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Finding You: with Dr. Brad Reedy

Brad Reedy

Introducing Inner Circle, our new premium Finding You podcast experience. Support the show and receive access to exclusive content, bonus AMA episodes, and more. Join at findingyou.supercast.comFinding You Therapy Programs is an experientially based therapeutic program serving individuals, parents, couples, and families. Email the host drbradreedy@gmail.com

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Wednesday · 1 hr 4 min
Containing (Listening): Love's Other Name - Ep 743
What does it actually mean to “hold space” for someone? In this talk, Dr. Brad Reedy explores containing: taking in another person with compassion, patience, curiosity, and non-judgment, especially when they’re hurting, dysregulated, or not making sense. Containing isn’t listening to someone being reasonable. It’s staying present with their pain, their defenses, their anger, and their irrational thinking, and letting them see the world the way they see it. We correct very little. And in that quiet, subtle way, a person is changed simply by having been understood. In this episode: Why a child’s sense of self is shaped not by what parents say, but by what they feel Why skills alone fall short, and why containing is built on our own inner work Listening by Capacity: a scale from “I can’t hear it right now” to accountability The barriers to containing: depletion, unhealed trauma, our own needs, self-righteousness, and the narcissistic wound Practical skills: staying silent, offering your body, holding discomfort, noticing your impulses, and getting really good at failing Why doing your own work is one of the most loving things you can do for the people closest to you. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
October 12 · 51 min
A.I., Therapy & Self-Help - Ep 742
Dr. Brad Reedy explores artificial intelligence, self-help, and the difference between having information and doing our healing work. He explains that our relationship with AI is only as good as our mental health: we can use it to ask better questions and consider new perspectives, or to reinforce what we already believe. Drawing on his own experience and his work with clients, Brad discusses the limits of AI, why doing the "right" thing is not the same as healing, and why relationship remains at the heart of lasting change. The question isn't simply whether to use AI, but how we use it and what we expect it to do for us. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
October 9 · 1 hr 11 min
An Interview with Beth Hillman: Parenting a Child Post-treatment - Ep 741
Dr. Reedy, interviews Finding You's coach and facilitator Beth Hillman. Beth shares her story of parenting a child struggling with substance used disorder. She talks about her approach and working with parents, emphasizing the need for self compassion and forgiveness for anyone working to support a struggling child. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
September 23 · 57 min
A Child's Greatest Burden: The Un-lived Life of a Parent - Ep 740
A Child's Greatest Burden Jung believed that the heaviest thing a child carries is the unlived life of the parent. He wasn't talking about the parent who chased a dream and fell short. He meant the life a parent avoided: the risks never taken, the fears never faced, the feelings never allowed. That unfinished business doesn't disappear. It gets handed down. In this episode, Dr. Brad Reedy explores how children absorb what we avoid, often more than what we say. Wherever a parent is stuck, the child tends to take that on as a roadmap. They either repeat it or spend a lifetime running from it. Drawing on Jung, Winnicott's false self, Alice Miller's The Drama of the Gifted Child, and Bowlby's work on how attachment passes between generations, Brad looks at what our children actually inherit: our shame, our anxiety, our blurred boundaries, and the parts of ourselves we've kept in the dark. The hardest part is also the most hopeful. When we make our children our project, we often dodge our real responsibility, which is to make our own lives the project. Brad walks through differentiation, the difference between enmeshment, cut-off, and healthy connection, and why the greatest gift we can give a child is a regulated nervous system and a clear sense of self. Take-home themes: learn what is yours and what isn't. Take responsibility for your own peace. Know the difference between loving a child and needing to be loved by one. Get busy with your life. Follow your bliss. It ends with you. Upcoming: AMA: Thursday, Sept 24, 6:00 PM MT Art of Living Retreat Center: Sept 27–Oct 2 (artoflivingretreatcenter.org) Ketamine Therapy Intensive: Oct 29–31, Salt Lake City Finding You Intensives: Oct 7–11, Oct 16–18 (online), Nov 11–15 (couples), Dec 2–6, Jan 6–10, Feb 10–14 (couples) Alumni Zoom: third Wednesday monthly OPLM support groups: Saturdays, oplm.com Inquiries: info@findingyouprograms.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
September 16 · 1 hr 1 min
Building Intimacy - Ep 739
Why don't we do the things we know would bring us closer to the people we love? We're not short on instructions. Speak your truth. Tell your story. Be vulnerable. But a script for intimacy doesn't create intimacy - because the barrier was never knowing what to say. It's what happens in your body when you try. Last night's episode: Creating Intimacy. The shift from doing to being, why "just communicate better" doesn't move the needle, and what actually makes closeness possible - with your partner, your kids, your friends. Listen wherever you get your podcasts. Link in bio. #FindingYouPodcast #DrBradReedy #Intimacy #Relationships #Attachment #CouplesTherapy #MentalHealth #Therapy #Podcast #SelfWork #ConsciousRelationships #EmotionalHealth Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
September 9 · 57 min
Couple's Work: Letting Go of the Old Fights
Dr. Reedy talks about how in marriage we often project onto our partners things which are our responsibility. He explains that when we ask our partners to be responsible for our peace, we will use punishment to manipulate and control them. He explains that individual work must form the foundation of the work we do in couples. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
September 5 · 1 hr 1 min
The Odyssey: The journey back to yourself - Ep 738
Dr. Reedy, discusses mythology and the Odyssey. He explains that the story of Odysseus and his journey home is about the journey back to ourselves. He emphasizes the patience required to reverse this journey. He talks about the costs we pay along the way. And eventually, like Odysseus, the new version of ourselves may become unrecognizable and unacceptable to the people that expect us to be who we were. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
August 26 · 46 min
