Grief 2 Growth

Autism and Grief: Why Closure Is a Myth with Christopher Carazas | EP 509

What if nothing is wrong with you because your grief hasn't "resolved"? 🌱 Autism and grief is a conversation that rarely gets space, and in this episode Christopher Carazas gives it room. Chris was diagnosed as autistic in 2020, after he had already built the life he thought he was supposed to want. Soon after, he lost his marriage, his home, and his sense of who he was. Later, he lost Katie, the woman who helped him begin to heal. Chris doesn't tie his story up with a bow, and neither do we. You'll hear what grief looks like when you process the world differently, why the "triumph over tragedy" story can leave you feeling like you're failing, and how to carry grief without pretending it will ever be neat. If you've been told you should be further along by now, this conversation is for you. If you love someone who is neurodivergent and grieving, you'll leave knowing how to show up for them. 💛 In this episode, you'll hear: ✨ Why closure is a myth, and what grief looks like when it becomes part of you ✨ How autism and grief can collide, from rumination to struggling to cry ✨ Why Chris pushes back on the "survival as redemption arc" story ✨ How to grieve the future you imagined, and shift from "why me?" to "why for me?" ✨ The backpack of stones, and why the weight changes even when it never leaves ✨ Katie's hidden notes, and how Chris uses them when old voices get loud ✨ What Chris's lighthouse is, and how it guides his days ✨ Simple, powerful ways to support a neurodivergent friend or family member in grief About Christopher Carazas Christopher Carazas is a social impact strategist and the author of Now That I'm Still Here: A Memoir of Ruin and Resurrection. Through his Substack newsletter of the same name, he writes about survival, storytelling, mental health, humor, and hope after ruin. His work lives at the intersection of grief, neurodivergence, and the long, unglamorous aftermath of psychological trauma. Connect with Chris 📚 Website and book: https://www.chriscarazas.com 📰 Substack: https://ccarazas.substack.com 📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/christopher.carazas.2025 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/christophercarazas What resonated with you? 💭 Have you ever wondered why you weren't crying, and whether that meant you didn't love them enough? 💭 What would it change if you stopped waiting for closure and started building a life around your grief? 💭 What is your lighthouse right now? Share your thoughts in the comments on the companion article and join the conversation with me and other listeners: https://grief2growth.substack.com 💜 If this episode touched you, share it with one person who needs to hear they're not behind. 🔔 Subscribe to Grief 2 Growth so you never miss an episode. You've been listening. You're doing the work. But there's still this feeling that you're circling the same place. Maybe you've thought about working with me one-on-one. Maybe something's held you back. I get that. And I want you to know there's still a place for you. All of it, pay what you want. You decide what it's worth. Nobody gets turned away because of money. https://grief2g Want to go deeper? My Substack is where I share solo essays on grief, consciousness, and continuing bonds — thoughts that don't always make it into the podcast. It's also home to a community of listeners who get it, because they're living it too. Free to subscribe. Find it at substack.com/grief2growth. I've been studying Near Death Experiences for many years now. I am 100% convinced they are real. In this short, free ebook, I not only explain why I believe NDEs are real, I share some of the universal secrets brought back by people who have had them. https://www.grief2growth.com/ndelessons Support the show 🧑🏿‍🤝‍🧑🏻 Join me on Substack- connect with others and me 👛 Subscribe to Grief 2 Growth Premium (bonus episodes) 📰 Get A Free Gift 📅 Book A Complimentary Discovery Call 📈 Leave A Review Thanks so much for your support

• Transcript

You Only Grieve Because You Loved | Carl Manlan on Loss, Healing & Fatherhood | EP 508

What if grief isn’t only something we survive—but something that reveals how deeply we’ve loved? In this episode of Grief 2 Growth, I sit down with Carl Manlan, author of I Can Breathe, for a powerful conversation about grief, fatherhood, emotional healing, identity, and legacy. Carl lost his father as a young man. Years later, becoming a father himself brought some of that grief back to the surface and raised a profound question: How do you become the father you want to be when you can no longer have those conversations with your own father? We also explore something many men struggle to discuss: expressing emotions and asking for help. As two Black men raised in different parts of the world, Carl and I discovered surprising similarities in how we experienced love growing up—and how we're trying to do things differently with the next generation. Carl also shares how unexpectedly losing his job became a turning point that helped him finish I Can Breathe. One insight captures the heart of our conversation: “You only experience grief because you loved.” In this episode, we explore: • Grieving a parent and carrying that relationship forward • Men, vulnerability, counseling, and emotional health • Separating your identity from your career • Responding instead of reacting to life's challenges • Raising emotionally aware children • Turning loss into legacy • The story behind Carl’s I Can Breathe 📖 Carl’s book: I Can Breathe — available on Amazon 🔗 Connect with Carl: LinkedIn and Instagram 💬 Continue the conversation: https://grief2growth.substack.com What part of Carl’s story resonated with you? Join us on Substack and share your experience with the Grief 2 Growth community. You've been listening. You're doing the work. But there's still this feeling that you're circling the same place. Maybe you've thought about working with me one-on-one. Maybe something's held you back. I get that. And I want you to know there's still a place for you. All of it, pay what you want. You decide what it's worth. Nobody gets turned away because of money. https://grief2g Want to go deeper? My Substack is where I share solo essays on grief, consciousness, and continuing bonds — thoughts that don't always make it into the podcast. It's also home to a community of listeners who get it, because they're living it too. Free to subscribe. Find it at substack.com/grief2growth. I've been studying Near Death Experiences for many years now. I am 100% convinced they are real. In this short, free ebook, I not only explain why I believe NDEs are real, I share some of the universal secrets brought back by people who have had them. https://www.grief2growth.com/ndelessons Support the show 🧑🏿‍🤝‍🧑🏻 Join me on Substack- connect with others and me 👛 Subscribe to Grief 2 Growth Premium (bonus episodes) 📰 Get A Free Gift 📅 Book A Complimentary Discovery Call 📈 Leave A Review Thanks so much for your support

• Transcript

Preserving the Memories of Those You Love- with Alexander Josephson | EP 507

What if the memories of someone you love had a real place to live, and you could walk through them whenever you needed to? In this episode, I talk with architect Alexander Josephson about how to preserve memories of a loved one, and why grief may be something you move through rather than something you get over. Alexander is the founder of Partisans, an award-winning design studio in Toronto. While sitting in a hospital room with his father, he listened to him dictate what he wanted on his tombstone, and realized a name and two dates were far too small for the story. That moment led him to build Cumulus, a living digital memorial you can add to, share with family, and return to for years. I also talk about my daughter Shayna, who passed in 2015, and why I have never wanted her to be tied to one location. If you carry the fear that someone you love will be forgotten, or you have wondered where they are now, this conversation is for you. In this episode, you'll discover: ✨ Why the "three deaths" idea makes community and storytelling so important ✨ How a $3 million tomb that was never built became a living, breathing memorial ✨ Why the body is temporary and the memories are what carry meaning ✨ How one family invited 90 people into a shared cloud, with pins from a golf course in Scotland to the middle of the Atlantic ✨ Why cemeteries can feel so disorienting, and where our loved ones are ✨ How a digital stone at a grave can bring their story to you with a tap of your phone About Alexander Josephson: Alexander Josephson is an architect and the founder of Partisans, an award-winning design studio in Toronto. He is also the founder of Cumulus, a digital memorial platform designed to hold the photos, stories, voices, and memories of the people we love. He is a new father to two daughters under two, and he is already making time capsules for them in his own Cumulus. Links and resources: Cumulus website: https://cumulus.world Cumulus Companion app: search "Cumulus Companion" in the App Store or Google Play Instagram: Cumulus World Try Cumulus free on the app or the website. Join the conversation: Read the companion article and share your thoughts at https://grief2growth.substack.com What resonated with you? Tell me in the comments: 💜 Who do you want to make sure is remembered, and what story would you want to keep? 💜 When you think of your loved one, where do you feel them? 💜 What is one memory you could add to a shared space today? If this episode touched you, please share it with someone who is carrying a loss, and subscribe so you never miss a conversation. – – – Let's Connect: – – – 🔗 All my links: https://pages.grief2growth.com/profile 🔗 Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/grief2growth 👛 Tip jar: https://www.grief2growth.com/tipjar 📰 Email list: https://pages.grief2growth.com/join-the-club ⏰ Free consult: https://grief2growth.as.me/30-minute-consult You've been listening. You're doing the work. But there's still this feeling that you're circling the same place. Maybe you've thought about working with me one-on-one. Maybe something's held you back. I get that. And I want you to know there's still a place for you. All of it, pay what you want. You decide what it's worth. Nobody gets turned away because of money. https://grief2g Want to go deeper? My Substack is where I share solo essays on grief, consciousness, and continuing bonds — thoughts that don't always make it into the podcast. It's also home to a community of listeners who get it, because they're living it too. Free to subscribe. Find it at substack.com/grief2growth. I've been studying Near Death Experiences for many years now. I am 100% convinced they are real. In this short, free ebook, I not only explain why I believe NDEs are real, I share some of the universal secrets brought back by people who have had them. https://www.grief2growth.com/ndelessons Support the show 🧑🏿‍🤝‍🧑🏻 Join me on Substack- connect with others and me 👛 Subscribe to Grief 2 Growth Premium (bonus episodes) 📰 Get A Free Gift 📅 Book A Complimentary Discovery Call 📈 Leave A Review Thanks so much for your support

