Mindfully With 'Tunmise

Oluwatunmise Oladapo Kuku

Mindfully with Tunmise, The Podcast is a weekly talk/interview show that seeks to promote mental health awareness by demystifying perceived mysteries surrounding mental health stability. The show features personal stories from Tunmise, who lives with Bipolar II and also collects stories from individuals from all walks of life. The conversations aim to answer questions surrounding mental health myths and promote living mindfully through self-compassion and showing up instead of perfection. The show also features resource experts to provide a balanced explanation to each question raised. The target audience includes young adults, parents, and middle-aged citizens who are struggling with self-esteem, identity conflicts, cultural conflicts, existential questions and resolving relational conflicts. Mindfully with Tunmise. The show's mission is to encourage people to live mindfully, tell their stories, and promote self-compassion. The show's duration is between 30 to 60 minutes per episode, and it can be accessed at all podcast platforms and at www.blackhemages.com

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25 episodes
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Avg 35 min
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S8 · E12
Yesterday · 23 min
When Your Villain Shows Up For A Hug
Send us Fan Mail Someone can scream down a waiting room one day and hug you gently the next and both moments can be true. That uncomfortable whiplash is where this Mindfully With Tunmise story begins: a hospital attendant who once exposed an elderly man’s vulnerability returns four days later to cheers from her colleagues and an unexpected hug for me. My mind wants a clean conclusion, a single label, a simple “that’s who she is.” Life refuses to cooperate. We use that moment to examine first impressions, judgment, and the stories we write too quickly about people. I talk about why “don’t judge people in the chapter you met them” can grate on the nerves when your feelings are real, and why mindfulness is not denial. We explore emotional regulation, empathy, and self-compassion through a more honest question: how do we honour the impact someone had on us without reducing their whole humanity to that moment? I also share how living with a mood disorder can shape the way we scan for worst-case scenarios and wait for the other shoe to drop. Along the way, I invite you into a brief mindful breathing pause, then a mirror-check that stays with you after the audio ends: When have I reduced a person to the moment I met them, and when have I reduced myself to a bad day? If you’ve ever been held hostage by a first impression or you’ve done it to someone else, this reflection offers a calmer, clearer way forward. Subscribe, share with a friend who overthinks like we do, and please leave a rating and review so more mindful partners can find the show. Support the show Follow me Facebook : https://www.facebook.com/tunmise.kuku Instagram : https://www.instagram.com/tunmiseokuku/ https://www.instagram.com/bhmcoaching/ LinkedIn : https://www.linkedin.com/in/tunmise-oladapo-kuku-8a2626b/ Get Living Mindfully: A Journey to Being https://blackhemages.com/living-mindfully/ https://chat.whatsapp.com/BFAJsSrOui17Po8tvmMoPe Website: https://blackhemages.com/ b45eeaafa11188b421daa26f6eb85da5596dbf11 Love Yourself; Love Your Neighbour; Love Your Country: Above all of these Love God He's the essence of Your Being. #tdk
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S8 · E11
September 15 · 1 hr 1 min
Leading From Inner Alignment
Send us Fan Mail “How are you” is a leadership question, not small talk, and we start there with a breath that helps the body catch up to the pace of the mind. Then we sit down with Adeolu Adewumi -ZER founder of ZER Consulting AFRICA and a lifelong Afro-optimist, to talk about what happens when excellence, identity, and responsibility collide with the quiet truth of what you actually need. We get into inner alignment as a practical tool for decision making. Adeolu shares how her North Star shaped everything from moving across countries to returning to Nigeria after decades abroad, and why pride in culture matters when a nation is tempted to narrate itself with defeat. We also unpack the first-daughter “good girl” conditioning, people pleasing, and the moment boundaries become non-negotiable. If you have ever wondered whether you’re chasing a goal because you want it or because achievement feels like your only safe identity, you’ll feel seen here. The conversation turns to the hidden tension many high-achieving married women manage, and why leaving a prestigious corporate role can be an act of clarity. Adeolu explains the leap into entrepreneurship and what ZER Consulting AFRICA does for african business growth and leadership development, helping companies scale from $1 million to $100 million through strategy, excellence, leadership, governance, and impact. We close with the real-life habits that make sustainable leadership possible, including her Friday night Netflix and chocolate reset, and why mindfulness matters in Nigeria’s cultural transition. Subscribe so you do not miss what comes next, share this with a friend who needs a North Star, and leave a review if the conversation helps you lead with more honesty and less noise. Support the show Follow me Facebook : https://www.facebook.com/tunmise.kuku Instagram : https://www.instagram.com/tunmiseokuku/ https://www.instagram.com/bhmcoaching/ LinkedIn : https://www.linkedin.com/in/tunmise-oladapo-kuku-8a2626b/ Get Living Mindfully: A Journey to Being https://blackhemages.com/living-mindfully/ https://chat.whatsapp.com/BFAJsSrOui17Po8tvmMoPe Website: https://blackhemages.com/ b45eeaafa11188b421daa26f6eb85da5596dbf11 Love Yourself; Love Your Neighbour; Love Your Country: Above all of these Love God He's the essence of Your Being. #tdk
