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Midlife with Brooke

Brooke Oniki

Midlife with Brooke – All Things Relationship, Health and Emotional Well-being is the go-to podcast for women of faith navigating the messy, beautiful middle years. With gospel-centered tools, real-life stories, and a whole lot of heart, Brooke helps you strengthen your relationship with God, reconnect with yourself, and love your people better—without losing your mind.

If you're ready for more peace, less anxiety, and practical ways to show up with purpose, you’re in the right place.

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S1 · E73
Monday · 31 min
How to be Less Fearful
What if fear only exists in the future? When the thing we're afraid of actually shows up, it stops being a fear and becomes a problem to be solved. And you've solved every problem that has come your way so far. In this episode, Brooke shares why our primitive brain keeps offering us "what ifs," and how our adult brain can step in, calm things down, and remind us that we'll figure it out. She walks through the story of Enoch in Moses 6 and 7, a young man who felt slow of speech and unliked, and who grew into someone whose words moved mountains. She also shares a client who started with a small tiling project and worked her way up to remodeling her whole living room, becoming a different person along the way. In this episode: Why fear resides in the future and problems live in the present The Bible Dictionary line that says God has been teaching us not to fear ever since the Fall Enoch's calling and how his capacity grew as he stepped forward in faith A client's home improvement journey and why real questions come once you begin Learning to ride a bike as a picture of how capacity grows through practice Theodore Roosevelt's "Man in the Arena" quote, shared by Brené Brown in Daring Greatly Brooke's own experience launching a program that nobody signed up for, and choosing to keep going Trusting God with our fears for our children and loved ones A question to consider this week: What's one small thing you could try to move forward, even though it feels scary? Join Brooke's Nervous System Regulation Class Wednesday, October 7, from 12:00 to 2:00 PM Mountain Time, online. Learn what happens in your body when you feel dysregulated and how to bring yourself back to a calm, grounded place so you can respond in ways you feel good about. Come live or get the recording to keep forever. $25. Register at the link below. https://brookeoniki.com/emotional-regulation-workshop/ Share this episode with someone who'd love it, and sign up for my newsletter at brookeoniki.com for more coaching on your relationships with your adult kids, your husband, and yourself.
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S1 · E72
September 21 · 28 min
Scarcity vs. Abundance: A Mindset You Can Practice
Today I'm talking about a topic I bring up with clients all the time: scarcity versus abundance. We live in a world that tells us there's not enough, not enough time, money, love, recognition. But I've found abundance everywhere I look, in a peach tree that keeps producing every year, in free YouTube tutorials, in the way my heart kept growing with each new baby. I share three practices that have helped me live more abundantly: quit keeping score, love whoever comes, and believe there's enough love to go around. I also talk honestly about the times I still feel left out or hurt, and how I work through it. Join me for a live online class on regulating your nervous system on Wednesday, October 7th, noon to 2pm MT. Recording available if you can't make it live. You can register at this link: https://brookeoniki.com/emotional-regulation-workshop/ Share this episode with someone who'd love it, and sign up for my newsletter at brookeoniki.com for more coaching on your relationships with your adult kids, your husband, and yourself.
