Health & FitnessSexualitySociety & CultureRelationshipsEducationSelf-Improvement

Permission for Pleasure

Cindy Scharkey

A podcast to educate and equip women with the information and confidence they need to express, experience and enjoy their sexuality. Cindy Scharkey RN, BSN, brings her 35+ years of experience as a healthcare professional to open the doors to healthy conversations about sex. This is a community where you can listen and learn to give yourself permission for pleasure. Visit www.cindyscharkey.com for educational blogs and newsletter.

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24 episodes
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Avg 25 min
English

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S6 · E150
Yesterday · 30 min
Vaginismus: The Storyline in "Thighs Wide Shut"
Vaginismus isn’t often talked about in mainstream conversation, and it certainly doesn’t show up in romance novels. Drawing from her own health journey, Hayley Fleming dives in head first with her debut novel Thighs Wide Shut. In this episode, you’ll learn more about vaginismus through the author's story, her advice to other women, and how to advocate for yourself. Find Hayley on Instagram Mentioned in this episode Pain and Sex Painful sex and pelvic health Stretched out vaginas and other myths Tips from my pelvic floor physical therapist ORDER my Book: Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden JOIN my Newsletter: Good Education for Good Sex FOLLOW on Instagram @cindyscharkey VISIT my website and blog
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S6 · E149
September 23 · 19 min
Hidden Desire Killers in Your Relationship
Do you have a hidden desire killer happening within your relationship? Researcher Dr. Candice Nicole Hargons is back to discuss one of her latest studies about the consequences of replacing partnering with supervising in a relationship. Hear how caretaking and correcting each other can be the enemies of eroticism, and how to fix it. Find Dr. Candice Nicole Hargons Mentioned in this episode Arya use code CS15 How much does frequency matter with Dr. Candice Self-pleasure and women’s wellness with Dr. Candice Talking with a partner about sex 5 questions every couple should answer Sexual communication Communication, Couples and Sex ORDER my Book: Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden JOIN my Newsletter: Good Education for Good Sex FOLLOW on Instagram @cindyscharkey VISIT my website and blog
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S6 · E148
September 9 · 39 min
How Your Attachment Style Influences Your Sex Life
Do you experience a dynamic of push-and-pull in your relationship? Or a cycle of one partner pursuing sex and one partner withdrawing? These common scenarios are explained by my guest Laurie Watson, PhD, a leading expert in sexual attachment. She shares how your attachment style affects your sexual relationship, including how to work toward a secure attachment for great sex. As Laurie says, “Great sex isn’t about technique, but about attunement.” Laurie’s Love and Sex Quiz Brave Love Great Sex More on these topics: Keeping it hot in long term relationships Practices for positive relationships Sexual communication Want better sex? Ask yourself these questions Five questions for couples Why don't I want sex as much as my partner ORDER my Book: Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden JOIN my Newsletter: Good Education for Good Sex FOLLOW on Instagram @cindyscharkey VISIT my website and blog
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S6 · E147
August 26 · 34 min
Own Your Pleasure
Many people don’t take ownership of their own pleasure. Whether you don’t feel deserving, feel like it’s a partner’s responsibility, were taught it’s selfish, or just never thought about it in this way - my guest Brooke Bralove wants you to know you deserve pleasure. Join us as we delve into taking ownership of your own pleasure and the steps to get you there. Visit our episode sponsor Uberlube and use discount code CINDY Find Brooke Bralove Mentioned in this episode: Mindfulness with Dr. Lori Brotto What are you saying with your touch with Dr. Sara Nasserzadeh Embracing your desire and sexual agency The pleasure crisis and why good sex matters ORDER my Book: Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden JOIN my Newsletter: Good Education for Good Sex FOLLOW on Instagram @cindyscharkey VISIT my website and blog
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S6 · E146
