
The Father Wound: Masculinity, Suppressed Emotion, and Reparenting Yourself | Ep. 89
Nikolas and Michael get personal about masculinity and the father wound: how boys are quietly taught to suppress emotion, the difference between inheriting a parent's fear and reacting against it, and what it takes to change a pattern carried since childhood. They talk about parenting the way they wish they had been parented, loving a child for who they are rather than what they do, and the hard question of whether a relational wound can be completed without the parent. It ends on blame, grief, and the good memories worth holding onto. 00:00 Intro 00:45 Masculinity and the father wound 02:54 Looking at the father relationship for the first time 06:05 How boys get taught to suppress emotion 10:30 Masculinity as a denial of "soft" qualities 13:13 How suppression is passed down 16:40 Transmission, reaction, and the "shy kid" label 20:31 It took suffering and awareness to change 23:03 Parenting as a second-time father 26:57 Love for who you are vs what you do: the shame wound 31:47 Relational wounds and relational repair 34:23 Safety, TRE, and reparenting yourself 36:44 Can you complete a father wound without the father? 39:54 Letting go of blame 43:23 Grieving what you did not get 46:28 Wrap-up
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