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Beyond Skin Picking & Hair Pulling

Raffaela

Beyond Skin Picking & Hair Pulling is a refuge for the veterans of chronic skin picking, hair pulling, and nail biting, where we address this issue through the lens of addiction and holistic healing. Here, you learn how to heal through the root cause: emotional regulation, feeling deeply, understanding your past, trauma, the science of addiction, and the power of compassion.

When all the surface-level solutions have been exhausted, this is where your heart draws you - To the truth, deep healing, and freedom. It's time to come home to you.

My name is Raffaela Maire. I've healed from 15 years of chronic skin picking by treating it as an addiction and learning how to feel my feelings deeply. Now I am a coach helping others, like you, to heal as I did.

This podcast is where I endeavour to share everything I know with you so that you can find your path forward to creating long-term, sustainable change. Not only so you can reduce the length, severity, and frequency of picking, pulling, and biting sessions, but also to become more of the person you are at your core - confident, secure, sure, and wonderfully, beautifully unique.

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#134
Tuesday · 20 min
134: The Trick to Building Consistent GOOD HABITS (That Will Actually Help You)
You know there are habits that would be good for you. Exercising, meditating, journaling, doing the deeper work on yourself... And yet, no matter how many times you try, you just can't seem to stay consistent. Maybe you find the motivation when things get really bad, but as soon as life starts feeling better, those good habits slowly fall away again. There's a reason this keeps happening, and it might not be what you think. In this episode, you'll discover: ✨ Why waiting until things get bad to start building good habits can keep you stuck in a frustrating cycle ✨ Three common mistakes that make consistency so difficult — and practical ways to start doing things differently ✨ Why the way you feel about yourself can have such a powerful impact on your ability to follow through with the things you know are good for you Building good habits isn't about forcing yourself to do more or becoming perfectly disciplined. It's about learning how to make positive changes that feel achievable, meaningful and sustainable. And perhaps most importantly, understanding that consistency doesn't mean perfection. It means learning to keep coming back, even when you've fallen out of the habit. Every time you do, you're showing yourself that you're worth the effort. 💌Share your story - Book your FREE BFPA* Support Call with me ✅VIP Access to BFPA Masterclasses + Workshops 🌟Download your FREE Guide to Stop Skin Picking Using Somatics 🎯Join the 7-Day Skin Picking Recovery Challenge 🤓Sign up - FREE BFPA Monthly Masterclass ✨Join - BEYOND Support Group on WhatsApp 🙋‍♀️Send me a message here My name is Raffaela Marie. I'm a holistic BFRB coach who has healed from 15 years of chronic skin picking myself and dedicated my life to helping driven women do the same. Through my podcast, free resources, and programs, I teach strategies to overcome urges, build emotional safety, and expand into authenticity. My approach goes beyond quick fixes, focusing on root causes and long-term recovery.
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#133
October 6 · 20 min
133: This Is What Makes It Into an Addiction – Chronic Skin Picking & Hair Pulling
Why can chronic skin picking, hair pulling or nail biting become so incredibly addictive? You know the behaviour is hurting you. You desperately want to stop. And yet, your brain keeps pulling you back towards it again and again. There’s actually a reason for this — and when you understand what your brain has learned through these behaviours, so much starts to make sense. In this episode, you'll discover: ✨ How positive reinforcement, negative reinforcement and unpredictable rewards can combine to make picking, pulling and biting incredibly difficult to resist ✨ Why your brain learned to rely on these behaviours in the first place — and why it doesn't mean there's something wrong with you ✨ One of the biggest underlying factors fuelling the addictive cycle and where you can start focusing your healing instead Your brain learned that picking, pulling or biting could help you escape discomfort AND give you relief, soothing or satisfaction. But what your brain has learned, it can also learn to respond to differently. And by building your capacity to navigate your emotional world, you can slowly reduce how much you need these behaviours to do it for you. Resources: Emotion regulation deficits in skin picking (excoriation) disorder: A systematic review The clinical phenomenology of skin-picking disorder – Are there any obsessive-compulsive components? 💌Share your story - Book your FREE BFPA* Support Call with me ✅VIP Access to BFPA Masterclasses + Workshops 🌟Download your FREE Guide to Stop Skin Picking Using Somatics 🎯Join the 7-Day Skin Picking Recovery Challenge 🤓Sign up - FREE BFPA Monthly Masterclass ✨Join - BEYOND Support Group on WhatsApp 🙋‍♀️Send me a message here My name is Raffaela Marie. I'm a holistic BFRB coach who has healed from 15 years of chronic skin picking myself and dedicated my life to helping driven women do the same. Through my podcast, free resources, and programs, I teach strategies to overcome urges, build emotional safety, and expand into authenticity. My approach goes beyond quick fixes, focusing on root causes and long-term recovery.
