ComedyStand-UpExplicit

Berner Phone

Hannah Berner and Des Bishop

The Berner Phone hotline is open! Comedian Des Bishop and special guests are listening to callers, dishing out their best advice, and being hilariously inspired by our dialer's contributions. Keep an eye out on Des's Instagram stories for prompts to leave a voice message and be featured on the pod. Whether it's pet peeves, secrets, life advice, dating dilemmas, or career questions Des and his comedian friends are dialed in.

Dial in to the Berner Phone Hotline
(917) 512-1758 or WhatsApp +1 (646) 423-7020 for the international dialers

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28 episodes
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Avg 1 hr 9 min
English

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#160
Yesterday · 1 hr 3 min
Religious Trauma
This week, Des reacts to your religious trauma and gives a history lesson on the Irish famine. NEXT WEEK'S PROMPT: WHAT/WHO IS BUGGING YOU AT WORK? Call (917) 512-1758 to leave us a voicemail! International Dialers can leave us a voice memo on WhatsApp: +1 (646) 423-7020 FOLLOW DES: Tickets: https://punchup.live/desbishop Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desbishop Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/desbishop X: https://x.com/desbishop YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Desbishopcomedy TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@desbishop5 FOLLOW NICOLE: https://www.instagram.com/nicoleclyons/ Produced by Nicole Lyons Productions Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nicolelyonsproductions/ Website: www.nicolelyonsproductions.com
#159
September 14 · 1 hr 16 min
Childhood Neglect
This week, Des decides whether or not the Dialers were neglected as children. NEXT WEEK'S PROMPT: RELIGIOUS TRAUMA / GOING TO YOUR RELIGIOUS FRIEND'S HOUSE Call (917) 512-1758 to leave us a voicemail! International Dialers can leave us a voice memo on WhatsApp: +1 (646) 423-7020 FOLLOW DES: Tickets: https://punchup.live/desbishop Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desbishop Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/desbishop X: https://x.com/desbishop YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Desbishopcomedy TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@desbishop5 FOLLOW NICOLE: https://www.instagram.com/nicoleclyons/ Produced by Nicole Lyons Productions Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nicolelyonsproductions/ Website: www.nicolelyonsproductions.com
#158
September 7 · 1 hr 14 min
Celebrity Rumors and High School Incidents
Des revisits some classic celebrity rumors and reacts to "the incidents" at your high schools. NEXT WEEK'S PROMPT: RELIGIOUS TRAUMA & MORE CELEB RUMORS! Call (917) 512-1758 to leave us a voicemail! International Dialers can leave us a voice memo on WhatsApp: +1 (646) 423-7020 FOLLOW DES: Tickets: https://punchup.live/desbishop Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desbishop Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/desbishop X: https://x.com/desbishop YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Desbishopcomedy TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@desbishop5 FOLLOW NICOLE: https://www.instagram.com/nicoleclyons/ Produced by Nicole Lyons Productions Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nicolelyonsproductions/ Website: www.nicolelyonsproductions.com
#157
August 31 · 1 hr 11 min
Wedding Traditions That Need to End (with Kelsey Cook)
Des is joined by guest and newlywed Kelsey Cook to discuss wedding traditions that need to end. Watch Kelsey's new special HAPPY HOUR on Netflix! FOLLOW KELSEY: Tickets: https://punchup.live/kelseycook/tour Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kelseycookcomedy/ Pretend Problems Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/pretend-problems/id1717496693 Call (917) 512-1758 to leave us a voicemail! International Dialers can leave us a voice memo on WhatsApp: +1 (646) 423-7020 FOLLOW DES: Tickets: https://punchup.live/desbishop Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desbishop Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/desbishop X: https://x.com/desbishop YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Desbishopcomedy TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@desbishop5 FOLLOW NICOLE: https://www.instagram.com/nicoleclyons/ Produced by Nicole Lyons Productions Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nicolelyonsproductions/ Website: www.nicolelyonsproductions.com
#156
August 24 · 1 hr 7 min
Ghost Stories
