Anxiety Matters

When the News Becomes Your Fear: Why Anxiety Makes Rare Events Feel Personal

The Bonnies talk about how rare and frightening news stories can trigger anxiety and OCD, especially around postpartum mental health. They discuss postpartum psychosis, intrusive thoughts, and how anxiety can make people misread normal thoughts or fears as signs of danger. They also look at similar patterns with topics like suicide or serious illness, and how repeated news and social media exposure can make rare events feel more likely. They close by stressing the value of psycho-education and realistic probabilities, especially for pregnant and postpartum people. HIGHLIGHTS: 0:49 Postpartum Intrusive Thoughts 4:45 OCD and Suicide Fears 8:04 Threat Bias in Anxiety 10:48 Teaching Realistic Probabilities 14:48 COVID and Catastrophic Thinking 16:23 Managing Uncertainty CONNECT WITH THE BONNIE ZUCKERS: Bonnie Zucker Ph.D.(west) website: https://www.bonniezuckerphd.com Newsletter sign-up: https://bonnie-zucker-ph-d.kit.com/d44b57fcdf Books by Bonnie West: https://a.co/d/04aNJFDZ Bonnie Zucker Psy.D. (east) website: https://www.bonniezuckerandassociates.com Books by Bonnie East: https://shorturl.at/MxvRZ The content of Anxiety Matters Podcast is for informational purposes only and does not constitute mental health or medical advice, nor is it a substitute for professional mental health or medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you are experiencing a mental health crisis, call emergency services or a local crisis line.

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More Than Clutter: Understanding & Treating Hoarding Disorder with Guest Dr. David Tolin

The Bonnies talk about hoarding with Dr. David Tolin, a clinician and researcher who has worked extensively in this area. They begin by distinguishing hoarding disorder from ordinary messiness or collecting, and note that hoarding is characterized by difficulty discarding items, strong attachment to possessions, and often excessive acquisition. They talk about how hoarding develops over time, including early onset in childhood or adolescence, and how stress or major life changes can make symptoms worse. Also, genetic factors and the idea that hoarding can run in families, while still requiring attention to behavior and environment. They then focus on treatment. Dr. Tolin explains that hoarding is not the same as OCD, even though it has often been grouped with obsessive compulsive disorders. He describes current treatment approaches that emphasize decision-making training, problem-solving, distress tolerance, cognitive questioning, and motivational interviewing rather than simply forcing the person to throw things away. They also discuss the importance of insight and motivation, since many people with hoarding disorder do not initially see themselves as having a problem and how clinicians can use Socratic questions to help people examine what their possessions mean to them and whether keeping them fits their values. Finally, they address family concerns, childhood hoarding behaviors, and the limits of medication research noting that there are no randomized controlled trials of medication for hoarding disorder, though some open trials have suggested possible benefit from certain medications. HIGHLIGHTS: 1:05 Clutter Versus Hoarding 4:21 The Fire Changed Everything 7:44 Meet Dr. David Tolin 8:38 Hoarding Is Not OCD 11:24 Defining Hoarding Disorder 15:32 Trauma, Stress, and Risk 18:56 Rethinking Treatment Goals 21:26 Therapy for Hoarding 27:47 Time, Values, and Insight 35:06 Health Hazards and Questions 36:21 A Severe Hoarding Case 39:26 Medication Evidence 41:38 Pediatric Hoarding Concerns 45:23 Insight and Self-Referral connect with Dr. David Tolin website: https://drtolin.com CONNECT WITH THE BONNIE ZUCKERS: Bonnie Zucker Ph.D.(west) website: https://www.bonniezuckerphd.com Newsletter sign-up: https://bonnie-zucker-ph-d.kit.com/d44b57fcdf Books by Bonnie West: https://a.co/d/04aNJFDZ Bonnie Zucker Psy.D. (east) website: https://www.bonniezuckerandassociates.com Books by Bonnie East: https://shorturl.at/MxvRZ The content of Anxiety Matters Podcast is for informational purposes only and does not constitute mental health or medical advice, nor is it a substitute for professional mental health or medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you are experiencing a mental health crisis, call emergency services or a local crisis line.

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Feeling Understood: The Key to Lowering Stress & Improving Relationships

In this episode, the BZW and BZE talk about how feeling understood in relationships can affect stress, well-being, and even physical symptoms. They discuss how anxiety is often misunderstood by partners and family members, and how advice or pressure can sometimes leave people feeling invalidated. They also focus on validation as a practical response, including finding the kernel of truth in what someone is feeling and saying things like “that makes sense” or “I can see this is hard for you.” They explain the difference between offering solutions and offering support, and suggest asking whether someone wants advice, validation, or something else. HIGHLIGHTS: 1:36 Feeling Seen, Feeling Stressed 3:54 When Loved Ones Miss It 5:45 Fixing Versus Validating 8:44 Why Validation Works 12:13 Find the Kernel of Truth 14:22 The Need to Feel Known 16:30 Practical Takeaways for Partners mentioned in episode How to Know a Person (book): https://a.co/d/04qD6vzj CONNECT WITH THE BONNIE ZUCKERS: Bonnie Zucker Ph.D.(west) website: https://www.bonniezuckerphd.com Newsletter sign-up: https://bonnie-zucker-ph-d.kit.com/d44b57fcdf Books by Bonnie West: https://a.co/d/04aNJFDZ Bonnie Zucker Psy.D. (east) website: https://www.bonniezuckerandassociates.com Books by Bonnie East: https://shorturl.at/MxvRZ The content of Anxiety Matters Podcast is for informational purposes only and does not constitute mental health or medical advice, nor is it a substitute for professional mental health or medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you are experiencing a mental health crisis, call emergency services or a local crisis line.

