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Haysnacks

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Enjoy Haysnacks, the bite-sized comedy podcast from Northwest Arkansas’s own Haystack—morning radio’s master of mischief on 106.5 KBVA and 96.7 The Bull. Each episode packs in the best moments from Haystack’s daily shows, including fan-favorite highlights, his legendary “morning six pack” top 6 lists, and the hilarious weekly phone call with his super-redneck pal, Alabama Bama. Don’t miss the Saturday “Leftovers” episode, where Haystack serves up the jokes and bits that didn’t make it on air (due to time, or because they were too weird or wild). Designed for busy listeners, Haysnacks delivers quick, snackable laughs whenever you need them—perfect for your commute, coffee break, or anytime you want a dose of fun.

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#564
Yesterday · 3 min
Electronic Shelf Labels: Dynamic Pricing at Walmart
Walmart might be quietly jacking prices while you shop — or at least that’s what a guy named Patrick claimed after a stick of butter marked $3.98 rang up higher and the manager shrugged that “prices can change” thanks to computer updates. I riff on how stores are slipping into dynamic pricing mode — electronic shelf labels, patents that could tweak prices based on what’s in your cart, even facial-recognition stuff that sounds like a casino met a grocery aisle. Walmart says “we price products, not people” and reminds us a patent doesn’t mean they’re using it, but c’mon, it still gives me vibes of my eggs trading like Bitcoin. I laugh about shoppers racing the register like Wall Street traders while I’m just trying to make an omelet. Bottom line: groceries are already pricey, and the last thing I need is my mayo calling higher when I walk by. Takeaways: I got mad about prices changing between shelf and checkout, like Walmart charging more mid-walk. I talk about Walmart installing electronic shelf labels and patents that could adjust prices based on your cart. We joke about dynamic pricing—like Uber surge for groceries, weather spikes, or facial-recognition hikes if you smile at Oreos. I point out Walmart insists they 'price products not people' and having patents doesn't mean they're using them, but it's still creepy. I'm mostly just mad that groceries feel like a casino and all I want is to make an omelet without price roulette. I riff on the idea of eggs fluctuating like Bitcoin, picturing people sprinting through Walmart like Wall Street traders while I'm trying to make a humble omelet.
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#563
Yesterday · 2 min
Morning 6-Pack - Why Boomers Should Totally Still Celebrate Halloween
83% of boomers are skipping Halloween — not because they hate it, they just aren’t participating, and I find that wild. So we hit you with a Morning 6-Pack: six dumb-good reasons why boomers should absolutely love Halloween. I riff on stuff like the joy of handing out hard candy, saving cash by going full zombie, and the undeniable utility of candy corn as fake dentures. We also joke about calling the cobwebs “decor” and ghosts being practice for the afterlife — but I’m not ruining the best punchline. Fast, silly, and way too smug about candy, this one’s short, snarky, and ready to make you laugh. Takeaways: I mention the poll: millennials 61% and Gen Z 55% plan Halloween stuff, while Gen X drops to 32%. I note that only 17% of boomers are celebrating Halloween, meaning 83% of them plan to stay in. I joke that even though about 90% of boomers say they have no objection, they still mostly skip participating. I throw out goofy reasons boomers should love Halloween — like handing out hard candy or pretending cobwebs are decorations. I rib that boomers can save money by going as a zombie, or pretend candy corn doubles as dentures for laughs.