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#132
September 29 · 15 min
132: Guided Evening Practice To Reduce Picking & Pulling Sessions
If evenings are when your picking, pulling or biting tends to get worse, this episode is something you can actually come back to and use when you need it. After a whole day of doing, thinking and being “on”, it can be incredibly difficult to suddenly slow down. Your body might be tired, but your nervous system is still carrying everything from the day and picking, pulling or biting can become the way you decompress. This episode is designed to give you another way. In this episode: ✨ I'll guide you through a grounding practice to help you slow down, decompress and give your nervous system space to regulate ✨ You'll practise coming back into your body and the present moment rather than automatically defaulting to picking, pulling or biting ✨ You'll learn how to meet yourself with more softness and compassion at the end of the day — even if you do find yourself picking, pulling or biting This isn't a quick fix, and it's not about having a perfect evening where you don't pick at all. It's a practice you can keep coming back to. And over time, you're building the skills to regulate, slow down and support yourself in the moments you would normally turn to picking, pulling or biting. 💌Share your story - Book your FREE BFPA* Support Call with me ✅VIP Access to BFPA Masterclasses + Workshops 🌟Download your FREE Guide to Stop Skin Picking Using Somatics 🎯Join the 7-Day Skin Picking Recovery Challenge 🤓Sign up - FREE BFPA Monthly Masterclass ✨Join - BEYOND Support Group on WhatsApp 🙋‍♀️Send me a message here My name is Raffaela Marie. I'm a holistic BFRB coach who has healed from 15 years of chronic skin picking myself and dedicated my life to helping driven women do the same. Through my podcast, free resources, and programs, I teach strategies to overcome urges, build emotional safety, and expand into authenticity. My approach goes beyond quick fixes, focusing on root causes and long-term recovery.
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#131
September 22 · 20 min
131: Could Meditation Be The Solution To Chronic Skin Picking & Hair Pulling? (Science Based)
What if one of the most powerful tools for healing from chronic skin picking, hair pulling or nail biting has nothing to do with trying to stop the urge? Meditation isn't about getting rid of urges. It can help us learn how to notice them, make space for them and not automatically act on them. And there’s some really interesting research showing us why this can be such a powerful practice. In this episode, you'll discover: ✨ What the science tells us about meditation, addiction and our ability to better handle stress and urges ✨ Why meditation can be such a powerful tool for healing from picking, pulling and biting without trying to replace the behaviour ✨ How to actually build a consistent meditation practice (even if you have ADHD or have struggled with consistency in the past) Meditation isn't the solution to chronic skin picking or hair pulling. But it can be a really powerful part of the puzzle. And you don't need to meditate for 30 minutes every day to experience the benefits. The most important part of the practice might simply be learning to keep coming back. Resources: Mindfulness treatment for substance misuse: A systematic review and meta-analysis Relative Efficacy of Mindfulness-Based Relapse Prevention, Standard Relapse Prevention, and Treatment as Usual for Substance Use Disorders The neuroscience of mindfulness meditation How Meditation for Addiction Can Help With Recovery 💌Share your story - Book your FREE BFPA* Support Call with me ✅VIP Access to BFPA Masterclasses + Workshops 🌟Download your FREE Guide to Stop Skin Picking Using Somatics 🎯Join the 7-Day Skin Picking Recovery Challenge 🤓Sign up - FREE BFPA Monthly Masterclass ✨Join - BEYOND Support Group on WhatsApp 🙋‍♀️Send me a message here My name is Raffaela Marie. I'm a holistic BFRB coach who has healed from 15 years of chronic skin picking myself and dedicated my life to helping driven women do the same. Through my podcast, free resources, and programs, I teach strategies to overcome urges, build emotional safety, and expand into authenticity. My approach goes beyond quick fixes, focusing on root causes and long-term recovery.
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#130
September 15 · 20 min
130: I Had a Good Childhood… So Why Am I Struggling?