This week, Des the non-believer reacts to your ghost stories. Give us some prompt suggestions in the comments! Call (917) 512-1758 to leave us a voicemail! International Dialers can leave us a voice memo on WhatsApp: +1 (646) 423-7020 FOLLOW DES: Tickets: https://punchup.live/desbishop Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desbishop Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/desbishop X: https://x.com/desbishop YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Desbishopcomedy TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@desbishop5 FOLLOW NICOLE: https://www.instagram.com/nicoleclyons/ Produced by Nicole Lyons Productions Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nicolelyonsproductions/ Website: www.nicolelyonsproductions.com
August 21 · 1 hr 11 min
Book Club Bonus: Yesteryear by Caro Claire Burke
It's finally here - the Yesteryear episode. What book should we read next? Let us know in the comments! Call (917) 512-1758 to leave us a voicemail! International Dialers can leave us a voice memo on WhatsApp: +1 (646) 423-7020 FOLLOW DES: Tickets: https://punchup.live/desbishop Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desbishop Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/desbishop X: https://x.com/desbishop YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Desbishopcomedy TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@desbishop5 FOLLOW NICOLE: https://www.instagram.com/nicoleclyons/ Produced by Nicole Lyons Productions Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nicolelyonsproductions/ Website: www.nicolelyonsproductions.com
#155
August 17 · 1 hr 3 min
What's Bugging You?
Today, Des reacts to what's bugging the Dialers, plus some leftover call-ins from the past couple weeks. NEXT WEEK'S PROMPT: GHOST STORIES! Call (917) 512-1758 to leave us a voicemail! International Dialers can leave us a voice memo on WhatsApp: +1 (646) 423-7020 FOLLOW DES: Tickets: https://punchup.live/desbishop Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desbishop Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/desbishop X: https://x.com/desbishop YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Desbishopcomedy TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@desbishop5 FOLLOW NICOLE: https://www.instagram.com/nicoleclyons/ Produced by Nicole Lyons Productions Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nicolelyonsproductions/ Website: www.nicolelyonsproductions.com
#154
August 10 · 1 hr 10 min
Things You Thought Every Family Did
This week, Des reacts to the weird things your families did that you thought were completely normal until you found out not everyone's family did them. Call (917) 512-1758 to leave us a voicemail! International Dialers can leave us a voice memo on WhatsApp: +1 (646) 423-7020 FOLLOW DES: Tickets: https://punchup.live/desbishop Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desbishop Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/desbishop X: https://x.com/desbishop YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Desbishopcomedy TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@desbishop5 FOLLOW NICOLE: https://www.instagram.com/nicoleclyons/ Produced by Nicole Lyons Productions Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nicolelyonsproductions/ Website: www.nicolelyonsproductions.com
#153
August 3 · 1 hr 6 min
Things You Used To Judge People For
Today Des reacts to things you used to judge people for but don't anymore, like being a Karen, children crying in public, and counting a pregnancy in weeks. Call (917) 512-1758 to leave us a voicemail! International Dialers can leave us a voice memo on WhatsApp: +1 (646) 423-7020 FOLLOW DES: Tickets: https://punchup.live/desbishop Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desbishop Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/desbishop X: https://x.com/desbishop YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Desbishopcomedy TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@desbishop5 FOLLOW NICOLE: https://www.instagram.com/nicoleclyons/ Produced by Nicole Lyons Productions Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nicolelyonsproductions/ Website: www.nicolelyonsproductions.com
#152
July 27 · 1 hr 2 min
Mispronounced Words
This week, Des reacts to the Dialers' least favorite mispronounced words. We'll do another one of these episodes in the future - call in and comment below with more words! Call (917) 512-1758 to leave us a voicemail! International Dialers can leave us a voice memo on WhatsApp: +1 (646) 423-7020 FOLLOW DES: Tickets: https://punchup.live/desbishop Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desbishop Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/desbishop X: https://x.com/desbishop YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Desbishopcomedy TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@desbishop5 FOLLOW NICOLE: https://www.instagram.com/nicoleclyons/ Produced by Nicole Lyons Productions Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nicolelyonsproductions/ Website: www.nicolelyonsproductions.com