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#562
Monday · 2 min
Morning 6-Pack - Six lazy ways to 'clean' your house
We still do the same lazy cleaning shortcuts we learned as kids — and I’m counting down the Morning 6-Pack: six hilarious ways people “clean” without actually cleaning. A new survey even says the average American leans on about five of these hacks — 40% just spray air freshener to mask smells, 37% light a candle, and a bunch of us make the bed while the rest of the room looks like a cyclone or shove everything in a closet. So yeah, adulthood = nicer furniture to hide your mess, not more responsibility. I riff through goofy ideas like painting your shower black to match the mold, adopting a long-tongued dog and squirting syrup on fixtures, and yes, even strapping a Swiffer to a cat and busting out the laser pointer. I save the wildest one for last — trust me, you’ll want to hear the finale. Takeaways: We talked about a survey where 40% of people just spray air freshener instead of finding the smell. I point out that 37% light candles, which is not cleaning but putting tiny decorative fires next to problems. We laugh that the average American uses five cleaning shortcuts, basically patch jobs instead of actual cleaning work. I joke that adulthood isn't about responsibility — it's about getting better furniture to hide the messes. Our Morning 6-Pack serves up absurd shortcuts like taping a Swiffer to the cat and syrup-on-fixtures chaos. We keep the biggest twist for last, so I won't spoil the number-one punchline here.
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#561
Monday · 3 min
Give Your Dog an Extra Hug Today — I Miss Lumen
I had to say goodbye to my dog Lumen on Friday after 16 years together. She came from the Fayetteville Animal Shelter and was absolutely terrified of cars, so road trips were basically a no-go — happy to stay in her bed and judge me from the yard. She had the funniest little life: terrified of Pupperoni in the truck, once got into a margarita and legitimately acted like she'd closed down a Mexican restaurant at 2 a.m. Her hips got so bad that walking became painful, and last week I made that awful decision every pet owner dreads because it was the kindest thing to do. Grief sucks, but if the price of 16 years of that sweet, ridiculous love is one big hurt, I’d pay it every time. So do me a favor today — hug your dog, take ’em for a walk, give ’em extra time — those dumb little moments are gonna mean everything. Takeaways: I shared how Lumen, my adopted pup from the Fayetteville Animal Shelter, was terrified of vehicles and never liked rides. Once she got into my margarita and ended up hilariously drunk—next morning she looked like she’d closed a Mexican restaurant at two a.m. After sixteen wonderful years together, I made the heartbreaking decision to say goodbye when her hips made walking unbearably painful. Grief is brutal, but I’d gladly pay that price again for sixteen years of goofy, loving memories with her. Do me a favor: hug your dog, take an extra walk, and savor those ridiculous little moments while you still can.
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#560
Friday · 3 min
Morning 6-Pack - GTA6 Ruining The American Dream?
GTA6 drops November 19 and Rockstar is hyping it as ultra-realistic — like you gotta buy gas, deal with debt, housing costs, and apparently the “modern American dream” is owning a house and paying off your credit cards. I’m not thrilled about video games turning into budget meetings — I play to steal Ferraris and blow stuff up, not to check my APR. So we busted out the Morning 6-Pack and counted down the top six things that feel like the American dream in 2026. We riff on stuff like a phone that actually folds because it’s new (not because you sat on it), ad-free Netflix, and finally having a ketchup bottle instead of a thousand McDonald’s packets. It’s quick, snarky, and full of dumb takes — we laugh at the economy so you don’t have to cry. Don’t worry, I’m not ruining the number-one thing here — you’ll have to listen for that mic-drop. Takeaways: I'm freaking out that GTA6 is trying to be 'real life' with gas stations and debt instead of pure escape. Rockstar says the story tackles economic decline, inequality, debt, and housing affordability — and yeah, that hit a nerve. I play games to steal Ferraris and jump buildings, not to worry about paying off credit cards at a 28% APR. On the Morning 6-Pack we riff on the 2026 American dream — folding phones, ad-free Netflix, ketchup bottles — but I won't spoil the top gag. The countdown is fast, sarcastic, and punchy; we toss quick jokes and leave the best punchline unspoiled so you actually have to listen.
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#559
Friday · 2 min
Is Trick or Treating Dying?