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S1 · E71
September 14 · 50 min
Ambiguous Loss: The Grief We Don't Have a Name For
In the episode, Lenee Fuelling shares the definition of ambiguous loss and many examples of how it shows up in our lives. She lays out her framework for holding ambiguous loss. Notice and name it — Recognize that what you're feeling is a real, legitimate loss, and normalize it. Ambiguous losses are often hidden or unrecognized, even to ourselves, so just naming them brings them "into the light and into the air." Find space to grieve — Make room to sit with the loss, whether through journaling, reflection, or talking with a trusted friend or community. Grieving is what helps "unstick" things so we can adapt and move forward. Practice both/and thinking — Hold two things at once: sadness and gratitude, grief and love. You can be genuinely sad about a loss while also receiving the good that's still present. Look for new meaning — Ask "what does this mean to me right now?" and recognize that meaning shifts over time. What felt devastating years ago may carry a different meaning today. Discover hope through gratitude for ambiguous gains — Notice what's been gained alongside the loss. Lenee's example: her dad's brain injury caused deep pain, but it also led her to research ambiguous loss and find healing and appreciation for what her family has gone through. Connect with Lenee: Instagram: leneefuel Facebook: Lenee Fuelling Learn More Join my newsletter, book a free session, read the blog, get more free content at: www.brookeoniki.com
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S1 · E70
September 7 · 20 min
Noticing God's Hand in the Ordinary
This week Brooke steps away from teaching to just tell you about her week. A flashing school zone light that shouldn't have been on. A lost boy on the side of the road. A laugh-filled walk with a friend. A pickleball loss that still felt like a win. A chance conversation with a church service missionary. None of it dramatic, but Brooke makes the case that this is exactly where God shows up, if we're watching for it. In this episode: Why instigating relationships, instead of waiting to be asked, opens more doors for connection The nightstand habit that's changed her mornings and evenings The six-second kiss (a concept from researcher John Gottman) and what it does for a marriage Holding joy and disappointment in the same week without one canceling out the other Join Brooke's class on regulating your nervous system, Thursday, September 10th at the South Jordan Community Center. $25. You can register here! https://brookeoniki.com/emotional-regulation-workshop/
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S1 · E69
August 31 · 50 min
The ADHD Brain Isn't Broken, It's Different: An Interview with Kamden Hainsworth
Today I'm talking with Camden Hainsworth, a certified ADHD coach who was diagnosed herself at 36, has children with ADHD, and has spent the last several years helping people understand and work with their ADHD brains instead of fighting them. We talk about what ADHD actually is (it's a difference, not a deficiency), why the nervous system of someone with ADHD can feel like a wobbly skateboard heading downhill, and how that shows up in everyday stress. Camden shares her own diagnosis story, what it was like parenting through burnout before she understood her own brain, and how she coaches parents of grown children with ADHD who want to help without overstepping. We also get into the difference between helping and enabling, what a repair conversation looks like after a blow up, and why autonomy matters so much for someone with an ADHD brain. Camden leaves us with a powerful reframe: ADHD is a disability, and when we understand it that way, we stop expecting someone to just try harder and start building real support around them. If you parent, coach, or love someone with ADHD, whether they're seven or thirty seven, this conversation will give you language and tools you can use right away. In this episode: What actually happens in an ADHD brain under stress The skateboard metaphor for understanding nervous system regulation How to support an adult child with ADHD without taking over their life The difference between helping and enabling What a genuine repair conversation looks like after conflict Why ADHD is best understood as a disability, and why that reframe matters Connect with Camden: Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-busy-brained-saint-podcast/id1647973464 Instagram: @kamden_adhd Website: https://www.kamdenadhdcoaching.com/ Also mentioned in this episode: Join us for my in person class on nervous system regulation, September 10th at the South Jordan Community Center. Link to register https://brookeoniki.com/emotional-regulation-workshop/ Let me know if you'd like a shorter version for social captions, or if you want me to pull a few standalone quote graphics from the conversation.
