S1 · E3October 6 · 48 min
How do you know if your boss is a narcissist?
On this episode of Seen, I sit down with psychotherapist and corporate mediator Kathleen Saxton, author of Sly & Mighty. Kathleen came on the show before to talk about narcissistic parents in My Parent the Peacock, and this time we turn to the person many of us spend even more hours with. She explains what narcissistic leadership actually means clinically, how to spot the types, and why the first few weeks under one feel like everything you ever wanted. We talk about why it is so hard to see any of it while you are still inside, which Kathleen calls the dirty fish tank, and then get practical: the swing from golden child to scapegoat, why silence makes bystanders complicit, and stay, play or slay, the three honest choices you have.
Key Takeaways:
-The early red flags of a narcissistic boss, and why the first few weeks feel so good
- What the dirty fish tank is, and how a toxic culture quietly changes the way you behave
- Why intermittent reinforcement keeps you trying to please a boss who will never be pleased
- Stay, play or slay, and how to take back your agency at work
Chapters:
What A Narcissistic Boss Really Looks Like (00:00)
The Dark Triad: Why Psychopaths Get Promoted (07:13)
The Dirty Fish Tank: How Toxic Cultures Spread (13:27)
5 Masks Toxic Bosses Hide Behind (20:46)
Why Nobody Speaks Up Until It's Too Late (27:56)
How A Toxic Boss Follows You Home (35:00)
Should You Confront Your Narcissistic Boss? (42:32)
Kathleen Saxton is an accredited psychotherapist and a registered member of both the UKCP and the BACP. Before retraining she spent twenty-five years in media as an entrepreneur, Global CMO and talent agent to the C-suite, on the boards of companies ranging from Sky to Omnicom. She trained at Regents University and the CCPE in London, now practises in London and New York, consults to businesses on executive psychology, writes a column for Stylist on leadership and psychology, and runs the psycho-education channel ClinicwithK.
Her new book, Sly and Mighty: How to Recognise, Resist and Rise Above Toxic Power, is out on 24 September with Sheldon Press.Her first book, My Parent the Peacock, is out now.
-https://www.sheldonpress.co.uk/titles/kathleen-saxton-2/sly-and-mighty/9781399836890/
- https://www.waterstones.com/book/sly-and-mighty/kathleen-saxton/9781399836876
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/clinicwithk/
One of the clearest conversations I have had about power, and about the relief of finding out that what you took to be your own failure to cope is a pattern with a name.
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ABOUT SEEN
Hosted by Pandora Morris, Seen is a podcast featuring bold, brave, and honest conversations about mental health, wellbeing, relationships, and the experiences that shape our lives. Through personal stories and expert insights, Seen creates space for understanding, connection, and healing.