August 12 · 9 min
Variety is an Aphrodisiac
In long term relationships it’s easy to fall into a sexual routine. When sex becomes boring, it’s hard to stay interested! Listen in to hear how to create minor risks, introduce an element of unpredictability and generate sexual excitement for an enduring sex life. Mentioned in this episode: Affection and Touch How Curiosity Fuels Desire Positions with Props Kink Curious Coital Alignment Technique Vanilla with a Cherry on Top Embracing Your Desire Keeping it Hot in Long Term Relationships ORDER my Book: Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden JOIN my Newsletter: Good Education for Good Sex FOLLOW on Instagram @cindyscharkey VISIT my website and blog
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S6 · E145
July 29 · 39 min
Painful Periods, Pelvic Pain and Endometriosis
Women’s pain is often dismissed, especially pelvic pain and painful periods. Mallory Stuparich MD joins me to talk about endometriosis and how to advocate for yourself. We discuss symptoms, diagnosis, and treatment options for women suffering from what’s often referred to as the “invisible disease.” Find @MalloryStuparichMD on socials Mentioned in this episode: Tips from my pelvic floor therapist Stretched out vaginas and other myths Pelvic health and pelvic pain ORDER my Book: Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden JOIN my Newsletter: Good Education for Good Sex FOLLOW on Instagram @cindyscharkey VISIT my website and blog
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S6 · E144
July 15 · 5 min
Try This Variation on Missionary
Pairing clitoral stimulation with penetrative sex is often the route for more pleasure and orgasms for women. In this episode, learn about a technique called Coital Alignment. This is a variation on the missionary position that incorporates pairing and rocking techniques. Mentioned in this episode: Pleasure techniques on the blog Pleasure techniques episode What you need to know about the clitoris Cliteracy Becoming Cliterate book review ORDER my Book: Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden JOIN my Newsletter: Good Education for Good Sex FOLLOW on Instagram @cindyscharkey VISIT my website and blog
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S6 · E143
July 1 · 26 min
Self-pleasure and Women's Wellness
Pleasure is good for you! Researcher Dr. Candice Nicole Hargons joins me to discuss the data on the wellness benefits of masturbation. Learn some suprising upsides for your sleep, confidence and stress level with the results of this study on self-pleasure and vibrator use. Learn more about Dr. Candice Mentioned in this episode: Dr. Candice in Season Five Masturbation with August McLaughlin Researcher Debby Herbenick on the podcast: Rise in rough sex Why vibrators work for women and how to choose one Community questions: Vibrators, Edging and Anal Sex Natural health benefits of orgasms The pleasure crisis and why good sex matters ORDER my Book: Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden JOIN my Newsletter: Good Education for Good Sex FOLLOW on Instagram @cindyscharkey VISIT my website and blog
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S6 · E142
June 17 · 38 min
Your Erotic Potential and Cervical Orgasms
It’s time to unlock your erotic potential with somatic psychotherapist and sex therapist Carly Mountain. She joins me to talk about her newest book, Untamed Pleasure: Unleash Your True Erotic Nature. Learn about embodied pleasure, why women need relaxed arousal, and how the cervix can be a powerful portal of orgasmic potential. Learn more about Carly Mountain In this episode: Embodiment and pleasure Just how much does frequency matter Keeping it hot in long term relationship Untangling sexual shame Women’s Anatomy of Arousal book review Tips for multiple orgasms ORDER my Book: Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden JOIN my Newsletter: Good Education for Good Sex FOLLOW on Instagram @cindyscharkey VISIT my website and blog
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S6 · E141
June 3 · 8 min
Vanilla Sex with a Cherry on Top
Vanilla sex is loved by many, but for some it can get a little mundane. Have you ever wanted to add a touch of variety? Nothing too crazy or complicated but something to spark curiosity? In this episode I share four easy ideas to add a cherry on top of vanilla sex. Visit our episode sponsor Uberlube and use code CINDY Mentioned in this episode: Ten tips to a better bedroom on the blog Sexify your space episode Guide to lube Using your senses for pleasure Foreplay 101 Turn up the volume on your sex life Positions with props Kink curious Five questions for couples ORDER my Book: Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden JOIN my Newsletter: Good Education for Good Sex FOLLOW on Instagram @cindyscharkey VISIT my website and blog