If you had a good childhood, it can be really confusing to look at the ways you struggle today and wonder… why? You might even feel guilty exploring your past because your parents loved you, gave you so much, and other people had it far worse. But having a good childhood doesn't mean you received everything you emotionally needed. In this episode, you'll discover: ✨ Why you can have loving, well-intentioned parents and still carry emotional wounds from childhood ✨ How the emotional patterns within your family can help explain struggles like anxiety, people pleasing, perfectionism and chronic skin picking, hair pulling or nail biting ✨ Why understanding your past doesn't mean blaming your parents and how it can actually create more compassion for yourself AND them You don't have to dismiss the good parts of your childhood to acknowledge what might have been missing. Understanding both can help you connect the dots between who you were then and who you are today and give you so much more clarity on what you actually need to heal. Resources: Understanding Bowen Theory from The Family Systems Institute Understanding Bowen Family Systems Theory: Enhancing your relationships through emotional differentiation. 💌Share your story - Book your FREE BFPA* Support Call with me ✅VIP Access to BFPA Masterclasses + Workshops 🌟Download your FREE Guide to Stop Skin Picking Using Somatics 🎯Join the 7-Day Skin Picking Recovery Challenge 🤓Sign up - FREE BFPA Monthly Masterclass ✨Join - BEYOND Support Group on WhatsApp 🙋‍♀️Send me a message here My name is Raffaela Marie. I'm a holistic BFRB coach who has healed from 15 years of chronic skin picking myself and dedicated my life to helping driven women do the same. Through my podcast, free resources, and programs, I teach strategies to overcome urges, build emotional safety, and expand into authenticity. My approach goes beyond quick fixes, focusing on root causes and long-term recovery.
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#129
September 8 · 19 min
129: Why You CAN'T Just Replace Skin Picking + What Is 10x More Effective
If you’ve tried replacing chronic skin picking, hair pulling, or nail biting with something less destructive and found that, so far, the only result has been more frustration and a sense of hopelessness... This is because you can't replace it. You've essentially been beating your head against a wall in the hope that it will feel better. It's not your fault. I did this for years too! Until I found a more effective approach. In this episode, you'll discover: ✨ Why trying to replace picking, pulling or biting can actually create more stress and frustration ✨ The difference between adaptive and maladaptive coping mechanisms and why this is so important to understand in your healing ✨ What to start focusing on instead of constantly asking, “How do I stop?” or “What can I replace it with?” These behaviours serve a purpose. Instead of just trying to get rid of it, we can use it as an opportunity to understand yourself better, recognise the skills you might be missing, and learn healthier ways to navigate stress, emotions and difficult moments. Resources: Maladaptive Coping: 15 Behavior Examples & Mechanisms (Peer reviewed article) How Maladaptive Coping Strategies Maintain Anxiety Disorders (article) 💌Share your story - Book your FREE BFPA* Support Call with me ✅VIP Access to BFPA Masterclasses + Workshops 🌟Download your FREE Guide to Stop Skin Picking Using Somatics 🎯Join the 7-Day Skin Picking Recovery Challenge 🤓Sign up - FREE BFPA Monthly Masterclass ✨Join - BEYOND Support Group on WhatsApp 🙋‍♀️Send me a message here My name is Raffaela Marie. I'm a holistic BFRB coach who has healed from 15 years of chronic skin picking myself and dedicated my life to helping driven women do the same. Through my podcast, free resources, and programs, I teach strategies to overcome urges, build emotional safety, and expand into authenticity. My approach goes beyond quick fixes, focusing on root causes and long-term recovery.
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#128
September 1 · 26 min
128: Your Inner Critic Is Making You Pick - The Greatest Gift You Can Give Yourself
Your inner critic might be playing a much bigger role in your skin picking, hair pulling or nail biting than you realise. I've spoken to hundreds of people within this community, and this just keeps popping up in a very meaningful way, so it's time to unpack it together. In this episode, you'll discover: ✨ What your inner critic actually is and why it’s not your enemy ✨ Why fighting or trying to silence it can keep you stuck ✨ A simple perspective shift that can help you quiet your inner critic and change the way you relate to yourself Your inner critic has a purpose. Understanding that purpose might just be one of the greatest healing gifts you can give yourself. --- Qs for curiosity - Ask your inner critic this: For more context and to get the most out of these questions, make sure you listen to the full episode! Where did you learn this? Where did you learn that that's the truth? Who taught you this? What are you trying to protect me from right now? If you didn’t listen to your inner critic right now, what would you do instead? --- 💌Share your story - Book your FREE BFPA* Support Call with me ✅VIP Access to BFPA Masterclasses + Workshops 🌟Download your FREE Guide to Stop Skin Picking Using Somatics 🎯Join the 7-Day Skin Picking Recovery Challenge 🤓Sign up - FREE BFPA Monthly Masterclass ✨Join - BEYOND Support Group on WhatsApp 🙋‍♀️Send me a message here My name is Raffaela Marie. I'm a holistic BFRB coach who has healed from 15 years of chronic skin picking myself and dedicated my life to helping driven women do the same. Through my podcast, free resources, and programs, I teach strategies to overcome urges, build emotional safety, and expand into authenticity. My approach goes beyond quick fixes, focusing on root causes and long-term recovery.
