Equal-ish

Rachel Childs and Kate Mangino

Equal-ish is all about that precise intersection of parenthood, work, and being in a relationship. This funny, wonderful, messy, frustrating process is possible - but not easy! Join Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs every week to help you find your equal-ish household balance.

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S3 · E62
Yesterday · 41 min
Ep 62: The cost of keeping everyone else comfortable. An interview with Gemma Hartley
Follow us on Instagram! Kate Mangino & Rachel Childs. Get in touch with your questions, comments and future podcast ideas at equalishpod@gmail.com What happens when you stop trying to make everyone else comfortable and start listening to what you really feel, want and need? In this episode of Equal-ish, we’re joined by writer and journalist Gemma Hartley, author of No One Loves an Angry Woman, to explore the gendered scripts that teach women to be accommodating, selfless and quiet about their own needs. Drawing on her experiences growing up in evangelical culture, becoming a mother and evolving alongside her husband, Gemma reflects on why women’s anger is so often dismissed, what that anger can reveal about the things that need to change, and why learning to express it can be the beginning of something transformative. We explore how the expectations placed on women - to give without needing, to be desirable without expressing desire, and to nurture others without making them uncomfortable, shape everything from parenting and partnerships to sex, identity and belonging. But this isn’t simply a conversation about women breaking free. We also discuss how restrictive gender roles limit men, why meaningful equality in a relationship requires both partners to keep growing, and how doing that work together can create more freedom for everyone. Perhaps most importantly, Gemma challenges the idea that following the rules is what keeps us safe. Sometimes, the very scripts that promise us belonging are the ones keeping our lives small. In this episode, we explore: Why women are often taught to suppress their anger and what anger can tell us. How gender norms and social expectations shape the way we parent, partner and behave. The connection between emotional labour, people-pleasing and making ourselves smaller. Why equality in relationships requires both partners to challenge inherited roles. How expectations around sex and desire can disconnect us from our own needs and bodies. Why breaking away from familiar scripts can feel frightening and open the door to deeper connection, authenticity and community. If you’ve ever swallowed your feelings to keep the peace, struggled to articulate what you really want, or wondered whether being true to yourself might cost you the love of others, this conversation is for you. Find Gemma: Her book No One Loves an Angry Woman, her Substack of the same name, and Instagram at @GemmaLHartley. Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs.
S3 · E61
October 21 · 21 min
Ep 61: The Equal-ish Edit. If equality is a skill, can we rewrite the rules of family life?
Follow us on Instagram! Kate Mangino & Rachel Childs. Get in touch with your questions, comments and future podcast ideas at equalishpod@gmail.com What if creating a more equal family isn't simply about wanting equality, but about learning how? In this Equal-ish Edit, Rachel Childs and Kate Mangino reflect on four conversations with Darby Saxbe, Jerome Hunter, Simon Arrowsmith and Sophie Bruce, uncovering an unexpected connection between brain science, raising boys, the stories we tell ourselves and the technology shaping our lives: our capacity to change. We explore why we cling to familiar ideas about what makes a good parent, a successful professional or a happy family, even when those expectations aren't working for us. We discuss how caregiving can change our brains, why empathy and communication need practice, and how the stories we inherit about gender can shape relationships in ways we don't even recognise. Kate shares a personal parenting dilemma that challenges her own feminist assumptions: when our children make choices that clash with our values, how do we stay open to their perspectives without abandoning our responsibility to guide them? And we get practical about equality itself. As Kate puts it, equality isn't just a value; it's a skill. One that requires practice, intention and the willingness to keep learning, even when we're exhausted and sometimes just want our partners to get on with it. Because building a more equal family isn't about getting everything right. It's about questioning the rules, making room for different stories and practising a better way of being together. Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs.