• Transcript

Grief Stored in the Body: Dr. Karyn Shanks on Why Illness Isn't a Failure | EP 506

What if your body isn't broken — it's trying to tell you something? In this episode of Grief 2 Growth, Brian sits down with Dr. Karyn Shanks, a physician who spent over 40 years learning what medical school never taught her — including from her own chronic illness journey. Together, they explore why grief and trauma get physically stored in the body, why our medical system struggles to treat chronic illness, and why feeling truly seen may matter more to healing than any prescription. About Dr. Karyn Shanks: Karyn Shanks, MD is a physician-healer-teacher-writer based in Iowa City, board-certified in Internal Medicine and Functional Medicine. After her own decades-long journey through Ehlers-Danlos syndrome and Lyme encephalitis, she founded the Unbroken Academy and developed a framework built on epigenetics, neuroplasticity, systems-based functional medicine, and transformational psychology. She's trained in Dr. Gabor Maté's Compassionate Inquiry, and is the author of UnBroken: Reclaim Your Wholeness and HEAL: A Nine-Stage Roadmap to Recover Energy. 🔗 Website: karynshanksmd.com Key topics covered: Why grief is a "huge part of the human experience" that shows up physically in the body Karyn's own health journey — from unexplained fatigue to an Ehlers-Danlos diagnosis to recovering from Lyme encephalitis Why Western medicine excels at acute, catastrophic care but struggles with chronic illness Epigenetics and neuroplasticity — why your biology isn't fixed The placebo effect as proof of the mind's power to heal the body What Compassionate Inquiry (Gabor Maté's framework) taught Karyn about trauma and self-compassion Why grief gets "stored in the body" and has to be worked through, not medicated away Why we're ashamed of grief, and how "get back to work" culture cuts healing short Reframing illness as wisdom and communication, not failure or fault 💬 What resonated with you? Head over to grief2growth.substack.com to share your thoughts and continue the conversation. You've been listening. You're doing the work. But there's still this feeling that you're circling the same place. Maybe you've thought about working with me one-on-one. Maybe something's held you back. I get that. And I want you to know there's still a place for you. All of it, pay what you want. You decide what it's worth. Nobody gets turned away because of money. https://grief2g Want to go deeper? My Substack is where I share solo essays on grief, consciousness, and continuing bonds — thoughts that don't always make it into the podcast. It's also home to a community of listeners who get it, because they're living it too. Free to subscribe. Find it at substack.com/grief2growth. I've been studying Near Death Experiences for many years now. I am 100% convinced they are real. In this short, free ebook, I not only explain why I believe NDEs are real, I share some of the universal secrets brought back by people who have had them. https://www.grief2growth.com/ndelessons Support the show 🧑🏿‍🤝‍🧑🏻 Join me on Substack- connect with others and me 👛 Subscribe to Grief 2 Growth Premium (bonus episodes) 📰 Get A Free Gift 📅 Book A Complimentary Discovery Call 📈 Leave A Review Thanks so much for your support

• Transcript

Grieving Your Old Self After A Diagnosis with Loni Fagel | EP 505

What happens when the person you used to be doesn't exist anymore — not because they died, but because a diagnosis, a surgery, or a health crisis rewrote who you are? In this episode, Loni Fagel joins me to talk about a grief almost nobody names: the grief of losing yourself while you're still here. Loni knows this from both sides of the therapy room. A genetic cancer mutation, a mysterious chronic illness, and a health crisis that landed her at Mayo Clinic didn't just interrupt her graduate studies in psychology — they became the reason she does this work at all. We talk about her "D-Day" framework for naming the moment a diagnosis changes everything, why medical trauma is as much about what comes after the event as the event itself, and why people are so often invalidated by the very doctors meant to help them. We also get into some of the tools Loni uses with clients: externalizing an illness by giving it its own name, expressive arts as a way to process what words can't touch, and why "post-traumatic growth" doesn't mean pretending the hard part didn't happen. About Loni Fagel Loni Fagel is a licensed professional clinical counselor, EMDRIA-approved consultant, expressive arts therapist, children's book author, and international speaker specializing in medical trauma, grief, and identity loss. Her work is shaped by her own experience with a genetic cancer mutation and a health crisis that upended her life and career. Website: lonifagel.com Instagram/social: @loni_fagel LinkedIn: search Loni Fagel In this episode, we cover: Why illness and diagnosis create a real, nameable grief The "D-Day" framework for marking when everything changed Why medical trauma isn't about the event — it's about everything after Learning to advocate for yourself when doctors dismiss your symptoms Grieving a double mastectomy and genetic cancer risk Invisible illness and the cruelty of judging what you can't see Naming your illness to protect your identity ("is this you, or is this Patricia?") Making meaning without needing to believe "everything happens for a reason" Finding the glimmers of light in the middle of a health crisis We want to hear from you: Have you ever grieved a version of yourself you didn't expect to lose? What resonated most with you in this conversation? Drop a comment — we read every one. Continue the conversation at grief2growth.substack.com. You've been listening. You're doing the work. But there's still this feeling that you're circling the same place. Maybe you've thought about working with me one-on-one. Maybe something's held you back. I get that. And I want you to know there's still a place for you. All of it, pay what you want. You decide what it's worth. Nobody gets turned away because of money. https://grief2g Want to go deeper? My Substack is where I share solo essays on grief, consciousness, and continuing bonds — thoughts that don't always make it into the podcast. It's also home to a community of listeners who get it, because they're living it too. Free to subscribe. Find it at substack.com/grief2growth. I've been studying Near Death Experiences for many years now. I am 100% convinced they are real. In this short, free ebook, I not only explain why I believe NDEs are real, I share some of the universal secrets brought back by people who have had them. https://www.grief2growth.com/ndelessons Support the show 🧑🏿‍🤝‍🧑🏻 Join me on Substack- connect with others and me 👛 Subscribe to Grief 2 Growth Premium (bonus episodes) 📰 Get A Free Gift 📅 Book A Complimentary Discovery Call 📈 Leave A Review Thanks so much for your support