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#127
August 25 · 28 min
127: Why You Can’t Relax at the End of the Day + The Shift That Can Change It
Do you get to the end of the day and feel restless, dissatisfied or like you haven't done enough? What if it's not because you've done something wrong or you need to do better, but because somewhere along the way, you learnt that feeling good is something you have to earn? In this episode, you'll learn: ✨ Why conditional love can make it so hard to relax and actually feel satisfied at the end of the day ✨ How we learn to use our emotions as "currency" and why this can leave us constantly searching for something to make us feel good ✨ A journaling practice to help you shift the emotions you feel stuck in so you can experience more peace, satisfaction and fulfilment I also share something I've never shared on the podcast before: a raw entry from my own journal after spending seven evenings doing nothing but sitting with myself and my feelings. This episode will give you a very different perspective on why it can feel like nothing you do is ever quite enough, and a tangible way to start changing that. 💌Share your story - Book your FREE BFPA* Support Call with me ✅VIP Access to BFPA Masterclasses + Workshops 🌟Download your FREE Guide to Stop Skin Picking Using Somatics 🎯Join the 7-Day Skin Picking Recovery Challenge 🤓Sign up - FREE BFPA Monthly Masterclass ✨Join - BEYOND Support Group on WhatsApp 🙋‍♀️Send me a message here My name is Raffaela Marie. I'm a holistic BFRB coach who has healed from 15 years of chronic skin picking myself and dedicated my life to helping driven women do the same. Through my podcast, free resources, and programs, I teach strategies to overcome urges, build emotional safety, and expand into authenticity. My approach goes beyond quick fixes, focusing on root causes and long-term recovery.
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#126
August 18 · 21 min
126: How To Stop Chronic Skin Picking & Hair Pulling
🙌A great follow-up episode to listen to after this one is 123: Stop The Spiral & Heal After a Picking, Pulling, or Biting Session What if the thing keeping you stuck in chronic skin picking, hair pulling, or nail biting isn't just the behaviour itself, but how you treat yourself because of it? For so many people in this community, there is one thing that shows up again and again: a loud inner critic. And the shame, judgment and relentless pressure it creates can actually become part of the reason you need picking, pulling or biting in the first place. In this episode, you'll learn: ✨ How your inner critic may be fuelling the cycle of picking, pulling or biting ✨ Why these behaviours can provide an escape from the noise inside your own mind ✨ How the way you treat yourself after a session can become a powerful opportunity for healing This isn't a quick fix. It's about building an inner foundation of compassion and support so that, over time, you simply don't need the behaviour in quite the same way. 💌Share your story - Book your FREE BFPA* Support Call with me ✅VIP Access to BFPA Masterclasses + Workshops 🌟Download your FREE Guide to Stop Skin Picking Using Somatics 🎯Join the 7-Day Skin Picking Recovery Challenge 🤓Sign up - FREE BFPA Monthly Masterclass ✨Join - BEYOND Support Group on WhatsApp 🙋‍♀️Send me a message here My name is Raffaela Marie. I'm a holistic BFRB coach who has healed from 15 years of chronic skin picking myself and dedicated my life to helping driven women do the same. Through my podcast, free resources, and programs, I teach strategies to overcome urges, build emotional safety, and expand into authenticity. My approach goes beyond quick fixes, focusing on root causes and long-term recovery.
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#125
August 11 · 19 min
125: The 3-Step Reset for Picking & Pulling Urges: Regain Control in the Moment
This isn't a quick fix, and it won't make the urge disappear. But it is a process that can help you create long-term, sustainable change. These 3 steps were vital in my own healing journey, and I continue to see them help my clients and other wonderful members of this community find their way forward. In this episode, you'll learn how to: ✨ Regulate your emotions through your breath and reconnect with your body ✨ Ask effective questions to better understand what you actually need ✨ Take intentional action that makes sense, feels good, and can actually move you forward Instead of seeing an intense urge as something you need to fight, fix, or get rid of, you'll learn how to use it as information - an opportunity to pause, check in with yourself, and respond differently. But there is one mistake that can completely derail this process and I'm yet to meet a person who doesn't make it. Listen in to learn how these 3 simple steps can change the way you respond to urges and, over time, change your relationship with skin picking altogether. 💌Share your story - Book your FREE BFPA* Support Call with me ✅VIP Access to BFPA Masterclasses + Workshops 🌟Download your FREE Guide to Stop Skin Picking Using Somatics 🎯Join the 7-Day Skin Picking Recovery Challenge 🤓Sign up - FREE BFPA Monthly Masterclass ✨Join - BEYOND Support Group on WhatsApp 🙋‍♀️Send me a message here My name is Raffaela Marie. I'm a holistic BFRB coach who has healed from 15 years of chronic skin picking myself and dedicated my life to helping driven women do the same. Through my podcast, free resources, and programs, I teach strategies to overcome urges, build emotional safety, and expand into authenticity. My approach goes beyond quick fixes, focusing on root causes and long-term recovery.
