You're Not Too Much

Don’t Harsh My Daughter’s Meep - A Saturday SideQuest

My youngest has a vocal stim. She yells meep. Happy? Meep. Frustrated? Meep. Too much energy and nowhere to put it? MEEP. Top of her lungs. Directly into her sister's face. It's about half her vocabulary right now. And I love it. So when someone told her I was only saying I love it to make her feel good? Excuse me. Have you met me? Here's the thing. One day she's going to stop meeping, and I'm going to be really sad about it. So stop harshing her meep mellow. P.S. If your kid has a stim that drives everyone else up the wall but quietly turns your whole heart to mush — this one's for you.

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Shane Gillis, SNL and "It's Just a Joke": Why That's Not a Defense

This episode is sponsored by ParentAgent. Founder Barbara Ballard spent twenty years in UX and still missed her own kid's early dismissal. So she built ParentAgent. It reads the school and activity email and hands you the list — school, camp, sports, both kids. It doesn't train on your family's data, doesn't sell it, and you can delete all of it. It’s free to start, at parentagent.io/L2. Content note: this episode talks about consent, sexual assault and abuse. It also contains strong language. Shane Gillis hosted SNL for the third time and said women at the gym dress like whores now. On SNL. During a national conversation about consent. So, can we please stop trying to make Shane Gillis happen? No matter what a woman wears, she was not asking to be assaulted. If you tell women to change their clothes so they don't get assaulted, you are saying assault is the understood byproduct of being a woman. And that's not true. Comedy is supposed to be funny. I've heard jokes that are offensive to me that I still understand are funny to other people. This wasn't funny. This was classifying 50% of the population as a literal slur. And when it's just a joke is the defense? That's an abuse tactic. Every abusive man has used it to gaslight a woman about the degrading thing he just said. You're not overreacting. You are reacting to the fact that somebody just said something shitty. Then on Ask L2: a listener has six "can I pick your brain" coffee invites this month and wants to say no without being the villain. You're never the villain for having boundaries. And you lift while you climb. Stay to the end for the password. It's 867-5309. 00:01:01 Shane Gillis - The charisma of a wooden spoon 00:01:45 Getting sued by David Letterman would be an honor 00:02:09 Can we please stop trying to make Shane Gillis happen? 00:03:24 The conversation we're having right now 00:04:03 There should be no question 00:04:19 Assault is not a byproduct of being a woman 00:04:39 A stupid time to say this thing 00:05:08 Why haven't you been to a gym in that long? 00:05:27 You're a comedian. You're supposed to be funny. 00:05:49 Not banned from SNL 00:06:41 Do we remember his origin story? 00:07:18 Without the usefulness 00:08:03 A thousand ways to tell that joke 00:08:46 "This is just comedy" 00:09:17 This wasn't funny 00:09:28 Why does he keep getting the stage? 00:10:41 Edgy for the sake of being edgy 00:11:13 Why I keep showing up here 00:12:34 Add the neon short shorts to cart 00:12:59 Let's go be undesirable 00:13:30 We don't do it for your gaze 00:13:49 Why "it's just a joke" is an abuse tactic 00:14:33 You're not overreacting 00:15:25 Ask L2: six "can I pick your brain" coffees If something in this episode hit close to home: RAINN, 800-656-HOPE (4673) or online.rainn.org · National Domestic Violence Hotline, 800-799-SAFE (7233), or text START to 88788. More at yourenottoomuchpodcast.com · Leave me a voicemail at yourenottoomuchpodcast.com/voicemail

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Introvert Networking: I Peopled for Three Days and Actually Liked It

