Kids & FamilyParentingHealth & FitnessMental HealthEducationSelf-Improvement

HERself

Abby and Amy

As women and mothers of young children, it can be easy to compare ourselves to others. But your life isn't supposed to look like hers! Being your best self means standing firm in your decisions and always being willing to grow with a purpose. Are you wanting more ease in your marriage? Or more enjoyment as a parent? Are you looking for a strategy to the health challenges you have been facing recently? Do you feel like you have been staring at a stranger in the mirror since becoming a mother? Abby and Amy get vulnerable with topics around partnership, motherhood, health, and self improvement by interviewing authors, therapists, experts and everyday mothers. Our conversations will meet you with solutions and solidarity as you find a life path that feels aligned for you. If this sounds like you, hit play on your favorite episode title and make sure you're following the HERself podcast.

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30 episodes
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English

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Monday · 32 min
360: Raising Resilient Kids: Navigating Friendships, Conflict & Rejection with Amy Miller
Our kids’ friendships can be complicated, and as moms, it’s hard to know when to step in and when to let them figure things out on their own. Today we’re talking with Amy Miller, an elementary school counselor who has worked with more than 500 kids, about how we can help our kids navigate friendship changes, rejection, and conflict while building the confidence to work through challenges themselves. Plus, we’re learning why friendship struggles are a normal part of growing up and how the lessons our kids are learning about friendship are ones we can use in our own lives, too. Key Topics Covered The four types of “friends” to stay away from Navigating friendship groups of three and feelings of being left out How to recognize the difference between conflict, mean behavior, and bullying Teaching kids about trust, privacy, and sharing personal information CONNECT WITH AMY: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/school_counselor_mama Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/p/School-Counselor-Mama-61561534478910/ Check out Amy’s resources and ebooks here: https://beacons.ai/school_counselor_mama Codes for her ebooks: Calm Minds, Happy Homes, use code CALM20 for 20% off From Guessing to Knowing: How To Raise An Emotionally Open Kid, use code OPEN20 for 20% off Amy’s Friendship Freebie: https://schoolcounselormama.com/shop/c52ca413-3a83-428c-96e9-3c5fab5b0a89 Amy’s children’s book, Made of Strong Stuff: https://www.boundtobetold.com/stories/made-of-strong-stuff/overview Use code PODCAST15 for 15% off LINKS AND RESOURCES: Patreon Book Club: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcast SITKA SEAFOOD: Visit https://sitkaseafoodmarket.com/pages/herself for $35 Off + free salmon burgers for a year with a continuous subscription. The code HERSELF25 should auto-apply when using this link Let’s connect! HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcast HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast MEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskiefer MEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen This episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.
October 12 · 31 min
359: How to Be a More Resilient Person
Today we’re talking about resilience and what it actually looks like to become a more resilient person, especially on the days when life feels overwhelming. After listening to a podcast about what mentally strong people do on their worst days, we pulled out the ideas that really resonated with us and shared how we’re applying them to our own lives. We’re talking about why avoiding the things that stress us out usually doesn’t make us feel better, how questioning our thoughts can help us get out of black-and-white thinking, and why taking small steps forward can make a bigger difference than waiting for time to heal everything. We also get into the difference between feeling our feelings and ruminating on them, and how the hard things we’ve experienced can ultimately show us just how capable we are. Key Topics Covered Why “mental health days” might not be as restorative as we think Moving from avoidance to small, manageable action How the way we label ourselves can shape how we see ourselves Scheduling time to worry instead of letting worry take over Finding the gift in experiences we never would have chosen LINKS AND RESOURCES: AMAZON STOREFRONT: https://amzlink.to/az0BrkLl5pX9u LMNT: Free Sample Pack with purchase: drinkLMNT.com/HERSELF Listen to the podcast that inspired this episode: What Mentally Strong People Do on Their Worst Days with Psychotherapist Amy Morin on A Bit of Optimism with Simon Sinek https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/what-mentally-strong-people-do-on-their-worst-days/id1515385282?i=1000791062156 Let’s connect! HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcast HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast MEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskiefer MEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen This episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.