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#124
August 4 · 28 min
124: 2 Practical Steps to Stop Worrying What Other People Think
Do you find it hard to relax around other people? Do you get stuck in your head, worry about what others are thinking, or feel self-conscious in social situations, whether you're at work, with friends, or simply out in public? I feel with you. I used to be afraid to leave the house and struggled with crippling social anxiety. In this episode, I share the two skills that allowed me to outgrow these limitations, access more of who I am, and experience a sense of calm and peace in situations that used to have me sweating. The Two Skills: ✨ Emotional regulation – how to calm your nervous system through your breath and reconnecting with your body. ✨ Authenticity – tangible and practical ways to reconnect with who you are, so you can feel safer being you. If you're tired of overthinking every interaction and want to feel more comfortable, present, and at ease around other people, this episode is for you. Questions for reflection from this episode: 💛How am I different from a year ago? 💛What are the ways that I've grown and changed that I really like? 💛In what ways do I navigate difficult situations better than I used to? 💌Share your story - Book your FREE BFPA* Support Call with me ✅VIP Access to BFPA Masterclasses + Workshops 🌟Download your FREE Guide to Stop Skin Picking Using Somatics 🎯Join the 7-Day Skin Picking Recovery Challenge 🤓Sign up - FREE BFPA Monthly Masterclass ✨Join - BEYOND Support Group on WhatsApp 🙋‍♀️Send me a message here My name is Raffaela Marie. I'm a holistic BFRB coach who has healed from 15 years of chronic skin picking myself and dedicated my life to helping driven women do the same. Through my podcast, free resources, and programs, I teach strategies to overcome urges, build emotional safety, and expand into authenticity. My approach goes beyond quick fixes, focusing on root causes and long-term recovery.
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#123
July 28 · 20 min
123: Stop The Spiral & Heal After a Picking, Pulling, or Biting Session
A highly effective practice to reduce the length, severity and frequency of picking, pulling, and biting sessions happens when you least expect. 💜 The moments after a bad session can be some of the hardest. But what if I told you they were also one of the greatest opportunities for healing and growth? In my own healing journey, and in those of my clients, I've consistently seen that how we respond to ourselves in these moments can directly impact the picking, pulling, and biting. In this episode, I'll walk you through the exact process I use after a difficult session. You'll learn how to regulate your nervous system, validate what you're feeling without spiralling into shame, and take the next step forward with compassion instead of self-punishment. 🌱 Because healing isn't determined by whether you have another session. It's often determined by what you do in the minutes that follow. If you've ever found yourself stuck in the shame spiral after picking, pulling, or biting, this episode will give you a practical framework to help you break that cycle. 💌Share your story - Book your FREE BFPA* Support Call with me ✅VIP Access to BFPA Masterclasses + Workshops 🌟Download your FREE Guide to Stop Skin Picking Using Somatics 🎯Join the 7-Day Skin Picking Recovery Challenge 🤓Sign up - FREE BFPA Monthly Masterclass ✨Join - BEYOND Support Group on WhatsApp 🙋‍♀️Send me a message here My name is Raffaela Marie. I'm a holistic BFRB coach who has healed from 15 years of chronic skin picking myself and dedicated my life to helping driven women do the same. Through my podcast, free resources, and programs, I teach strategies to overcome urges, build emotional safety, and expand into authenticity. My approach goes beyond quick fixes, focusing on root causes and long-term recovery.
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#122
July 21 · 15 min
122: How to Know When You Need Help With Skin Picking, Hair Pulling, or Nail Biting
If, after a picking, pulling, or biting session, you feel: 💔Shame 💔Self-judgment 💔Embarrassment 💔Hopelessness 💔Lost 💔Stuck 💔Apathetic These are all big indications that you need and deserve support in healing. BUT... "... Is it really that bad?" "... I should be able to figure this out myself." If you've had these doubts, there are 2 cognitive defensive mechanisms that you might be unknowingly engaging that are greatly holding you back. If you're engaging in one or both of them, then it's a big sign you really do need help and should not keep waiting. Listen in to find out! 💌Share your story - Book your FREE BFPA* Support Call with me ✅VIP Access to BFPA Masterclasses + Workshops 🌟Download your FREE Guide to Stop Skin Picking Using Somatics 🎯Join the 7-Day Skin Picking Recovery Challenge 🤓Sign up - FREE BFPA Monthly Masterclass ✨Join - BEYOND Support Group on WhatsApp 🙋‍♀️Send me a message here My name is Raffaela Marie. I'm a holistic BFRB coach who has healed from 15 years of chronic skin picking myself and dedicated my life to helping driven women do the same. Through my podcast, free resources, and programs, I teach strategies to overcome urges, build emotional safety, and expand into authenticity. My approach goes beyond quick fixes, focusing on root causes and long-term recovery.