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S8 · E10
September 8 · 38 min
Dignity In Vulnerability
Send us Fan Mail Someone’s private pain got shouted across a hospital waiting room, and I couldn’t stop thinking about what that does to a person’s dignity. That moment turns into a bigger question about men’s mental health: when vulnerability is exposed, mocked, or “managed” by other people, where is a man supposed to put his fear, grief, and uncertainty safely? We start gently, with an arrival practice that brings you back into your body through a shoulder release and belly breathing, because mindfulness is not a performance. From there, I tell the waiting room story and the uncomfortable truth behind it: sarcastic humour often shows up when someone is trying to survive shame. We unpack the social training many men grow up with “be strong, provide, protect, figure it out” and why the real crisis may be that many men were never taught the language of vulnerability, only the skill of endurance. Then we walk with Jabez and the meaning of names, identity, and beginnings. The Prayer of Jabez hits differently when you notice the line “keep me from pain” and when you see honour sitting beside a painful origin story. I connect that to Fight for Life and to the everyday courage of saying, “this hurts,” “I’m scared,” and “I need help,” without losing dignity. If this resonates, listen through, share it with someone you love, and subscribe so you don’t miss what we unpack next. After you listen, leave a review and tell us: what would it take for vulnerability to feel safe in your life? Support the show Follow me Facebook : https://www.facebook.com/tunmise.kuku Instagram : https://www.instagram.com/tunmiseokuku/ https://www.instagram.com/bhmcoaching/ LinkedIn : https://www.linkedin.com/in/tunmise-oladapo-kuku-8a2626b/ Get Living Mindfully: A Journey to Being https://blackhemages.com/living-mindfully/ https://chat.whatsapp.com/BFAJsSrOui17Po8tvmMoPe Website: https://blackhemages.com/ b45eeaafa11188b421daa26f6eb85da5596dbf11 Love Yourself; Love Your Neighbour; Love Your Country: Above all of these Love God He's the essence of Your Being. #tdk
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S8 · E9
September 1 · 51 min
Walking Through The Empty Season
Send us Fan Mail Grief has a way of shrinking your identity until the worst thing that happened becomes the loudest thing about you. We start there, with Naomi returning home after famine and loss, refusing her old name and choosing “Mara” because bitterness feels more honest than pretending. From that raw place, we widen the lens: mental health and faith belong in the same sentence, not as a slogan, but as a real human attempt to make sense of abandonment, anger, denial, addiction, and the family systems that shape how we cope. Then we talk about the empty season and why “nothing is happening” is often untrue. I use fermentation and bread as a metaphor for invisible growth: the days when the jar looks still, the first rise when dough seems unchanged, the second rise, and even the oven heat that feels like punishment but is actually part of becoming. If you’re measuring your life by productivity, numbers, or visible results, this is a gentle but direct reframe for emotional resilience, mindfulness, and Christian spiritual formation. Ruth, Orpah, and Naomi help us ask a harder question: what does loyalty look like when it’s freely chosen? Orpah’s decision to return is not automatically failure, and Ruth’s decision to stay is not self erasure. Agency is the hinge. From there, we step into Ruth and Boaz as a model of safe love with boundaries, dignity, and process, and we name a truth many of us need: healing does not delete the past, it simply makes the pain one part of a much larger story. We also share a quick note about Fight for Life, our men’s mental health conference focused on financial intelligence and emotional intelligence to help reduce suicide among men. If this conversation steadies you, subscribe, share it with someone in an empty season, and leave a review so more people can find it. Support the show Follow me Facebook : https://www.facebook.com/tunmise.kuku Instagram : https://www.instagram.com/tunmiseokuku/ https://www.instagram.com/bhmcoaching/ LinkedIn : https://www.linkedin.com/in/tunmise-oladapo-kuku-8a2626b/ Get Living Mindfully: A Journey to Being https://blackhemages.com/living-mindfully/ https://chat.whatsapp.com/BFAJsSrOui17Po8tvmMoPe Website: https://blackhemages.com/ b45eeaafa11188b421daa26f6eb85da5596dbf11 Love Yourself; Love Your Neighbour; Love Your Country: Above all of these Love God He's the essence of Your Being. #tdk
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S8 · E8
August 25 · 46 min
What If Your Survival Story Is Not You
Send us Fan Mail Something feels off lately: people are quicker to snap, slower to trust, and tired in a way sleep can’t fix. I sit with that feeling out loud and ask whether we’re still carrying COVID-era survival mode without realising it, hoarding not just food and money but emotional energy too. If you’ve felt more triggered, more cynical, or strangely guarded, you’re not alone and you’re not “broken” for it. From there, I go back to what I always return to in healing work: stories of origin. Family systems pass things down with frightening efficiency, including the parts we swear we’ll never repeat. I talk about inherited pride and “vexation,” the way vulnerability can become dangerous in certain homes, and how we can reject a person yet keep the pattern. This is mindful living with honesty: looking back as research, not as self-attack. Then we sit with Joseph. Not the polished highlight reel, but the human process of becoming. Joseph is favoured and