter Facebook Email: pdtmhpod@gmail.com Hosted by Piers Hewitt and Jim Daly Music by Chris 'Woody' Wood Produced by Will Nichols A Lock It In Studio production Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S2 · E30
April 15 · 1 hr 5 min
Is the Emirates full of hot air? With James Gardner
Comedian and Celtic fan James Gardner joins Woody and Piers to share his love for the SPL, disdain for Arsenal's lack of atmosphere (and it's hot air policy) and talks about the time he completed away days. Follow James on Instagram here ⁠Please do buy us a coffee ⁠to help the podcast grow. WhatsApp us on +44 7457 404279 Follow us on socials: Twitter Facebook Instagram TikTok Bluesky Hosts - Chris "Woody" Wood and Piers Hewitt Producer - Will Nichols Production Company - Lock It In Studio Artwork - Stuart Byford, David Shields, Charlie Thomas Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Follow Please Don’t Take Me Home: Instagram TikTok X/Twitter Facebook Email: pdtmhpod@gmail.com Hosted by Piers Hewitt and Jim Daly Music by Chris 'Woody' Wood Produced by Will Nichols A Lock It In Studio production Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S2 · E29
April 8 · 57 min
From Bedford to United with Matt Donnelly (Don Broco)
Woody and Piers are joined by fellow drummer, Matt Donnelly, from Don Broco. Matt is a Bedford born Manchester United fan, but don't let that put you off! The episode is still full of fun stories from Coventry to LA. Enjoy! ⁠Please do buy us a coffee⁠to help the podcast grow. Follow us on socials: Twitter Facebook Instagram TikTok Bluesky Hosts - Chris "Woody" Wood and Piers Hewitt Producer - Will Nichols Production Company - Lock It In Studio Artwork - Stuart Byford, David Shields, Charlie Thomas Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Follow Please Don’t Take Me Home: Instagram TikTok X/Twitter Facebook Email: pdtmhpod@gmail.com Hosted by Piers Hewitt and Jim Daly Music by Chris 'Woody' Wood Produced by Will Nichols A Lock It In Studio production Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S2 · E28
April 1 · 1 hr 3 min
The A to Z of Away Days - I - Inter, Ipswich and Inverness
Woody and Piers jump back on their alphabetical away days journey, this time taking on Inter Milan, Ipswich Town (with help from Ed from The Editors) and Inverness & Caledonian Thistle. ⁠Please do buy us a coffee ⁠to help the podcast grow. WhatsApp us on +44 7457 404279 Follow us on socials: Twitter Facebook Instagram TikTok Bluesky Hosts - Chris "Woody" Wood and Piers Hewitt Producer - Will Nichols Production Company - Lock It In Studio Artwork - Stuart Byford, David Shields, Charlie Thomas Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Follow Please Don’t Take Me Home: Instagram TikTok X/Twitter Facebook Email: pdtmhpod@gmail.com Hosted by Piers Hewitt and Jim Daly Music by Chris 'Woody' Wood Produced by Will Nichols A Lock It In Studio production Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S2 · E27
March 25 · 51 min
Taking your foreign exchange student to Stockport - Jim Daly (Part Two)
It's part two of our Palace love in with the wonderful Jim Daly! Check out https://www.jimdalycomedy.com/ for all things Jim. ⁠Please do buy us a Coffee ⁠to help the podcast grow. Follow us on socials: Twitter Facebook Instagram TikTok Bluesky Hosts - Chris "Woody" Wood and Piers Hewitt Producer - Will Nichols Production Company - Lock It In Studio Artwork - Stuart Byford, David Shields, Charlie Thomas Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Follow Please Don’t Take Me Home: Instagram TikTok X/Twitter Facebook Email: pdtmhpod@gmail.com Hosted by Piers Hewitt and Jim Daly Music by Chris 'Woody' Wood Produced by Will Nichols A Lock It In Studio production Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S2 · E26
March 18 · 45 min
Scarf swapping with Jim Daly (Part One)