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#121
July 14 · 19 min
121: Why Can't I Stay Consistent? The Missing Piece to Lasting Change
You're not consistent, not because you lack willpower, but because you think you need to be fixed. When we look at the science of motivation and the incredible impact self-compassion has on our likelihood of moving toward our goals, the first sentence takes on a much more profound meaning. So let's unpack that together: 🌟Understand what's really driving your inconsistency and resistance. 🌟Learn how to make change feel easier by connecting to what truly matters to you 🌟Discover a simple framework to create lasting habits from self-care, not self-criticism. If you keep wondering, "Why can't I just stick with it?", I made this episode for you. 💛 --- Questions from this episode: (Listen to full episode for more context!) What might I gain when I do that thing? Why is that important to me? How might this positively impact those around me? --- Resources: The Neuroscience of Goals and Behavior Change - Elliot T Berkman Being Compassionate to Oneself Is Associated with Emotional Resilience and Psychological Well-Being - Rick Warren, Elke Smeets & Kristin Neff The Power of Self-Compassionate Motivation - Kristin Neff --- 💌Share your story - Book your FREE BFPA* Support Call with me ✅VIP Access to BFPA Masterclasses + Workshops 🌟Download your FREE Guide to Stop Skin Picking Using Somatics 🎯Join the 7-Day Skin Picking Recovery Challenge 🤓Sign up - FREE BFPA Monthly Masterclass ✨Join - BEYOND Support Group on WhatsApp 🙋‍♀️Send me a message here My name is Raffaela Marie. I'm a holistic BFRB coach who has healed from 15 years of chronic skin picking myself and dedicated my life to helping driven women do the same. Through my podcast, free resources, and programs, I teach strategies to overcome urges, build emotional safety, and expand into authenticity. My approach goes beyond quick fixes, focusing on root causes and long-term recovery.
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#120
July 7 · 25 min
120: A part of me really enjoys it! What do I do?
Satisfaction, rest, soothing - these are some of the most common things people report they enjoy about picking, pulling, and biting. The biggest reason why we enjoy it so much is that it gives us something we aren't getting enough of in life already - Read the first three words again... Despite how much you might enjoy it, when you begin to address the root cause, you start building a life that gives you more genuine reasons to feel satisfaction, rest, and soothing (and much more). When this happens, we stop needing picking, pulling, or biting so much. Sounds far-fetched? I've seen it happen for my clients, and I have a couple of their incredible stories to share with you in this episode, PLUS 5 relationship areas we can focus on that make all the difference. 💌Share your story - Book your FREE BFPA* Support Call with me ✅VIP Access to BFPA Masterclasses + Workshops 🌟Download your FREE Guide to Stop Skin Picking Using Somatics 🎯Join the 7-Day Skin Picking Recovery Challenge 🤓Sign up - FREE BFPA Monthly Masterclass ✨Join - BEYOND Support Group on WhatsApp 🙋‍♀️Send me a message here My name is Raffaela Marie. I'm a holistic BFRB coach who has healed from 15 years of chronic skin picking myself and dedicated my life to helping driven women do the same. Through my podcast, free resources, and programs, I teach strategies to overcome urges, build emotional safety, and expand into authenticity. My approach goes beyond quick fixes, focusing on root causes and long-term recovery.