still betrayed, privileged and still forced to grow up in a new environment. I connect that to my own “Egypts” from school to heartbreak to a hard workplace season, including what it taught me about approval addiction, integrity, boundaries, and learning to carry the truth in a way that’s actually useful. We land on mindful leaving: asking what you’re carrying, why you’re carrying it, whether it still serves you, and what it might look like to put it down. If any part of this resonates, subscribe, share the episode with someone who needs it, and leave a review so more people can find the show. What’s one inherited pattern you’re ready to transform? Support the show Follow me Facebook : https://www.facebook.com/tunmise.kuku Instagram : https://www.instagram.com/tunmiseokuku/ https://www.instagram.com/bhmcoaching/ LinkedIn : https://www.linkedin.com/in/tunmise-oladapo-kuku-8a2626b/ Get Living Mindfully: A Journey to Being https://blackhemages.com/living-mindfully/ https://chat.whatsapp.com/BFAJsSrOui17Po8tvmMoPe Website: https://blackhemages.com/ b45eeaafa11188b421daa26f6eb85da5596dbf11 Love Yourself; Love Your Neighbour; Love Your Country: Above all of these Love God He's the essence of Your Being. #tdk
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S8 · E7
August 18 · 32 min
A Brother’s Faith And The Questions That Follow
Send us Fan Mail How do you keep living when the answer never comes? We start with a question that is easy to dodge and hard to sit with: how are you, really. Then we slow down, breathe, and make room for the truth that being triggered doesn’t mean you’re failing. Sometimes it’s simply a wound saying, “I’m still here,” and compassion is where healing begins. I introduce you to my little brother, Yanolua, as a full person before illness tries to rename him. He dreams of broadcasting, he keeps believing even when life is unkind, and he carries a kind of faith that both comforts and confuses me. When systemic lupus erythematosus (SLE), an autoimmune disease, enters our story, it changes the body, the family, and the future. You’ll also hear two powerful journal entries read in his voice, words that hold pain, mystery, rescue, and the longing for a solid foundation. From there, the conversation widens to my own body and my own questions after major surgeries, especially the anger behind “but I did everything right.” We talk about family health inheritance, chronic illness, grief, and the pressure to find a culprit. A moment from John chapter 9 pushes back on blame and shame, reminding us that suffering doesn’t always come with a simple reason, and a human being is never just a punishment. We end with an invitation I’m still learning to obey: stop turning your pain into a courtroom, and go live anyway. If this moved something tender in you, listen through, share it with someone who needs it, and subscribe for more. Rate and review the show, and send us a message with what came up for you. Support the show Follow me Facebook : https://www.facebook.com/tunmise.kuku Instagram : https://www.instagram.com/tunmiseokuku/ https://www.instagram.com/bhmcoaching/ LinkedIn : https://www.linkedin.com/in/tunmise-oladapo-kuku-8a2626b/ Get Living Mindfully: A Journey to Being https://blackhemages.com/living-mindfully/ https://chat.whatsapp.com/BFAJsSrOui17Po8tvmMoPe Website: https://blackhemages.com/ b45eeaafa11188b421daa26f6eb85da5596dbf11 Love Yourself; Love Your Neighbour; Love Your Country: Above all of these Love God He's the essence of Your Being. #tdk
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S8 · E6
August 11 · 42 min
Staying Yourself In Babylon
Send us Fan Mail The world can rename you without ever touching your birth certificate. It can do it through praise you start chasing, criticism you start believing, trauma you didn’t ask for, or a culture that rewards you most when you feel yourself the least. So we start somewhere simple and brave: I ask “How are you, really?” and we slow down enough to answer with honesty, breath, and a body that has been holding more than it admits. From there, we move into identity, not the identity on application forms, but the quiet self that shows up when your values collide with the environment around you. I reflect on Daniel in Babylon, where the pressure to assimilate doesn’t begin with obvious harm, but with opportunity, training, and subtle renaming. We talk about the labels we carry that were never ours to keep, the cost of belonging that feels conditional, and the moment Daniel “resolved” before the miracles, before the lions, before the spotlight. We also name the modern Babylons that whisper instead of shout: approval, productivity, perfection, people pleasing, and the exhausting urge to be understood by everyone. I share the difference between stubbornness and resolve, why solitude can be reunion rather than loneliness, and why healing is not always an exit. Sometimes the win is staying yourself right where you are, keeping your center while you live, love, and serve in the real world. If this conversation gives you language for what you’ve been feeling, subscribe, rate the show, and share it with someone you love. Then send us a message from the link in the show notes: how are you, really? Support the show Follow me Facebook : https://www.facebook.com/tunmise.kuku Instagram : https://www.instagram.com/tunmiseokuku/ https://www.instagram.com/bhmcoaching/ LinkedIn : https://www.linkedin.com/in/tunmise-oladapo-kuku-8a2626b/ Get Living Mindfully: A Journey to Being https://blackhemages.com/living-mindfully/ https://chat.whatsapp.com/BFAJsSrOui17Po8tvmMoPe Website: https://blackhemages.com/ b45eeaafa11188b421daa26f6eb85da5596dbf11 Love Yourself; Love Your Neighbour; Love Your Country: Above all of these Love God He's the essence of Your Being. #tdk
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S8 · E5