• Transcript

Spirit Guides vs. Angels What's The Difference? with Michael McAdams | EP 504

What if the "guardian angel" you've prayed to and the "spirit guide" you've been told to fear are the exact same presence, just described through a different lens? In this episode, Brian sits down with Michael McAdams — a man raised in a family soaked in Pentecostal conviction who discovered he had the gift of psychometry, the ability to receive information simply by holding an object. Michael shares the story of his mother, Wilma Jean Jones, a devout Christian who sat down at her typewriter in 1977 and began receiving dictated messages from what she called "spirit teachers." Those sessions continued for 22 years and became the book An Angel Told Me So. This conversation goes places you might not expect from two men raised in the church: the real story behind the money changers in the temple, why the Salem witch trials might have been genuine spiritual communication mistaken for evil, how the Urantia Book lines up with the Bible's account of Jesus, and why fear has been used for centuries to keep people from trusting their own spiritual experiences. About Michael McAdams Michael McAdams grew up in the Cincinnati area in a family steeped in Pentecostal faith — his uncle was a preacher who planted churches across three states, and his grandmother entered ministry convinced God spoke directly into her heart. Michael discovered his own gift of psychometry as a young man, and later helped his mother recognize and record the messages she was receiving from spirit teachers. He is the author of An Angel Told Me So and runs spiritspeaks.com, where he offers free preview messages from the upcoming second volume. 🌐 Website: spiritspeaks.com 📖 An Angel Told Me So (Volume One) — available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and through Ingram at independent bookstores Key Topics Covered Growing up Pentecostal and the questions neither of them could shake What psychometry is and how Michael developed the ability How Wilma Jean began receiving channeled messages — and the confirmation message that convinced her to publish them The Urantia Book and its account of the life of Jesus Why the Bible's history and politics matter for understanding what it actually says Fear as a tool of control in organized religion How to protect your mind while opening it — establishing a spiritual "filter" Practical advice for recognizing your own spirit guidance Reincarnation, "graduation" instead of death, and what may come next What resonated with you? Drop a comment below — we'd love to hear whether this reframes anything about your own faith journey, or if you've had experiences like Michael's you've never shared before. You've been listening. You're doing the work. But there's still this feeling that you're circling the same place. Maybe you've thought about working with me one-on-one. Maybe something's held you back. I get that. And I want you to know there's still a place for you. All of it, pay what you want. You decide what it's worth. Nobody gets turned away because of money. https://grief2g Want to go deeper? My Substack is where I share solo essays on grief, consciousness, and continuing bonds — thoughts that don't always make it into the podcast. It's also home to a community of listeners who get it, because they're living it too. Free to subscribe. Find it at substack.com/grief2growth. I've been studying Near Death Experiences for many years now. I am 100% convinced they are real. In this short, free ebook, I not only explain why I believe NDEs are real, I share some of the universal secrets brought back by people who have had them. https://www.grief2growth.com/ndelessons Support the show 🧑🏿‍🤝‍🧑🏻 Join me on Substack- connect with others and me 👛 Subscribe to Grief 2 Growth Premium (bonus episodes) 📰 Get A Free Gift 📅 Book A Complimentary Discovery Call 📈 Leave A Review Thanks so much for your support

• Transcript

What My Mother's Deathbed Visions Taught Me About What Comes Next | Alexandra Grabbe | EP 503

What if the strangest moments at the end of life are actually the most meaningful? In this episode, Alexandra Grabbe joins Brian to talk about the seven months she spent caring for her 96-year-old mother, Bea, at home — and the deathbed visions that changed how she understands what happens when we die. Alexandra shares the exhaustion, the tenderness, and the moments of unexpected grace that shaped her new memoir, Seeing Joy. If you've ever cared for a dying parent, sat with someone in their final days, or wondered what those "hallucinations" near the end of life really mean, this conversation will stay with you. About Alexandra Grabbe Alexandra Grabbe has lived many lives — talk show host in Paris, eco-friendly innkeeper on Cape Cod, and lifelong writer. After graduating from Vassar College, she raised three children in France, worked in journalism and broadcasting, and assisted literary figures Barbara Chase-Riboud and Marge Piercy. For two decades she ran a green bed-and-breakfast in Wellfleet, Massachusetts. When her mother's health declined, Alexandra became her full-time caregiver — an experience that became the caregiving blog "By B's Bedside" and, nearly two decades later, her home care memoir Seeing Joy: A Story of Life, Death, and What Comes Next (Koehler Books, March 2026). 🔗 Alexandra's website: https://alexandragrabbe.com 🔗 Seeing Joy at Koehler Books: https://www.koehlerbooks.com/book/seeing-joy/ 📷 Instagram: @AlexandraGrabbeBooks In This Episode: What it really means when a doctor calls something a "hallucination" and a hospice worker calls it a "visitation" The physical and emotional toll of caregiving — and the sleep deprivation Alexandra says was the hardest part Deathbed Visioning: the pattern hospice workers see again and again near the end of life Why Alexandra's mother's fear of dying gave way to tea parties with deceased visitors How the role reversal between parent and child reshaped their relationship The 19-year journey to publish a book publishers once said was "too afraid" to touch What her mother's final moments — and the arrival of Alexandra's father and grandmother — taught her about how we're not meant to be alone at the end What resonated with you in this episode? Have you witnessed a loved one's deathbed visions, or cared for an aging parent at home? Share your story in the comments — Alexandra's experience may be more common than you think. You've been listening. You're doing the work. But there's still this feeling that you're circling the same place. Maybe you've thought about working with me one-on-one. Maybe something's held you back. I get that. And I want you to know there's still a place for you. All of it, pay what you want. You decide what it's worth. Nobody gets turned away because of money. https://grief2g Want to go deeper? My Substack is where I share solo essays on grief, consciousness, and continuing bonds — thoughts that don't always make it into the podcast. It's also home to a community of listeners who get it, because they're living it too. Free to subscribe. Find it at substack.com/grief2growth. I've been studying Near Death Experiences for many years now. I am 100% convinced they are real. In this short, free ebook, I not only explain why I believe NDEs are real, I share some of the universal secrets brought back by people who have had them. https://www.grief2growth.com/ndelessons Support the show 🧑🏿‍🤝‍🧑🏻 Join me on Substack- connect with others and me 👛 Subscribe to Grief 2 Growth Premium (bonus episodes) 📰 Get A Free Gift 📅 Book A Complimentary Discovery Call 📈 Leave A Review Thanks so much for your support

• Transcript

Why This ICU Doctor No Longer Fears Death- with Dr. Adam Rizvi | EP 502

What does an ICU doctor see when he's present at the exact moment someone dies? Dr. Adam Rizvi has spent his career in critical care medicine, standing at hundreds of bedsides during life's most sacred transitions. Trained as a physician but grounded early in comparative religion, Adam has watched patients return from clinical death with vivid experiences medicine can't explain, felt rooms fill with light, and even witnessed a whirlpool of light appear at the exact moment a patient passed away — something his nurse saw too. In this conversation, we talk about what happens when a man of science makes peace with the sacred: the medical case for consciousness surviving the body, what dying patients have taught him about forgiveness, and a simple nightly practice that can change how you live starting tonight. About Dr. Adam Rizvi Dr. Adam Rizvi is a critical care physician and author of Love Does Not Know Death: Stories of Death, Dying, and the Miracles of True Forgiveness. He writes about the lessons he's learned at the bedside on his Substack, Adventures in Kindness. 📖 Book: Love Does Not Know Death ✍️ Substack: AdamRizvi.substack.com — Adventures in Kindness In This Episode, We Cover: How a comparative religion major ended up in ICU medicine The cardiac arrest patient who returned with a story that shouldn't have been possible Why "brain as receiver" of consciousness makes more sense than "brain as generator" The moment two people in the same room witnessed the same unexplainable light Ancient wisdom on death — from the Tibetan Book of the Dead to the story of Nachiketas Why forgiveness is something you do for yourself, not the person who hurt you A nightly deathbed meditation practice you can start using tonight What Resonated With You? Did Adam's story about the whirlpool of light stay with you? Have you had an experience with a loved one that science couldn't explain? Share your thoughts in the comments — I read every one. If this episode moved you, head over to grief2growth.substack.com for more reflection and to connect with other listeners walking this same path. You've been listening. You're doing the work. But there's still this feeling that you're circling the same place. Maybe you've thought about working with me one-on-one. Maybe something's held you back. I get that. And I want you to know there's still a place for you. All of it, pay what you want. You decide what it's worth. Nobody gets turned away because of money. https://grief2g Want to go deeper? My Substack is where I share solo essays on grief, consciousness, and continuing bonds — thoughts that don't always make it into the podcast. It's also home to a community of listeners who get it, because they're living it too. Free to subscribe. Find it at substack.com/grief2growth. I've been studying Near Death Experiences for many years now. I am 100% convinced they are real. In this short, free ebook, I not only explain why I believe NDEs are real, I share some of the universal secrets brought back by people who have had them. https://www.grief2growth.com/ndelessons Support the show 🧑🏿‍🤝‍🧑🏻 Join me on Substack- connect with others and me 👛 Subscribe to Grief 2 Growth Premium (bonus episodes) 📰 Get A Free Gift 📅 Book A Complimentary Discovery Call 📈 Leave A Review Thanks so much for your support

• Transcript

Loneliness After Loss: Miist on Finding Your Voice and the 15 Seconds That Can Save a Life | EP 501