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#119
June 30 · 20 min
119: How to deal with the scars & damage from picking, pulling & biting
Understandably, the scars that we create through chronic skin picking, hair pulling and nail biting are not something that we feel good about. The bald patches, thinning, hyperpigmentation, and dwindling nail beds can trigger feelings of shame, self-judgment, or even unlovability. The problem is, these are also the same emotions that fuel picking, pulling, and biting! It becomes a self-sustaining cycle. When we learn how to move through these emotions, we are actively helping ourselves reduce the need for them while unburdening ourselves of their emotional weight. But how do you navigate this in a way that allows you to move through and release rather than feel stuck? Is that even possible as long as the scars and damage remain? It is, and I'm going to share with you how. 🚩Fair warning, though, this episode contains no fluffy, toxic positivity. This is about embracing the truth and grounding yourself into reality. Which can sometimes, initially, be an unpleasant experience. 🙏It's an odd thing to say because it will probably drive some people away from listening to this episode. If that's the case, those people are most likely not ready to listen to what's inside. Rest assured, if you listen, I'll be with you every step of the way 💛. ---- Journaling Prompts: Make sure you listen to this episode before answering these Qs. 🌟What do you not want to accept? 🌟What do you feel the scars are costing you? 🌟What do you feel you can't have because of them? 🌟From what you've written, what do you suspect might not be the full truth? 🌟What might you be able to allow yourself to grieve that you haven't yet? If you need more support, reach out to your therapist, psychologist or coach. You can also reach out to me. I'm here for you! ---- 💌Share your story - Book your FREE BFPA* Support Call with me ✅VIP Access to BFPA Masterclasses + Workshops 🌟Download your FREE Guide to Stop Skin Picking Using Somatics 🎯Join the 7-Day Skin Picking Recovery Challenge 🤓Sign up - FREE BFPA Monthly Masterclass ✨Join - BEYOND Support Group on WhatsApp 🙋‍♀️Send me a message here My name is Raffaela Marie. I'm a holistic BFRB coach who has healed from 15 years of chronic skin picking myself and dedicated my life to helping driven women do the same. Through my podcast, free resources, and programs, I teach strategies to overcome urges, build emotional safety, and expand into authenticity. My approach goes beyond quick fixes, focusing on root causes and long-term recovery.
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#118
June 23 · 27 min
118: Who will I be without skin picking???
The version of you that is free from chronic skin picking, hair pulling, or nail biting is one that feels confident, creative, compassionate, and calm. These are not just pretty words; this is who you are at your core (as research has discovered)! Now the question is, how do we connect more to this part of ourselves? And how does picking, pulling, and biting both hold you back and help you get there? This is where we turn our greatest struggle into our greatest teacher, and we don't do it through guesswork but through using well-researched therapeutic models (that actually help). Listen in to learn: A powerful therapeutic model for chronic picking, pulling and biting that isn't CBT or HRT. How to turn picking/pulling/biting into a tool for healing Who you are at your core (as research has discovered) How to connect to these incredible core qualities in a tangible and practical way Resources: No Bad Parts by Richard Schwarz (book) Clarity: Focusing on the 8C's of Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapy IFS Website 💌Share your story - Book your FREE BFPA* Support Call with me ✅VIP Access to BFPA Masterclasses + Workshops 🌟Download your FREE Guide to Stop Skin Picking Using Somatics 🎯Join the 7-Day Skin Picking Recovery Challenge 🤓Sign up - FREE BFPA Monthly Masterclass ✨Join - BEYOND Support Group on WhatsApp 🙋‍♀️Send me a message here My name is Raffaela Marie. I'm a holistic BFRB coach who has healed from 15 years of chronic skin picking myself and dedicated my life to helping driven women do the same. Through my podcast, free resources, and programs, I teach strategies to overcome urges, build emotional safety, and expand into authenticity. My approach goes beyond quick fixes, focusing on root causes and long-term recovery.
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#117
June 16 · 26 min
117: Why You Can't "Just Stop" + A Science-Based Approach to What Works Instead
Did you know there is a specific brain function that is largely responsible for your chronic picking, pulling, and biting? That's right, you're not broken. You never were. It's your brain over-functioning. In fact, it's a really common struggle in this modern, overstimulated world. Look at all the people who are overworking, overeating, overgiving, overexercising, overthinking, overgrooming. We're all chronically overwhelmed and addicted to it. And it's because of something called intermittent reinforcement. In this episode, I share with you how this particular brain function is one of the key drivers behind your BFPA* + tangible steps to rewiring your brain. These steps don't require force, are backed by science, and will pull on your heartstrings. Not to mention, they will actually help you to move forward towards freedom. Journaling prompts from the episode "Needs" list. Which one calls to you? Relief Escape Comfort Stimulation Certainty Control Numbing Achievement Connection Whatever stood out to you in the list above, ask yourself these Qs: Why is that need so important to you right now? What would it give you to make the space to meet that need for yourself? How might this impact those around you? What will it cost you to not make the space to meet that need? What are 3 tangibles things you can do to meet that need in your life right now? References & Resources • Determinants of Addiction: Neurobiological, Behavioral, Cognitive, and Sociocultural Factors https://www.sciencedirect.com/book/monograph/9780323905787/determinants-of-addiction • Intermittent Reinforcement: Why Toxic Relationships Feel Addictive https://reachlink.com/advice/relations/intermittent-reinforcement/ • Engineered Highs: Reward Variability and Frequency as Potential Prerequisites of Behavioural Addiction https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0306460323000217 • Wired for Want: How Dopamine Drives the New Epidemic of Everyday Addictions https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Zoe-Wyatt/publication/391756047_Wired_for_Want_How_Dopamine_Drives_the_New_Epidemic_of_Everyday_Addictions • Stuck in a Toxic Cycle? This Psychological Pattern Might Be Why https://www.catharticspacecounseling.com/blog/stuck-in-a-toxic-cycle-this-psychological-pattern-might-be-why 💌Share your story - Book your FREE BFPA* Support Call with me ✅VIP Access to BFPA Masterclasses + Workshops 🌟Download your FREE Guide to Stop Skin Picking Using Somatics 🎯Join the 7-Day Skin Picking Recovery Challenge 🤓Sign up - FREE BFPA Monthly Masterclass ✨Join - BEYOND Support Group on WhatsApp 🙋‍♀️Send me a message here My name is Raffaela Marie. I'm a holistic BFRB coach who has healed from 15 years of chronic skin picking myself and dedicated my life to helping driven women do the same. Through my podcast, free resources, and programs, I teach strategies to overcome urges, build emotional safety, and expand into authenticity. My approach goes beyond quick fixes, focusing on root causes and long-term recovery.