People are now paying strangers — called “Uber Treats” — to go trick-or-treating for their kids while the kids stay on the couch. I joke, but for real: you upload a pic of your kid in costume, pick basic/premium/full-size candy, track the driver as they hit houses (and skip the raisin ones), and if Reese’s are out you get “free‑range” candy corn as a substitute. I love that Halloween started centuries ago in Ireland and Scotland where kids actually had to perform a song or poem to earn candy — like an audition for sugar. America streamlined it into neighborhood pillowcase raids by the 1950s, then we moved on to trunk-or-treats and church/school events for safety and convenience. Call me nostalgic, but I miss the hustle of knowing which house handed out full-size bars — now we’ve outsourced trick-or-treating to an app. Takeaways: I point out trick-or-treating is centuries old, with roots in Ireland and Scotland, not just 1978. Back then kids had to perform songs, poems, or little routines to actually earn their Halloween treats. By the 1950s it morphed into a massive neighborhood thing—pillowcases full of candy and parents on driveways. Nowadays people favor trunk-or-treats and organized events; safer and easier, sure, but some neighborhood charm gets lost. Then I impersonate a parody 'Uber Treats' service—upload a costume pic, pick basic/premium/full-size options, track your Treater, and enjoy goofy substitution policies like free-range candy corn.
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#558
Thursday · 2 min
Haunted Economy?
Guys, the scariest thing on TV right now isn't Freddy — it's inflation, energy prices, and that spooky 10-year Treasury yield. I’ll keep it quick: when the feds borrow, they sell Treasuries, the yield is the return investors get, and when yields climb, mortgage rates and other borrowing costs usually follow. That trickles into housing, business loans, prices, and even hiring — aka real-life jump-scares way worse than a mask. Bond prices fall when yields rise, so your mortgage could feel the bite even if you’ve never touched a T-bill. We joke about CNBC’s ticker and Jim Cramer, but seriously — whispering “your adjustable rate is resetting” will creep you out more than any horror marathon. Takeaways: I say Halloween movies are tame compared to inflation, energy prices, and rising treasury yields. We learn that the 10-year Treasury yield helps set mortgage rates and other borrowing costs, so yeah, it matters. I joke that CNBC's red tickers and Jim Cramer are scarier than Freddy Krueger, but seriously, bond traders affect your mortgage. We explain simply: when existing bond prices drop, yields rise, which pushes mortgage rates up and pinches wallets. I warn: forget Freddy chasing you — hearing 'your adjustable rate mortgage is resetting' will haunt you more than horror flicks.
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#557
Thursday · 3 min
Morning 6-Pack - 6 hilariously useful ways to reuse a Pringles tube
Pringles is running a wild promo called “Once You Drop” — you can win a custom Pringles‑shaped metal urn and an after‑lifetime supply of chips (they say one can a week for 200 years, but actually hand you about $28K now). I love that this all traces back to Frederick Bauer asking to be buried in a Pringles can — iconic and weird, mission accomplished. We riff on the idea in today’s Morning 6‑Pack, tossing out six other legit and ridiculous ways to reuse those tubes. I tease a few — think sneaky flask, sad‑desk organizer, and even a DIY lie detector — but I’m not spoiling the top pick. Come for the odd marketing maneuver, stay for the dumb ideas and the laughs — we keep it fast, sarcastic, and slightly unhinged, like breakfast radio with chips. Takeaways: I break down Pringles' 'Once You Drop' promo: urn-shaped can prize, it's delightfully bonkers marketing. We explain the grand prize: two centuries' supply math — one can a week for 200 years. I mention winners actually get about twenty-eight thousand dollars up front, because mailing chips centuries later is silly. We tell the origin story: Frederick Bauer asked for his ashes in a Pringles can, and his family picked Original. I list alternate Pringles-can uses: flask, desk organizer, vase, swear jar, and homemade lie detector, but I don't spoil the number-one pick.