October 5 · 32 min
358: This Hack Could Change Your Life
We all have those little tasks that we say we’ll do later, but what if there were a simple way to finally get them done? In this episode, we’re breaking down the idea of a “dreadsprint,” a simple way to batch those annoying, lingering tasks and finally get them off your mental list. We’re talking about why these unfinished tasks can take up so much mental energy, how we each approach them very differently, and how you can create a system that actually works for your personality. If you’ve got a list of things you’ve been avoiding, this might be the motivation you need to knock them out. Key Topics Covered The difference between a dreadsprint and a typical to-do list Finding the right approach based on your personality and tendencies Using batching, timers, and small rewards to make dreaded tasks easier Why completing a task fully can help close the loop in your brain Making your own health, appointments, and responsibilities a priority LINKS AND RESOURCES: BETTERHELP: 10% off first month at: http://betterhelp.com/herself Patreon Book Club: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcast Listen to episode 337: Do You Actually Want to Change? Listen to This with Karin Nordin: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/herself/id1489878793?i=1000767168604 Let’s connect! HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcast HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast MEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskiefer MEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen This episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.
September 28 · 41 min
357: Abby's Issues Explored: Part 1
In this episode, we’re diving into something that Abby has struggled with for most of her life: the feeling that she’s never doing enough. Whether it’s parenting, work, or her home, she shares how she can hit one goal and immediately move the bar higher, which makes it hard to actually feel proud of what she’s accomplished or be present in the moment. We talk about where this drive comes from, how it can turn into overfunctioning and burnout, and what it looks like to start letting go of the constant pressure to do more. She's still figuring this out, but Abby's learning that being “enough” isn’t something she can achieve. It’s something she has to decide. Key Topics Covered: The connection between achievement, praise, and belonging How comparison can fuel negative self-talk Why rest and play can feel uncomfortable for high achievers Prompts to help redefine your priorities and recognize when you’re already doing enough Letting go of perfection without losing the parts of yourself that make you a high achiever LINKS AND RESOURCES: LMNT: Free Sample Pack with purchase: drinkLMNT.com/HERSELF FORAGE KITCHEN: Check out your nearest location Grab a copy of the book The Big Leap: Conquer Your Hidden Fear and Take Life to the Next Level: https://amzlink.to/az0Vz8f52wrL6 Let’s connect! HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcast HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast MEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskiefer MEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen This episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.
September 21 · 31 min
356: The Most Underrated Secret to a Strong Marriage
We often think communication is the key to a strong marriage, but what if the real secret is friendship? In this episode, we’re talking about what it looks like to actually be friends with your spouse, how that can get lost when life gets busy and kids need more from you, and the ways we’ve each seen this play out in our own marriages. We’re also sharing some simple ways to rebuild connection that can help you find your way back to liking each other again. Key Topics Covered: How to show genuine interest in your partner’s hobbies and interests The mental load and how sharing responsibilities can create more room for connection Why small acts of kindness and quick repairs matter Ways to turn toward your partner instead of away during frustrating moments Creating more opportunities for fun and shared experiences LINKS AND RESOURCES: BETTERHELP: 10% off first month at: http://betterhelp.com/herself MOMCOZY: 20% off with code HERSELF https://momcozy.com/ Listen to episode 10 with Molly Millwood: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/herself/id1489878793?i=1000466502777 Grab the books mentioned in the episode: To Have and to Hold: Motherhood, Marriage, and the Modern Dilemma by Molly Millwood: https://amzlink.to/az0O8mPASBGdi Drop the Ball: Achieving More by Doing Less by Tiffany Dufu: https://amzlink.to/az0xopPThIfNo Fair Play by Eve Rodsky: https://amzlink.to/az0P01tackqJA Read the blog post from The Gottman Institute: https://www.gottman.com/blog/thirty-years-later/ Let’s connect! HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcast HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast MEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskiefer MEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen This episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.