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S6 · E140
May 20 · 39 min
An Invitation to Real Self-Care
Women often feel burnout from taking care of everyone around them before caring for themselves. The term self-care is trending, but how can we go about doing it? Therapist Jen Hershey joins me to share her perspective, including ideas around alignment and learning to listen to your inner authority. This conversation is an invitation to move through life with more trust, clarity and intention. Learn more about Jen Hershey, LMFT ORDER my Book: Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden JOIN my Newsletter: Good Education for Good Sex FOLLOW on Instagram @cindyscharkey VISIT my website and blog
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S6 · E139
May 6 · 10 min
Finger Techniques
Dial up the heat of arousal using your fingers! Listen in to learn some new techniques including various kinds of pressure, rhythms and motions. Discover broadening, hinting, and different styles of finger touch for increased pleasure. Visit our episode sponsor Uberlube, use code CINDY More on these topics The clitoris is a whole network The clitoral hood The G-spot 24 conversation starters to help you talk about sex with a partner ORDER my Book: Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden JOIN my Newsletter: Good Education for Good Sex FOLLOW on Instagram @cindyscharkey VISIT my website and blog
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S6 · E138
April 22 · 13 min
What Influences Your Arousal
Have you ever been having sex and suddenly your arousal just disappears? From this episode you’ll gain a deeper understanding of how arousal and desire really work, as well as factors that influence it. You’ll also learn three things research shows that long-term couples can do to experience sexual satisfaction as desire changes over time. Mentioned in this episode: Sex on the brain Understanding sexual desire styles Partner sexual desire discrepancies How curiosity fuels desire Reclaim your arousal mindset Community questions: arousal, role play and condoms 3 tips for speeding up arousal ORDER my Book: Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden JOIN my Newsletter: Good Education for Good Sex FOLLOW on Instagram @cindyscharkey VISIT my website and blog
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S6 · E137
April 8 · 10 min
Vibrators: Why They Work and How to Choose One
Vibrators and sex toys don’t have to be scary or overwhelming. And they certainly aren’t bad or taboo. In this episode I walk through why vibrators work for women and how to choose one. I also offer a few communication tips for introducing a toy with a partner. Mentioned in the episode: Clitoral Network blog Pleasure techniques with penetration Maude use code CINDY10 The Clitoris has a hood Megan’s episode about introducing a vibrator Vibrator episode with Dr. Shannon Chavez Vibrators on the blog When a partner wants to try something new Intimate Wellbeing use CINDY15 Dame ORDER my Book: Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden JOIN my Newsletter: Good Education for Good Sex FOLLOW on Instagram @cindyscharkey VISIT my website and blog
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S6 · E136
March 25 · 41 min
Healthy Sexuality After Addiction and Trauma
Vanessa Carlisle, PhD, MFA joins me to talk about their book co-authored with Stephanie Covington called: Awaken Your Sexuality: A Guide to Connection and Intimacy after Addiction and Trauma. We discuss the prevalence and normalization of substances as a pathway to sexual behavior, and how sexual responses can be filtered and affected through this lens. Vanessa also shares how shame can keep us from using our personal power to find intimacy and a satisfying sex life. Learn more about Vanessa Carlisle, PhD, MFA More on this topic: Slow Pleasure with Euphemia Russell Sexual shame with Mathias Roberts Using your senses for pleasure Pleasure after trauma Supporting Survivors ORDER my Book: Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden JOIN my Newsletter: Good Education for Good Sex FOLLOW on Instagram @cindyscharkey VISIT my website and blog