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#556
October 14 · 2 min
National Pet Obesity Day — I Gently Body‑Shamed a Labrador
Today is National Pet Obesity Awareness Day, so we gotta ask: is your dog Fluffy or is your dog fat? Turns out nearly 6 in 10 dogs and more than 6 in 10 cats are overweight or obese — that vet data ain't pretty. But we all lie to ourselves: when the vet says Buddy needs to lose eight pounds, we're like, "Whoa, you're body shaming a Labrador." Pets are relentless con artists — they polish off a bowl, reappear 90 seconds later acting like they survived the Dust Bowl, and cats will literally file complaints. Treats from everyone add up, so part of loving your pet is occasionally ignoring that Oscar-worthy "I've never eaten" face. We even did a goofy spoof ad for "Dogzempic" to poke fun at curbing puppy cravings so we can, you know, eat dinner in peace. Takeaways: I kicked off by saying it’s National Pet Obesity Awareness Day, so yeah, check Fluffy’s waistline. We share vet data: nearly six in ten dogs and more than six in ten cats are overweight or obese. I joke that owners always go “no, he’s fine” even when the vet says Buddy needs to lose eight pounds. We admit pets are master manipulators — nonstop begging, dramatic “I’m starving” faces, and everyone in the house secretly hands out treats. I riff on a spoof ad for ‘Dogzempic,’ poking fun at appetite-control meds and the silly idea of changing dogs instead of owners.
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#555
October 14 · 2 min
Morning 6-Pack - 6 Signs You're at a Lame Haunted House
Americans are absolutely in love with haunted houses — we literally pay to walk into a dark building where humans are employed to scare the crap out of us. I riff on why that weird business model works, from Depression-era basement scares to Disneyland’s Haunted Mansion flipping ghosts into theme-park glam and the horror-movie boom that turned chainsaws into a marketing plan. Then I pop open the Morning 6-Pack and count down the top six signs you’re at a lame haunted house — think mummies rocking Charmin logos and monsters who only moan because someone fed them Taco Bell. We poke at the psychology (that rush + the tiny voice saying you’re probably safe) and why folks drop $30 to get terrified and sign up for Round Two. It’s fast, snarky, and I save the best/worst sign for last — you’ll have to listen to hear the number one, and yeah, it’s a doozy. Takeaways: We talk about how Americans weirdly adore paid fright experiences — haunted houses are booming nationwide. I explain that haunted attractions have roots in the Great Depression and community efforts to curb destructive Halloween pranks. We give Disneyland's 1969 Haunted Mansion credit for changing the game with illusions, moving figures, and next‑level effects. I point out the 80s and 90s horror boom pushed attractions to mimic movie scares — legally distinct Jason/Freddy cousins, basically. We close with a zippy Morning 6-Pack of lame haunted house signs — we drop silly examples like taco‑bell fueled monsters, Charmin‑branded mummies, and vampire retainers, but I keep the top punchline a surprise.
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#554
October 14 · 2 min
Alabama Bama on Betting Apps
We're betting on everything — I pick up the phone and Bama announces she and her girls launched a full-on "trailer draft," basically DraftKings with more warrants, where they wager on the dumbest stuff from their lives. She’s got a big bingo bet (will an old lady win or need oxygen first — instant replay, apparently), a wager on whether a conjugal visit will turn into a “destination wedding” at a county lockup, and a favorite: who’ll knock on her door next — lover, process server, or both (yes, both). Bama brags she’s up $47.17, a carton of Newports, and partial custody of a jet ski (weekends and every other holiday — priorities). She even claims insider info about whether the courthouse has a lost-and-found just for vape pens and is already placing bets. I try to keep up and stay out of the legal trouble, but y’all, it’s chaos and I’m loving it — tune in for the full messy, hilarious unravel. Takeaways: I admit we started a 'trailer draft' betting pool and it's as chaotic as advertised. We bet on bingo outcomes like whether Grandma gets lucky or needs oxygen, and yes, replay footage was involved. I joked a conjugal visit might turn into a 'destination wedding'—three counties over counts as exotic in our world. We seriously debated if the next knock on my door is a lover, a subpoena server, or both, because why not? My current winnings: forty-seven dollars and seventeen cents, a carton of Newports, and partial custody of a jet ski.