September 14 · 35 min
355: Hot Takes on Youth Sports with Chandler Ashcraft
Today, we’re talking all things motherhood, mindset, and youth sports with Chandler Ashcraft, the creator behind @chanwiththeboys and founder of Moms Away. Chandler brings her background in education and her experience raising four boys to the conversation, sharing why perspective can help us take the pressure off, how to set developmentally appropriate expectations for our kids, and why confidence often comes from being willing to do hard things. We also get into the reality of youth sports, from the pressure to do more to the mental load that comes with keeping everyone’s schedules moving, and how to make choices that actually fit your family. Key Topics Covered How exposure to hard moments builds confidence and resilience Teaching kids to take ownership of their attitude, effort, and response Why confidence, especially for women, is built through failure and trying again How to evaluate the tradeoffs that come with youth sports Keeping the long game in mind when making decisions for your family CONNECT WITH CHANDLER: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chanwiththeboys TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@chanwiththeboys Learn more about Moms Away: Website: https://www.momsaway.co/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/moms.away LINKS AND RESOURCES: LMNT: Free Sample Pack with purchase: drinkLMNT.com/HERSELF SITKA SEAFOOD: Visit https://sitkaseafoodmarket.com/pages/herself for $35 Off + free salmon burgers for a year with a continuous subscription. The code HERSELF25 should auto-apply when using this link Let’s connect! HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcast HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast MEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskiefer MEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen This episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.
September 7 · 29 min
354: Greatest Hits: A Reframe on Jealousy
Since it’s Labor Day here in the U.S., we’re bringing back one of our favorite conversations on shifting jealousy and comparison into inspiration and possibility. It’s easy to fall into the trap of comparing yourself to other women and feeling jealous, intimidated, or like you’re somehow behind. But what if you could shift that mindset and instead feel genuinely inspired by the success around you? In this episode, we share a recent real-life experience from a mastermind we attended with highly successful business owners and how it challenged us to see comparison differently. Instead of letting the “small fish in a big sea” feeling discourage us, we used it as proof of what’s possible. We talk about the mindset shift that helped us move from comparison to inspiration, why personal growth plays a huge role in that process, and how surrounding yourself with the right people can change the way you view your own potential. In this episode, we discuss: What it felt like walking into a room full of highly successful entrepreneurs. The surprising common habits we noticed among women operating at a high level. Why taking care of your physical health often supports long-term success. The “highlight reel vs. inner life” trap and why it distorts how we see other people’s journeys. Questions to ask yourself when someone else's success triggers comparison. The hidden sacrifices and personal work that often sit behind visible success. Practical ways to shift from jealousy to curiosity and inspiration. Why your mindset about others’ success can either hold you back or move you forward. How getting support, such as a mindset coach, can help you break out of negative thought patterns. The powerful question to ask when a negative thought about someone else pops up. LINKS AND RESOURCES: BETTERHELP: 10% off first month at: http://betterhelp.com/herself Let’s connect! HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcast HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast MEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskiefer MEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen This episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.
August 31 · 27 min
353: Triggered by Your Kids' Behavior? This Is For You
Have you ever found yourself taking your child’s behavior personally, getting defensive, or reacting in a way you wish you could take back? Today, we’re talking about how the Gottman Institute’s Four Horsemen of criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling can show up in our parenting, why our kids’ emotional development means we have to take the lead when it comes to navigating conflict, and how much they learn from the way we handle hard moments. We’re not going to get it right every time, but becoming more aware of our patterns can help us model healthier communication, repair, and relationships for our kids. Key Topics Covered Why criticism can feel like an attack or humiliation to a child How to tell the difference between taking a break and stonewalling Why self-regulation has to come before trying to coach your child through a conflict How to soften the start-up and communicate your feelings more clearly The importance of taking responsibility and modeling a genuine apology LINKS AND RESOURCES: AMAZON STOREFRONT: https://amzlink.to/az0BrkLl5pX9u MOMCOZY: 20% off with code HERSELF https://momcozy.com/ Let’s connect! HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcast HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast MEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskiefer MEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen This episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.