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S6 · E135
March 11 · 12 min
Education and Tips for Multiple Orgasms
Did you know it’s possible to have more than one orgasm in a single sexual session? In this episode we discuss how women can experience multiple orgasms including techniques to explore for wave after wave of pleasure. Visit our episode sponsor Uberlube with code CINDY Mentioned in this episode: The clitoral network What is edging? A woman's arousal takes more than 5 minutes Different kinds of orgams Level up your pleasure with these 20 orgasms The clitoral hood Vibrators for women Pleasure techniques with penetration Sex and your brain Can men be multi-orgasmic? ORDER my Book: Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden JOIN my Newsletter: Good Education for Good Sex FOLLOW on Instagram @cindyscharkey VISIT my website and blog
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S6 · E134
February 25 · 47 min
Kink Curious with Gigi Engle
Have you ever been curious about kink? If so, this is the perfect conversation for you! Certified Sex and Relationships Psychotherapist, Sex Educator, and Author Gigi Engle joins me to offer a guide to exploring kink and erotic sensation. We discuss popular kinks, power dynamics, impact play and more. Expand your sexual menu with ideas and suggestions to amplify your senses through kinky play. Find Gigi Engle and Kink Curious Mentioned in this episode: Temperature play Toys, fantasy and play in the bedroom Untangling sexual shame Desire discrepancies When one partner's vanilla and the other is 31 flavors Vanilla with a cherry on top When a partner wants to try something new ORDER my Book: Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden JOIN my Newsletter: Good Education for Good Sex FOLLOW on Instagram @cindyscharkey VISIT my website and blog
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S6 · E133
February 11 · 11 min
Five Questions for Couples
Listen in for the five questions to answer with a partner for greater pleasure and discovery. Sexual communication is your key to unlocking boredom, assumptions and resentment in the bedroom. Lean into your curiosity with these questions and discover more intimacy and vibrancy in your sex life. Find the podcast page with all the links ORDER my Book: Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden JOIN my Newsletter: Good Education for Good Sex FOLLOW on Instagram @cindyscharkey VISIT my website and blog
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S6 · E132
January 28 · 37 min
Keeping it Hot in Long-Term Relationships
Want to re-eroticize your long-term relationship and keep the fires burning for the long-haul? Somatic Psychologist, and Sex Therapist Dr. Holly Richmond joins us with expert advice for couples. She gets practical with flirting techniques, understanding your sexual template, and the four things healthy couples do to have a thriving relationship in and out of the bedroom. Dr. Holly Richmond is a licensed marriage and family therapist, certified sex therapist, and holds a PhD in Somatic Psychology, and is the associate director of Modern Sex Therapy Institutes. More on these topics: Pleasure after trauma episode with Holly Reclaiming Pleasure Book Review Partner desire discrepancies Desire styles How much does frequency matter? Erotic personas Erectile dissatisfaction vs Erectile dysfunction Affection and the 6 second kiss ORDER my Book: Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden JOIN my Newsletter: Good Education for Good Sex FOLLOW on Instagram @cindyscharkey VISIT my website and blog
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S6 · E131
January 14 · 44 min
Heated Rivalry’s Intimacy Coordinator Chala Hunter
Take a peek into the role of Intimacy Coordinator for Heated Rivalry, the TV show everyone’s talking about. Chala Hunter shares what an intimacy coordinator’s job is, and how she worked to create comfort and safety on set for the simulated sex scenes, nudity and all things intimacy. We discuss the cast and crew vibe while filming the show, and the intentionality around modeling safe, consensual and pleasurable sex. Learn why Director Jacob Tierney calls Chala, “The hero of this show!” Learn more about Chala Hunter Visit our episode sponsor Uberlube use code CINDY ORDER my Book: Permission for Pleasure: Tending Your Sexual Garden JOIN my Newsletter: Good Education for Good Sex FOLLOW on Instagram @cindyscharkey VISIT my website and blog
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