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S1 · E68
August 24 · 29 min
Lessons From the Men I Teach at the Utah State Prison
Five things I've learned working in the Utah State Prison: People are good. Treating people with respect, even when their problems seem small compared to what they're facing, opens the door to real connection. We are not our worst mistake. That mistake is part of our story, but it doesn't have to define who we are. Extending grace to others helps us move toward our own healing. The inmates who let go of anger toward their parents seem to move forward more easily. We always have the power to choose. Kindness, our language, whether we fight. We don't have to wait for some future date to start living what we value. Real change is about you and your relationship with God, not about convincing other people you've changed. Lasting change comes from wanting to be different, not from proving it to someone else. Also mentioned: Join Brooke for a live in person class on nervous system regulation, Thursday, September 10th at the South Jordan Community Center. $25. You can learn more about it and sign up here: https://brookeoniki.com/emotional-regulation-workshop/
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S1 · E67
August 18 · 21 min
The Mother-in-Law Series: When it's Hard
The Mother-in-Law Series: When It's Hard This is the last episode in my five part series on being a mother-in-law. If you've listened to the other four and felt a wince here or there, this one is for you. Even if things have been hard for a long time, it isn't too late to change. We can't change our daughter-in-law or son-in-law. The only thing we can really work on is ourselves. Here are five places to start. 1. Process your own emotions. Disappointment and hurt don't go away just because we push them aside. Sit with the feeling, journal about it, pray about it. Let yourself actually feel it so it can move through you instead of getting stuck. 2. Revisit the story you're telling yourself. Our brain looks for evidence to prove whatever we already believe. If the story is "we never recovered," our brain will keep finding proof of that. We get to ask if that's still the story we want to tell. 3. Work on emotional regulation. Staying in a regulated nervous system lets us respond with curiosity instead of reacting out of hurt or fear. This is what allows us to stay consistent and warm even when a relationship feels hard. 4. Take an honest look in the mirror. Not to beat ourselves up, but to notice patterns we might not see otherwise. Are we easy to be around? Are we curious about her life? 5. Decide how you want to handle it. Some things we choose to let go of. Some are worth talking through, either directly or with a coach or neutral party first. Either way, check your motives. Are you trying to win, or trying to connect? Mentioned in this episode: Episode 6, "When the Story Hurts, Start With the Facts" Joseph Grenny's quote, Unprocessed emotions don't go away, they go to the basement and lift weights." Announcements: Local class on nervous system regulation, Thursday, September 10th, 7 to 9pm in South Jordan, Utah. $25. You can register at https://buy.stripe.com/5kQeVd7wsfZC4wXdYm2kw0M Retreat in Alta, September 17th through 19th. Brooke is the keynote speaker. $250. Email brooke@brookeoniki.com for details. Share this episode with someone who'd love it, and sign up for my newsletter at brookeoniki.com for more coaching on your relationships with your adult kids, your husband, and yourself.
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S1 · E66
August 10 · 21 min
Episode 65: Mother-in- law series: Creating New Traditions
The Mother-in-Law Series: New Traditions Welcome to week four of the Mother-in-Law Series. If you haven't caught the earlier episodes, go back and start with weddings. And if you're new here, one of the women I interviewed said something I keep coming back to: joining a family is like moving to another country. You don't know the customs, the language, or the traditions. So we get to decide, will we be the friendly local, or border control? This week is about new traditions, and why welcoming someone in means more than folding her into the way things have always been done. In this episode: Seeing a daughter-in-law's arrival as a gain instead of a loss, and how that shifts everything else The Christmas stocking and matching pajamas story: small effort, huge message A mother-in-law with only sons who started making Easter bonnets with her daughters-in-law Holding the purpose of a tradition tightly and the format loosely, including how our Christmas date, our vacations, and even our old scripture study tradition have evolved over the years Releasing the ledger: why things don't have to be even, and why scorekeeping adds stress instead of connection Honoring her family too, including a story about getting to know my son-in-law's family before he and my daughter moved to DC Brookefest, my own tradition of one-on-one time with each of my kids and their spouses, and other ideas for building a relationship that's just between the two of you My question for you this week: what tradition might you need to bend to be more accommodating, and what new one could you start? Next week is the final episode in this series, and it's for anyone whose relationship already feels hard. If that's you, don't miss it. Share this episode with someone who'd love it, and sign up for my newsletter at brookeoniki.com for more coaching on your relationships with your adult kids, your husband, and yourself.