August 24 · 38 min
352: Feeling Unworthy? This Is For You With Dr. Marisa Franco
We’re so excited to welcome Dr. Marisa Franco back to the podcast for the third time to talk about something so many of us struggle with: feeling worthy. We’re diving into why simply telling ourselves to “love ourselves” doesn’t always work, how our past experiences continue to shape the way we see ourselves today, and what it can look like to meet ourselves with more understanding instead of trying to force ourselves to feel differently. We also talk about how our own self-worth impacts the way we show up for our kids and how we can help the next generation build a healthier relationship with themselves. Key Topics Covered Why insecurity can actually be an adaptive response How attachment theory can become another form of perfectionism Why some people struggle to receive compliments The connection between self-worth, memories, and our emotional responses How to recognize, regulate, and respond to difficult emotions CONNECT WITH DR. MARISA FRANCO: Follow on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drmarisagfranco Check out her website: https://drmarisagfranco.com/ Pre-order Marisa’s new book, Worth: The New Science of Self-Esteem and Secure Attachment here: https://amzlink.to/az0RRIqPA4gxb Listen to her past episodes on HERself: 59. The Challenge and Triumphs of Adult Friendships https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/herself/id1489878793?i=1000505703230 314. Attachment Styles in Adult Friendships https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/herself/id1489878793?i=1000739104904 LINKS AND RESOURCES: LMNT: Free Sample Pack with purchase: drinkLMNT.com/HERSELF SITKA SEAFOOD: Visit https://sitkaseafoodmarket.com/pages/herself for $35 Off + free salmon burgers for a year with a continuous subscription. The code HERSELF25 should auto-apply when using this link Let’s connect! HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcast HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast MEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskiefer MEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen This episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.
August 17 · 31 min
351: If You Keep Having the Same Fight, Listen to This
What do you do when you and your partner keep having the same fight over and over again? Learning how to navigate those gridlocked arguments can help you stop spinning your wheels and start finding a way forward, even when you don’t see eye to eye. Today, we’re breaking down practical ways to approach these recurring disagreements, including how to look beneath the surface of the argument, stay connected when you don’t agree, and find a livable solution together. Because sometimes the goal isn’t to finally agree, but to learn how to handle the disagreement in a healthier way. Key Topics Covered: Why some relationship conflicts are unsolvable How childhood experiences can shape the way we handle conflict Why vulnerability can help you break out of a cycle of defensiveness How to find common ground when you disagree What to do when pushing for a solution isn’t working LINKS AND RESOURCES: HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcast LMNT: Free Sample Pack with purchase: drinkLMNT.com/HERSELF Let’s connect! HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcast HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast MEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskiefer MEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen This episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.
August 10 · 50 min
350: The Money Beliefs That Are Costing You
Money is one of the biggest sources of conflict in relationships, but it's rarely about the money itself. This week, we unpack why couples get stuck in the same financial arguments, how our childhood experiences and money beliefs shape the way we spend and save, and what it really takes to get on the same page with your partner. We also share practical ways to have healthier money conversations, better understand each other's financial habits, and build a stronger partnership instead of keeping score. Key Topics Covered: The four common money personalities and how they influence financial decisions Why regular money check-ins help couples stay connected and avoid resentment How financial anxiety can show up as overspending, oversaving, or avoiding money altogether The impact of lifestyle creep, comparison, and keeping score in a relationship Four simple questions to uncover your own money beliefs and start better conversations with your partner LINKS AND RESOURCES: LMNT: Free Sample Pack with purchase: drinkLMNT.com/HERSELF MOMCOZY: 20% off with code HERSELF https://momcozy.com/ GOTTMAN INSTITUTE ARTICLES ABOUT MONEY: https://www.gottman.com/blog/money-bankrupting-marriage/ “MONEY MAPS” FROM THE GOTTMAN INSTITUTE: https://www.gottman.com/blog/arguments-money-arent-money/ Let’s connect! HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcast HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast MEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskiefer MEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen This episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.