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Avoiding the Doctor or Going Too Much: How to Manage Health Anxiety

In this episode, the Bonnies talk about doctor anxiety and how it can lead people to avoid appointments or feel intense worry before routine tests and screenings. They discuss the value of recommended preventive care, the importance of trusting relationships with doctors, and the role of therapy when health fears become difficult to manage. They also look at the balance between appropriate screening and excessive testing, including how more scans or wearable devices can sometimes increase stress. HIGHLIGHTS: 1:33 Vet Fears, Doctor Fears 2:40 Screening Protects Health 5:45 Facing Mammogram Anxiety 7:12 Trusting Doctors, Timing Tests 10:22 Full-Body Scan Dilemma 14:12 Too Many Tests 14:57 Wearables and Anxiety mentioned in episode Less Medicine More Health by Dr. H. Gilbert Welch: https://a.co/d/01SYYhru CONNECT WITH THE BONNIE ZUCKERS: Bonnie Zucker Ph.D.(west) website: https://www.bonniezuckerphd.com Newsletter sign-up: https://bonnie-zucker-ph-d.kit.com/d44b57fcdf Books by Bonnie West: https://a.co/d/04aNJFDZ Bonnie Zucker Psy.D. (east) website: https://www.bonniezuckerandassociates.com Books by Bonnie East: https://shorturl.at/MxvRZ The content of Anxiety Matters Podcast is for informational purposes only and does not constitute mental health or medical advice, nor is it a substitute for professional mental health or medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you are experiencing a mental health crisis, call emergency services or a local crisis line.

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Medication Matters: What Every Parent Should Know About Psychiatric Medication for Kids & Teens with Guest Dr. Ethan Hockheiser

The Bonnies talk with Dr. Ethan Hochheiser, a board-certified psychiatrist in general and child & adolescent psychiatry, about when medication may be appropriate for children and teens with anxiety, ADHD, OCD, depression, and related concerns. They discuss how therapy is often tried first, but medication may be considered sooner when symptoms are severe, functioning is impaired, or treatment is not helping enough. They review common SSRI side effects in children, including nausea, diarrhea, headaches, temporary activation, and possible weight gain, as well as less common risks such as suicidal thoughts and mania in those with a predisposition. They also discuss how SSRIs may work, the role of monitoring and family history, and the goal of improving symptoms and tapering medication after sustained remission. The episode closes with discussion of OCD, premenstrual dysphoric symptoms, and ADHD, including how SSRIs can help OCD and PMDD and how ADHD often responds well to medication. HIGHLIGHTS: 4:17 Meet Dr. Ethan Hochheiser 9:04 When Medication Makes Sense 15:12 SSRI Risks and Side Effects 19:48 What Medications Mean for the Brain 23:17 OCD, Exposure, and SSRIs 27:06 Treating Premenstrual Symptoms 28:14 How SSRIs Work 31:12 Stopping Medication Safely 32:43 Are We Over-diagnosing ADHD? 36:48 ADHD Treatment Advantages connect with Dr. Hochheiser website: https://www.ethanhochheisermd.com CONNECT WITH THE BONNIE ZUCKERS: Bonnie Zucker Ph.D.(west) website: https://www.bonniezuckerphd.com Newsletter sign-up: https://bonnie-zucker-ph-d.kit.com/d44b57fcdf Books by Bonnie West: https://a.co/d/04aNJFDZ Bonnie Zucker Psy.D. (east) website: https://www.bonniezuckerandassociates.com Books by Bonnie East: https://shorturl.at/MxvRZ The content of Anxiety Matters Podcast is for informational purposes only and does not constitute mental health or medical advice, nor is it a substitute for professional mental health or medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you are experiencing a mental health crisis, call emergency services or a local crisis line.