#151
July 20 · 45 min
Things Your Teenage Self Would Be Embarrassed By
What do you do today that you think your teenage self would be embarrassed by? A few Dialers offer birdwatching, wearing granny panties, and gardening. Let us know in the comments what your teenage self would be embarrassed by! Call (917) 512-1758 to leave us a voicemail! International Dialers can leave us a voice memo on WhatsApp: +1 (646) 423-7020 FOLLOW DES: Tickets: https://punchup.live/desbishop Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desbishop Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/desbishop X: https://x.com/desbishop YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Desbishopcomedy TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@desbishop5 FOLLOW NICOLE: https://www.instagram.com/nicoleclyons/ Produced by Nicole Lyons Productions Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nicolelyonsproductions/ Website: www.nicolelyonsproductions.com
#150
July 13 · 1 hr 10 min
Annoying Sounds
Today, Des reacts to all the sounds that annoy the Dialers, like garbage trucks, kids coughing, and ASMR. Call (917) 512-1758 to leave us a voicemail! International Dialers can leave us a voice memo on WhatsApp: +1 (646) 423-7020 FOLLOW DES: Tickets: https://punchup.live/desbishop Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desbishop Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/desbishop X: https://x.com/desbishop YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Desbishopcomedy TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@desbishop5 FOLLOW NICOLE: https://www.instagram.com/nicoleclyons/ Produced by Nicole Lyons Productions Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nicolelyonsproductions/ Website: www.nicolelyonsproductions.com
#149
July 6 · 1 hr 18 min
Creative Insults & More Things We Believed As Kids
Today Des listens to your creative insults and some more things you believed as kids. Call (917) 512-1758 to leave us a voicemail! International Dialers can leave us a voice memo on WhatsApp: +1 (646) 423-7020 FOLLOW DES: Tickets: https://punchup.live/desbishop Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desbishop Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/desbishop X: https://x.com/desbishop YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Desbishopcomedy TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@desbishop5 FOLLOW NICOLE: https://www.instagram.com/nicoleclyons/ Produced by Nicole Lyons Productions Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nicolelyonsproductions/ Website: www.nicolelyonsproductions.com
#148
June 29 · 1 hr 2 min
Silly Things We Believed as Kids
Des reacts to silly things the Dialers believed as kids, like getting arrested for turning on the lights in the car and watermelon seeds growing in your stomach. Call (917) 512-1758 to leave us a voicemail! International Dialers can leave us a voice memo on WhatsApp: +1 (646) 423-7020 FOLLOW DES: Tickets: https://punchup.live/desbishop Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desbishop Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/desbishop X: https://x.com/desbishop YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Desbishopcomedy TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@desbishop5 FOLLOW NICOLE: https://www.instagram.com/nicoleclyons/ Produced by Nicole Lyons Productions Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nicolelyonsproductions/ Website: www.nicolelyonsproductions.com
#147
June 22 · 1 hr 7 min
Biggest Gripes of 2026 (So Far)
This week, Des is solo and responding to the Dialers' biggest complaints about 2026 so far. Call (917) 512-1758 to leave us a voicemail! International Dialers can leave us a voice memo on WhatsApp: +1 (646) 423-7020 FOLLOW DES: Tickets: https://punchup.live/desbishop Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desbishop Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/desbishop X: https://x.com/desbishop YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Desbishopcomedy TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@desbishop5 FOLLOW NICOLE: https://www.instagram.com/nicoleclyons/ Produced by Nicole Lyons Productions Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nicolelyonsproductions/ Website: www.nicolelyonsproductions.com
#146
June 15 · 55 min
Funniest Things Said During Sex