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#116
June 9 · 24 min
116: How to Actually Regulate Your Emotions
After this, if you want a guided meditation on how to drop into your body, listen to episode 108: Why You Can't Slow Down + Somatic Practice to Show You How. To truly regulate your emotions, you need to get out of your head and into your body. The frustrating thing is that even if we understand this concept on a logical level, we can still be left feeling lost about how to implement it effectively and consistently. This is because emotional regulation is a felt experience, not a thought process. You've got to stop thinking about how to feel and instead allow yourself to experience it. Like jumping out of a plane and floating to the ground far below. You can't truly appreciate the full experience unless you do it. Anything else is just living in our imagination rather than reality. So let's take that leap together and learn: The brain system that keeps you trapped in your head How the purpose of this system can be rooted in trauma What your inner child has to do with it all The steps to getting out of your head and into your body 💌Share your story - Book your FREE BFPA* Support Call with me ✅VIP Access to BFPA Masterclasses + Workshops 🌟Download your FREE Guide to Stop Skin Picking Using Somatics 🎯Join the 7-Day Skin Picking Recovery Challenge 🤓Sign up - FREE BFPA Monthly Masterclass ✨Join - BEYOND Support Group on WhatsApp 🙋‍♀️Send me a message here My name is Raffaela Marie. I'm a holistic BFRB coach who has healed from 15 years of chronic skin picking myself and dedicated my life to helping driven women do the same. Through my podcast, free resources, and programs, I teach strategies to overcome urges, build emotional safety, and expand into authenticity. My approach goes beyond quick fixes, focusing on root causes and long-term recovery.
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#115
June 2 · 26 min
115: Chronic Skin Picking is an Addiction, Not OCD
This is why the typical treatments for OCD - CBT and habit reversal - just don't seem to work. You've been falling through the cracks of ill-fitted treatment and blaming yourself for being a hopelessly broken human being. It's not your fault. You've just been misinformed and going about healing the wrong way. If this resonates, then odds are you'll find hope and a path forward in this episode. You'll learn: 🌟How a behaviour can become an addiction 🌟Where addiction comes from 🌟How you can heal the root cause + the three core components that facilitate this Resources: Intermittent Reinforcement - article https://www.catharticspacecounseling.com/blog/stuck-in-a-toxic-cycle-this-psychological-pattern-might-be-why In the Realm of the Hungry Ghosts by Gabor Mate - book https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/617702.In_the_Realm_of_Hungry_Ghosts Behavioral Addictions: Signs, Symptoms, and Treatment Options - article https://americanaddictioncenters.org/behavioral-addictions Introduction to Behavioral Addictions - study https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3164585/ The Difference Between an Addiction and a Compulsion - article https://www.verywellmind.com/the-difference-between-an-addiction-and-a-compulsion-22240 💌Share your story - Book your FREE BFPA* Support Call with me ✅VIP Access to BFPA Masterclasses + Workshops 🌟Download your FREE Guide to Stop Skin Picking Using Somatics 🎯Join the 7-Day Skin Picking Recovery Challenge 🤓Sign up - FREE BFPA Monthly Masterclass ✨Join - BEYOND Support Group on WhatsApp 🙋‍♀️Send me a message here My name is Raffaela Marie. I'm a holistic BFRB coach who has healed from 15 years of chronic skin picking myself and dedicated my life to helping driven women do the same. Through my podcast, free resources, and programs, I teach strategies to overcome urges, build emotional safety, and expand into authenticity. My approach goes beyond quick fixes, focusing on root causes and long-term recovery.
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