August 4 · 27 min
Living Without Neat Answers While You Wait
Send us Fan Mail How do you live when life refuses to make sense and the answers never arrive on time? We start with a simple question that can change the whole day: “How are you… really?” Not the polite version, the honest one. Then we slow down, soften our shoulders, breathe, and practice mindfulness as a way to come home to ourselves when we feel tempted to hide. We also celebrate three years of this podcast as more than content: a shared healing journey built on showing up, even through silence, surgery, and seasons when surviving takes more energy than speaking. I reflect on what I expected at the beginning versus what actually happened, including the surprising truth that this space has been healing me too. If you care about mental health, emotional resilience, and faith that can hold complexity, you’ll feel the heartbeat of this conversation. From there we walk with Sarah, not to defend her or judge her, but to keep her company. We explore the grief of waiting, the pain of holding a promise without evidence, and what it might have felt like when Hagar became pregnant. Instead of tying the story into a neat bow, we honour the silence in the text and the messiness in the human heart. That leads to a deeper takeaway: safety is not always found in certainty. Sometimes safety is found in capacity, the ability to hold joy and grief, faith and questions, hope and disappointment, love and hurt, and still keep walking. If this resonates, share it with someone who needs permission to be human while they wait, follow the show wherever you listen, and leave a review so more people can find mindful living that’s honest and grounded. What’s one place in your life where you’re demanding certainty when you might be invited into capacity? Support the show Follow me Facebook : https://www.facebook.com/tunmise.kuku Instagram : https://www.instagram.com/tunmiseokuku/ https://www.instagram.com/bhmcoaching/ LinkedIn : https://www.linkedin.com/in/tunmise-oladapo-kuku-8a2626b/ Get Living Mindfully: A Journey to Being https://blackhemages.com/living-mindfully/ https://chat.whatsapp.com/BFAJsSrOui17Po8tvmMoPe Website: https://blackhemages.com/ b45eeaafa11188b421daa26f6eb85da5596dbf11 Love Yourself; Love Your Neighbour; Love Your Country: Above all of these Love God He's the essence of Your Being. #tdk
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S8 · E4
July 28 · 21 min
I Memorised The Script Then Cried
Send us Fan Mail You can be “doing everything right” and still feel hollow inside. That’s the quiet cost of approval addiction: the constant performing, the overthinking, the perfectionism that looks like excellence from the outside but feels like panic on the inside. We start with a grounded check-in and a short breath and body release, because healing is not a speech, it’s a practice. Then we trace how our relationship with “what if” thinking can turn into negotiating with history, replaying old scenes when what we really want is to matter. From there, we name the pattern clearly: the need to be accepted, liked, and chosen can become an identity, shaping how we speak, how we work, and how we show up in relationships. I share a story from my first day on radio, when I memorised a script and still hesitated because it didn’t feel perfect, and how a simple compliment made me cry because it felt like being seen. We also sit with Jacob’s story and the question of what we inherit from family systems where love feels divided and comparison becomes normal. At the river Jabbok, the mask drops and the wrestling begins, a picture of healing that doesn’t always look like winning, but does look like honesty. We close with a gentle, direct question you can carry into your week: Where in my life am I still performing in hope of being accepted? If this resonated, share it with someone who needs permission to breathe, and please follow, rate, and review the show so more people can find these conversations. Support the show Follow me Facebook : https://www.facebook.com/tunmise.kuku Instagram : https://www.instagram.com/tunmiseokuku/ https://www.instagram.com/bhmcoaching/ LinkedIn : https://www.linkedin.com/in/tunmise-oladapo-kuku-8a2626b/ Get Living Mindfully: A Journey to Being https://blackhemages.com/living-mindfully/ https://chat.whatsapp.com/BFAJsSrOui17Po8tvmMoPe Website: https://blackhemages.com/ b45eeaafa11188b421daa26f6eb85da5596dbf11 Love Yourself; Love Your Neighbour; Love Your Country: Above all of these Love God He's the essence of Your Being. #tdk
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S8 · E3
July 21 · 19 min
My Inner Child Filed A Formal Complaint
Send us Fan Mail Some pain doesn’t end with a bow, and that doesn’t mean you’re failing. I’m talking about ambiguous grief, also known as ambiguous loss, the kind of grief that lacks closure because something is gone but never really leaves, or something is present but no longer feels available. When I didn’t have language for that, my mind kept trying to solve what only needed to be understood, and it wore me out. I hold that reality up next to the Book of Job, not the highlight reel ending, but the middle where most of us actually live. Job’s world falls apart, his friends show up with confident explanations, and he’s left carrying the weight of questions that don’t cooperate. That tension feels familiar when people narrate our pain better than they understand our experience, even when they mean well. Then I get personal about a longer hypermanic episode that had no clear trigger and no easy loop to close. What surprised me wasn’t an answer, but a voice I hadn’t listened to in years: a younger version of me asking not to be fixed, but to be seen. I share what it looked like to respond with recognition instead of another rushed