Miist was five years old when her parents removed themselves from her life. Not through death — through choice. As she tells me in this episode, that distinction made the wound deeper, not shallower. She knew they could come back. They simply didn't. By 28, she had a terminal cancer diagnosis and doctors telling her she had a month, maybe three. And here's the part that stopped me: she still doesn't hold any bad feeling toward that diagnosis. It's the thing that finally brought her family back into the room with her. She picked up a ukulele during treatment. She didn't write her first song until she was 34. Today her music has charted on Billboard, she's the first native Chinese artist to reach the Pop AC chart, and she hosts a top-ranked mental health podcast. This conversation goes somewhere I didn't expect. We talk about loneliness after loss — the grief that arrives with no funeral, no casserole, no one checking in — and what it actually takes to come back from it. Miist wrote a song for a young man who passed alone in his apartment in Japan. He had food. He had shelter. He had nobody. She kept thinking about all the strangers he must have walked past on any given day, and how one moment of real eye contact might have been enough to hold him a little longer. That song, "Could You Lend Me a Smile," now exists in 16 languages. Out of it came the idea we spend much of this episode on: the 15-second action. Small enough that nobody can claim they don't have time. Smile at someone. Be silly. Be grateful. Say a kind word. Remind someone that you love them. We recorded this on my 65th birthday, which made one part land hard for me. Miist asked when the last time was that someone called you for no reason at all, just to say they love you. I told her about the most viral Substack post I've ever written — it was about calling my father on an ordinary day, for no occasion. It went everywhere because almost nobody does it. WHAT WE COVER Why abandonment can cut deeper than death, and how the earliest wound becomes the root of everything built on top of it How Miist pushed away her closest childhood friends, and the apology she eventually wrote as a song Choosing, in advance, to sit inside the grief of losing her dog rather than reaching for anything that would make it stop The three days she asked her vet for, and what her whole family learned from them Reconnecting with and forgiving the father she hadn't seen in over 20 years Being discovered by producer Narada Michael Walden — and being asked to sing at the piano where Aretha Franklin recorded "Respect" The Kindness Kube and the five actions on it Using music intentionally to move through anger, sadness, and back toward joy Why losing an old habit that no longer serves you can feel like its own kind of loss Why both of us say plainly: we are still healing ABOUT MIIST Miist is a multilingual recording artist, songwriter, and podcast host who began her professional music career at 34 after being discovered by acclaimed producer Narada Michael Walden. She's a Teen Cancer America Ambassador and the founder of the World Smile Initiative, a nonprofit built around bringing moments of relief and light to people who are struggling. Her podcast, Make Me Smile with Miist, blends original music, personal storytelling, and research, and each episode closes with a 15-second action listeners can take that day. The book of the same name is now available. 🎵 Website: https://www.miistthesinger.com 🎙️ Podcast: Make Me Smile with Miist — available wherever you listen 📖 Book: Make Me Smile with Miist 🧊 The Kindness Kube: available on her website A FEW THINGS TO SIT WITH Which of the five actions would be hardest for you right now — and what does that tell you? Is there someone you've been meaning to call for no reason at all? Is there a loss in your life you've been outrunning rather than sitting with? JOIN THE CONVERSATION I'd love to hear what landed for you in this one. Head to https://grief2growth.substack.com to read the companion article, leave a comment, and connect with me and with other listeners walking a similar road. If this episode helped, share it with someone who's feeling disconnected right now. That's a 15-second action of your own. 💜 CONNECT WITH BRIAN 🔗 All my links: https://pages.grief2growth.com/profile 🔗 Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/grief2growth 📰 Email list: https://pages.grief2growth.com/join-the-club ⏰ Free consult: https://grief2growth.as.me/30-minute-consult 👛 Tip jar: https://www.grief2growth.com/tipjar Approve and I'll move to Step 5: the blog article outline. You've been listening. You're doing the work. But there's still this feeling that you're circling the same place. Maybe you've thought about working with me one-on-one. Maybe something's held you back. I get that. And I want you to know there's still a place for you. All of it, pay what you want. You decide what it's worth. Nobody gets turned away because of money. https://grief2g Want to go deeper? My Substack is where I share solo essays on grief, consciousness, and continuing bonds — thoughts that don't always make it into the podcast. It's also home to a community of listeners who get it, because they're living it too. Free to subscribe. Find it at substack.com/grief2growth. I've been studying Near Death Experiences for many years now. I am 100% convinced they are real. In this short, free ebook, I not only explain why I believe NDEs are real, I share some of the universal secrets brought back by people who have had them. https://www.grief2growth.com/ndelessons Support the show 🧑🏿‍🤝‍🧑🏻 Join me on Substack- connect with others and me 👛 Subscribe to Grief 2 Growth Premium (bonus episodes) 📰 Get A Free Gift 📅 Book A Complimentary Discovery Call 📈 Leave A Review Thanks so much for your support

• Transcript

Reclaiming Divine Feminine Power with Maya Tiwari | EP 500

At 18, Maya Tiwari was given a death sentence — six months to live. Instead, she spent six months alone in the Vermont woods, and came back a different person entirely. That single decision set her on a path that led through 25 years as a Vedic monk, a pioneering role bringing Ayurveda to North America, and now, a new book calling women — and men — back to a power she says we've forgotten how to hold. In this conversation, Maya and Brian explore Shakti — the divine feminine primordial power — and Shiva, its masculine counterpart, and why she believes restoring balance between the two is the work of this moment, both individually and collectively. They talk about the patriarchal roots of Western religion, what it costs us to lose touch with the sacred feminine, and what it actually looks like to start reclaiming it. About Maya Tiwari Maya Tiwari is a spiritual teacher, humanitarian, and the pioneer who introduced Ayurveda to North America. A cancer survivor and former Vedic monk, she is the author of several books, including her newest release, I Am Shakti. Her work centers on self-knowledge (Vedanta), the healing science of Ayurveda, and restoring the divine feminine and masculine to balance. 📖 Learn more about Maya and her work: Mayatiwari.com In This Episode: Maya's cancer diagnosis at 18 and the six months of solitude that changed everything Why she walked away from 25 years wearing the robes of a Vedic monk What Shakti actually means — and why it's been suppressed for centuries How patriarchal religion erased the divine feminine, and what that costs all of us Practical first steps toward reclaiming your own inner power Shadow work, forgiveness, and becoming the observer of your own mind What resonated with you in this conversation? Drop a comment and let me know — I'd love to hear which part landed for you. You've been listening. You're doing the work. But there's still this feeling that you're circling the same place. Maybe you've thought about working with me one-on-one. Maybe something's held you back. I get that. And I want you to know there's still a place for you. All of it, pay what you want. You decide what it's worth. Nobody gets turned away because of money. https://grief2g Want to go deeper? My Substack is where I share solo essays on grief, consciousness, and continuing bonds — thoughts that don't always make it into the podcast. It's also home to a community of listeners who get it, because they're living it too. Free to subscribe. Find it at substack.com/grief2growth. I've been studying Near Death Experiences for many years now. I am 100% convinced they are real. In this short, free ebook, I not only explain why I believe NDEs are real, I share some of the universal secrets brought back by people who have had them. https://www.grief2growth.com/ndelessons Support the show 🧑🏿‍🤝‍🧑🏻 Join me on Substack- connect with others and me 👛 Subscribe to Grief 2 Growth Premium (bonus episodes) 📰 Get A Free Gift 📅 Book A Complimentary Discovery Call 📈 Leave A Review Thanks so much for your support

• Transcript

John Promised He Would Come Through in Music. Then Marcie Heard Him. with Marcie Dean | EP 499