S3 · E60
October 14 · 39 min
Ep60: Can AI take the mental load off parents without reinforcing gender stereotypes? An interview with Sophie Bruce
Follow us on Instagram! Kate Mangino & Rachel Childs. Get in touch with your questions, comments and future podcast ideas at equalishpod@gmail.com. What if AI could give parents back something they desperately need: the brain space to actually enjoy being parents? Modern family life has become an extreme sport. School emails, WhatsApp groups, endless apps, competing work demands and the constant remembering, anticipating and organising can leave parents overwhelmed before the day has even begun. But could AI be part of the solution or are we simply adding another layer of technology to manage? In this episode of Equal-ish, we're joined by Sophie Bruce, founder and CEO of MOLO (Modern Load), to explore how technology could help families tackle the mental load, share responsibility and reconnect with the joy of parenting. Drawing on her background in psychology, high-performing teams and technology, Sophie challenges the idea that the problem is simply that dads don't do enough. Instead, she looks beneath the surface at unclear responsibilities, poor handovers, outdated systems and the growing expectations placed on modern parents. We explore the risks of AI learning from a world already shaped by gender stereotypes, and why technology could reinforce those patterns unless we deliberately design it to challenge them. We also ask whether making family life more efficient could bring couples closer together - or leave them even more disconnected. Plus, Sophie shares what it means to design family life with intention rather than sleepwalking into traditional roles, why we need to think carefully about who builds the technology we use, and what success might look like beyond simply getting more done. Find out more about the MOLO app here: https://www.wearemolo.com/ And read Kate’s latest substack (link soon), to explore her analysis of different AI options currently available today. Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs.
S3 · E59
October 7 · 42 min
Ep59: Who Wrote the Story You're Living? An interview with Simon Arrowsmith.
Follow us on Instagram! Kate Mangino & Rachel Childs. What if some of the things we believe are “just the way things are” are actually stories we've been told so many times that we've stopped questioning them? In this episode of Equal-ish, we're joined by storyteller, writer-composer and story consultant Simon Arrowsmith to explore the powerful stories that shape how we see ourselves, our relationships, our families and the world around us. Simon explains why story is much more than entertainment or communication: it's one of the ways our brains make meaning of the world. And because we're constantly surrounded by stories (in films, advertising, social media, culture, family and history), they can quietly become the narratives we live by. We explore what happens when familiar patterns become “lazy stories”: the repeated stereotypes about mothers, fathers, work and family life that can start to feel like the only possible way things can be. We also get personal. How can two people experience exactly the same situation but create completely different stories about what is happening? What happens when we become too attached to our own narrative? And how can couples create enough curiosity and vulnerability to hear each other's version of the story? Simon shares practical ways to start unpacking the stories we tell ourselves: from asking “why?” repeatedly to using the structure of a story to examine where we've come from, what has changed and what might happen next. And perhaps most importantly, we ask whether we really can rewrite our stories. Sometimes a small shift is enough to change the direction of the story. So, who wrote the story you're living, and what might happen if you changed just 10% of it? Meet Simon: https://www.linkedin.com/in/simonarrowsmith/ https://simonarrowsmith.com/ https://iambic.agency/ https://analogueintelligence.co.uk/ Explore the hero’s journey here: https://www.jcf.org/learn/joseph-campbell-heros-journey Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs.
S3 · E58
September 30 · 34 min
Ep 58. What if we stop putting boys in boxes? Helping boys build connection, boundaries and a bigger idea of masculinity. An interview with Jerome Hunter
Follow us on Instagram! Kate Mangino & Rachel Childs. Get in touch with your questions, comments and future podcast ideas at equalishpod@gmail.com What happens when boys grow up surrounded by messages telling them to be strong, dominant, competitive and emotionally tough? In this episode of Equal-ish, we talk to educator and boys’ development expert Jerome Hunter about the scripts boys absorb from an early age and what happens when we give them the space to question those scripts rather than simply follow them. Jerome shares what he learned from founding an all-boys middle school, including why the transition into adolescence can feel like “whiplash”, how boys can be socialised away from emotional expression, and why the pressure to fit in can make it incredibly difficult for them to set boundaries or challenge harmful behaviour. We explore the debate around single-sex education, asking whether separating boys and girls can create valuable space to explore identity or risk reinforcing the very gender divisions we're trying to dismantle. Jerome's answer comes back to intentionality: it's not simply whether boys and girls are educated together, but what we're actually teaching them about themselves, relationships and each other. jerome-hunter-interview We also get very practical. Jerome shares simple things schools and families can do, from a one-minute emotional check-in at the start of a lesson to helping boys understand boundaries, practising restorative rather than purely punitive discipline, and creating a shared language around healthy relationships. And perhaps the most powerful question of all: what might boys teach us if we stopped trying to mould them and simply listened? Jerome's answer is beautiful: look at me for me before evaluating me. Meet Jerome: https://www.jeromehunter.com/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jeromehunter/ Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs.
