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Kids & Family

Ask The Nincompoops

Andy Stanton & Carrie Quinlan

A riotously funny all-ages podcast where Andy Stanton (author of the Mr Gum books, extremely bright) and Carrie Quinlan (of Radio 4, also extremely bright) allow children (not bright) to ask any questions that they want the answers to. Who invented cheese? What are trees for and why are they everywhere? What’s the opposite of a kettle?


Using their immense brains, Andy and Carrie will answer the questions your children ask. The only catch? They’ll do it very, very badly.


If you have a question you want these two geniuses to ask, just send it, with your name and age, to askthenincompoops@gmail.com - and we'll try to answer them in an upcoming episode!


Reviewers call the show ‘amazing,” ‘so good”, and “the best podcast on Planet Earth.” Even the ACTUAL REAL newspaper FOR CLEVER ADULTS, The Guardian, said it's "hilariously surreal...a child-friendly twist on Vic-and-Bob."


Picked as one of the BEST PODCASTS FOR CHILDREN by The Huffington Post, The Guardian's BEST PODCASTS FOR KIDS, and a British Podcast Award nominee for BEST FAMILY PODCAST.


Love from

Carrie and Andy

(aka the Nincompoops)

xx

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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  • 24 episodes
  • weekly
  • Avg 14 min
  • English

Episodes 24

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  • S4 · E3
    Yesterday · 11 min

    Term 4 Lesson 3: Why and How Do We Exist?

    Are you a very unintelligent child? Of COURSE you are. It's well known by clever adults that you kids know NOTHING. But don't cry because you won't be unedumacated for much longer. Carrie Quinlan (a VERY clever grown-up) and Andy Stanton (who is also a VERY clever grown-up, thank you, actually) are here to educate the world's children and answer their soft, squashy brain questions using GROWN-UP KNOWLEDGE. This episode's questions are... WHY AND HOW DO WE EXIST? (Elizabeth, age 9) HOW DO KETTLES WORK? (Charlie, age 7) WHEN DO CHILDREN BECOME CLEVER GROWN-UPS? (Hattie, age 11) It's time to....ASK THE NINCOMPOOPS! This podcast is suitable for all the family. If you have a question you want these two geniuses to ask, just send it, with your name and age, to askthenincompoops@gmail.com - and we'll try to answer them in an upcoming episode! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  • S4 · E2
    September 12 · 15 min

    Term 4 Lesson 2: Who Invented Love?

    Are you a very unintelligent child? Of COURSE you are. It's well known by clever adults that you kids know NOTHING. But don't cry because you won't be unedumacated for much longer. Carrie Quinlan (a VERY clever grown-up) and Andy Stanton (who is also a VERY clever grown-up, thank you, actually) are here to educate the world's children and answer their soft, squashy brain questions using GROWN-UP KNOWLEDGE. This episode's questions are... WHO INVENTED LOVE? (William, 13) WHY DO WE BRUSH OUR TEETH? (Jayden, 11) CAN CARROTS GROW ON THE MOON? (Wolfie, 12) It's time to....ASK THE NINCOMPOOPS! This podcast is suitable for all the family. If you have a question you want these two geniuses to ask, just send it, with your name and age, to askthenincompoops@gmail.com - and we'll try to answer them in an upcoming episode! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  • S4 · E1
    September 5 · 10 min

    Term 4 Lesson 1: Why Don't Trees Grow On Trees?

    Are you a very unintelligent child? Of COURSE you are. It's well known by clever adults that you kids know NOTHING. But don't cry because you won't be unedumacated for much longer. Carrie Quinlan (a VERY clever grown-up) and Andy Stanton (who is also a VERY clever grown-up, thank you, actually) are here to educate the world's children and answer their soft, squashy brain questions using GROWN-UP KNOWLEDGE. This episode's questions are... WHY DON'T TREES GROW ON TREES? (Jack, 9) WHEN WAS THE TENT INVENTED? (Etienne, 8) WHY DO THINGS HAVE NAMES? (Charlie, 7) CAN ANTS JUMP? (Will, 13) It's time to....ASK THE NINCOMPOOPS! This podcast is suitable for all the family. If you have a question you want these two geniuses to ask, just send it, with your name and age, to askthenincompoops@gmail.com - and we'll try to answer them in an upcoming episode! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  • S3 · E15
    Dec 9, 2023 · 19 min

    Term 3 Lesson 15: Do Rocks and Pebbles Taste Nice?

