Honeydew Me

286. Listener Confession: "I Fear I'll Never Truly Feel Sexy..."

One of you confessed: "I fear I'll never truly feel hot or sexy, and admitting that makes me feel even more lame." Em and Cass dive into why hotness feels like a make-or-break game we literally can't win: the impossible standards, the "hot girls are just born that way" myth, the way our attractiveness has been sold to us as our only real form of power, and why insecurity itself has somehow become the ugliest thing you can admit to. They get into the "am I f*ckable" question at the root of it all, the glow-up TikToks we've all saved, the effort we don't want to have to put in, and the small practices that have actually made them feel better (and hotter). Introducing our new monthly segment where YOU send in the anonymous confessions you can't tell anyone else, and we give you the honest reaction, advice, and pep talk you'd get if you sent it to your group chat. Submit yours at the link in our bio or HERE! Follow us on Instagram and TikTok @honeydewmepodcast Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

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285. Honey Archive: Stop Feeling Behind: Comparison, Confidence & Self-Worth with Anna Kai

We’re digging into the Honey Archives to bring back one of our favorite conversations, and one we think everyone could use a little refresher on. Anna Kai, creator of Maybe Both and one of our favorite internet hype women, joins us for a brutally honest conversation about confidence, self-worth, comparison, and figuring out who the hell you are when life doesn’t look the way you thought it would. If you’ve been feeling behind, questioning your worth, comparing your timeline to everyone else’s, or simply need a reminder that you don’t have to earn your right to feel good about yourself... consider this episode your confidence reset. In this episode, we cover: What we should ACTUALLY be focusing on in our 20s How to build self-worth when yours feels nonexistent What to tell yourself when everyone else seems “ahead” Navigating rock bottom and finding your footing again Getting off the comparison train Letting go of the need to be liked by everyone Embracing the freedom of your 20s — single OR partnered An oldie, a goodie, and your reminder to stop measuring your life against everyone else’s. 💛 Connect with Anna: Listen to Brutally Anna Connect on TikTok Visit her website HERE! Keep up with Honeydew Me: On Instagram On TikTok On YouTube Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

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284. "Should I Just Burn It All Down?" Aja Vines on Trusting Your Gut, Pivoting Publicly & Why You Don't Need Permission

Aja Vines... intuitive guide, oracle reader, and self-appointed "rebirth doula" who has personally survived approximately 100 identity pivots and expects to survive 100 more before she leaves this earth. She joins Em and Cass for a shamelessly real conversation about big pivots. Together they unpack why leaving something without a backup plan is sometimes the most sane thing you can do, why publicly changing your mind feels humiliating (and you should absolutely do it anyway), and how to tell the difference between burnout that needs rest and a real 'this chapter is over' kind of moment. Emma unpacks her year of unemployment, Cass gets called out on tearing herself down mid-pivot, and Aja closes with a live oracle reading for anyone on a journey right now (or about to start one). Find Aja on TikTok @ajavines and book a reading with her here! Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

283. Let's F*cking Date with Serena Kerrigan

Serena F*cking Kerrigan... your favorite creator and soon to be new favorite author of the upcoming book Let's F*cking Date. A dating bible for all our girlies who are currently in the "trenches" of the dating world and looking for a way to "become the prize, enjoy the ride, and never settle again." She joins Em and Cass for a ZERO BS breakdown of everything we're getting wrong about dating, from why "waiting for your person" is a trap that will basically ruin your life, to how having a roster will kill off any remnants of your scarcity mentality. Plus, Emma reports back on the date she went on SPECIFICALLY to try out Serena's rules, and they rapid-fire the red flags every 30-something should probably already know. Find Serena on Instagram at @serenakerrigan and pre-order Let's F*cking Date wherever you get your books. Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

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282. Just Between Us: Slamming Doors, Keeping Score & The Petty Shit We Do In Fights

A listener wrote in mortified: "I do stuff in fights with my boyfriend that I would be so embarrassed for my friends to find out about. Very petty shit. Bringing up things from years ago, silent treatment, crying to get my way. Am I just an immature bitch?" We dive in head first with our own worst fighting confessions, from slamming doors to walking away for attention. Spoiler: we've done all of it. Then we get into why we do this shit in the first place and what actually helped us move from "immature bitches" to "slightly more mature bitches." Follow us on Instagram and TikTok @honeydewmepodcast and subscribe to our Patreon for exclusive content and ad free episodes. Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