S3 · E53
September 23 · 45 min
Ep 57: Dad Brain: Great Dads Are Made, Not Born. An interview with Dr Darby Saxbe
Follow us on Instagram! Kate Mangino & Rachel Childs. Get in touch with your questions, comments and future podcast ideas at equalishpod@gmail.com What if becoming a father doesn't just change your life, it changes your brain? In this episode of Equal-ish, we talk to clinical psychologist and neuroscientist Dr Darby Saxbe, author of Dad Brain, about the fascinating biology of fatherhood and what it tells us about how we raise children, share care and think about masculinity. Darby's research shows that fathers' brains remodel during the transition to parenthood, with changes linked to how much time they spend caring for and connecting with their children. As she puts it: “Great dads are made, not born.” But that raises a much bigger question: what happens when fathers aren't given the time or opportunity to practise caregiving? We explore why solo parenting can be so important for dads, how unequal parenting can become self-reinforcing, and why the cognitive load remains stubbornly gendered even as fathers spend more time doing hands-on childcare. We also get into the surprising physical changes that can happen to men's bodies and hormones during fatherhood, why the obsession with maximising testosterone misses the point, and what happens when we stop seeing fatherhood as a social role and start recognising it as a profound human transition. And then we go somewhere unexpected: into the delivery room. Darby's research suggests that the way couples communicate with each other before birth may be linked to how difficult their birth experience becomes and that something as simple as validation can help diffuse conflict. This is a conversation about brains, bodies, relationships, workplaces, masculinity and the opportunities we give people to become the parents and partners they are capable of being. What would change if we designed early parenthood around the science of how fathers actually develop as caregivers? Connect with Darby: Buy the book: Dad Brain darbysaxbe.com darbysaxbe.substack.com Instagram @darbysaxbephd Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs.
S3 · E56
September 16 · 23 min
Ep 56: What if we stopped playing by the rules?
Equal-ish is back for Year Two! After 55 episodes exploring the research, systems and social norms that make equity at home so difficult, Kate and Rachel are back, and this year they're asking a different question: What if knowing what's hard isn't enough? We've learned a lot over the last year. We've explored all the latest research that explain why equity at home is so hard. We know about workplace barriers. We know how gender norms shape parenting, relationships and family life. And yet... we still find ourselves doing the very things we know we shouldn't. Rachel puts up barriers to taking time for herself. Kate finds herself exhausted after trying to make everyone else happy. So in Year Two we're going beyond diagnosis. This season, Equal-ish is widening the conversation, exploring the stories we tell ourselves, the habits we inherit, the expectations we never consciously chose, and the unexpected ideas that might help us do things differently. From boyhood and dad brains to storytelling, AI, anger, adolescence and the everyday ways we divide up family life, Kate and Rachel are looking beyond the usual suspects and asking: What other ideas, perspectives and possibilities could help us write our own rules? We're not here to tell you how to have the perfect family. We're figuring it out too. Welcome to Year Two of Equal-ish. And remember: if it were easy to be equal-ish, we wouldn't need this podcast. Here's some links to a few of our upcoming guests if you want to read ahead: Dad Brain, by Darby Saxbe No One Loves an Angry Woman, by Gemma Hartley Mom Life Comics
S2 · E55
September 9 · 42 min
Ep 55: REPLAY: Why Being an ‘Involved Dad’ Wasn’t Enough. What Happened When Alex Trippier Went From Present To Partnership