August 3 · 28 min
349: How To Reset Your Day: 5 Tips to Turn Things Around
Resetting a tough day doesn't always require a complete restart. Sometimes it's about catching an unhelpful thought, asking for what you need, or making one small change that shifts your momentum. Today we're sharing five simple ways we turn our own days around when we're feeling overwhelmed, frustrated, or stuck, along with real examples from our lives that have helped us respond differently. If you've ever felt like a bad morning means the whole day is ruined, this conversation is for you. Key Topics Covered: How to identify and reframe unhelpful thought patterns before they spiral Why taking one small action today is more powerful than waiting for tomorrow How clearly communicating your needs can reduce resentment at home Simple ways to build momentum by changing your environment or routine How gratitude and remembering you're on the same team can shift your perspective LINKS AND RESOURCES: BETTERHELP: 10% off first month at: http://betterhelp.com/herself HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcast Let’s connect! HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcast HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast MEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskiefer MEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen This episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.
July 27 · 51 min
348: The Longevity Tips Every Woman Needs to Hear with Carmen Stansberry, NP
Feeling like yourself again often starts with zooming out instead of chasing the latest wellness trend. In this conversation, we sit down with Nurse Practitioner Carmen Stansberry to explore the bigger picture of women's health that focuses on the idea of longevity vs a quick fix. We cover everything, from finding the right healthcare provider to understanding hormones, inflammation, sleep, and the daily habits that have the biggest impact over time. If you've been wondering where to start when you don't feel your best, this conversation offers practical guidance to help you make informed decisions and focus on what truly moves the needle. Key Topics Covered: How to find a qualified healthcare provider who looks at the full picture instead of offering quick fixes What heart rate variability (HRV) can reveal about stress, hormones, and overall health The truth about peptides, GLP-1s, and why personalized care matters How inflammation affects aging and simple ways to reduce it through everyday habits What to know about hormone therapy, hair health, collagen, and protein as you get older The best longevity tips for women CONNECT WITH CARMEN: Follow Carmen on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carmen.stansberry.np LINKS AND RESOURCES: LMNT: Free Sample Pack with purchase: drinkLMNT.com/HERSELF MARY RUTH HAIR SUPPLEMENT: https://amzlink.to/az0kELnE6fNiV Check out episode 342: Our Unfiltered Thoughts About Turning 40, where we talk about aging and our thoughts on it: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/herself/id1489878793?i=1000772765470 Let’s connect! HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcast HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast MEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskiefer MEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen This episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.
July 20 · 42 min
347: If the Summer Feels Overwhelming, Start Here
Summer can be one of the most fun seasons of the year, but it can also leave us feeling stretched thin. Today we're talking through the biggest sources of overwhelm our community is experiencing right now, from changing routines and packed schedules to messy houses and the pressure to make summer feel magical. We share simple mindset shifts and practical strategies that can help us adjust our expectations, focus on what matters most, and create a summer that actually works for our families. Key Topics Covered: How to create consistent routines even when every week looks different Creative ways to make summer logistics easier, including carpools and sharing responsibilities with other families Why boredom can be a gift and how to encourage kids to solve it on their own How to find a balance between planning enough and overscheduling your family Letting go of guilt and remembering that kids often treasure the simplest moments most LINKS AND RESOURCES: BETTERHELP: 10% off first month at: http://betterhelp.com/herself AMAZON STOREFRONT: https://amzlink.to/az0BrkLl5pX9u Let’s connect! HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcast HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast MEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskiefer MEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen This episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.