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S1 · E65
August 3 · 23 min
Episode 64: Mother-in-law Series: Service that Helps
The Mother-in-Law Series: Service That Actually Helps Midlife with Brooke, Episode 3 of 5 We are back for week three of the mother-in-law series. We started with weddings, then talked about being the fun aunt instead of another mother. This week is all about service, the kind that actually helps and the kind that (even with the best intentions) can create distance instead of connection. As I was preparing for this episode I interviewed women in their late 20s to early 30s about their mother-in-law relationships, and their stories shaped everything we talk about today. One line has stuck with me through this whole series: joining a new family is like moving to another country. As the mother-in-law we get to decide if we are the friendly local who helps someone acclimate, or border control. In this episode One size doesn't fit all. My mom used to come over and immediately start doing dishes and laundry, asking me where everything went, and my anxiety would spike every time. My sisters loved that same instinct in her. Same mom, same desire to serve, completely different reactions. Help is not received as intended. It is received as it is interpreted. Be mindful about your reasons for helping. I share a story about a client whose daughter in law kept a messy house. She would clean every time she visited, only to come back to a mess again. Eventually we realized the real question was not "how do I get her to keep it clean," it was "am I serving her, or am I trying to make her into someone more comfortable for me." Believe them. If she tells you she does not need help in the kitchen, believe her. If your kids ask you to scale back on Christmas gifts, believe them too. I talk about my own tendency to overbuy and why that usually comes from scarcity, not love. Tell the truth back. Believing them goes both directions. I share a recent moment with my son, where being honest about what would actually help me (instead of just saying yes to watching my granddaughter) built more trust, not less. Do some quiet noticing. Filling up a gas tank. Washing the suitcase full of dirty clothes before the grandkids go home. A text that says "you're doing such a great job." These small, unrequested things often land more than the grand gestures. Honor her boundaries, even the ones that do not make sense to you. I tell the story of a friend who babysits her grandkids full time and gets a long list of rules from her daughter. Her response: if you want a daycare provider, hire one, but I am the grandma, and sometimes we are going to have ice cream for breakfast. Boundaries take honesty on both sides, and they take a regulated nervous system to talk through well. A question to sit with What is one thing I could quietly notice this month to support my daughter in law? Recap One size doesn't fit all Be mindful about your reasons for helping Believe them Be honest when they ask your true feelings Do some quiet noticing Honor boundaries and communicate with love Connect with Brooke Join my newsletter at www.brookeoniki.com/sign-up/
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S1 · E64
July 27 · 24 min
Episode 63: The Mother-in-Law Series: Becoming the Fun Aunt
This is week two of a five part series on our relationship with our daughters-in-law. Last week we talked about weddings. If you missed it, you can go back and listen to that one too! This week is about a shift in how we think about our role. One of my daughters told me an idea that really resonated with me. She said a daughter-in-law isn't looking for another mother. She already has one. What she's looking for is more like a fun aunt. Someone who's interested in her, who enjoys her company, who doesn't carry any expectations. I talk about what that actually looks like. What it means to step back from being the expert on our sons, even when we genuinely think our experience could help. I share a story a friend told me about trying to pass on everything she'd learned about her son's struggles to his new wife, and how that landed differently than she expected. We also get into some real, practical ideas. Texts that feel like support instead of pressure. Small gestures that say I see you as your own person. And a few sweet stories from the young women I interviewed. If you want weekly thoughts like this sent straight to your inbox, head to brookeoniki.com and join my newsletter. It's called Real Moms, Real Talk, and I'd love to have you there.