We're taking a break over the summer and replaying some of your favourite episodes. Today we're revisiting our conversation with podcast friend Alex Trippier where he gave us his honest perspectives about his personal journey from being clueless to enlightened in all things equal-ish and mental load. Enjoy! Discovering concepts like mental load, matrescence, and motherhood ideals really can fundamentally reframe your understanding of parenting as a partnership. In today’s conversation, Rachel, Kate talk to Alex Trippier, host of the Be a Happier Parent podcast about his fatherhood journey, the strain young children put on his relationship, and the turning point—from believing he was an “involved dad” to realising he had completely missed the invisible emotional, cognitive and cultural pressures shaping his wife’s experience. It’s time to redefine fulfillment as a father beyond achievement and into meaningful family connection. Here are two of the Be a Happier Parent episodes that we referenced in our interview: ⁠The magic of caregiving with Elissa Straus ⁠ ⁠What do dads do? With Steve Biddulph⁠ These are the books Alex referenced: The Motherhood Complex by Melissa Hogenboom Matrescence by Lucy Jones Fair Play by Eve Rodsky Beyond Baby Talk by Rachel Childs Subscribe to Equal-ish on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to be the first to hear the coaching edit from our interview. Find out more about your hosts ⁠Kate Mangino⁠ and ⁠Rachel Childs⁠ or get in touch at equalishpod@gmail.com
S2 · E54
September 2 · 50 min
Ep 54: REPLAY: The Evolution of Fatherhood: Why Dads Matter More Than Ever. An interview with Dr Anna Machin
We're taking a break for the summer and replaying some of ours, and your favourite episodes. This week we're revisiting our conversation with Dr Anna Machin. This really was one of our all time favourite conversations. Anna has so much to share about the evolution of fatherhood and dispelling myths about our modern definition of the breadwinner role. Enjoy! In this episode, evolutionary anthropologist Dr Anna Machin challenges everything you thought you knew about fatherhood. From hormone shifts and brain changes to the unique ways dads build attachment, Anna unpacks why fathers are wired to be caretakers, not just breadwinners, and how their involvement shapes resilience, social skills, and mental health in children. Kate and Rachel dive into: The evolutionary roots of fatherhood and why caregiving, not earning, is innate. How dads uniquely “scaffold” children’s growth and prepare them for the world. The importance of secure attachment, sensitive parenting, and playful involvement. Why societal norms and workplace cultures, not biology, often prevent dads from fully engaging. How couples can use pregnancy to prepare for parenthood, maintain relationship strength, and navigate the early years together. This episode is essential listening for any parent, partner, or parent-to-be who wants to understand the science behind equal parenting, and how to put it into practice in today’s world. Meet Anna and explore her books: https://annamachin.com/ Subscribe to Equal-ish on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to be the first to hear the coaching edit from our interview. Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs or email us at equalishpod@gmail.com.
S2 · E53
August 26 · 47 min
Ep 53: REPLAY: Our Household Doesn’t Add Up: The Economics Behind the Mental Load. An interview with Dr Corinne Low
We're taking a break for the summer and replaying our most listened to episodes. This interview with Corinne was one of ours (and your) favourites it the way Corinne uses her behavioural economics lens to how we think about our time, utility and finances as parents. Enjoy!! In this episode of Equal-ish, Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs are joined by economist and author Dr. Corinne Low, whose book Having It All blends rigorous data with deeply human stories about work, love and parenthood. Corinne takes us inside the economics of the modern household — explaining why gender equality at home has stalled, why parenting time has exploded, and why women’s stress and burnout aren’t personal failures but predictable outcomes of a broken system. Drawing on time-use data, labour market research and behavioural economics, she unpacks the myths we still cling to: from romanticising the 1950s household to assuming equality will “sort itself out.” Together, we explore invisible labour, status quo bias, reproductive capital, and the parenting “arms race” that’s making family life feel impossible — especially for working mothers. Most importantly, Corinne offers a practical, empowering reframe: how women can stop trying to “lean in” to a broken system and instead renegotiate work, partnership and parenting on more sustainable terms. If you find yourself asking: Why does this still feel so hard, and what can we actually do about it? This conversation is for you. Find out more about Corinne’s work here: www.corinnelow.com Subscribe to Equal-ish on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to be the first to hear the coaching edit from our interview. Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs or get in touch with us at equalishpod@gmail.com.
S2 · E52
August 19 · 44 min
Ep 52: REPLAY: How Zach Watson got equal-ish with his wife.
