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Static Radio · September 15 · 31 min

Back Crackers

Bob meets his friends for lunch and gets the worst lunch pitch ever, while Miles has a very non-conversational chiropractor visit. GAMES, like old-school games, play a few with the Static Radio twist here - https://www.staticradio.com/category/games/ _ultp_btn_ic_right_circle_line_ultp_btn_ic_end_Subscribe Random Show Click Below https://youtube.com/live/CPj_fLbu5xo Bob meets his friends for lunch and gets the worst lunch pitch ever, while Miles has a very non-conversational chiropractor visit. Bad AI Transcript Like a measuring cup? Mm-hmm. Are you measuring what you're eating, or is it just convenient? I just like to measure it. I'm measuring things. Mm-hmm. I'm sorry. organizations. Go ahead, Jones. Blow it back to God. Hey everyone, this is Miles. I thought maybe you'd sing the Honeycomb song again. No. Oh, okay. I'm going to have a little bit of cereal tonight. Yeah, I was... What was your dinner? What did you have for dinner? Chicken strips. I had some chicken strips. You created a monster, Chick-fil-A. Oh, my God. This guy, I swear to God, he spends like half his paycheck on fast food these days. I'll just have to get some of that homemade lemonade as well. Yeah. And a cookie for $1.50. Didn't you used to eat out quite a bit? I still do from time to time, but yeah. But there's another issue where I have to travel, and so I'm forced to eat out. I can't take a kitchen with me. Really? I just can have protein shakes, I guess. I could just take a bunch of Slim Fast or...under your chins. Oh my gosh. You shouldn't really be eating this late, honestly. I like to do things that you disapprove of. Well, you're doing a good job. See, like, I don't work for you. Like, these stupid people have to work under you all the time. They have to kiss your ass. Like, yes, Mr. Lamont. I mean, I'm like, fuck, you don't own me, dude. You know, fuck it. If I want to eat at 930 some super sugar crisps, I will. At 930, MFR. And if you don't like it. Whatever I want. I shop after 7 p.m., which you don't like. You can do that. It's like, why? Why are you doing this to yourself? I enjoy it. I like to go shopping. I think of funny stuff. When I drive around by myself, I think of funny stuff. Well, that's good. Yeah, it's like creative for me. Well, that's fantastic.I can appreciate that. I mean, it's not really funny, but I mean, you know, I think it's funny. I'm laughing at the grocery store. Yeah. That's me. Buy some sugar smacks. I pulled a muscle laughing in the grocery store. That's right. Like that schnooks. I pulled a muscle in the dairy aisle. Ha ha ha! All these cheese jokes came into my mind. You see, you see. Jello pudding. Oh, my Lord. Yeah. I'm just. Hey, you know, I was going to tell you here. You are, you know, a trendsetter. I've been told. Go on. Who told you that? My mom. Oh, okay. Yeah. Those tough skins are going to make you a trendsetter at school. Really? You don't need Levi's. You need Cavaricci. Tough skins. No, I went to lunch with some friends of mine. Oh, this guy with the lunch in front. Geez. I love to go to lunch with friends.This is so... I'm just jealous I have no friends. That's why I'm so jealous. You're not going to go to lunch with friends. I think I'll invite my invisible friends and they won't even go. I'm like, God damn it. So, Hefe met me for lunch and another friend, Erk. And the funny thing is we all came from different directions. So, we met in the middle because Hefe lives close to me, but Erk doesn't. And So he came south, I came north, and then Jefe was screwing around out west, and so then he came east. And we all met for a lunch in a little town. Mm-hmm. Ferguson? What's that? Ferguson? No. Ferguson? No, it wasn't Ferguson. No, it wasn't Ferguson. Go ahead. Go ahead. Not Ferguson, no. I mean, a little, you know, like farmer town kind of place. Oh, I see. And a bump in the road, as it were.But it was on Labor Day. Oh, fancy. And so we're like, let's go to the cafe. And it was closed. And then let's go to the pizza place. It was closed. So we're in this little town trying to find some place that's open on Labor Day. It was kind of a tough thing. But while... We were waiting for Hefe because he's kind of late. We were at the pizza place waiting for him. And this guy comes walking. We were just sitting outside. They were closed. And they have a bench outside. So we sat down on the bench and we're just chatting, waiting for Hefe to show up. And... This guy from over at a body shop or something, some kind of mechanic thing, right? He's wearing the shirt with his name on it, and he's all dirty looking. He's obviously a very hardworking man compared to myself. Yeah. Who's just sitting on this bench wishing that pizza was open. Yeah.around lunchtime. Uh, Hefe is, uh, violating one of your rules of being late. Oh, Hefe is always late. I don't know what it is about me and my friends who are always late. You, you have like certain strong