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S1 · E63
July 20 · 22 min
Episode 62: The Mother-in-Law Series: It Starts at the Wedding
Welcome to the first episode of my Mother-in-Law Series. In preparation, I interviewed women in their mid 20s to early 30s about their mothers-in-law, and one of them said something profound: joining a new family is like moving to another country. You don't know the customs or the language. So we (as the mothers-in-law) get to decide, will I be a friendly local or border control? In this 5 episode series, we're starting with weddings, because that's often where this relationship begins, and where hurt feelings can begin too. I share my own wedding regret: I tried so hard not to burden my mom that she ended up feeling left out, and it took us years to talk about it. In this episode: Why there's pain on both sides of wedding planning, and why it's usually a communication gap, not a character flaw Taking care of your own emotional needs first so you're not easily derailed A client's mid-wedding turnaround, and the question that changed her day: who do I want to be in this relationship? You're not the first family anymore. If you want to work on a marriage, work on the one you're in. Grace from every angle, including for the bride whose brain isn't fully done cooking yet Every wedding is different: ask, then believe the answers If a past wedding still stings, stick with me. Episode 5 of this series is for you. Free Resources: Visit www.brookeoniki.com and click "Free Resources" for short videos on how to stop spiraling thoughts, how to reconnect after a hard interaction with your child, and how to calm an elevated nervous system. A new Bridges group just started! Learn more about group coaching, or book a consult call to explore private coaching, at www.brookeoniki.com . Click the "Work with Me" tab!
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S1 · E62
July 13 · 32 min
Episode 61: Good News! Thoughts are Optional!
Two inmates. The same caseworker. One thinks she's amazing; the other thinks she shouldn't even have a job. So which is it? In this episode, I share stories from my coaching classes at the Utah State Prison that perfectly illustrate one of the most foundational principles in coaching: our thoughts — not our circumstances — create our feelings. The same sentencing, the same caseworker, the same camping trip, the same child, the same bank account can produce completely different emotional experiences depending on the thoughts we choose to have about them. But here's what this episode is not about: rushing to swap your thought for a shinier one. Before we ever change a thought, we need awareness of what our current thoughts are creating for us — in our relationships, our identity, and the meaning we give to our lives. In this episode, you'll learn: Why circumstances (a sentencing, a caseworker, a "difficult" child) are neutral until we have a thought about them The important caveat: thoughts create feelings in a regulated nervous system — and why we need to calm down before we can access our adult brain Why "thoughts are optional" doesn't mean lying to yourself or pretending everything is rainbows and daisies How our thoughts become self-fulfilling prophecies — like the mom who was grumpy with her "grumpy" daughter How thoughts confirm our existing beliefs, so our brain only gathers evidence for what we already think The three areas where heavy thoughts do the most damage: our relationships, our identity stories ("it's too late for me to change"), and the meaning we load onto circumstances Why sitting with a thought — on paper or in prayer — is where the transformation actually begins Your invitation this week: pick one relationship that isn't going well and ask yourself, "What are my predominant thoughts about this person, and how do those thoughts make me feel? Is that how I want to feel toward them?" Resources mentioned: Free Resources: Visit www.brookeoniki.com and click "Free Resources" for short videos on how to stop spiraling thoughts, how to reconnect after a hard interaction with your child, and how to calm an elevated nervous system. A new Bridges group just started! Learn more about group coaching, or book a consult call to explore private coaching, at www.brookeoniki.com . Click the "Work with Me" tab! Join the Newsletter: https://landing.mailerlite.com/webforms/landing/f7o6w8
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S1 · E61
July 6 · 20 min
Episode 60: Consider What You're Considering-A Lesson from King Mosiah