This week, Des records solo from an undisclosed location and listens to voicemails about the funniest things people have said during sex. Call (917) 512-1758 to leave us a voicemail! International Dialers can leave us a voice memo on WhatsApp: +1 (646) 423-7020 FOLLOW DES: Tickets: https://punchup.live/desbishop Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desbishop Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/desbishop X: https://x.com/desbishop YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Desbishopcomedy TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@desbishop5 FOLLOW NICOLE: https://www.instagram.com/nicoleclyons/ Produced by Nicole Lyons Productions Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nicolelyonsproductions/ Website: www.nicolelyonsproductions.com
#145
June 8 · 1 hr 16 min
What Generation Do You Wish You Grew Up In?
This week, Des listens to voicemails from Dialers who wish they grew up in a different generation. From club culture and technology to roller skating and funeral etiquette, Des explores what makes people long for another era. Call (917) 512-1758 to leave us a voicemail! International Dialers can leave us a voice memo on WhatsApp: +1 (646) 423-7020 FOLLOW DES: Tickets: https://punchup.live/desbishop Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desbishop Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/desbishop X: https://x.com/desbishop YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Desbishopcomedy TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@desbishop5 FOLLOW NICOLE: https://www.instagram.com/nicoleclyons/ Produced by Nicole Lyons Productions Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nicolelyonsproductions/ Website: www.nicolelyonsproductions.com
#144
June 1 · 1 hr 8 min
Niche Collections
This week, Des listens to voicemails about the strangest things people collect. From animal bones and troll dolls to rosary beads and matchboxes, the Dialers call in to share the unique collections they've built over the years. Call (917) 512-1758 to leave us a voicemail! International Dialers can leave us a voice memo on WhatsApp: +1 (646) 423-7020 FOLLOW DES: Tickets: https://punchup.live/desbishop Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desbishop Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/desbishop X: https://x.com/desbishop YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Desbishopcomedy TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@desbishop5 FOLLOW NICOLE: https://www.instagram.com/nicoleclyons/ Produced by Nicole Lyons Productions Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nicolelyonsproductions/ Website: www.nicolelyonsproductions.com
May 28 · 57 min
The Truth About GLP-1s, Peptides, and Fibermaxxing (Bonus Episode)
Surprise! It's a bonus episode! Dr. Elizabeth Kazarian joins Des to discuss GLP-1s, medical misinformation, and the overlap between politics and alternative health. Dr. Kazarian also shares insights on menopause and testosterone therapy, concerns about the peptide craze, and her hopes for expanded stem cell research. FOLLOW DR. K: https://www.instagram.com/drkazarian/ Call (917) 512-1758 to leave us a voicemail! International Dialers can leave us a voice memo on WhatsApp: +1 (646) 423-7020 FOLLOW DES: Tickets: https://punchup.live/desbishop Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desbishop Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/desbishop X: https://x.com/desbishop YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Desbishopcomedy TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@desbishop5 FOLLOW NICOLE: https://www.instagram.com/nicoleclyons/ Produced by Nicole Lyons Productions Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nicolelyonsproductions/ Website: www.nicolelyonsproductions.com
#143
May 25 · 1 hr 11 min
This Should Be Illegal
Des is solo this week, listening to voicemails answering the question: "What was normal in your childhood that's illegal today?" From leaving kids in the car and bringing them into bars to getting a bar of soap in your mouth for cursing, Des reacts to the Dialers' nostalgic stories from a very different time. Call (917) 512-1758 to leave us a voicemail! FOLLOW DES: Tickets: https://punchup.live/desbishop Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/desbishop Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/desbishop X: https://x.com/desbishop YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Desbishopcomedy TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@desbishop5 FOLLOW NICOLE: https://www.instagram.com/nicoleclyons/ Produced by Nicole Lyons Productions Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nicolelyonsproductions/ Website: www.nicolelyonsproductions.com

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