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Why Is Asking For Help So Hard? Tips on Managing All Shades of Social Anxiety

This episode focuses on social anxiety in everyday life, including difficulty asking for help, making small requests, and fearing judgment or inconvenience. The Bonnies talk about exposure exercises for facing these situations, such as asking for samples or interrupting someone to make a request, and explain how these exercises can show that the feared reaction often does not happen. They also discuss planning for harder outcomes, common forms of avoidance like delaying calls or texts, and encouraging small behavior changes such as saying no, asking for help, and starting difficult tasks sooner. HIGHLIGHTS: 1:49 Whole Foods Exposure Practice 7:36 Handling Rude Reactions 11:46 Asking for Testimonials 15:48 Everyday Social Anxiety Triggers CONNECT WITH THE BONNIE ZUCKERS: Bonnie Zucker Ph.D.(west) website: https://www.bonniezuckerphd.com Newsletter sign-up: https://bonnie-zucker-ph-d.kit.com/d44b57fcdf Books by Bonnie West: https://a.co/d/04aNJFDZ Bonnie Zucker Psy.D. (east) website: https://www.bonniezuckerandassociates.com Books by Bonnie East: https://shorturl.at/MxvRZ The content of Anxiety Matters Podcast is for informational purposes only and does not constitute mental health or medical advice, nor is it a substitute for professional mental health or medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you are experiencing a mental health crisis, call emergency services or a local crisis line.

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ERP for OCD: Are Extreme Exposures Necessary?

The Bonnies episode on May 28 when BZW visited BZE in Maryland, where they recorded OCD exposure exercises at Whole Foods, was posted on their social media where they received many comments. This episode covers some of the reactions to those exposures, including concerns about ethics and health risks. In response, the Bonnies explain that exposure and response prevention involves facing ordinary contamination fears and that the goal is not to cause illness but to help people tolerate uncertainty and reduce avoidance. This episode starts with a hilarious meeting they had recently with their accountant so don't skip ahead! HIGHLIGHTS: 1:01 The Accountant 'Disaster' 7:15 Eye Exam & Meeting All in One 9:23 Whole Foods Exposures 11:33 Addressing the Ethics 18:05 Expired Food Exposure 19:46 Listener Reactions and Wrap-Up CONNECT WITH THE BONNIE ZUCKERS: Bonnie Zucker Ph.D.(west) website: https://www.bonniezuckerphd.com Newsletter sign-up: https://bonnie-zucker-ph-d.kit.com/d44b57fcdf Books by Bonnie West: https://a.co/d/04aNJFDZ Bonnie Zucker Psy.D. (east) website: https://www.bonniezuckerandassociates.com Books by Bonnie East: https://shorturl.at/MxvRZ The content of Anxiety Matters Podcast is for informational purposes only and does not constitute mental health or medical advice, nor is it a substitute for professional mental health or medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you are experiencing a mental health crisis, call emergency services or a local crisis line.

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Making Peace with ADHD: Hollywood Writer Jordan Roberts Shares About Self-Acceptance

The Bonnies welcome Jordan Roberts, a writer and director with a long career in television and film, who has also built a coaching practice focused on creative blocks, addiction, ADHD, and shadow work. Jordan describes his background in a show-business family, his struggles as a young person with drugs, alcohol, anxiety, and not feeling good enough, and how early therapy opened a different way of thinking. He talks about pursuing validation through creative work, even after major professional success, and how that left the deeper issue of self-worth unresolved. They discuss the shift that came for Jordan from shadow work and from recognizing inner parts that had been hidden or rejected. Jordan explains how he began to allow rather than judge vulnerable, ashamed, or fearful parts of himself, including a late diagnosis of ADHD, and how medication and practical tools now support him. They also talk about anxiety, shame, and the “second arrow” of self-criticism. Jordan describes how meeting his own parts with attention rather than fixing them changed his experience, how this affects his writing now, and how he sees creativity, risk-taking, and emotional honesty as connected to this ongoing work. HIGHLIGHTS: 4:01 Jordan’s Background 6:45 A Powerful Commencement Speech 7:55 Showbiz and Self-Doubt 13:52 Validation Never Filled It 17:03 Meeting the Shadow 20:35 Parts Work and Anxiety 23:18 Allowing the Feeling 25:44 Late ADHD Diagnosis 33:08 The Anxiety Gap 35:50 Feelings Are Not Bad 37:25 Reparenting Through Shadow Work 39:21 Men and Emotional Shame 42:17 Shadow Work Fuels Creativity 44:11 It’s Never Too Late mentioned in episode Jordan's Commencement Speech: https://www.youtube.com/live/sxC8gYAOKe4?si=142nL-SPqAvoGTGh&t=1913 Permission to Feel: https://a.co/d/0hksoWy5 Stick Up For Yourself: https://a.co/d/0j2lScIn The Artist's Way: https://a.co/d/07ZzanXe Driven to Distraction: https://a.co/d/08odLBuE CONNECT WITH THE BONNIE ZUCKERS: Bonnie Zucker Ph.D.(west) website: https://www.bonniezuckerphd.com Newsletter sign-up: https://bonnie-zucker-ph-d.kit.com/d44b57fcdf Books by Bonnie West: https://a.co/d/04aNJFDZ Bonnie Zucker Psy.D. (east) website: https://www.bonniezuckerandassociates.com Books by Bonnie East: https://shorturl.at/MxvRZ The content of Anxiety Matters Podcast is for informational purposes only and does not constitute mental health or medical advice, nor is it a substitute for professional mental health or medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you are experiencing a mental health crisis, call emergency services or a local crisis line.