Consider What You're Considering: A Lesson from King Mosiah When King Mosiah's people wanted a new king, he gave them counsel that applies to every decision we make in our families today: "I desire that ye should consider the cause which ye are called to consider" (Mosiah 29:5). In other words — consider what you're considering. In this episode, I share how a family home evening lesson from my dad (and a high school prank gone very wrong) taught my kids this principle, and how it applies to the everyday choices we make in our relationships. Whether it's venting to one family member about another, rescuing our kids from every financial bind, or keeping secrets to "hold the peace," our choices are always creating something — and it's worth asking what. In this episode, you'll learn: The powerful question to ask before any decision: "If I made this same choice 100 times, what would it build?" How to identify what you're really seeking when you want something (validation? relief? an ally? security?) Why choices that feel good in the moment can create patterns that damage our closest relationships The story of how my thought "he's mad at me" was creating resentment in my own marriage — and how I changed it A simple three-part framework for considering what you're considering: Look in — What am I wanting to feel? Look forward — What am I creating? Look outward — Who is this affecting? This tool isn't meant to create guilt or shame — it's meant to build awareness. You can get validation, relief, and connection in ways that don't come at the expense of the people you love. Free Resources: Visit www.brookeoniki.com and click "Free Resources" for short videos on how to stop spiraling thoughts, how to reconnect after a hard interaction with your child, and how to calm an elevated nervous system. Join the Newsletter: https://landing.mailerlite.com/webforms/landing/f7o6w8
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S1 · E60
June 29 · 54 min
Episode 59: Understanding Gen Z: What Every Parent Needs to Know, A conversation with Maggon Osmond
What makes Gen Z tick — and why does it feel so hard to connect with them? In this episode, Brooke sits down with Maggon Osmond, owner of Kindness Matters Education, who has spent 20 years working with teens and young adults. Maggon brings a warm, practical perspective to one of the most common struggles her clients face: understanding the generation they're raising. Maggon works with businesses to help them support and retain their Gen Z workforce, and the lessons translate powerfully into family life. Whether your child is 17 or 32, this conversation will help you understand why they see the world so differently — and what you can actually do about it. In this episode, you'll learn: A quick breakdown of each generation and what shaped them Why COVID-19 fundamentally changed how Gen Z sees rules, systems, and the future The 8 core fears Gen Z carries into workplaces — and into your home Why constant digital connection amplifies anxiety and makes conflict harder to resolve What "building the dock" means and how to create a safe counterculture in your home The high love + high expectation framework and why both halves are non-negotiable How your role shifts when your kids become adults — and what it looks like to be their encourager instead of their manager Why fear-based parenting masquerades as control, and how to choose faith instead Key quote from this episode: "If we thought of this world as a classroom, not a courtroom, we would do ourselves a lot of good in every aspect of our lives." — Megan Osman Connect with Maggon Osmond: Kindness Matters EDU Join the Newsletter: https://landing.mailerlite.com/webforms/landing/f7o6w8 Learn More Book a free session, read the blog, get more free content at: www.brookeoniki.com
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S1 · E59
June 23 · 21 min
Episode 58: B-Minus Work: Why Good Enough Is Better Than Perfect
Have you ever put off cleaning your bathrooms because you didn't have time for a deep clean? Or held back a creative project because it wasn't quite ready? Or avoided a hard conversation because the timing wasn't perfect? That's perfectionism in disguise and it's keeping you stuck. In this episode, Brooke introduces one of her favorite concepts: B-minus work. A B-minus is a passing grade, and it turns out that consistently doing good enough is almost always more effective than waiting for perfect conditions that rarely arrive. In this episode Brooke covers: What B-minus work is and why it's not the same as settling How perfectionism is really a form of self-protection and avoidance Why consistency over time beats occasional perfection every single time How B-minus work shows up in creativity, mental health, cleaning, scripture study, parenting, relationships, and health The 80/20 principle applied to eating and movement When A-plus work actually is required — and why most of life isn't that The garden story that perfectly illustrates why imperfect action beats perfect inaction Key takeaway: 20 minutes of cleaning is infinitely better than zero minutes. An imperfect apology repairs more than the perfect conversation you never have. A B-minus podcast published every week builds more trust than a perfect one that never comes out. Done beats perfect. Every time. Stay Connected With Brooke Get weekly encouragement, emotional wellness tools, and podcast extras: Join the Newsletter: https://landing.mailerlite.com/webforms/landing/f7o6w8 Learn More Book a free session, read the blog, get more free content at: www.brookeoniki.com