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#553
October 13 · 2 min
Morning 6-Pack - 6 Signs Your Grandparents Are Secretly Loaded
Turns out folks 75 and older are the richest age group in America — median net worth about $505k vs $33k for people 35 and under. I stumbled on that and, yeah, it checks out: decades of house appreciation, stock market time, and kiddos who actually left the nest. So I ripped open a Morning 6-Pack and counted down six dead-giveaway signs your grandparents are low-key loaded. We hit stuff like driving a Lambo through the farmer’s market and having a Metamucil cellar (because of course), plus pickleball on an all-grass court — you get the vibe. I keep it fast, silly, and slightly savage, and I won’t spoil the top sign — you’ll have to listen for the mic-drop. Takeaways: I riff on a wild stat: households 75+ have median net worth around $505,000, for real. We point out younger households often sit near $33,000 median net worth while juggling student loans, rent, childcare costs. I remind you most of that half-million is tied up in houses and retirement accounts, not just cash in the bank. We joke that when grandma offers to help with groceries, it's part sweetness and part a low-key liquidity check on you. I run a fast Morning 6-Pack of silly signs your grandparents might be rich — think Metamucil cellars, Lambos at farmer's markets, grass-only pickleball courts, and a medic-alert punchline about curating antiquities. The whole bit is quick, sarcastic, and punchy — Haystack leaves the biggest punchline for the end, no spoilers.
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#552
October 12 · 3 min
National Farmers Day Tribute
Today — Oct. 12 — is National Farmers Day, so I’m yelling out to anyone who’s wrestled a tractor or basically puts a year’s work in the ground and prays the weather, markets, bugs and politics behave. I run through how farmers are simultaneously a mechanic, a vet, an accountant, a meteorologist, a logistics manager and, apparently, professional gamblers — because yeah, you plant and then hope. This time of year it’s perfect to notice them: combines are rolling, harvest is full-on, and these folks are working before sunrise and long after dark while we whine about DoorDash taking 45 minutes. I remind everyone food doesn’t start at Walmart — it starts with somebody looking at dirt and saying, “I can work with this.” Then we tip our hats and play the Paul Harvey “So God Made a Farmer” speech he gave to the FFA in 1978 — the classic homage that sums up why these people deserve a heck of a lot more thanks (and maybe coffee). Takeaways: I pointed out farmers wear more hats than anyone: mechanic, vet, accountant, meteorologist, logistics manager and gambler. We reminded everyone National Farmers Day (Oct 12) is the perfect time to appreciate the harvest hustle and those long, tireless hours. I joked about DoorDash delays while farmers work before dawn to after dark producing the food DoorDash eventually delivers to our door. We included Paul Harvey's 1978 'So God Made a Farmer' speech as the ultimate homage to farmers' grit, humor, and stubborn kindness. I marveled at farmers' faith: they plant a year's work and basically gamble on weather, markets, fuel, insects, and politics.
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#551
October 12 · 3 min
Morning 6-Pack - Old-School Social Trends I’m Calling Back
I’m counting down the Morning 6-Pack — six old-school social trends that I swear should make a comeback. We zip through stuff like gathering around the radio, rocking top hats like it ain’t a stage prop, writing Victorian-style notes instead of “u up?”, snapping pics with real cameras at concerts, and waking to the glorious, relentless clang of an old alarm clock. I keep it fast, snarky, and full of dumb jokes — the kind of banter that sounds like your goofy uncle at Thanksgiving. No spoilers on the big finale — you gotta listen for that one. Come for the nostalgia, stay for the laughs and the ridiculous takes. Takeaways: We spend the episode laughing at old-school social shifts — from tattoos becoming normal to travel-ball kid chaos — and I keep poking fun at how loud and weird progress got. I hype bringing back gathering around the radio, cuz screens are killing vibes and family hangs need a glow-up. We roast modern concert phone culture, missing real cameras and actual moments instead of Polaroids and blue-light ghosts. I rant about snooze-button addiction on phones and loudly champion the merciless clang of double-belled alarm clocks. We casually drop goofy throwbacks like top hats and Victorian-era love notes — classy nonsense that’s oddly tempting to bring back.