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You Are Not Your Thoughts: How to Let Anxiety Pass Without Engaging

The Bonnies discuss detached mindfulness as a strategy for anxiety, including how it fits within metacognitive therapy. They explain the idea of shifting from participating in thoughts to observing them, especially when a triggering thought leads to rumination or catastrophizing. They describe how this approach is used with health anxiety and panic, where people may focus too closely on bodily sensations. They talk about moving attention outward, noticing when the mind is returning to familiar anxiety patterns, and treating those patterns as a brain habit rather than as facts. BZE also explains a practical exercise for detached mindfulness. The exercise uses a short set of neutral, false, and anxiety-provoking statements, which are read aloud several times before ending with the reminder that thoughts are just thoughts and have no power unless we give them power. The practice is meant to help clients step back from anxious thinking in daily life. They compare this with other mindfulness approaches, including breath focus, body scans, and sound-based exercises, and note that some methods can be difficult for people with anxiety. They close by emphasizing that the goal is not to eliminate thoughts, but to relate to them more as an observer than as a participant. HIGHLIGHTS: 1:27 Anxiety as Thought Traps 3:54 Observing Body Fears 7:15 Detached Mindfulness Practice 10:05 Testing Thoughts Out Loud 15:25 Traditional Mindfulness Options 17:11 Body Scan Memories mentioned in the episode: Metacognitive Therapy for Anxiety and Depression: https://a.co/d/02NNphWN CONNECT WITH THE BONNIE ZUCKERS: Bonnie Zucker Ph.D.(west) website: https://www.bonniezuckerphd.com Newsletter sign-up: https://bonnie-zucker-ph-d.kit.com/d44b57fcdf Books by Bonnie West: https://a.co/d/04aNJFDZ Bonnie Zucker Psy.D. (east) website: https://www.bonniezuckerandassociates.com Books by Bonnie East: https://shorturl.at/MxvRZ The content of Anxiety Matters Podcast is for informational purposes only and does not constitute mental health or medical advice, nor is it a substitute for professional mental health or medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you are experiencing a mental health crisis, call emergency services or a local crisis line.

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Anxiety Q&A: Real Questions - Evidence-Based Answers

Bonnie and Bonnie talk about comments BZW has received on her social media posts about fear of flying, which drew a large response. People described fears of crashing, being stuck on the plane, turbulence, getting sick, and having panic attacks during flights. A major part of their conversation focuses on vomiting fears, which they share is a common specific phobia. They discuss how some people fear vomiting because it is disgusting, while others fear getting sick, gagging, or not being able to breathe, and they share exposure-based approaches such as watching vomiting videos, gagging exercises, and gradual food-related exposure. They also touch on panic attack “kits” and other safety objects such as sour candy, ice packs, Xanax, water bottles, and phones. They explain that these can feel helpful at first, but that treatment often involves reducing safety behaviors so that panic stops feeling dangerous and life is less organized around avoiding it. Finally, they answer a question about whether GERD or acid reflux can be connected to panic attacks or anxiety. They explain that physical symptoms can trigger anxiety, that the gut-brain connection may play a role, and that treating the physical symptoms can sometimes reduce anxiety, often in coordination with other medical care. HIGHLIGHTS: 0:07 Flying Fears Online 3:33 Vomiting Phobias 8:18 Panic Kit Debate 12:27 Gut-Brain Anxiety CONNECT WITH THE BONNIE ZUCKERS: Bonnie Zucker Ph.D.(west) website: https://www.bonniezuckerphd.com Newsletter sign-up: https://bonnie-zucker-ph-d.kit.com/d44b57fcdf Books by Bonnie West: https://a.co/d/04aNJFDZ Bonnie Zucker Psy.D. (east) website: https://www.bonniezuckerandassociates.com Books by Bonnie East: https://shorturl.at/MxvRZ The content of Anxiety Matters Podcast is for informational purposes only and does not constitute mental health or medical advice, nor is it a substitute for professional mental health or medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you are experiencing a mental health crisis, call emergency services or a local crisis line.

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What Drains You & What Fuels You: Establishing Better Boundaries for Mental Health

The Bonnies talk about healthy boundaries and why saying yes too quickly can lead to stress, resentment, and over-commitment. They discuss the value of pausing before agreeing to requests, checking whether guilt or obligation is driving our decisions, and thinking through time and energy demands. Each share examples of setting and missing boundaries, including turning down an unpaid, high-stress therapy role and realizing that staying up late for fireworks was not worth the loss of sleep. They also talk about boundaries with themselves, such as protecting sleep, noticing when plans no longer fit what we need, and treating mistakes as learning opportunities. They also cover practical ways to make boundary-setting easier, including listing what gives us energy and what drains us, paying attention to body and mood cues, and reviewing commitments with fresh eyes. They also note that this applies across work, friendships, family obligations, and traditions, and that practicing saying no can make it easier over time. HIGHLIGHTS: 0:48 Healthy Boundaries 4:14 Sleep Boundary Mistakes 10:23 July Fourth Decisions 13:31 Energy Audit Exercise 18:46 Boundary Practice Tips 22:36 Protecting Your Well-Being 24:17 Make a Boundary List mentioned in episode Vibrate Higher Daily: https://a.co/d/0iRfappV CONNECT WITH THE BONNIE ZUCKERS: Bonnie Zucker Ph.D.(west) website: https://www.bonniezuckerphd.com Newsletter sign-up: https://bonnie-zucker-ph-d.kit.com/d44b57fcdf Books by Bonnie West: https://a.co/d/04aNJFDZ Bonnie Zucker Psy.D. (east) website: https://www.bonniezuckerandassociates.com Books by Bonnie East: https://shorturl.at/MxvRZ The content of Anxiety Matters Podcast is for informational purposes only and does not constitute mental health or medical advice, nor is it a substitute for professional mental health or medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you are experiencing a mental health crisis, call emergency services or a local crisis line.