July 13 · 39 min
346: Your In-law Issues Uncovered: Boundaries, Expectations and Listener Write-in's
Marriage doesn't just bring two people together. It also brings together different families, expectations, traditions, and experiences. Today we're talking honestly about some of the most common challenges that come with in-law relationships, from feeling the weight of comparison to navigating boundaries and unmet expectations. While we can't solve every complicated family dynamic, we hope this conversation reminds you that your feelings are valid, you're not alone, and you and your partner can work together to build the family culture you want. Key Topics Covered: Why comparison between grandparents is natural and how to appreciate different ways of showing love How healthy boundaries protect relationships instead of damaging them Ways couples can stay united when navigating difficult family dynamics Practical ideas for handling extended visits, grandparent favoritism, and differing expectations Why speaking up gives family members the opportunity to make positive changes LINKS AND RESOURCES: LMNT: Free Sample Pack with purchase: drinkLMNT.com/HERSELF Join us at Tricky Foods in Madison, WI on Thursday, July 30th for Moms’ Night Out! Learn more and get your ticket here: https://www.herselfpodcast.com/shop/p/herself-moms-night-out-1 Let’s connect! HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcast HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast MEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskiefer MEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen This episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.
July 6 · 48 min
345: The Career Advice Every Woman Needs to Hear with Colleen Bordeaux
Whether you're climbing the corporate ladder, building a business, negotiating a raise, or wondering if it's time for a career change, this conversation is full of practical advice for every stage of your professional journey. We sit down with leadership coach and Growth Inc. founder Colleen Bordeaux to talk about redefining success, advocating for yourself, navigating burnout, and building a career that actually fits your life. If you've ever felt overlooked, stuck, or unsure of your next step, this episode will help you approach your career with more confidence and clarity. Key Topics Covered: Why asking for a raise starts with owning your value How leadership requires letting go of perfectionism and control Questions to ask when you're deciding whether to stay or leave your current role Why your career doesn't have to follow a traditional path A different way to think about burnout and creating a more fulfilling career CONNECT WITH COLLEEN: Growth, Inc. Instagram (@growthincubator): https://www.instagram.com/growthincubator Colleen’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/colleenbordeaux TikTok: https://www.instagram.com/growthincubator LINKS AND RESOURCES: FORAGE KITCHEN: Check out your nearest location BETTERHELP: 10% off first month at: http://betterhelp.com/herself Grab a copy of the book The Big Leap: Conquer Your Hidden Fear and Take Life to the Next Level: https://amzlink.to/az0I8iLhyyJIL Let’s connect! HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcast HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast MEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskiefer MEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen This episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.
June 29 · 27 min
344: How Often Should We Be Dating Our Spouse?
When it comes to dating your spouse, how often should you actually be going on dates? We started asking ourselves that question and quickly realized the answer depends on your relationship, your season of life, and what helps you feel connected. We share how our own approaches to dating have evolved over the years, from weekly nights out to low effort basement dates and small moments of connection throughout the week. We also dive into the research on dating your spouse, debate what actually counts as a date, and talk about why regular check-ins matter more than following someone else's rules. Key Topics Covered: The research behind dating your spouse, including the "gold standard" of weekly dates and the 2/2/2 method. Why Amy and Drew and Abby and Colin have completely different dating styles, and how their needs have evolved as their kids and schedules have changed. The debate over whether group dates count as dates and why couples may have different definitions of quality time. How to have honest conversations with your partner about feeling connected, sharing the mental load, and getting on the same page. Why meaningful connection can happen in everyday moments and does not always require elaborate plans or expensive nights out. LINKS AND RESOURCES: FORAGE KITCHEN: Check out your nearest location AMAZON STOREFRONT: https://amzlink.to/az0BrkLl5pX9u Let’s connect! HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcast HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast MEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskiefer MEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen This episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.