    Are you a very unintelligent child? Of COURSE you are. It's well known by clever adults that you kids know NOTHING. But don't cry because you won't be unedumacated for much longer. Carrie Quinlan (a VERY clever grown-up) and Andy Stanton (who is also a VERY clever grown-up, thank you, actually) are here to educate the world's children and answer their soft, squashy brain questions using GROWN-UP KNOWLEDGE. It's time to....Ask The Nincompoops! This podcast is suitable for all the family! If you have a question you want these two geniuses to ask, just send it, with your name and age, to askthenincompoops@gmail.com - and we'll try to answer them in an upcoming episode! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  • S3 · E14
    Dec 2, 2023 · 22 min

    Term 3 Lesson 14: Why Do Flamingos Stand On One Leg?

    Are you a very unintelligent child? Of COURSE you are. It's well known by clever adults that you kids know NOTHING. But don't cry because you won't be unedumacated for much longer. Carrie Quinlan (a VERY clever grown-up) and Andy Stanton (who is also a VERY clever grown-up, thank you, actually) are here to educate the world's children and answer their soft, squashy brain questions using GROWN-UP KNOWLEDGE. It's time to....Ask The Nincompoops! Why do ladybirds have six legs? How does hair grow? How did nothing start? And why are nuts healthy? This podcast is suitable for all the family! If you have a question you want these two geniuses to ask, just send it, with your name and age, to askthenincompoops@gmail.com - and we'll try to answer them in an upcoming episode! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  • S3 · E13
    Nov 25, 2023 · 20 min

    Term 3, Lesson 13: Why Are Sprouts Disgusting?

    Are you a very unintelligent child? Of COURSE you are. It's well known by clever adults that you kids know NOTHING. But don't cry because you won't be unedumacated for much longer. Carrie Quinlan (a VERY clever grown-up) and Andy Stanton (who is also a VERY clever grown-up, thank you, actually) are here to educate the world's children and answer their soft, squashy brain questions using GROWN-UP KNOWLEDGE. It's time to....Ask The Nincompoops! This podcast is suitable for all the family! If you have a question you want these two geniuses to ask, just send it, with your name and age, to askthenincompoops@gmail.com - and we'll try to answer them in an upcoming episode! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  • S3 · E12
    Nov 18, 2023 · 21 min

    Term 3 Lesson 12: What Is The World Made Of?

    Are you a very unintelligent child? Of COURSE you are. It's well known by clever adults that you kids know NOTHING. But don't cry because you won't be unedumacated for much longer. Carrie Quinlan (a VERY clever grown-up) and Andy Stanton (who is also a VERY clever grown-up, thank you, actually) are here to educate the world's children and answer their soft, squashy brain questions using GROWN-UP KNOWLEDGE. It's time to....Ask The Nincompoops! This podcast is suitable for all the family! If you have a question you want these two geniuses to ask, just send it, with your name and age, to askthenincompoops@gmail.com - and we'll try to answer them in an upcoming episode! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  • S3 · E11
    Nov 11, 2023 · 23 min

    Term 3, Lesson 11: Where Does All The Poo In The World End Up?

    Are you a very unintelligent child? Of COURSE you are. It's well known by clever adults that you kids know NOTHING. But don't cry because you won't be unedumacated for much longer. Carrie Quinlan (a VERY clever grown-up) and Andy Stanton (who is also a VERY clever grown-up, thank you, actually) are here to educate the world's children and answer their soft, squashy brain questions using GROWN-UP KNOWLEDGE. It's time to....Ask The Nincompoops! This podcast is suitable for all the family! If you have a question you want these two geniuses to ask, just send it, with your name and age, to askthenincompoops@gmail.com - and we'll try to answer them in an upcoming episode! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  • S3 · E10
    Nov 3, 2023 · 21 min

    Term 3, Lesson 10: Who Invented The Door?