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Death Anxiety: How to Cope with the Fear of Dying with Hospice Nurse Penny

Bonnie and Bonnie talk about death and dying through the lens of anxiety, and discuss how direct, clear language can help make the topic less frightening. They also share how avoiding words like “died” can increase fear, especially for children, and why early, honest conversations about death matter. The two speak with Penny Smith, a recently retired hospice and palliative care nurse, author of *Influencing Death: Reframing Dying for Better Living*, and social media educator known as Hospice Nurse Penny. Penny shares her personal history, including addiction, jail, and becoming a nurse at 40 and explains that learning about death and working in hospice helped reduce her own death anxiety and gave her a sense of service and purpose. She describes what dying can look like in hospice, including transitioning, body changes, and deathbed visions. Penny explains that these experiences are often comforting, are not the same as hallucinations, and are part of what she considers normal at the end of life. They discuss acceptance as a major part of reducing fear of death. Penny says that talking about death, seeing dying as a natural process, and educating families can reduce anxiety and help people focus more on living than on worrying about dying. HIGHLIGHTS: 3:17 Meet Hospice Nurse Penny 6:04 From Addiction to Hospice 9:54 Talking Death With Kids 14:16 Normalizing the Dying Process 18:27 Deathbed Visions and Acceptance 21:52 Personal Encounters With Death 28:05 What Dying People See 33:29 Hallucinations or Visions? 36:44 The Nun’s Final Insight 40:09 TikTok and the Ripple Effect connect with Hospice Nurse Penny website: https://www.hospicenursepenny.com Influencing Death: https://www.hospicenursepenny.com/book mentioned in this episode Book by Bonnie Zucker - Something Very Sad Happened: https://a.co/d/0dkKVH0V CONNECT WITH THE BONNIE ZUCKERS: Bonnie Zucker Ph.D.(west) website: https://www.bonniezuckerphd.com Newsletter sign-up: https://bonnie-zucker-ph-d.kit.com/d44b57fcdf Books by Bonnie West: https://a.co/d/04aNJFDZ Bonnie Zucker Psy.D. (east) website: https://www.bonniezuckerandassociates.com Books by Bonnie East: https://shorturl.at/MxvRZ The content of Anxiety Matters Podcast is for informational purposes only and does not constitute mental health or medical advice, nor is it a substitute for professional mental health or medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you are experiencing a mental health crisis, call emergency services or a local crisis line.

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Travel Anxiety Explained: Expert Tips for Stress-Free Trips

In this episode, BZW and BZE talk about travel anxiety and the different forms it can take. They discuss fear of flying, worry about being far from home, concern about leaving a house unattended, and anxiety about pets, work, or access to medical care while away. They also talk about how anticipatory anxiety can build before a trip and how it can affect decisions about whether to go, how long to stay, and how far to travel. They suggest identifying the specific root of the fear so it can be addressed directly. A major theme is using a values-driven approach rather than letting fear make the decision. The Bonnies talk about remembering why we are traveling, such as spending time with family, taking a break, and experiencing new places and cultures. They also discuss practical coping strategies, including checking in with other people to compare worries, arranging care for pets and the house, and using graded exposure when possible. For fear of flying, they suggest, if possible, starting with shorter flights or, if needed, using a simulated long-flight exercise. HIGHLIGHTS: 2:11 Why Travel Feels Scary 4:45 Finding The Positive 7:35 Root Causes And Reframes 10:38 Graded Exposure For Flying 14:37 My Travel Scam Story 18:46 Pets And Trip Planning 22:37 Vacation Advice CONNECT WITH THE BONNIE ZUCKERS: Bonnie Zucker Ph.D.(west) website: https://www.bonniezuckerphd.com Newsletter sign-up: https://bonnie-zucker-ph-d.kit.com/d44b57fcdf Books by Bonnie West: https://a.co/d/04aNJFDZ Bonnie Zucker Psy.D. (east) website: https://www.bonniezuckerandassociates.com Books by Bonnie East: https://shorturl.at/MxvRZ The content of Anxiety Matters Podcast is for informational purposes only and does not constitute mental health or medical advice, nor is it a substitute for professional mental health or medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you are experiencing a mental health crisis, call emergency services or a local crisis line.