explanation, and why perspective can bring a different kind of peace even when closure never arrives. If you’ve been searching for a neat reason, consider a gentler question: who inside you is still waiting for acknowledgement? Subscribe, share this with someone who needs a soft landing, and leave a review so more people can find this healing space. Support the show Follow me Facebook : https://www.facebook.com/tunmise.kuku Instagram : https://www.instagram.com/tunmiseokuku/ https://www.instagram.com/bhmcoaching/ LinkedIn : https://www.linkedin.com/in/tunmise-oladapo-kuku-8a2626b/ Get Living Mindfully: A Journey to Being https://blackhemages.com/living-mindfully/ https://chat.whatsapp.com/BFAJsSrOui17Po8tvmMoPe Website: https://blackhemages.com/ b45eeaafa11188b421daa26f6eb85da5596dbf11 Love Yourself; Love Your Neighbour; Love Your Country: Above all of these Love God He's the essence of Your Being. #tdk
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S8 · E2
July 14 · 22 min
When Confidence Is A Mask
Send us Fan Mail Confidence isn’t always confidence. Sometimes it’s insecurity with good posture, a steady voice, and years of practice hiding in plain sight. We talk directly to our mindful partners about what it feels like when your inner world is loud, your outer world looks “fine,” and your mental health keeps asking the same questions in new ways. We trace where that quiet insecurity can begin, including a story from radio and the cruel little whisper it leaves behind: “only your voice is beautiful.” From there, we slow the pace with a guided body check, because the body often notices what the mind tries to edit. We sit with the uncomfortable truth that evidence can bring closure without bringing change, and that masks can become normal especially when social media rewards the polished version of us. Faith shows up as a mirror, not a performance. The story of Gideon becomes a companion for anyone who feels unqualified, afraid, or “not enough,” and we explore why honest questions can be more transformative than perfect certainty. We also name the inner sentences that trap us, including the way anxiety can sound like wisdom, and we land on a surprising reframe: healing can feel like subtraction less certainty, less performance, less masking until you find the part of you that can actually fight. If something speaks to you here, subscribe, share this with someone you love, and leave a review so more people can find the conversation. What story have you repeated so often it now sounds like your own voice? Support the show Follow me Facebook : https://www.facebook.com/tunmise.kuku Instagram : https://www.instagram.com/tunmiseokuku/ https://www.instagram.com/bhmcoaching/ LinkedIn : https://www.linkedin.com/in/tunmise-oladapo-kuku-8a2626b/ Get Living Mindfully: A Journey to Being https://blackhemages.com/living-mindfully/ https://chat.whatsapp.com/BFAJsSrOui17Po8tvmMoPe Website: https://blackhemages.com/ b45eeaafa11188b421daa26f6eb85da5596dbf11 Love Yourself; Love Your Neighbour; Love Your Country: Above all of these Love God He's the essence of Your Being. #tdk
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S8 · E1
July 7 · 23 min
My Inner Narrator Could Use A Nap
Send us Fan Mail The loudest voice in your life might be the one nobody else can hear. We’re talking about personal dialogue the inner self-talk that shapes your mental health, your relationships, and the choices you make when life gets heavy. I’m not asking you to borrow my map of healing. I’m unfolding mine, so you can recognise your own patterns and start building a language that actually supports you. We start with a hard truth: even a beautiful story of origin can leave you with a script that breaks down the moment “privilege stops working.” When the identity you built around being the helper becomes the reason you can’t ask for help, the real battle is internal. That’s why we dig into self-language the voice your body speaks, the voice your relationships inherit, and the voice you use on yourself when nobody is listening. Then I bring in the Red Sea crossing as a metaphor for healing: not just the miracle, but the long night of wind, fear, and walking forward while old identities still shout behind you. Sometimes faith begins with borrowing courage from the people walking beside you. We pause for a body check-in, because mindfulness and breath are not accessories they’re tools for settling the nervous system so the story can settle too. I also speak openly about living with bipolar II, masking, and what it means to sit with the darkest voices instead of rushing to suppress them. A line from Brianna Wiest shifts the frame: healed doesn’t mean flawless; it means sadness, fear, and grief no longer run the whole conversation. If you’re ready to look at your inner dialogue with more honesty and more compassion, press play, then subscribe, share the episode, and leave a review so more people can find this kind of support. Support the show Follow me Facebook : https://www.facebook.com/tunmise.kuku Instagram : https://www.instagram.com/tunmiseokuku/ https://www.instagram.com/bhmcoaching/ LinkedIn : https://www.linkedin.com/in/tunmise-oladapo-kuku-8a2626b/ Get Living Mindfully: A Journey to Being https://blackhemages.com/living-mindfully/ https://chat.whatsapp.com/BFAJsSrOui17Po8tvmMoPe Website: https://blackhemages.com/ b45eeaafa11188b421daa26f6eb85da5596dbf11 Love Yourself; Love Your Neighbour; Love Your Country: Above all of these Love God He's the essence of Your Being. #tdk
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June 16 · 1 hr 13 min
A Novel That Rewrites Manliness