Stand up, podcast host, all-round-good-guy and Palace fan Jim Daly joins Woody and Piers for part one of this bumper episode of Away Days. With Palace riding the European wave right now, Jim is living his best away day life, swapping scarves (or trying to) with the best of Europe. He's also got some stories from the mean streets of Chesham, and a very impressive knowledge of the Spice Girls' football preferences. ⁠Please do buy us a Bovril ⁠to help the podcast grow. Follow us on socials: Twitter Facebook Instagram TikTok Bluesky Hosts - Chris "Woody" Wood and Piers Hewitt Producer - Will Nichols Production Company - Lock It In Studio Artwork - Stuart Byford, David Shields, Charlie Thomas Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Follow Please Don’t Take Me Home: Instagram TikTok X/Twitter Facebook Email: pdtmhpod@gmail.com Hosted by Piers Hewitt and Jim Daly Music by Chris 'Woody' Wood Produced by Will Nichols A Lock It In Studio production Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S2 · E25
March 11 · 48 min
The A to Z of Away Days - H - Hereford, Hearts & Hertha Berlin
Woody and Piers are back on the alphabet road trip, this time paying homage to Hereford FC, Hearts and Hertha Berlin. ⁠Please do buy us a Bovril ⁠to help the podcast grow. Follow us on socials: Twitter Facebook Instagram TikTok Bluesky Hosts - Chris "Woody" Wood and Piers Hewitt Producer - Will Nichols Production Company - Lock It In Studio Artwork - Stuart Byford, David Shields, Charlie Thomas Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Follow Please Don’t Take Me Home: Instagram TikTok X/Twitter Facebook Email: pdtmhpod@gmail.com Hosted by Piers Hewitt and Jim Daly Music by Chris 'Woody' Wood Produced by Will Nichols A Lock It In Studio production Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S2 · E24
March 4 · 1 hr 9 min
Return of the Mac, an FA Cup Special with Ross from The 1975
Ross MacDonald from The 1975 returns to the podcast to talk about Macclesfield’s remarkable FA Cup run this season. Ross was there for the huge win against holders Crystal Palace, and he relives the atmosphere, the euphoria and what the cup run has meant for the club and its supporters. He also chats to Piers and Woody about an epic charity cycle ride he has coming up and plenty more besides. Click here to sponsor Ross ⁠Please do buy us a Bovril ⁠to help the podcast grow. Follow us on socials: Twitter Facebook Instagram TikTok Bluesky Hosts - Chris "Woody" Wood and Piers Hewitt Producer - Will Nichols Production Company - Lock It In Studio Artwork - Stuart Byford, David Shields, Charlie Thomas Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Follow Please Don’t Take Me Home: Instagram TikTok X/Twitter Facebook Email: pdtmhpod@gmail.com Hosted by Piers Hewitt and Jim Daly Music by Chris 'Woody' Wood Produced by Will Nichols A Lock It In Studio production Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
S2 · E22
February 18 · 1 hr 5 min
Playing cricket with Spider-Man, with Barnaby Slater
This week, comedian, writer and football content creator Barnaby Slater joins Piers and Woody for a chat. Barnaby talks about supporting Tottenham, a memorable trip to Florence, how the under 11s game has changed since his playing days, and a cricket tour with Andrew Garfield. He and Piers also bond over a shared love of football VHS tapes, reliving the strange joy of watching goals and gaff compilations. ⁠Please do buy us a Bovril ⁠to help the podcast grow. WhatsApp us on +44 7457 404279 Follow us on socials: Twitter Facebook Instagram TikTok Bluesky Hosts - Chris "Woody" Wood and Piers Hewitt Producer - Will Nichols Production Company - Lock It In Studio Artwork - Stuart Byford, David Shields, Charlie Thomas Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Follow Please Don’t Take Me Home: Instagram TikTok X/Twitter Facebook Email: pdtmhpod@gmail.com Hosted by Piers Hewitt and Jim Daly Music by Chris 'Woody' Wood Produced by Will Nichols A Lock It In Studio production Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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