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LGBTQ+, Mental Health & DBT Skills: Tools for Emotional Well-Being with Dr. Kiki Fehling

Dr. Kiki Fehling (aka DBT Kiki) is back with the Bonnies to discuss dialectical behavior therapy, LGBTQ+ mental health, and how language shapes understanding and treatment. They discuss why DBT has been useful for many different concerns, including anxiety, emotional dysregulation, PTSD, substance use, eating disorders, and depression. Kiki explains DBT’s main skill areas: emotion regulation, distress tolerance, mindfulness, and interpersonal effectiveness. They all agree that DBT breaks complex problems into concrete, structured steps, and how that makes the skills easier to use in daily life and in therapy. A major focus of the conversation is minority stress and its impact on LGBTQ+ people. They discuss discrimination, anticipated discrimination, and internalized stigma, as well as the importance of affirming language, representation, and feeling understood. Kiki goes on to clarify terms such as queer, cisgender, and related identity language. The Bonnies ask about the development of Kiki's LGBTQ+ Mental Health Workbook and her work making evidence-based psychotherapy more accessible. Also discussed is how queer people can use DBT skills like opposite action, coping skills, and community connection to respond to shame, anxiety, and rejection sensitivity. They close with a discussion of resilience, queer joy, intersectionality, and collective support. Dr. Fehling also mentions practical ways to find resources, including LGBTQ+ community centers, affirming therapists, and independent bookstores. HIGHLIGHTS: 3:39 DBT Becomes More Accessible 5:33 What DBT Really Teaches 10:34 Why This Book Matters 12:47 Queer Language and Identity 17:46 Understanding Minority Stress 24:54 Bi Visibility and Stigma 29:53 Resilience and Queer Joy 32:59 DBT Skills for Queer Clients 37:16 Finding Safe Resources connect with DBT Kiki website: https://www.kikifehling.com substack: https://howtoqueerjoy.substack.com The LGBTQ+ Mental Health Workbook: https://www.kikifehling.com/lgbtqworkbook resources mentioned: CenterLink: https://www.lgbtqcenters.org Bookshop: https://bookshop.org CONNECT WITH THE BONNIE ZUCKERS: Bonnie Zucker Ph.D.(west) website: https://www.bonniezuckerphd.com Newsletter sign-up: https://bonnie-zucker-ph-d.kit.com/d44b57fcdf Books by Bonnie West: https://a.co/d/04aNJFDZ Bonnie Zucker Psy.D. (east) website: https://www.bonniezuckerandassociates.com Books by Bonnie East: https://shorturl.at/MxvRZ The content of Anxiety Matters Podcast is for informational purposes only and does not constitute mental health or medical advice, nor is it a substitute for professional mental health or medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you are experiencing a mental health crisis, call emergency services or a local crisis line.

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From Rested to Joyful: Psychological Strategies for a Better Life

In this episode the Bonnies continue their discussion of sleep and what they learned after our previous conversation about CBT-I for insomnia. They review core sleep as including REM and deep sleep, and note that adults are generally still recommended to get seven to nine hours of sleep. They talk about how people often become anxious about not sleeping well and start catastrophizing about the next day. They each share their own recent experiences of getting too little sleep, including waking early, getting out of bed instead of lying awake, and finding that they could still function and work through the day. The two then discuss how tiredness can sometimes change our mood and behavior in unexpected ways. BZE describes being more patient with ourselves, lowering our standards a little, and becoming calmer or more reflective when we are exhausted. They also mention that being tired can sometimes reduce anxiety and interrupt hypervigilance. The episodes wraps up by turning to the idea of joy and a book BZE recently started reading, Joyful Anyway by Kate Bowler. They talk about how difficult things and joy can exist at the same time, and how important it is to notice access to joy in daily life, even when the world feels overwhelming. HIGHLIGHTS: 0:39 Core Sleep Explained 3:55 Rethinking a Bad Night 8:02 Flow and Self-Compassion 12:24 Finding Joy Anyway 16:30 Lightness After Darkness mentioned in this episode: Joyful Anyway by Kate Bowler: https://a.co/d/05ornj2P Seat of the Soul by Gary Zukav: https://a.co/d/0hlFqvLh CONNECT WITH THE BONNIE ZUCKERS: Bonnie Zucker Ph.D.(west) website: https://www.bonniezuckerphd.com Newsletter sign-up: https://bonnie-zucker-ph-d.kit.com/d44b57fcdf Books by Bonnie West: https://a.co/d/04aNJFDZ Bonnie Zucker Psy.D. (east) website: https://www.bonniezuckerandassociates.com Books by Bonnie East: https://shorturl.at/MxvRZ The content of Anxiety Matters Podcast is for informational purposes only and does not constitute mental health or medical advice, nor is it a substitute for professional mental health or medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you are experiencing a mental health crisis, call emergency services or a local crisis line.