    Are you a very unintelligent child? Of COURSE you are. It's well known by clever adults that you kids know NOTHING. But don't cry because you won't be unedumacated for much longer. Carrie Quinlan (a VERY clever grown-up) and Andy Stanton (who is also a VERY clever grown-up, thank you, actually) are here to educate the world's children and answer their soft, squashy brain questions using GROWN-UP KNOWLEDGE. It's time to....Ask The Nincompoops! This podcast is suitable for all the family! If you have a question you want these two geniuses to ask, just send it, with your name and age, to askthenincompoops@gmail.com - and we'll try to answer them in an upcoming episode! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  • S3 · E9
    Oct 28, 2023 · 21 min

    Term 3, Lesson 9 : Why Do Horsemen Have Babies?

    Are you a very unintelligent child? Of COURSE you are. It's well known by clever adults that you kids know NOTHING. But don't cry because you won't be unedumacated for much longer. Carrie Quinlan (a VERY clever grown-up) and Andy Stanton (who is also a VERY clever grown-up, thank you, actually) are here to educate the world's children and answer their soft, squashy brain questions using GROWN-UP KNOWLEDGE. It's time to....Ask The Nincompoops! This podcast is suitable for all the family! If you have a question you want these two geniuses to ask, just send it, with your name and age, to askthenincompoops@gmail.com - and we'll try to answer them in an upcoming episode! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  • S3 · E8
    Oct 21, 2023 · 20 min

    Term 3, Lesson 8: How Do You Make Scrambled Eggs?

    Are you a very unintelligent child? Of COURSE you are. It's well known by clever adults that you kids know NOTHING. But don't cry because you won't be unedumacated for much longer. Carrie Quinlan (a VERY clever grown-up) and Andy Stanton (who is also a VERY clever grown-up, thank you, actually) are here to educate the world's children and answer their soft, squashy brain questions using GROWN-UP KNOWLEDGE. It's time to....Ask The Nincompoops! This podcast is suitable for all the family! If you have a question you want these two geniuses to ask, just send it, with your name and age, to askthenincompoops@gmail.com - and we'll try to answer them in an upcoming episode! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  • S3 · E7
    Oct 14, 2023 · 20 min

    Term 3, Lesson 7: Who Invented Ketchup?

    Are you a very unintelligent child? Of COURSE you are. It's well known by clever adults that you kids know NOTHING. But don't cry because you won't be unedumacated for much longer. Carrie Quinlan (a VERY clever grown-up) and Andy Stanton (who is also a VERY clever grown-up, thank you, actually) are here to educate the world's children and answer their soft, squashy brain questions using GROWN-UP KNOWLEDGE. It's time to....Ask The Nincompoops! This podcast is suitable for all the family! If you have a question you want these two geniuses to ask, just send it, with your name and age, to askthenincompoops@gmail.com - and we'll try to answer them in an upcoming episode! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  • S3 · E6
    Oct 7, 2023 · 20 min

    Term 3, Lesson 6: How Long Have You Been Doing This?

    Are you a very unintelligent child? Of COURSE you are. It's well known by clever adults that you kids know NOTHING. But don't cry because you won't be unedumacated for much longer. Carrie Quinlan (a VERY clever grown-up) and Andy Stanton (who is also a VERY clever grown-up, thank you, actually) are here to educate the world's children and answer their soft, squashy brain questions using GROWN-UP KNOWLEDGE. It's time to....Ask The Nincompoops! This podcast is suitable for all the family! If you have a question you want these two geniuses to ask, just send it, with your name and age, to askthenincompoops@gmail.com - and we'll try to answer them in an upcoming episode! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  • S3 · E5
    Sep 30, 2023 · 19 min

    Term 3, Lesson 5: How Big Was The World’s Biggest Crisp Ever?