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#550
October 12 · 1 min
We Celebrate the Guy Who Missed India (Happy Monday?)
Today is both Columbus Day and Indigenous Peoples Day — so yeah, we’re celebrating the dude who “discovered” America and the folks who were already here. I joke about Columbus thinking he’d sailed to India and, spoiler, he missed it by, like, 9,000 miles. I remind people that Indigenous ancestors have been here for thousands of years, so the whole “Indians” mix-up is wild. I wish you a Happy Columbus Day and/or Indigenous Peoples Day. And if none of that does it for you, hey — Happy Monday. Takeaways: I point out that today is officially Columbus Day and, in many places, also Indigenous Peoples Day — which is hilariously contradictory. We joke that Columbus “discovered” America even though Indigenous peoples had been here thousands of years before, so yeah, awkward. I roast Columbus for thinking he reached India, even though he missed it by about nine thousand miles — classic navigation fail. I wrap up with a shrug: celebrate Columbus, celebrate Indigenous Peoples, or celebrate neither — either way, happy Monday.
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#549
October 9 · 3 min
Morning 6-Pack - Stuff You Should Only Buy at Sam's Club
Sam's Club basically runs how we live now — people are literally putting garage doors straight into their pantries so they can unload bulk like it’s a sport. So we barreled through a Morning 6-Pack of the six things you should only ever buy at Sam’s Club (yep, we’re being dramatic and proud). I riff on how bulk shopping forces you to add fridges, chest freezers, and industrial shelving to your house plan, and why losing reading glasses is apparently a regional pastime. We tease a few no-brainers — rotisserie chickens, Goldfish, a giant ibuprofen tub — and joke about buying paper towels like you’re prepping for the apocalypse. Stick around for the top spot — I’m not giving that away, but it’s gloriously ridiculous and worth the trip. Takeaways: I quip that Sam's Club basically changes house design — think pantry doors, extra fridges, and loading docks. We put Halloween candy on the list: buy huge bags for trick-or-treaters and secretly hoard the good stuff. I rave that Sam's Club rotisserie chickens beat grocery prices so badly it feels like culinary highway robbery. We recommend stocking up on practical junk — four-packs of reading glasses and giant Goldfish tubs are household essentials. I tease a wild finale surprise you gotta hear yourself — I’m not about to spoil the top pick.
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#548
October 9 · 2 min
California Karen vs Mariachi
A guy plans this perfect ocean-overlook proposal with white roses, candles and a mariachi band — and some neighborhood Karen strolls in to boo the romance, yelling about permits and even shouting “go back to Mexico.” I mean, who shows up to a sunset proposal armed with complaints and civic rage? She threatens to call the cops, lectures them about park rules, and her dog literally drops a souvenir on the lawn while she rants. But the couple? They kept calm, he proposed, she said yes, and the mariachis kept playing — now their engagement video doubles as a reality doc with a villain cameo. I’m just imagining them watching that forever and laughing (or crying) every time the angry lady screams in stereo. Takeaways: I laughed that the guy planned a perfect proposal but forgot to book neighborhood security. We watched an Ocean Overlook proposal with white roses, candles, and a mariachi band interrupted by a Karen. I can't believe someone threatened to call cops over a sunset proposal, insisting they needed a permit. We saw the absolute timing: her dog drops a steaming gift on the lawn while lovers say yes. Best part: they kept the mariachi, got engaged, and now their video doubles as a Netflix-style villain documentary.