Send us Fan Mail A man can look “fine” and still be standing on a ledge inside his own mind. That tension sits at the heart of our conversation with author Ulutumbi Ito about his novel My Mrs. Solomon: A Man’s Quest For True Manliness, and why storytelling may be one of the most effective ways to start honest men’s mental health conversations without shame or posturing. We talk about the quiet rules many boys learn early: don’t cry, don’t admit fear, don’t ask for help. Then we follow what those rules can cost over time, especially when abuse happens to boys and the only socially acceptable response is laughter or denial. From emotional silence to suicide risk, we name the patterns that keep men isolated, and we challenge the cultural “alpha male” mirage that insists everything must be perfect. The episode also digs into relationships and recovery. We explore how a supportive partner and a strong friend circle can create the safety a man needs to finally speak, and why many men struggle with emotional vocabulary in the first place. Faith and family show up too: we question what “safety” means, what parental accountability looks like, and how a fresh lens on Peter walking on water reframes courage as the willingness to ask for help. If you care about men’s mental health, healing from trauma, marriage under pressure, parenting with awareness, or building real support systems, press play and sit with us. Subscribe, share this with someone you love, and leave a review so more people can find these conversations. Get a copy here https://selar.com/mymrs Support the show Follow me Facebook : https://www.facebook.com/tunmise.kuku Instagram : https://www.instagram.com/tunmiseokuku/ https://www.instagram.com/bhmcoaching/ LinkedIn : https://www.linkedin.com/in/tunmise-oladapo-kuku-8a2626b/ Get Living Mindfully: A Journey to Being https://blackhemages.com/living-mindfully/ https://chat.whatsapp.com/BFAJsSrOui17Po8tvmMoPe Website: https://blackhemages.com/ b45eeaafa11188b421daa26f6eb85da5596dbf11 Love Yourself; Love Your Neighbour; Love Your Country: Above all of these Love God He's the essence of Your Being. #tdk
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S7 · E17
June 2 · 56 min
You Are Human Before You Are A Man.
Send us Fan Mail The world is loud right now: war, economic stress, nonstop online gender battles, and the quiet feeling that everyone is bracing for impact. So we take a different approach. We pause, breathe, and talk honestly about men’s mental health, not as a trend, but as a survival issue and a relationship issue that touches families, marriages, friendships, and whole communities. My guest, Elishius Olalua, helps me name the thing many men can feel but struggle to explain: a script of strength that gets handed to boys early and enforced later through shame, status, and silence. We unpack what “being strong” is often taught to mean in Nigerian and wider African homes, why vulnerability can feel expensive, and how men end up saying “I’m okay” even when they are overwhelmed. We also explore the hidden cost of tying a man’s worth only to what he provides, and why provision has to include the state of your mind, spirit, and emotional health not just money. We go deeper into emotional literacy: why anger becomes the “allowed” emotion, why many men lack language for what they feel, and what it takes to ask for help without feeling like you’re failing. We end with a grounded takeaway, one reflective question for your journal, and a practical invitation to create safer spaces for boys and men to be fully human. If any part of this resonates, subscribe, share it with someone you care about, and leave a review so more people can find these healing conversations. What would change in your home if men had real permission to feel? Support the show Follow me Facebook : https://www.facebook.com/tunmise.kuku Instagram : https://www.instagram.com/tunmiseokuku/ https://www.instagram.com/bhmcoaching/ LinkedIn : https://www.linkedin.com/in/tunmise-oladapo-kuku-8a2626b/ Get Living Mindfully: A Journey to Being https://blackhemages.com/living-mindfully/ https://chat.whatsapp.com/BFAJsSrOui17Po8tvmMoPe Website: https://blackhemages.com/ b45eeaafa11188b421daa26f6eb85da5596dbf11 Love Yourself; Love Your Neighbour; Love Your Country: Above all of these Love God He's the essence of Your Being. #tdk
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S7 · E16
May 26 · 23 min
Give Me My Flowers
Send us Fan Mail “Give me my flowers while I’m still here” sounds like a clean rule for life, but once you factor in loneliness, shifting relationships, and the masks we wear to survive, it gets complicated fast. We start with a simple mental health frame I keep coming back to: alignment. When your thoughts, emotions, and actions aren’t at war, you feel more grounded. And because language shapes our inner world, reframing common phrases can be a surprisingly powerful mindfulness practice. We talk about why social media can feel so loud, why so many of us crave a seat at the table, and how the most connected generation can still feel painfully alone. I pause for a breath with you and ask the question that can change a lot: whose opinion still steadies you or shakes you, and why? From there, we go into the armor we reach for when we’re afraid, pulling from Brené Brown’s insight that armor, not fear, is what blocks love, connection, and our values. Then we bring it back to “flowers” and relationships. Some people drift with no fight, no drama, just distance, and when loss arrives we remember the beauty more than the gap. We also look at friendship through a lens that challenges the usual definition, including Simon Sinek’s idea that real friends aren’t only there for hard times, they’re the people who can celebrate your good news without making you feel like you’re bragging. We end with reflection questions you can sit with all week and a reminder that sometimes the most mindful move is to give yourself flowers while you learn how to ask for what you need. If it resonates, subscribe, share it with someone you’re walking beside, and leave a review so more people can find these mental health and mindfulness conversations. Support the show Follow me Facebook : https://www.facebook.com/tunmise.kuku Instagram : https://www.instagram.com/tunmiseokuku/ https://www.instagram.com/bhmcoaching/ LinkedIn : https://www.linkedin.com/in/tunmise-oladapo-kuku-8a2626b/ Get Living Mindfully: A Journey to Being https://blackhemages.com/living-mindfully/ https://chat.whatsapp.com/BFAJsSrOui17Po8tvmMoPe Website: https://blackhemages.com/ b45eeaafa11188b421daa26f6eb85da5596dbf11 Love Yourself; Love Your Neighbour; Love Your Country: Above all of these Love God He's the essence of Your Being. #tdk