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281. Just Between Us: Initiating Sex, Dropping Hints & Why Your Partner Isn't A Mind Reader

A listener wrote in, and she's pissed. She's been dropping spicy hints like nobody's business (wearing what he likes, flirty comments, changing with the door open), and her partner isn't picking up on any of them. She wants him to initiate. She wants to feel pursued. And yes, she knows she could just ask. Em and Cass get into how we all still want a mind-reader, the community polls (62% of you drop hints instead of asking for sex, 85% want your partner to initiate more), and how to actually build a communication style that doesn't require your partner to be Edward fucking Cullen. Follow us on Instagram and TikTok @honeydewmepodcast and subscribe to our Patreon for exclusive content and ad free episodes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

281. Just Between Us: Initiating Sex, Dropping Hints & Why Your Partner Isn't A Mind Reader

A listener wrote in, and she's pissed. She's been dropping spicy hints like nobody's business (wearing what he likes, flirty comments, changing with the door open), and her partner isn't picking up on any of them. She wants him to initiate. She wants to feel pursued. And yes, she knows she could just ask. Em and Cass get into how we all still want a mind-reader, the community polls (62% of you drop hints instead of asking for sex, 85% want your partner to initiate more), and how to actually build a communication style that doesn't require your partner to be Edward fucking Cullen. Follow us on Instagram and TikTok @honeydewmepodcast and subscribe to our Patreon for exclusive content and ad free episodes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

280. “Is It Normal to Still Feel Rejected in a Long-Term Relationship?” Alyssa Ljub on Rejection, Desire & Feeling Wanted

Alyssa Ljub is an intimacy and relationship expert who coaches dozens of couples a day in her role as a concierge at Arya. She joins Em and Cass to unpack the biggest hurdles couples hit when it comes to sex, why scheduling sex is FAR from unsexy, the difference between responsive and spontaneous desire, and the most common ways rejection shows up in long-term relationships. Find Alyssa at @alyssaljub on Instagram and TikTok and Arya at arya.fyi. Follow us on Instagram and TikTok @honeydewmepodcast and subscribe to our Patreon for exclusive content and ad free episodes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

280. “Is It Normal to Still Feel Rejected in a Long-Term Relationship?” Alyssa Ljub on Rejection, Desire & Feeling Wanted

Alyssa Ljub is an intimacy and relationship expert who coaches dozens of couples a day in her role as a concierge at Arya. She joins Em and Cass to unpack the biggest hurdles couples hit when it comes to sex, why scheduling sex is FAR from unsexy, the difference between responsive and spontaneous desire, and the most common ways rejection shows up in long-term relationships. Find Alyssa at @alyssaljub on Instagram and TikTok and Arya at arya.fyi. Follow us on Instagram and TikTok @honeydewmepodcast and subscribe to our Patreon for exclusive content and ad free episodes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

279. The Director of The Kinsey Institute on Modern Intimacy, Dating Apps & the Sex Recession

Dr. Justin Garcia is the Executive Director of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University, chief scientific advisor to Match, and the author of the new book The Intimate Animal. He joins Em and Cass for a wide-ranging conversation on why modern intimacy feels so hard, and why he's optimistic about it anyway. They get into the intimacy crisis (why we can be surrounded by people and still feel lonely), the "all-or-nothing" marriage model that's crushing modern relationships, the real story behind the sex recession and why declining frequency might not be a bad thing, the biology of monogamy versus sexual novelty (and the three ways couples navigate that tension), why 80% of marriages actually got stronger during the pandemic, and how dating apps are breaking our brains by tricking us into thinking every person is disposable. Plus the stat that 70% of people become deeply attracted to someone they didn't initially think they would, why the "work on yourself first" culture might be keeping you single, and the line Justin's built his relationship advice around: the grass is greener where you water it. Find The Intimate Animal wherever you get your books, and Dr. Justin Garcia on Instagram at @drjustingarcia. EVERYONE who signs up wins a FREE WhisperVibe™ OR a FREE Rose toy with any Whisper™ order! https://www.bboutique.co/vibe/honeydewme-pod Want to come to our next IRL event? Follow us on Instagram @honeydewmepodcast. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