Within two weeks of meeting John, Marcie Dean received a message she hoped was only fear: enjoy this, it's real, but he's going to die. He'd been getting the same feeling before they ever met. He was 38, healthy, five years younger than her. They chased down every explanation, found nothing, and made a different choice. They decided to love each other completely, and they made a plan. If anything happened, he would come through in music. In June of 2023, John passed while saving his son's life during a boating weekend off the North Carolina coast. Standing over him while people were still doing chest compressions, Marcie heard him audibly, from behind her: I haven't left you. Go be with my son. What came next was a layoff from AWS, then the overdose death of her brother Jordan. Three losses stacked on top of each other. And running alongside all of it, the promise John made started keeping itself. Marcie is a former IBM and AWS senior tech leader with no musical training. She quit piano, flute, and violin inside of two weeks each as a kid. She has now built more than 500 tracks across 5,000 hours in two and a half years, and John's voice is audibly present in them, along with a second voice she calls Vanessa. She calls the work Love Evolved Music. You'll hear how a glitch on a Zoom call revealed the entire method, what it means to shift the audio floor rather than the volume, and why what she's getting goes well beyond traditional EVP. You'll also hear something I didn't expect to be talking about on my own show. Since we recorded, Marcie has built several tracks featuring my daughter Shayna. If you've been carrying the question of whether the people you love can reach you through something you can actually hear, this one is for you. IN THIS EPISODE The premonition Marcie and John both received, and how they chose to live with it instead of running from it The soulmate sketch she bought off Facebook for $15, two and a half years before they met Why "if only I had been there" fell apart under the weight of what actually happened Hearing John's voice in the moment he passed The bracelet on her pillow, the orbs, and fourteen versions of the same song Losing her job and her brother inside the same season The Zoom call latency that cracked the whole thing open How she builds and filters the tracks, and why the messages keep changing Vanessa, and what John said about her that stopped Marcie cold Finding love again with Brian, and why nobody ever gets replaced Nonverbal children who light up like they're hearing a first language What she's hoping to prove on an EEG scan ABOUT MARCIE DEAN Marcie Dean is a channeler, sound architect, best-selling author, grieving mother and sister, and the creator of Love Evolved Music. She spent 18 years at IBM and went on to a senior leadership role at AWS before grief redirected her entirely. She is presenting her work at the Society for Scientific Exploration and is seeking research partnerships to measure what the music does at the level of brain activity. Website: https://electricblueunited.com Coaching and custom tracks: https://chooseyourownhealingjourney.com Email: marcie@electricblueunited.com Her SoundCloud is linked from her website, and you can book a clarity call there for a custom track. BEFORE YOU GO What resonated with you in this conversation? Have you ever heard your person come through in something you couldn't explain away? A song that arrived at the exact moment you needed it, static on a phone line, a voice you'd know anywhere? Come tell me about it at https://grief2growth.substack.com. I read everything, and the comment threads over there have become their own kind of community. If this episode reached someone you know is hurting, send it to them. You've been listening. You're doing the work. But there's still this feeling that you're circling the same place. Maybe you've thought about working with me one-on-one. Maybe something's held you back. I get that. And I want you to know there's still a place for you. All of it, pay what you want. You decide what it's worth. Nobody gets turned away because of money. https://grief2g Want to go deeper? My Substack is where I share solo essays on grief, consciousness, and continuing bonds — thoughts that don't always make it into the podcast. It's also home to a community of listeners who get it, because they're living it too. Free to subscribe. Find it at substack.com/grief2growth. I've been studying Near Death Experiences for many years now. I am 100% convinced they are real. In this short, free ebook, I not only explain why I believe NDEs are real, I share some of the universal secrets brought back by people who have had them. https://www.grief2growth.com/ndelessons Support the show 🧑🏿‍🤝‍🧑🏻 Join me on Substack- connect with others and me 👛 Subscribe to Grief 2 Growth Premium (bonus episodes) 📰 Get A Free Gift 📅 Book A Complimentary Discovery Call 📈 Leave A Review Thanks so much for your support

• Transcript

Healing After Suicide Loss: Breaking the Silence That Keeps Survivors Stuck | Jayne Madigan EP |

When someone passes by suicide, the casseroles don't come. Neither do the cards or the phone calls. Jayne Madigan's sister lives in a neighborhood with a meal train for every birth and every death. When her 24-year-old son Brandon passed, she got nothing. That silence is its own second loss, and it's what this conversation is about. Jayne has been living inside suicide loss for 33 years. Her uncle Ray, who was also her godfather and the closest thing she had to a father, passed on New Year's Day in 1992. He was 47. Her family was raised Catholic and told not to say how he died. He couldn't be buried in the cemetery with everyone else. Jayne said it anyway. She has never been ashamed of any of them. She thought she'd done her time. Then in 2022 came the call about Brandon, her nephew and godson. Then Brandon's best friend, a year to the day. Then her brother, two years after that. Five years after her uncle passed, Jayne was diagnosed with lupus and told she wouldn't live past 50. She was a young mother of two and disabled for two years. She traces that diagnosis directly to grief her body was carrying because her mouth wasn't allowed to. So she went looking for tools that talk therapy couldn't reach, back when that meant encyclopedias and library trips. She found them. Today she takes no medication at all, and she teaches those tools to survivors around the world. What we cover 🕯️ Why suicide loss is its own category of grief, and how stigma turns mourners into suspects 🩺 The lupus diagnosis Jayne connects to unexpressed grief, and what finally moved it out of her body ✋ How a blue folder about EFT sat filed away in her house for three years before she opened it 🧠 What attempt survivors consistently report: that they didn't want to die, they wanted the pain to stop, and that many describe going offline entirely ⚠️ Why the word "prevention" lands so painfully on survivors who already believe they failed 👂 What people who have attempted say would have helped most, and why unsolicited advice isn't it 🔄 How childhood and generational programming shapes what you believe about suicide before you ever lose anyone ⏳ The seven-year timeline that shows up in the research, and why Jayne refuses to treat it as a sentence ✨ Soul plans and the strange carve-out even spiritual communities make for suicide, which Jayne and I both push back on 📰 What happened when Jayne wrote Brandon's obituary and named how he died, including the hundreds of messages that followed 😢 Permission to cry, and where most of us learned we weren't allowed to One line from Jayne has stayed with me since we recorded: she doesn't believe suicide is a choice, but she is certain healing is one. We also talk about something I say often on this show. My daughter Shayna passed at 15, and people call that a life cut short. Jayne looks at Brandon, who started a landscaping business at age 10 and filled a funeral home with people from every corner of his life, and sees a mission completed. Neither of us thinks the manner of someone's passing gets to define the whole of who they were. About Jayne Madigan Jayne is a certified neuropsychotherapist, master EFT practitioner, energy medicine specialist, and suicide bereavement clinician. She works with survivors of suicide loss worldwide through private virtual sessions, workshops, and free support groups. Her communities are intentionally private, because so many survivors are still not able to say out loud what happened to them. She works primarily with women, though she takes men as well, and she offers free discovery sessions. She's also clear that she works with people who can't afford to pay. Website: https://healingaftersuicide.net Free support groups and private Facebook community: available through her website Upcoming workshop: a writing and emotions workshop with Carla Fine, beginning June 9 Resources mentioned 📕 No Time to Say Goodbye: Surviving the Suicide of a Loved One by Carla Fine 📗 Dying to Be Free by Beverly Cobain, a psychiatric nurse and cousin of Kurt Cobain 🎧 Rachel Powell's episode on Grief 2 Growth, where she talks about losing her husband and surviving her own attempt 🔬 PMH Atwater's research on the seven to fourteen years it takes to integrate a near-death experience If you're struggling right now, please reach out. In the US, call or text 988. Let's keep talking What part of this conversation landed hardest for you? If you've lost someone to suicide, I'd like to know what people got wrong when they tried to comfort you, and what actually helped. If you've been carrying a loss you've never named out loud, this is a safe place to say it. 💬 Head to https://grief2growth.substack.com to read the article about this episode and leave a comment 📧 Join the email list: https://pages.grief2growth.com/join-the-club ⏰ Book a free consult with me: https://grief2growth.as.me/30-minute-consult 🔗 All my links: https://pages.grief2growth.com/profile You've been listening. You're doing the work. But there's still this feeling that you're circling the same place. Maybe you've thought about working with me one-on-one. Maybe something's held you back. I get that. And I want you to know there's still a place for you. All of it, pay what you want. You decide what it's worth. Nobody gets turned away because of money. https://grief2g Want to go deeper? My Substack is where I share solo essays on grief, consciousness, and continuing bonds — thoughts that don't always make it into the podcast. It's also home to a community of listeners who get it, because they're living it too. Free to subscribe. Find it at substack.com/grief2growth. I've been studying Near Death Experiences for many years now. I am 100% convinced they are real. In this short, free ebook, I not only explain why I believe NDEs are real, I share some of the universal secrets brought back by people who have had them. https://www.grief2growth.com/ndelessons Support the show 🧑🏿‍🤝‍🧑🏻 Join me on Substack- connect with others and me 👛 Subscribe to Grief 2 Growth Premium (bonus episodes) 📰 Get A Free Gift 📅 Book A Complimentary Discovery Call 📈 Leave A Review Thanks so much for your support