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S1 · E58
June 15 · 22 min
Episode 57: When Helping Isn't Helping
When Helping Isn't Helping Brooke Oniki Life Coaching Podcast My husband was making cookies. He's done it dozens of times. And I still couldn't keep my mouth shut about the butter. That moment introduced me — again — to a concept from leadership researcher Liz Wiseman: the difference between multipliers and diminishers. Wiseman was studying corporations. But she was describing our families. In this episode we talk about the gatekeeper's paradox, the most dangerous quadrant of love, and the difference between love that grows people and love that simply keeps them safe. Plus a Larry Wilson quote from the April 2012 General Conference that I have never been able to shake. The question this episode asks is simple. The answer is harder: does your presence make the people around you more — or less? Quote of the Episode "Compulsion builds resentment. It conveys mistrust, and it makes people feel incompetent. Learning opportunities are lost when controlling persons pridefully assume they have all the right answers for others." — Elder Larry Wilson, April 2012 General Conference Resources Mentioned Multipliers by Liz Wiseman Diana Baumrind's four quadrants of parenting Elder Larry Wilson, April 2012 General Conference Stay Connected With Brooke Get weekly encouragement, emotional wellness tools, and podcast extras: Join the Newsletter: https://landing.mailerlite.com/webforms/landing/f7o6w8 Learn More Book a free session, read the blog, get more free content at: www.brookeoniki.com
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S1 · E57
June 8 · 17 min
Episode 56: Breathe Into the Stretch: Learning to Stay Present in Uncomfortable Relationships
We live in a world designed for comfort — same-day delivery, instant answers, and climate-controlled rooms. But what happens when that instinct for ease bleeds into our most important relationships? In this episode, Brooke explores what it means to expand your zone of relational discomfort and why staying in the hard moments might be the most loving thing you can do. Drawing on a yoga metaphor that will stick with you, Brooke unpacks what it looks like to "breathe into the stretch" — not just on the mat, but in the conversations you've been avoiding, the friendships you've been pulling back from, and the moments with your kids where your instinct is to fix, escape, or shut down. In this episode, you'll hear: Why our brains are wired to run from relational discomfort — and why running is costing us more than we realize The difference between protecting your child and protecting yourself from watching them hurt A powerful coaching example about a woman who kept hanging up on her sister — and what happened when she was challenged to stay on the line Brooke's personal story about her son Connor's devastating basketball season, and the quiet message that steady, ordinary love sends Her cousin Julie's experience navigating grief after losing her husband — and the profound truth that we can't take someone else's pain away Practical tools to expand your zone of discomfort: Notice the urge before you act on it Use your breath — slow it down Ask one more question before you react Look for the grain of truth in what stings most Show up the morning after — love them the same, let the sun rise Discomfort in a relationship isn't a sign something is wrong. It's often a sign something real is happening — something worth staying for. Stay Connected With Brooke Get weekly encouragement, emotional wellness tools, and podcast extras: Join the Newsletter: https://landing.mailerlite.com/webforms/landing/f7o6w8 Learn More Book a free session, read the blog, get more free content at: www.brookeoniki.com
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S1 · E56
June 1 · 38 min
Episode 55: The Power of Knowing Someone's Story-Supporting your LGBTQ Loved One
What does it look like to love someone when their path unfolds differently than you expected? In this heartfelt conversation, Brooke sits down with Sandra Rhees and her son Jeremy to talk about their family's experience navigating faith, family relationships, and Jeremy's journey as a gay, active member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Jeremy shares his experience of recognizing he was different, coming out to his family and friends, and learning to reconcile his faith with his sexual orientation. Sandra offers a parent's perspective on adjusting expectations, building trust, and choosing connection over fear. Together, they discuss: Jeremy's journey of discovering he was gay How his parents responded when he came out The importance of trust in parent-child relationships Navigating faith when questions don't have easy answers Experiences with church leaders and serving a