likes and dislikes. I'm just telling the audience this, whoever might be listening, but, uh, this is one of them you you have to be you have to be early 10 minutes early. If you're going to meet this nitwit, make it 10 minutes early. We continue on. Hefe's always late. It's only gotten worse since he's semi-retired. He's out of the game, man. He's like, I don't care. I want to show up whenever I want to. He's kind of like that before. We're sitting there and this guy from the...I don't know, auto place over there. It crosses the street. Wow. He's making a beeline for us, and I'm sitting there, and I'm like, I wonder what's going to happen now. Are you the male prostitutes I ordered? Yeah. I don't know if that was the case. Are you Irk and Bob? Yeah, a little small town kind of thing. And Hefe drives in at the same time. And it was, you know, kind of like everybody was meeting, you know, all meeting out in the desert or something. And... Yeah. It's like the good and bad and the ugly at the end. Exactly. Blondie. Hey, Blondie. Blondie, Blondie. Shoot, shoot. So Hefe's... pulling in this guy's crossing the street. Me and eric are sitting there chatting and i'm kind of keeping an eye on this guy, you know, trying to figure out what the hell's gonna happen yeah like are we in his favorite spot or something? Is it break time? Is it smoking time? I don't know what's going on. Bob does like strangers either. Oh no. Yes. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I had, yeah, I'm, you know,I'm the situation I'm sizing up the situation, deciding what needs to happen. Your bingo card is filling up quickly. I can tell on this adventure. And so, uh, so he gets over clay. He doesn't come too close. Thank goodness. He, he did, uh, you know, I live my life like a celebrity. You can't come within certain amount of feet from me. Right. Yes. This is true. This is all 100% true. I like to have a good distance between me and the regular folk. This is true. Even though I'm not a celebrity per se, I do like to live my life as if I am one. And you should know not to look at me, not to talk to me. Correct. And be more than two arms length away from me at all times. No hugging. No hugging. Yeah. No kissing. Yeah.none of that stuff. So he does keep a good distance and he stops. He's like, Hey, guys, did you know that the pizza place was closed? Newsflash? Yeah, newsflash. And I'm like, Yeah, pretty, we're aware of that. And he's like, Oh, I wasn't sure if you thought maybe somebody was coming to open it up. And I'm like, No, they got a sign. And I go, we're just waiting on our friend. And at the time he just pulled in and he was getting out of his truck, walking towards us. I go, we're just waiting for a friend here. And he's like, well, this was like the most awkward sales pitch I've ever been heard. Sounds like a Rolling Stones song. So he's like, well, he kind of looks around and,I don't know what's going to happen. My wife, and again, not sure where this is going, has opened this bowl place downtown. I'm like, bowl place? I didn't say anything, but I'm like, what is a bowl place? Like a haircut? No, like you get a bowl and you put some rice and some chicken in it. Oh, he's the... Uh, hype man for the, yeah well, he was the most awkward hype man i've ever seen. This is closed. You go downtown. Well, I've got a bowl shop. Like having goober pile. Tell me about a bowl shop surprise surprise surprise that's gomer i'm talking about Cooper. Oh, sorry. I don't know what i go ahead. That's that predates me. I don't know. I'm like, huh? He's kind of kicking the dirt and looking around. Yes, you got it.Hands in his pockets. Shucks. Shucks. You got it. hype man. And I'm like, huh? You know, I'm still trying to figure this out. Yeah. Yeah, the bowl you know. And then, you know, Jefe walks up and he does, Jefe dismisses everybody. Yeah. He's like, looking at the guy like, what the hell is he talking about you know I mean, yeah. Hefe does not care about anybody in the vicinity most of the time. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. And so, so yeah. And the guy's like, go on. She's open up now. And I'm like, and Eric is just, I don't think anything. He's just like looking at him and I'm like, And out of the three of us, to be honest with you, Erk is the most worldly person. He's been all over the world because he was in the military, so he made him go all over the world. And it was a little forced world tour he had to go on there. I think he's probably got sealed carry, so he's not the least bit scared. He's like, mm-hmm.Well, yeah, that's yeah. No, I, I bet. No, I bet you right now. The two of the three people probably had uh weapons within reach yeah and i'm not one of them. So yeah, I don't want to see a weapon yeah so yeah they they had no, uh, qualms about whatever was going to happen was going to happen. You know, let me guess where you didn't eat. Volarama. Volarama. Yeah. I'm like, oh, for some reason I become the spokesperson. Yeah. Because, I mean, you know,...