This episode is sponsored by ParentAgent. Founder Barbara Ballard spent twenty years in UX and still missed her own kid's early dismissal. So she built ParentAgent. It reads the school and activity email and hands you the list — school, camp, sports, both kids. It doesn't train on your family's data, doesn't sell it, and you can delete all of it. It’s free to start, at parentagent.io/L2. I’m gonna say something that’s going to shock everyone listening. I went to a three-day event. By myself. On an airplane. With a bunch of strangers. And I really freaking enjoyed myself. I’m painfully introverted. Usually three days of peopling leaves my social battery so drained that I’m never talking to another human again. This time I came home tired, but the good kind. Here’s the thing. It was a room full of health tech founders who have been where you are and know the way out. Nobody bragged about their successes. We talked a whole lot about failures. No judgment. Also, I was so hyperfocused on my to-do list in the hotel lobby that I almost walked face first into Kevin Durant. I didn’t recognize him. It was like seeing a fish on land. Then on Ask L2: a listener runs a one-person business, hasn’t taken a week off in three years, and is starting to resent the thing they built to get free. Where do you even start? Do as I say, not as I do. Turn your freaking phone off. Chapters 00:00:00 Cold open 00:00:31 Welcome to You’re Not Too Much 00:00:45 Brace yourself 00:01:25 I really freaking enjoyed myself 00:02:00 Are we sure this is New Jersey? 00:02:54 Fancy food and one coconut cheesecake 00:03:47 Invigorating, not exhausting 00:04:17 People who have been where you are 00:05:01 Reentry whiplash 00:06:15 Nobody suspected I never wear shoes 00:06:40 Counting backward 00:07:45 Two hours of hyperfocus in the great room 00:09:17 Wait, strangers just start conversations? 00:10:02 A very tall man on the stairs 00:11:39 Like seeing a fish on land 00:11:57 "You saw Kevin Durant?" 00:12:42 The guests who wouldn’t check out 00:13:31 What else did I miss? 00:14:55 Ask L2: no week off in three years 00:15:54 Turn your freaking phone off 00:16:50 The false economy of never resting 00:17:43 All I want is to not be needed 00:17:58 Nothing will fall apart in one week 00:18:31 Love you, mean it More at yourenottoomuchpodcast.com · Leave me a voicemail at yourenottoomuchpodcast.com/voicemail

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Imposter Syndrome: Wildly Successful and Still That 12-Year-Old Girl

This episode is sponsored by Aging Together. Founded by occupational therapist Dr. Pooja A. Patel, Aging Together helps families navigate aging and caregiving before it becomes a crisis. Start your journey today at aging-together.com/nottoomuch where you can use discount code NOTTOOMUCH10 for $10 off the already-discounted elder care planning bundles. I've been doing this podcast for 18 months, and I am still mortified that I have a podcast. Newsflash: that has not changed. What has changed is everything else. Last month our tiny show — me, in my office, running my mouth into a microphone — showed up on the US mental health chart one row above Sanjay Gupta's podcast. We passed 400,000 downloads. We became a network. A sponsored network. And every single time, my brain said that's probably not gonna last. Or somebody made a mistake. Here's the thing. I have three exits. I run a consulting company. And at my core, I am still that 12-year-old girl who is very concerned that you're not gonna come to my birthday party. We can be wildly successful and also that little kid. That's kinda gotta be okay. Also in this one: You're Not In Charge of the Scale, the new show on our network from pediatrician Dr. Stephanie Walsh. Five more shows in production. Why sponsors won't change a single thing about my mouth. And on Ask L2, a listener bought 14 project management apps and still runs the whole business off sticky notes. Is that a system? Yes. Is it a good system? No. Does it have to be? Chapters 00:00:00 Cold open 00:00:47 Welcome to You're Not Too Much 00:01:01 18 months in and still mortified 00:02:45 Why my brain won't let me enjoy a win 00:03:46 My producer told me not to look at the charts 00:05:33 One row above Sanjay Gupta 00:07:34 Before my brain undoes it 00:08:29 400,000 downloads 00:08:56 Wildly successful and still that 12-year-old girl 00:10:01 Big news: we're a network 00:10:36 Meet You're Not In Charge of the Scale 00:11:07 Five more shows in production 00:11:53 We're a sponsored network 00:12:43 A year ago, this was a pipe dream 00:14:16 Will sponsors change what I say? 00:16:02 Ask L2: 14 apps and a business run on sticky notes 00:19:06 Is it a system? Is it a good one? 00:20:10 It's 12:12 More at yourenottoomuchpodcast.com Leave me a voicemail at yourenottoomuchpodcast.com/voicemail

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The Cornell 7: They Assign Essays When They're Embarrassed

This episode is sponsored by Aging Together. Founded by occupational therapist Dr. Pooja A. Patel, Aging Together helps families navigate aging and caregiving before it becomes a crisis. Start your journey today at aging-together.com/nottoomuch where you can use discount code NOTTOOMUCH10 for $10 off the already-discounted elder care planning bundles. Content note: the second half of this episode talks about sexual assault. Senior year. AP Government. A teacher who was also a lawyer, who made us call him Doctor, and who told us in literally every class to question authority. So one day, we did. The test he left made no sense. We talked it through as a class, decided not to take it until he could clarify, and left him a signed note explaining why. He came back furious. Threatened to fail all of us. Gave us a presentation on groupthink. Then assigned us two five-page essays. It took me years to understand what that was. They assign essays when they're embarrassed that you did what they taught you to do. Which is why I can't stop thinking about Cornell, where a lawsuit filed this month says a woman was sexually assaulted by seven fraternity members in 2024, and that some of them were allowed to write an essay to keep their place at school. Cornell says essays weren't anybody's only consequence. I'd love to see the rest of the list. The two stories are miles apart. The intent behind the punishment is the same. This is cultural. It's not an accident. And an essay is not a punishment. Since I recorded this, the Tompkins County District Attorney has reopened the criminal investigation and says the case is going to a grand jury. 00:00:00 Cold open 00:00:19 Welcome to You're Not Too Much 00:00:33 The teacher who made us call him Doctor 00:04:05 The test nobody could take 00:06:38 He came back the next day 00:08:48 About that doctorate 00:11:47 The point: Cornell and the essay 00:14:37 This is cultural, not an accident 00:15:24 Miles apart. Same intent. 00:17:52 Cornell should be ashamed If this brings anything up for you, RAINN's National Sexual Assault Hotline is free, confidential and open 24/7. Call 800-656-4673, text HOPE to 64673, or chat at rainn.org. More at yourenottoomuchpodcast.com · Leave me a voicemail at yourenottoomuchpodcast.com/voicemail

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Brain Fog and Existential Dread: Why I Can't Find My Words

This episode is sponsored by Aging Together. Founded by occupational therapist Dr. Pooja A. Patel, Aging Together helps families navigate aging and caregiving before it becomes a crisis. Start your journey today at aging-together.com/nottoomuch where you can use discount code NOTTOOMUCH10 for $10 off the already-discounted elder care planning bundles. I don't want to brag, but I am very advanced for my age. Not in the good way. My short-term memory is gone, my word recall has the range of somebody thirty years older than me, and my entire skill set is words. That's it. That's the whole job. I lost the word for grass. In a yard. Looking at grass. So this one is me trying to work out what's actually going on in there — perimenopause, dehydration, the crushing existential dread of this timeline, or the sheer number of people who need something from me at any given time. Spoiler: it's all of it. We get into what it actually costs to be the person everyone offloads to, why delegating something and then having to chase it isn't delegating at all, and why my calendar is now the only place reality is stored. And Janna asks whether hyperfocus is an asset in a small business or just expensive, which I did not enjoy being asked. If you're finding yourself unable to find your words, they're fine. They're in a field somewhere having a lovely time without you. Come stand in the corner with me. We can cry together. Chapters 00:00:00 Cold open 00:00:45 Welcome to You're Not Too Much 00:00:59 I am very advanced for my age 00:01:38 The word was grass 00:02:26 My entire skill set is words 00:03:08 You want some anxiety? I've got extra 00:03:31 Shiny object, and the link I never click 00:05:29 What it's actually like in here 00:06:21 I could tell you where I got everything in my closet 00:06:58 I don't remember where I got these kids 00:07:12 Why this timeline is making it worse 00:09:11 The personal load on top of the cosmic one 00:10:38 Delegating isn't offloading 00:12:53 Break 00:12:57 The anxiety that never switches off 00:13:38 Two thoughts, all the time 00:14:51 Every time the phone pings 00:15:50 Healthcare. That's the thing that we do. 00:16:46 Come stand in the corner with me 00:17:25 Ask L2: is hyperfocus an asset or just expensive? 00:21:47 Love you, mean it More at yourenottoomuchpodcast.com · Got a question for Ask L2? Leave it at yourenottoomuchpodcast.com/voicemail

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How to Survive a Toxic Job When You Can't Afford to Quit

It was like a switch flipped. I had a job. Jobs are good. We like jobs. It paid my bills, it sucked, it was awful, and it was crushing my soul — and I had decided that's just what being an adult is. My whole life was operating in shades of gray. Not the interesting kind. Nothing was exciting, and it didn't even occur to me that things were supposed to be. Then one insidious thought got into my brain: if the alternative to this sucks and this already sucks, why not try the new suck? Thirty seconds later I was done. My CEO sent me a Slack at 8:30 one morning — not the worst thing he'd ever said, honestly pretty benign — but the glass was already broken, and you can't put glass back together. Resignation letter, thirty minutes later. Zero plan. Zero idea what was next. I don't regret it. The whole life I have now came out of that one decision. But I wish I'd done it differently, and that's the actual episode. Then an Ask L2 from Tanya: do you tell a new client you're neurodivergent before you start, or are you just handing them a reason to be weird about you for six months? And if you want the version of this with actual people in the room, we've just launched Leave Your Sh*tty Job over at What The Fractional. It's pay what you can, the minimum is a dollar, and the point of it is that you end up leaving or staying because it's the choice you made, not the one you got forced into: https://whatthefractional.com 🎧Every episode: https://yourenottoomuchpodcast.com 📞Leave me a voicemail: https://yourenottoomuchpodcast.com/voicemail 💬 Come find the rest of us: https://alwaysquirky.com

Lindsay Clancy, Postpartum Illness and Why We're Missing the Point

I miss my dad. You know that. What you might not know is that he was a forensic psychiatrist for 55 years, I ran his practice for 10 of them, and on a case like Lindsay Clancy's, he's exactly who would've been called to testify. So for the last couple of weeks I've had his voice in my ear. Screaming. Not about postpartum illness. That conversation is correct — women get sick after babies, they're scared to say so, they deserve better help. All of it, yes. He'd be screaming because that's not what happened here. Lindsay Clancy was diagnosed bipolar. That came out at trial. She was complaining of racing thoughts, worsening intrusive thoughts and no sleep, and somebody's answer was to increase her antidepressant — a thing that is documented to make bipolar patients worse. Her illness didn't make her psychotic. Her medication did. And if we don't separate "postpartum illness" from "shit-ass medical care," every woman who's already scared to disclose gets more scared. I'm not a clinician. I say that about six times in this episode. This is his rant, from beyond the grave, delivered by the person who sat in the depositions. Heads up: this one talks about postpartum mental illness, bipolar disorder, the Lindsay Clancy case (including the deaths of her children) and, briefly, suicide. Look after yourself. If you're postpartum and struggling: Postpartum Support International, 1-800-944-4773. If you're in crisis: call or text 988.

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Idris Elba Lost His Piece In My Bedroom Once - A Saturday Sidequest

Idris Elba jumped off my nightstand at three o'clock in the morning. Ten minutes before my alarm. Which was also set for three o'clock in the morning, because I had that much work to get to. There is nothing in that room that can fall, and I lay there in the dark going "what?" So Kyle and I went looking for the piece, under nightstands that have about an eight-inch gap at the bottom. ⏱️ Chapters 00:00:00 I named my CPAP Idris Elba 00:00:11 3am: the thunk 00:00:45 The clip is broken 00:01:28 One plastic clip is my entire edge 00:01:58 Under the nightstand 00:02:27 I am leaving the dust bunnies 00:02:46 Kyle was not leaving the dust bunnies 00:03:15 Vacuuming at 11pm

Women at Work: You’re Not Too Much, They’re Not Enough

Every time I talk publicly about being a woman at work, the first response is the same. It’s never "that sounds hard." It’s "well, I had a terrible boss once, and she was a woman." Yeah. Okay. Women are allowed to suck, too. Plenty of men suck and we just accept that as fine. So this episode is about the two women you’re allowed to be in a workplace that was not built for you. The one who shrinks to fit — who gets told she’s too big, too loud, too many ideas, and folds all of it up inside herself, hands her ideas to somebody else so they’ll get heard, stops saying the thing she knows is going to go wrong. And the one who strikes to kill — who was taught there’s only ever room for one of her, so she leaves no space for the next one coming up behind. They’re the same woman. Same message, two ways out. You are not allowed here, you should feel lucky we let you in, and if you’re uncomfortable with how we do things then you should shut up or leave. I’ve talked to thousands of women over the last five years who live inside that, and I lived inside it myself. I’m the person who had to hand her idea to the nearest male coworker because it would be taken seriously from him and ignored from me. All of that is evidence of a problem with the workplace. It is not evidence of a problem with you. You are not intimidating. They’re intimidated. Nobody is going to make them do the work to find out why you’re such a threat, so you’re going to stay a threat — but you do not have to make yourself smaller to fix something you didn’t break. You’ve been the same person the whole time. You are not too much. They are not enough. Plus: breaking news on the semicolon rant, in which four actual English professors turn up to tell me I was right. And an Ask L2 from Kieran, who wants an exemption from the don’t-fight-with-pigs rule for a pig who owes him $4,000. CHAPTERS 00:00:00 "You are not allowed here" 00:00:23 Welcome to You’re Not Too Much 00:00:37 What always happens when I talk about women at work 00:01:08 Women are allowed to suck, too 00:01:46 I wish you the success of the mediocre white male 00:02:25 Persona one: the woman who shrinks to fit 00:04:13 Persona two: the woman who strikes to kill 00:05:09 Both of those are the same thing 00:06:37 Thousands of women, same paradigm 00:07:57 Give it to your nearest male coworker 00:08:19 A problem with the workplace, not a problem with you 00:08:28 You are not intimidating. They’re intimidated. 00:09:03 What you actually owe a job you need 00:09:44 You are not too much 00:10:04 They are not enough 00:10:57 Do enough to survive, then find a place that doesn’t suck 00:11:05 Ten thousand levers you don’t need to pull 00:11:20 You’ve been the same person the whole time 00:11:55 Your five to nine is better than your nine to five 00:12:03 A toxic waste dump and no hazmat suit 00:12:31 What professionalism actually means 00:12:57 Why the show is now called You’re Not Too Much 00:13:25 Breaking news: the semicolon rant, vindicated 00:15:26 Ask L2 — "This pig owes me $4,000" 00:16:37 You can have whatever tone you want 00:17:15 The strongly worded email Every episode: https://yourenottoomuchpodcast.com Leave me a voicemail: https://yourenottoomuchpodcast.com/voicemail Come find the rest of us: https://alwaysquirky.com

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Husband's New Toy - A Saturday SideQuest

I heard the Fed Ex van. Which means my husband bought something else stupid. P.S. If you are the household's designated Reasonable Adult — the one doing the mental maths on everybody else's impulse purchases — this is a very short episode to let you know you are very seen.

He Smashed Into It — Then Waited 9 Hours To Tell Me To My Face

Right. Semicolons. There is one rule of semicolons. I wonder if you can guess what that is. I was a journalism major and the first time my professor taught us the situations where a semicolon is appropriate, I put my hand up and told him the only rule is don't. If you disagree you may want to skip this episode. But not before you bite me. But that's just one of the things we have for this week, friends. We walked out of the house to go and get french fries and there was a car two houses down that didn't look right. When we tracked the skid marks back to their origin, we quickly found out why. I'll tell you all about Carlos. Spoiler alert, this story is not going where you think it is. Then Ask L2, from Ray: everyone tells him the money's in the room, but the room is two hundred people, a buffet and compulsory eye contact. Is there a version of networking that doesn't involve the room? Grab a pen. I have the lesson plan for you. 🎧 Apple Podcasts | Spotify Membership community for awesome people who know they're worth more than the standard average mediocre white men: http://whatthefractional.com/ 📞 Voicemail line, for Ask L2 questions, small talk, brags and fights: https://differentnotbrokenpodcast.com/voicemail 💬 Come and argue with us in the Quirky community, it's free: https://alwaysquirky.com

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Grief Doesn't Get Smaller. You Grow Around It.

Same show, same me, new name on the door. If your app says You're Not Too Much and you were looking for Different, Not Broken — you're in the right place, nothing has changed except the sign. There's that saying that all roads lead to Rome. In my life, all roads lead back to my dad. If there's something annoying I do, it came from him. If there's something good I do, it came from him too. I'm good at business because he was abhorrent at it — I took over his practice at 21 because it was a mess and that is not how you're supposed to do anything. He was also the best doctor I have ever met, and I don't say that because he was my dad. Sometimes those two things don't go together. August 21st, he will have been gone for ten years. We recorded this two days out. Here's the thing about ten years. In the first week I remember thinking there was no way we would ever get here — that I could not be a person for a decade without him, that it was structurally impossible. Except I'm here. And I have a ten-year-old who got six weeks with him, and who was six weeks early, which is a level of detail the universe did not have to include and included anyway. There's an idea that you survive grief. That you get to the other side of it. There is no other side of grief. It doesn't end. It doesn't stop. Some days it might as well be the day it happened, and some days are worse. My grief is not smaller. I've just grown around it. The life around him got so much bigger that it takes up less of my brain — but he's still at the middle of it, I still talk about him like he's here, he's still in every decision I make, and he still drives me fricking crazy, which I assume is the job. I tell you about the drive to get everybody dinner, the first time I'd properly been alone since he died, and asking out loud into an empty car for anything at all. And what was in the text box on my phone when I picked it up again. I didn't type it. I'm not a woo-woo afterlife person. I'm just telling you what was there. And I leave you with my youngest, who asked what Pop Pop's real name was, found out how Jewish naming works, and reached a conclusion I could not argue with. Ten years. He hasn't left. Here's to a long time more of missing him. This one is about my dad, and about grief. If today isn't the day for that, it'll still be here when it is. 🎧 You're Not Too Much — honest, funny conversations about neurodivergence, mental health, burnout and being human. 📞 Leave me a voicemail: https://differentnotbrokenpodcast.com/voicemail 💬 Come hang out with the rest of us in the Quirky community (it's free): https://alwaysquirky.com 🌐 Everything else: https://differentnotbrokenpodcast.com

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You're Not Too Much: Betting on Yourself When You're Scared

Same feed. Same me. New name. If you subscribed to Different, Not Broken, you're in the right place and there is nothing for you to do — this show is now called You're Not Too Much, and it lives on the Different, Not Broken Network alongside everything else we're building. Same host, same voicemail line, same everything. Just a name that finally says what the show has always been about. Now. On to it. There are extremely good reasons not to start a business. You have a job. You don't want the stress, the minutia, the responsibility. You have a non-compete. You have bills, and in the US you have health insurance to think about. All of that is valid and I am not one of those people who acts like having a job is embarrassing. If you're paying your bills and taking care of your people, you're doing the right thing. But if the reason you're not betting on yourself is what somebody else might think — that's not a reason. What other people think about you is not your business. What they say when you're not in the room has nothing to do with you. And in my experience the people who actually matter don't have the time or the calories to hold an opinion about what you're doing that isn't a positive one. If a negative one does turn up, it's a two-second blip and then they've forgotten and gone back to their day. So the critic you're performing for is imaginary. You built him. Tell him to get bent and get to work. In this one: why "I don't have the connections" is the easiest problem on the list, why the referrals that actually land come from people nowhere near your industry, the fact that someone less qualified than you is already getting paid to teach the thing you know better, what networking is and very much is not, and my new career in bowling alley maintenance — a field I invented mid-sentence and now urgently need to know about. Then Ask L2, which is what Small Talk is called now. Deborah writes in: she hired someone to take the admin off her plate and has spent three weeks secretly redoing their work at midnight. Bad boss, or bad delegator? Not a bad boss. Possibly a bad delegator. There's a difference, it's fixable, and I go through exactly how — including how people successfully manage me, which takes a lot, and the employee I genuinely loved who was in completely the wrong job. Space expands. Let's fill it. — Voicemail line — Ask L2, brags, fights: https://differentnotbrokenpodcast.com/voicemail — Quirky community (free): https://alwaysquirky.com — What The Fractional: https://whatthefractional.com/

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Different, Not Broken Is Becoming You’re Not Too Much

Okay. Big news and I want to get the important part out of the way in the first line: nothing you’re subscribed to breaks. Same host, same feed, same weekly nonsense. You don’t have to do anything. Here’s what’s actually happening. We’ve been doing this for over a year. In that time, the person who was most resistant to this podcast — a podcast that was, and I cannot stress this enough, her own idea — started building podcasts for other people. We’re also, apparently, in the top 40 on the Apple charts. So it's time there’s a network now. Different, Not Broken becomes the DNB Network — a home for a batch of new shows, all built on the same idea: authoritative people who are also, genuinely, credible. And sometimes freakin' hilarious. One launches immediately and several are behind it, and you’ll meet those hosts as we bring them in. And to make room for all of that, this show gets a new name. We are becoming You’re Not Too Much. I’m excited and scared and then excited again. But so many of us have spent our whole lives being told we’re too much — too loud, too direct, too sensitive, too something — and we’re not. You’re not. You’re perfect exactly the way you are. You’re not too much, and you are at the same time enough. That’s the name. That’s the whole reason for the name. Same feed. Same host. New stupid stuff, plus all the old stupid stuff. Every week, sometimes more than once. — 🎧 You’re Not Too Much, a Different, Not Broken podcast — honest, funny conversations about neurodivergence, mental health, burnout and being human. 📞 Leave me a voicemail (Ask L2, brags, fights): https://differentnotbrokenpodcast.com/voicemail 💬 Come fight me in the Quirky community (it’s free): https://alwaysquirky.com 🌐 Everything else: https://differentnotbrokenpodcast.com

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The Sandwich Generation, a 4am Fall, and a $6 Box of Equal

I broke the sacred Pact of Daughters. I let my mother run out of Equal. That is the funny half. Here’s the other half. My mother lives two blocks away, alone. She falls. I don’t let her drive. Her home health company didn’t show up for ten days and neither of them thought to tell me. On Saturday she sent me to voicemail. At four in the morning, my husband was standing next to the bed telling me my mother had called him — not me. So the thing I kept telling myself wouldn’t happen, happened. And I don’t know what we do now. Raising parents is 1,000 times harder than raising children, and I will die on that hill. And this week's episode is digesting all of this, and wondering what this crazy timeline has lined up for us next. Then Alison brings a Small Talk from Nada, who raised her rates 40% and needed help with processing that. But yeah, The sandwich generation is not for the faint of heart. Mentioned in this episode: Become a podcast sponsor

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They Called My Mom Fat. It Absolutely Wasn't That.

My mother has had a serious health issue for six months. Nobody treated it. It was in her chart. Six studies confirmed it. Ten doctors saw her this year, and every one of them told her to lose weight. Here’s the thing. She wasn’t eating. Not “eating less” — not eating, for days at a time, and still gaining weight in places she had never gained weight before. Sleeping all day. Couldn’t walk the way she used to. Couldn’t breathe. And every appointment ended the same way. Lose weight. Exercise more. You’re getting older. She could have died. And it would not have been her body’s fault. It would have been someone’s. I work in healthcare. I know what to look for, I speak the jargon, I know which doors to knock on and whose favour to call in. It still took six months and a twenty-dollar device from Walmart. So what happens to the woman who doesn’t know any of that? This one is angry. I’m not going to pretend otherwise. And then Alison brings a Small Talk from Brianna, who wants to know whether her big, loud, takes-up-the-whole-room ADHD joy was ever actually the problem — or whether the problem was just people who couldn’t hold it. That one I had an answer for immediately. 🎧 Different, Not Broken — honest, funny, occasionally furious conversations about neurodivergence, mental health, healthcare and being a person - https://differentnotbrokenpodcast.com/ 📞 Leave me a voicemail (small talk, brags, fights): https://differentnotbrokenpodcast.com/voicemail 💬 Come hang out with the rest of us in the Quirky community (it’s free): https://alwaysquirky.com Mentioned in this episode: Become a podcast sponsor

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Bet On Yourself (Even When Nobody Else Will)

The CEO said something shitty to me at 8:00 in the morning and I resigned by 8:30. There was no plan. There was no thought process. There was just a body that physically could not do it for one more day. So I called a family member. Someone who owns a business, has owned one for years, who understands small business, who had let me call and cry through every terrible month of that job. In my mind I was talking to exactly the right person. I told them I didn't think I could go back to work. That I thought I had to find a way to work for myself. That I didn't know what that looked like, but I thought I could do it. And they said: no. That's a terrible idea. Every ounce of cobbled-together confidence I'd scraped up in the days since — gone. All the air went out of the universe. What I heard was I don't think you should bet on yourself. I don't think that's what they meant. But that's what I heard. This episode is what came after. The consulting company that started completely by accident. The job I took because someone who loved me told me it was what I was supposed to do. The boss who told me "it's not if you get it, it's when" during early COVID, while I was the primary caretaker for my mom, who had just had an organ transplant. The fact that I have spent years remembering that I quit that job when actually — I've just realised — they fired me. Which is fine, by the way. Getting fired gets a bad rap. Let someone pay you to go away. There is no greater joy in life. Six years on, I make significantly more than the person who told me not to start my own business. I don't say that to brag. I say it because somebody else's faith in you should not be the thing that decides whether you bet on yourself. Even people who love you will give you bad advice. Even people who know their own business very well might not know yours. Take in opinions. Let them influence your perception. Don't let them make the decision. Then Alison brings a Small Talk from Tamara in Louisiana, whose son was diagnosed autistic at five. Her mother-in-law said she was letting doctors label him. Her father said she was looking for excuses. Her husband believed it immediately and has been his biggest champion ever since. She asked: how do you love someone who won't do the work of understanding the person you love most? Don't sit at the table with them. I have an infinite amount of love and a finite amount of space. The love is awarded whether you want it or not — once I give it to you, I don't take it back. The space is awarded on a merit system, and you have to earn it. You are worth betting on. I would bet on you. So you should bet on you too. 🎧 Different, Not Broken — honest, funny conversations about neurodivergence, mental health, burnout, and being a person. 📞 Leave me a voicemail — Small Talk, brags, fights: https://differentnotbrokenpodcast.com/voicemail 💬 Come argue with us in the Quirky community (it's free): https://alwaysquirky.com Learn more: https://differentnotbrokenpodcast.com Contains strong language.

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Is Mitch McConnell Alive? I Have Questions. And 40 Tabs On Fire.

I woke up in the middle of the night, checked my phone, and read that Lindsey Graham died. My brain, naturally, read it as Mitch McConnell — because who among us can tell them apart — and from there the whole weekend was just political whiplash. This one is a tour of the chaos of this timeline. A senator had been missing for almost a month. They said he was "working remotely," and I said, yeah, me too, the only difference is I'm just dead inside. His wife left the country. Contractors were redoing his floors. And I had a lot of questions that nobody was interested in answering, so I did what I do: I made it funny. Somewhere in there I decided "The Dead Senators" would make an excellent throwback band name (the genre, obviously, is French Regency punk with banjos — a punk rock minuet), I invited everyone to come fight me in our Quirky community, where the Daily Fights have already established that the only acceptable pen is a Pilot V10 in purple and the jury is still out on whether a hot dog is a taco. And then the part that matters most. A Small Talk from Kristen in North Carolina: "I'm a 38-year-old woman with ADHD, and I look fine. From the inside, I'm running 40 browser tabs, three of which are on fire, and I haven't replied to a text from my sister in 11 days. I want someone to say out loud that looking fine and being fine are not the same thing." So here it is, out loud: they are not the same thing, and you are allowed to be a put-together human on the outside and a hot mess on the inside. Nobody has it together. Nobody knows what they're doing. We are all raw-dogging life with no guidebook — least of all a guidebook for this exact timeline — and the sooner we stop pretending otherwise, the better. 🎧 Different, Not Broken — honest, funny conversations about neurodivergence, mental health, burnout, and being human. 📞 Leave me a voicemail (small talk, brags, fights): https://differentnotbrokenpodcast.com/voicemail Learn more: https://differentnotbrokenpodcast.com Contains strong language and political commentary. Mentioned in this episode: Wanna learn to write like me? Here's how you can! Writing Course Become a podcast sponsor

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Taylor Swift Wedding Drama, President Trump's Billions, And Service Staff Love

I keep getting thanked by restaurant staff. Not for tipping well. For not screaming at them. Hi, I'm Lauren Howard (you can call me L2) and this is my podcast Different, Not Broken - which is about exactly that. This one covers a lot of ground: why service staff now brace for impact over an overcooked salmon, why I tipped extra for honesty, and — since the outrage economy makes no sense to me — why Taylor Swift's wedding has the internet in a chokehold while Donald Trump has made $2 billion he can hold in his disgusting sweaty fat hands and nobody seems to care. What starts with an inedible salmon at Chili's, and a misplaced pizza descends into the Taylor Swift wedding outrage — the double standard around wealthy women being self-indulgent, and where I think our collective anger would be far better spent. Plus, in Small Talk: Priya from Oregon has been the planner friend her whole life. 📞 Leave me a voicemail: https://differentnotbrokenpodcast.com/voicemail Learn more: https://differentnotbrokenpodcast.com Mentioned in this episode: Sponsor the show https://differentnotbrokenpodcast.com/sponsors Sponsor Different Not Broken Join Quirky

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