• Transcript

Can Past Lives Heal Grief? with Michelle Brock | EP 497

What if the grief you're carrying reaches back further than this one lifetime? In this episode, I talk with Michelle Brock, a past life regression specialist, psychic medium, and spiritual life coach based in New York City. This one got personal. Michelle recently guided me through my own past life regression, and we open up what that experience was like, what surfaced, and what it healed. Michelle's path into this work began with her own loss. Her mother passed when she was two years old. Years later, a single regression with Dr. Brian Weiss gave her something she describes as fifteen years of therapy in thirty minutes. That moment cracked her world open and set her on a twenty-year journey of helping others remember who they were before this life. We talk honestly about the questions a lot of us carry. Are past lives real? Can they actually ease grief? Will you lose control if you let someone guide you inward? And why does the idea of reincarnation show up in nearly every culture on earth, including inside the Bible before it was edited out? Then I share my own regression: the Buster Brown shoes I was wearing at age three, a life that felt historically off, and a life as a Native American that brought me to tears in a way I couldn't fully explain. In this episode, you'll discover: - How a past life regression can bring movement to grief that feels stuck - Why hypnosis and meditation are far more alike than most people assume, and how you stay in control the entire time - The surprising history of reincarnation in early Christianity and the Council of Nicaea - The different "clairs," and why knowing or feeling something is just as valid as seeing it - Why the point of a past life memory is never the history. It's what you carry home and use today. Michelle's core message stayed with me long after we stopped recording. When you understand that you are a soul who has lived many lives, you start to see other people that way too. As she puts it, you are another me. That single shift, she believes, is how we move toward real compassion and unity. About Michelle Brock Michelle Brock is a past life regression specialist, psychic medium, and spiritual life coach. She has studied spirituality, shamanism, meditation, divination, astrology, and energy medicine across traditions from five continents. She is the author of Who Do You Think You Are? An Interactive Journey Through Your Past Lives and Into Your Best Future, an interactive guide filled with journaling exercises and meditations to help you connect with your own past lives, whoever you are and wherever you're starting from. Connect with Michelle: 🌐 Website: https://michelle-brock.com You've been listening. You're doing the work. But there's still this feeling that you're circling the same place. Maybe you've thought about working with me one-on-one. Maybe something's held you back. I get that. And I want you to know there's still a place for you. All of it, pay what you want. You decide what it's worth. Nobody gets turned away because of money. https://grief2g Want to go deeper? My Substack is where I share solo essays on grief, consciousness, and continuing bonds — thoughts that don't always make it into the podcast. It's also home to a community of listeners who get it, because they're living it too. Free to subscribe. Find it at substack.com/grief2growth. I've been studying Near Death Experiences for many years now. I am 100% convinced they are real. In this short, free ebook, I not only explain why I believe NDEs are real, I share some of the universal secrets brought back by people who have had them. https://www.grief2growth.com/ndelessons Support the show 🧑🏿‍🤝‍🧑🏻 Join me on Substack- connect with others and me 👛 Subscribe to Grief 2 Growth Premium (bonus episodes) 📰 Get A Free Gift 📅 Book A Complimentary Discovery Call 📈 Leave A Review Thanks so much for your support

• Transcript

Empath Energy Protection: How to Stop Carrying Everyone Else's Pain | Lisa Campion

You walk into a room and you know who is upset before anyone opens their mouth. You come home from a store you were only in for forty minutes and you have nothing left. Your friends bring you their pain because you are the one who can hold it, and afterward you are the one lying on the couch. If any of that sounds like your life, this conversation is for you. Lisa Campion has spent a career helping sensitive people stop drowning in what they absorb. In this episode she breaks down empath energy protection into something you can actually practice, starting today, in your car in the parking lot. We talk about what an empath really is, why the world tells sensitive kids something is wrong with them, and how the same wiring that exhausts you is the thing that makes you good at the work you were called to do. Then we go into energy vampires. The predatory ones, the victim vampires, the situational ones any of us can become when life knocks us flat. Lisa also names the part most people skip: a depleted empath who never learned to say no often becomes the biggest drain in the room. What we cover: The difference between feeling empathy and being an empath, and why the distinction changes everything The three fundamentals of energy hygiene: grounding, clearing, and shielding Lisa's practice before walking into a big box store, and the version you can do in a restroom in ninety seconds Why empaths are called into hospice, teaching, nursing, and coaching, and why those fields burn them out Energy vampires: how they hook you, why they find you, and what to do about it The resentment inventory, a simple exercise that shows you exactly where your boundaries have failed The empath trap: saying yes because you cannot face the other person's reaction The first question to ask when a strong feeling hits out of nowhere: is this mine? Refilling your tank with play, creativity, nature, and source instead of pulling from other people About Lisa Campion Lisa Campion is a psychic, Reiki master, and the best-selling author of The Art of Psychic Reiki, Energy Healing for Empaths, Awakening Your Psychic Abilities, and The Psychic Awakening Journal. Her fifth book, Sacred Reparenting, arrives in December. She is the founder of Quantum Lightwave Healing and has spent more than 25 years working with clients, blending psychic work, therapy training, and energy healing. Her mission, in her own words, is to build an army of healers. Find Lisa: Website: https://lisacampion.com Books available wherever you buy books Talk to me: What resonated with you in this one? Did something Lisa said name an experience you have had your whole life without a word for it? Come tell me at https://grief2growth.substack.com where there is an article on this conversation and a place to comment. All my links: https://pages.grief2growth.com/profile Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/grief2growth Free consult: https://grief2growth.as.me/30-minute-consult You've been listening. You're doing the work. But there's still this feeling that you're circling the same place. Maybe you've thought about working with me one-on-one. Maybe something's held you back. I get that. And I want you to know there's still a place for you. All of it, pay what you want. You decide what it's worth. Nobody gets turned away because of money. https://grief2g Want to go deeper? My Substack is where I share solo essays on grief, consciousness, and continuing bonds — thoughts that don't always make it into the podcast. It's also home to a community of listeners who get it, because they're living it too. Free to subscribe. Find it at substack.com/grief2growth. I've been studying Near Death Experiences for many years now. I am 100% convinced they are real. In this short, free ebook, I not only explain why I believe NDEs are real, I share some of the universal secrets brought back by people who have had them. https://www.grief2growth.com/ndelessons Support the show 🧑🏿‍🤝‍🧑🏻 Join me on Substack- connect with others and me 👛 Subscribe to Grief 2 Growth Premium (bonus episodes) 📰 Get A Free Gift 📅 Book A Complimentary Discovery Call 📈 Leave A Review Thanks so much for your support

• Transcript

Medium Barbra Banner: The Signs From Loved You're Already Missing | EP

Barbra Banner didn't set out to become a medium. It found her — through flying clocks, flickering lights, and orbs that showed up in her audition tapes, all within the span of a few days. What she didn't know then was that she was stepping into a gift that had quietly run through her family for generations. But before any of that, Barbra spent 35 years showing up for people in the worst moments of their lives — on crisis hotlines, in hospital emergency rooms, and with the LA Crisis Response Team, supporting grieving families at the scene of a loved one's passing. Looking back, it was all training for the work she does now. In this conversation, we talk about the signs from loved ones who passed that most people miss (and how to actually recognize them), what trance mediumship really feels like, why grief and laughter aren't opposites, and what it's really like on the other side. We also get into the guilt and blame that quietly break families apart after a loss — and why it doesn't have to be that way. About Barbra Banner Barbra is a certified medium whose gift emerged during the pandemic after a string of unmistakable paranormal experiences. Before mediumship, she spent decades in advertising, and volunteered for 14 years on crisis hotlines, in hospital ERs, and with the LA Crisis Response Team. Connect with Barbra: 🔗 Website & bookings: https://www.bannermedium.com 🔗 Social links (Instagram, TikTok, and more): available directly on her website **Key Topics Covered** ✨ How Barbra's mediumship gift emerged almost overnight ✨ Her 35 years in crisis intervention and how it prepared her for this work ✨ What trance mediumship is and what it feels like ✨ How to recognize the signs your loved ones are already sending you ✨ The rigorous, blind-testing process behind medium certification ✨ Soul contracts, free will, and why we choose our life lessons ✨ Guilt, blame, and why they hold back the grieving process ✨ What loved ones are actually doing on the other side 💜 What resonated with you most in this episode? Have you had a sign from a loved one that you brushed off before realizing what it was? I'd love to hear about it in the comments. If you want to keep the conversation going, head over to grief2growth.substack.com for the full article on this episode. You've been listening. You're doing the work. But there's still this feeling that you're circling the same place. Maybe you've thought about working with me one-on-one. Maybe something's held you back. I get that. And I want you to know there's still a place for you. All of it, pay what you want. You decide what it's worth. Nobody gets turned away because of money. https://grief2g Want to go deeper? My Substack is where I share solo essays on grief, consciousness, and continuing bonds — thoughts that don't always make it into the podcast. It's also home to a community of listeners who get it, because they're living it too. Free to subscribe. Find it at substack.com/grief2growth. I've been studying Near Death Experiences for many years now. I am 100% convinced they are real. In this short, free ebook, I not only explain why I believe NDEs are real, I share some of the universal secrets brought back by people who have had them. https://www.grief2growth.com/ndelessons Support the show 🧑🏿‍🤝‍🧑🏻 Join me on Substack- connect with others and me 👛 Subscribe to Grief 2 Growth Premium (bonus episodes) 📰 Get A Free Gift 📅 Book A Complimentary Discovery Call 📈 Leave A Review Thanks so much for your support