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S7 · E15
May 19 · 30 min
Taking Responsibility Without Losing Connection
Send us Fan Mail “No one is coming to save you” is supposed to be motivating, but what if it’s also making us lonelier? We start with a simple mindful check-in, soften the body, breathe, and ask the real question beneath the slogan: how are you actually doing right now, and what happens inside you when you hear that line online? I explore the tension between personal responsibility and human connection. Yes, we own our choices, our healing, and our next step. But we’re also living in a time where constant connectivity can hide deep isolation, and where the myth of being “self-made” quietly erases the friends, partners, mentors, and communities that keep us steady. I share a personal story from an earlier podcast attempt that stalled, how fear showed up when it was time to begin again, and how support sometimes “saves” us without rescuing us by doing the work. From there, we get practical and honest about trust and vulnerability. Who is safe? Who do you share your scars with? And how do you ask for help when you’ve learned to do everything alone? We also reflect on friendship as a life-changing force, the kind that reminds you of what’s good in you, and we end with questions you can sit with after the audio ends. If this conversation lands for you, subscribe, share it with someone you trust, and leave a review so more people can find the show. What’s one area of your life where you’re resisting help? Support the show Follow me Facebook : https://www.facebook.com/tunmise.kuku Instagram : https://www.instagram.com/tunmiseokuku/ https://www.instagram.com/bhmcoaching/ LinkedIn : https://www.linkedin.com/in/tunmise-oladapo-kuku-8a2626b/ Get Living Mindfully: A Journey to Being https://blackhemages.com/living-mindfully/ https://chat.whatsapp.com/BFAJsSrOui17Po8tvmMoPe Website: https://blackhemages.com/ b45eeaafa11188b421daa26f6eb85da5596dbf11 Love Yourself; Love Your Neighbour; Love Your Country: Above all of these Love God He's the essence of Your Being. #tdk
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S7 · E14
May 12 · 20 min
Repetition Can Be Real Growth
Send us Fan Mail “Nothing happens in your comfort zone” gets quoted like a law, but I’m not convinced it tells the whole truth. Sometimes the most meaningful growth happens in the quiet, repetitive middle when you keep showing up, keep practicing, and finally start seeing yourself differently. That’s the thread I pull on here, starting with a simple mantra I live by: it’s about showing up, not perfection. I talk through the tension honestly, including what it felt like to stay in one organisation for years and slowly notice that comfort can turn into quiet dissatisfaction. Not dramatic, not rebellious, just that clear internal question: is this still it? From there we explore a more mindful way to think about change, career transitions, and personal growth without turning “leaving” into a badge of honour or “staying” into a shame story. You’ll also hear a quick breathing reset to help you settle, plus two reframes that can change how you treat yourself: “practice makes progress” and the idea of tessitura, a singer’s most comfortable range, not as limitation but as mastery. We end with five reflection questions you can journal with right away, especially if you’re working on self-awareness, mental wellbeing, and learning how to move at your own pace. If this resonates, subscribe, share it with someone who’s wrestling with a transition, and leave a review so more mindful partners can find the show. What’s one place in your life you might be rushing to leave? Support the show Follow me Facebook : https://www.facebook.com/tunmise.kuku Instagram : https://www.instagram.com/tunmiseokuku/ https://www.instagram.com/bhmcoaching/ LinkedIn : https://www.linkedin.com/in/tunmise-oladapo-kuku-8a2626b/ Get Living Mindfully: A Journey to Being https://blackhemages.com/living-mindfully/ https://chat.whatsapp.com/BFAJsSrOui17Po8tvmMoPe Website: https://blackhemages.com/ b45eeaafa11188b421daa26f6eb85da5596dbf11 Love Yourself; Love Your Neighbour; Love Your Country: Above all of these Love God He's the essence of Your Being. #tdk
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S7 · E13
May 5 · 27 min
Why Slowing Down Builds Real Strength