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Why You Can't Sleep and How CBT-I Fixes It with guest Dr. Jesse Spiegel

The Bonnies introduce Dr. Jesse Spiegel, a licensed clinical psychologist who treats children, adolescents, and adults. This episode focuses on insomnia and on cognitive behavioral therapy for insomnia, or CBTI, which they discuss as a first-line treatment. Dr. Jesse explains how insomnia is distinguished from short-term sleep problems. He describes chronic insomnia as difficulty falling asleep, staying asleep, or waking too early, occurring at least three nights a week for at least three months, with clear distress or impaired functioning. They discuss the main ideas behind CBTI and talk about sleep drive, circadian timing, and arousal, and how these factors interact with chronotype. Dr. Jesse notes that morning and evening types may have different sleep patterns, and we discuss that chronotype is largely biological. Dr. Jesse also covers the behavioral parts of treatment. He explains stimulus control, including going to bed only when sleepy, getting out of bed if unable to sleep, using the bed only for sleep and sex, waking at the same time each day, and avoiding naps when possible. He then describes sleep restriction, where time in bed is adjusted to better match actual sleep time in order to improve sleep efficiency. Finally, they talk about the thoughts and habits that can keep insomnia going. Also mentioned is worry, catastrophic thinking, safety behaviors, and the way sleep tracking devices can become unhelpful for some people. The goal with treatment is that it aims to reduce pressure around sleep and make it feel more effortless. HIGHLIGHTS: 6:03 Meet Dr. Jesse Spiegel 7:38 What Is CBT-I? 12:02 Sleep Drive and Body Clock 19:40 Bed Becomes a Battleground 23:48 How CBTI Treats Insomnia 30:09 The Core Sleep Debate 34:20 Calming Sleep Anxiety 39:10 Reframing Sleep Thoughts 43:23 Wearables and Sleep Logs connect with Dr. Jesse website: https://www.drjessespiegel.com CONNECT WITH THE BONNIE ZUCKERS: Bonnie Zucker Ph.D.(west) website: https://www.bonniezuckerphd.com Newsletter sign-up: https://bonnie-zucker-ph-d.kit.com/d44b57fcdf Books by Bonnie West: https://a.co/d/04aNJFDZ Bonnie Zucker Psy.D. (east) website: https://www.bonniezuckerandassociates.com Books by Bonnie East: https://shorturl.at/MxvRZ The content of Anxiety Matters Podcast is for informational purposes only and does not constitute mental health or medical advice, nor is it a substitute for professional mental health or medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you are experiencing a mental health crisis, call emergency services or a local crisis line.

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A Day in the Life of an OCD Psychologist (part 2): The Effectiveness of ERP for OCD

In this part 2 BZE and BZW discuss anxiety and OCD through their clinical work and personal experiences, including a recent visit in Maryland and time spent together in person. They talk about exposure work at Whole Foods, contamination fears, and how exposures can be broken into smaller steps while still helping retrain reactions to triggering situations. They also discuss social anxiety, selective attention to negative events, and the body’s physical anxiety response, including adrenaline, cortisol, shortness of breath, and a faster heartbeat. Along the way, they share a few personal moments from the visit, including the BZE's dog, a train delay, and a mix-up over continuing education credits. HIGHLIGHTS: 2:54 OCD Exposures Explained 6:45 Anxiety and Threat Perception 10:24 Unattended Drinks and Safety 17:34 Cassidy’s Warm Welcome 19:20 Train Ride Troubles 21:24 Mixed-Up CEs CONNECT WITH THE BONNIE ZUCKERS: Bonnie Zucker Ph.D.(west) website: https://www.bonniezuckerphd.com Newsletter sign-up: https://bonnie-zucker-ph-d.kit.com/d44b57fcdf Books by Bonnie West: https://a.co/d/04aNJFDZ Bonnie Zucker Psy.D. (east) website: https://www.bonniezuckerandassociates.com Books by Bonnie East: https://shorturl.at/MxvRZ The content of Anxiety Matters Podcast is for informational purposes only and does not constitute mental health or medical advice, nor is it a substitute for professional mental health or medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you are experiencing a mental health crisis, call emergency services or a local crisis line.

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A Day in the Life of an OCD Psychologist: Bonnie West Visits Bonnie East in Maryland