Remembering PMH Atwater: The Near-Death Experience Pioneer Who Died Three Times | EP 496

This week, we lost one of the true pioneers of near-death research. PMH Atwater passed away, and as a tribute to her, I'm re-releasing the very first interview I ever recorded with her back in 2019 — before she knew who I was, before I knew what I was doing, and before I understood what a gift those three conversations would turn out to be. If you've ever wondered what death actually feels like, whether thoughts are things, or how a person survives dying not once but three times in a single year — this episode is for you. PMH interviewed nearly 5,000 near-death experiencers over more than four decades. In this conversation, she doesn't just tell you what she found in other people's stories. She tells you her own. In this episode, you'll hear: ✨ How PMH's three near-death experiences in 1977 — January 2nd, January 4th, and March 29th — nearly destroyed her body while completely rebuilding her understanding of reality ✨ The "litany against fear" she adapted from Dune and chanted by the hour to survive her recovery — and why she's sharing it with you ✨ Her encounter with Elizabeth Kübler-Ross at O'Hare Airport that launched her research career — with no university, no funding, no roadmap ✨ What she means when she says "thoughts are things," and how she came to that conclusion while dying ✨ The voice that told her, "You are to do the research. One book for each death" — and what that meant for the rest of her life ✨ Why she made the film As You Die, and why the Catholic Church stepped in to help distribute it A few lines that will stay with you: "Fear is the mind killer. It is the little death. I will pass through my fear. It will go around me and through me. And when it is gone, I will remain.""When you die, you don't become someone else than you were. You are.""Any death in a way is an opening to something else... And if we embrace that, then it can be joyful." About PMH Atwater PMH Atwater began researching near-death experiences in 1978, becoming one of the founding figures in the field alongside Raymond Moody. Over more than 40 years, she interviewed close to 5,000 adult and child experiencers and authored nearly 20 books, including Coming Back to Life, Future Memory, Beyond the Light, and I Died Three Times in 1977 — The Complete Story. She lectured at the United Nations, appeared on Larry King Live and Geraldo, and remained a leading voice in near-death studies until her passing. Learn more about her work at pmhatwater.com. What resonated with you in this one? I'd love to hear which part of PMH's story stayed with you. Drop a comment below or reach out — I read every one. If this episode moved you, please share it. PMH spent her life making sure these stories didn't get lost. The least we can do is keep passing them on. You've been listening. You're doing the work. But there's still this feeling that you're circling the same place. Maybe you've thought about working with me one-on-one. Maybe something's held you back. I get that. And I want you to know there's still a place for you. All of it, pay what you want. You decide what it's worth. Nobody gets turned away because of money. https://grief2g Want to go deeper? My Substack is where I share solo essays on grief, consciousness, and continuing bonds — thoughts that don't always make it into the podcast. It's also home to a community of listeners who get it, because they're living it too. Free to subscribe. Find it at substack.com/grief2growth. I've been studying Near Death Experiences for many years now. I am 100% convinced they are real. In this short, free ebook, I not only explain why I believe NDEs are real, I share some of the universal secrets brought back by people who have had them. https://www.grief2growth.com/ndelessons Support the show 🧑🏿‍🤝‍🧑🏻 Join me on Substack- connect with others and me 👛 Subscribe to Grief 2 Growth Premium (bonus episodes) 📰 Get A Free Gift 📅 Book A Complimentary Discovery Call 📈 Leave A Review Thanks so much for your support

Becoming a Grief Doula, with Dina Bell-Laroche | EP 495

What if the word "coach" isn't big enough for what grief actually needs? In this conversation, Dina Bell-Laroche walks me through the journey that took her from a devastated 29-year-old — grieving her younger sister Tracy, who passed from a rare cancer while pregnant with her first child — to becoming one of the clearest voices in grief and loss literacy today. We talk about why she moved away from calling herself a "grief coach," what a grief doula actually does, and how a disconnected rotary phone in a garden in Japan became the inspiration for a project she's now bringing to a hospice near Ottawa. This one will change the way you think about "getting over" a loss — and about ranking your grief against anyone else's. About Dina Bell-Laroche Dina Bell-Laroche is a Certified Thanatologist, grief doula, death educator, keynote speaker, and the author of Grief Unleashed: Moving from the Hole in Our Hearts to Whole-Hearted. Since her sister Tracy's passing in 2001, Dina has built classrooms in Nicaragua and Northern Ontario in Tracy's name, hosted dozens of Grief Cafés, and helped launch Ottawa's first Wind Phone. She writes The Grieving Place on Substack and works with individuals, families, and organizations — including elite athletes and executives — navigating grief and life-altering loss. Connect with Dina: Website: https://www.griefunleashed.ca/ Substack — The Grieving Place: https://dinabelllaroche.substack.com/ Instagram, Facebook & LinkedIn: @griefunleashed Book: Grief Unleashed: Moving from the Hole in Our Hearts to Whole-Hearted In this episode, we cover: The difference between chronos time and kairos time — and what STUGS (sudden temporary upsurges in grief) really are Why Dina moved from "grief coach" to "grief doula," and what that shift means Disenfranchised grief, and why sibling loss so often goes unacknowledged Why our culture ranks losses against each other — and why that hierarchy needs to go Talking to children honestly about death The story behind the Wind Phone, and Dina's new Wind Phone project at a hospice in Ottawa What the Grief Companion Program actually looks like What resonated with you? Have you ever felt like your grief wasn't "bad enough" to talk about? Drop a comment and let's talk about it. You've been listening. You're doing the work. But there's still this feeling that you're circling the same place. Maybe you've thought about working with me one-on-one. Maybe something's held you back. I get that. And I want you to know there's still a place for you. All of it, pay what you want. You decide what it's worth. Nobody gets turned away because of money. https://grief2g Want to go deeper? My Substack is where I share solo essays on grief, consciousness, and continuing bonds — thoughts that don't always make it into the podcast. It's also home to a community of listeners who get it, because they're living it too. Free to subscribe. Find it at substack.com/grief2growth. I've been studying Near Death Experiences for many years now. I am 100% convinced they are real. In this short, free ebook, I not only explain why I believe NDEs are real, I share some of the universal secrets brought back by people who have had them. https://www.grief2growth.com/ndelessons Support the show 🧑🏿‍🤝‍🧑🏻 Join me on Substack- connect with others and me 👛 Subscribe to Grief 2 Growth Premium (bonus episodes) 📰 Get A Free Gift 📅 Book A Complimentary Discovery Call 📈 Leave A Review Thanks so much for your support

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Spiritual Awakening After Loss: A Skeptic's Story with Nico Martens | EP 494