Emotional Warmth (& Child Development) - Ep 737
Dr. Reedy discusses the impact on the development of the child when a warm, resonant part is present. He discusses the impact of affluence on a family's process around boundaries. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
August 12 · 1 hr
Choosing to Go "No Contact" with Family - Ep 736
Dr. Reedy discusses the trend of people going no contact with their family members. He explains how to respond when someone shares that they want to go no contact. He explains why people do and don't set such a boundary with family. members. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
August 7 · 56 min
Sharing Feelings with Intention (AMA) - Ep 735
Dr. Reedy takes questions from the Inner Circle audience. He talks about the difference between sharing your feelings and asking others to be responsible for your feelings. He talks about the challenge when children don't forgive parents. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
August 6 · 1 hr 3 min
The Heroic Task of Listening - Ep 734
Dr. Reedy talks about what is required for us to be able to listen to the people that we love. He explains that unless we do our healing and account for our energy and capacity, listening to somebody share their painful feelings about us may feel like self betrayal. He explains that listening is one of loves other names. And the act of doing our healing work, may be the greatest act of love we can show to the people that are important to us. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
July 29 · 59 min
Parental Anxiety and Children - Ep 733
Dr. Reedy discusses the impact of parental anxiety, especially anxiety that is un-owned by the parent, on the child. He explains that the child will interpret this distress in the parent as "something is wrong we me, the child." He also describes how a parent's nervous system becomes the blueprint for the child's developing nervous system and sense e of Self. He describes the coping strategies employed by the child when parental anxiety prevents attunement, connection, and a secure attachment. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
July 23 · 1 hr 9 min
Guilt, Blame and Accountability - Ep 732
Dr. Reedy discuss the negative influence of guilt on our lives and our relationships. He minimizes the often cited distinction between guilt and shame and talks about how both are obstacles on our journey towards mental health and intimacy. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
July 9 · 1 hr 13 min
The Drama of the Gifted Child by Alice Miller - Ep 731
Dr. Reedy reviews what he considers to be the most important book written on the subject of child development and mental health. Alice Miller writes in her book, “Experience has taught us that we have only one enduring weapon in our struggle against mental illness: the emotional discovery of the truth about the unique history of our childhood…we must try, in a long process, to discover our own personal touch, a truth that may cause pain before giving us a new sphere of freedom. If we choose instead to content ourselves with intellectual ‘wisdom,’ we will remain in the sphere of illusion and self-deception. The damage done to us during our childhood cannot be undone, since we cannot change anything in our past. We can, however, change ourselves. We can repair ourselves and gain our lost integrity by choosing to look more closely at the knowledge that is stored inside our bodies and bringing this knowledge closer to our awareness. This path, although certainly not easy, is the only route by which we can at last leave behind the cruel, invisible prison of our childhood. We become free by transforming ourselves from unaware victims of the past into responsible individuals in the present, who are aware of our past and are thus able to live with it. Most people do exactly the opposite. Without realizing that the past is constantly determining their present actions, they avoid learning anything about their history. They continue to live in their repressed childhood situation, ignoring the fact that it no longer exists. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
July 1 · 1 hr 5 min
Narcissism and the Wound Beneath - Ep 730
Dr. Reedy explains the diagnosis of NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) and the wound that creates it. He explains the connection between this wound, defenses, and gaslighting. He talks about how narcissism isn't too much love or indulgence, but rather objectifying the child. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
June 26 · 1 hr 1 min
The Price We Pay for Self-Care (A.M.A.) - Ep 729
Dr. Reedy takes question from the audience on taking care of yourself and setting boundaries with your family to do so. He also talks about how our defense, our need to be good, will often result in gaslighting type behaviors. He takes question on how our children are our teachers and how symptoms can inform us about ourselves and others. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
June 18 · 1 hr 8 min
Psychodynamic Therapy: How Freud & Jung Got it Right Pt 1 - Ep 728
Dr. Reedy discusses psychodynamic informed therapy and how many of what we hear today is 100 years old. We just weren't ready to hear it when Freud and Jung were alive. He talks about the core of their work (and what people call "trauma-informed") is based on the idea that symptoms are messengers that we need to listen to rather than get rid of. He explains that the therapeutic relationship is the medicine where the client can re-experience themselves is a safe context. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
June 16 · 1 hr 2 min
Faith and Therapy - Ep 727
Dr. Reedy discusses faith in the context of depth psychology. He discusses spiritual bypassing, shame based religions, and how faith is not a search for certainty but a way of holding paradox and the mystery of what it means to be a finite person in an infinite universe. He explains how some versions of faith and religion serve as a defense against the uncertainty of life - how god can get in the way of finding God. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
June 5 · 56 min
Why Boundaries Are Hard - Ep 726
Dr. Reedy addresses the barriers we encounter when we set boundaries. He talks about needing to be right vs. being a self. He explains how we try to change other people so we don't have to face changing ourselves. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
June 3 · 1 hr
Describing the Look and Feel of the Work (A.M.A.) - Ep 725
Dr. Reedy takes live questions from the live audience. He addresses the practical look/steps/feel of the work we are engaged in on our therapeutic journey. He talks about loneliness on the journey. And he explains the best way to invite loved ones into the work with you. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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