June 22 · 50 min
343: How To Deal With Your Sh#* So Your Kids Don't Have To with Eli Harwood
Growing up as millennials, we were often told not to be too loud, not to ask for help, and to push our feelings down. Attachment therapist and author Eli Harwood joins us to unpack how our upbringings shaped us and how we can break generational cycles as parents. Eli opens with a powerful reframe: our parents truly did the best they could with what they knew. From there, we dive deep into what childhood trauma actually looks like (and why so many of us don't recognize it as trauma), how to build resilience in our kids, and why the way we parent almost always traces back to how we were parented. Whether you struggle with patience, saying no, or knowing when to discipline versus when to have a conversation, Eli offers practical, connection-focused tools to help us show up differently for our kids. Key Topics Covered: What secure attachment looks like and why Eli centers her work on connection and relationship rather than control and behavior. How to identify the childhood experiences you may be carrying into adulthood without realizing they are traumas. Finding the middle ground between raising independent kids and raising kids who feel safe asking for help. The number one predictor of long-term resilience in children and how to actively foster it. Why millennial parents may struggle with patience, and why the birthing parent often has less of it than their non-birthing partner. Punishment versus conversation: how to rethink your approach when your child does something wrong. Why saying no feels so hard for millennial parents and what to do if you want to change that pattern. CONNECT WITH ELI: Instagram & Threads (@attachmentnerd): https://www.instagram.com/attachmentnerd/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/attachmentnerd TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@attachmentnerd Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@attachmentnerd Get Your Copy of Eli’s Book: https://amzlink.to/az09tHmrRU6NT LINKS AND RESOURCES: BETTERHELP: 10% off first month at: http://betterhelp.com/herself LMNT: Free Sample Pack with purchase: drinkLMNT.com/HERSELF Let’s connect! HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast MEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskiefer MEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen This episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.
June 15 · 33 min
342: Our Unfiltered Thoughts About Turning 40
Abby's 40th birthday served as the perfect launching pad for an honest conversation about aging and all the feelings that come with it. With most of our 30s spent raising kids, we are stepping into this new decade with a fresh perspective, and we're keeping it real about the insecurities, the mindset shifts, and the things we actively do to feel and look our best. We also explore the power of having older women in our lives as role models, share a meaningful mantra from Abby's grandma, and wrap up with a reminder that making peace with aging is so much easier when you're surrounded by people who own it unapologetically. Key Topics Covered: Finding your personal balance between embracing aging and doing the things that make you feel confident and youthful. How dressing for your changing body can support a more positive relationship with it. The reality of working out as you get older, including injuries and setbacks, and knowing you're not alone in facing them. Why surrounding yourself with people who are unapologetic about their age can shift your entire outlook. LINKS AND RESOURCES: LMNT: Free Sample Pack with purchase: drinkLMNT.com/HERSELF BETTERHELP: 10% off first month at: http://betterhelp.com/herself Patreon Book Club: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcast Hair Supplement: https://amzlink.to/az0kELnE6fNiV Let’s connect! HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast MEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskiefer MEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen This episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.
June 8 · 36 min
341: Helping Your Kids Navigate Friendships with Dr. Willough Jenkins
As parents, control feels like protection. It feels like we can prevent our kids' mistakes, soften their pain, and steer them away from decisions that might hurt them. But here's the truth: control protects us, not the relationship. In this episode, we sit down with board-certified child psychiatrist Dr. Willough Jenkins to talk about one of the trickiest parts of parenting: helping our kids navigate friendships. In this episode: Is it developmentally normal when kids suddenly want to drop a friend? How to support a child with an anxious attachment style when friendship gets hard. When (and whether) to get the other kid's parents involved. What to do when your child is hanging out with kids who don't bring out their best and being honest that our kids aren't always angels either. How to handle mean girl dynamics if you have a daughter going through it. Signs that your child may genuinely struggle with making friends, and what you can actually do about it. Tactics for staying a safe, trusted place your kids will actually come to when friendship gets tough. LINKS AND RESOURCES: Follow Dr. Willough on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drwilloughjenkins/ Dr. Willough’s Website: https://www.willoughjenkins.com/ LMNT: Free Sample Pack with purchase: drinkLMNT.com/HERSELF HERSELF PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/herselfpodcast Let’s connect! HERSELF INSTAGRAM: http://instagram.com/herselfpodcast MEET AMY: http://instagram.com/ameskiefer MEET ABBY: http://instagram.com/abbyrosegreen This episode was brought to you by the Pivot Ball Change Network.

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