What if the worst day of your life is also the doorway to who you were always meant to be? In this episode, I sit down with my friend Nico Martens for one of the most personal conversations I've had on the show. Nico and I met about 11 years ago, right after my daughter Shayna passed. Our mutual friend Gini was coming to Shayna's service, and Nico told her Shayna had already visited him. That's how our friendship began, and Nico walked me through some of the darkest days of my life. Nico was a classically trained electromechanical engineer who had no use for anything that couldn't be measured. Then his mother got cancer in Belgium and chose euthanasia so she could be fully conscious when she passed. Sitting beside her in that hospital broke his heart and his entire framework for reality at the same time. What came next was a years-long awakening that took him from skeptic to consciousness educator. We talk about the five specific predictions his mother gave him after she passed that he could not possibly have known. We get into why your subconscious runs 90% of your daily life and why willpower alone will never change it. And we explore subtle energy, sacred sites, and the body wisdom that mainstream science still won't touch. If you have ever felt like grief was reshaping who you are at the foundation, this conversation will give you language for what is happening to you. What We Cover: 🌱 How Nico's mother's passing cracked open his materialist worldview 🔮 The five predictions from his passed mother that proved consciousness survives 🧠 Why your subconscious mind runs the show and how to work with it 🦆 What animals know about releasing trauma that humans have forgotten ✨ Manifesting through your vibrational signature, not just positive thinking 👁️ The unchanging awareness that has been with you since you were born 🗼 Cosmic Towers, biogeometry, and the science of subtle energy 🌳 Why nature is the ultimate teacher for navigating grief About Nico Martens: Nico Martens is a consciousness educator, speaker, and guide in emotional integration and inner transformation. His work bridges science, subtle energy, and grounded spiritual practice, helping people move from suppression and survival into true integration and embodied presence. He created the Mind Body Atlas, a remarkable resource that maps the emotional root patterns behind physical symptoms. Originally trained as an electromechanical engineer, Nico now brings together the rigor of a scientific mind with decades of study in hypnosis, Taoist practice, and biogeometry to help people rebuild themselves after life's breaking points. 🔗 Website: https://www.nicomartens.com What Resonated With You? I would love to hear what landed for you in this conversation. Did Nico's skeptic-to-mystic journey mirror something in your own story? Have you had experiences with passed loved ones that defied explanation? Drop a comment on the article at https://grief2growth.substack.com and let's continue the conversation. If this episode meant something to you, please share it with someone who needs it. Continue the Conversation: 📰 Read the full article and comment: https://grief2growth.substack.com 🔗 All my links: https://pages.grief2growth.com/profile ⏰ Book a free 30-minute consult: https://grief2growth.as.me/30-minute-consult 👛 Support the show: https://www.grief2growth.com/tipjar You've been listening. You're doing the work. But there's still this feeling that you're circling the same place. Maybe you've thought about working with me one-on-one. Maybe something's held you back. I get that. And I want you to know there's still a place for you. All of it, pay what you want. You decide what it's worth. Nobody gets turned away because of money. https://grief2g Want to go deeper? My Substack is where I share solo essays on grief, consciousness, and continuing bonds — thoughts that don't always make it into the podcast. It's also home to a community of listeners who get it, because they're living it too. Free to subscribe. Find it at substack.com/grief2growth. I've been studying Near Death Experiences for many years now. I am 100% convinced they are real. In this short, free ebook, I not only explain why I believe NDEs are real, I share some of the universal secrets brought back by people who have had them. https://www.grief2growth.com/ndelessons Support the show 🧑🏿‍🤝‍🧑🏻 Join me on Substack- connect with others and me 👛 Subscribe to Grief 2 Growth Premium (bonus episodes) 📰 Get A Free Gift 📅 Book A Complimentary Discovery Call 📈 Leave A Review Thanks so much for your support

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Finding the Will to Recover: Nick Prefontaine | EP 493

Finding the Will to Recover: Nick Prefontaine on Running Out of the Hospital After Doctors Said He Never Would At 14, Nick Prefontaine caught the edge of his snowboard going off the biggest jump in the terrain park — and that was the last thing he remembered. He woke up in a world where doctors had already told his parents he might never walk, talk, or eat on his own again. Less than 90 days later, he ran out of the hospital. In this conversation, Nick takes us inside the recovery the motivational posters never show you. We talk about the mother who refused to let a hopeless prognosis be spoken over her unconscious son, the inner voice that whispered you're going to run out of the hospital, and the STEP system — Support, Trust, Energy, Persistence — that he didn't learn from a textbook but built from inside his own crisis. If you're standing at a starting line you never asked for, wondering whether you have what it takes to get back up, Nick's story is a hand reaching back to pull you forward. About Nick Prefontaine Nick is a three-time bestselling author and nationally recognized speaker, named one of the top motivational speakers by Yahoo Finance. He's the founder of Common Goal, where he works with people in the middle of trauma, crisis, and life-altering challenges — helping them not just get through it, but thrive on the other side. He also runs a family real estate business buying and selling homes creatively. What we cover: The day of the accident and the "coincidences" that saved his life Why his parents shielded him from the doctors' prognosis — and how that shaped his recovery The STEP system: Support, Trust, Energy, Persistence The inner voice that became his common goal, and what Nick now believes that voice is Losing his voice for nearly a decade, and what persistence looked like day by day The single moment of doubt he allowed himself — and his mother's answer Making a full recovery: marathons, snowboarding again, and what he carries forward Connect with Nick: 🪜 Download the free STEP ebook: https://nickprefontaine.com/step 🎥 The STEP video series ($37): https://nickprefontaine.com Let's keep the conversation going. What resonated with you in Nick's story? Was there a moment in your own life when someone refused to speak the worst over you — or a time you had to take the next step without being able to see the whole staircase? Leave a comment and share it. And if this episode reached someone you love, pass it along. 📰 Read the companion article and join the discussion: https://grief2growth.substack.com You've been listening. You're doing the work. But there's still this feeling that you're circling the same place. Maybe you've thought about working with me one-on-one. Maybe something's held you back. I get that. And I want you to know there's still a place for you. All of it, pay what you want. You decide what it's worth. Nobody gets turned away because of money. https://grief2g Want to go deeper? My Substack is where I share solo essays on grief, consciousness, and continuing bonds — thoughts that don't always make it into the podcast. It's also home to a community of listeners who get it, because they're living it too. Free to subscribe. Find it at substack.com/grief2growth. I've been studying Near Death Experiences for many years now. I am 100% convinced they are real. In this short, free ebook, I not only explain why I believe NDEs are real, I share some of the universal secrets brought back by people who have had them. https://www.grief2growth.com/ndelessons Support the show 🧑🏿‍🤝‍🧑🏻 Join me on Substack- connect with others and me 👛 Subscribe to Grief 2 Growth Premium (bonus episodes) 📰 Get A Free Gift 📅 Book A Complimentary Discovery Call 📈 Leave A Review Thanks so much for your support

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How to Break Karmic Cycle — with Liane Marie Lambert | EP 492

What if the patterns that keep you stuck aren't punishment — they're an invitation? Liane Marie Lambert was 27 years old, living in London, when she looked the wrong way crossing the street and was struck by a double-decker bus. She walked out of the hospital three days later — and began a journey that would take her from lost and broken to ascension coach, energy alchemist, and bestselling author. In this episode, Liane unpacks two of the most misunderstood concepts in spiritual life: karma and dharma. She explains why karma isn't a cosmic penalty system, what the Law of Karmic Entanglement means for the patterns you can't seem to escape, and how the shift from 3D to 5D consciousness is less about thinking positive thoughts and more about doing the real inner work. This is a conversation about breaking cycles, reclaiming your power, and discovering that you were never as stuck as you thought. In this episode, we explore: Liane's near-death experience and the dark night of the soul that followed What karma and dharma actually mean — and how they differ The Law of Karmic Entanglement and why some people never seem to face consequences Why you're already a master manifestor (and what's blocking you) The difference between 3D, 4D, and 5D consciousness Tower moments, soul contracts, and how the universe pushes us to evolve Practical steps to clear karma and raise your vibration About Liane Marie Lambert: Liane is an ascension coach, energy alchemist, karma/dharma activator, and bestselling author of Karma to Dharma: A New Age Guide to Becoming Superhuman — now available as an audiobook narrated by Liane herself. She works with individuals one-on-one and through her 9-week transformation course to help people move from karmic cycles into dharmic living. 🌱 Learn more and connect with Liane: https://lianelambert.com 📚 Get the book Karma to Dharma: https://lianelambert.com What resonated with you from this conversation? Did Liane's take on karma surprise you? Have you experienced a "tower moment" that cracked you open and pushed you forward? Share your thoughts in the comments — I'd love to hear your story. You've been listening. You're doing the work. But there's still this feeling that you're circling the same place. Maybe you've thought about working with me one-on-one. Maybe something's held you back. I get that. And I want you to know there's still a place for you. All of it, pay what you want. You decide what it's worth. Nobody gets turned away because of money. https://grief2g Want to go deeper? My Substack is where I share solo essays on grief, consciousness, and continuing bonds — thoughts that don't always make it into the podcast. It's also home to a community of listeners who get it, because they're living it too. Free to subscribe. Find it at substack.com/grief2growth. I've been studying Near Death Experiences for many years now. I am 100% convinced they are real. In this short, free ebook, I not only explain why I believe NDEs are real, I share some of the universal secrets brought back by people who have had them. https://www.grief2growth.com/ndelessons Support the show 🧑🏿‍🤝‍🧑🏻 Join me on Substack- connect with others and me 👛 Subscribe to Grief 2 Growth Premium (bonus episodes) 📰 Get A Free Gift 📅 Book A Complimentary Discovery Call 📈 Leave A Review Thanks so much for your support

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