East meets West in this special episode of Anxiety Matters as Bonnie West travels to visit Bonnie East. After an excitedly heartwarming welcome, the two enjoy good food and drink as they discuss exciting new plans for Anxiety Matters. The two hit up Bonnie East's local Whole Foods to do a live exposure exercise. They leave tea on a shelf, walk away for a while, and return to drink it and describe the purpose of these exercises as helping people tolerate uncertainty, discomfort, and the anxiety that rises and then falls. They discuss several kinds of exposure work, including asking for help, interrupting someone, leaving items unattended, and handling contamination fears including a more direct contamination exposure involving a chip that is placed on a shelf and then on the floor before being eaten. BZE describes how some people need repeated practice before they are willing to do it, and notes that doing the feared action often reduces anxiety more than expected. Later, BZW visits BZE's office and home, where they talk about the workspace, the artwork created by Bonnie East's mom, and family-made gifts. They wrap up by discussing BZE's home, the dog, the Christmas decorations, how they each work and the surprising place Bonnie East records episodes of the podcast. You'll want to listen in, not only for valuable information on exposure exercises, but for the fun these two share when they're together. HIGHLIGHTS: 1:18 Whole Foods Exposure 5:17 Challenging Contamination Fears 7:49 Tolerating Uncertainty 9:49 Eating the Floor Chip 14:08 Flooding Exposures 17:05 Visiting the Office 20:24 House Tour and Gifts 24:21 Cozy Home Reflections CONNECT WITH THE BONNIE ZUCKERS: Bonnie Zucker Ph.D.(west) website: https://www.bonniezuckerphd.com Newsletter sign-up: https://bonnie-zucker-ph-d.kit.com/d44b57fcdf Books by Bonnie West: https://a.co/d/04aNJFDZ Bonnie Zucker Psy.D. (east) website: https://www.bonniezuckerandassociates.com Books by Bonnie East: https://shorturl.at/MxvRZ The content of Anxiety Matters Podcast is for informational purposes only and does not constitute mental health or medical advice, nor is it a substitute for professional mental health or medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you are experiencing a mental health crisis, call emergency services or a local crisis line.

A Perfectionist's Guide to Not Being Perfect

In this episode BZE and BZW talk about perfectionism through their own habits and experiences, from the pressure to make the “right” choice to the way rigid standards can show up in everyday life. They discuss BZE's book *A Perfectionist’s Guide to Not Being Perfect*, written for middle and high school readers, and how it was shaped by her writing routine and the disruptions of early 2020. They explore how perfectionism can lead to inflexibility, repeated checking, procrastination, and avoidance in school, work, and relationships. They also discuss treatment approaches that focus on flexibility, including exposure exercises, small acts of spontaneity, and learning to tolerate mistakes. The two then look at perfectionism in students and families, including test anxiety, social media, college decisions, and parental pressure. They close by emphasizing practical ways to respond to perfectionism, such as time limits for avoided tasks and reducing harsh self-criticism, with flexibility presented as more helpful than perfection. HIGHLIGHTS: 3:06 Eye Exam Epiphany 5:33 Writing Through Perfectionism 8:43 Flexibility Over Control 12:03 When Perfection Hurts 13:21 Building Flexible Habits 16:26 Social Media Pressure 19:01 Success Beyond Grades 23:27 Parenting Through Mistakes 27:41 College Choices Matter Less 30:05 Break the Avoidance Cycle mentioned in the episode: A Perfectionist's Guide to Not Being Perfect by Bonnie (East): https://a.co/d/0ajFPyrp The Obstacle is the Way book: https://a.co/d/01abU2GT CONNECT WITH THE BONNIE ZUCKERS: Bonnie Zucker Ph.D.(west) website: https://www.bonniezuckerphd.com Newsletter sign-up: https://bonnie-zucker-ph-d.kit.com/d44b57fcdf Books by Bonnie West: https://a.co/d/04aNJFDZ Bonnie Zucker Psy.D. (east) website: https://www.bonniezuckerandassociates.com Books by Bonnie East: https://shorturl.at/MxvRZ The content of Anxiety Matters Podcast is for informational purposes only and does not constitute mental health or medical advice, nor is it a substitute for professional mental health or medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you are experiencing a mental health crisis, call emergency services or a local crisis line.

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Panic Attack or Heart Attack: Treatment Strategies That Work

In this episode, BZW and BZE revisit Ireland Baldwin's journey with health anxiety and panic disorder, examining how trauma, genetics, and environmental factors intersect to influence anxiety. They explore the cycle of fear and heightened sensitivity to bodily sensations, advocating for cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) as a key intervention. Their discussion highlights interoceptive exposure techniques to confront discomfort and stresses the importance of supportive relationships with established boundaries. Ireland’s story illustrates that, with effective strategies, individuals can manage anxiety and reclaim control over their lives, empowering listeners to understand their own experiences with anxiety. Be sure to listen to episode 64 with Ireland Baldwin to understand the foundation of her health anxiety. HIGHLIGHTS: 1:09 Follow-Up on Ireland Baldwin interview (ep 64) 4:13 Exploring Health Anxiety 5:36 The Role of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy 7:52 Personal Stories and Panic Buttons 9:42 Addressing Trauma and EMDR 11:09 Understanding Family Support 15:34 The Importance of Tolerating Uncertainty 17:17 Interoceptive Exposure Explained CONNECT WITH THE BONNIE ZUCKERS: Bonnie Zucker Ph.D.(west) website: https://www.bonniezuckerphd.com Newsletter sign-up: https://bonnie-zucker-ph-d.kit.com/d44b57fcdf Bonnie Zucker Psy.D. (east) website: https://www.bonniezuckerandassociates.com The content of Anxiety Matters Podcast is for informational purposes only and does not constitute mental health or medical advice, nor is it a substitute for professional mental health or medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you are experiencing a mental health crisis, call emergency services or a local crisis line.

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