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#547
October 8 · 2 min
Skip the Five Trips — My Dream Sam's Club Door Plan
People are literally designing houses around Costco/Sam’s Club — yep, that tiny 2x2 “Sam’s Club door” that drops you from the garage straight into the pantry. I riff on how it lets you shove the 30-pack of sparkling water, industrial olive oil, and giant bags of rice into your house without five trips or losing circulation in your fingers. A contractor even says about half his customers ask for one, and it’s apparently like a grand to add during construction — ridiculous until you’ve wrestled a Sam’s Club haul. I poke fun about future listings touting “direct rotisserie access” and even break into a goofy do-do-do jingle about cutting a hole in the pantry. Quick, relatable, and low-effort solutions for people who buy bulk like it’s a lifestyle choice. Takeaways: I learned people are adding a tiny "Sam's Club door" from garage straight into the pantry. It's basically a two-by-two-foot hatch and builders say it costs about a thousand dollars to add. We laughed about skipping the mudroom and avoiding five trips or the classic 'lost circulation in three fingers' struggle when unloading giant bulk hauls. Sam's Club and Costco are basically shaping house design now; someday listings might even brag 'direct rotisserie access'. One contractor told us about half of his customers ask for that door once they see it, apparently. I even couldn't resist singing a goofy jingle about cutting a pantry hole and hiring a contractor to unload faster.
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#546
October 8 · 3 min
Morning 6-Pack - Top 6 Ways to Stay Safe Anywhere
Arkansas landed 46th on WalletHub’s Safest States list — yeah, fifth from the bottom, not exactly honor-roll material. WalletHub used 52 different metrics (crime, road safety, financial security, workplace safety, emergency preparedness — the whole shebang), so this is more than just “who’s got nicer sidewalks.” New England basically cleaned house — Vermont, Massachusetts, Maine, New Hampshire and Connecticut topped the list — while Mississippi finished dead last (thank God for Mississippi, right?). So we cracked open a Morning 6-Pack: six quick, funny ways to stay safe no matter what state you’re in. I give some legit tips, some dumb jokes, and save the best punchline for the end — not spoiling the #1, you’ll have to hear it. Tune in for fast laughs, straight talk, and a countdown that might actually help you avoid trouble (or at least make you laugh while you try). Takeaways: I laughed, but WalletHub's study actually put Arkansas 46th overall, so yeah, not great. We noted the five safest states are basically New England vibes: Vermont, Massachusetts, Maine, New Hampshire, Connecticut. They used fifty-two metrics including crime, road safety, financial security, workplace safety, and emergency preparedness to rank states. Our Morning 6-Pack shared quick, silly safety tips — like look both ways when Tiger's driving and carry pepper spray. I won't spoil the top tip here, but trust me, its delivery was the show's best punchline.
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#545
October 8 · 1 min
She roasted kids’ haircuts and asked for weed — allegedly
A woman in Milwaukee is accused of pretending to be a substitute teacher at Rufus King High School — and yeah, students say she walked in blasting rap, dissed kids about weight, race, looks and money, and even asked if anyone had a vape or weed. I mean, we’re talking substitute or drunk uncle at Thanksgiving? How does someone get past sign-in and into third period looking for blunts instead of teaching fractions? The kids complained and got the classic skeptical grown-up response — “whatever, go back” — so of course the real teacher comes back and asks what they learned. Their answer? No algebra, but they now know what a quarter and an eighth are. So hey, maybe not the math lesson they wanted, but technically… we did learn fractions. Takeaways: I riff on a Milwaukee woman accused of pretending to be a substitute at Rufus King High School, according to Fox 6. Students say she blasted loud rap, insulted kids' looks, race and money, and even asked if anyone had weed. I joke that she felt more like a drunk uncle at Thanksgiving than an actual teacher—total chaos. We poke fun at the school's security lapse — how did she get past sign-in and into third period? Despite the mess, I tease that students technically learned fractions when she asked for a quarter and an eighth.
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