    Are you a very unintelligent child? Of COURSE you are. It's well known by clever adults that you kids know NOTHING. But don't cry because you won't be unedumacated for much longer. Carrie Quinlan (a VERY clever grown-up) and Andy Stanton (who is also a VERY clever grown-up, thank you, actually) are here to educate the world's children and answer their soft, squashy brain questions using GROWN-UP KNOWLEDGE. It's time to....Ask The Nincompoops! This podcast is suitable for all the family! If you have a question you want these two geniuses to ask, just send it, with your name and age, to askthenincompoops@gmail.com - and we'll try to answer them in an upcoming episode! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  • S3 · E4
    Sep 23, 2023 · 20 min

    Term 3, Lesson 4: Why Do Speakers Make Music Loud?

    Are you a very unintelligent child? Of COURSE you are. It's well known by clever adults that you kids know NOTHING. But don't cry because you won't be unedumacated for much longer. Carrie Quinlan (a VERY clever grown-up) and Andy Stanton (who is also a VERY clever grown-up, thank you, actually) are here to educate the world's children and answer their soft, squashy brain questions using GROWN-UP KNOWLEDGE. It's time to....Ask The Nincompoops! This podcast is suitable for all the family! If you have a question you want these two geniuses to ask, just send it, with your name and age, to askthenincompoops@gmail.com - and we'll try to answer them in an upcoming episode! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  • S3 · E3
    Sep 16, 2023 · 23 min

    Term 3, Lesson 3: Who Invented Cricket?

    Are you a very unintelligent child? Of COURSE you are. It's well known by clever adults that you kids know NOTHING. But don't cry because you won't be unedumacated for much longer. Carrie Quinlan (a VERY clever grown-up) and Andy Stanton (who is also a VERY clever grown-up, thank you, actually) are here to educate the world's children and answer their soft, squashy brain questions using GROWN-UP KNOWLEDGE. It's time to....Ask The Nincompoops! This podcast is suitable for all the family! And if you would like to be taught LIVE and IN PERSON, then book a ticket for our all-ages family show at the London Podcast Festival on Saturday, 16th September 2023 (which is LITERALLY TODAY if you're reading this on the day it came out). Tickets here! If you have a question you want these two geniuses to ask, just send it, with your name and age, to askthenincompoops@gmail.com - and we'll try to answer them in an upcoming episode! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  • S3 · E2
    Sep 9, 2023 · 20 min

    Term 3, Lesson 2: Why Do Adults Drink Horrible Things Like Coffee?

    Are you a very unintelligent child? Of COURSE you are. It's well known by clever adults that you kids know NOTHING. But don't cry because you won't be unedumacated for much longer. Carrie Quinlan (a VERY clever grown-up) and Andy Stanton (who is also a VERY clever grown-up, thank you, actually) are here to educate the world's children and answer their soft, squashy brain questions using GROWN-UP KNOWLEDGE. It's time to....Ask The Nincompoops! This podcast is suitable for all the family! If you have a question you want these two geniuses to ask, just send it, with your name and age, to askthenincompoops@gmail.com - and we'll try to answer them in an upcoming episode! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  • S3 · E1
    Sep 2, 2023 · 21 min

    Term 3, Lesson 1: Why Is Water See-Through?

    Are you a very unintelligent child? Of COURSE you are. It's well known by clever adults that you kids know NOTHING. But don't cry because you won't be unedumacated for much longer. Carrie Quinlan (a VERY clever grown-up) and Andy Stanton (who is also a VERY clever grown-up, thank you, actually) are here to educate the world's children and answer their soft, squashy brain questions using GROWN-UP KNOWLEDGE. It's time to....Ask The Nincompoops! This podcast is suitable for all the family! And if you would like to be taught LIVE and IN PERSON, then book a ticket for our all-ages family show at the London Podcast Festival on the 16th September 2023! Tickets here! If you have a question you want these two geniuses to ask, just send it, with your name and age, to askthenincompoops@gmail.com - and we'll try to answer them in an upcoming episode! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Showing 1–20 of 24 episodes