279. The Director of The Kinsey Institute on Modern Intimacy, Dating Apps & the Sex Recession

Dr. Justin Garcia is the Executive Director of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University, chief scientific advisor to Match, and the author of the new book The Intimate Animal. He joins Em and Cass for a wide-ranging conversation on why modern intimacy feels so hard, and why he's optimistic about it anyway. They get into the intimacy crisis (why we can be surrounded by people and still feel lonely), the "all-or-nothing" marriage model that's crushing modern relationships, the real story behind the sex recession and why declining frequency might not be a bad thing, the biology of monogamy versus sexual novelty (and the three ways couples navigate that tension), why 80% of marriages actually got stronger during the pandemic, and how dating apps are breaking our brains by tricking us into thinking every person is disposable. Plus the stat that 70% of people become deeply attracted to someone they didn't initially think they would, why the "work on yourself first" culture might be keeping you single, and the line Justin's built his relationship advice around: the grass is greener where you water it. Find The Intimate Animal wherever you get your books, and Dr. Justin Garcia on Instagram at @drjustingarcia. EVERYONE who signs up wins a FREE WhisperVibe™ OR a FREE Rose toy with any Whisper™ order! https://www.bboutique.co/vibe/honeydewme-pod Want to come to our next IRL event? Follow us on Instagram @honeydewmepodcast. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

278. Just Between Us: Am I a Bad Friend for Being This Jealous?

A listener wrote in asking about a version of jealousy a lot of us are ashamed to admit: "I don't feel excited when good things happen to my friends anymore. Engagements, promotions, pregnancies, whatever. I fake it every time and feel like a monster." Em and Cass dive in head first with their own confessions, including the jealousy they've felt toward each other, which they've never actually shared until now. They read the community polls (89% of you compare yourselves to your friends), read anonymous submissions on comparing looks, cars, and friend groups, and lasty run a rapid-fire agree/disagree round on when jealousy crosses the line. Come to "Bouquets & Besties" on Sunday, August 9th in Portland, Oregon! Get your tickets HERE! Follow us on Instagram and TikTok @honeydewmepodcast and subscribe to our Patreon for exclusive content and ad free episodes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

278. Just Between Us: Am I a Bad Friend for Being This Jealous?

A listener wrote in asking about a version of jealousy a lot of us are ashamed to admit: "I don't feel excited when good things happen to my friends anymore. Engagements, promotions, pregnancies, whatever. I fake it every time and feel like a monster." Em and Cass dive in head first with their own confessions, including the jealousy they've felt toward each other, which they've never actually shared until now. They read the community polls (89% of you compare yourselves to your friends), read anonymous submissions on comparing looks, cars, and friend groups, and lasty run a rapid-fire agree/disagree round on when jealousy crosses the line. Come to "Bouquets & Besties" on Sunday, August 9th in Portland, Oregon! Get your tickets HERE! Follow us on Instagram and TikTok @honeydewmepodcast and subscribe to our Patreon for exclusive content and ad free episodes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

277. Why Am I Never in the Mood Anymore? Brooke Bralove on Desire, Low Libido & ART Therapy

Brooke Bralove has spent 22 years as a sex therapist helping women figure out what's actually going on when desire disappears. Her take: your desire isn't broken or gone, it's just stuck. She joins Em and Cass to talk about why the sex we had at the beginning of a relationship isn't coming back (and why we need to grieve that), why "just try to be in the mood" is terrible advice, and how a new kind of therapy called ART is helping women unstick everything from low libido to body image spirals in as little as one session. Find Brooke at brookebralove.com and @brookebralovepsychotherapy on Instagram. Want to hang out IRL?! Come to our event "Bouquets & Besties" on Aug. 9th 2026. Get your tickets HERE! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

277. Why Am I Never in the Mood Anymore? Brooke Bralove on Desire, Low Libido & ART Therapy

Brooke Bralove has spent 22 years as a sex therapist helping women figure out what's actually going on when desire disappears. Her take: your desire isn't broken or gone, it's just stuck. She joins Em and Cass to talk about why the sex we had at the beginning of a relationship isn't coming back (and why we need to grieve that), why "just try to be in the mood" is terrible advice, and how a new kind of therapy called ART is helping women unstick everything from low libido to body image spirals in as little as one session. Find Brooke at brookebralove.com and @brookebralovepsychotherapy on Instagram. Want to hang out IRL?! Come to our event "Bouquets & Besties" on Aug. 9th 2026. Get your tickets HERE! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

