
Marriage Communication: We Started Asking Real Questions, Not Just Sharing Information
When your spouse doesn't feel like your best friend anymore, we want you to know friendship in marriage can be rebuilt. I say life often crowds out closeness — jobs, kids, bills and chores take the best of our time. We point out that logistics talk is useful but it won't make you feel close. We share simple steps: protect time, save some of your best energy for each other, and have focused talks that are not about chores. Our challenge is small and doable: put the phones away, sit for 15 minutes, ask “What's something inside you I wish I knew?” and just listen. No big magic needed — just steady little choices that feed your friendship back to life. We talk like real people who once were best friends and want that back. I say friendship in marriage is not a bonus. Teresa says it's someone you enjoy being with and can tell anything to. We tell the story of how life sneaks in — jobs, kids, bills, mowing the lawn — and how friendship gets crowded out, not killed. I joke about giving the marriage "super vitamins" and we both warn against living on leftovers: don’t give your spouse what’s left after you give the world your best. We push you to be intentional, not perfect. We also share how we guard our friendship. We set aside time to talk that is not logistics. We hold hands a lot. We make space for silly memories, dreams, and real feels. I explain how asking deeper questions like "How are you feeling about this?" shows care. Teresa tells how homeschooling seasons felt like single parenting at times and how that made it hard to connect. We end with a simple challenge: put your phones away, sit for 15 minutes, and ask "What's going on inside you that I should know?" Then listen. No fixing. Just hear your best friend. Takeaways: We said friendship in marriage must be fed, not assumed, or it slowly fades. Life gets busy and fills your days with logistics, but friendship needs real time. Don't live on leftovers; save some of your best time and love for each other. Put phones away and spend fifteen minutes asking, 'What's going on inside you?' and listen. Move past logistics by asking how we feel, by showing care, not just giving information. We keep discovering each other by asking curious questions and protecting a simple weekly talk.
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