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Bob meets his friends for lunch and gets the worst lunch pitch ever, while Miles has a very non-conversational chiropractor visit.

GAMES, like old-school games, play a few with the Static Radio twist here - https://www.staticradio.com/category/games/

_ultp_btn_ic_right_circle_line_ultp_btn_ic_end_Subscribe

Random Show Click Below

https://youtube.com/live/CPj_fLbu5xo

Bob meets his friends for lunch and gets the worst lunch pitch ever, while Miles has a very non-conversational chiropractor visit.

Bad AI Transcript

Like a measuring cup? Mm-hmm. Are you measuring what you're eating, or is it just convenient? I just like to measure it. I'm measuring things. Mm-hmm. I'm sorry. organizations. Go ahead, Jones. Blow it back to God. Hey everyone, this is Miles. I thought maybe you'd sing the Honeycomb song again. No. Oh, okay. I'm going to have a little bit of cereal tonight. Yeah, I was... What was your dinner? What did you have for dinner? Chicken strips. I had some chicken strips. You created a monster, Chick-fil-A. Oh, my God. This guy, I swear to God, he spends like half his paycheck on fast food these days. I'll just have to get some of that homemade lemonade as well. Yeah. And a cookie for $1.50. Didn't you used to eat out quite a bit? I still do from time to time, but yeah. But there's another issue where I have to travel, and so I'm forced to eat out. I can't take a kitchen with me. Really? I just can have protein shakes, I guess. I could just take a bunch of Slim Fast or...under your chins. Oh my gosh. You shouldn't really be eating this late, honestly. I like to do things that you disapprove of. Well, you're doing a good job. See, like, I don't work for you. Like, these stupid people have to work under you all the time. They have to kiss your ass. Like, yes, Mr. Lamont. I mean, I'm like, fuck, you don't own me, dude. You know, fuck it. If I want to eat at 930 some super sugar crisps, I will. At 930, MFR. And if you don't like it. Whatever I want. I shop after 7 p.m., which you don't like. You can do that. It's like, why? Why are you doing this to yourself? I enjoy it. I like to go shopping. I think of funny stuff. When I drive around by myself, I think of funny stuff. Well, that's good. Yeah, it's like creative for me. Well, that's fantastic.I can appreciate that. I mean, it's not really funny, but I mean, you know, I think it's funny. I'm laughing at the grocery store. Yeah. That's me. Buy some sugar smacks. I pulled a muscle laughing in the grocery store. That's right. Like that schnooks. I pulled a muscle in the dairy aisle. Ha ha ha! All these cheese jokes came into my mind. You see, you see. Jello pudding. Oh, my Lord. Yeah. I'm just. Hey, you know, I was going to tell you here. You are, you know, a trendsetter. I've been told. Go on. Who told you that? My mom. Oh, okay. Yeah. Those tough skins are going to make you a trendsetter at school. Really? You don't need Levi's. You need Cavaricci. Tough skins. No, I went to lunch with some friends of mine. Oh, this guy with the lunch in front. Geez. I love to go to lunch with friends.This is so... I'm just jealous I have no friends. That's why I'm so jealous. You're not going to go to lunch with friends. I think I'll invite my invisible friends and they won't even go. I'm like, God damn it. So, Hefe met me for lunch and another friend, Erk. And the funny thing is we all came from different directions. So, we met in the middle because Hefe lives close to me, but Erk doesn't. And So he came south, I came north, and then Jefe was screwing around out west, and so then he came east. And we all met for a lunch in a little town. Mm-hmm. Ferguson? What's that? Ferguson? No. Ferguson? No, it wasn't Ferguson. No, it wasn't Ferguson. Go ahead. Go ahead. Not Ferguson, no. I mean, a little, you know, like farmer town kind of place. Oh, I see. And a bump in the road, as it were.But it was on Labor Day. Oh, fancy. And so we're like, let's go to the cafe. And it was closed. And then let's go to the pizza place. It was closed. So we're in this little town trying to find some place that's open on Labor Day. It was kind of a tough thing. But while... We were waiting for Hefe because he's kind of late. We were at the pizza place waiting for him. And this guy comes walking. We were just sitting outside. They were closed. And they have a bench outside. So we sat down on the bench and we're just chatting, waiting for Hefe to show up. And... This guy from over at a body shop or something, some kind of mechanic thing, right? He's wearing the shirt with his name on it, and he's all dirty looking. He's obviously a very hardworking man compared to myself. Yeah. Who's just sitting on this bench wishing that pizza was open. Yeah.around lunchtime. Uh, Hefe is, uh, violating one of your rules of being late. Oh, Hefe is always late. I don't know what it is about me and my friends who are always late. You, you have like certain strong likes and dislikes. I'm just telling the audience