We're taking a break for the summer and replaying a few of your favourite episodes. This week, we're sharing one of the very first conversations we had, with Zach Watson, the reformed 'man-child'. Enjoy! Are men choosing to ignore the mental load because they subconsciously still believe it is women’s work? Rachel and Kate try to answer that question with this week’s guest, Zach Watson. Zach is a former middle school math teacher turned viral content creator and invisible labor coach for modern dads. Zach’s marriage nearly ended in 2018 because he was in default mode and letting his wife do it all. Now he talks very openly about how that happened, what he is doing to make changes, and why other men might be motivated to take household equality seriously. Known for his honest, often hilarious take on the mental load in parenting, Zach speaks from real experience. And as a result now has over 120 million views and a growing community of ‘recovering man-children,’ through sharing his practical tools and relatable stories. ⁠⁠Zach Watson Instagram⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Zach Watson YouTube Channel ⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Zach Watson Facebook⁠⁠ Subscribe to Equal-ish on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to be the first to hear the coaching edit from our interview. Find out more about your hosts ⁠⁠Kate Mangino⁠⁠ and ⁠⁠Rachel Childs⁠⁠ or email us equalishpod@gmail.com.
S2 · E52
August 12 · 49 min
Ep 51: REPLAY: Children change everything! Learning pains and getting to somewhere better with Molly Millwood
We're taking a break for the summer and replaying our most listened to episodes. Molly was our very first guest on Equal-ish. Whether you've listened to her before, or joined the pod later, this conversation is not to be missed. Molly's insights into relationships through parenthood really are the foundations for everything we talk to. Enjoy! In this conversation with psychologist and author of To Have and To Hold, Molly Millwood, Kate and Rachel explore how reciprocity in relationships can feel so hard to achieve. We unpack with Molly the subtle ways women are socialized to give away power, why women’s “free time” so often includes caregiving, and how unequal dynamics impact both mothers and fathers. Together we reflect the hidden costs for men who disconnect from early fatherhood, and the damage relationships can suffer if these imbalances go unaddressed. Meet Kate & Rachel here: ⁠https://linktr.ee/equalish⁠ and get in touch with us at: equalishpod@gmail.com Buy Molly’s book, To Have and To Hold: ⁠https://www.mollymillwood.com/book⁠ If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with a friend who might need a little more equal-ish in their life.
S2 · E50
August 5 · 27 min
50 Episodes later: What we've learned about equality, parenting & being human
One year. Fifty episodes. Twenty-seven incredible guests. Hundreds of hours of conversations, editing, voice notes, and learning. In this special anniversary episode, Rachel Childs and Kate Mangino look back on the biggest ideas that have shaped their thinking over the first year of Equal-ish and discover that the podcast has become something much bigger than they ever imagined. We revisit the moments that completely changed how they think about parenting, relationships, gender, the mental load, power, and community. We share the questions we're still wrestling with, why we believe the conversation around equality needs to move beyond household chores, and where we're taking Equal-ish next. Whether you've listened from episode one or you're joining us for the first time, this is the perfect place to reflect on how far we've come and where we're heading next. In this episode we discuss: The guest insights that fundamentally changed our thinking Why Equal-ish is becoming about more than gender and parenting Individual responsibility versus broken systems Why relationships, not independence, may be the key to lasting change The biggest unanswered questions we're taking into Year Two What we've learned from 50 episodes and 27 expert guests Why your conversations matter more than ever Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs. Contact us with your feedback and future podcast ideas: equalishpod@gmail.com
S2 · E49
July 29 · 27 min
Ep 49: The Equal-ish Edit - The hardest part of love isn't doing more, it's letting go
Over the last four episodes, we've spoken to four very different guests, but one theme kept appearing. What if adulthood isn't about becoming completely independent? What if love isn't about fixing other people's problems? And what if the greatest gift we can give our children (and our partners) isn't rescuing them, but believing they're capable? In this Equal-ish Edit, Rachel and Kate unpack the unexpected connections between conversations with Paige Connell, Nick Shackleton-Jones, Deborah Porter and Dr Stephen Blumenthal. Together we explore: Why we've confused love with doing. The difference between rescuing someone and creating safety. Why curiosity may be a greater marker of adulthood than independence. How stepping back can be one of the hardest—and most loving—things we ever do. Why building an equal partnership starts by examining ourselves, not changing our partner. This isn't an episode about having all the answers. It's an invitation to stay curious, sit beside discomfort, and rethink what it really means to care for the people we love. Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs. Contact us with your feedback and future podcast ideas: equalishpod@gmail.com
S2 · E48
July 21 · 38 min
Ep 48: The men we raise, the partners we become: Why vulnerability still feels unsafe. An interview with Stephen Blumenthal.