Send us Fan Mail Mindfulness gets mislabeled as soft, fragile, or unrealistic and that misunderstanding keeps a lot of us stuck in speed mode. I’m pushing back on that. Slowing down, choosing stillness, and listening to yourself when everything around you rewards motion can be the truest kind of resilience. We start with a personal turning point: a season of silence that changes how I show up, from constant output to real alignment. From there, we go straight into the tension many of us feel, that quiet resistance to mindful living, and why presence can look like weakness from the outside. I also share a language reframe that has helped my mental health for years: replacing the word “problems” with “questions” so the mind stays open to solutions instead of collapsing into helplessness. Then we touch the nerve that sits underneath so many reactions: vulnerability. Using Brene Brown’s research on uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure, I connect courage to mindfulness in a practical way. You’ll hear two everyday stories, one about responding to a friend who calls me out and another about catching urgency in my body while baking bread, to show how mindful awareness becomes boundaries, agency, and self-respect. If you want journal prompts for stillness, disagreement, and defining resilience for yourself, you’ll leave with clear questions to write through. Subscribe, share this with someone who needs a gentler kind of strength, and leave a review so more people can find the show. Support the show Follow me Facebook : https://www.facebook.com/tunmise.kuku Instagram : https://www.instagram.com/tunmiseokuku/ https://www.instagram.com/bhmcoaching/ LinkedIn : https://www.linkedin.com/in/tunmise-oladapo-kuku-8a2626b/ Get Living Mindfully: A Journey to Being https://blackhemages.com/living-mindfully/ https://chat.whatsapp.com/BFAJsSrOui17Po8tvmMoPe Website: https://blackhemages.com/ b45eeaafa11188b421daa26f6eb85da5596dbf11 Love Yourself; Love Your Neighbour; Love Your Country: Above all of these Love God He's the essence of Your Being. #tdk
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S7 · E12
April 28 · 20 min
The Question That Saved A Life
Send us Fan Mail One late night, I asked a throwaway radio question because I needed something to fill a segment. Months later, a woman called during a Christmas broadcast and told me that question made her pause long enough to choose life. I’ve carried that moment for years, and it changed how I understand the power of words, not as motivation, but as responsibility. We talk about what it means to speak like someone might be listening on their hardest day, because they might be. I share why I never asked her to explain her pain, and how “holding space” can be more healing than investigating. We also get personal about sensitivity, the pull toward cynicism, and what it’s like trying to stay reflective in a hard world while living with bipolar affective disorder. You’ll hear a short guided breathing practice and the mindfulness framework I lean on in my own healing journey: stop, breathe, notice, reflect, respond, and resolve. Then I leave you with the same question that once saved a life and three gentle reflections you can journal with, especially if you’re rebuilding your relationship with yourself, your story, and your mental health. If this helped, subscribe, share it with someone who needs a pause, and leave a review so more listeners can find the series. Support the show Follow me Facebook : https://www.facebook.com/tunmise.kuku Instagram : https://www.instagram.com/tunmiseokuku/ https://www.instagram.com/bhmcoaching/ LinkedIn : https://www.linkedin.com/in/tunmise-oladapo-kuku-8a2626b/ Get Living Mindfully: A Journey to Being https://blackhemages.com/living-mindfully/ https://chat.whatsapp.com/BFAJsSrOui17Po8tvmMoPe Website: https://blackhemages.com/ b45eeaafa11188b421daa26f6eb85da5596dbf11 Love Yourself; Love Your Neighbour; Love Your Country: Above all of these Love God He's the essence of Your Being. #tdk
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S7 · E11
April 21 · 16 min
Permission To Dance Badly And Call It Healing
Send us Fan Mail Healing can sound big and dramatic, but for me it often starts with something small: a pause, a breath, and the courage to stop rushing past the parts of my story that still sting. After last week’s heavy conversation, I wanted to offer a gentler follow-up that still stays honest about death, grief, and the weight we carry, while pointing toward relief. A bookstore moment brought it all into focus for me: the phrase “Healing Is The New High” from Vex King. I didn’t even know what was inside the book yet, but the title felt like a promise I needed to keep close. Life today can feel like a cassette tape on fast forward, too much noise and too many thoughts at once. Mental health conversations are finally everywhere, and that’s good, but I also ask a harder question: are we creating real understanding, or just joining another trend? I keep it simple. Mental well-being is how we navigate everyday stress, emotions, relationships, and even economic pressure. Being mentally whole doesn’t mean life is always pleasant; it means we learn to face both joy and difficulty without losing ourselves in either. From there, I get practical about inner healing as an investment in yourself and the kind of world you want to build. I share two tools that help me: play and journaling. Drawing from Brené Brown, I define play as joy without obligation or outcome and I talk about singing loudly, dancing off beat, and creating small moments of freedom. Then I move into journaling as a self care practice for emotional wellbeing, a place to tell the truth, pray, and track your growth. I also leave you with prompts you can take into your week, because sometimes the question is where healing begins. If this supports you, subscribe, share it with a friend, leave a review, and join the WhatsApp group linked in the show notes. Support the show Follow me Facebook : https://www.facebook.com/tunmise.kuku Instagram : https://www.instagram.com/tunmiseokuku/ https://www.instagram.com/bhmcoaching/ LinkedIn : https://www.linkedin.com/in/tunmise-oladapo-kuku-8a2626b/ Get Living Mindfully: A Journey to Being https://blackhemages.com/living-mindfully/ https://chat.whatsapp.com/BFAJsSrOui17Po8tvmMoPe Website: https://blackhemages.com/ b45eeaafa11188b421daa26f6eb85da5596dbf11 Love Yourself; Love Your Neighbour; Love Your Country: Above all of these Love God He's the essence of Your Being. #tdk
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