this, whoever might be listening, but, uh, this is one of them you you have to be you have to be early 10 minutes early. If you're going to meet this nitwit, make it 10 minutes early. We continue on. Hefe's always late. It's only gotten worse since he's semi-retired. He's out of the game, man. He's like, I don't care. I want to show up whenever I want to. He's kind of like that before. We're sitting there and this guy from the...I don't know, auto place over there. It crosses the street. Wow. He's making a beeline for us, and I'm sitting there, and I'm like, I wonder what's going to happen now. Are you the male prostitutes I ordered? Yeah. I don't know if that was the case. Are you Irk and Bob? Yeah, a little small town kind of thing. And Hefe drives in at the same time. And it was, you know, kind of like everybody was meeting, you know, all meeting out in the desert or something. And... Yeah. It's like the good and bad and the ugly at the end. Exactly. Blondie. Hey, Blondie. Blondie, Blondie. Shoot, shoot. So Hefe's... pulling in this guy's crossing the street. Me and eric are sitting there chatting and i'm kind of keeping an eye on this guy, you know, trying to figure out what the hell's gonna happen yeah like are we in his favorite spot or something? Is it break time? Is it smoking time? I don't know what's going on. Bob does like strangers either. Oh no. Yes. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I had, yeah, I'm, you know,I'm the situation I'm sizing up the situation, deciding what needs to happen. Your bingo card is filling up quickly. I can tell on this adventure. And so, uh, so he gets over clay. He doesn't come too close. Thank goodness. He, he did, uh, you know, I live my life like a celebrity. You can't come within certain amount of feet from me. Right. Yes. This is true. This is all 100% true. I like to have a good distance between me and the regular folk. This is true. Even though I'm not a celebrity per se, I do like to live my life as if I am one. And you should know not to look at me, not to talk to me. Correct. And be more than two arms length away from me at all times. No hugging. No hugging. Yeah. No kissing. Yeah.none of that stuff. So he does keep a good distance and he stops. He's like, Hey, guys, did you know that the pizza place was closed? Newsflash? Yeah, newsflash. And I'm like, Yeah, pretty, we're aware of that. And he's like, Oh, I wasn't sure if you thought maybe somebody was coming to open it up. And I'm like, No, they got a sign. And I go, we're just waiting on our friend. And at the time he just pulled in and he was getting out of his truck, walking towards us. I go, we're just waiting for a friend here. And he's like, well, this was like the most awkward sales pitch I've ever been heard. Sounds like a Rolling Stones song. So he's like, well, he kind of looks around and,I don't know what's going to happen. My wife, and again, not sure where this is going, has opened this bowl place downtown. I'm like, bowl place? I didn't say anything, but I'm like, what is a bowl place? Like a haircut? No, like you get a bowl and you put some rice and some chicken in it. Oh, he's the... Uh, hype man for the, yeah well, he was the most awkward hype man i've ever seen. This is closed. You go downtown. Well, I've got a bowl shop. Like having goober pile. Tell me about a bowl shop surprise surprise surprise that's gomer i'm talking about Cooper. Oh, sorry. I don't know what i go ahead. That's that predates me. I don't know. I'm like, huh? He's kind of kicking the dirt and looking around. Yes, you got it.Hands in his pockets. Shucks. Shucks. You got it. hype man. And I'm like, huh? You know, I'm still trying to figure this out. Yeah. Yeah, the bowl you know. And then, you know, Jefe walks up and he does, Jefe dismisses everybody. Yeah. He's like, looking at the guy like, what the hell is he talking about you know I mean, yeah. Hefe does not care about anybody in the vicinity most of the time. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. And so, so yeah. And the guy's like, go on. She's open up now. And I'm like, and Eric is just, I don't think anything. He's just like looking at him and I'm like, And out of the three of us, to be honest with you, Erk is the most worldly person. He's been all over the world because he was in the military, so he made him go all over the world. And it was a little forced world tour he had to go on there. I think he's probably got sealed carry, so he's not the least bit scared. He's like, mm-hmm.Well, yeah, that's yeah. No, I, I bet. No, I bet you right now. The two of the three people probably had uh weapons within reach yeah and i'm not one of them. So yeah, I don't want to see a weapon yeah so yeah they they had no, uh, qualms about whatever was going to happen was going to happen. You know, let me guess where you didn't eat. Volarama. Volarama. Yeah. I'm like, oh, for some reason I become the spokesperson. Yeah. Because, I mean, you know,...

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