From childhood, many boys are taught to be tough, independent and resilient. What is the cost of the lessons they’re taught? In this episode of Equal-ish, psychotherapist Stephen Blumenthal explores why so many men struggle to express vulnerability, seek help, or even recognise when they're suffering. Drawing on decades of experience working with men, Stephen explains how shame, biology, culture and early attachment all shape the way men experience emotions and relationships. Together, Rachel, Kate and Stephen unpack why fatherhood often feels less clearly defined than motherhood, why talking therapies can unintentionally miss men's needs, and how creating a genuine sense of safeness rather than simply telling people to "open up" could transform relationships. This is a thoughtful conversation about imperfection, intimacy, emotional connection and why equal partnerships aren't built by having all the answers they're built by creating spaces where both people feel safe enough to be themselves. Subscribe to Equal-ish on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to be the first to hear the coaching edit from our interview. Meet Stephen Blumenthal: https://stephenblumenthal.com/ Guardian article: ‘They’re taught that showing feelings is shameful’: eight reasons men don’t go to therapy – and why they should Don’t forget to buy your copy of Kate Washington’s Midstream: A Life Remade in 50 Swims Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs. Contact us with your feedback and future podcast ideas: equalishpod@gmail.com
S2 · E47
July 15 · 43 min
Ep 47: The empty nest myth: What happens when they come back? An interview with Deborah Porter.
Everyone talks about the sleepless nights of having babies. Almost no one talks about what happens when your children become adults. In this episode of Equal-ish, Rachel Childs and Kate Mangino speak with workplace parenting consultant Deborah Porter about one of the least discussed stages of family life: when adult children move back home. Whether it's rising living costs, an impossible housing market, career uncertainty or simply needing a reset, more young adults are returning home than ever before. But while parents often expect life to get easier once children leave, many discover that the mental load simply changes shape. Deborah shares why parents need to stop seeing this as a "failure to launch" and instead view it as an opportunity to help young adults relaunch successfully. She explores why default parenting often continues long after childhood, how rescuing can unintentionally hold children back, and why every birthday should be an opportunity to hand a little more responsibility back to your child. This is a conversation about boundaries, identity, parenting with intention, and learning that sometimes the greatest act of love is stepping back rather than stepping in. Subscribe to Equal-ish on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to be the first to hear the coaching edit from our interview. Meet Deborah: www.deborahporter.net Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs.
S2 · E46
July 8 · 53 min
Ep 46: Leadership, ego and the hidden forces shaping family life. An interview with Nick Shackleton-Jones
Meet Kate Mangino @kate_mangino and Rachel Childs @parents_that_work. Everyone says they want more equal partnerships. So why do so many couples still end up falling into traditional roles? In this thought-provoking conversation, organisational psychologist and behaviour change expert and author of How We Learn, Nick Shackleton-Jones explores the invisible forces that shape how we work and lead. From the surprising psychology behind return-to-office mandates to why workplace cultures continue to disadvantage caregivers, Nick challenges many of the assumptions we've accepted as "normal." Together, we explore why information alone rarely changes behaviour, why emotions drive lasting change far more than logic, and what organisations and families can learn from human-centred design. We also dive into the future of AI, the hidden biases built into technology, why younger generations are rejecting outdated definitions of success, and how leadership culture continues to influence equality at home. Follow Nick’s TikTok musings @shackletonjones or find out more about his work shackleton-consulting.com/ This episode is proudly sponsored by Midstream: A Life Remade in 50 Swims by Kate Washington
S2 · E45
July 1 · 51 min
Ep 45. Sharing parenthood isn't about the dishwasher. An interview with Paige Connell.