mission Ways friends, family members, and ward members can create a greater sense of belonging Why curiosity and understanding matter more than assumptions How open communication develops over time Extending grace to ourselves and others as we learn One of the most powerful themes throughout this conversation is the importance of truly getting to know people. When we take time to hear someone's story, labels become less important and relationships become stronger. Whether you have an LGBTQ family member, friend, neighbor, or ward member—or simply want to become a more compassionate disciple of Christ—this episode offers thoughtful insights about love, trust, and human connection. Key Takeaways Trust creates safety for honest conversations. Understanding grows when we ask questions and listen. People are more than a single label or characteristic. Grace allows relationships to flourish even when perspectives differ. Christlike love begins with seeing people as individuals and learning their stories. Resources Mentioned Questions From The Closet podcast Charlie Bird Jared Halverson Stay Connected With Brooke Get weekly encouragement, emotional wellness tools, and podcast extras: Join the Newsletter: https://landing.mailerlite.com/webforms/landing/f7o6w8 Learn More Book a free session, read the blog, get more free content at: www.brookeoniki.com
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S1 · E55
May 22 · 13 min
Episode 54: Three Tips for Family Reunions, Vacations and Gatherings
Family reunions. Holidays. Summer trips. Long weekends with adult children, in-laws, and extended family. Sometimes they’re full of connection and joy. Sometimes they come with stress, hurt feelings, unmet expectations, or that one conversation that catches you off guard. In today’s episode, I’m sharing three simple tools to help you show up differently at family gatherings this summer. Instead of trying to manage everyone else, we’ll talk about how to manage you. Because when you feel more grounded, everything changes. In this episode we discuss: Why regulating your nervous system matters more than managing the event A story about a mother who thought criticism was coming—but discovered connection instead How “manuals” (unspoken expectations) create frustration at family events The birthday cake story and what it teaches us about curiosity and compassion Why curiosity often works better than control How deciding who you want to be before you arrive can completely change your experience Simple ways to stay connected, grounded, and present during summer gatherings Questions to consider before your next gathering: What tends to activate me? How will I care for myself if that happens? What expectations am I carrying? Who do I want to be when I walk into the room? You don’t need a perfect family gathering to create a meaningful one. Sometimes the win is simply this: I showed up as the person I wanted to be. If you’re heading into a family reunion, wedding, vacation, or difficult conversation this summer and want a little extra support, Brooke also shares an invitation for short-term coaching sessions to help you prepare and feel more grounded. Listen in and let’s make this summer feel a little lighter, calmer, and more connected. Stay Connected With Brooke Get weekly encouragement, emotional wellness tools, and podcast extras: Join the Newsletter: https://landing.mailerlite.com/webforms/landing/f7o6w8 Learn More Book a free session, read the blog, get more free content at: www.brookeoniki.com
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S1 · E54
May 18 · 19 min
Episode 53: The Hidden Reason You Don’t Feel Like Starting
Today we’re talking about a fascinating concept: our brains resist state changes. When we’re sitting, we don’t want to stand. When we’re home, we don’t want to leave. When we finally start cleaning, we suddenly don’t want to stop. This isn’t because you’re lazy or unmotivated. Our brains love familiarity, efficiency, and conserving energy. In this episode we discuss: • Why transitions feel hard • Why resistance doesn’t mean something is wrong • How momentum creates motivation • Simple hacks to help you move through resistance • Why accountability and community help us follow through We’ll talk about real-life examples like exercise, cleaning, bedtime routines, procrastination, and even recording podcasts. Questions to think about this week: Where are you interpreting normal resistance as a problem? What if resistance isn’t evidence that you shouldn’t do something but simply evidence that you’re changing states? If this episode helps you, share it with a friend. I’m so grateful you’re here and part of this community! Stay Connected With Brooke Get weekly encouragement, emotional wellness tools, and podcast extras: Join the Newsletter: https://landing.mailerlite.com/webforms/landing/f7o6w8 Learn More Coaching, resources, and offerings for midlife women: www.brookeoniki.com
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