276. Just Between Us: "I Can't Tell My Friends The Truth..."

We all want closer friendships, but too few of us are actually having the conversations that would get us there. This week Em and Cass answer a listener question about how to have hard conversations with friends, and get into the years they spent hiding things from each other: postpartum shame, a months-long sex-life crisis, feeling left out, feeling jealous, feeling like too much. They read the community polls (68% of you have lied about how good your sex life is, 85% of you have hidden a relationship problem from your friends because you didn't want them to judge your partner) and answer five anonymous confessions, from the friend who's secretly not excited when her friends get pregnant, to the woman who hooked up with her friend's boyfriend before they started dating, to the one where you don't know how to tell your friend she isn't showing up. For anyone who's been biting their tongue with their best friend because they were scared of what the honesty would cost, this epi is for you, babe. Follow us on Instagram and TikTok @honeydewmepodcast and subscribe to our Patreon for exclusive content and ad free episodes. Want to submit a question or story? Do it anonymously HERE. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

276. Just Between Us: "I Can't Tell My Friends The Truth..."

We all want closer friendships, but too few of us are actually having the conversations that would get us there. This week Em and Cass answer a listener question about how to have hard conversations with friends, and get into the years they spent hiding things from each other: postpartum shame, a months-long sex-life crisis, feeling left out, feeling jealous, feeling like too much. They read the community polls (68% of you have lied about how good your sex life is, 85% of you have hidden a relationship problem from your friends because you didn't want them to judge your partner) and answer five anonymous confessions, from the friend who's secretly not excited when her friends get pregnant, to the woman who hooked up with her friend's boyfriend before they started dating, to the one where you don't know how to tell your friend she isn't showing up. For anyone who's been biting their tongue with their best friend because they were scared of what the honesty would cost, this epi is for you, babe. Follow us on Instagram and TikTok @honeydewmepodcast and subscribe to our Patreon for exclusive content and ad free episodes. Want to submit a question or story? Do it anonymously HERE. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

275. Honey Archive: How to Fight Fair with Shrink Chicks

HOT RELATIONSHIP TIP: fighting isn’t a bad thing… but you do need to learn how to fight fair. Emmalee Bierly, LMFT and Jennifer Chaiken, LMFT of Shrink Chicks are back and this time they’re sharing their expert tips on how to fight. We cover: -Why fighting is actually a part of a healthy relationship -How to fight fair -How to regulate your emotions during a fight -Scripts for expressing your feelings and apologizing -What resentment can look like and how it manifests in our relationships -The grief that comes along with committing to a long term relationship EVERYONE who signs up wins a FREE Rose suction toy with their order! https://www.bboutique.co/vibe/honeydewme-pod Learn more about 1:1 coaching HERE!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Get Honeydew Me Merch HERE!⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

275. Honey Archive: How to Fight Fair with Shrink Chicks

HOT RELATIONSHIP TIP: fighting isn’t a bad thing… but you do need to learn how to fight fair. Emmalee Bierly, LMFT and Jennifer Chaiken, LMFT of Shrink Chicks are back and this time they’re sharing their expert tips on how to fight. We cover: -Why fighting is actually a part of a healthy relationship -How to fight fair -How to regulate your emotions during a fight -Scripts for expressing your feelings and apologizing -What resentment can look like and how it manifests in our relationships -The grief that comes along with committing to a long term relationship EVERYONE who signs up wins a FREE Rose suction toy with their order! https://www.bboutique.co/vibe/honeydewme-pod Learn more about 1:1 coaching HERE!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Get Honeydew Me Merch HERE!⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

274. 30-40% of Men Are Hiding Their Porn Use: Dr. Adi Jaffe on Addiction, Intimacy & Shame

Dr. Adi Jaffe has a PhD in psychology from UCLA, is a TEDx speaker, and founded IGNTD, a platform reframing how we talk about addiction, shame, and recovery. He joins Em and Cass for a wide-ranging conversation on addiction, mental health, and the skill nobody teaches us: how to sit with discomfort instead of running from it. They get into what addiction actually is, why so many of us are quietly struggling with some version of it, and why the behaviors we lean on to cope (porn, drinking, doom scrolling, work) all trace back to the same thing. Adi walks them through what happens in a relationship when one person uses those behaviors to avoid intimacy, how shame keeps people stuck, and his framework for working through it. Find Dr. Adi at adijaffe.com and on Instagram at @dradijaffe. Unhooked is wherever you get your books. Learn more about 1:1 coaching HERE!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Get Honeydew Me Merch HERE!⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy