Bodies Behind The Bus

Amanda’s Story / YWAM / NIKO

In this episode, we continue our Youth With A Mission (YWAM) series with Amanda. At 18, a back injury ended her basketball dreams, so she joined a YWAM program hoping to grow her faith. Instead, she found strict rules, constant control, and a culture that pushed her to doubt herself. Amanda shares what her training looked like day to day, and then walks us through NICO, a five-day wilderness program in Costa Rica that left her and others deeply harmed. This is a hard story, but it is also one of survival, healing, and finding her voice again. Amanda now speaks out so others can make informed choices and know they are not alone. Content note: This episode talks about trauma, suicidal thoughts, disordered eating, and harm to animals. Please take care while listening. Support the show

Sarah's Story / YWAM / Pt. 2

Sarah's story continues. She returns to a Youth With A Mission (YWAM) base in the States, where a car accident leaves her hurt and exhausted. Instead of rest, she faces pressure to keep working and leading. In this episode, she describes a base culture built on strict molds, spiritual bypassing, and misogyny. When women disclose sexual assaults to her, leaders defend the men and dismiss the victims. Sarah then walks through her own relationship with Junior, which turned controlling and violent. She shares why she finally left YWAM and what she wants leaders to hear. This is part two of two. Support the show

Sarah's Story / YWAM / Pt. 1

Sarah joined Youth With A Mission (YWAM) at 22 and did her training school in Samoa. In this episode, she shares what happened on outreach in the Solomon Islands, where a fellow student assaulted her. When she told leaders, they blamed her, called it her sin, and separated her from the team while her abuser stayed. Sarah walks through the harm that followed and the few people who finally believed her. This is part one of two. Support the show

Jamie's Story / YWAM / Canada

Jamie joins Youth With A Mission (YWAM) at 17 and stays 25 years, from 1994 to 2020. Jamie describes how YWAM's Founders Circle holds authority without accountability. After the Pulse nightclub shooting, Jamie, speaks out publicly as an affirming Christian. He recounts two years of meetings with international leaders and a talk in which founder Loren Cunningham tells of praying judgment on a man who died the next day. Jamie shares why he and his wife walk away, what they lose, and the community they have now. Support the show

Skyla's Story / YWAM Kona, HI

Skyla shares her story of serving on a team called End Bible Poverty Now at Youth With A Mission's (YWAM) Kona campus in Hawaii, where she pushed leadership to support outreach to deaf communities. When she raised the issue, she was accused of being rude for crying and told she needed more discipleship. Skyla describes being tested, gaslit, and slowly pushed off her team, all while a separate clergy sexual abuse case was being quietly managed on campus. After she was let go, campus security posted false claims about her that stayed up for months. Today, Skyla shares her story to give voice to the many others harmed by YWAM Kona. If her story resonates with you, you can reach her at skylaspeaksout@gmail.com. Support the show

Shelby's Story / YWAM / Switzerland / Pt. 2

Shelby returns to finish her story of leaving Youth With A Mission (YWAM) after almost 20 years. Two friends she trusted rise to lead her base, and when she raises concerns about how they treat people, she is accused of attacking them. She is pushed off a program she built, then invited onto their leadership team to quiet her down instead. She takes a sabbatical during the pandemic and starts naming what happened to her as spiritual abuse. When her husband tries to renew the farm lease his family has held for decades, the same leaders try to hold it hostage until she agrees to reconcile with them. She reports them to top YWAM leadership and learns she is one of many victims, then runs into her alleged abusers at a global conference and on the flight home. She shares her full story with local leaders, watches YWAM avoid the word abuse, and is later blacklisted after her team is pressured to remove her from a course she was set to lead. She ends by speaking directly to YWAM leaders and to anyone still inside the organization. Support the show

Shelby's Story / YWAM / Switzerland / Pt. 1

Shelby joins us to share her story of almost 20 years with Youth With A Mission (YWAM), a Christian missions group with bases in nearly every country. She signs up at 24 to earn a counseling degree, hoping to help missionaries get better care. Instead, she is pushed to share painful secrets with strangers, watches a visiting speaker ask young women to sit on his lap for healing, and lives under a daily schedule that tracks her every move. She pushes through the flu because stopping looks weak, then nearly dies from dengue fever and dysentery in Haiti with no help paying the bills. She falls in love with a Swiss farmer, settles at a new YWAM base, and builds a close friendship that will change everything. This is part one of her story. Support the show

Intro To Stories From YWAM: Loren Cunningham And The Seven Mountain Mandate (Updated)

In this episode, Jay and Johnna introduce a new series featuring first hand stories from Youth With A Mission (YWAM). Before the storytellers share what happened to them, we take a step back and look at the roots. We cover who Loren Cunningham was, the Assemblies of God upbringing that shaped him, and how YWAM grew from a beach vision into a network of thousands of bases around the world with no central oversight. We also break down the Seven Mountain Mandate, an idea Loren helped start that has grown far beyond YWAM and now shapes today's political landscape. Along the way, we talk about how these beliefs and this structure can create a culture where abuse takes root and stays hidden, and we name some of the leaders still carrying this mandate forward today. References NBC News, “Pastors and Prey” series https://www.nbcnews.com/specials/pastors-prey/index.html NBC News, Assemblies of God investigation (Oct.30,2025) https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us news/assembly-god-church-shield-predators-child-sex-abuse-allegations-rcna240213 HoustonChronicle / San Antonio Express-News, “AbuseofFaith” https://www.houstonchronicle.com/news/investigations/abuse-of-faith/ YWAM.org, “Our Founders” https://ywam.org/about-us/our-founders LorenCunningham.com https://lorencunningham.com/ Christianity Today, “Died: Loren Cunningham, Who Launched Millions on Short- Term Missions” https://www.christianitytoday.com/2023/10/loren-cunningham- ywam-death-youth-with-mission/ Christianity Today, “Mike Bickle Accused of Abusing a 14-Year-Old Before IHOPKC’s Founding” https://www.christianitytoday.com/2024/02/mike-bickle- allegations-ihopkc-repent-investigation-report/ MinistryWatch, “Report Details 17 Cases of Abuse by IHOPKC Founder Mike Bickle” https://ministrywatch.com/report-details-17-cases-of-abuse-by-ihopkc- founder-mike-bickle/ Kat’s Story / YWAM / Tyler, Tx / Pt. 1 (prior BBTB episode) https://open.spotify.com/episode/3hp https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/kats-story-ywam-tyler-tx-pt-1/id1601586078?i=1000593690769 Kat’s Story / YWAM / Tyler, Tx / Pt. 2 (prior BBTB episode) https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bodies-behind-the-bus/id1601586078?i=1000593705604 Intro to Stories from The Austin Stone (prior BBTB episode) https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bodies-behind-the-bus/id1601586078?i=1000714367734 Support the show

ATBS "American Dominion: The Rise and Radicalization of a New Christendom" w/ Keri Ladner

Keri Ladner is the author of American Dominion: The Rise and Radicalization of a New Christendom. Her book traces the roots of the New Apostolic Reformation (NAR) and Dominion theology in the United States. She began her research while studying the Columbine shooting and how it was later used to build the martyr myths tied to this movement. Ladner also writes about these topics on Substack. American Dominion: The Rise and Radicalization of a New Christendom - Book Link Support the show

Bel's Story / Sydney Anglican Diocese

Bel joins us from Australia to share her story of growing up in a church in the Sydney Anglican Diocese. When she was six, she nearly died in an accident at church. Soon after, her family moved to a new church led by a man we call Rev T. He called himself a counselor and claimed he could help people no doctor could. Bel describes a community shaped by control, fear, and the constant feeling of being watched. She shares how Rev T's counsel tore her family apart, how her sister was sent away from home and put through an exorcism, and how a private meeting in his office crossed lines no pastor should ever cross. Today, Bel is a wife, a mom, and a survivor. She shares her story in the hope of making the church a safer place. Support the show

Jane's Story / Chi Alpha / Assemblies of God

In this episode, our storyteller Jane shares her years inside Chi Alpha, the college campus ministry of the Assemblies of God (AG). What began as a warm, welcoming community slowly turned into something else. Jane describes the pressure to lead, the strict rules over her time, friendships, money, and even her food and health, and the spiritual control that kept her silent for years. She walks us through her path from new student to leader, intern, and full staff missionary. She talks about the leadership "class" she paid to take, a retreat that changed her, the support raising system that left her broke, and the moment she finally found the strength to leave. Jane also speaks to the wider abuse that has come to light in Chi Alpha and the Assemblies of God, and why she chose to break her silence now. Her story is a powerful look at high control religion, the savior complex on the mission field, and the long road to healing. Jane closes with a message of hope for current members, for survivors, and for the leaders she hopes will repent. Chi Alpha Survivor Website http://xalionsden.com/ Support the show

Michelle’s Story / IN

Michelle shares her story of serving on staff at a church in Indiana, where subtle control, blurred pastoral authority, financial pressure, and spiritual manipulation slowly became clear over time. Her story names the confusion of being labeled, silenced, and pushed to question herself while navigating deep personal and family crisis. Through telling the truth, Michelle begins reclaiming the voice she was told to bury. Support the show

Katie’s Story / The Austin Stone

Katie shares her story of growing up in a highly controlled religious environment, entering a young marriage shaped by strict gender roles, and spending years overseas as a missionary. Through the pressures of ministry, isolation, and motherhood, she began to recognize patterns of emotional and spiritual harm in her life. This episode follows her journey of unraveling those beliefs, finding her voice, and taking steps toward healing and freedom. Support the show

Katherine's Story / Austin Stone Church

Katherine shares her journey from a young missionary sent overseas to confronting the realities of faith, sacrifice, and survival. Raised in the church and driven by a deep sense of purpose, she and her husband moved to the Middle East in their early twenties, navigating cultural barriers, personal risk, and the complexities of mission work. After experiencing trauma, health crises, and the unraveling of expectations, Katherine reflects on identity, belief, and what it means to rebuild life after everything changes. Support the show

Dominique's Story / The Austin Stone

Dominique shares her experience at The Austin Stone, where she became deeply involved in church life, missions, and leadership development as a young woman. In this episode, she reflects on the pressure, isolation, racial dynamics, and harmful church culture she encountered, and why telling the truth about those experiences matters. Support the show

Alicia's Story / OH

Alicia served for years as both a volunteer leader and staff member at a growing non-denominational church in Ohio. After becoming deeply involved in ministry and church leadership, she began noticing troubling patterns within the church’s culture and leadership structure. In this episode, Alicia courageously shares her story and reflects on the impact spiritual manipulation can have on individuals and communities. Support the show

Julia’s Story / PA

In this episode of Bodies Behind the Bus, Julia shares her story of becoming involved in an Acts 29 affiliated church plant that gradually shifted from hopeful beginnings into a culture of control, blurred boundaries, and spiritual harm. As she navigated marriage struggles, postpartum depression, and increasing pressure from church leadership, Julia began to see how manipulation, unmet promises, and power dynamics shaped her experience. Her story offers an honest look at how environments that appear vibrant and supportive can also cause deep personal and spiritual wounds. Support the show

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ATBS: w/ Ciji Wagner

In this episode of Bodies Behind the Bus, we’re joined by Ciji, founder of Louder Than Silence, an organization providing free, trauma-specific care and community for survivors of sexual violence. Together, we explore what trauma-informed spaces actually look like, the difference between big-T and little-t trauma, and how harm often compounds in faith communities through misplaced authority, lack of boundaries, and spiritual bypassing. This conversation centers on personal agency, the limits of pastoral care, and why learning to trust your body is essential to healing. A grounded, honest discussion for anyone navigating trauma, faith, and the search for truly safe community. Support the show

Convo w/ Christy & Joshua Pt 3

In the final episode of this three-part series, Christy and Joshua come together to reflect on the shared impact of spiritual abuse and the long road toward truth and healing. Their conversation explores how harm reverberates through relationships, what accountability should look like, and what it means to move forward without erasing what happened. This closing chapter centers survivor clarity, connection, and the power of telling the full story. Support the show

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Christy's Story / Anaheim, CA Pt 2

In Episode 2 of this three-part series, Christy shares her story of spiritual harm, silence, and survival within church systems that protected power over people. She reflects on the personal cost of being unheard, the impact on identity and faith, and the long road toward naming what happened. Christy’s testimony deepens the series by centering the lived experience of abuse and the courage it takes to speak after being dismissed. Support the show

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