When Paige Connell became a mum, she didn't expect her marriage to change overnight. She'd been with her husband for 16 years. They had an equitable relationship. They supported each other's careers. Yet within a few years (accelerated by COVID, foster care, adoption, four young children and a complete lack of childcare support) she found herself overwhelmed, burnt out and quietly wondering: "How did this happen?" In this powerful conversation, Paige shares with Kate and Rachel the moment she realised her resentment wasn't about an overflowing dishwasher, it was about carrying an invisible workload that neither she nor her husband had the language to describe. Together, Rachel, Kate and Paige explore why so many good dads are still missing part of the picture, why women often struggle to articulate what they're experiencing, how social media has changed the conversation around the mental load, and why simply "helping more" isn't the answer. They also discuss raising boys differently, the dangerously low standards we celebrate fathers for, why Mother's Day and Father's Day cards still reinforce outdated stereotypes, and why genuine change will only happen when we stop comparing dads to other dads—and start comparing partners to each other. This episode is about giving couples the words to have better conversations, build stronger partnerships and create a fairer future for the next generation. This week Rachel and Kate are joined by Paige Connell, aka “shesapaigeturner” on TikTok and Instagram. Paige is a working mother of four who shares relatable content on TikTok and Instagram, highlighting the everyday experiences of women balancing motherhood, careers, and relationships. Known for her candid insights on the mental load of motherhood and the challenges of creating equity at home and work, Paige’s content resonates with millions. She also advocates for affordable childcare, paid leave, and reproductive rights, sparking important conversations about what families need to thrive. Her impactful voice and relatable storytelling have led to features in Scary Mommy, The Today Show, Good Morning America, and more. You can find Paige in all the social places: https://www.instagram.com/sheisapaigeturner/ https://www.tiktok.com/@sheisapaigeturner https://www.facebook.com/sheisapaigeturner/reels/ https://substack.com/@sheisapaigeturner Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs.
S2 · E44
June 24 · 25 min
Ep 44: The Equal-ish Edit - Awareness isn’t enough: the skills, trust and habits for equal partnerships.
We often talk about the mental load, emotional labour, and the systems that keep families stuck in unequal patterns. But what happens after awareness? In this Equal-ish Edit, Kate and Rachel reflect on their recent conversations with Laura Danger (Ep 41), Steve Cardwell (Ep 42) and Natalie Costa (Ep 43), exploring the gap between knowing and doing. Why do couples who value equality still end up in unequal dynamics? Why is awareness only the starting point? And what skills are we missing at home that organisations spend millions teaching at work? The conversation dives into the role of trust, communication, emotional intelligence, leadership skills and habit formation in creating stronger partnerships. They also explore why letting go feels so risky, why vulnerability is essential for growth, and whether we need to rethink how we prepare people for relationships, parenting and family life. Plus, they share their thoughts on the new film Breadwinner and ask whether popular culture is still stuck telling outdated stories about fathers, mothers and family life. Subscribe to Equal-ish on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to be the first to hear the coaching edit from our interview. Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs.
June 17 · 44 min
Ep 43: You are easy to love: Raising emotionally secure children starts with us. An interview with Natalie Costa
What if the most important parenting skill isn't discipline, communication, or even patience, but emotional fitness? In this episode, Kate and Rachel sit down with parenting coach and emotional fitness expert Natalie Costa to explore how our relationship with emotions shapes everything from our parenting to our partnerships. Natalie explains why so many adults struggle to navigate difficult emotions, how emotional patterns are passed down through generations, and why resilience isn't about avoiding feelings, it's about learning to move forward with them. We dive into the invisible emotional labour that often falls to mothers, why many fathers have never been taught the emotional skills modern parenting requires, and practical ways couples can create a more emotionally connected family culture together. You'll also hear why repair matters more than perfection, how to help children develop emotional security, and the powerful reminder that every child needs to hear: "You are easy to love." Whether you're raising toddlers, teens, or simply trying to break old patterns in your own family, this conversation offers practical tools and reassuring wisdom for becoming the steady parent your children need. What emotional fitness actually means Why happiness shouldn't be the ultimate parenting goal The connection between emotional awareness and resilience How emotional patterns are inherited across generations The invisible emotional labour carried by many mothers Helping fathers build emotional confidence and connection Why repair is more important than getting it right How to raise emotionally secure children without striving for perfection Meet Natalie Costa:https://nataliecosta.co.uk Find out more about your hosts Kate Mangino and Rachel Childs.

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